


DETERMINATION BOUND

by calumTraveler



Series: XWAU02 (Digimon Multiverse Adventures) [5]
Category: Black Rock Shooter - All Media Types, Homestuck, Jurassic World Trilogy (Movies), Problem Sleuth (Webcomic), Zyuden Sentai Kyoryuger
Genre: Gen, Homestuck Kidswap, Homestuck typical violence, I'm starting to remember why i didnt post this originally lol, Jurassic World crosses in at Chapter 21, Multi, Novelization of a Fanventure, Originally Written Pre-Epilogues, Past Me Needed Therapy, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Rewrite, Roleswap, Subtle crossovers, and then some pretty blatant crossovers, black rock shooter crosses in at chapter 39, chapter specific content warnings in opening chapter notes, crossover city, kinda dark tbh, tags to be added as chapters posted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:33:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 57
Words: 154,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27840805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calumTraveler/pseuds/calumTraveler
Summary: (A DETERMIBENT FANVENTURE NOVELIZATION)Reality unfolded, and colapsed into quantum states as the Furthest Ring shattered into nothingness, collapsing inwards towards a vast, spiraling, massive green hued Black Hole.The white nothingness of reality behind it was but a mere backdrop as things were pulled inwards, shard by shard by shard.A derailment of reality had occurred.
Series: XWAU02 (Digimon Multiverse Adventures) [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/58203
Comments: 12
Kudos: 3





	1. EPILOGUE.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:   
> Reality Collapsing.  
> The Lord English Fight.  
> Souls being Torn Asunder.

**> END OF ACT 7.**  
  
Reality unfolded, and collapsed into quantum states as the Furthest Ring shattered into nothingness, collapsing inwards towards a vast, spiraling, massive green hued Black Hole.  
  
The white nothingness of reality behind it was but a mere backdrop as things were pulled inwards, shard by shard by shard.  
  
Davepetaspritesquared, commonly known as Davepeta, lay on the ground of a broken dream bubble, with a broken wing, watching on helplessly as things fell apart.   
  
A derailment of reality had occurred.  
  
The last fight against Lord English had... not gone well.  
  
Vriska Serket had approached the demon with the JUJU CHEST under arm, and English, framed with the Green Sun rapidly turning into that Black Hole, had rolled his eyes.  
  
It should have been eight balls, instead, he'd rolled cue balls.  
  
The JUJU chest opened and the JUJU was released and...  
  
Nothing.  
  
Reality had been derailed in a fundamental way.  
  
One Epilogue had been substituted for Another, before it had even been written.  
  
Narratively speaking- Reality had become undone because of a simple Shrodingers Cat paradox.  
  
Was the JUJU loaded or unloaded?  
  
When this quantum state collapsed, the dice had fallen on unloaded.  
  
And Reality-  
  


**\--Static filled the skies--**

  
-Began to-  
  


_\--The White Void Warped as Glass Shards of Reality shattered--_

  
-Do the one thing it-  
  


**_\--Silver warps in space time tore open, showing other instances of this fight going smoothly... or not smoothly--_ **

  
-Always ALWAYS did when faced with-

  
_\--Davepetasprite felt their very essence being torn in half and suddenly there was no Davepeta, just Nepeta, and--_  
  


-A broken timeloop.  
  


~~ _**~~~---CRASH!!!!---~~~** _ ~~  
  


Everything went blank as the Narrative Registered a Divide By Zero Error.  
  


* * *

  
**DETERMINATION BOUND**

_**(A DETERMIBENT TEXTVENTURE NOVELIZATION)** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DETERMIBENT was a text-based and partially art-bound TEXT ADVENTURE I ran on the OmegaUpdate Forums around the time Act 7 was released, before the credits, and well before the Epilogues.
> 
> I've been debating all this time how to go about posting it- as it was, or do I rewrite it as a novelization? And as time has gone on, I've been also dealing with other things, other stories, other concepts, and of course, the Epilogues are a thing now, so... 
> 
> Yeah. It's time to Revisit this. Fortunately it's just going to be a Reformatting/Rewriting of stuff I've already done so there won't be too much to stall this one out... and keep the ending to the XWAU02 side of the Multiverse from being posted here from the rest of its series mates. 
> 
> Yeah, I'm sorry about that but the ending to that particular set of story arcs got burried in a fan venture... aaaaaand also got burried in the start of an original novel tied to this fanventure that I'm going to actually tag onto the end of this, because. UH. Yeah. That wasn't even included in the original fanventure. 
> 
> This whole thing has been something I've been debating what to do, but r3qu13m over in the Stargate Alternia comments section gave me a nudge towards resolution that allowed me to make a very half-asleep commitment to finishing this off within my own head, so... Here it is. Finally. I guess.
> 
> Sorry for the wait.


	2. ACT 1:  "A Lonely Girl."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ACT 1 Part 1. We meet our focus character.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Nightmares.  
> Insomnia.  
> Identity issues.  
> Room Examination.  
> First Attempt at Pesterlog formatting! WHEE!  
> Mentions of Pet Death.

A young girl awakened in her bed from a recurring nightmare.  
  
She looks to the clock- April 14th, 2016. Tomorrow, it seems, will be her birthday- though she already has her name, and it's certainly not something silly and pun-worthy like "Feline Colcat," which doesn't even fit the proper naming convention for a human kid.  
  
Her name is...   
  
Argo? [Argo Lalonde.](https://www.deviantart.com/calumtraveler/art/Determibent-Argo-Lalonde-606834783) Or, atleast, that's what she was given by her parents. The name has never quite felt right to her. 

Another name, if she could choose it, may very well have been Nep... or... Tomo? Or SOMETHING else, but, well. Reality is what it was and she wasn't of legal age yet to change anything on the documents surrounding her birth.  
  
Poor Nepeta- rather, uh- Argo- what were we thinking there with that name anyways?- was just awakening from a nightmare, as previously mentioned. It's a recurring one, at that, one that's been repeating on end with increasing frequency as of late.  
  
It's a dream in which she has wings, one of which is broken, and is watching as a giant SKULL DEMON terrorizes a Ghost Army.  
  
Like all dreams, she knows details that otherwise would never make sense given their lack of elaboration- they're just things that you just KNOW when you wake up.  
  
Argo, for her credit, blames the nightmares on a Particular Movie an online friend recommended her based on her Variety of Intersts, but lately that excuse feels like it's been falling somewhat... flat. Almost 2D, if one would allow such a narative choice.  
  
It's been several weeks already, subconscious, just give it a rest.  
  
**> Argo: Examine Room.**  
  
Argo examines her room- presently shrouded in darkness. It IS the middle of the night, after all, and she doesn't sleep with a nightlight anymore either. Something about the glow makes her feel... off. Something about light messing up sleep schedules, Dave said. It made sense at the time.  
  
Argo slips out of bed and turns on a lamp to properly see the room.  
  
Scattered acros the walls are posters of FAVORED CARTOON SHOWS and photos of Argo and her Cousin during random, various family meetings over the years.  
  
Across from the bed is a DESK, on which is a school issued laptop and a personal drawing tablet computer. Between the desk and the door is a bookshelf.  
  
Argo's eyes fall upon the photographs, framed oh so carefully into grids with one-another. The photos contain her and her cousin, JADE EGBERT. Though they're not related by blood, they boht share a common GRUNKLE BY ADOPTION.  
  
Jade's birthday was two days ago- er, the 12th that is. And as their birthdays are so close together, yet the both of them live on opposite sides of the country- the family usually alternated houses for the parties each year. This year, the party was meant to be here, in NEW YORK. However, just before that would happen, Jade's pet dog died to SUSPICIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES involving a Car, a Freaky Cat, and a hefty, unabridged _ENCLYCOPEDIA DRAMATICA._  
  
This happened days before she would leave and she did not make the decision that she would not be coming until the very last minute. Jade just couldn't stand the thought of traveling without her trusty companion by her side.  
  
Argo had sent the planned birthday gifts through the mail, and had hoped that they would have arrived by now, but that SAME DAY a freak meteor strike had blown a massive chunk into a late night interstate highway- preventing many delays across the country's mail system entirely.  
  
What a mess. And also, maybe it was for the best that Jade didn't come. Argo didn't want to think about what would have happened if Jade ahd been on the road when that meteor...  
  
This will be the first birthday spent apart since... well, Argo couldn't remember a time that the two of them never spent a birthday together. She hoped beyond all reason that this wasn't a sign they would be drifting apart in the future.  
  
Argo's eyes drift next to the posters. A TV Show called Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir stands prominent among the crowd.

_Miraculous! Simply the Best! Up to the Test when things go wrong!_

Argo and Jade love the show to bits- too bad the US broadcasters keep screwing with the schedule. They've both had to resort to finding AUSTRAILIA'S BROADCASTS to keep up to date- and the show keeps getting aired out of order causing all kinds of timeline confusions.  
  
Fingers crossed and hopefully the show won't get screwed over by the bad airing schedules- because it's starting to become a bad look for writing continuity. 

Argo thinks Chat Noir is the BEST at Cat Puns. Nobody can beat him at the Cat Puns Department, and she hopes to just as good as him in the PUNNING DEPARTMENT, one day.  
  
There USED to be some Gravity Falls Posters, but Argo's MOTHER took them down for some reason during one of her rare DRUNKEN FITS. She never explains why she does what she does while drunk and Argo doesn't question her motives anymore because she does not remember what she did once sober. It's a clear problem she's aware of and is working on it, but sometimes her job just stresses her out so much. Those Rare Drunken Fits have been getting more common lately.  
  
Argo hoped that her mother was not on the verge of being fired.  
  
While Argo misses seeing Mabel and Dipper on the walls, it gave her room for the Ladybug and Chat Noir posters that are there now. Though, it is a mystery what happened to the Gravity Falls Posters as it is. Gone with the wind... or possibly the fireplace's ashes.   
  
Argo turns her attention to the bookshelf next. On it are many, many books given to her over the course of many, many birthdays, as well as a PLAGG PLUSHIE.  
  
"Plaaaagggg..." Argo reached out and took the plushie into a hug.  
  
One of her ONLINE FRIENDS sent her this for Christmas. She doesn't know how they got their hands on it whole months before the official merchandise release date, but she's not complaining at having early access.   
  
That same friend send Jade a TIKKI PUSHIE, and Argo hopes that Tikki is giving Jade some good hugs in these Cataclysmic times.  
Jade HUGGS the PLAGG while looking over the many titles on the bookshelf. Primary is the MAGIC TREE HOUSE collection- extensive. The two cousins loved these books growing up. History, Magic, Fantasy, Adventure. WOW.  
  
Despite being a cat person, Nepe-- ARGO. There she goes again slipping up in the wake of that nightmare. Always happens. The sticky nature of that nightmarish dream always clings around for a while, necessitating these constant refreshes of sense of self and past history--   
  
Despite being a cat person, Argo's favorite arc was the one where the boy was turned into a dog and traveled along with JACKA ND ANNIE for a few books. They even visited the TITANIC! At the time, she thought it was just INCREDIBLE... and it didn't hurt that she was a Titanic fan at the time. There was just something about the idea of an UNSINKABLE SHIP that called out on a fundamental level.  
  
As Argo got older, though, she started to think the plots were getting a TINY BIT CONTRIVED and as the covers got harder, so too did the enjoyment of the ongoing plot lines dwindle. Jade still buys the books as they come out, though, and even if Argo doesn't read them anymore, she still gets a little wistful just seeing all the new volumes set up with all the numbers in a row.  
  
Still, it was this series that got her interested in ONGOING SERIALS in GENERAL. There are quite a few different ongoing series on the shelf, but she's recently started reading this one Fantasy Murder Mystery Detective Series that's pretty good!  
  
Argo checks the time, and to her dismay, sees that her re-affirmation of self has only caused nine minutes of time to pass.  
  
Atleast it's officially her birthday now. 

Argo drifts off for a moment considering where her PAW-NOIR-ARY PLAGG-RONYM PLATE got off to, and how hard it'd be to scratch out the old name and have it re-carved to have something else...  
  
Her idle thoughts have barely added another minute to the clock. Nice time management skills, sweetie!   
  
Argo's not the Time Player of this story, though.   
  
Argo looks to Plagg, and mimes the activation phrase for a ring she's not even wearing. "Plagg! Claws out!"  
  
She briefly daydreams about becoming CHAT NOIR and leaping out the window into the illuminated Parisian Landscape to either fight evil or just Paw-trol with BEST BUD, LADYBUG.  
  
But sadly, Argo is not Chat Noir, nor can she even open the bedroom window. Her mother had the window frame welded shut when Argo was little. This one had been easy to put together after the fact. She'd left the window open, and the family cat Jaspers escaped into the wilds after.   
  
Several Months Passed before Jaspers returned suddenly and dramatically WITH A FAMILY. By that sharply dressed cat-boy's side was a cute, white-furred cutie of a kitty who soon gave birth to an octet litter of oreo colored kittens- all of whom were adopted out to shelters.  
  
Jaspers and the Other Cat, whom your mother named BEATRICE, still live with them to this day. (Un)Fortunately, there haven't been any more Kitten Litters since then. (Mother Dearest had them both fixed. Sniff.)  
  
Argo glances out the window, thoughts focusing on it now.  
  
Oh, still, that welded frame taunts, and the free world beckons from outside. Argo climbs up onto the bed and pushes at the frame. It creaks and groans and yet the transparent glass refuses to budge one inch.   
  
The window would make ANYONE feel TRAPPED, in a sense once bordering on the titular. Outside, between the Laboratory that Argo's Mother works at, one could see the tree branches of the nearby forest swaying in a subtle breeze, unseen yet present in its pranksters gambits.  
  
Their waving limbs are illuminated by the entrancing glow of the Laboratory's Windows. it comes as no surprise that even this late at night, there are people hard at work burning the midnight oil.  
  
Argo's mother has told her that Time holds no meaning to the people she works with- for Experimentation is their Cause, while Science is but their Excuse. Argo could sympathize with that, they do what they want for however long they want. Deep within Argo's HEART she longs to flex her wings and soar. She believes She Can Fly, if only in her dreams where her wings aren't broken.  
  
Today is now her Sixteenth Birthday and unlike all fifteen preceding it, she feels a sense of... anticipation mixed with loneliness.  
  
Her cousin's absence is but the latest piece of foreshadowing to an adventure she feels is but just barely hiding in the background. Much like this monster from her dreams, it threads meteors like beams of death from the heavens to destroy- starting with an Interstate to prevent delivery of the mail.  
  
_"And while those who created the world did smile fondly upon their creation, Yaovi frowned as she put on the robes of death, and prepared for her role in this new world as the Reaper in Green. For as Life is Born, it must too Die. But in Death, Life will be Reborn once more. That, she knew, was the Cycle of Souls, Unending for as long as Forever was a thing." - Narrator, Mystryal Novels._

  
Most likely, due to Argo's current nightmare-induced insomnia, she feels that it's going to be a long day.  
  
Instantly, she has the inspiration to play some prison music to passive agressively one up her guardian, but while there is a distinct lack of equipment in the room, there's always the internet.  
  
Argo returns to her desk, placing Plagg down on it.  
  
The School computer is not to be used for anything but school work, and the thing won't even run during certain hours of the day. Ostensibly it's to prevent students from 'overworking' themselves. It's annoying, however, because unless one saves constantly, the thing will shut itself off without warning and you might loise a whole ten pages worth of a novel length essay.  
  
Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but it has happened before and Argo and her classmates have lost more than one assignment in the past due to this behavior.  
  
...The Drawing Tablet, on the other hand, has no such restrictions.  
  
...It also happens to have no physical volume control until after one has logged in.   
  
Argo's mother is a light sleeper when not drunk, so normally, she'd muffle the speakers with bed sheets if she were to turn it on right now.  
  
...She's sure to get a lot of grief for this, but she's feeling rather passive aggressive right now.  
  
Argo boots up the drawing tablet computer and presses it up against an air conditioning vent that connects to her mother's bedroom.  
  
The Laptop plays its UPBEAT JINGLE with reckless abandon.  
  
Argo braces for impact- or swift retribution-  
  
But nothing happens.  
  
Argo starts to search up for a PRISON SONG but... in the ten minutes it takes for Google to not give her what she wants, it dawns on her that her mother is either NOT IN THE HOUSE, or she was drinking after Argo went to bed and this is out like a light.  
  
Argo sighs, giving up on the prison song idea, and goes to FRESH JAMS. A Recent project is navigated to- a colab between Argo and her online friends.  
  
Admittedly, inspired by the nightmares, but it was a neat track.  
  
Argo plays the [BLACK HOLE GREEN SUN REVERSAL](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4SAxiJ057o)\- once more pressing the speakers of the tablet to the air vent to get some awesome reverb going on.

After the song is over, and Argo's not heard a single peep out of her mother, she's come to the certainty that the MOTHER has LEFT THE BUILDING.   
  
Argo considers killing time in her room, or exploring the house...  
  
The decision is interrupted, however, by Pesterchum FLARING TO LIFE...  
  
Even though Argo isn't logged into it?

* * *

-tentacleTherapist [TT] began Trolling arsenicCataclysm [AC] @ 12:19 A.M.-

TT: The more I observe your species, the more similarities between us I recognize.

TT: Nightmares, for example, seem to be a shared thing. So I ask you:

TT: Is there nothing you can use to ease your mind terrors?

AC: oh noooo

TT: If there were but a way to transfer objects from one place to another nigh instantaneously, by means of perhaps transmitting a simple eight digit code...?

AC: go away please

TT: Yes, if there was such a means, I would suggest you try this wonderful invention my species has.

TT: It's called Sopor Slime, and it soothes nightmares quite easily. We Trolls are constantly plagued by them, you see.

AC: go away go away go away

TT: Although, as of late we have had something of a shortage. So I could not send any to you even if we could send it at all.

TT: And even if we did have an excess to give away, since those nightmares seem to have made themselves more physical than mental, and most of us have taken to staying awake at all hours...

AC: im not buying your furricking product placement you stupid troll! XOO

AC: and how can you type so fast anyways!?

TT: Baseless Accusation! I am not selling anything at all.

TT: As for how I can type so fast, I'm pausing your timeline to write these messages, then resuming to send them.

TT: In this manner it can appear as if I am printing these messages almost instantly, one after the other.

TT: I am nothing if not efficient when it comes to my job.

AC: AAAHHHH! STOP IIIIITTT!

TT: Although, I see no reason why I should be doing it when everyone else at this point has dropped our leader's assigned job of 'trolling' you all.

TT: I'd much rather try to become friends.

AC: *AC covers her ears from all the pinging*

AC: then go troll someone else! im not in the mood for this right now!!

-arsenicCataclysm [AC] BLOCKED tentacleTherapist [TT] @ 12:20 A.M.-

-arsenicCataclysm [AC] set mood to OFFLINE-

-tentacleTherapist [TT] began Trolling arsenicCataclysm [AC] @ 12:21 A.M.-

TT: Why is it that when the subject of blocking us is broached, you humans don't seem to get the most simple of concepts?

AC: how the furrick are you still messaging me!?

TT: The Blocking.

TT: It does nothing.

TT: The block ruse is but a distraction, at best.

TT: At worst, it is a ploy that will gain you nothing but scorn from us.

TT: I am however willing to forgive this transgression.

TT: Insomnia is a terrible affliction to live with. Much like I'd imagine a peanut allergy would be, if we Trolls had such a thing as a peanut allergy.

TT: Cat allergies, on the other hand...

TT: Let us just say that there is a reason Tavros has avoided messaging you.

AC: STOP THAAAATTT!!!

-arsenicCataclysm [AC] BLOCKED tentacleTherapist [TT] @ 12:21 A.M.-

-tentacleTherapist [TT] began Trolling arsenicCataclysm [AC] @ 12:22 A.M.-

TT: Fine. I will stop pausing your timeline to send large swaths of text your way.

TT: Is this an agreeable arrangement for not blocking me again?

AC: ...fine. what do you want?

TT: As I've said before, I simply wish to help with your insomnia.

AC: why?

TT: Our leader has recently spent roughly six hundred hours of staying awake, much to the detriment of their logical and critical thinking. The rest of us have started following in their footsteps and I've begun to see the negative effects surfacing. I do not wish to see that fate befall you during such a critical time. You will need your sleep in the coming days, and I simply wish to help you get through this without much hassle.

AC: aahhh! youre just writting even larger blocks of text now aren't you!?

TT: But I did not pause your timeline to do it, thus my promise is kept. As I have said, I am nothing if not efficient.

AC: :(( thats not funny!

TT: It wasn't meant to be. I am quite serious about this rampant insomnia that seems to afflict the people I care about.

AC: why would you even care about me anyways???

AC: you and you trolls have been harassing us fur months!

TT: As I've alluded to before, I am slightly further along than the rest of my friends who have been messing with you.

AC: sure lets say ill believe that youre really a time traveling alien

AC: FUR NOW *AC glares suspiciously*

TT: Thank you for your generous faith in my statements.

AC: why are you being so furriendly?!

TT: There are many things going on presently that would make little sense to the you of the now if I were to explain them to you. As I have had that conversation with the you of the future- that is, my past, your future.

TT: I can say with 100% certainty: You will understand the full implications of what I'm about to say in due time, but simply put, as to avoid causal spoilers...

TT: Something happened, and it... what is he doing here?

AC: um... tt?

TT: Sorry, something has just come up. I apologize, but I have to go.

TT: Oh, and Happy Birthday, Argo.

-tentacleTherapist [TT] stopped Trolling arsenicCataclysm [AC] @ 12:33 A.M.-

* * *

Argo muses on the conversation for a moment before promptly flipping out like a frightened kitten.

How did a troll know it was her birthday- more disconcertingly how did they know her Name? She'd never given it out!!!

...Unless they were telling the truth about time travel? That's... A terrifying prospect. That these trolls that have been harassing her and her friends are actually...? Argo logged into Pesterchum proper, and looked at the list of online contacts. Of course, the trolls were offline, they're always offline when they're not bugging- but surprisingly there IS an online friend at this time of night.

* * *

-arsenicCataclysm [AC] began Pestering turntechGodhead [TG] @ 12:36 A.M.-

AC: dave? what are you doing up this late?

TG: oh hey ac

TG: i should be asking you the same thing but you beat me to the punch

TG: so yeah appartment building cross the street from us caught fire and the fire departments shown up in full force

AC: :OO oh my gosh what happened

TG: no clue me and bro are just chillin an watchin 

TG: like damn its like one of those loud ass siren mounted clown cars barfing up ants to piss on a camp fire trying to put it out before the marshmallows get burnt to a crisp

TG: scept instead of marshmallows its the people living there and instead of ants its a bunch of men and women wearing ghostbusters outfits using fire hoses instead of proton packs and

AC: that metaphor got away from you didnt it?

TG: yeah

TG: sorry 

TG: damn these flames are just transfixing

TG: here lemme send you a shitty selfie

\--turntechGodhead [TG] sent file "whoyagonnacallthefiredepartmentapparently.JPG"-- 

AC: long filename is loooong

TG: thats not the only thing just look at that huge hole in the side of the building

AC: what the hell made that?

TG: bro says he thinks it was a meth lab or something

TG: dunno if it was or not but it was loud enough of a bang to get the car alarms going over half the city

TG: fire department showed up about five minutes later

AC: shouldnt you and your bro be getting out of there?

TG: nah 

TG: bro thinks were safe for now

TG: fires not even that bad now

TG: only about a two alarm down from a full fledged ten 

AC: i dont think ten alarm fires are actually a thing

TG: argo we live in texas

TG: weve got like twenty alarm fires here

TG: its a thing 

TG: jesus christ get a pen are you writing this down

AC: i am writing it down in a text document F.Y.I. XPP

TG: okay sweet 

TG: but yeah its not that bad of a blaze now

TG: like half an hour ago it was like

TG: staring at the sun it was so bright 

TG: even my awesome cool kid shades werent doin much against the light that sucker was puttin out

AC: wow that really is a bright fire

TG: but enough about my problems whats up

AC: i 

AC: do you think the trolls are actually able to message us from the future?

TG: what

TG: did someone say something funky or something

TG: which one was it was it the asshole in brown??

TG: look ive got the perfect counter to that guy just say charlie wants to have a word with him and hell leave faster than you can blink

AC: what? no. it was the purple one, tt.

TG: oh god

TG: look im just going to lay it out there she kind of lays it on pretty thick you know what im saying

AC: she knew my name.

TG: what

TG: oh well its not the first time shes pulled something like that out of thin air but i guess thats kinda weird

AC: she knew my name and wished me a happy birthday!!

AC: dave im a little worried they might actually have a reason to be mad at us

TG: beyond trolling us for the lulz you mean

AC: yeah

TG: (btw happy birthday)

AC: (thank you :33)

TG: so whats up beyond trolls

TG: i cant imagine theyd be waking you up just to troll you

TG: dont you keep your computers off at night or something like a sane person

AC: that i do, yes. 

AC: i couldnt sleep...

AC: so i was up looking up prison music online!

TG: why prison music

AC: *AC shrugs*

TG: cmmon girl you cant keep me hanging like that

TG: my hand is just hanging here waiting for a sick high five in return

TG: look at how sad my hand is having no high five to match it

TG: and look how sad it is that there is no grilled cheese sandwich resting there

TG: just waiting to be slid like the golden slider of cheesey american goodness it is right into my mouth

TG: fuck now im hungry

AC: where did that grilled cheese metaphor even come from anyways?

TG: mustve been someone hoarding cheese across the street or something

TG: smells like a cheese shop all up in here all of a sudden

TG: i wonder if sonics open this late

AC: *waits for TG to find out what hes looking for*

TG: oh sweet if we hurry i can make it before the midnight closing

TG: yes

AC: hell yes

TG: hell

AC: furricking

TG: YES

AC: X33

TG: bros up for a late night sonic snack down so im gonna bounce

TG: ill message ya when we get there

AC: kk! :33

-turntechGodhead [TG] stopped Pestering arsenicCataclysm [AC] at 12:40 A.M.- 

* * *

Argo's stomach grumbles.   
  
"Damn it, Dave," she frowned.  
  
Now SHE was hungry with all that talk of Sonics. Hrm... Well... Mind made up, Argo braves out into the house to find a midnight snack. Also, check on her mother's sleep status.   
  
If she's not home, Argo has free reign to cook something that's more extavagant than some chocolate pudding cups from the fridge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOFH. Pesterlogs. The ONE thing I was dreading doing with this entire story. The formatting. OOF. So much formatting.
> 
> THE logs are what's going to delay this. By a BIT. Hah. URGH. Okay, well. time to just stick to it best as i can haha...


	3. ACT 1: "Fire Hazard"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grilled Cheese Sandwiches and Grease Fires.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Kitchen Fire and the panic of putting it out.  
> More pesterlog Formatting.  
> Dave Rapping About Grilled Cheese.

**> Argo: Exit Room**  
  
Argo Lalonde exits her room and enters the hallway.

The window behind her shows a particular cluster of pine trees, and during the morning, when the sun rises, it shines a purr-ticularly bright light on the GARISH WIZARD PICTURE on the wall opposite her room.

Argo glares at this particular wizard picture. She's lukewarm towards the existence of wizards in general, but for SOME REASON (whoop whoop, sarcasm alert!) the COTTON CANDY PIXI DUST SWIRL of photoshop'd magic swirling around the image just makes it unbearable during the daytime. This picture isn't like the other wizard pictures, which were just random wizard wallpapers found on the internet and printed up on canvas, shitty JPG Artifacts and all.

Oh, no. Argo's mother was DRUNK when she ordered this and went the EXTRA MILE for this particular painting. It is a custom order, and its placement by the window was not an accident.

When the sunlight hits it JUST RIGHT the magic will GLITTER AND SPARKLE, due to it being made out of ground up glass dust of a MYRIAD ASSORTMENT OF COLORS.

This of course will shine a DISCO GLOBE EFFECT into Argo's room during the morning unless she keeps her bedroom door closed.

The rest of the painting is some gender neutral body wrapped up in purple wizard robes and wearing a CLOWNFISH MASK. This Strange Wizard wields a magic staff with a GLOWING PLANET hovering over the top. This "Planet" is but another custom feature. it is, in actuality, A FLAT SCREEN TABLET with a preloaded animation on it that cycles through depending on the time of day.

Right now, it shows a PURPLE PLANET covered in skyscrapers.

**> ARGO: Check Mothers room.**

Argo doesn't even have to peek. The bedroom door is wide open, revealing a made bed. Argo's mother is SOBER and AT WORK. She never makes her bed when drunk.

Argo passes several more of the previously mentioned wizard paintings- the passable ones and not so eye glare inducing.

**> ARGO: Descend to main level**

Argo pauses climbing down the stairs to send a glare at the GIANT ZAZERPAN STATUE her mother ALSO ORDERED WHEN DRUNK. It presently lies in MANY PIECES across the floor. Both Argo and her Mother were completely surprised when the UPS trucks showed up in swarm, delivering this statue in various pieces.

...The BASE never arrived, and thus the statue has yet to be completed. Not that Argo thinks her mother wants to complete it at this point. It's become a bit of a FAMILY IN-JOKE between the two of them that Zazerpan will NEVER FIND HIS FEET.

Argo proceeds into the kitchen- finding a note on the kitchen table, and already has an idea of what it'll say. Argo ignores it, and turns on the light. The FRIDGE hums with the promise of food, and Argo navigates around the Zazerpan Statue Parts towards it.

The Urge to cook something has grown largely, and Argo sets about making herself a grilled cheese sandwich- because Dave's talk of the things has wormed its way deep into her stomach-mind and the HUNGER for Cheesey Goodness is real.

While the Bread toasts in the frying pan, and butter begins to melt, Argo checks the note.

It reads:

DAUGHTER, IF YOU ARE READING THSI MOTE *NOTE THEN IT MEANS THAT SOMETHING ORGENT *PURGENT *URGENT SURFACE AT WORK AND I AM OUT WORKING RIGHT OW. *NOW. IF I AM NOT HOME BY DIME *MINE *FINE *NINE, FEEL FREE TO OPEN PRESENTS WITHOUT ME. --LOVE, UR MUM, ROX____

Just as Argo expected, it's one of her mother's STRESSED OUT NOTES. She only leaves a note with that many typos when she's in a hurry. Not only did she NOT cross out the misspelled words, but she's even not used her signature PINK PEN to write the message! Instead, it's written in what appears to be green crayon. Where did she even get a green crayon from?

Argo couldn't even remember the last time a crayon was in the house.  
  
**> ARGO: Fastforwards to food.**  
  
The timeline skips ahead to the completion of the grilled cheese, and Argo opens her BOOK MODUS and LEAFS to the page containing the Drawing Computer. Ear marking the corner, and the Computer is decaptchalogued into hand.  
  
It looks like Dave has made true on his promise to pester when he reached his destination.

-turntechGodhead [TG] began Pestering arsenicCataclysm [AC] at 12:44 A.M.-

TG: yo

TG: check it

TG: were here at sonics dont wanna drop it

TG: cause grilled cheeses are on the griddle

TG: and damn you can hear it sizzle

TG: that cheese and butter fizzle for chizzle

TG: last in line but definitely not least

TG: midnight grilled cheeses ready for this beast

TG: my hunger is rude man and my mouth is moist

TG: i be droolin just thinkin about chowin down

TG: cause were here and we just placed our order right on down

TG: gonna grab some golden sliders so choice and

TG: definitely made out of some choice texan pan

TG: (thats japanese for bread in case you didn't know)

TG: ("Oh, Snap!" the audience lets loose a bellow)

TG: credit cards be slidin, just as the spatula be slippin

TG: movin to flip that choice golden sandwich like

TG: a pancake on the griddle singing to a golden mike

TG: but we aint here for that kinda pan

TG: cake! no way dude we want that thick golden bread chopped up

TG: all sizzling and golden brown and smiling sunny side up

TG: damn, could go for some eggs now too

TG: maybe next we'll go hit up a target or two

TG: im already wearin the red shirt and the tan pan-ts

TG: might as well go shoppin for other stuff too

TG: grab our own sweet ingredients for cookin

TG: our own sandwiches in our new greased pans

TG: eggs and bacon damn son i pity the foo

TG: mister t aint got nothin on our cookin repitoree

TG: and... uh... george foremans gonna cackle with glee

TG: cause were gonna buy up a waffle grill

TG: cause breakfast aint sweeter without waffles hot off the presses

TG: and speaking of presses heres my midnight snack

TG: hot damn that is a beautiful sandwich

TG: excuse me while i have bro take a totally non ironic picture of me eating this thing because damn this thing is beautiful

\--turntechGodhead [TG] sent file "Dave_s_Heavenly_Sandwich.PNG"

Argo opened the attached photo- taken from the perspective of dave's BRO'S hands- and sees Dave biting down into a grilled cheese sandwich that looks just about as good as the one Argo had made. Damn, are those tears coming from behind those STILLER SHADES of his? Argo is pretty sure those are indeed tears of joy coming from Dave Strider's eyes.

Dave's Bro is a lot better at photography than Dave, but that's only because it's his job and he's been at it for atleast a decade longer. The entire Strider apartment,

Argo had it on good authority, was just one giant Red Room. Argo figured Dave was exaggerating at first, but no, she'd seen the photography frames and devices scattered across the various shots of Dave Strider's various IRONIC SELFIES.

Argo wouldn't be surprised if this particular picture didn't make it onto the "STRIDER BRO'S DAILY PHOTO-LOG" Website- it's just that well composed.

Argo manages to eat her sandwich while reading Dave's ramblings and sets about making another one. 

Alas, there isn't more to Dave's messages than the photo being sent- he's IDLE and likely stuffing his face with midnight grilled cheese sandwiches.

Argo can't argue with that point, and focuses on making more late night food. Because she was feeling rather hungry all of a sudden- hungry enough to eat a horse-sized stack of grilled cheese sandwiches.

Damn it, Dave.

**> ARGO: Make a horse-sized stack of Grilled Cheese sandwiches.**

Sure, why not? What's the worst that could happen.

**> WORST: HAPPEN.**

The predictable happens. Argo's making another sandwich when pesterchum rings an alert. And ANOTHER. And ANOTHER. AND ANOTHER.

Argo turns around in a huff to check the tablet- but in her rush, accidentally captchalogues the FryingPan- sandwich not included.

Spell it out with me now.

D. E. S. C...

**> Sandwich: Descend.**

The Sandwich lands on the open burner and catches on fire.

"CRAP IN A HAT!!!" Argo shouts, and goes to get some water to splash on the fire.

Predictably, this does not work out in the least. Argo climbs a rung up her ECHELADDER. 

_**Pipsqueak Kitten == > Tabby Flambe** _

**> OH GOD HOW CAN WATER BE SO FLAMMABLE!?**

A Grease Fire is started. Water does nothing to smother the flames, but instead causes things to spread.

Argo facepalms.

The correct solution is to smother the flames and not splash them.

**> Zazerpan: Lend a Hand.**

Argo runs to the living room to look for blankets and-- WHOOPS.

Zazerpan lends a hand- his disembodied RIGHT HAND infact, the one holding a crystal ball- has rolled somehow into Argo's path- tripping her into the couch.

Argo briefly laments her throbbing foot before grabing around for something to use... No, that Embroidered Pillow would almost certainly get her mother's ire raised to MURDEROUS LEVELS- family heirloom! Do Not Burn!!!

Argo scamper-limps upstairs to check the bathroom-- fresh out of towels. 

Argo checks the closet... C'mon c'mon...

Argo spends Fifteen Seconds staring at an empty closet.

"OH COME ON, MOM!" She shouts, and runs to her mother's bedroom on a SNEAKY SUSPICION...

Sure enough, piled behind the bed out of sight from the door is a stack of Towels and Blankets. Argo captchalogues everything SUFFICIENTLY GENERIC and replaceable, and rushes downstairs.

**> Argo: Put out fires.**

Yes, fires, plural. At some point the smoke reached a fire alarm and the sprinklers went off and.

Grease Fires are Grease Fires. The small stove top blaze has SPREAD to the curtains over the window and are making their way towards the fridge.

Argo starts smothering everything with reckless abandon, trying to put everything out as quickly as possible and- OH GOD HOW CAN BLANKETS AND TOWELS BE SO FLAMMABLE!?

Still, somehow, after a bit of work Argo succeeds in putting out the flames.

With a sigh of relief, despite the kitchen being a mess, Argo ignores the Narrative noting her ascending a rung on her Echeladder again.

_**Tabby Flambe == > Mothering Our Son Ash.** _

Argo checks her tablet for messages.

The narrative doesn't even bother with the pesterlog format this time because it's just arachnidsGambit saying the word "ping" nine times in a row, followed by an eight eyed winking emote.

Argo blocks them on principle, and turns towards Dave's messages.

TG: yo

TG: snack run completed

TG: my stomach is full

TG: not even going to bother going to target that place is never open this late

TG: walmart on the other hand is just rife for the fun times

\--arsenicCataclysm [AC] is IDLE!--

TG: ...argo hello?

TG: did something happen while i was chowng down or something

\--arsenicCataclysm [AC] is IDLE!--

TG: you still afk?

\--arsenicCataclysm [AC] is IDLE!--

TG: k ill wait then

AC: yes something happened :((

TG: oh hey youre back

TG: what happened

AC: i started a grease fire and nearly burnt my house down

TG: see this is exactly why sleep deprived teens should not be allowed anywhere near a kitchen

AC: dave XOO

TG: kidding kidding

TG: so did you handle it

TG: youre not in danger of dying because of smoke inhalation or anything right

AC: im fine, dave.

AC: i just burnt up a lot of blankets and towels though :((

AC: *AC's mom is going to kill her X(( *

TG: ouch

TG: but yeah this is why me and bro go out to stores for our food needs

TG: neither of us can cook worth a damn

AC: you're not helping, dave!!!

AC: im so screwed

AC: shes probably going to ground me and not let me open my presents and im never going to be let near a stove again and shell probably kick me off the internet for the rest of my life anndddddddd aaaaaaaaaa

AC: THIS IS THE WORST BIRTHDAY EFURRRR >XOO

AC: what do i do???????????????

TG: retreat to room

TG: lock door

TG: ????

TG: PROFIT.

AC: :|| DAVE!!!

TG: but seriously just

TG: i dunno maybe you should just write a note or somethaklfhd

AC: dave?? :??

TG: This is Dave's Bro, temporarily borrowing Dave's Phone.

TG: Your Mom isn't home right now, is she?

AC: no. shes at work.

TG: Of course.

TG: The fire was an accident, right?

AC: yeah...

AC: ...i accidentally captchalogued the frying pan while food was in it

TG: And how did that happen?

TG: Wait. No, I don't think I want to know.

TG: If I know your mother, she's just going to be happy you're alright.

TG: She'll be pissed as hell; but she'll be happy.

TG: I'll message her and let her know what happened and try to talk her down from anything serious.

AC: thanks daves bro

TG: Call me Dirk.

TG: Now then, I'd recommend you go to bed, but somehow I get the feeling you and the rest of us are going to have a very busy night ahead of us.

-turntechGodhead [TG] stopped Pestering arsenicCataclysm [AC] at 1:23 A.M.-

Dave starts pestering Argo again a moment later, but she doesn't feel like chatting right now. She replaces the frying pan into the sink and takes the tablet into her sylladex.

Argo feels absolutely terrible in that moment. What a sucky birthday so far, she thought as she limped back up to her room. "I really am Chat Noir, aren't I? Little miss bad luck incarnate..."  
  
It isn't until she's slammed the door behind her and started slipping to the floor, crying in a tired daze that she comprehends the statement that Dave's Bro and Her Mother know each other.  
  
And it is to that startling realization that she falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a fanventure driven by reader commands. Things... escalated quickly here due to reader input on this one. lol. I probably should've derailed the fire at the time, but... Oh well.  
> \---  
> You can see why I put off doing any upload of this fic for so long. The Pesterlog formatting is... *tedious* and It's making me break this story up into smaller chapters instead of larger chunks. >>;;; 
> 
> At any rate. There's a lot of pesterlogs in this fic. I *could* strip out the formatting and just copy-paste all the existing text but... Eh. I need to make sure things get updated and typocheck'd anyways. So I might as well bite down and do the hard work of all of it. This... may get tedious. Very tedious. Sorry for chapter notification email span to anyone who's got email alerts on this.


	4. ACT 1: "Dream a Little Dream."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream Self Shenanigans, and the most blatantly copy-pasted bunch of text in this entire rewrite so far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Murder Attempt.  
> Second Person narration shift.  
> Dream Self Shenanigans.  
> Time Shit's Hitting the Fan.  
> Pesterlogs.

**> Argo: Dream.**  
  
You are wide awake. You're in your room, and everything is purple...

Okay, that's not right. SOMETHING IS WRONG. And you don't just mean the lingering... no, OVERPOWERING scent of SMOKE, either.

**> ==>**

Smoke drifts in through the windows- both the one that is where your door should be, and the one that should be welded shut. You stand to your feet and find gravity lacking. 

You are now FLOATING.

You float over to your bed and then bounce lightly up to the window.

**> ==>**

In the distance you see a TOWER OF VIOLET, standing in stark contrast to the brilliant orange flames and the choking black smoke rising up from the city below.

The Flames move wildly, but in a single direction, as if the wind blows constantly in that single way.

You spread your wings and EXIT THE WINDOW.

**> ==>**

You are now free floating above the the BURNING CITY, and not just burning, but tumbling.

The Ground suddenly lurches away in the opposite direction of the flames, revealing that the city is SPINNING. 

You make haste towards the tower matching your own, hoping to meet the resident inside before something goes horribly wrong.

**> ==>**

You Enter the Tower.

**> ==>**

Lying on the ground, looking up terrified at the room's intruder is DAVE STRIDER. What is he doing here??

You look towards the INTRUDER, and see that he is a tall man wielding a sword.

His skin is a glistening white that is covered in just enough soot to reveal shell seams. His skin is made out of CARAPACE. A pair of beady eyes glance out from behind a pair of SPIKY ANIME SHADES. 

**> ==>**

You draw your CLAWS, and enter a STANCE from memories of another life, of another dream.

The PROSPITIAN INTRUDER growls, and the CRACKED RING on his finger flares up with power.

**> VWORP**

That is when ANOTHER DAVE appears, this one wearing not the dark violet robes of you and the Dave on the floor, but instead bright CHERRY and dark BLOOD red, There is a GEAR on his chest, broken previously due to some unknown DAMAGE.

He swings a sword, and the Intruder turns his back to you and the first Dave to block the new Dave's attack. 

"RUN!" New Dave yells, and his voice shocks you to action.

You grab the Dave in purple, and you EXIT back out the window.

**> ==>**

Looking back for just a heart beat, you see Dave wrestling a large TURN TABLE away from the PROSPITIAN INTRUDER, and then they both scratch at its surface in different directions.

There is a WARP, and then the other Dave is gone. The INTRUDER seems surprised by this turn of events, but then the MOON OF DERSE spins away out from under you a moment later, and you and Dave turn to watch the thing go.

It tumbles and tumbles and spins away towards a glowing BLUE AND WHITE ORB, leaving a trail of smoke behind it as it goes.

You turn back the way you've come, and see a distant ASTEROID RING. 

Dave nods, that looks safe.

You fly.

**> ==>**

You glance back once more, just in time to watch the remains of the MOON vanish against the blue orb with a flash of GREEN AND RED LIGHT. 

Who knows where it landed. You can only hope that the Intruder was still stuck there and that they had no way of escaping easily.

Oh well, it's not your problem any longer.

* * *

  
 **> MEANWHILE...**  
  
Hours in the past, Houston, Texas.  
  
The Night is quiet, it is not quite even TEN P.M. yet, and the city seems to hold its breath in anticipation.  
  
There is a flash of light high above the stars and then a streaking FIRE BALL strikes an apartment building.  
  
Alarms go off across the city.  
  
Not several minutes later...  
  
A Young Boy stands ontop of his apartment's rooftop alongside his brother- both watch as the building is quickly swarmed upon by the fire department to put the blaze out.  
  
At some point, they leave to get food- then return, the blaze extinguished.  
  
As they make their way back up the stairs to the ROOFTOP ApARTMENT< the boy texts on his phone to a dear friend. His brother swipes the phone as they enter and talks to the boy's friend for a few moments before returning the phone and starting a series of texts upon his own phone.  
  
The young boy returns to his room, and begins texting his friend anew. NO REPLY.  
  
He takes a moment to look out the window across the street towards the once burning building...  
  
Wait up. Hold on one just simple ticking second...  
  
There is someone climbing out of the ruins of the apartment building! Someone who is wearing his brother's shades and holding his sword!!  
  
There's a moment of double vision as the boy seems the same figure towering above him, as well as climbing out of the ruins looking much less covered in soot-- and the boy falls asleep.

* * *

**> ==>**

The Boy, of course, was DAVE STRIDER, who you now are, and are presently LOST AND CONFUSED as your friend ARGO drags your DREAMSELF ASS towards a random meteor. 

What just happened exactly?

Your DREAM IPHONE buzzes from your DREAM PANTS POCKET.

You're being pestered by another god-damned troll. Just WONDERFUL.

You'll wait to answer once you've gotten somewhere SAFE, like that large and looming METEOR with a random ass FROG TEMPLE hiding on it. 

**> Dave: Land Already**

You and Argo LAND at the Temple Entrance. Your dream phone continues to BUZZ.

Argo looks into the dark and looming entrance of the FROG TEMPLE, her green eyes blinking. Then, she looks to you with a look that asks a simple question.

What Now? 

**> Dave: Be Cool**

You proceed to lean against the stone wall of the Temple Entrance, and give a double pistols and a wink at Argo. Not that she can tell because of your shades, so you make a stereotypical "Cha-click" sound to accompany it.

Argo, naturally, finds this more funny than cool, and she laughs. You then go through several more cliche 'cool kid' poses, but sort of exaggerated.

Your phone continues to buzz but you just ignore it.

**> Dave: Fail to notice wings.**

Wings? You mean those giant orange feathery things cascading down your friend's back like a really awesome cape?

You ogle them with a small bit of jealousy. Is this some kind of dream thing going on? Could you, like, dream up a pair of extra arms or something?

Or maybe you could dream-silence your phone?? Wait, no, that's a thing you can do completely mundanely. 

**> Dave: Answer Troll **

\-- urianianhUntress [UU] began Trolling turntechGodhead [TG] @ ??:?? --

UU: my, this is a troUbling sitUation, isn't it?

UU: i can see that yoU're bUsy.

UU: and normally i woUldn't be able to talk to yoUr dream self, nor woUld I have a reason to...

UU: however, today has presented Us with a UniqUe sitUation to break the rules.

UU: that is to say, yoU dreamed Up a working phone! :U

UU: i woUld have sUspected some form of time travel shenanigans had i not had complete visUal access for this part of yoUr timeline.

UU: are yoU done playing aroUnd being silly yet?

UU: if i'd known yoU woUld take so long when i started trolling yoU i would have waited to start Until you actUally were aboUt to answer.

UU: shoUld i skip ahead?

TG: what

TG: the

TG: fuck

UU: langUage, please, mister strider! >:U

TG: no seriously what the fuck

TG: where am i why is argo standing here next to me and who the fuck just tried to kill me

UU: in order:

UU: the mediUm, a frog temple specifically.

UU: that is her dream self, and she, like yoU, has woken Up!

UU: that woUld be a spoiler Under different circUmstances, bUt i will endeavor to explain it to yoU.

UU: please do share this phone with argo, please. this concerns her as well.

TG: okay in order

TG: what the fuck is the medium, and i can see that, yes

TG: what does that even mean

TG: you say that as if she isn't already peering over my shoulder like a certain cat trying to get at a certain tweety bird

UU: all of this is tied together, mister strider.

UU: the mediUm is the playing field that yoU and yoUr fellow players are meant to ENTER, later today, when yoU begin playing a certain game.

TG: yoU mean.. damn it now youve got me doing that

UU: ^U^

TG: you mean that sburb game rezis been ranting about is behind all this

UU: that woUld be the one, yes.

TG: okay so what am i doing here then i havent even installed the game

UU: yoUr session is qUite.... Unorthodox, i will admit.

UU: bUt then again, oUrs was a little messy as well.

UU: yoU see, the mediUm exists separately from the game initialization process, bUt paradoxically is broUght into existence by it!

TG: that makes no sense but lets pretend it does for a minute

TG: please continue

UU: thank yoU.

UU: similarly paradoxically, yoUr fUtUre also exists at the same time as yoUr present on earth and in the mediUm.

UU: that prospitian intrUder and the other yoU came from that fUtUre.

UU: as the knight of time, yoU are this session's protector.

UU: yoU woUld be told of this normally Upon yoUr entry into the session, bUt as yoU can likely sUrmise by derse's Untimely destrUction, things have gone rather pear shaped! TnT

TG: so basically were screwed up because we won the scratched disk lottery

UU: something like that, yes.

UU: trUth be told, i, at least, am still trying to figUre out what went wrong in yoUr fUtUre to caUse this mess.

TG: k thanks

TG: but that moon thing that hit that orb thing

UU: skaia

TG: how the hell did the guy who tried to kill me wind up outside my house

UU: ...what?

TG: i only 'woke up' because i saw the guy twice, once outside my house and once above me.

UU: oh. oh no.

TG: yo whats up

TG: hello earth to miss hUntress?

TG: or medium i guess

TG: are you there??

UU: this explains yoUr extremely early entry compared to the others.

TG: what

UU: i'm sorry to tell yoU bUt yoU both need to wake Up very soon!

TG: okay so how do we do that

UU: yoU don't worry aboUt that, i will take care of it on my end.

UU: just make sure that yoU've done whatever yoU need to do in the temple. when the time comes yoU will wake Up.

TG: what do we need to do?

UU: sorry i have to go. TnT

TG: wait

\-- urianianhUntress [UU] stopped Trolling turntechGodhead [TG] @ ??:?? --

TG: fuck

**> Dave: investigate sudden shoulder pain.**

There ain't nothing to investigate. 

You shrug Argo off your back, because damn her fingers have been digging in awful tight into your shoulder. You think she might have been dream manifesting claws or something. You'd wonder what's with that, but you actually don't really care. You got better things to do that that. Better things like looking at her with a 'what the hell?' expression.

She shrugs and gives a 'u mad?' smile. Gosh darn that is the most adorawesome shrug you've ever seen. 

Then she swipes your dream shades off your face and absconds deeper into the temple. 

**> Dave: Oh. HELL. No.**

Your thoughts exactly.

You chase after your friend.

**> Dave: Catalog HIEROGLYPHS with PHONE **

Let it never be said that a STRIDER cannot MULTITASK. You're not so busy chasing Argo to not make use of your PHONE to catalogue the STRANGE RUNES. Every TEMPLE WALL is covered in RUNES! Very interesting RUNES, at that. Spirographs! Frogs!? What ever could it mean!

The AMATEUR PALEONTOLOGIST in you itches for the eventual translation. 

**> Argo: Investigate FROG TEMPLE**

You are now ARGO LALONDE, and investigation? That was the plan! You know DAVE likely would just chill out if you didn't do something to get him to follow.

You put on DAVE'S SHADES and pretend that you are CHAT NOIR.

**> Argo: ASCEND**

You hop on an elevator and ride it upwards, DAVE misses it by THAT MUCH, and thus is forced to wait for it to come back down.

You arrive in a large room with several LARGE MACHINES, one of which has a SCREEN locked onto what appears to be JADE'S DOG: BECQUEREL.

What ever could this possibly for??

**> Argo: Attempt to Captchalogue ECTOBIOLOGY EQUIPMENT**

You CANNOT CAPTCHALOGUE the Machinery! You don't have a FETCH MODUS on you. Maybe you could dream one up?

...Nope. A dream version of your BOOK MODUS fails to appear.

**> Argo: attempt to sabotage ECTOBIOLOGY EQUIPMENT**

First, your INNER PLAGG rises to the occasion and you CANNOT RESIST the urge to press the GIANT SHINY GREEN BUTTON.

At almost the exact same moment on screen, a FREAKY BLACK CAT appears with a FLASH OF GREEN LIGHT, startling BECQUEREL, and temporarily takes CENTER STAGE beneath the CROSSHAIRS. 

Instead of creating a GHOST SLIME IMPRINT of Jade's Dog, you instead get one of the FREAKY CAT.

The SLIME pulses and sparks with UNEARTHLY ENERGY, giving the following scene of a TRAGIC CAR ACCIDENT an even more intense feeling of TRAGEDY.

**> Argo: Behold Cataclysm**

You watch as your COUSIN, JADE, runs out into the street to pick up her still barely alive dog and to drag him out of traffic.

This is much too sad, so you summon a set of claws and--

**> Dave: Attempt to sabotage HIEROGLYPHS **

You are once again DAVE STRIDER.

What? Why would you do that for? That is completely irresponsi-

Argo yells out in anger and frustration, and something EXPLODES upstairs... upelevators? Upground??

What even is the proper term for that??

Regardless, something causes the ELEVATOR to come flying off of its invisible tracks and LODGING itself quite firmly into one of the WALLS.

You plant your hands to your cheeks and, taking advantage of your temporary lack of SHADES, make the same facial expression that Kevin kid from HOME ALONE did when mocking that one painting.

You let out a tiny, extended, 'noooo' that would serve as some kind of visual call back if this were a visual story.

**> Dave: Attempt to Captchalogue TRANSPORTALIZERS (under ELEVATOR)**

You look down the shaft to the FLOOR BELOW, and although you cannot see TOO MUCH, you catch a glint of something GOLD and PURPLE, illuminated by something GLOWING WHITE.

You figure that since this is a dream you might as well...

**> Dave: Check Argo for tail, claws.**

Argo takes that moment to FLY DOWN from above.

Holy SHIT, are those cat ears!?

You can't tell if she has a tail or not given her ANKLE LENGTH DRESS, but you'd be willing to bet dollars to donuts that she PROBABLY HAS A TAIL to match those ears. WOW. Dream body changes sure are bullshit. Wings AND cat ears? How lucky can a girl get?

When she lands, you make a move to swipe your shades back, but you hear SNIFFING, and you decide that maybe she needs that mask more than you do.

You offer a DISTACTION, by way of the things downstairs.

She wraps her arms around you from behind, and spreads her wings to carry you down a floor.

The back of your neck feels a little WET. You steadfastly ignore the continued sound of more distressed SNIFFLES.

**> ==>**

You land on the next floor. This room is MUCH LARGER than anything above. There are MORE STATUES than you can count, or even RECOGNIZE.

You and Argo presently stand at the edge of a small pit that the elevator would have SAT IN had it not just been vandalized by something above EXPLODING. There are two SMALL PADS on the floor. You wonder if you should CAPTCHALOGUE them or not, but you'll focus on that later.

Across the room, there is a STATUE of a LARGE, BULKY SKULL FACED MONSTER in a DASHING COAT. Sitting, almost like a taunt, between his legs is a LARGE BOX PLATFORM with a GLOWING WHITE SPIROGRAPH sitting on it.

The SPIROGRAPH briefly flickers RED.

There is nothing ominous about this what so ever.

**> Dave: Be Argo**

You stop being Dave just in time for him to return your attention to the platforms in the ELEVATOR PIT, and you fly down to investigate.

A few well placed kicks confirm that these things are much larger than they seem, and likely are BURIED UNDER THE FLOOR. 

You'd try the same trick you used against the GIANT SCREEN, but that would more than likely just DESTROY the devices.

Besides, the PURPLE ONE seems to be OFFLINE. Most likely, it was tied to something on that PURPLE MOON that got sent spiraling away to who knows where.

**> Dave: jump into SPIROGRAPH, and hope for the best.**

What? No. That's stupid. You don't know what this thing even does.

First, you'll do some experimentation.

You toss your DREAM PHONE into the SPIROGRAPH. The phone disappears and a SCREEN on the PALTFORM lights up with a random number sequence dating millions of years into the future.

The SPIROGRAPH flashes GREEN before returning to WHITE, and the time on the screen BLANKS OUT again.

You'd guess that this thing is likely some kind of TIME CAPSULE, but something seems a little WEIRD about it to be JUST a time capsule.

Admittedly you're a little tempted to just sort of... reach out and touch it. But you've got PLACES TO BE AND THINGS TO DO, and that just seems a little counter intuitive to those ends.

You return towards the ELEVATOR PIT, and wave down at Argo.

She waves back up at you.

**> Spider Troll: Do the Wakey Thing**

You cannot be the Spider Troll just yet, but ARANEA SERKET gladly obliges with her OLIVE BLOODED teammate's request and makes the two Derse Dreamers WAKE THE F8CK UP!!!!!!!!

**> ==>**

From the outside perspective of the narrative, Dave Strider and Argo Lalonde's DREAMSELVES fall to their knees like PUPPETS whose STRINGS have been CUT. Both land on the GOLDEN PLATFORM one after the other, and are TRANSPORTALIZED AWAY.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to just blatantly copy-paste this section of Dreamself shenanigans from the original textadventure. I couldn't think of a better way to showcase the waking/dreamself divide than leaving the original narrative in place here. 
> 
> So yeah- another change to the timeline: Callie's the Leo Troll! How fun! With Rose being involved on the Troll's side too... and Aranea's the spider troll who bugged Argo/Nepeta during cooking. Some twists abound be scattered about here.


	5. ACT 1: WAKE.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shenanigans happen, building up to a Game Entry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Sword Fight!!  
> Canonical Crow Murder By Sword Impalement.  
> A very literal Dis-Arming. (Somebody loses an arm)  
> Dismembered Puppet Remains.  
> Copious Jurassic Park references.  
> Dino Charge and Kyoryuger References. (Hey! Starting to see where this is going now?)

  
Argo Lalonde snaps awake, lying on the floor, having just awoken from the first dream she'd had in a long while that didn't involve fighting a skull monster.

She sniffed- feeling rather upset about cars and cats all of a sudden.  
  
Her tablet computer beeps- and she opens it out of her sylladex. There's... a flood of messages from both DAVE and the HUNTRESS TROLL with the FUNNY Us. Neither of these were worth the narrative's effort to pesterlog format the first time around and I've got nothing to work with here for this rewrite beyond the original note that it was just a very firm reminder that the dream was NOT A DREAM in the USUAL SENSE.

According to the troll, Argo ought to have a copy of SBURB somewhere in her birthday presents. She doesn't recognize the name on a surface level, but on a meta textual level shivers run down Argo's spine and she shudders. It was a gift from the ISLAND FIREND of the group, and everyone was meant to PLAY TOGETHER.

Argo checks the time. It is now 2:16 A.M., and now is the time to get DOWN TO BUSINESS and get DAVE INTO THE MEDIUM...

Whatever the heck THAT means.

**> Dave: how did you pester Argo about the game when you only just woke up?**

Future Dave shakes his head at the meta question his present (past!) self is asking as he observes his own filled out chatlog with Argo talking about things he didn't understand.

Yeah, no need to make a federal fucking issue out of these timeline issues right now. Shit's hitting the fan, let's pose like a team, clap our hands, and get ready for the wild timeline shenanigans.

**> Argo: Go to GameFAQs, find the Sburb guides, look for one by "RL".**

Argo looks for SBURB on GameFAQs... There isn't "RL" but there is the familiar tagline of "tentacleTherapist" having published the SOLE GUIDE on SBURB that exists.

Lovely.

Argo bookmarks the Gameguide for now and forwards the link to Dave before exiting her room. She gets the feeling he's going to need it more than her right now, but she skims the introductory stuff anyways as she hurries downstairs.

**> Argo: Locate Presents**

Argo enters her Mothers room, and locates the PILE OF SUSPICIOUS BOXES in the Closet. She captchalogues everything and makes a note of the codes as advised by the game guide.

  
In the CLOTHING PILE, Argo got: 

_2 (TWO) Matching set of FAKE CAT EARS and a CAT TAIL ON A BELT. (In Black. Because your Mom knows you love Chat Noir.)_   
_5 (FIVE) Random Shirts with printed icons on them. You don't got time for that right now._   
_1 (ONE) OVERSIZED GREEN JACKET. You promptly EQUIP THE JACKET, just because if feels right._   
_3 (THREE) pairs of SOCKS in ORANGE, GREEN, and PINK. ...Pink, Mom, really?_

In the BOX PILE, Argo got:

_1 (ONE) Chat Noir Cosplay Ring. (You put that sucker on in a heartbeat.)_   
_1 (ONE) set of RETRACTABLE TOY CLAW GLOVES. (CLAWS OUT!!)_   
_1 (ONE) LIGHT UP LADYBUG YOYO. (Hell. YES.)_   
_1 (ONE) SBURB BETA SERVER DISK. (1/2 Disks Get!)_   
_3 (THREE) BOXES OF CRAYOLA PAINT MIX. (Much Paint. Such Mess.)_   
_3 (THREE) BOXES OF FRUIT GUSHERS (Ewwww.)_   
_2 (TWO) Blank Drawing Notepads_   
_1 (ONE) Non School Issue GAMING LAPTOP._   
_1 (ONE) set of... fake arms?? (This box wasn't marked with a return address, or a note as to who it was from.)_

Argo has RUN OUT OF PRESENTS. 

There is NO SBURB CLIENT DISK. 

Argo sets her strife specibus to CLAWKIND and equips the toy claw gloves. She flips between the extended and retracted states with gleeful abandon for several moments.

**> Young Rouge(-Knight(?)), thy ally is in danger, but thou must not go in unprepared.**

Argo's non-existent cat ears twitch- (Wait! She equips the cat ears and cat tail belt! That feels better. Very more... SELF AWARE of a sort. Nyaa. :33 ) -with the confusion of whether she's a Rogue or a Knight in that moment but honestly she doesn't care about whatever the heck that means.

Dave's in trouble!

...Apparently.

Truthfully Argo was still a little-sleep hazy on why this was important but oh well, a TIME TRAVELING OUTSIDE OBERVER HAS GIVEN A COMMAND and she must comply!

She installs the SBURB Server Disk on the drawing tablet because we do NOT have time to start up a new Laptop fresh from OS ontop of installing a brand new game.

**> Argo: Gather things that would be useful for upgrading weapons.**

While SBURB is doing its thing, Argo dashes downstairs, and captchalogues a bunch of steak knives to combine with the claw gloves and this is a totally good idea because Argo is 100% in control of her fetch mo---

Damn it, she accidentally swipes up the frying pan again. What is it with the frying pans, girl??

Argo's run out of free cards in her sylladex because of the cards. No more captcha-cards for now.

* * *

  
The narrative switches to Dave.

And Dave is.... gazing at his iPhone that's showing a perfect copy of the log from his dreams. So... Was he dream texting? Sleep texting? Sleap walk-texting How does This Even Work!?

Dave looks out the window on a meta prompt.

THAT PERVERTED INTRUDER from the dream is down in the street below and-- Oh Really? He's fighting an alternate version of Dave. The Future Dave.

Well, kudos to for the distraction, Dave wishes his alternate self. (Argo sends him a link to some Game Guide but he ignores it. He's got a game to find before he can evens tart playing it.)

Dave arms himself with FENCING SWORDS into his SWORDKIND Specibus. Dave's Bro signed him up for fencing at the first expression of interest in it from Dave.

Jade and Argo had given him nothing but grief after finding out- claiming him to be a real life ADRIEN AGRESTE with that sword and- Bleh.

Dave had seen enough episodes to tell the writers weren't going to do anything constructive with the writing on that show. It was as hollow of a connection as could be made. They didn't even open up the series with the chronologically first episodes- who does that? It's a dumb move, if anyone were to ask Dave- which they hadn't.

Not since he went on a fifty five minute rant about the writing on one of the worst anime ever produced. (So bad he blocked the name from memory.)

Dave checks his face on that reminder- and finds his shades present to his relief.

**> Thou shalt soon be in peril, prepare thyself.**

Dave blinks as he hears a voice poking at his brain.

"Right, gotta find those game disks first," he mutters, before heading out. Last he saw them SBURB's disks were in the unplayed games pile right next to Bro's XBONE- you mean X-Box One.

Dave exits his room and makes his way across the hallway floor into the apartment's livign room.

Dave took a moment to appreciate his brother's clean-spick-and-span methodology of photography development. Nothing to trip over and everything exactly where it should be.

Dave fetches the SBURB CLIENT AND SERVER Disks from the PIle O' Games without hassle.

There's no need to make this sort of thing a federal fucking issue all the time.

* * *

**> Bro: Defend.**

\--temporalTwin [TT] began Pestering twangyGnostalgia [TG] [BLOCKED]--

TT: Seriously?

TT: Are things at work that bad right now that you've BLOCKED me?

TT: You know I can just bypass that block any time I want to, right?

TT: Fine.

TT: I guess you'll get this whenever you decide to Unblock me.

TT: ANYWAYS.... uh...

TT: Your daughter almost burnt down your house by accident.

TT: Just thought you should know.

TT: It was a total accident, she swears.

TT: ...This is the part where you rant and rave and go "oh deer sweet precious daughter of mine how could uuu??"

TT: Okay. What the hell is going on outside??

\-- temporalTwin [TT] Circumvented BLOCK! --

TT: Yo.

TT: Rox.

TT. Apparently that whole End of the World thing you were talking about is going on right outside my apartment.

TG: dirk this isnt the time for this right now

TT: Uh, yes, yes it is.

TT: There is literally a guy covered in soot fighting an alternate version of my little bro who I know damn well is safe and secure in his room right now.

TG: dirk i really dont have time for your jokes right now

\-- twangyGnostalgia [TG] BLOCKED temporalTwin [TT] --

TT: Damn it, Roxy! Would you just... listen...

TT: ...Sigh.

\--temporalTwin [TT] stopped Pestering twangyGnostalgia [TG] [BLOCKED]--

* * *

**> Dave: Ascend to the highest point of the building.**

Future Dave intercepts the command- grabbing the Prospitian Intruder and locking him in a headlock before TIME JUMPING into the past.

It is now SIX IN THE EVENING the previous day, and the sun beats down hot and heavy.

Dave smirks at the would be assassin, not that he can see it at this angle, and then pull him upwards and skywards by the neck towards the apartment rooftop.

God Tier Flight Powers ROCK.

They land- and Daves Skips ahead into the future, making it look like, to the outside perspective, that they just teleported from the street to the rooftop in the blink of an eye.

Also, Time Travel RULES.

Dave kicks the intruder into the air conditioning unit.

The Intruder's ring flares with energy and a fuse box can be heard making popping noises.

"Ah," Dave muttered, "I guess that's how the lights got burnt out."

Oh well, that was one mystery solved that didn't need solving.

  
**> Be Past Dave: Play on BRO's XBONE **

  
We're back to being Past Dave again- who sticks a SBURB dusk into the XBONE.

Predictably, the piece of shit machine jams the disk inside.

There was absolutely no way that you weren't going to lose one of these disks in a hilariously brutal fashion, just being honest here.

Dave leaves the SERVER DISK where it is, and retreates to his room to install the SBURB CLIENT onto his computer.

  
**> Future Dave: Stop yourself from playing on BRO'S XBOX ONE**

  
Future Dave doesn't even contemplate meddling with that gordion knot of a convoluted series of events. 

He's got more pressing matters- such as clashing blades in his rooftop duel with the Prospitian Intruder.

The Intruder manages to get a strike in on Dave's TIMETABLES when he's distracted with the stray thought. 

WHOOPS.

**> Vengeful Crow: Take Sburb Client**

You are now a CROW.

You are just a feather covered BRIDBRAIN with no intentions of harming anyone.

You're just chilling in the mid-afternoon sun when all of a sudden two GIANT ASSHOLES appear to disturb you and your fellow Crows from your rest.

**> Crows: ATTACK**

You peck away at both of these loosers heads with the mighty REVENGE.

That's when the TALL ROUND HEADED THING with the POINTY SHADES shows you his STABBS.

You look the smaller one in RED in his shade covered eyes and caw mournfully:

_'he killed me bro, he killed me with his sord... X^Y '_

**> Future Dave: Disarm**

Future Dave disarms the Prospitian Intruder while he's busy trying to get the crow off of his sword. The crow-impaled-sword-or-sword-impaled-crow goes flying away with the Intruder's RING ARM.

The Crow lands on one of the turntables tip down and the Ring FlARES and the arm, sword, crow, and the turntable all vanish without Future Dave or the Intruder.

  
**> Future Dave: boggle vacantly at these shenanigans.**

Dave and the now DEPOWERED INTRUDER boggle at the shenanigans that have transpired.

Dave remarked, simply: "Welp. There went our ride."

* * *

**> Dave: Be Argo.**

The Narrative returns to Argo who got distracted staring at the house security alarm- trying to figure out how the thing got caught in a damned testing reboot cycle out of nowhere and turn off the alarms that were blaring.

Argo continues to type in various codes to shut the thing down, and finally manages it.

Simultaneously, power cuts to the DIGITAL PLANET WIZARD PAINTING- and with a muted click, the frame hinges open to one side.

  
**> Young Rogue-Knight, investigate the PORTAL guarded by the WORLD-WIELDING WISEMAN.**

Argo doesn't pay the Exile any mind and returns to her room to retrieve her drawing tablet's power cord... and she passes by the Digi-wizard, finding it open.

"Oh, what the heck?" 

**> Investigate! Investigate!**

In! Ves! Ti! Gateeeeee!!!

The Inner Plagg wins out, and Argo pulls the painting open in the way it's inclined.

  
Behind it resides a ROW OF SHELVES. It appears the PIXI SUGAR PAINTING was actually the front door to a SECRET SAFE.

Argo wonders if her mother remembered that it was a safe or not.... But going by the contents, it seems she did, even if only in a drunken state.

Argo raids the safe to find:

  
_1 (ONE) Family picture frame. Hey! It's GRUNKLE JAKE! And... is that your MOM as a TEENAGER? Wow, she looks... kinda like you?? Huh. If anything she looks a bit more like DAVE'S MOTHER than your own... Also, there's a boy there that looks a LOT like Dave. Is this Dave's Bro? Is this how he knows your Mother??_

"Oh meow," Argo whispers, "is Dave my Brother??"

Argo files away that horrifying thought for later purr-meow-sal. Hey! A cat pun! A forced op-purr-tunity is an op-purr-tuna-ty regardless! Ooh! Yess! Tuna, add on the fish to the cat puns...

_1 (ONE) BARK JOURNAL. ...What the furrick is this? Some kind of journal containing the word BARK written over and over again._

_SEVERAL (About seven, you'd say) BLUE-GLASS ENCAPSUELD MUTANT CATS. ...Mom. Is there something you want to tell us? These look disturbingly like JASPERS._

Speaking of Jaspers, Argo hasn't seen him or Beatrice all evening. She wonders where they got off to.

_MULTIPLE (WTF) chunks of an EVIL PUPPET, sealed within EVIDENCE BAGS. You know it's an EVIL PUPPET because you can't find a pair of EYES anywhere in the safe._

...Argo leaves these be out of a healthy sense of self preservation.

_1 (ONE) FREDDY FAZBEAR'S SECURITY GUARD UNIFORM, also in an EVIDENCE BAG. There's a name tag attached to the Uniform. "D. STRIDER"? ...What? There's no way this didn't belong to DAVE'S BRO at some point. You don't want to know why it's covered in... blood stains? Or is that PIZZA SAUCE?_

Argo captchalogues the photo, journal, and the glass frozen kitten that happens to look a bit like Plagg, what with the giant anime chibi style head.

Predictably, this jettisons THREE STEAK KNIVES into the safe. This has the side effect of IMPALING some of the PUPPET CHUNKS. 

They make strangely metallic THUNK sounds upon impact.

...Argo closes the safe and vows to NEVER, EVER open it again.

**> Argo: Attempt to boot up SCHOOL COMPUTER, hold F12.**

Argo gazes at her school computer while fetching the A.C. ADAPTER, she considers booting the school laptop, but she knows what will happen.

_"Ah ah ah! You didn't say the magic word! Ah ah ah!"_

Yeah. There's no time for that tonight.

**> Dave: Peruse guide while waiting.**

Dave reviews the guide- tentacleTherapist's work. Bizarrely, the guide says it was published in 2009, which is impossible because SBURB BETA only came out this year, 2016.

Dave feels inclined to ignore its warnings about METEORS, but hey, nothing about this game has been temporally linear so far. Who is he to judge if someone went back in time to publish it in the past for the future use?

**> Future Dave: Wish you had brought at least FIVE (5) TIME TABLES, like a sensible person.**

We return to being FUTURE DAVE, presently doing his job of making the Prospitian Intruder COUNT SOME SHEEP.

As he waits for the one armed Carapacian to fall asleep, he laments the lack of TIME TABLES.

Oh, naturally, he had originally made a bunch of them. 

Then, he lost a bunch of them in REALLY CONTRIVED AND STUPID CIRCUMSTANCES. Really. Wow. So many Stupid Shenanigans. Half of the TIMELINE ISSUES came from your following REZI's advice to make FIVE FUCKING TIME TABLES and be a SENSIBLE TIME TRAVELER.

Damn it, Rezi. 

But he can't really blame her. She was just trying to help. He lost those time tables on his own EPIC FAILS at managing a stable time... line...

"Hey, Dude, can you just go unconscious already?" The Intruder refuses to fall asleep.

Why is he even bothering sparing this guy again? Oh. Right. So everyone doesn't get DOOMED. 

**> Future Dave: fastforwards to Future Future Dave after the Intruder is Subdued.**

We are now Future Dave, a little bit further in the future. Hes hiding inside his own damned bedroom closet while he waits for PAST HIM to ENTER THE GAME. He's sitting on the HOGTIED INTRUDER, and wow was that an exercise in futility, what with the guy MISSING AN ARM.

_'My own fault, really. No, really, my bad...'_

Okay, seriously, when is Argo going to get Past Dave into the game again?

Damn it, Knight of Time having to enter his own damned session twice in a row. Can't get any more humiliating than that. Wouldn't it just be FAN-FLIPPIN-TASTIC if he had to piggy back on EVERYONE'S ENTRY? 

**> Future Dave: Morn loss of crow-bro.**

Nothing to Mourn, really. He knows exactly where that Impaled Crow will wind up soon enough.

  
**> Dave: If you find any puppets, burn them.**

  
Dave, while browsing the GAMEFAQ, muses upon the existance of PUPPETS, and the desire to BURN THEM.

...Yeah there aren't any puppets around here. Bro likes blowing them up with fireworks around Fourth of July for some reason.

**> Dave: Find something to Prototype**

The GUIDE says that prototyping PRE ENTRY is an IMPORTANT THING that needs to be done.

  
Dave takes a moment to properly examine his room for prototyping fodder.

His bedroom displays a VARIETY OF INTERESTS, ost of which are DEAD or DEAD ADJACENT. A Vast majority of those DEAD THINGS are DINOSAUR RELATED, be they MODEL SKELETONS, DINOSAUR THEMED MOVIE POSTERS, or the occasional DINOSAUR THEMED ACTION FIGURE. All of this is because you one day wish to become a PALEONTOLOGIST.

Spreading off of that last point makes up the REST of his interests- COLLECTABLE TOYS. 

While Dave's a fan of VARIOUS SHOWS and MOVIES, he tends to mainly collect anything that is FIRMLY DINOSAUR RELATED. As Such, JURASSIC WORLD and POWER RANGERS DINO (SUPER)CHARGE have become instant favorites of his. 

The LEGO INDOMINUS REX and LEGO RAPTOR SQUAD sit proudly on your DESK. Getting just those figures was an EXPENSIVE INVESTMENT, but he thought they were the BEST LOOKING FIGURES that existed of those five. 

While he's not much of a Power Rangers Fan, some of these TRANSFORMING MECHA just make his HEART SING. To the point that he spent an EXTRAVAGANT amount of time last year hunting down all of the DINO CHARGERS and ROLEPLAY WEAPONS. Dave keeps the DINO SABER in his STRIFE SPECIBUS just for safe keeping. 

The DINO MORPHER just didn't fulfil it's NEEDS, however, and somehow REZI tracked down the JAPANESE VERSION online for his BIRTHDAY. Dave keep the GABUREVOLVER on proud display along side the INDOMINUS REX. 

Speaking of TRANFORMING MECHA, Dave's got a few random TRANSFORMER TOYS from the recent series that he likes completely non ironically and not just for the DINOBOT. (Although, Grimlock happened to be the real reason he even started collecting toys at all. Damn it, the Dinosaur Brand Loyalty is hard to beat.)

**> Argo: Resist urge to throw SCHOOL COMPUTER through WINDOW.**

Argo resists the urge, instead prying open the wall safe (It didn't lock), throwing the laptop inside, and vowing to firebomb everything inside of it at the first opportunity.

(Go away, creepy puppet remains!)

**> Argo: Press Enter.**

Argo checks SBURB, and finds it's finished installing.

[...What the fuck is this?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6P5wE_bNVb8)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I'm just as confused as you are by some of these shenanigans. It's been years since I've reviewed any of this. Good grief.


	6. End Of Act 1: ENTER.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave Enters SBURB; Houston Gets Derse'd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Meteoric Lunar Impact.  
> Bye Derse, Bye Houston.  
> DO NOT MICROWAVE CRUXITE EGGS PLEASE~!!!  
> Hitchhikers Guide Reference.

**> Argo+Dave: Connect, and Quickly!**

-arsenicCataclysm [AC] began Pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 1:54 A.M.-

AC: dave?

TG: yeah?

AC: why are you petting that dinosaur toy like its a cat? :OO

TG: oh shit

TG: so this blog walkthrough thing is really legit and you can see me doing this thing im doing right now

AC: ap-purr-ently! :33

TG: damn it

TG: also, did you change your text color?

AC: um... i don't think i did?

TG: nevermind why is the apartment shaking?

AC: im putting down a bunch of really big equipment, duh! XPP

TG: woah wait what are you doing with my bed

AC: there isn't enough room in your living room for the other two things

AC: and i had to make room in there first too, so i'm trying to be careful here

TG: wait what

TG: did you take something out of the tv room?

AC: umm... yeah?

TG: please dont say you tossed the xbox

AC: i... might have?

AC: why?? :??

TG: FUCK.

TG: that had my other sburb disk in it

AC: Why did you have your other sburb disk in the xbox!?

TG: because i wanted to see if it would run and the thing got jammed

TG: it was a moment of weakness okay

TG: what did you do with it??

AC: i threw it on the roof

TG: oh thank god

TG: just throw whatever other thing you have left to deploy up there

TG: please

AC: okay!

**> Dave: Mess with Cruxtruder.**

Dave goes to the roof to recover the XBONE and SBURB BETA. He captchalogues that as soon as he sees them, and then turns to the OTHER thing on the roof.

Argo has deployed what she and the guide are calling a CRUXTRUDER, here. According to the FAQ you open it first, and throw something into the KERNEL THING to PROTOTYPE IT??? Dave really isn't sure what all this purple text is getting at, really. Kind of Ling Winded and--

 **> Crow: Rematerializ**e

There's a flash of light as something RE-MATERIALIZES directly on top of the CRUXTRUDER'S TOP.

Due to some PROXIMITY DISPLACEMENT, the LID IS VAPORIZED, and the KERNELSPRITE is released directly into the object that just appeared.

**> Dave; BEHOLD**

Dave beholds, alright. Some IMPALED CROW just landed itself into the KERNELSPRITE and he's not quite sure what to make of the sight.

Dave just stands there for a second, staring at the newly formed sprite, a scratched TIME TABLE and a WILD ARM land on the rooftop- both smoking from the temporal displacement.

Well, there's that loop taken care of.

Dave captchalogues the TIME ARTIFACTS and then extrudes some CRUXITE DOWELS.

**> Various Timers: Countdown.**

AC: dave

TG: yes argo?

AC: why did you throw a dead crow into the kernel sprite?

TG: what makes you think i threw it in there

TG: damned thing jumped in like a...

TG: hell if i know

TG: a frightened weasel i guess

TG: but its a dead crow so that metaphor doesnt really work now does it

AC: no, it doesnt.

AC: also, youve got a four minute timer.

AC: 8OO

TG: welp time to

TG: *takes off shades just to put them on again*

AC: :??

TG: B) speed things up

AC: :DD YESSSS

 **Mom: Take note of Impending UNESTABLISHMENT**.

You cannot be ROXY LALONDE, she is currently TOO BUSY putting out a FIRE while her fellow SCIENTISTS deal with some TIME TRAVELING FIREMAN who brought a GIANT OVEN and SEVERAL EGG TIMERS with him.

You (the reader) instead take note of the clock in the background of the fancy gif image that someone would never actually make for this page. It's almost obscured by the shenanigans a certain IDIOTIC DUO are causing. 

You've got no idea where these green colored losers came from and you doubt the narrative will get time to let you figure it out because the UNESTABLISHMENT TIMER is listing about FIFTEEN MINUTES before something CATASTROPHIC happens.

Yup. Fifteen Minutes. Dang! Well, fifteen minutes and four seconds to be exact. But yeah, that's not a lot of time to focus on FELT shenanigans. Wait. Did I say Felt? Haha. you're not supposed to know that name. Nobody's supposed to know that name.

These guys shouldn't even be here how are they even here?

Maybe some INTERMISSION will cover these RANDOM ANTICS but that might not be for pages and pages and pages And PAGES MORE! (BOY HOWDY!)

Yeah. You've spent enough time staring at this page of MOM LALONDE throwing a bucket of water on a FIRE COVERED ECTOBIOLOGY MACHINE. 

I wonder what John's Doing?

**_> John Who?_ **

Oh. Wait. Yeah. That's right. He doesn't narratively exist in this particular instance of the Homestuck universe. Whoops. Forgot about that for a moment. Okay, um....

Let's see what Dave's Entry Item is?

  
**> Dave: Examine CRUXITE ITEM**

TG: what the fuck is this supposed to be

AC: some kind of eggy looking thing!

TG: who the fuck lays an egg this big

TG: besides dinosaurs i mean

TG: damn this things as big as my head almost

AC: it is pretty big! :OO

TG: ...so what do i do with it

AC: i dunno, microwave it i guess?

TG: sure why not

TG: ...holy shit did i just luck out

AC: :?? how so?

TG: so the lights are all burnt out in the main room but look!

TG: behold, a tiny miracle

TG: fuck its like chirstmas up in here, so phat its off the hook

AC: dave, time limit, remember?

TG: right right

TG: too long, rap later: Microwave is Working amost Miraculously

TG: even though im pretty sure its on the same circuit as the lights

AC: :O pawesomeeee

TG: lets fry us up some eggs

**> Dave: ENTER**

Dave sets the microwave timer for TWO MINUTES because that's just a bit shy of how much time is left on the CRUXTRUDER'S TIMER.

Microwave DINGS, egg cracks, and--- WOOOSH. Suddenly, the hot Texas Night Air is EVEN HOTTER. Dave looks out the window. The Hood's gone, and all that's left is thick smoke, a distant far away red hot glow near the ground and... Yeah. This ain't Houston anymore.

**> Dave; Be the Moon of Derse**

You are now the MOON OF DERSE, Minutes/Seconds/Hours in the past as you HURTLE TOWARDS SKAIA.

One of your DREAMER TOWERS breaks off in the heat of re-entry, and is absorbed by a smaller DEFENSE PORTAL mere moments before a LARGER ONE swalows the rest of you up WHOLE.

A moment later, you're hurtling through the hot texan air towards an apartment block.

If a MOON could think sentient thoughts, it would be thinking these thoughts.

"oh! hello, big looming thing coming up fast! you're huge! nice and friendly i'll bet. i should name you something friendly sounding. something bigish. ownd. ound. pound.... GROUND! Hello, Ground!!"

And then you crash land and obliterate an entire city that had just been hit by your lost dreamer's tower several hours ago.

**> Moon of Derse: Level Up**

Sadly, the Moon of Derse has been SLAIN by TEMPORAL CAUSALITY. 

But if it hadn't... So MANY boondollars you wouldn't even believe

**> Argo: Pester Dave.**

AC: so... uh...

TG: yea?

AC: im looking at news reports...

AC: and all of houston just went dark

AC: also

AC: reports from neighboring towns seem to say it's literally become dantes inferno

TG: well fuck

TG: how big was that meteor do you think

TG: like jupiter big or just only the size of houston big

TG: wait that's a fucking stupid question of course its houston big if it wiped out houston

AC: yeah from what im seeing the presidents declared a state of national emergency

TG: smart move i guess

TG: but how can one prepare for the meteopocalypsegeddon fallout?

TG: i mean its not like were playing fallout four or anything

TG: wait

TG: do meteors cause nuclear fallout because that would be fucking amazing

AC: i dunno. *AC shrugs*

TG: also, you're back to your old color now

AC: but i didnt change anything >m<

* * *

**END OF ACT 1.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't remember if this was the original "End of Act 1" break point or not, but I'm making it the End of Act 1 here, and I'll deal with the consequences further down the line LOL. Passing the buck off to future me yet again. Even though future me is probably tomorrow's me. Oh well.
> 
> ANYWAYS, YEAH. So that's Dave in the game, and SBURB is officially... VERY off the rails. 
> 
> After a days long editing and posting session I'll be taking a break for the evening. Posting for this should resume in the next few days, maybe delayed due to posting for other fics. We'll see what comes up first. LOL. But yeah- finishing this shouldn't take any longer than it takes me to rewrite things.


	7. INTERMISSION 1: Dawning Realizations.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get another couple of chapters! Whoo!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Time Loops.  
> Depression.  
> The somewhat creepy Implications of God Tiering and having long lifespans.

**> Future Dave: Alchemize a Replacement Turntable.**

  
While your PAST SELF is busy ignoring his entry into the LAND OF HEAT AND CLOCKWORK, you're busy alchemizing up a fresh TIME TABLE. At least thanks to the GRISTTORRENT APP. in your ISHADES, you're able to access the more exotic Grist types needed to make a new Time Table. 

You're so busy making one up that you don't realize that the ONE ARMED INTRUDER was faking being asleep the entire time and has stealthily sliped out of your shitty HOGTYING attempt until you've made the Time Table and the Intruder is jumping for it.

"Oh You've Gotta Be--!" You jump onto the Intruder as he scratches one of the time tables and WHOOPS you're both gone.

This is the slipperiest ONE ARMED ENEMY you've ever had the displeasure of knowing.

**> Past Rezi: Buy a Japanese DINO MORPHER for Dave's B-Day**

You are now one of the THREE OTHER GIRLS in your particular group of Players, several months in the past.

TODAY is her BIRTHDAY! But, since you've already indicated the NAME's first half, we might as well reveal it entirely.

What's her name?

**> REZI HARLEY**

Your name is TERESA "REZI" HARLEY, and you are presently searching ONLINE for a BIRTHDAY GIFT for your BEST PAL, TG, who you have it on good authority will name himself DAVE.

You're not in your room, so we can't examine your INTERESTS right now. Instead, you're out on THE BEACH, sitting with your HOLOGRAPHIC LAPTOP IN A LUNCHBOX- or a LUNCH TOP for short. 

As mentioned, you're looking for a gift for your friend, DAVE, whose birthday is TOMORROW.

You'd worry about getting it off on time, given that you're living on a DESERTED ISLAND, but you've got a solution for that.

A solution whose name is...

-gratingCheese [GC] began pestering [Error, type B: chumhandle not registered] [EB] @ ??:??-

GC: jooooooohhhhnnnn

GC: johhhhnn

GC: joooooooohhhhhnnnnnnnn

GC: com3 on 4lr34dy how long do3s 1t t4k3 to f1nd 4 toy gun 1n j4p4n? >:?

GC: JOHN 3GB3RT YOU R3PLY R1GHT TH1S M1NUT3!!!!

-HANDLE FOUND!-

-ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering gratingCheese [GC] @ 3:14 P.M.-

EB: geeze, terezi, do you know how hard it is to find the RIGHT japan when you give me a code word as muddled up in parallel worlds as "dinosaurgun" is?

GC: no. b3c4us3 1'm not th3 on3 w1th t1m3 tr4v3ly r3tconny pow3rs. >;]

EB: bluuuhhh

EB: why are you so much more of a pain as a human than you were as a troll??

GC: h4t3 you too, 3gd3rp!

EB: ....

EB: anyways i got the stupid toy gun after trying like fifteen different worlds.

EB: by the way i'll have you know that one of them was that world where i'm the honorary kyoryu grey because of it.

EB: you remember me telling you about that world, right?

GC: y3s, 1 r3m3mb3r th3 world wh3r3 you w34r th3 BL4ND3ST COLOR 3V4R. >XP

GC: wh4t of 1t?

EB: well that was the last world you sent me to with that one phrase!

GC: 4nyw4ys, you'v3 got th3 toy now r1ght?

EB: yes i've got your stupid checkov's toy gun of causality,

EB: and i'm wrapping it up in a BLUE colored paper instead of teal!

GC: john, 1 don't m1nd. 1t's b4s1c4lly 4 g1ft from both of us 4nyw4ys.

EB: yeah, but this dave doesn't know me.

EB: and that's just kind of sad, really.

EB: i don't exist in this new universe anymore.

EB: stupid retconny powers.

EB: everyone else got reset in some way or another but i didn't so...

EB: do i even belong here anymore?

GC: JOHN.

GC: WHO 1S TH3 ON3 WHO BROUGHT YOU B4CK FROM TH3 VO1D?

EB: ...you did.

GC: 3X4CTLY.

GC: 4ND 1F 1 S4Y YOU'R3 N33D3D, TH3N YOU'R3 N33D3D.

GC: so l3mm3 know wh3n you'r3 don3 wr4pp1ng 1t.

GC: 1 w4nn4 b3 th3r3 to s3nd 1t off.

GC: 1'll g1v3 you 4 cod3word to come v1s1t m3 r111ght 4bouuuutt...

GC: NOW.

EB: did you seriously just do the mindy thing just so that you'd have some company?

GC: why don't you com3 ov3r 4nd f1nd out? <3<

-gratingCheese [GC] stopped pestering ectoBiologist [EB] @ 3:20 P.M.-

EB: ...damn it, terezi.

-ectoBiologist [EB] stopped pestering gratingCheese [GC] @ 3:20 P.M.-

.

**> First, Be John. Second, R3M3MB3R.**

You are now briefly JOHN EGBERT, and while you deal with both The ABOVE PESTERLOG, and wrapping a present at the same time, you think back to a long long time ago in the past.

You were standing on a LILLYPAD platform, reaching out for a doorknob, when suddenly-

The sky broke open like shattered glass and all of reality around you is suddenly FADING OUT OF EXISTENCE.

You looked to Terezi, and she... grabs her pointed RED SHADES and throws them at you. You fumble and catch it just moments before she disappears along with the rest of your friends...

And then, you were left in a disturbingly familiar VOID.

You don't know how long were there before you tried finding SOMEWHERE ELSE to be. You tried using TEREZI'S OLD PASSWORDS, but those just wound up with you traveling to a whole bunch of DIFFERENT WORLDS. In one, you started making friends again, maybe finally you'd be able to move on.

You never told the Kyoryugers too much about the disaster that happened that sent you out into the multiverse like that.

Inevitably, you'd always return to the VOID, in hopes of finding your friends.

Years and years went by and you think you probably lived through so many different universes being born, that, when those COMPUTER SHADES Terezi had given you finally began to sing with their familiar sound, you almost didn't realize where it was coming from.

-gratingCheese [GC] began Pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] @ ??:??-

GC: 1R3M3MB3R

-gratingCheese [GC] stopped Pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] @ ??:??-

It was a single line, but it gave you so much hope.

And so, you focused on that line, and you ZAP'd to the one person who could explain what happened.

**> John: Realize creepy age gap between self and Terezi.**

Oh, yeah, like that wasn't the first thing you realized upon appearing in the familiar HARLEY MANOR PARLOR and saw a freaking six year old gazing up at you.

She was only six when she remembered that you existed, and subsequently called out to you in the void just to pull you back into this convoluted mess of a splinted timeline.

Six years old in human years and yet she had a full sixteen EARTH years fo memories from another Alternia-born life jam-packed into her skull, in addition to however many other lives she's lived in other timelines. 

Seers of Mind are weird like that, you guess.

And yet here you are, still probably WAY older than anyone else you've ever met, and you still feel like a massive creep around anyone- regardless of what age they're at or how they interact with you. Even if they're supposedly older than you, atleast physically in appearance.

God Tiers don't age much when they aren't keeping track of it and you've... done a bad job of keeping track. You think you're quite older than you have any right being.

This has been one of MANY SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES that you've been dealing with, and probably won't be resolved by the time you actually die. Not unless you run into someone who's had the same long lived lifespan you have. But what are the chances of that?

The KISMESIS thing between you and Terezi- or just from Rezi directed AT you, rather- is just her freaking trolling you while you both try to figure out what the hell went wrong. Which is a thing you're both still working on. 

You figure it's just a text based shouting at eachother designed to, for the most part, keep either of you from thinking long and hard about how screwed up everything is in this goddamned mess of a timeline. It's some minor semblance of pretending that what existed before continues to exist now. Even though it doesn't help at all most of the time. 

It just makes you feel uncomfortable as she reminds you of something you're constantly dealing with again and again and again and if this wasn't your Terezi's last minute plan to actually complete this damned SBURB game...

Honestly, you'd probably leave everything be and head out into the void. Rejoin the Kyoryugers on their hunt for the Tailor.

God, this whole thing is just so screwed up that you're pretty sure you're never going to actually have a proper relationship of any kind of actual intimacy at all, even with that potential 'what if' you caveat-ed above.

**> John: Worry about the possibility that Terezi is now kinda your sister.**

Yeah, already worried about endlessly and already added onto the pile of nonsense you're not going to give a crap about right now because there's more important stuff to worry about.

Ectobiology Wise, you're both 99% SURE that JADE is still the only human you're BLOOD RELATED TO in this clutch of players. REZI, DAVE, and ARGO all seem to share a common SLIME ORIGIN, given their multitude of shared facial features. The remaining 1% is in doubt because ECTOBIOLOGY was NOT PERFORMED in this session! Believe you, you, you've CHECKED!

As far as RELAITON BY LAW goes? You're not even going to care because, as previously mentioned in THE PESTERLOG, you're pretty sure you SHOULD NOT EXIST in this universe.

You're starting to feel depressed again when she drags you out of it with her MINDY TACTICS. 

You decide to be someone else for the time being, because god damn this whole situation sucks. 

**> Future Future Dave: Use time travel to inform Future Dave of how many more TIME TABLES he should make.**

You are now FUTURE DAVE once more, and instead of FUTURE FUTURE you coming to you, you've come to him along with the ONE ARMED INTRUDER.

"Yo," FUTURE FUTURE YOU says with a wave. "Gonna need to make about ten more of those tables, dude."

"GEE, THANKS," You growl through gritted teeth before forcing a JUMP back in time again by scratching at your one time table.

**> Dave: Investigate strange noises.**

Yeah, there's nothing to investigate, FUTURE YOU and the apparently now ONE ARMED PROSPITIAN have re-appeared on top of the ALCHEMITER. 

You... just raise your IPHONE and take a picture before they disappear into the time stream again.

You save the file name as: _bestselfieever.jpg_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, Rezi. Putting things in motion, are we?
> 
> John. Oh John. Yeah, this is the same John from Vamola!Kyoryuger. He's... yeah. Poor guy. He's been through a lot and Terezi's throwing this spade stuff at him trying to pretend that everything's normal when it's NOT. Nothing about this situation is Normal. John... the John that we saw in Vamola! was pretty good at hiding his depression, but he's got it bad. We're finally getting a glimpse at what his story was in all of that. 
> 
> As an aside, I have tweaked this section of John's narration a bit because past me was NOT as deft at handling the implications as I feel I am now, and it kinda made me uncomfortable even re-reading it. There's no real good way around this, though. John is stuck in this situation of having outlived his friends by a VERY long time. To make it clear, Terezi's the one trying to push things in an attempt to try and regain some semblance of her past life. 
> 
> Reincarnation and having all of those memories can be a BITCH! It's basically being Isekai'd into another version of yourself and you don't even get a new fantasy world to explore but the same old one.
> 
> There's actually a Meta Plot Point about this regarding reincarnations regaining past life memories and how this can cause trouble. Terezi's case is a milder case of what John's going through. The readers at the time caught on right off the bat and asked those prompts, though. 
> 
> And we get some Dave shenanigans. I'll be honest, this fanventure went hard on the time shenanigans simply because I could and I couldn't stop myself from getting ridiculous right off the bat.


	8. ACT 2: The Dance of a Thousand Paradoxes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Argo talks to CC.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Pet Death.  
> Mourning Depression.   
> Implied Character Death via Falling Derse Moon Impact.

Argo Lalonde had no idea where the Sburb Client Disk was, and so....

"Welp, time to go for a drastic measure," She said, opening Pesterchum and scrolling through the TROLLSLUM for an online name... "Ah! There's one."

-arsenicCataclysm [AC] began pestering cuttlefishCoronator [CC]-

AC: hey! time traveling troll person!

CC: wha da flouder??

AC: i need your help with something

CC: who da fuck are you and water you pesterin me for??

AC: just do me a favor and look a few minutes into my future so you can tell me where my sburb disk is!

CC: sbubble?? wat

CC: no seariously who da flounder are you!?

CC: how did you get my trolltag!?

AC: please tell me i didnt just pester you before you know who i am

CC: thatd be a waterfall idea.

CC: introduction time

CC: you just "pestered" one MEENAH PEIXES, former heiress o' alternia!!

CC: now youd beta tell me who you are before i stick you with my 2x3dent!!

AC: ummm... my name is... NEPETA!

CC: ...well okay "NEPETA" if that is your reel name.

CC: wats this about a Sbubble??

AC: SBURB.

AC: its a game!

CC: ... and youre askin me to...?

-cuttlefishCoronator [CC] Disconnected!-

AC: look one of you trolls said you can look into my future so please just look into my future already and-!

AC: uh...

-cuttlefishCoronater [CC] began Trolling arsenicCataclysm [AC]-

CC: whoops sorry boat that, catfish

CC: u got my past self surfin in tha wake of timeline causality

CC: so i culled that conversation by interuptin just now before you could wipe out and crash into tha sea of doomed timelines.

AC: so i screwed up then, didn't i?

CC: nah,

CC: blame causality for that.

CC: i mean, yah. u bassically jus set a whole buncha stuff into motion but that aint your faultline.

CC: anyfins, u wanted help findin' yer sgrub grubs or somfin?

AC: sburb disk.

CC: ya, that

CC: lemme jus cast out into the future for it...

CC: now, while im doin dat, lemme sing you a certain tuna

CC: sea, none of us knew who da heck you kiddos were until you went and messaged me just now

AC: oh my god did i seriously just set you trolls onto me and my friends just now??

CC: yup, you seariously did.

CC: so kudos for that

CC: captor was hella surprised by some kid reaching out to bug us from a completely different universe outside our game session

CC: not even in the medium yet and yer castin yer nets out wide

CC: wait, didnt i just do a fishing cast joke?

AC: yeah

CC: damn it

CC: anyways, reeling it all in now...

CC: looks like yer game grub disk thing is inside that one computer box you got for yer wrigglin day

CC: lame place to hide a game disk but whatevs

AC: i didn't even open the box after i unwraped it

AC: oh god i feel so stupid.

CC: dont worry yer fins over it

CC: who da heek hides part of game inside a computer box while leaving the otter half beached outside like a whale?

CC: shit that clams just plain ol counterintuitive

AC: somehow, i have the sneaking suspicion my mom was behind this.

CC: who knows

CC: anyanchors,

CC: u owe me now

CC: ill be collectin on dat favor later

CC: peace out, neps

-cuttlefishCoronater [CC] stopped Trolling arsenicCataclysm [AC]-

"I'm not even Time Aspect, and I'm already starting to hate time travel," Argo said, before opening the laptop box and searching for the disk...

No dice at first but...

"I wonder..."

She plugged in the laptop, and booted it up.

It goes through a normal ass loading screen and NOT the usual "First time boot set up" loading screen.

And then it drops to Desktop and Argo checks the disk tray icon... Yep. Something's in the CD tray.

Pop, clink, and whirr, out ejects the SBURB CLIENT CD.

Argo sighed. "What the fuck, Mom?"

She checked through the computer and... it seems her mother set up everything- dealing with all the boring stuff ahead of time. That's... a really thoughtful thing to do, really and... Oh doh! The Battery is already 100% charged. Of course it is.

That was way more effort than she needed to put into this.

Argo sniffs- eyes starting to tear up because the SBURB CLIENT is already installed and the icon is resting there next to PESTErCHUM and HEPHAESTUS WEB BROWSER. It might not be her preferred browser but... 

Oh. Geeze.

OH. GEEZE. PESTERCHUM. BETA TEST ENAMEL 4.0 RELEASE!??!

IT'S. SO. SHINY!!!! X33

**> Argo: Contact Jade.**

Argo knows Jade is likely asleep, like a SANE PERSON, but she fires off a few messages anyways just for when she wakes up and logs onto her computer to check her emails for anything school related. (She keeps up the habit even now to avoid falling further into depression town, population too many people including Jade.)

For a moment- Argo motions for the old handle, then sighs, and goes for the NEW ONE. Jade changed it after Bec Died, and didn't even set up a custom color for it yet.

-arsenicCataclysm [AC] began pestering goawayGetlost [GG] [USER OFFLINE]-

-Note: Messages will be Delivered when goawayGetlost [GG] is online next.-

AC: jade? i know you don't want to talk

AC: but this is important

AC: well, important when you wake up, i mean

AC: you need to install sburb and play it

AC: i know, i know, you don't want to play games :((

AC: but this is REALLY important

AC: like, really, really, really important.

AC: like, i'm not even using cat puns it's that important!

AC: and don't give me the whole 'i gotta go to school' thing, either!

AC: i know you're just going to skip again. :||

AC: and i get it, you're still upset about bec

AC: but please, jade, just, don't let the apathy win on this one.

AC: it's really complicated to explain when you're not online so just...

AC: i'm going to link you to this gamefaq i found

-arsenicCataclysim posted an [External Link to GameFaq.com]!-

AC: okay, i gotta go

AC: rezi just came online so please message either one of us when you're up okay?

-arsenicCataclysm [AC] stopped pestering goawayGetlost [GG] [USER OFFLINE]-

**> Dave: STRIFE**

Dave and his Bro suddenly find themselves engaged in a duel of the fates with a bunch of AMBER-COLORED, IMPALED-CROW-THEMED IMPS burst in through every hole in the building possible.

>Argo: Download preferred browser

She does so while maintaing a dual conversation with DAVE and REZI. She downloads her preferred web browser- the COMPLETE BULLSHIT CONTENT AGGREGATOR. Once Dave offhandedly mentioned it, she never looked back because who DOESN'T collect a bullshit amount of tabs in their day to day web browsing experience? 

People who don't multitask and switch between a hundred different project focuses at once, that's who.

Sure, Dave calls it a "cluttered mess" but how often does he use more than one tab at a time anyways?

It's like using only 10% of your brain, because Argo's using 90% to be think, "How Dare You Not Use More?"

(Also, Argo once caught Jade's ECHIDNA BROWSER open with atleast thirty tabs, which is an insane amount of tabs for that browser to even be handling without choking and crashing. So. Like. Nya??? What's the issue??)

-arsenicCataclysm [AC] began pestering gratingCheese [GC] @ 2:50 A.M.-

AC: *AC sneaks up on the sleepy head GC and POUNCES!*

GC: *GC deftly dodges and delivers a swift DRUBBING with her DRUBBING CANE!*

AC: *AC dodges that and slices through the cane with her sharpened claws!*

GC: *GC looks at her cane in dismay, sniffs, then tosses it aside with a shrug*

GC: *GC then withdraws a cake from her sylladex and says*

GC: h3y, 4rgo. h4ppy b1rthd4y!

AC: hey rezi! thanks :33

AC: now you know i gotta ask.

GC: y3s y3s, why 4m 1 up so 34rly for?

AC: XPP

GC: but y34h, 1 know 1m up w4444y 34rly,

GC: but 4 l1ttl3 b1rdy told m3 th4t you 4nd d4v3 w3r3 pl4y1ng sburb 4lr34dy w1thout m3!

AC: and who told you that hmmm????

AC: *AC's eyes narrow suspiciously*

\---

AC: did you tell rezi we were playing sburb?

TG: no

TG: fuck now shes bugging me now

AC: like you need that what with those imp things crawling around and causing trouble

TG: tell me about it. bros throwin a fit at the racket

TG: although he seems rather calm despite the multiple monsters invading our house right now

TG: its just the noise theyre making hes mad about

TG: who the fuck knew a crow prototyping would make the first monsters in the game super loud and annoying

TG: the guide said nothing about the noise

AC: no, it didnt

\---

GC: 3333hh... just 4 b1rd.

AC: dave is neck deep in birds right now fyi

AC: so its not him

GC: f11111111n3, 1t w4s som3on3 from th3 1sl4nd.

AC: :?? i thought you said we didnt know anyone else from the island

GC: you dont.

AC: then how the furrick did you know we were playing the game!?

GC: G33z3, wh4ts gott3n your p4nt13s 1n 4 tw1st ton1gnt?

AC: >:|| i am not going to dignify that with a response, rezi

GC: >:P wouldnt 3xp3ct 4nyth1ng 3ls3, 4rgo.

\---

AC: ...what the...?

TG: cawcawcawcaw

TG: cawcawcawcaw

AC: oh, fuck! dave an imp has your... phone... which..

TG: cawcawcawcaw

AC: means youre not even seeing this

TG: cawcawcawcawcawcawcawcaw

TG: cawcawcawcawcawcawcawcaw

AC: ... SHUT UP YOU STUPID BIRD!

TG: cawcawcawcaw theglowythingistalkingtome :V CA-CAW!!!

SIGH.

Argo uses the SBURB INTERFACE to rip the Mircowave off of Dave's kitchen counter and slam it into the CROWIMP that swiped Dave's iPhone when he wasn't looking.

Dave swipes the phone back along with the sudden windfall of grist.

TG: thanks these things are like fucking magpies

AC: youre welcome! ;33

TG: anyways rezi is being inscruitable??

TG: fucking hell what else is new

AC: bluh bluh, stupid seers!!

\---

GC: 4RGO? 4C? YOU W3NT S1L3NT ON ME. S3R1OUSLY, 4R3 YOU GO1NG TH4T F4R TO NOT D1GN1FY M3 W1TH 4 R3SPONS3?

GC: YOUR3 NOT M4D 4T M3 4R3 YOU?

AC: NO. SORRY, BUSY. DAVE IS FIGHTING CROWS

GC: :O

AC: HOW.

AC: EXPLAIN.

AC: NO BULLSHIT.

AC: NOW!!!!

GC: W3333LLL....

GC: WOULD YOU B3L13V3...

GC: 1 H4V3 SPOK3N W1TH 4 T1M3 TR4V3L1NG D4V3?

AC: :II

\---

AC: she says a future you is talking with her right now

TG: well fuck me with a-

TG: WOULD THESE FUCKING CROWS JUST GIVE IT A REST ALREADY!?

TG: fuck my ears with all this goddamned incessant crowing home about nothing important at all

TG: look argo

TG: at this point i aint even surprised if a future me is hopping around doing who knows what

TG: sorry in advance

AC: you're furgiven

\---

AC: maybe if the dave with you pesters me

GC: c4nt.

GC: s4ys 1td wr3ck th3 t1m3l1n3.

GC: 4lso, h3 s4ys to look outs1d3

Argo looks outside and sees....

  
Absolutely nothing that's changed from the last time she's stood on her bed and looked out her window.

  
>Unsurprising Development; Detonate Laboratory.

It's less of a detonation and more of a CELESTIAL STRIKE FROM ABOVE by a WAYWARD PIECE OF DERSE.

Man, that unexplained CHAIN BREAK sure is giving us a lot of mileage when it comes to UNEXPLAINED EXPLOSIONS, isn't it?

Needless to say, this UNSURPRISING DEVELOPMENT comes with some real GENUINE DISTRESS.

"Wha..."

Argo stares on, too shell shocked with GENUINE DISTRESS to even figure out what the hell just happened.

\---

>(TE)REZI: Go check out the FROG TEMPLE.

You are now REZI HARLEY, of the PRESENT DAY... that is to say, PRESENT NIGHT. Due to TIME ZONE SHENANIGANS, it is still the DAY BEFORE your friend's BIRTHDAY here on HELLMURDER ISLAND, despite it being WELL PAST MIDNIGHT over there.

That isn't is name here in this timeline, but that's what it used to be called in ANOTHER INSTANCE and you LIKE THE NAME.

You don't really need to CHECK OUT any parts of the temple, given that you've been LIVING HERE for the last few months! There's nothing wrong with your REAL HOUSE, but the LOTUS BLOSSOM TIME CAPSULE has had its TIME, and something is set to emerge SOON. You'd like to see what it is before you ENTER THE GAME.

So, you climb down the ROPE LADDER, past the BROKEN ELEVATOR that's WEDGED IN THE WALL, and then exit onto the LANDING next to the ELEVATOR PIT. 

There were once TWO Transportalizers inside the pit, but they stopped working a LONG TIME AGO, IN A SESSION FAR FAR AWAY.

You giggle at your own HUMAN CULTURE BASED PUN before you leer up at the BROKEN STATUE of a CERTAIN VILLAIN and sit down in front of the TIME CAPSULE. You're quite sure that there weer some humorous SHENANIGANS that lead to the destruction of the statues, but you'll be damned if you can figure it out.

You boot up your LAPTOP and wait. You'll begin connecting with ARGO in a few minutes and get her into the GAME.

>Rezi: install SBURB

Already Done. You had JOHN swipe a COPY for your own usage years ago. It's been sitting ready to play ever since. 

SBURB almost wasn't even a thing, what with the DAMAGED WALLS and MISSING CODE- but then when your ADOPTIVE GRANDFATHER was exploring the ruins, an IPHONE appeared from within the LOTUS TIME CAPSULE, containing pictures of the MISSING CODE. It's like they KNEW what was going to happen and prepared for it accordingly.

>Rezi: Pester Argo and Dave

You start doing that. While you do so, JOHN returns with a ZAP. He doesn't say anything beyond a wave hello, and he just sits down nearby, clearly still in a FUNK. Damn it, between him and JADE, you're neck deep in DEPRESSED EGBERTS.

...You make a slip up and refer to Argo by her new name despite the fact that you SHOULD NOT KNOW IT YET. Damn, that's a sloppy mistake.

While you're busy fussing with that, another JOHN appears, knocks the first JOHN over the head, and ZAPS both of them away mere moments before the LOTUS BLOSSOM OPENS UP to reveal...!!

"Fucking hell." Another goddamned Future Dave. "You haven't even entered yet, have you?" you just flash him a toothy grin. It's less intimidating as a human, but it's still distressing enough to the boy in DECADENT RED.

Well, at least you've got an excuse to tell Argo now.

You tell him you were just about to get "AC" in, and he supplies the excuse you've needed, "Oh, this is the part where I tell you Argo's name, isn't it?"

G4M3 4ND PO1NT.

\---

**> Argo: Snap Out Of It!**

Argo snaps out of her funk when she sees an ACTUAL FUCKING METEOR swooping across the sky in the distance

No time to be lollygagging around now- she decides, eyes narrowing in HELLBENT DETERMINATION. Her mother might have survived that if she evacuated everyone in time. Argo instead has to focus on GETTING INTO THE GAME RIGHT FREAKING NOW!!!

**> Argo: Connect.**

Argo connects SBURB to Rezi's SERVER, and... Not much happens beyond another repeat of the loading screen. Come ONNNN, SBURB!!!

Rezi pesters her warning that she's about to start redecorating in the living room, but it's not worth the effort of the pesterlog in TWO versions of this story so. That's all you get.

Meanwhile, Argo focuses on building up Dave's appartment while Rezi starts working on her house.

Dave's fight with the imps has increasted the GRIST CACHE enough to select a whole section of the apartment and copy-paste it upwards a level.

CONGRATS! Argo leveled up to "Archetecture Cat-Stack-Slacker!"

What a silly achievement.

Still, it gives Dave and his Bro enough room to flex their muscles and get away from the CROWIMPS.

...Strangely, the lights in the new COPIED KITCHEN are working while the originals are burnt out. What the hell, SBURB?

Then there's a sudden CRACK, and a crying roar of water like a water fountain in the kitchen.

Argo investigates and finds that Rezi has torn out the fucking KITCHEN SINK for some unfathomable reason, leaving it lying awkwardly on the floor. GREAT. As if the kitchen wasn't defiled enough to--

Wait.

Is there something under the sink?

"...Ja... Jaspers??"

* * *

**> Rezi: How Could You Kill such an Innocent Creature!!**

  
You grit your teeth as Future Dave rants and rails on you for HITTING THE CAT when he specifically said AVOID HITTING THE CAT like he didn't know perfectly well that was going to be Argo's Pre-Entry Prototyping item.

It wasn't your fault anyways. Future Dave had distracted you with his sudden shout of "DON'T HIT THE FUCKING CAT!"

You'd be tempted to STAB HIM if you had your CANEKIND Specibus on hand. Just to shut him up about the fucking cat for a few minutes.

**> REZI: Get the SBURB CLIENT running and PESTER JADE.**

Nah. You know that you don't need to enter for another few HOURS thanks to John. Dave and Argo both had to have super early entries for REASONS. Besides, Jade is FAST ASLEEP right now. Like a SANE PERSON.

**> REZI and FUTURE DAVE: Return to REZI's house.**

Future Dave ignores Rezi's suggestion to return to her home now that you've exited the time capsule because he's got REASONS.

So, Rezi goes ahead, and Dave readies his sword.

"C'mon, any second now." He mutters. "Fucker's going to jump out like a goddamned FNAF game jump scare."

Any minute now.

...Any second now....

C'mon.

Cooooommeeeooonnnn....

Any. Second....

Rezi is gone for a grand total of six minutes and twelve seconds before the BLOSSOM BLOOMS and a certain PROTOTYPED INTRUDER EMERGES from the time capsule.

He's only two times prototyped this time- with only Dave and Argo's entry prototypings- the Impaled Sword in his chest- Dave's Bro's ACTUAL Sword in hand, crow wings, and a cat head...

No tail, thank god.

The Narrative slips back into third person to more easily copy the action sequence text without heavy editing because HOO do we not have time for THAT tonight.

**>[[S] STRIFE!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbFzz5MpAI0)**

You engage in a round of TIME TRAVELING STRIFE, bouncing across this room across SEVERAL MILLENNIA while clashing SWORDS.

You're giving this PROTOTYPED INTRUDER the biggest BEATDOWN you can.

Eventually, you jump to a point where the LORD ENGLISH STATUE is intact, but not for long. 

You kick the PROTOTYPED INTRUDER between the legs, stunning him long enough for you to CUT THE STATUE in half and DROP IT LIKE ITS HOT ontop of the CARAPACIAN.

He uses his Ring to FIRE OFF SOME KIND OF ATTACK, but it's not enough. A LARGE CHUNK OF STONE hits the ring and BREAKS OFF ONE OF THE ORBS!

The PROTOTYPED INTRUDER Loses the CROW WINGS and SECOND SWORD.

He ABSCONDS with CAT LIKE AGILITY towards one of the TRANSPORTALIZER PADS.

Of course it's the freaking DERSE PAD.

You follow suit and wind up on DERSE'S MOON, with both DREAM TOWERS INTACT.

The INTRUDER leaps off towards the CHAIN. You give PURSUIT.

He uses his DAMAGED RING's 1X PROTOTYPING POWER to gather a burst of DARK ENERGY which he throws at the GROUND. 

It's a CATACLYSM ATTACK, and something EXPLODES, catching on fire and delaying your chase momentarily. 

You time travel back a few minutes to resume the CHASE.

This continues for several minutes- the INTRUDER throwing BAD LUCK and DECAY everywhere and generally RUNNING AWAY while you chase after.

You don't dare use your sword against him until you can neutralize that RING.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of stuff happening this 'chapter'. 
> 
> Sorry, Jaspers, You're still prototyping fodder this timeline. :(
> 
> Jade's not handling things well either, sorry, Jade. 
> 
> Man... past me was REALLY waving the "I'm depressed" flags hard and didn't even realize it. 2016 was a bad start to a bad bunch of years in that regard, wasn't it? There's projecting onto your characters and then there's PROJECTING. Good Grief. 
> 
> What you're getting in this fic is past me's sense of reality clashing with present me's attempts to fix things. I was not letting up on these poor kids here. Good grief. Really needed to see a therapist sooner, past me. 
> 
> I suppose that's also another reason I didn't post this sooner. I think I probably knew I was in a bad state writing this. Oof. Poor past me.


	9. ACT 2: Prototyping.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things continue to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> First Guardian Shenanigans.  
> Corpse Stealing.  
> Alchemy Session.  
> Time Shenanigans.  
> First/Second Perspective shifting.

**> Young Rouge-Knight, there is no time to grieve, throw your beast into the Kernel, quickly!**

Kernel??

Argo looks away to try and find the machine for the---

**FRRRZZRRRRRTTTZZAAAPPPPZZ!!**

A freaky cat appears in a flash of GREEN LIGHT.

"OH. FUCK!!"

Before Argo can do anything, the cat that almost certainly murdered Becquerel and may or may not have had anything to do with jasper's death naps Jaspers by the collar and 

_**FRRRZZRRRRRTTTZZAAAPPPPZZ!!** _

\--- Gone.

Gone with the same green freaky lightshow.

Argo stares on for several moments, pondering what just happened when the house shudders as the CRUXTRUDER is placed next to the ALCHEMITER.

Argo heads over and stares at it.

Jaspers was the obvious prototyping option, but now... 

Oh Geeze.

OH. GEEZE.

Argo breathes in deeply, not liking CAGEY CATS with FREAKY POWERS that STEAL BODIES AND--- Argo probably really shouldn't run up to her run and grab the Plagg Plush for prototyping.

She instead looks through the Book Modus, and finds that one encapsulated cat that does look like Plagg instead.

...Screw it. Close enough and hopefully far enough away to NOT trigger CATACLYSMS.

Argo doesn't want to FIGHT any cat more than she wants to fight anything, but if it had to be ANYTHING... maybe a plain ordinary cat would nerf things??

It's a vain, slim hope.

Argo throws the glass cat at the lid.

The Lid pops off from impact as the glass around the kitty breaks and then the Kernel Sprite emerges and- FWASH!

...

**> PLAGGSPRITE: EXIST**

...Argo sighed, "I might as well have used the plagg plush."

Plagg's cheesy grin stares back at her from the orange hued sprite.

Cataclysmic Powers are a go.

**> FUTURE DAVE: Curse Argo's Prototyping Choice.**

Obviously, the Future Daves are in no position to narrate-- given one of them has made it BACK to Derse's Moon in record time. Good Grief. We'll focus on this fight for the moment.

The Prototyped Intruder sends a dark claw full of energy against the chain connecting Derse to its moon and it RUSTS OVER before dissolving away.

Derse's moon tumbles away, and Dave swears- not yet knowing what happened, curses Argo choosing the Plagg Plush.

* * *

**> Argo: examine entry item**

...They're Ladybug Earrings.

"Well, atleast I know what to do with these," She sighs, putting in the earrings, and calling out, "Tikki, Spots On!"

The Earrings break, and the world transforms. The KERNEL SPRITE splits into Plaggsprite and two Kernels- that fly off, tearing holes through the ceiling as they take off towards Derse and Prospit.

Blinding beams of sunlight pierce through the holes and windows.

"Well... I guess I'm in now," Argo mutters, and then sets about alchemizing her sylladex items.

Rezi's deploying things and setting up and this all feels so god-damned familiar, Argo thinks as she slides a card into a jumper block on the Alchimiter.

Dave's entry alone is the standout entry but there's more to it than that. IMPS are inbound.

Argo upgrades her toy claw gloves with the steak knives, making STEAKSHREDDER GAUNTLETS. 

_**SNIKT! SHINK! SNIKT! SHINK! In! Out! In! Out!** _

Argo takes a deep breath- feeling like another piece of her soul is settled back into place.

They've been through this before, haven't they?

She eyes the Echeladder- Economic Cat Wrangler- and... wait, how is she viewing this? It flickers from sight before she can process.

Sburb... Something's WRONG.

All of this is wrong and- Argo takes out her sneaking suspicions on a suspiciously sneaky shadow of an IMP hiding behind a Zazerpan statue piece.

With all the expertise of another life's lifetime hunting skills, Argo turn around and impale a CATCROWIMP with your CLAWS.

_**POOF! +5 Build Grist! +5 Sugar Grist!** _

Something is very, very wrong.

Still, Argo feels a feral grin starting to form... Maybe if she's lucky that freaky cat will show itself again and she can get revenge, for Becquerel atleast, if not Jaspers.

**> Future Dave: Chase Intruder into past Dream Argo's Bedroom.**

Why the fuck would you do that for?? You're trying to keep her ALIVE for crying out loud!

You decide to take a risk, and time travel back in time and head to ARGO'S ROOM.

She's ASLEEP, dealing with NIGHT TERRORS, but you're looking for something specific. 

Ah- and there it is!

You break a leg off of the DREAM DESK, and turn it into a BAT.

Then, you move to where you think the INTRUDER will be, wind up for the pitch, and then travel forwards back to the future-ish-past.

As expected, the INTRUDER is caught off guard both by your sudden appearance along with the incoming swing.

_**"BATTER UP!!"** _

You smash the PROTOTYPING RING with the bat- and the PROTOTYPED INTRUDER is reduced to a PROSPITIAN INTRUDER.

This does not make him any more angry, especially as the SECOND ORB goes flying away into the BLACK due to the Moon's FORWARDS MOMENTUM. The PROTOTYPING RING is now quite visibly CRACKED, and he tries to use his CATACLYSM ATTACK again.

This has the unintended effect of WARPING him somewhere else.

Damn it, and you think you know exactly where he is, too.

>Future Dave: head to Dream Room.

You Time Travel into your Dream Room at just the RIGHT MOMENT- interrupting the INTRUDER'S Assassination Attempt of your and Argo's DREAM SELVES.

You do some things we've already seen, and then time travel back a few minutes, descend the tower, and brace for the inevitable impact. Wait. No, that's stupid. You skip a few seconds, and watch as the Moon goes crashing straight into Skaia.

When the DREAM TOWER breaks off, you follow it through the DEFENSE PORTAL and become PAST FUTURE YOU who DID SOME THINGS we already saw.

Boy, time travel can be confusing!

**> Dave+Bro: LEVEL UP!**

Pose as a Team! Shit Just Got Real!

Dave and his Bro DEFEATED THE IMPS and Gained a LOT OF GRIST.

Dave personally skipped atleast ten rungs on his echeladder, from the bottom Rung of Sizzling Cheese to the vaulted rank of HOT POTATO HOT POTATO!

**> Argo: (Fail To) Examine Newly Materialized Terrain**

Argo winces. Hard to examine everything with how bright it is.

She pesters Dave for the Captcha code for his shades and we skip the pesterlog because it's not worth it.

First, Argo gathers grist from some fallen enemies. Then, she whips them up and owns them LIKE A PAWSS. 

The Cat-Imps are in awe of the sheer Aeseomeness. Plaggsprite just sniggers. Well what does he know anyways?

**> Rezi: BU1LD**

You start doing that too... along with some... paint work. Sure, you're wasting grist on PAINT APPLICATIONS, but hey, you wouldn't be you if you didn't make the house look as PRETTY AS POSSIBLE.

You take the moment to examine the TERRAIN around Argo's House.

BRIGHT LIGHT and TOO MANY TREES. 

That's all there is to say on the matter of the LAND OF LIGHT AND FORESTS.

**> Rezi: Tell ARGO you accidentally killed JASPERS.**

You... will do that later. Once she calms down.

She looks pretty mad right now. Killing those Imps.

Yeeah. 

You'll just try to avoid hitting any more cats that aren't IMPS.

**> FUTURE DAVE: Remember the number on the LOTUS TIME CAPSULE's countdown right after the PROTOTYPED INTRUDER EMERGED.**

You- what? Oh, right, something else is going to emerge, isn't it? You don't think it's important to YOU, though, considering it was a few hundred years in the future. Unless it's you. 

You make note to remember the date and time just in case it is a FUTURE YOU inside, so you know exactly how far to GO BACK BY just incase that is a thing that needs to happen...

That is a thing that is going to happen now, isn't it?

Presently, you are of course, the FUTURE DAVE that entered the session with PAST YOU and are currently dueling with the ONE ARMED INTRUDER across time and your apartment across various points of time. 

At one point you're several floors up, others, you're falling through air, and then you're hitting the floor rolling.

You don't know what would happen if you fell into the Land of HEAT AND CLOCKWORK'S CORE during this time traveling kerfuffle.

**> Argo: Strife and Seek.**

Argo searches her house, casually murdering Crowimps while searching a rapidly growing house for BEATRICE. 

Unfortunately, she's got the feeling that the poor kitty too was taken by that FREAKY CAT.

* * *

**> DAVE: If you get the chance, ALCHEMIZE.**

Dave takes a break in the Imp Fighting to merge his phone with his shades, making ISHADES. He also upgrades the toy dino saver with a REAL SWORD to make a LEGIT AS FUCK GABURICALIBER!

Solid Steel, Dinosaur as FUCK, and also possibly compatible with REAL DINO CHARGERS/ZYUDENCHI??

He'll have to experiment later when he has more to play around with.

  
**> Combine LEGO INDOMINUS REX with SHIRT**

_You get the LEGO JURASSIC WORLD T-SHIRT. Holy shit this is pretty rad._

**> Combine DINOSAUR SKELETON MODELS with SWORD**

_You got the FOSSILIZER! It's a SWORD made out of DINOSAUR BONE. This thing is fragile as anything._

**> Combine RAPTOR SQUAD with CLOTHES**

_You got the OWEN GRADY HALLOWEEN COSTUME. You're not surprised at all by this._

**> Combine Owen Grady Costume W/ WALKING WITH DINOSAURS MOVIE POSTER**

_[You Got a RAPTOR SQUAD POSTER!](https://askneostuff.tumblr.com/post/121374169988/i-saw-jurassic-world-yesterday-and-it-was-just) _

_BEHOLD. THE RAPTOR SQUAD._

_(You wonder how this piece of fanart got in SBURB's alchemy index, but decide not to question it.)_

**> BRO: Attempt to contact ROXY**

You're briefly BRO STRIDER, for all that it takes to see that your phone CANNOT CONNECT to ROXY'S. The error isn't that you're blocked, it's that the phone itself is TURNED OFF. You can't hack around that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay im legit taking a break after this one now. sorry for the chapter notif spam. I probably could stand to condense these down more but you're basically getting these chapters as i finish editing through them. 
> 
> I'm legit just... trying to get through this as quickly as possible. I put this off for too long. Past me was giving far too much control over to the readers for some of these commands.
> 
> Next time: JADE. Finally!!


	10. ACT 2: Jade.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade Dreams. Geeze, Louise, does she dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Mourning loss.  
> Dream Bubbles? Sort of??  
> Freaky Formatting.

**> JADE: DREAM.**

You are now JADE... something.

[...Is that f8cking Harley?...]

You are not quite sure where you are. Your DREAM MEMORIES tell you it is a LAND OF FROST AND FROGS, but... it's wrong. The sky is wrong. Instead of a GLOWING ORB OF BLUE, there is instead a WHITE VOID with a GREEN COLORED BLACK HOLE in its center.

**> JADE: LISTEN**

You LISTEN to the WHISPERS of the VOID.

[...YOU CANNOT KEEP ME HERE FOREVER. SISTER...]

You hear nothing you like.

[...yes, i can, brother...]

You don't want to listen.

[[...I WILL ESCAPE. THEN I WILL EAT THEIR UNIVERSE...]

You stop listening.

  
**> JADE: EXPLORE**

You EXPLORE the DREAM MEMORY with a sense of NOSTALGIA, both GOOD AND BAD. 

[...IF I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH WHY DONT I HATE MARRY MYSELF?...]

You aren't sure why you feel this way.

[...dont wanna fuck no elf...]

But there is something... something... someone you were supposed to find?

**> JADE: CONVERSE**

The world shifts, and suddenly, you are in a desert with PYRAMIDS. 

You want to say EGYPT, but... there are too many. 

There is a [GIRL](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/d5a9fc5f-de39-44d0-8556-0c5340901fb1/da4nek1-d8b6f55b-cab5-4477-a85b-c68bd58f81f4.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJpc3MiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwic3ViIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsImF1ZCI6WyJ1cm46c2VydmljZTpmaWxlLmRvd25sb2FkIl0sIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiIvZi9kNWE5ZmM1Zi1kZTM5LTQ0ZDAtODU1Ni0wYzUzNDA5MDFmYjEvZGE0bmVrMS1kOGI2ZjU1Yi1jYWI1LTQ0NzctYTg1Yi1jNjhiZDU4ZjgxZjQucG5nIn1dXX0.wT0vG4C6-xlCP8pICW7UfLizovT8mA9_3utyF-cGdko) standing across from you. The girl raises her phone, and texts you. 

TG: sup

GG: um... hi?

TG: no, ur supposed to say sup

GG: um, ok... sup?

TG: thats the spirit!

GG: who are you?

TG: ur fairy odd mother

GG: fairy god mother?

TG: yuuup

GG: ...okay.

GG: why are you my fairy god mother?

TG: cause someone needs 2 grand u some wishes! ;3

GG: do you have a wand? i dont see a wand :?

TG: no, course i dont have a want

TG: *wand

TG: see im tha kinda fairy odd parent thats got this...

TG: way with makin shit appear from the void!

GG: the void?

TG: yknow, the void. poof kblammo shpowy

TG: i make stuff appear w/ the void hax

GG: so whats your name then?

GG: i cant exactly keep calling you a fairy god parent all the time.

TG: louise

TG: (hehehe)

GG: um okay, louise, so...

GG: how do you grant my wishes then?

TG: just make ur wish and ill make it happen!

GG: ummm, okay...

GG: ...I'd like Bec to be alive again!

TG: ganted~

GG: what, really? just like that??

TG: weeeell, itll be through a roundabout way but totes yeah!

TG: one dead doggy brought back from the grave!

TG: got nymore wishes?

GG: ...um, maybe later? can i save my wishes for later, louise?

TG: geeeze, sure, course u can.

TG: just gotta come find me out here in the land o lake bubbles and blapk holes

GG: LOL...BABH?

TG: up thats here

TG: *yup

TG: also, u probably shuld choose a text color

TG: im personally fond of GREEN myshelf! :3

GG: i can tell.

TG: ;3 aint it anice colour?

GG: i'd prefer something a bit darker, honestly.

TG: maybeehhh u should...

GG: hm?

TG: oh shoot i gotst2 go

TG: allonsy and all that biz

Then, the girl disappears.

[...you suddenly understand jackshit...]

You have no idea what just happened. 

**> JADE: WAKE.**

You wonder if you should wake up now, even as the world transitions from FROST AND FROGS to GOOD OL' SUBURBIA.

[...you need to wake up, jade...]

You are now in your ROOM, although the posters are all WRONG. 

[...you feel trapped, as if on a sense bordering on the titular...]

You don't care, tough, because, as always, Becquerel is resting at the FOOT OF YOUR BED. You go over and give him SCRATCHIES between the ears.

[...jade, he is not even a ghost here...]

Bec whines in appreciation. Such a good dog.

[...Jade, please, you need to wake up...]

No, you'd rather stay asleep right now thank you very much.

[...and what, are you just going to fall asleep inside a dream?...]

You curl up next to Becquerel and hug him tight. 

[...jade. jade. please. jade. jade...]

Good Dog. Best Friend.

[...Jade, you need to move on...]

You are NOT letting go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah alright this was a weird one. I didn't bother with the invisitext in this version, because, well. It would've been a pain. So have some more candy colored formatting!


	11. ACT 2: Further Antagonism.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Which Jade got bullied by the Reader Commands, but not any more. Also a Meta Break.
> 
> You can PROBABLY skip this chapter for the most part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Meta Break of the Narrative to talk about Reader Bullying Commands.  
> Also, a lot of pointless strife battles, tbh.   
> Oh, there is ONE character reveal, but... eh.

**> Dave: Combine CAPTCHALOGUE CARD with CAMERA**

_You combine one of your BRO'S CAMERAS with a CAPTCHALOGUE CARD, creating the CAPTCHAROID CAMERA._

_You take an IRONIC PICTURE of your BRO, getting a GHOST IMAGE CAPTCHALOGUE CARD of him._

Dave's Bro whips up one for himself, and returns the favor. Now they'll never be separated ever again.

  
This thing could be incredibly useful for captchaloguing things that one can't fit in your sylladex. Dave takes a picture of a device Argo had put down during her REMODELING while he and Bro were strifing the IMPS. 

This is the PUNCH DESIGNIX, and to use it Dave has been running up and down a newly added staircase to do any of the alchemy done so far. 

The narration didn't make a big deal out of it because you read the GAME FAQ guide.

Dave now have a GHOST IMAGE of the PUNCH DESIGNIX. Yay. Now what do you even do with it? 

**> DAVE: Send the CAPTCHAROID CAMERA to ARGO, share ALL THE CODES. **

TG: yo

TG: check it out

AC: :??

TG: cP7cHRCM, bro and I are flippin out

AC: :O

TG: Captchamodus Camera Logs, oh yes,

TG: cant stop us from swipin stuff with this picture modus

TG: hell yes, we've got lifdoff,

TG: pictures of everything and anything weve got

TG: cause why the hell not?

TG: s'not like we ain't gonna abuse the hell outa this

TG: holy crap, the imps be flippin their shit!

TG: so now cmmon you cawin crows, stop all your hissyfits

TG: and take a nice break and listen to this

TG: sick

TG: beat

TG: and then drop that taylor swift 'shake it up' melody and we're done here

AC: that was amazing!

TG: thanks

AC: and this camera is amazing too

AC: look! I just took a picture of something rezi just dropped in my house!

\-- arsenicCataclysm [AC] sent file [photo00000001.CLOG] --

TG: huh

TG: i wonder...

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] sent file [photo00000021.CLOG] --

AC: youve taken 21 pictures already??

TG: well duh me an' bro gotta test this stuff out somehow

AC: hey, dave, this thing is compatible with the new thing rezi put down!

TG: woah really now

TG: this i gotta see

\-- arsenicCataclysm [AC] sent file [photo00000002.CLOG] --

TG: woah wait i got a totally meta idea

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] sent file [photo00000022.CLOG] --

AC: :OO

AC: its like...

AC: two already efficient machines just met and this is their hyper efficient love child!

TG: damn straight

**> JADE: WAKE UP.**

Jade Egbert refuses to wake up from gentel prodding.

The Spider troll gazes at her slumbering form from inside the Black Hole and focuses her attention and her powers...

The Dream Bubble is Popped- and Jade Egbert awakens- shouting and crying and...

In another Universe, Aranea winces slightly as the noise travels through her headphones directly into her ears- where she'd been observing Jade and trying to gently pull her out of her grief.

Yeah, nice job upsetting an already upset girl, pushy person. This is what happens when people try forcing things to happen before their time. I'll now rhetorically ask if it's possible to just let Jade rest on her own here?

But yeah, no, I already know the answer to that. Hindsight's a bitch.

**> ARGO + DAVE: UPGRADE ALCHEMITER.**

They both proceed to mix and match as much as physically possible given your CHEATING METHODS, and create the ONE STOP ALCHEMY SHOP.

Now making fancy shit is as easy is plugging a couple captchalogue cards into the thing and getting a result,

**> ARGO: ALCHEMIZE.**

While she's got a BRIEF BREAK, she decides to do some ALCHEMIZING.

**> Combine CHAT NOIR RING with CAT EARS+TAIL & JACKET**

_You got a CHAT NOIR COSPLAY SUIT! :33 Now you really CAN pretend to be CHAT NOIR!_

**> Combine CHAT NOIR RING with CLAW GLOVES**

_You got the CATACLYSMIC KNUCKLE DUSTER GLOVES! Although they've lost the RETRACTABLE BLADES, these puppies will DECAY anything you touch with them! Better be careful to only use them on MONSTERS and not any PEOPLE!_

_...Or rather, you would if you had the GRIST for it!_

_Damned things cost an EXTRAORDINARY AMOUNT of UNKNOWN GRIST. Atleast SEVERAL HUNDRED of each unknown type._

**> Combine RING with COSPLAY**

_You got the INSTA-CHANGE CHAT NOIR COSTUME! One cry of CLAWS OUT and the Suit MAGICALLY APPEARS as if you've really just MERGED with an ANCIENT SPIRIT CAT._

_...Or, again, you would IF you had the Grist._

**> Combine CAPTCHAROID CAMERA W/ STRIDER SHADES!**

_You got the SNAPALOGUE SHADES!_

_They're basically a COMPLETELY DIGITAL VERSION of the CAPTCHAROID CAMERA, housed within a SET OF COOL SHADES._

**> Combine DRAWING TABLET W/ SNAPALOGUE SHADES.**

_You got the ORANGE BRAND CHAT-A-LOGUE SPECS!_

_"SO. COOL."_

_They even come with an OPTIONAL GOGGLE BAND to keep the things on your head when you're DUCKING AND JUMPING and doing all kinds of SWEET ACROBATICS off some imaginary HANDLES._

**> ARGO + DAVE: Continue STRIFING.**

They both finish up their ALCHEMY SPREES just in time! Here comes another wave of IMPS! 

**> DAVE: Wonder why there is only one type of monster.**

What? Do you mean the fact that the CROW IMPS have subtly started gaining.... 

Cat features...?

The world around Dave suddenly takes on an ORANGISH HUE, like somebody's finger slipped and hit the button that shifted the computer monitor from NORMAL MODE to GAMMA ADJUSTMENT.

The APARTMENT BUILDING SHAKES dramatically, and the CAT/CROW IMPS all start HIDING or ABSCONDING.

It's a suckers bet of a thousand boonbucks that there's more than IMPS this time.

**> DAVE: Ascend to Highest Point in the Building.**

Dave, his Bro, and the CROWSPRITE all ascend to the NEW ROOFTOP, past the old one which is now part of a copy of your apartment's new floor? You Guess?? SBURB is weird as fuck but whatever.

The three exit onto the ROOFTOP, and find... 

My God, they find...

**> DAVE: Regret life decisions.**

Dave finds TWO (2) LAVA TYPE CAT-EARED ORGS, each ARMED with nothing but their CLAW TIPPED FISTS.

This? This is going to hurt.

**> DAVE: At least it can not get any worse. **

As he thinks this very thought, TWO (2) MAGMA CROW LICHES swoop in from below. Their GRINNING MAWS are TERRIFYINGLY CATLIKE. 

You just had to say it, didn't you? You just had to say that it couldn't get worse. 

**> ARGO: Face similar**

Argo EXITS her HOUSE, and come face to face with TWO (2!!) SUGAR CAT ORGES and THREE (3!!!) SUGAR CROW LICHES!!

She looks to PLAGGSPRITE for advice or help, but the cheeky sprite is nowhere to be seen.

**> Argo: Run like hell! **

Argo ABSCONDS back into the house, preferably to alchemize up something that could fight against these monsters.

Ideas, ideas... She tries to figure out what to use while the SUGAR CAT ORGES beat at the door!

**> Dave: Run like hell! **

A MAGMA CROW LICH lands ontop of the STAIRWAY ENTRANCE, MELTING the door SHUT!!

CAN'T ABSCOND, the LICH all but taunts.

Looks like Dave and his BRO are going to have to fight these guys. 

**> BRO: Get DAVE to safety. **

The DOOR is MELTED SHUT. Only way Dirk can think of getting rid of it in a hurry is to have whatever added a second floor remove the door.

He PESTERS the GIRL who he's pretty sure is Dave's SERVER PLAYER to REMOVE THE DOOR, but just gets an IDLE RESPONSE message.

It's better than the last LALONDE he pestered, however.

**> Dave & Bro: STRIFE! **

They'll just have to fight off the ORGES and LICHES until the door gets open.

**> Argo: Alchemize Dave's Stiller Shades and Steakshredder Gauntlets. **

_You get..._

_A HI-C ECTO COOLER 6 PACK!_

_...What the hell? This is probably the result of two codes combining to make SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY by sheer accident._

**> Argo: Alchemize Crayola Paint and ECTO COOLER**

_You got...!_

_A SPLOOSHOMATIC INK GUN???_

_You try the OTHER way of combining items, and get..._

_...A BOTTLE OF PAINT STRIPPER???_

_...You then combine the HI-C ECTO COOLER 6 PACK with the PAINT STRIPER and the INK GUN in both ways for the hell of it._

_You get:_

_A ECTO-SLIME FILLED SPLATTERSHOT JR._

_A PAINT STRIPPER FILLED CARBON ROLLER._

_A PAIR OF GHOST-BLADE CLAW GAUNTLETS???_

_HI-C PROBLEM SLEUTH: THE MOVIE "HARD BOILED" SPECIAL EDITION 8 PACK._

_...Welp, you're probably screwed._

  
**> ARGO: Create SHIPPING WALL. **

_You combine the PAINTS and your DRAWING TABLET and get... A Wall of Stone with a bunch of RANDOM SHIPS painted onto it._

_Who the heck are all these people? ....And is that a ROBOT GIRL WITH RAM HORNS???_

_You're beginning to suspect that someone is messing with your LUCK STAT..._

_(Someone whose name might just be PLAGGSPRITE.)_

**> ARGO: Strife.**

First things first, Argo checks PESTERCHUM, and realizes that DAVE'S BRO asked her to remove a door...

She checks SBURB and...

Oh. Oh God.

**> ARGO: Remove DOOR. **

Argo does more than that and just rips the WHOLE BLOCK off and shove it onto a LAVA ORGE'S HEAD.

The thing is distracted, long enough for DAVE'S BRO to DECAPITATE IT.

With that, the tide of one battle has turned dramatically. 

Argo select the floor under the other ORGE and deletes it with a vengeance.

Argo's own FRONT DOOR rattles once more, reminding her that she has her own ENEMIES to fight.

**> DAVE: PROTOTYPE something, anything, nothing could be less helpful than this FEATHERY ASSHOLE. **

Dave doesn't have anything to prototype right now besides some shit in his SYLLADEX, and hes hesitant to part with some of the shit in there.

All thoughts about PROTOTYPING are cut off as Dave's BRO decapitates one of the ORGES.

The other one is taken out by surprise when Argo deletes part of the floor under it, trapping it long enough for Dave to get in on that decapitation action. 

The two LICHES seem wary now that Argo is messing with things.

**> ARGO: Browse to mspaintadventures.com. **

Huh? Do you mean the PROBLEM SLEUTH MOVIE WEBSITE? Why would you do that for? There's nothing important there that could help Argo out right now. 

**> Argo: Ask Rezi to take care of the enemies outside. **

Well HEY, now there's an IDEA.

AC: hey!

GC: y3s?

AC: make up the name thing to me by distacting those monsters outside for me PLZ!

GC: sur3 th1ng!

**> REZI: DROP THE HAMMER**

Well, you don't have a hammer, but you do have some ZAZERPAN STATUE PARTS.

DROP. SQU1SH. DROP. SQU1SH.

  
The Orges are barely inconvenienced by this.

The LICHES laugh in a very CAT LIKE manner.

**> Argo: ALCHEMIZATION MONTAGE!!! **

WE ALREADY JUST DID ONE!? Argo doesn't have enough GRIST for anything more right now!! She pretty much just burned through the stock reserves alongside the remodeling Rezi did...

Remodeling... huh...

**> Argo: ASCEND to the Highest Point in the Building.**

Argo begins CLIMBING the NEWLY ADDED STAIRS.

She exits a door, and stands on a BALCONY overlooking the now rather SMALL DUE TO PERSPECTIVE Orges and Liches.

Argo start to laugh and hold out the bottle of PAINT STRIPPER.

AC: these orges are about to have a bad time >B33

GC: >:? wh4t 4r3 you do1ng??

**> Argo: IMPALE and DESCEND.**

Argo extends the claws of her FREEHAND and EVWISKERATES the BOTTLE OF PAINT STRIPPER.

Its PAYLOAD of ACIDS begin their descent downwards in the form of ACID RAIN.

The Sugar matrices inside the ORGES and LICHES reacts rather poorly to this, and the monsters hiss in pain... or is it acidic melting?

Whatever.

**> Argo: Forget you don't have wings.**

Argo leaps off of the building, claws out.

She manages to pull off the HIGHLY DANGEROUS and EXTREMELY COMPLI-CAT-ED X4 HEAD SWIPE COMBO before hiting your BED- which Rezi had dragged out of her room at break neck speeds to ARREST ARGO'S FALL.

Argo's not HURT ENOUGH TO BE DEAD, but it's still enough damage to KNOCK HER OUT. WHOOPS.

**> ARGO: Keep the SAFE shut at all costs. **

The SAFE never crossed her MIND.

If it had, however, it would have caused a BRANCHED TIMELINE where she ran across a PROSPITIAN INFILTRATOR who was sent to retrieve a CERTAIN JOURNAL, which as you, the reader, might recall is still inside ARGO'S SYLLADEX. 

Thank god that never happened, otherwise there'd be ONE EXTRA DEAD CAT GIRL where there wasn't meant to be one... right?

...Right?

**> DAVE: STRIFE! **

The LICHES are smart enough not to land, so Dave need something to REACH THEM. Can't go having them harassing his house which, apparently, is suspended above MOLTEN LAVA??? Whatever. Dave's got some strifing to do, and really, you're beginning to feel like that word's wearing its welcome out here. 

Do you got any other commands to use like AGGRIEVE or AGRESS or what about GRIEF? GRIEF is a NICE WORD, you'd think.

Anyways, yeah, Argo's stopped messing with things and now Rezi is pestering Dave saying that Argo's done something stupid but what else is new?? 

  
**> Jade: Stop crying and get over it!**

Hi. Calum here.

Okay. I'm breaking the fourth wall here. This whole section up until we jump back to Dave is now literally just... Me talking about what happened here in the meta abstract.

You wanna know what annoyed me the most about this section? The amount of comments I was getting directed at Jade trying to force her into the plot of the story.

It was bullying plain and simple.

I pointed it out twice. 

"You cannot command Jade, she is too busy crying and being soothed by her DISTRAUGHT FATHER."

And after:

**> I said stop crying!**

  
I'd replied "You won't get anywhere by being rude about it. Besides, her FATHER is getting some ice cream out."

Basically. The whole intent here was to get the readers to stop trying to FORCE Jade to Calm Down and join the story, and finish wrapping up the Strife Battles Argo and Dave were in. I mean, the Readers STARTED these threads, basically- so why not finish them? Why start another? Why drag Jade into this?? She's not going to be able to affect anything. Honestly, I don't get it even now. I'd made it abundantly clear early on that Dave had an ABNORMALLY early Entry compared to everyone else. Argo's was a bit earlier too. Rezi's would be later, and Jade's Last. Trying to get Jade involved in the plot now- this late at night in the timeline, just...

But then...

_**> STOP. FUCKING. CRYING!!!!!!!! ** _

I have no idea how well this will translate onto AO3 but that was size 24 font, in bold and itallics. 

In Universe, one of the Serkets, Vriska in specific, here was being too commanding to stop Jade from being upset. Out of Universe, the Readers were simply... just trying to get Jade into the plot before she was ready to join it. All they were doing was upsetting Jade by this, and upsetting me by extension, and honestly, this bullying tactic just doesn't work! It really doesn't. 

Not in fiction, not in reality.

It's the Middle Of The Night. Jade's woken up from a dream by force where she was with her Dog.

I can understand wanting to get Jade involved in the plot here, but- COME ON. I was already showing atleast three times now that Jade wasn't going to come around thanks to that kind of Strong Arming tactics, but a certain reader(s) kept pushing it. 

In Universe, I framed that with this following reveal:

_**> Mysterious Commander; REVEAL THYSELF!!!!!!!!** _

_You are now...._

_VRISKA SERKET._

_And WOW do you look like you've been through HELL AND 8ACK._

_Why, you're missing your RIGHT ARM entirely, and you look like you got CRUSHED BY A HOUSE that MIGHT NOT HAVE EVEN EXISTED for a short while??? And, yeah, your horns are all BROKEN TO HELL AND BACK. DAAAAAAAAM girl, you're so messed up that I don't feel comfortable showing your SYMBOLIC RENDERING SPRITE at all._

_I mean, seriously, that's just M8SS8D 8P!!!!!!!!_

_Welp, you're now VRISKA SERKET, and you've been stuck in the REMAINS OF THE FURTHEST RING for..... YOU DON'T EVEN REMEM8ER, it's been so long._

_Oh, and did I mention the fact that your eyes are WHITE and pretty much INDICATIVE of you being a GH8ST????????_

_Yeah. Saying that fighting LORD ENGLISH did NOT GO WELL for you would be a MAJOR UNDERST8MENT!!!!!!!!_

...

Yeah, that's Vriska. This Vriska really did not get a good ending compared to how things have somewhat turned out in the Epilogues.

I also wasn't going to have Vriska BE this antagonistic until the Reader Commands got so pushy and shovy and... I needed a character who would still be in-character doing that sort of thing given the situation.

If I can be candid for a moment? This whole bullying campaign against Jade sucks. It really does. It's like some of the readers here were just... Intentionally trying to make her upset more?? 

Honestly, if this didn't wind up playing through with major consequences later on, I'd upend this whole section even more than I already am.

The only thing about this entire snipit of section you can take as happening canonically in this rewrite as of now is the Vriska section above. Nope. In this rewrite of the timeline, Jade Egbert gets ice cream, gets to have her Dad help her calm down safely and calmly and not at all in a demanding way and she gets to REST. Do you hear me?

I'm putting my foot down here on this version of Events. Bullying Sucks. It's Wrong. And Seriously I should have just ignored those reader commands the first time around entirely. 

All that bullying is now decontinuity-ed after the point Jade was forcibly woken up. 

And to anyone who's got an issue with that right now? Grow up. It's not wrong to show weakness. What is wrong is to try and force someone to calm down and stop crying and stop processing and stop grieving simply because you don't like it. Especially not when they're upset because they LOST SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO THEM.

Let people grieve in their own time. It's only polite.

...Okay that's enough of this derailment. Let's... get back to Dave and the proper flow of story.

* * *

**> DAVE: Fast forward until your house is a little taller, walk up to where the LICHES were, then rewind. **

Dave doesn't have a TIME MACHINE, but it seems a FUTURE DAVE was already on that because HERE HE COMES TO SAVE THE DAY.

_**SLICE X2 COMBO!** _

**> BRO: Catch DAVE. **

BRO catches the FUTURE you before he crash lands.

This Dave is not wearing the fancy RED CLOTHES the other FUTURE DAVE did, implying he's a little bit closer to current Dave. Whatever that means.

Oh, he's walking up to Dave now and-

KONKsuck.

He is hit over the head by a SHITTY SANTA STOCKING.

**> REZI: Facepalm x2 COMBO.**

Done. And. Done.

**> REZI: Leave ARGO a message about JASPERS. **

GC: hey, um, listen, funky quirk dropped for the moment because this is serious

GC: i... might have accidentally killed your cat??

GC: he just jumped in the way of the sink when i grabbed it by accidentand..

GC: IMSUPERSORRYPLEASEDONTKILLME

...Yeah, she's not going to see that for a while.

  
No point, she's still OFFLINE. Probably not going to be on 'til she WAKES UP in a few more hours. You can't imagine any reason why she'd even be up let alone get online at this time of night.

  
Pointed Glaring At The Readers Pushing Jade Into The Plot Intensifies.

Actually, you know what, that's a good stopping point for this 'chapter.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOOO. Okay. Long ass chapter is long.


	12. END OF ACT 2: Let It Lie.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream Self Shenanigans, and more Blatantly Copy-Pasted Text.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Dream Shenanigans.  
> Psychic Stuff.  
> Murder Attempt.

**> JOHN: Consider storing something in the VOID. **

You've already done that. MEMENTOS from your various TRAVELS. Here, you've got a LEGIT GABUREVOLVER from your one time as KYORYU GREY. And over here is a DROWNED DELOREAN TIME MACHINE you've dragged out of a swamp, but yet to get REPAIRED for a stable time loop in ANOTHER WORLD that is of little import to here.

You have SEEN SOME SHIT, let you tell the Meta Readership.

But since you're asking, got anything in mind?

**> ARGO: DREAM. **

You WAKE UP along side a SLEEPING DAVE. 

You are both in a GOLD PAINTED CITY... a SIGN in the air calls this PROSPIT.

...Why is there a sign floating in the air?

As you MEWSE upon this, DAVE suddenly wakes up, complete with a FRESH PAIR of DREAM SHADES.

Ain't that wonderful- now you MACTH like a couple of TWINS! :33 

>please stop crying, ms. egbert. yoU don't have to listen to her anymore.

"Oi." The Ghost of Vriska's Past turns to look at this random troll that's intruding on her haunting space in the EGBERT HOUSEHOLD. "Step off, greenie. I've got di8s here."

"No," The troll girl shakes her head. "YoU don't!"

And then she throws a simple PSYCHIC PUSH Vriska's way, banishing her back to the dream bubbles for the time being. Damned hitchhikers will do anything to get out of that place these days, up to and including waking up a wandering dreamer and bodily FOLLOWING THEM into reality again.

**[>You are now...](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/d5a9fc5f-de39-44d0-8556-0c5340901fb1/da4y6h4-392a8957-12b0-4477-b174-09ebf17f938c.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJpc3MiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwic3ViIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsImF1ZCI6WyJ1cm46c2VydmljZTpmaWxlLmRvd25sb2FkIl0sIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiIvZi9kNWE5ZmM1Zi1kZTM5LTQ0ZDAtODU1Ni0wYzUzNDA5MDFmYjEvZGE0eTZoNC0zOTJhODk1Ny0xMmIwLTQ0NzctYjE3NC0wOWViZjE3ZjkzOGMucG5nIn1dXX0.aswtt615LMH3cJasp514OiLqDm1BRMpUDjCub28ac-w) **

The Psychic Projection of Callie Leijon stands inside Jade Egbert's bedroom. Not physically, just like Vriska's Ghost wasn't really there, but that was enough to cause Jade no end of Emotional Pain.

Or that would have been the case had Callie not intervened sooner. 

As it was just being forcibly awakened was a lot of turmoil for Jade, and Vriska no doubt would have exasberated it had Callie not shoved her away.

So, Callie's not just an Olive Blood here, she's a LIME IN DISGUISE- and that gives her the opposite power of Purple Blooded Clown Psychics. Instead of causing terrors, it's a calming field, and HEY! Lookie there! That's a prototypical worldbuilding detail that Calum went and reused in Stargate Alternia! How about That!

Still, Callie doesn't find she needs to use it here. 

Jade's father is doing the best work he can, and Callie doesn't feel the need to psychically augment Jade's cooldown here.

Jade will enter when she's ready, and Callie will remain to guard her for the moment, just incase that Spider Troll tries to come back.

Jade's father starts to sing a soothing song...

Callie thinks about the reality of the METEOR her and her fellow trolls are stuck on, and she hums along in reality.

Quite a few of her teammates gave her strange looks, and the team LEADER breifly accosted her, asking if she was trying to calm everyone down or just annoy everyone.

Callie pointed and explained the situation, which he accepted, and headed back to work on a PLAN that might just retroactively strand them all on the meteor to begin with.

\---

**> BRO: React.**

You are now briefly DAVE'S BRO, and you have just watched a FUTURE DAVE knock YOUR DAVE unconscious with a SHITTY SANTA STOCKING. When you ask why, he just explains it away as another stable time loop being completed.

Eh, that's Fair Enough, you suppose.

**> JOHN: Consider storage of PLANETS and GOD-FROGS.**

SBURB generated planets? Yeah, sure, you can probably store a whole session's worth in here. NORMAL Planets??? That'd be a bit tricky without a SUN. 

As for UNIVERSE FROGS??? You probably could fit something in here. After all, this IS the VOID BETWEEN MULTIVERSES. If it's big enough to fit whole SPIRALING GALAXY SHAPED MULTIVERSES with ROOM TO SPARE and still be called a VOID, what's one GENESIS FROG on top of it?

**> JOHN: Look for FIREFLIES.**

Oh, hey, there's one now. Hello there, little one! 

You let the Firefly land on your finger.

You will name it something suitably WHIMSICAL later, when a name comes to you.

**> ARGO+DAVE: Investigate.**

A brief casual glance confirms that you are on PROSPIT'S DREAMERS MOON, you are headed towards a SKAIAN ECLIPSE, which, if you knew what that meant, would explain why nobody is out on the streets right now.

A DREAM TOWER is within close traveling distance. The other is a BIT FURTHER AWAY.

**> Derse Dreamers: be seen**

You are now briefly a PARCEL MISTRESS. Wow, are those Derse's dreamers!? After what happened to DERSE earlier today, you're quite surprised to see them both up and about! Everyone was sure they were dead after the MYSTERIOUS ACCIDENT!

You rush off towards the NEAREST TRANSPORTALIZER! The QUEEN simply *MUST* be informed of her kingdom's newest guests!! 

**> Derse Dreamers: Make for the nearest DREAM TOWER, it is time for a SLEEPOVER.**

You head to the nearest DREAM TOWER, and ASCEND via DREAM WINGS.

Inside you find....

Nobody. There is nobody in this room. Whichever DREAM SELF inhabits this room, they are very obviously SLEEP WALKING, because as far as the readership is aware, both PROSPIT DREAMERS are AWAKE in their normal self bodies.

**> Argo: Examine Room**

This appears to be the dream room for JADE EGBERT. It's basically a GOLDEN VERSION of the room you've seen many times over the years.

Hey, look, over there's the TIKKI PLUSH Rezi got her, except it's all DREAM LIKE AND ANIMATED despite the fact that it really shouldn't be buzzing around the room like it was ALIVE.

Curled up on the bed is a PHANTOM GHOST PUPPY that you recognize as BECQUEREL when he was a PUPPY. 

Jade must be a really vivid dreamer to have such an animated dream room even when not inside it.

**> JADE: DREAM.**

While Jade has calmed down somewhat, she is still not calm enough to be willing to listen to commands. 

The PSYCHIC PROJECTION of Callie glares off screen at an intruding SPIDER TROLL who thinks she can slip back in to wrest command of the narrative again.

**> Dave: Investigate other Tower**

Time to get this dream flight stuff under control. 

You take off like a rocket towards the other dream tower.

Inside you find the room's OCCUPANT. A Girl who looks like REZI would if she had BLACK HAIR instead of BLONDE. You're not quite sure if it's just the strange lighting filtering in from the window or not, but you could swear her skin is GREY HUED. 

**> Dave: Check head for horns**

You're not going to do that. You just decide to give her a pat on the head and head back to the other t-OW!!

Okay what the fuck??

You brush some hair away and find a set of SHARP POINTED CANDY CORN HORNS.

...You guess in her dreams, Rezi is some kind of CANDY CORN VAMPIRE ALIEN??

Whatever, it's her dream room.

**> Dave: Snoop**

This... this room is a complete and total mess of colors and wall decorations.

You wouldn't even know where to begin with snooping in here.

[ **> [S] Argo: Locate Jade** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmJ3Ex2jguE)

You're a bit worried that your COUSIN isn't in here. You slip out of the dream tower and start shifting your nose to have a CAT'S SENSE OF SMELL.

As you're doing this, Prospit's MOON begins to ECLIPSE with SKAIA.

CLOUDS begin drifting past, changing shape and imagery as they drift past. You see a RING-FOUR FOLD- then a RING EIGHT FOLD- TWELVE FOLD- NONE.

You observe YOUR HOUSE, going from non existent to being built, and then entering SBURB and then growing taller and taller.

You observe the house suddenly becoming SOMEONE ELSE'S HOUSE, and there is a girl you don't recognize living there.

That cloud passes, replaced by another, and you see a GIRL who looks like Jade, except... different??

You see DAVE, then His BRO, and then his BRO when he's YOUNGER.... followed by a boy in blue who also looks like JADE... almost like a brother, but she doesn't have a brother. 

Then, you see the boy in blue somewhere in PROSPIT, slowly dragging Jade back towards her Dream Tower, and you???

You turn around, and you see this same boy pulling a slumbering Jade back towards her tower.

He starts to say something, but that's when you feel a SHARP PAIN in your chest. 

You look down, seeing blood start to emerge from your rib cage...

What...?

As you start to feel faint, you catch a glimpse of a cloud...

A PROSPITIAN INTRUDER stands over your SLEEPING BODY, a STEAK KNIFE in your chest, and the BARK JOURNAL in his hands.

That bastard killed you to loot the journal...!

That is when you BLACK OUT.

**> END OF ACT 2.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, here was the original EOA1. Well, nah, it'll be EOA2 now.


	13. ACT 3: A Fight of Exposition.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we finally get some explanation as to what the hell is going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> MANY Murder Attempts.  
> Prototyping to save a life.  
> More Time Shenanigans.  
> Dousing someone in paint stripper.

You are now the PROSPITIAN INFILTRATOR.

You are a member of A SECRET SPECIAL OPERAIONS FORCE. Your group's ULITMATE GOAL is to create a WAR BEAST that will DECIMATE DERSE's FORCES with minimal bloodshed of Prospitian life.

To do that, you were given free reign to do whatever you deem necessary to achieve your goals, even if it means that you have to fight your own people once they find out what you've done.

Step 1: Retrieve GENETIC CODE JOURNAL. 

Why didn't the girl leave it in the safe? You had to kill her in order to open her FETCH MODUS. Oh well, she's a Derse Dreamer, nobody on Prospit cares about those kids.

In fact, you'll bet that if DERSE weren't in such a DISARRAY because of the MYSTERIOUS ACCIDENT, they'd be the ones to throw more of a fit once they learn.

Not that you'll be around in the future to reap the rewards. 

**> FUTURE DAVE: revive kiss ARGO.**

Eh? What's this? It's the KNIGHT OF TIME, bursting dramatically out of a CLOSET in some attempt to AVENGE his fellow Derse Dreamer. 

Nobody is sure what the PRINCESS's title is, but you've gained some sudden insight.

 _Corpse of Time Bait_.

Step 2: Acquire Time Tables

You Smirk, and grab a CARBON ROLLER off the ground near the ALCHEMITER, and wield it improperly like a swordkind weapon when it's CLEARLY PAINTROLLERKIND.

The KNIGHT grits his teeth and prepares for BATTLE.

**> CALLIE: Invite VRISKA in, offer her a different w--**

You are now CALLIE LEIJON, no longer a PSYCHIC PROJECTION, and you're just going to stop that intrusive thought right there.

You know ALL TOO WELL the trouble that Ghost will cause if you even dare give her an inch. Half of your Sessions' TROUBLES were because of her, after all, and, you're beginning to suspect, the cause of the CURRENT SITUATION as well, given that it ties into this KID'S SESSION.

**> CALLIE + VRISKA: Have a TEA P8RTY.**

Oh, now you KNOW she's trolling you with these thoughts, you shudder with a grimace as you feel those peculiar tendrils of psychic energy trying to weave into your thinkpan.

Anyone who's spent as long in the FURTHEST RING as that ghost has is never going to listen to anyone but HERSELF, even if she pretends she's doing it in "EVERYONE'S INTERESTS."

**> DREAM DAVE: Get DREAM REZI over to JADE'S DREAM TOWER.**

Having seen the HORRORS IN THE CLOUDS, you grab DREAM REZI, and haul ass over to JADE'S TOWER.

**> JOHN: Get DREAM JADE and DREAM ARGO to JADE'S DREAM TOWER.**

You do that. You enter before DREAM DAVE arrives, and tuck Jade into BED. You wish you could do more for Argo, but, as a quick glance into the clouds confirms, FUTURE DAVE is already on that.

You'll leave the time travel up to him for the moment.

**> JOHN: Check DREAM JADE for DOG EARS, TAIL.**

Of course she has DOG EARS. Her Dreamself has always had them this time around. You're fairly certain you know what's going to happen... again, you mean.

**> JOHN: Check on Terezi**

You ZAP over to the ISLAND, and INVESTIGATE. You know predestination is a thing you're trying not to mess with but you know all too well that Terezi wouldn't have allowed this if she were aware of what happened.

You find the girl knocked out over her computer in the ATRIUM. Looks like something flew in through the window and hit her over the head hard enough to knock her flat out entirely, rather than sending her to PROSPIT.

That is... worrisome. 

**> DREAMERS: Have a SLEEPOVER.**

You're now Dream Dave once more, and you arrive in Jade's tower just in time to watch SOME GHOST disappear in a flash of BLUE LIGHT. 

Damn Ghosts be EVERYWHERE.

**> DREAM BEC: Lick your DREAM MASTER awake.**

Unfortunately, DREAM BEC is just a DREAM CONSTRUCT, and has no real means of affecting things. He is as much a part of JADE'S PSYCHE as JADE'S DREAMSELF is! If she wants to wake up by way of PUPPY LICKS, that is how she'll wake up. 

**> Dream Dave: Kiss Dream Argo back to life.**

You don't think that mechanic works that way. 

You'll have to focus on keeping pressure on the wound and trying to keep her from bleeding out... and you aren't sure if that would even work in this situation, since this is just a DREAM BODY.

You keep glancing out the WINDOW to observe the BATTLE in a PASSING CLOUD...

You hope FUTURE YOU manages to do whatever he's set out to do before she dies on you.

  
**> PROSPITIAN INFILTRATOR: Step 3: ???**

Can't get to step three 'til you grab that TIME TABLE.

You smash the CARBON ROLLER over the KNIGHT'S HEAD, splashing his decidedly NON GOD TIER CLOTHES with PAINT STRIPPER.

He yelps in dismay and you wrestle away the TIME TABLE.

_Step 2 Achieved._

Onto Step 3: Retrieve a Royal Ring

You TIME JUMP into the PAST- to the point that the PLANET has not appeared yet!

Hahahahahaha!

You make your way to PROSPIT by way of TIME JUMPING in an UNPREDICTABLE MANNER.

**> PROSPITIAN INFILTRATOR: Step 4: Profit**

You spontaneously appear in the QUEEN'S ROYAL COURT while she's talking with some PARCEL MISTRESS.

_SURPRISE: SUCKERS!!!_

You use the CARBON ROLLER and SPLASH BOTH of them with PAINT STRIPPER. The PROTOTYPED QUEEN recoils in surprise, forcing the Queen into activating CATACLYSM on sheer INSTINCT.

She jerks away from accidentally striking the PARCEL MISTRESS and lands on the FLOOR, claws first.

The FLOOR DISSOLVES, and you all land in the TREASURY VAULT.

You use your SWIPED MODUS to CAPTCHALOGUE THE TREASURY.

_PROFIT: SECURED._

The Queen, caught off guard by the floor falling out from under her own attack, is STUNNED, and thus VULNERABLE.

You SWIPE THE RING, and GROW YOUR WINGS.

You BLAST OUT INTO THE OPEN SKAIAN AIR.

Oh. YES. It's good to be ROGUE.

**> MOM: Now would be a good time to show up.**

While the time traveling boy hurries towards the nearest bathroom to WASH OFF the PAINT STRIPPER, Mother Lalonde emerge from the shadows, clothes ruined by fire and flames, and hair looking disheveled.

She sees her daughter, lying on the ground, bleeding out, and would cry a tear if not for her tears having all been shed already.

A mother will do what is best for her child.

**> Plaggsprite: do something useful.**

Plaggsprite is too busy licking dirt off the back of his paws to be commanded, or do anything else, really. Which is just exactly what is wanted.

Mother Lalonde, with a twinge of regret, drops her daughter's body into the SPRITE mere moments before she falls to her knees, breathing heavily from her injuries.

**> DreamArgo: Stop Bleeding.**

Miraculously, Argo's DREAMSELF stops bleeding, and then takes in a super sharp breath as her real-self condition is reset to ALIVE.

**> Dave: Sigh of Relief.**

You exhale in relief, and even though Argo is quite clearly back to being asleep here, you feel safe enough to...

To...

Why is there screaming from outside??

**> Dave: Look out window**

You look out the window and see a PROTOTYPED INFIDEL ascending into the air. 

This... is not good.

>REZI: DREAM

You're pretty sure you're supposed to be on PROSPIT, not in a DREAMBUBBLE COPY of your OLD HIVE.

[...Terezi???????? What are you doing here?...]

Why are you out here?

[...Are you.... HUMAN????...]

The last thing you remember was...

[...REMEM8ER...]

The BUBBLE SHIFTS, and now you're watching as a FREAKY CAT appears outside your ATRIUM WINDOW, hurtling at EXCESSIVE SPEEDS before it SLAMS into the back of your head.

[...F8cking Cats...]

Ow. What the hell, freaky cat??

[...seriously, what the hell??...]

You hear WHISPERS.

>REZI: Hang out with VRISKA.

Your DREAM COMPUTER BUZZES.

What's this? Someone is.... HAUNTING You??

-arachnidsGrip began HAUNTING gratingCheese-

AG: wow.

AG: you look WEIRD as a human, can I just say that?

AG: do you even remember being a troll????

GC: WHY Y3S, Y3S 1 DO, VR1SK4.

GC: 4ND NO, YOU M4Y NOT 'just say that.'

GC: 1 4LSO R3M3MB3R YOU N3V3R R3TURN1NG FROM YOUR B1G F1GHT W1TH 3NGL1SH.

GC: W4NN4 3XPL41N WH4T H4PP3N3D TH3R3??

AG: wow... just... wow...

AG: Did I luck out and get a ghost of you from a doomed timeline??

GC: STOP 4VO1D1NG TH3 QU3ST1ON, VR1SK4.

AG: Fiiiiiiiine.

AG: Well for starters everything Was Going PERFECTLY

AG: the ghost army distracted him, I marched up, lined up the shot

AG: the JuJu rose like a cueball and then...

AG: he got cue eyes instead of 8balls.

GC: >:O

GC: OH SH1T.

AG: yeah, i heard that one sprite yelling about it but then the JuJu Fired and...

AG: next thing I know I'm lying underneath the damned thing as all reality breaks up around me.

AG: then i get swallowed whole by the JUJU and then... I'm just a GHOST!

AG: ::::|

GC: PL34S3 3XCUS3 M3 4S 1 L4UGH MYS3LF B4CK TO 4W4K3FULN3SS.

AG: heeyyy! wait no!!!!!!!! dont go!

AG: I MEAN, IF YOU DO GO

AG: LET ME COME WITH YOU!!!!!!!!

GC: 4S MUCH 4S 1 W4NT TO,

GC: SOM3TH1NG T3LLS M3 TH4T'S 4 B4D 1D34.

AG: DXXXX<

AG: SCREW YOU, PYROPE!!!!!!!!

-arachnidsGrip stopped HAUNTING gratingCheese-

...Welp, that could have gone better.

You have a feeling she's just going to HITCH A RIDE when you wake up anyways. She was probably the one who pulled you into this DREAM BUBBLE anyways.

  
**> QUEEN: React.**

You are now briefly the QUEEN OF PROSPIT.

You are staring upwards as the one who STOLE YOUR RING time travels away.

You can see the DERSE PRINCE floating distantly in the sky. 

You motion to the PARCEL MISTRESS to deliver a LETTER from you to the PRINCE'S HOME on LOHAC.

A Knight must do his duty to end all threats to his Kingdom, even if he must help another Kingdom in the process.

**> DREAM DAVE: Look at where PI came from.**

You can't tell anything from up here, the guy is TIME TRAVELING AROUND like crazy, and here you are without a TIME TABLE.

As if on CUE, a FUTURE YOU, wearing the more familiar RED ROBES, appears with a flash of time travel.

"Yo, let me handle this. Part of a stable time loop now... and speaking of-" He hits you over the head-- and Dave wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Oof. This whole sequence is just chaos incarnate and the original text sold it well enough. I couldn't see much to change/fix, beyond dropping invisitext again.
> 
> I'll be taking another break after posting this one.


	14. ACT 3: Chatlog Stuffers.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Dave God Tiers b/c of being doused in paint stripper.  
> Character Death.  
> Mental Anguish/breakdowns.  
> Non Consensual Mind Calming.

**> ARGOSPRITE: Ascend to First Gate.**

You are now ARGOSPRITE. Your Mother is LYING ON THE GROUND NEXT TO YOU!!! Doing GAME PROGRESSION IS NOT SO IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW!!!

ARGOSPRITE: mom!? Mom! mom are you okay!?

MOMLALONDE: nnngh. sorry, kiddo.

MOMLALONDE: sorry i wasnt here sooner

MOMLALONDE: god, this whole days been a huge mess

ARGOSPRITE: mom that's fine, it's fine you'll be okay alright??

ARGOSPRITE: i know i can use a healing beam thing... somewhere... shouldnt I???

ARGOSPRITE: WHERE ARE THE HEALING OPTIONS!? WHY DO I ONLY HAVE DESTRUCTION POWERS???

MOMLALONDE: sweetie, plz just...

MOMLALONDE: dont worry about me.

MOMLALONDE: im fine

ARGOSPRITE: no you're not fine!! what even happened!?

MOMLALONDE: had a wrstlin mtch with a fireman

MOMLALONDE: lost supr bad.

ARGOSPRITE: :(( mom...

ARGOSPRITE: please, just...

ARGOSPRITE: i can't help you why can't i help you!?

MOMLALONDE: i wasnt supposed to make it into the game with you

MOMLALONDE: im not... menat tto lve through a fukin piece of moon crashin on my lapb

MOMLALONDE: guess im jusenacious,rsometin

ARGOSPRITE: mom, mom, just stop talking okay ill get you to a doctor or something

ARGOSPRITE: why can't i figure out where a doctor is?! why do i know all of this shit about the game but i don't know anything about how to-

MOMLALONDE: ssssssshhhhh

MOMLALONDE: sweetie

MOMLALONDE: dont worry

MOMLALONDE: ill seeu again

MOMLALONDE: just... ask your cousin2...

MOMLALONDE: use onfer

MOMLALONDE: ...faeruisshuz...

ARGOSPRITE: Mom??? :((

ARGOSPRITE: ...Mom??

  
**> SPRITETECH: LV1: CATERWAIL SOURNOTE**

You SCREAM, and break every pane of GLASS in the house in the process.

**> ==>**

SBURB continues to be the troll it is. 

Dave makes his first time table with a code his future self left him before he woke up- goes through the cycle of loops to get to the second gate, to Argo's land, then find the closet and time jump to--

Yeah, get doused with Paint Stripper. While he works on cleaning that off in a series of shenanigans that nobody needs to see, our dear friend Callie tries to message Argo- to no avail.

Meanwhile. The Readers try getting Rezi to message Argo, but forgot she was in a dream bubble, only to find a crack in reality that leads somewhere else annnnd... Runs into Vriska. Again. Wow. She's sure persistent.

Let's just change perspectives now. Some of this stuff seems really kinda mean spirited in retrospect. Past me really was waving some anxiety driven flags of "Please Send Help" here. OOF.

**> JACK: React.**

You are now JACK NOIR. 

God. DAMN IT. Prospit.

When one of their ARCHAGENTS goes ROGUE, they really, REALLY, GO FUCKING ROGUE.

Blowing up DERSE'S MOON and throwing it into SKAIA? Following SUIT by wreaking havoc on PROSPIT?? Not to mention the fact that one of your TOP AGENTS saw a SKAIAN CLOUD Showing the same guy using time travel to KILL ONE OF THE PLAYERS.

If this were any other time, you might be FUCKING AMUSED.

Unfortunately, you're SO VERY, VERY, NOT AMUSED.

**> JN + DD + HB + CD: Status update.**

You get on the radio and get the DRACONIAN DIGNITARY on the line. He says the BLACK QUEEN is hip with the idea of using HER RING in the field against this rogue agent. Show PROSPIT how a REAL ARCHAGENT works his magic. You say to tell the Queen you'd be honored to take up the role of her PERSONAL EXECUTIONER against this ROGUE ELEMENT.

The BRUTE insists that he continues to HATE TIME TRAVEL, but reports that the GIRL was resurrected in her SPRITE. You say good, now you can tell the PRESSES that the GIRL ISNT TOTALLY DEAD YET and you've all got a chance of turning this coup right back on PROSPIT'S SHINY CROWNED HEADS.

The DROLL reports that the SKAIAN CLOUDS are having a hard time keeping track of the PROSPITIAN ROGUE. Seems sort of like he KNOWS EXACTLY WHERE THE CLOUDS ARE WATCHING. But then again, maybe it's all the TIME TRAVEL, since it seems like the KNIGHT OF TIME has made it his personal goal to BRING THIS GUY DOWN. You say, Hey, Cool, maybe we can cut a deal with the DERSITE PRINCE and get him to help you CUT THIS SITUATION OFF before it comes to a head.

The DIGNITARY says that the Queen is on her way down to your office. You say, Sweet, I'll get my hat. The DROLL asks WHAT HAT????!!!! with way too many audible exclamation marks and question marks. The DIGNITARY tells the DROLL to calm the fuck down, it's just the same CAT EARED HATS that everyone's had to wear since the Girl entered. The DROLL says Oh. 

Then, he asks, could we maybe get some more hats?

You say, Not with this Budget. 

The Droll mutters a tiny, but adorable, curse of dismay.

**> JOHN: Grab the MOON, nobody will need it much longer, you might want it later, and watching the reactions could be fun.**

You ZAP into SPACE above EARTH, shortly before JADE will enter. Hers is, of course, the LARGEST METEOR, as is always the case. So, the Earth won't be needing THIS!

You ZAP the MOON into the VOID.

**> JOHN: In fact, consider grabbing most of the other large rocky bodies in the solar system, they could be useful later.**

And why not complete the WHOLE SET?? You ZAP AWAY the OTHER PLANETS of the SOLAR SYSTEM, along with the SUN.

You ALMOST MISS getting PLUTO, though. Sneaky little planetoid thought it could get away from you, but you snag it regardless of its PLANETARY STATUS. Pluto will ALWAYS be a Planet in YOUR HEART. 

If only your DAD could see you now. Saving whole SOLAR SYSTEMS for the sheer thrill of it.

None of that was going to get hit by meteors or anything but- Oh, whoops, there's that biggest meteor you were just talking about.

TSUNAMIS and DUST CLOUDS cover the planet. It's like the EXTINCTION OF THE DINOSAURS all over again. 

Meh. Not like it would have done you any good anyways. You've still got a BACK UP EARTH from the LAST GO AROUND anyways. 

So, uh, Thanks Past-Future Dead-Not-Blind-Troll Terezi from a DOOMED TIMELINE?? Your thinking really paid off there, you suppose.

Speaking of REZI, you wonder what she's up to in dream-land? 

**> JOHN: DWARF PLANETS are totally PLANETS.**

Hell Fuckin' YES they are.

**> JOHN: Just ZAP to the DREAM BUBBLE in which REZI currently resides.**

You first ZAP BACK to the ATRIUM where Rezi is still asleep. Then, you focus on the ideas/concepts of REZI and DREAMING and PRESENT, and ZAP!!!

You find yourself in a weird merged version of DERSE and the ATRIUM.

Rezi is ARGUING with a certain TROLL GIRL GHOST...

Holy shit, is that VRISKA??? What the hell happened to her???

**> John: Talk to the Spider8itch**

JOHN: oh wow, it's vriska!!!

REZI: oh th4nk god you f1n4lly show3d up

VRISKA: John????????

JOHN: you... look like you went three rounds with a train and lost when the train suddenly turned into a giant robo-

VRISKA: ::::| YES. YES. WE G8T 8T 8RE8DY.

VRISKA: I LOOK LIKE SHIT.

VRISKA: CAN WE STOP REMARKING ON HOW I LOOK LIKE SHIT????????

REZI: only 1f you stop try1ng to h1tchh1k3 b4ck to r34l1ty w1th us.

JOHN: wait, why's that a bad idea?

REZI: c4us3 sh3 just copp3d to try1ng 1t w1th j4d3, 4nd only got r3buk3d b3c4us3 of 4 mor3 psych1c4lly pow3rful troll.

VRISKA: she shouldn't even BE a troll.

VRISKA: whatever the fuck happened turned that cherub girl we were all looking for into a lime blooded psychic!

JOHN: um... cultural significance im not aware of time?

REZI: l1m3 bloods 4r3 4 d1r3ct n4tur4l count3r to purpl3 bloods l1k3 g4mz33.

JOHN: ohhhh okay. gotcha

JOHN: vriska! i thought you weren't going to mind control people anymore!

VRISKA: she just kept CRYING, John! You know how I hate cry8a8ies!

JOHN: ...

REZI: ...

VRISKA: ........

VRISKA: fun fact, Jade was doing a pretty good job at ignoring me 8nyways.

VRISKA: turns out all that crying was good for something 8tle8st.

JOHN: i'm not quite sure that's the silver lining in all of this, you know.

REZI: 4gr33d.

VRISKA: Awwwwwwww come on, you two!!!!!!!!

**> How's Dave Doing?**

Poorly. I'll just be pretty candid here that his many attempts at cleaning off paint stripper from his body is one of the most stupid ways of getting the God Tiers that exists, and I'm not showing you guys that here. Good grief. Past me really was in one hell of a mood with this story originally.

Nobody needs to see this and it's pretty private anyways so- just ignore the glowing red light coming out of one of the dreamtower bedroom windows for the moment, alright?

**> JOHN: Is that EMISSARY OF THE HORRORTERRORS still on BACK-UP EARTH?**

As you wonder this (and then check the CAPTCHA'D PLANET for ZAPPING AWAY) Rezi continues to talk with Vriska. 

REZI: so 3xpl41n to m3 why you w3r3 h4r4ss1ng j4d3 4g41n?

VRISKA: She has to get you into the game so SHE can get into the game, it's basic math!

REZI: but vr1sk4...

VRISKA: Yes????????

REZI: n31th3r of us h4v3 to 3nt3r for 4noth3r f3w hours.

VRISKA: ....what?

REZI: john ch3ck3d 1t out MONTHS 4GO!

REZI: j4d3 4nd 1 dont 3nt3r for s3v3r4l mor3 hours.

REZI: th3 m3t3ors just dont com3 unt1l th3n so th3r3s no rush.

VRISKA: but that's not...

VRISKA: I was SURE it...

VRISKA: NO. YOU'RE LYING.

REZI: why would 1 l13 4bout th1s??

REZI: 4nd b3s1d3s th4t, don't you trust john? just 4sk h1m yours3lf 1f you don-

VRISKA: FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!

That's when she puts her left hand to her temple and flares up some psychic energy, knocking Rezi out of the dream bubbles.

She turns to look at you and WOW WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME. You ZAP away to a RANDOM POINT IN TIME.

**> Rezi: WAKE UP**

You wake up in a PROSPITIAN DREAM ROOM, almost nearly being blinded by a GLARING RED LIGHT.

You shift your DREAM GLASSES to filter it out, but it turns out it's just a SBURB MECHANIC being a SHITTY VISUAL OBSTRUCTION and thus CANNOT BE FILTERED.

It drops away a minute later, and DREAM DAVE is now GOD TIER DAVE OF GUY-- you mean KNIGHT OF TIME.

**> JACK: Contact AR for a mission.**

You get an AUTHORITY REGULATOR on the horn and put in an ORDER to keep the GEARS OF DERSE running smoothly while you're out on OFFICIAL ROYAL BUSINESS.

Basically, you're hornswaggling someone into doing all the PAPERWORK while you're out doing what you do best.

Being your CHARMING SELF.

The BLACK QUEEN enters your office.

[Hello, Jack,] she greets you. You give her as polite of a bow as you're able to manage without triggering your GAG REFLEXES. Gotta put on the Ritz here, after all. [Shall we discuss terms?] 

Yes, lets, you say and you pull out a seat from your DESK to offer her a place to sit down. She just sits down on the desk itself but okay whatever you've still got this.

  
**> Argosprite: Sit-rep?**

So, after shouting like that she basically just sort of floated there for several minutes, gazing off into space as the sprite code tried its best to suppress the whirling malestrom of thoughts.

Alas, it was basically a blue screen of code lock up- only an outside stimuli of a certain kind would kick her out of it annnnd

Cue the tiny mutant kitten slipping out of her mother's jackets- four eyes blink up and then it paws at Argo's new spritly tail. It doesn't have any ears, though, so it seems to have completely been unaware of the glass shattering scream from earlier.

Argo, of course, snaps out of the shock, finally, and scoops up the kitty and cuddles it.

She's going to be like this for a while more.

_*Side eyes the old reader audience that seemed to have an utter fascination with trying to poke characters out of well earned trauma grief moments because good grief were there some odd reader suggested commands here, just saying...*_

**> Be PS.**

You are now one of SEVERAL of THE WHITE QUEEN'S personal TASK FORCE of PROBLEM SOLVERS.

You BOSS is relaying info straight from HIS BOSS (The White Queen Herself) that someone has gone ROGUE and STOLEN A RING... as well as PROSPIT'S ENTIRE TREASURY.

You have the damnedest suspicion of who this traitor is, but you KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT while your BOSS is delivering the INFO.

You slip away after the meeting to ring up a close friend of yours... Okay, he's less a CLOSE FRIEND and more of a TANK MATE that you met in the CLONING LABS. He's a real DICK at times, but you can trust him to keep a secret like any ACE.

...But, of course the dumb idiot left his radio at home and forgot to take it into work today. So you're going to have to go see him in PERSON. Hopefully the guy isn't DICKING AROUND drinking HOT SAUCE again like the last time you went to see him at work. 

**> PS: Meet up with AD**

You take TRANSPORTALIZERS half way across the VEIL, until you find the self titled ACE DOUNCEER. You told him that he wanted "BOUNCER" instead, but the guy insisted. You just call him an ACE DICK to spite him.

He works as a BOUNCER for a CLONING LAB, not too dissimilar to the one you were BORN IN.

...Of course you find him drinking on the job... Thankfully not HOT SAUCE this time, at least. It's something more reasonable...

**_MAGNETIC WODKA._ **

There are stray pieces of metal stick to his body. The first thing out of your mouth is WHY?

He just flexes his biceps, and some STRAY JEWLERY comes flying from random directions.

Ah, you note that he's heard of the RING THIEF and hopes to swipe it via a MAGNETIC BODY.

**> Argosprite: Name mutant kitten.**

You name her TIKKI, because she has a face as adorable as TIKKI'S from LADYBUG. 

**> Tikki: Mew!**

She lets out the most adorable MIAO you have ever heard!!

**> Argosprite: Marvel at it's adorableness.**

SO.

CUTE.

X33

It's almost enough to make you forget about your... mom....

You use your SPRITE POWERS to quickly ABSCOND TO YOUR ROOM. You find your BED IS MISSING, because of course, but that doesn't matter now. You sit down where it would be and continue to HUGG THE TIKKI.

**> Dave: Talk to Rezi.**

Dave Levels up after godtiering- the first rung rings true: EARLY TO BED, EARLY TO RISE. He earns a badge on his newly added KIDDY CAMPER SASH: THE GIFT OF GAB.

...Yeah nobody's surprised by any of this.

Dave looks to the troll girl dream self, and speaks.

DAVE: so...

REZI: soooo...

DAVE: what now?

REZI: moons do not 4pp34r to b3 p4rt1cul4rly s4f3 r1ght now.

REZI: 1d sugg3st w3 v4moos3 to s4f3r grounds.

DAVE: i take it youve got some place in mind?

REZI: 4rgo's hous3.

DAVE: didnt she just get stabbed by the guy whos caused trouble everywhere??

REZI: 444h, but s33, sh3 1s now 4 spr1t3 4nd thus 1s 4bl3 to r3d1r3ct th3 3n3m13s 4w4y w1th fr1ght3n1ng 34s3!

DAVE: i aint even going to pretend to even guess how you know that

DAVE: but alright if you think thats the safest place i guess...

DAVE: wait, fuck i have to go back and body dump argo into the sprite dont i?

REZI: nop3.

REZI: h3r mom 4lr34dy took c4r3 of th4t.

DAVE: okay how the fuck do you even know that

REZI: B3C4US3.

REZI: 1'M TH3 S33R OF M1ND.

DAVE: you literally took your shades off just to put them back on was that even necessary??

REZI: y3s, d4v3.

REZI: y3s 1t w4s.

Dave: V4MOOS3 W/ DR34M3RS

Dave and Rezi each load up a sleeping GIRL on their backs, and then, Dave takes REZI'S hand to...

DAVE: i was gonna dramatically time travel us away but i dont have a time table on this body

REZI: you n33d to m4k3 4tl34st F1V3 t1m3t4bl3s, l1k3 4 s3ns1bl3 t1m3 tr4v3l3r, 4nd c4rry th3m 4t 4ll t1m3s.

DAVE: aint no way that will ever backfire on us.

They fly out, seeking an orientation direction from Skaia before heading towards the LAND OF LIGHT AND FORESTS. Naturally, they clear Prospit's moon just in time to watch a CATACLYSM de-chain the moon from the moon and hurtling into... no Defense Portal this time, just the battlefield.

**> AGENT OF PROSPIT: React to loss of MOON.**

You are now the PROSPITIAN CHAIN GUARD. 

You fall to your knees and cry a little bit as you watch the PROTOTYPED INFIDEL floating towards you with yet another CATACLYSM at the ready.

...Yeah, we don't need to see what CATACLYSM does to a LIVING BEING.

**> ARGOSPRITE: Just, keep calming down.**

There is a reason that cute cat pictures work, and that reason is in your arms purring right now.

Calm breaths. Deep Breaths.

**> ARGOSPRITE: Attempt to figure out he meaning of your MOTHER'S LAST WORDS.**

You aren't quite sure what those words meant, but you suppose you'll have to ASK JADE for... something??? Your mother's words got rather SLURRED at the end there. More so than... than... You can't do it. It's too soon.

**> Argosprite: Enter First Gate.**

Unfortunately, it seems that your current SPRITE STATUS is going to cause troubles. Already, your mind is being filled with warnings such as to NOT USE THE SPIROGRAPH GATES in your SPRITE FORM. You'll have to switch to your DREAM SELF if you want to progress properly, and even then there might be... ISSUES with doing that. Players aren't supposed to be PROTOTYPABLE unless its their DEAD DREAMSELF, LONG SINCE DEAD WITH NO EXTRA LIVES, or are from a DOOMED TIMELINE. 

You're thankfully not in the later category, but the first two make this rather odd that you were even prototyped in the first place.

The GAME doesn't quite know what to make of your status.

Are you a player or Sprite? It doesn't know for sure... But something about this situation feels... FURMILLIAR.

**> ARGOSPRITE: GREET FRIENDS.**

Friends? What??

That's when DAVE barges into your room with DREAM REZI, DREAM JADE, and DREAM YOU.

SWEET SHRODINGERS KITTEN CAUGHT IN A SPRITE PARADOX!!! THAT'S YOOOoooouuuu...... 

**> ARGO: Awaken.**  
  
Argosprite faints and awakens immediately as her dream self, clutching her head with a groan. 

"Owww... Headacheee..."   
  
She climbs a ladder rung on the echeladder thing--- _POP ME OPEN A CAN OF SPRITEKNOWLEDGE_. And then a rung further to the _INFORMATION OVERLADY_ run and then ONE MORE to _GUYS, I KNOW SPRITE-FU._  
  
Yeah, the Echeladder is pretty much busted at this point.  
  
Before anyone can say anything else- Pesterchum rings from one of Argo's various devices.  
  
 **> Argo: Answer Pesterchum.**

UU: oh, kittens! why didn't i think of that?

UU: my appologies for psychically calming yoU, withoUt permission.

UU: a thoUsand, thoUsand apologies.

AC: ummm.

AC: what??

UU: oh! yoU're finally messaging me back.

UU: please accept my sincerest apologies!

AC: you keep repeating that.

AC: what do you have to be sorry for?

UU: oh, consarn it I'm still doing it aren't I??

UU: sorry sorry so very sorry.

AC: i mean i feel fine and everyth....

AC: WHAT THE FUCK

AC: WERE YOU MIND CONTROLLING ME OR SOMETHING!?

UU: jUst applying a calming measUre, that's all UnU

UU: that's as far as my abilities go and i woUld never push them fUrther than that.

UU: please Understand that I UsUally ask permission to apply any calming powers to anyone bUt yoU weren't responding to my messages so i had to try even if it was fUtile for the most part.

UU: it WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN, not unless you're on the verge of serious mental breakdown and literally cannot answer me, I can assUre yoU!

AC: :||

AC: ....apology mostly forgiven, i guess.

AC: I mihafhsad

UU: oh, oh no

AC: urgh... i almost fainted again, but then i felt calm and...

AC: was that you again just now?

UU: sorry sorrry

UU: yes that was me,

AC: hey, um,

AC: that was actually kind of unpleasant.

AC: the fainting thing

AC: the psychic calming thing was actually kind of nice.

AC: and... i only really feel it right now when im thinking about the whole sprite clone thing.

UU: yes, im directly focUsing it right now on that aspect alone.

UU: yoU are in qUite the odd sitUation here.

UU: UsUally a sprite prototyping disconnects the player from their dreamself

UU: i'm not qUite sUre what went wrong with this resUrrection to caUse this.

AC: um, if it's alright, you don't need to ask permission if I start to faint because of this again

AC: okay?

UU: yes, okay, that's completely doable.

UU: i'll let yoU talk with your friends becaUse it seems like dave is trying to talk with yoU right now

AC: oh, yeah, thanks, i almost forgot they were even here.

**> Argo: Notice Dave's God Tier threads.**

ARGO: sup

DAVE: sup

REZI: H3LLO!

JADE: zzzzz....

ARGO: ...

DAVE: ...

REZI: ...

ARGO: wow, this was not how i expected my birthday visit with jade to be going.

DAVE: i dont think any of us were expecting this, really.

REZI: 1 W4S!

JADE: zzznnnnooo i donwanna gofighdwagonz.....

REZI: should w3 go to 4noth3r room, or....?

DAVE: nah, safest room in the house right here

ARGO: debatably true?

REZI: XP

DAVE: so.... you're part sprite now?

ARGO: urgh, please don't bnring that up right now

ARGO: i have that UU troll using her psychic powers to keep me from spazzing out because of it

ARGO: why is life always so complicated?

REZI: b3c4us3...

REZI: SHUT UP.

REZI: SHUT UP 1S WHY.

ARGO: :O

DAVE: damn it, rezi, we all know that's a bullshit excuse

ARGO: speaking of excuses, just how far along into the game are you even to be god tiered!?

ARGO: and WHY do I know that term....wait, fuck, no, I know WHY.

Argo and her Sprite body Double speak at the same time as Argo clutches at her head- "Stupid Sprite knowledge programming!"

DAVE: well that wasn't creepy at all

REZI: it was like listening to a movie in surround sound stereo

JADE: mrrrrhhhh... badcat, worstenemy...zzz...

ARGO: ARGH!!! I hate this!! :((

ARGO: stupid spritey nonsense isnt even working right

ARGO: can we change subjects now???

DAVE: so yeah changing subjects

DAVE: im pretty early on, i think.

DAVE: i haven't gone back to be the me that saved our asses back on derse yet so

DAVE: who knows how that even happens

REZI: 1 C4N T3LL YOU TH4T 1T 1NVOLV3S 4 FROG T3MPL3.

DAVE: what??

REZI: S33R POW3RS 1NFORM M3 TH4T YOU'R3 GONN4 V1S1T 4 FROG T3MPL3 CH4S1NG 4FT3R TH4T GUY.

REZI: 4lso, 1 s4w you 3m3rg1ng from 4 lotus blossom w1th my own 3y3s.

DAVE: how complex is this time loop anyways??

REZI: SO V3RY COMPL3X 1 C4NT 3V3N 3XPL14N 1T S1MPLY.

ARGO: so super very complex

REZI: SO SUP3R V3RY FUCK1NG COMPL3X

Argo and Terezi highfive with a "HIGH F1V3!" exclamation.

DAVE: this is going to take all month, isnt it?

JADE: zzznnnnmmmhhhfff.... yupyupyup...

DAVE: thank you, jade, for that stunning revelation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vriska is *really* getting the short end of the stick here due to the earlier disrespectful reader commands. I wouldn't normally be writing her this way, but ended up having to have some vehicle for the more brutal of the reader commands, of which sometimes those were all I was getting. Needless to say this is the first and last reader command submitted text adventure i'm ever writing.  
> \---  
> Yeah, Past me REALLY needed a lot of help. I'm appalled by how blatant some of the things I've cut out here are. Past me was *really* thinking about some dark shit. Good grief. 
> 
> This whole thing feels like a continuing chain of trauma directed at these poor kids. 2016 wasn't a good year for me, no-sir-ee. 
> 
> I think I was probably venting out a lot of stuff into this fic. Eesh.  
> \---
> 
> But hey, it's all worth it and we've got all four kids on screen now. How about that.


	15. ACT 3: Take Your Loredumps, would ya!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the Explain Shit To People Chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Lots of Emotional Chitchat about Things that were.  
> Past Life Memories.  
> Less a Time Loop, more of a time SNARL at this point.  
> Old Friends not recognizing you.

**> MS. PAINT: REACT, from a distance**.

Be MS. PAINT? Are you mad? You can no more BE MS. PAINT than you can *BE* a *WEBSITE!* She is an artistic mind so complex that our mere mortal brains cannot even comprehend!  
  
But, if we could be her, if just for a moment, these would be her thoughts:

The MOON OF PROSPIT is NO MORE.

You're going to have to update the WALL OF HISTORY MURAL to include BOTH moons crashing into Skaia now.

And that's in addition to all the time travel shenanigans going on.

History is a complex thred of fate woven time and time again into KNOTS.

Why, just look at this one dangling thread. WHERE did this ROGUE PROSPITIAN even get those POINTED SHADES from???

**> BRO: Misplace your shades.**

Misplace? Why would he do that??

He's pondering the idea of misplacing his shades when someone COLD CLOCKS him from out of a time travel warp.

Dirk's SHADES go FLYING and he drops his sword out of shock. What a ROOKIE MISTAKE.

While he's REELING, a PROTOTYPED INTRUDER SWIPES HIS SWAG and TIME TRAVELS AWAY.

What was even the point of that?? What a jerk. 

**> JOHN: Where are you?**

You're not quite sure. You got a bit turned around on the trip out of the bubbles and you're... kinda lost?

It LOOKS like a SBURB session, but it isn't one that you've seen before. SEVEN PLANETS is a really ODD NUMBER for a SBURB SESSION. Maybe not all of the players have entered??

**> John: investigate DERSE**

You turn into the BREEZE and blow your way to DERSE for some RECONNAISSANCE.

You peek into a RANDOM DREAM TOWER just to see who's in here, in case it's someone you KNOW, because what would be the odds??

This particular tower is EMPTY, however. Not even a BED or a DESK to make the room HOME. You BREEZE through it, eliciting a WHISTLE SOUND from the windows.

You INVESTIGATE another tower. Empty once again, but at least this time the ROOM shows signs of HABITATION. 

Inside this room are a bunch of MOVIE POSTERS with ALTERNIAN TEXT!

Alternian! That means TROLLS!!

You breeze out to make a quick count of the DREAMER TOWERS. You count a grand total of SIX TOWERS! 

**> John: Investigate another tower**

You choose a random tower and get quite the shock at its occupant.

There, sitting cross legged across from herself in the middle of the room, working on some DREAM KNITTING, is a TROLL VERSION OF ROSE!!! Twice!! One is dressed in the usual DERSE DREAM CLOTHES, while the other is wearing some SIMILARLY PURPLE CLOTHING of a distinctly non Dreamer Weave.

[Holy shit she looks kind of cute as a troll. ](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/d5a9fc5f-de39-44d0-8556-0c5340901fb1/da5cd94-70b92b91-ecd9-432d-8078-11ab40c20353.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJpc3MiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwic3ViIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsImF1ZCI6WyJ1cm46c2VydmljZTpmaWxlLmRvd25sb2FkIl0sIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiIvZi9kNWE5ZmM1Zi1kZTM5LTQ0ZDAtODU1Ni0wYzUzNDA5MDFmYjEvZGE1Y2Q5NC03MGI5MmI5MS1lY2Q5LTQzMmQtODA3OC0xMWFiNDBjMjAzNTMucG5nIn1dXX0._pyh0G0EHB1RJ57j0JuXh1em8I4Oqq3GVzEoB0epyWM)

out here, don't you?" Troll Rose intones from her DREAM SELF. 

"You might as well just manifest physically," her WAKING SELF says without missing a beat, or skipping a stitch in her KNITTING. "Else I might mistake you for the invader that has been running amok in our session."

Welp. Rose always was a sharp one. That's probably doubly true now, what with her managing to run two waking selves at the same time. What's even up with that??

**> JOHN: Talk to ROSE.**

You transform from WIND to BOY, hands held up in a non threatening manner. You don't know how much she remembers, after all, if anything.

JOHN: uh, hi?

RHOZEE(D): Well, isn't this a surprise.

RHOZEE(W): I've been visited by an Alien God Tier from yet another Sburb Session.

RHOZEE(D): Question: what are you doing so far from home, Heir of Breath?

JOHN: uh, well, truth be told i was in the dream bubbles and met a rather angry ghost, so i just ran away as fast as i could

JOHN: wound up here, decided to check it out, end of story.

RHOZEE(W): Cerulean Blooded? Sans an Arm and two horns?

JOHN: yeah, that sounds like her.

RHOZEE(D): You are forgiven for your intrusion into our Session, then. We have seen... echoes of her around here on Derse.

RHOZEE(W): She is quite upset over one of our players having supposedly having ruined one of her plans in the past.

RHOZEE(D): Aranea is, of course, completely unaware of having done anything.

JOHN: aranea? aranea serket??

RHOZEE(W): That would be her. Yes.

RHOZEE(D): I take it you know her?

JOHN: umm... sort of

JOHN: i knew a ghost version of her who caused me and my friends some trouble.

JOHN: but she's dead. double dead, i mean.

RHOZEE(W): Interesting, that a ghost could be double dead.

RHOZEE(D): There is a story behind that, but I will investigate later.

RHOZEE(W): Regardless, I have some context now for our current troubles.

ROHZEE(D): I do believe we can introduce ourselves now, Heir of Breath.

RHOZEE(W): I am Rhozee LLonde, Seer of Light, and you are?

JOHN: john egbert,

JOHN, nice to meet you, rose, that's a nice name.

JOHN: um, could you repeat the last name, though?

JOHN: it sounds complicated.

RHOZEE(D): Thank You. It took Lots of Practice to get right.

RHOZEE(W): Luh-Lohn-deh.

JOHN: oh, okay that's what i thought you said.

JOHN: so.... what's this problem you've been having?

RHOZEE(D): A Rogue Agent.

RHOZEE(W): It seems to be a Prototyping Ring wearing Carapacian, with the confounding ability to turn invisible at will.

JOHN: is the ring broken in any way?

RHOZEE(D): No.

RHOZEE(W): All four orbs are intact and active.

JOHN: well, okay that's good then.

JOHN: it's not from my session... er... yeah,

JOHN: our chain doesn't have any invisibility powers, just...

JOHN: cat-based bad luck powers.

JOHN: also, the white queen's ring is broken.

RHOZEE(D): I would love to observe these powers in action at some point.

RHOZEE(W): Then that is all the questions I have for you. I will let my teammates know that, should you see them, you are not a threat.

JOHN: good to know.

JOHN: ...

JOHN: ....

JOHN: .....

JOHN: um--

RHOZEE(D): You are free to go now.

RHOZEE(W): I'd imagine you're itching to find our problem and attempt to remove it in the same way as however you actually got into our session.

JOHN: okay then, im just gonna go... then...

RHOZEE(D): Wait.

JOHN: huh????

RHOZEE(W): ...

RHOZEE(D): Should you ever find a need to return to our session, my Powers say you should focus on the word, "INDOMINUS."

RHOZEE(W): ....

RHOZEE(D): I do not know why this particular word means anything to the situation at hand, or why you would ever need to return, but as a Seer of Light, I foresee the most fortuitous path, and the best path for all of us starts with me giving you that word.

JOHN: "INDOMINUS"... got it.

JOHN: thanks, rose!

RHOZEE(W): ....

RHOZEE(D): I do not know why, but I feel inclined to say, 'You're welcome, John.'

JOHN: :)

JOHN: later, rose!

**> BRO: ALCHEMIZE some new shades and a new sword.**

He Deso That. Good thing he memorized those codes BY HEART, at Roxy's Insistence.

**> FUTURE DAVE: Take care of that extra DAVE corpse.**

He gives the guy a PROPER BURIAL. Which is to say, he give his PAST-SELF a Proper Burial.

God. Damn. Time Travel.

**> JOHN: Investigate.**

You Do the Windy Thing and HEAD OUT into the SESSION, looking for something that the Breeze identifies as FOREIGN to the session. It's not hard- each session has its own SMELL to it, and this Session is PREDOMINANTLY TROLL, so... the only out are YOU, anddd....

There the plucky intruder is.

You Find them floating over the space where a PLANET will SOON ENTER, with clear intent to CAUSE HARM. They are TALL, INTIMIDATING, and they have a LONG, LIZARD LIKE TAIL. You can't see their ARMS from here, but their BACK is covered in LONG, SPIKY QUILLS. They're a PROSPITIAN, you think, going by the WHITE CARAPACE... but it's off-white. More GREY than WHITE, actually. Could it be a DERSITE prototyped with something that had white skin?

But what would that even be??

That's when you hear the CARAPACIAN give off a rather TERRIFYING GROWL. It's reptilian and human all in the same breath.

Then, you see arms moving out to the side... Hands, tipped with claws, elbows, tipped with more spiky quills.

The thing turns its head, and you realize that the Carapacian's Face has been ELONGATED by the PROTOTYPING into something.... 

You almost want to say it looks like a VELOCIRAPTOR, if a Velociraptor had WAY TOO MANY TEETH and RED EYES that GLOW.

There's a clicking sound, and then the Prototyped Monster lets loose an [UNNATURAL ROAR](https://youtu.be/YINpY5Lxz0s?t=33).

It is NOT HAPPY about your intrusion into its air space, and it has LET YOU KNOW.

Whatever this one prototyping is, it seems to have overridden all the others, because you CAN'T SEE any other sign of the other THREE ORBS effects on the Carapacian.

That's when it turns INVISIBLE and you're forced to put up a GALE-FORCE SHIELD around you to keep an idea of where the thing is.

**> JOHN: Grab the MONSTER and shove it in to the GREEN SUN.**

WHAT GREEN SUN????

The GREEN SUN is DEFINITELY DECEASED.

You're PINING FOR THE FJORDS if you think the GREEN SUN is even still a THING.

The GREEN SUN is BLEEDING DEMISED. IT HAS PASSED ON. THE GREEN SUN IS NO MORE. It has CEASED TO BE. IT HAS GONE AND BECOME THE CAGE OF ITS MAKER. It is as BEREFT OF LIFE as a BLACK HOLE CAN BE. The Very CONCEPT of a GREEN SUN presently RESTS IN PIECES across the FURTHEST RING. If it WEREN'T A BLACK HOLE, It would be PUSHING UP DAISIES.

The CURTAINS HAVE CLOSED, and the GHOST ARMY is SINGING AS THE FUNERAL CHOIR.

IT IS QUITE SIMPLY, AN EX-SUN!!

Plus, as previously mentioned, ANY ATTEMPTS to go back to when it was a THING have resulted in you winding up SOMEWHERE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. You couldn't shove this PROTOTYPED MONSTER into the SUN even if you wanted to... besides that. you'd have to CATCH this PROTOTYPED MONSTER first, and it is being a PESKY SNEAK.

**> FUTURE DAVE: PROTOTYPE your SPRITE.**

Dave's not doin' NOTHING to that SPRITE. It's caught up in a TIME LOOP and his GUT INSTINCT says LET IT SORT ITSELF OUT.

**> JOHN: Consider that you could still through the monster into the BLACK HOLE, if you managed to catch it.**

Somehow you get the feeling that would be a BAD IDEA!! 

You've generally avoided making a mess of things in the multiverse by avoiding those BAD IDEAS. 

Besides, all you really have to do is get that RING away from it.

**> DAVE: Fast forward to now?**

You're going to have to be more clear than that. Which Dave, and which "Now"? Because by "Fastforwarding" you could be going BACKWARDS by simple nature of jumping to a different DAVE who is CHRONOLOGICALLY further ahead, but TEMPORALLY in the past.

**> ARGO: Continue conversation.**

DAVE: did anyone just get the weirdest feeling that someone was trying to cause a paradox just now?

REZI: nop3.

ARGO: kinda??

DAVE: okay good it wasnt just me then

DAVE: imma just ignore it for now.

DAVE: so, what now?

ARGO: i dunno

ARGO: sprite programing says we're supposed to ASCEND and BUILD, and I guess I can do that for your house, dave,

ARGO: but rezi needs to wake up if she wants to build my house along

REZI: w3'll n33d gr1st for bu1ld1ng.

REZI: why dont w3 l3t d4v3 h4ndl3 th4t for 4 wh1l3, v14 t1m3 tr4v3l

DAVE: might as well get a head start on closing some loops anyways.

DAVE: like the god tier thing i just did

DAVE: pretty sure i gotta go burry my own body...

DAVE2: yup, that you did.

DAVE: holy shit its another me

DAVE2: yes yes, now you gotta go back and take care of that mess

DAVE2: then come back and be me

DAVE: okay later

**> DAVE: REWIND**

PRESENT DAVE becomes PAST FUTURE DAVE, leaving FUTURE DAVE to be PRESENT DAVE.

...Time Travel Headaches.

ARGO: you dont mean immediately come back, did you?

DAVE: nah,

DAVE: been a few hours by now.

DAVE: i went and killed some monsters for grist.

DAVE: just sort of looped the same half hour over and over again in different parts of the world

DAVE: gotta ascend those god tiers after all

ARGO: makes sense

REZI: 4NNNYYYW444YSSS...

REZI: W3 N33D TO T4LK 4BOUT SOM3TH1NG.

REZI: JUST TO CL34R UP 4NY CONFUS1ON.

ARGO: is it about the guy in blue who looked like jades' older brother?

REZI: Y3S.

DAVE: hold up what older brother

ARGO: i saw him bringing jade back to the dream tower just before i got sleep-stabbed by PI.

DAVE: pi?

ARGO: P.I. is what the game code IDs him as right now.

ARGO: it could stand for any number of variable things.

DAVE: right okay so jade's non existent brother?

REZI: H1S N4M3 1S JOHN. H3'S...

REZI: H3 1S TH3 ONLY SURV1VOR FROM TH3 PR3V1OUS 1TT3R4T1ON OF R34L1TY.

REZI: PHYS1CALLY, 1 M34N.

REZI: H3 W4S UNSTUCK FROM R34L1TY WH3N 4 GHOST 4RMY FOUGHT 4 D3MON.

REZI: TH3 3ND R3SULT W4S 4 SUN TH3 S1Z3 OF TWO UN1V3RS3S B31NG COMPL3T3LY 3R4S3D FROM 3X1S3NC3.

DAVE: that sounds... kinda fucking important

ARGO: .....

REZI: 1T W4S.

REZI: B4S1C4LLY, TH3 SUPPORT P1LL4R 1N TH3 HOUS3 OF C4RDS W4S KNOCK3D OUT 4ND 1T 4LL C4M3 TUMBL1NG DOWN.

REZI: JOHN W4S L3FT B3H1ND WH3N TH3 MULT1V3RS3 R3BU1LT 1TS3LF.

ARGO: we've all done this before haven't we?

ARGO: we've done this whole sburb thing before.

ARGO: we've done the 'fight against the monster' thing

ARGO: is that why we're so screwed up right now???

REZI: ....y3s.

REZI: 1 h4v3... *I* have memories of the old universe.

REZI: twice over, actually.

DAVE: holy shit you just turned back into a human

ARGO: ...i wasn't going to say anything about the horns or the hair, dave.

ARGO: we're using dream bodies, remember??

DAVE: oh... right.

REZI: i just wanted to make a visual distinction.

REZI: two different worlds, only one of which included the game we're playing and...

REZI: it gets hard to keep them separate, being a seer of mind

REZI: troll me- what you guys were seeing up til now- is who i was before all of this got rebooted

REZI: i wanted to make this clear, right now, that im speaking, or trying to, as the me that's grown up in this version of reality.

REZI: that me is human so...

ARGO: that's okay.

DAVE: so out of all of us, were we any different to how we are now?

DAVE: like, was i a girl before?

DAVE: was i a troll girl?

DAVE: are we all secretly trolls in another life?

REZI: you and jade were both human.

REZI: john is jade's brother, but because he got left behind when it all got restructured, he doesn't properly exist in this reality anymore.

REZI: argo... you're kinda unique.

ARGO: what else is new

REZI: you were both a troll girl named Nepeta, and...

REZI: a doomed timeline dave who was prototyped in his sprite.

DAVE: wait what

REZI: 1M NOT F1N1SH3D.

DAVE: scool, holding questions til the end

REZI: near the end of it all, nepeta died, and got prototyped into a sprite...

REZI: those two sprites met and, well, accidentally prototyped each other.

ARGO: i REMEMBER that

ARGO: holy shit it's kinda vague but i kinda remember that

DAVE: is it weird that i kinda remember that too?

DAVE: cause it feels weird that i remember that

REZI: it gets weirder cause i only heard about this from roses self prototyped sprite

DAVE: whos rose?

REZI: your sister

REZI: or, she was

DAVE: ive got a sister???

REZI: i dunno where she is right now

ARGO: ...maybe she's a troll?

REZI: ...m4yb3.

REZI: 1 suppos3 th4t would m4k3 s3ns3. som3 k1nd of s33r sw4p.

ARGO: so wheres john at?

REZI: everywhere, nowhere.

REZI: he's unstuck from reality itself

REZI: while for us we weren't conscious of how long it took...

REZI: JOHN H4D TO W41T 1T THROUGH TH3 3NT1R3 T1M3.

REZI: h3's...

REZI: he doesn't feel like he belongs here anymore

REZI: 1m not surpr1s3d h3 h3lp3d j4d3 out.

REZI: h3 f3lt b4d 4bout how h3 3nd3d up l34v1ng h3r 4lon3 for so long.

REZI: but that's another story for another time

REZI: 4nyw4ys

REZI: 1mm4 gonn4 w4k3 up now 4nd g3t to d3ploy1ng gr1sttorr3nt so w3 c4n sh4r3 th3 gr1st 4round.

REZI: DON'T L3T M3 G3T T3L3-ST4BB3D, OK4Y???

ARGO: wait, rezi-!

**> REZI: peace out**

You sit down and ZONE OUT before either Dave or Argo can say anything. If there's one thing you're GOOD AT, it's delivering a LOT OF INFO and then ABSCONDING.

You WAKE UP back in the ATRIUM. 

A few moments later, ARGO and DAVE both begin pestering you FURIOUSLY.

Metaphorically for DAVE, LITERALLY for ARGO, because she just found your DING DONG DITCHED APOLOGY while trying to get you to return back to the conversation that had been at hand.

You just ignore it. You'll probably get HELL for it later but oh well. You're not feeling up to DEALING WITH THOSE EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW.

**> ARGO: REMEPURR.**

It's FUZZY, but you're starting to remember the OCCASIONAL BIT of both DAVESPRITE and NEPETA'S lives, mostly NEPETA'S, though. You alternate between trying to get REZI to reply to you and checking with DAVE about things HE'S ALSO NOW REMEMBERING to see what lines of of your DAVESPRITE memories.

**> DAVE + ARGO: Talk about REZI **

ARGO: is it weird that im remembering being a sad, depressed bird boy ghost thing

ARGO: and yet right now im pretty sure neither of us are THAT kind of depressed/sad except for Rezi and Jade??

DAVE: if you and me, even if it was a weird doomed bird clone version of me, really did share a brain, then, well

DAVE: im pretty sure we sorted all that shit out already in the last timeline

DAVE: now rezi im more concerned about

DAVE: ive barely got a fragment of a full set but if shes got two whole extra lives who knows how thats screwin with her head

ARGO: mmh. she really didnt give us a chance to talk to her about that

ARGO: just info dumped and ran

DAVE: lets not mention any of this to jade until were sure shes more mentally stable alright?

ARGO: did you even have to ask?

DAVE: damn it she's still not responding

ARGO: me either

ARGO: i even said i was sorry about the cat thing!

DAVE: what cat thing?

ARGO: ... Nothing. Nothing at all.

ARGO: it was an accident and i said i was sorry so can we please drop it??

ARGO: its not like i have a spare sprite available right now or anything.

DAVE: fair'nough

**> REZI: M8RSHA M8RSHA M8RSHA**

You ignore a FLOOD OF PSYCHIC THOUGHTS being flung at you from a certain SPIDER TROLL.

UGH, she just won't leave you alone. Not like this is going to do any good for your current SELF ESTEEM.

You force yourself to ignore it all and just BUILD UP Argo's HOUSE.

**> TIKKI: Just, keep being cute.**

Though your master has duplicated herself, her ghostly arms still hold you and pet you. You are CONTENT to keep PURRING happily.

**> BRO: Just, keep being awesome.**

He does your very best at keeping HOUSE in the most AWESOMEST way ever.

The LARGER MONSTERS seem to be keeping their distance now that the HOUSE is GROWING taller and taller with each minute. The IMPS however, just swarm like rats.

The ones that behave, he leaves be, the ones who STEP OUTTA LINE get SHREDDED FOR GRIST. It's more the latter than the former.

**> PM: Arrive on LOHAC.**

That's when a PARCEL MISTRESS appears suddenly, evidently having used a RETURN NODE elsewhere to come here. 

She walks up to him and, with a small nod of her head, HANDS DIRK A LETTER addressed to DAVE.

This looks SUSPICIOUSLY like a ROYAL DECREE. 

He asks the NICE POST LADY to stay for a moment while he RINGS UP DAVE.

TT: Dave.

TG: what

TT: You've got mail.

TG: let me rephrase that

TG: what the fuck??

TT: I'm just going to read it to you.

TT: Dear KNIGHT OF TIME,

TT: (That's you, by the way.)

TT: As you may be aware, a ROGUE AGENT has STOLEN the RING of the WHITE QUEEN.

TT: (That's the writer of this letter, as an FYI.)

TT: This ROGUE AGENT has caused an untold amount of damage to both PROSPIT AND DERSE, and so, it is my ROYAL DUTY to impart upon you the MOST IMPORTANT QUEST you will undertake as a ROYAL PRINCE.

TG: oh come the fuck on this is a really round about way to give me a fucking quest letter

TT: (You're the Time Knight. It only makes sense this would be convoluted as Fuck.)

TT: Your MISSION, as a DUELY APPOINTED DEPUTY of SKAIA, is to HUNT DOWN the PROTOTYPED INFIDEL and DISARM HIM of his STOLEN PROPERTY.

TG: ...disarming you say?

TT: Upon retrieval of the ROYAL RING, you may keep it as collateral, however, to complete the MISSION, you must bring the INFIDEL to the PROSPITIAN PRISON BLOCK for CRIMES AGAINST SKAIA.

TT: Sincerely, the White Queen of PROSPIT.

TG: well, tell her quest fuckin' accepted.

TT: Will do.

Dirk tells the PARCEL MISTRESS to tell the Queen that DAVE ACCEPTS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally getting the plot in gear here and we can put aside silly strife shenanigans.
> 
> Also, hey, the previous Jurassic World nods aren't just background filler but actually foreshadowing. How about that.
> 
> This is one chaotic time snarl, that's for sure.  
> ...
> 
> Oh Hey, it's a wild "fair enough!" I wonder if that's the first one or if I wrote more in past stuff? I've poked fun at my usage of Fair Enough enough times in Stargate Alternia. I don't think I was so aware of it at the time. I really do say that alot, don't I?


	16. ACT 3: Do the Act Act Acts even matter?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Determibent where the Plots are Made Up On the Fly and the Acts Don't matter. 
> 
> "Everybody wants to be a Member of the Midnight Crew."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Jack Noir being Jack Noir.  
> Murder.  
> Theft.  
> Kidnapping.  
> No, this is not a joke.  
> Musical Sequence that is NOT TIMED to the Text like I usually do it! Fair warning.

**> AR: Paperwork.**

You are an AUTHORITY REGULATOR.... normally you work on PATROL to KEEP CRIMINALS IN LINE. Unfortunately, you've been WRANGLED into taking care of the PAPERWORK side of things... So you're REGULATING AUTHORITY through the PAPERWORK OF IT ALL.

UGH.

This is NOT your day. There's a CRIMINAL OUT THERE and you're STUCK.

Where's that DOUCHEBAG who put you in this position anyways???

**> JN: Continue meeting.**

You are back to being JACK NOIR just in time to be given the ROYAL RING and a NEW TITLE.

You are now the Royal SOVERIGN'S personal SLAYER.

[Don't screw it up, Jack,] the QUEEN preens at you as she leaves.

You give the Queen a bow before leaving your office as well, ring in hand, just waiting to be PUT ON. But Patience is KEY. You gotta prove to the BLACK QUEEN that you're NOT GOING TO TURN ON HER SUDDENLY and to do that you keep the ring OFF until you're well out of her LINE OF SIGHT.

**> SS + DD + HB + CD: Enact plan.**

You get the DIGNITARY on the horn and tell him that STEP ONE is DONE. You HAVE the RING.

The Dignitary says, Good for You, Jack. You correct him saying you're the SLAYER now, so you'd better respect your QUEEN GIVEN TITLE while the Queen STILL BREATHES.

Which will be for precisely as long as it takes to STOP THIS MADNESS.

The Dignitary says, he knows.

The BRUTE checks in saying that the KNIGHT has been CONTRACTED by PROSPIT for the JOB as well.

You say, good on Prospit to be on the same wavelength for a change. You tell the DROLL to DELIVER A SIMILAR LETTER, because it's time to start STEP TWO of the plan.

Let the HUNT BEGIN.

**> PS + AD: Discuss PI.**

You tell the DICK that your former friend the ROYAL PICKLE INSPECTOR has been pulled into something rather.... INSANE. 

AD can't believe it. The INSPECTOR? Really?? That Guy who can barely lift a knife to peel a potato??

Yes, You say, THAT GUY. He's the one going around causing all this trouble.

Huh, AD says, that's something.... else. Was it brainwashing or something? 

You're inclined to agree, since he spent the LAST FEW MONTHS skipping out on your WEEKLY NIHGTS OUT. Something clearly went wrong but what? 

Who knew such a KIND GUY could go SO BAD. AD remarks. It's like LUIGI in PAPER MARIO getting BRAINWAHSED/HYPNOTIZED to ACT BAD.

You say it's like who in the what now?

AD just gives you a slow, long blink, then launches into one of his PATENTED RANTS THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT.

**> MS. PAINT: Tie up lose thread.**

You cannot be MS. PAINT, but she paints her MURAL just the same.

**> PI: Reveal plan.**

Step Five. Eliminate the remaining DREAM SELVES.

Can't go leaving an EASY ROUTE for the kids to GOD TIER now, can you?

Especially since you BLEW UP THE MOONS with the QUEST CRYPTS. Those things are LONG GONE.

**> PI: Appear.**

You are now suddenly ARGO as the PROSPITIAN INTRUDER suddenly BURSTS IN through the WELDED WINDOW.

Dave Draws his sword, and you jump into your SPRITE SELF to attack him.

The INTRUDER raises his ring and ACTIVATES CATACLYSM.

**> ARGOSPRITE: Fight Fire With Fire**

You activate your OWN VERSION of CATACLYSM and throw your FIST to meet PI'S.

**> Bad Luck: EXPONENTIAL CHAOS**

The two CATACLYSMS meet, and it causes a FUNNY THING to happen.

The INFILTRATOR'S stolen time table ACTIVATES with a WIDE RANGE WARPING TIME EXPLOSION.

Everyone is THROWN HALF AN HOUR in EITHER DIRECTION, and land in VARIOUS PLACES ACROSS THE MEDIUM. 

It was definitely NOT a stable time jump, because EVERYONE is disoriented by the landing.

Dave and the INTRUDER land somewhere on LOHAC, in the FUTURE. Both are dazed but it's the moment a FUTURE DAVE was waiting in ambush for. He Leaps out from behind a GIANT GEAR-BASED LAVA-FALL and grabs at the clearly unstable TIME TABLE. It BREAKS sending both the Future Dave and the INTRUDER into another TIME JUMP, kicking off yet another STABLE TIME LOOP.

Present Dave just blinks owlishly behind his shades before he makes note of where and when he is. 

**> SPIDER8ITCH: Count GHOSTS.**

You can do that on two hands, EASY; not counting yourself there are only about SEVEN OTHER GHOSTS left in the FURTHEST RING. 

Very FEW GHOSTS exist in the RING these days. Most of them ended up SWALLOWED UP by whatever happened to REALITY when the GREEN SUN went POOF. 

  
**> SOMEONE: Take care of MOM's corpse. **

A FUTURE DAVE takes care of that, carrying her forwards to a moment in time where ARGO is feeling up to holding a FUNERAL. 

  
**> Argosprite: Examine Surroundings**

You WOUND UP in the PROSPITIAN DREAM CRYPT along with TIKKI and your DREAM SELF.

There are TWO QUEST BEDS here, one for MIND, one for SPACE. 

**> PI: Hunt the sleeping dreamself**

You're too busy RUNNING AWAY from the GOD TIER KNIGHT to worry about that part of the mission JUST YET. 

Damn it, when did this kid go God Tier?? So Early in the session too... URGH. This is what you get for NOT CONFIRMING THE KILLS.

**> Future Dave: Start Royal Quest**

You CHASE THIS GUY across the INCIPISPHERE and across TIME. Every now and again you APPEAR in the background of some RANDOM EVENT, dueling to the supposed death in an attempt to CATCH THIS GUY.

You loose SO MANY TIME TABLES in the process of this. 

Then, you wind up knocking him into a TIME CAPSULE in a FROG TEMPLE and, well, we all know how THAT ended up. (An Impaled Crow Prototyped and a ROGUE ARM captchalogued.)

Now comes the hard part, DELIVERING THE GUY to PRISON.

Your current TEMPORAL TUSSLING has landed you on DERSE at about the same time as PAST YOU is getting the LETTER from the WHITE QUEEN through your BRO.

**> Rezi: Examine surroundings.**

You're still in the Atrium. You get the weirdest feeling that even if you tried falling asleep you'd just go to the dream bubbles for the next half hour or something.

**> REZI: Reflect on GUARDIAN/ANCESTOR.**

Your Quote unquote "ADOPTIVE GRANDFATHER" was last seen taking a BOAT back to the mainland after documenting the RUNES in the FROG TEMPLE.

You used a little WINDY DISTRACTION to escape and STAY ISLAND BOUND. He surely thinks you went OVERBOARD and were LOST AT SEA.

Which is probably why he never came back to the island since. You hope the old man decided to live a happy life with his REAL WIFE AND CHILDREN. 

You take the opportunity to head up to your room, and maybe later the ATTIC LAB, the MUNDANE WAY, via stairs.

This will probably take until the end of this post.

_That may or may not mean anything to you depending on your current viewing mode._

**> JOHN: What are you up to?**

Still trying to figure out where the PROTOTYPED MONSTER is!

At the very least, you've kept it from attacking a RECENTLY ENTERED PLANET.

Seriously, where is this thing? You're beginning to think it frightened you in an attempt to get you to STAY PUT!!!

**> BEATRICE: Exist.**

You are BEATRICE. You are a Cat.

MEOW.

You EXIST... But you do not know where you are exactly.

Because, as previously mentioned.  
  
You. Are. A. Cat.

:3

**> VRISKA: Who are the other ghosts?**

Just some L8ME HUMANS who you've been ignoring, and a CHERUB inside that BLACK HOLE.

**> PM: Return to PROSPIT**

You are now the PROTOTYPED MONSTER, and you decided that you've had enough MESSING AROUND with the WINDY BOY from another session.

You head to this session's PROSPIT.

It's time you paid them all a little VISIT.

**> SS: Team Up with the Knight**

You are the SOVERIGN SLAYER, you WEAR THE RING.

You approach the KNIGHT as he DUELS with the presently ONE ARMED PROSPITIAN.

Damn, looks like he did all the work.

The KNIGHT sees you, in your PROTOTYPED GLORY, and he--

Fuck, he just time traveled away with the PROSPITIAN before you get a chance to say a word.

**> ARGO: Get Trolled**

Argo swaps back to her DREAM SELF to access the ONE COMPUTER that accompanied her through the time jump.

-tentacleTherapist [TT] began Trolling arsenicCataclysm [AC] @ ??:??-

TT: At this point I'm told you should be aware of a certain Heir of Breath's Presence within our mutually exclusive sessions?

AC: oh, its you again

AC: um, do you mean john?

AC: then yes, rezi told us about him.

AC: that's so sad :(

TT: Yes, his story is quite a sad one.

TT: It's a shame I only remembered living through it all after he told me.

TT: That is to say:

TT: Hello, Nepeta/Dave/Davepeta, my name is apparently both Rose Lalonde and Rhozee LLonde.

AC: please just stick with argo for now, okay

TT: That's fine, Argo.

TT: I prefer Rhozee as well, given that it is my current identity.

AC: so youre daves former sister i guess?

TT: That is the case, yes.

TT: That also makes us half siblings as well, I suppose, in this weird shuffling of identities that has gone on.

TT: Regardless, that is not why I'm messaging you now.

AC: why then? :||

TT: I have a message from John, who is further ahead in the timline than you presently are.

TT: You are to take the Dream Slates and get them out of the crypt before it hits the Battlefield.

AC: Oh! right. Sprite knowledge says these are important for god tiering when down to a single life. if the moons crash then that means we need to get them out incase we need them!

TT: Yes, you're going to need them should your Prospit dreamers find themselves down to a single life. The regular beds on your planets work on two lives.

AC: riiight...

AC: we just said the same thing basically.

TT: So we did.

AC: so now i gotta figure out how to captchalogue these things...

AC: I forgot to make a new fetch modus after PI stole my last one. >:[[

TT: If I might make a suggestion?

TT: Give your Dream Self the Sprite Necklace, then enter it as your sprite self while holding the two slabs.

AC: OH.

AC: im not supposed to give out the necklace for a while more according to the sprite but why the fuck not,

AC: im my own sprite and player so screw that nonsense

AC: the necklace trick might work!

TT: I will message you once you've gotten away from Prospit's Moon.

TT: Good Luck.

AC: thanks

**> Jade: Be command-able.**

JADE EGBERT returns to her ROOM to appease her father that she would TRY TO GET BACK TO SLEEP, but she doesn't particularly feel like that just yet.

She decides to ki...waste a little time looking at her room's contents for, like, the TEN BILLIONTH TIME. 

(Which is pretty much all she's been doing since BECQUEREL died.)

There are POSTERS, BOOKSHELVES, and... that's about all she can look at without letting her DAD know that you haven't gone back to sleep yet.

**> Jade: Sleep.**

Nope, not yet. She's not tired.

**> JADE: Read a book.**

She slips out a RECENT ACQUISITION from the MYSTRYAL SERIES, the fantasy murder mystery novel series her cousin got her into. This one is a spinoff set within the same universe, it's not a MURDER MYSTERY like the others, but it's based off the same world building. 

It's like how the HOBBIT is in the same universe as the LORD OF THE RINGS, yet are, at their cores, two separate stories... okay, maybe that's a bad example, but that's the first example that comes to mind.

This one is called "The Twin Moons Shine." It's the story of how some random nobody related to the MAIN SERIES became a LYCANTHROPE and dealt with the RANDOM TRANSFORMATIONS. She's only on CHAPTER THREE OF TWELVE, right now.

She settles in and picks up where she left of which is...

Oh... right. The FUNERAL.

That's why she stopped. 

**> JADE: remember DOG FUNERAL.**

The Funeral was barely that. Jade cried the entire time while insisting that SHE BURY BEC underneath his DOG HOUSE ONE HER OWN. 

She wishes she could really bring Bec Back, but weird dreams aside, she doubts that will happen. 

**> REZI's GRANDFATHER: Where are you?**

He was last seen in a town called HAUNTSWITCH, dealing with some WEIRD CULT that had popped up in recent days.

Locals report seeing a STRANGE BEAM OF RED AND GREEN LIGHT one night several days ago, and the HARLEY MANNOR has been vacant ever since.

  
_IT WILL PROBABLY BE YEARS BEFORE WE EVER LEARN WHAT BECAME OF HIM._

**> ALTERNATE CALLIOPE GHOST: What is the center of a black hole like?**

You get to torment your ALTERNATE UNIVERSE BROTHER for ALL ETERNITY.

What's not to Love-Hate?

**> ROXY GHOST: How are you?**

There is no ROXY GHOST in the Furthest Ring! 

**> WQ: Read TRASHY WQ X BQ FAN FICTION that somehow ended up in the LIBRARY OF PROSPIT.**

You are offended at the mere thought of such a thing!!!

You should IMPEACH and IMPALE anyone who dared thought of such a thing!!!

You....

Quietly slip away to your room to read the CONFISCATED TOME in the privacy of THIS IS NOBODY'S BUSINESS.

**> PARCEL MISTRESS: Return to PROSPIT.**

You do that, and try to LOCATE THE QUEEN, but she's RETURNED TO HER PRIVATE CHAMBERS with orders not to be disturbed.

Oh well, you'll come check back later.

As you walk away, someone sneaks out from behind and--MMMMPPPHHH!

You have just been CHLOROFORMED and KIDNAPPED!!

**> CD: Deliver Letter**

You slip out of the shadows while the DIGNITARY deals with the PARCEL MISTRESS. You SLIP a letter underneath the WHITE QUEEN'S DOOR FRAME, and then leave with the DIGNITARY via QUICK PLACE ESCAPALIZER.

**> JADE'S DAD: Check the NEWS.**

You are now briefly JADE'S DAD, who quietly checks up on the news VIA PDA...

Oh, god, you stare at the reports of both HOUSTON, TEXAS and a SMALL LABORATORY IN NEW YORK being WIPED OFF THE MAP by METEORS.

Jade... Will be completely distraught once she learns about the deaths of her COUSIN and ONLINE FRIEND.

You RESOLVE to not let her turn on her computer or the Television for ANY REASON AT ALL.

**> AR: Blow off work.**

The HUNGRY BRUTE confiscated a HOVER ROCKET BOARD earlier, so you CONFISCATE THAT from the CONFISCATION PILE and JET JAM OUTTA HERE.

PCHOOOO!!!

[ **> [S] MIDNIGHT CREW: Execute** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NACWZBDtN8)

The DROLL reports that the KNIGHT has finally gotten the PROSPITIAN to PROSPIT, and is quickly making his way into the LEGAL SYSTEM. The DIGNITARY says now's the time to strike, the PAWN has been CAPTURED. The BRUTE says he's caused a SUFFICIENT DISTRACTION for the DERSITE TABLOIDS to be focused on by delivering a ROCKET BOARD to that EASILY DISTRACTED AUTHORITY REGULATOR. 

You say, WONDERFUL. It's GO TIME.

You guess you really didn't need to recruit the Knight after all.

For the better, anyways. 

As long as he's not too aware of who you are, he shouldn't come after you for any reasons.

**> BQ: Regret **

You are now the BLACK QUEEN of DERSE.

You're shaking your head as you watch SOMEONE use a ROCKET BOARD illegally to ZIP PAST YOUR TOWER WINDOW.

What is this? Some kind of FOOLS DAY? 

You hear JACK KNOCKING at the door.

[Come In.]

He enters, prototyped, and grinning. He's helped the KNIGHT capture the PROSPITIAN, he says. Fought across half the game's TIMELINE doing it, too, he adds.

[That's wonderful,] you say. [So why are you still wearing the ring?]

That's because he learned of an attempt on your life, he says, and he's about to do what he did in the first place to DERAIL IT.

You're intrigued, you'll admit. [What can you tell me about this attempt?]

It's coming any second now, he says, from the least likely person to commit REGICIDE. The WHITE QUEEN HERSELF. 

[What??] You're SHOCKED to say the least. [What is her game plan?]

The plan, he says, is that she is going to come and pretend that she didn't know what was going to happen, but, in fact, had actually given the ring to the PROTOTYPED INFIDEL in the first place. It was all a plan, he says. A plan to make everyone lower their trust.

She's going to have the KNIGHT assassinated as well, the moment his back is turned.

You're outraged. [How could She do such a thing?? How could she be so... so... ]

Dersite like? he suggests.

[Yes.] You nod. That is the word you're looking for.

That's when there's a KNOCK at the DOOR.

The DRACONIAN DIGNITARY announces that the WHITE QUEEN of PROSPIT is HERE to see HER MAJESTY the BLACK QUEEN.

You look to JACK, and he gives you a thumbs up as he readies a CATACLYSM, and moves to hide behind the doors.

[Let her in,] you say.

And then the doors open, revealing the DIGNITARY and The-  
  
Wait.

[That's Not the White Queen!] You exclaim, pointing at the HALF-CONSCIOUS PARCEL MISTRESS. 

Yeah, Jack's voice suddenly whispers in your ear. And you're an idiot for giving me the ring.

That's when his hand PIERCES THROUGH YOUR CHEST- emerging out from the other side, holding your HEART.

You barely have time to process this STUNNING BETRAYAL when the heart DECAYS AWAY before your eyes and....

**> Sovereign Slayer: Rejoice**

The BLACK QUEEN turns to DUST around your arm, and you give the DIGNITARY a grin.

Well done, Sir, he says with a slow clap. A masterful ploy, even if we couldn't trick the Knight into playing along.

You just order the MAIL LADY to be thrown into the DUNGEONS.

With Pleasure, the Dignitary salutes you and then drags the PRISONER away.

You sit down on the QUEEN'S CHAIR, and start to laugh.

OPERATION REGIUSURP was a COMPLETE SUCCESS!

**> Dream Jade: Wake up.**

When JADE finally FELL ASLEEP reading a WEREWOLF ROMANCE STORY, she WOKE UP in the strangest of places: Behind a PURPLE CURTAIN in what appears to be the BLACK QUEEN'S PRIVATE CHAMBERS.

That was when ALL OF THE ABOVE happened, and you are now Jade herself, trying to be as quiet as you can whilst HYPERVENTILATING. 

WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED????? 

**> ARGO: Do not forget TIKKI.**

How could you forget dear sweet precious TIKKI??

Argo put her on her head before recalling a half-awake ARGOSPRITE into her SPRITE PENDANT along with the DREAM SLABS.

Hey! It worked! Now she's just gotta find a way out of here before-

**> DAVE: Return to PROSPIT.**

"Yo!" A Dave appears. "Need a Lift?"

Argo smiles at him in gratitude.

**> FUTURE DAVE: Can you grab the DERSE SLABS?**

He makes a note to do that NEXT THING as soon as he gets Argo BACK to her LAND.

**> PS + AD: Make plan.**

Your plan is as simple as it gets:

Wait for the KNIGHT OF TIME to bring PI to the Prisons, then TAKE PI SOMEWHERE ELSE. Maybe through a DEFENSE PORTAL where he will be of no harm to anyone else.

**> Be Warweary Villein.**

You cannot be "WV" because WV has not been SPAWNED YET!! He has NO FARM to spawn at because SKAIA has not had its THIRD PROTOTYPING!!

**> Dream Jade: Look at SS.**

Oh god oh god oh god, he is so terrifying just standing there in the QUEEN'S PRIVATE CHAMBERS--- Just look at him he just stabbed a QUEEN through the HEART with his BARE FIST and used some kind of NECROTIZING ATTACK to disintegrate her!!! AND HE'S JUST STANDING ON THE ASHES LIKE IT'S NO BIG DEAL????

You're having a real hard time not panicking loudly right now.

**> AR: Accidentally burst through wall of Throne Room.**

OH YEEAAAAOOOOHSHITTTTT!!!!

You CRASH into the EMPTY THRONE ROOM, right into the CHAIR.

Wow, that would have been embarrassing if you'd accidentally HIT THE QUEEN!

Good thing she wasn't in here in this GIANT CROSS SECTION HALLWAY SLASH THRONE ROOM.

In fact, the only people here are... Oh.

Your FELLOW AUTHORITY REGULATORS.

With the JAIL-TIME spears.

You've been ARRESTED for the sheer fact of having the audacity to BREAK THE RULES SO BADLY and then BASICALLY COMMIT TREASON by SMASHING THE THRONE.

Yeeeeah, there's no way you're not being thrown in the DUNGEON.

**> JADE: Ride the ROCKET BOARD.**

What rocket board??

You're in the QUEEN'S PRIVATE CHAMBERS with the SOVERIGN SLAYER and the ASHES OF THE QUEEN.

**> PARCEL MISTRESS: Escape.**

PM is TOO UNCONSCIOUS to be commanded to do anything, let alone to form the thoughts required to ESCAPE.

She is thrown into a CELL along with the ARRESTED REGULATOR.

**> WQ: Read mail.**

You take a break from your.... AHHEM... contraband to check the MAIL.

It's a LETTER from DERSE... There's a YOU'RE WELCOME stamp from the COURTYARD DROLL on it.

You READ THE LETTER:

_"Yo. Queeny. By the time you're reading this we'll have done your job already and disposed of both your "rogue agent" and your Opposing Queen as well. Also, fun fact, you'll never guess who we have in our dungeons now! -Sovereign Slayer."_

WHAT?????

**> PI: Go directly to JAIL. Do not pas GO, Do not collect $200.**

You're being PROCESSED after WHOLE DAYS of TIME TRAVEL. Ugh, you finally gave up just because you NEED SOME SLEEP.

**> PS + AD: JAILBREAK.**

Your JAIL TIME, however, is interrupted when your TWO FRIENDS burst in and CAUSE A SCENE. The DICK causes a distraction from the guards while the PROBLEM SOLVER leads you away through a recently made HOLE IN THE WALL.

You're too tired to fight back so you just let them take you. 

You'll rage properly once you've got enough mental energy to do it. 

**> PS + AD + PI: Go into EXILE.**

You take the nearest TRANSPORTALIZER, and wind up in a meteor on the VEIL, from there you take a few more transportalizers in random sequence until you find an EXILE STATION, whose computer says you're destined for one of the PLAYER HOMES.

Eh, good enough.

The DICK breaks the transportalizer pad, just in case you were followed.

**> MONARCH CROAKERS: What now?**

Now what indeed? 

It's time for the first step of OPERATION SQUASHPIT.

Do nothing and wait for the WHITE QUEEN'S first move.

**> JADE: Run.**

You make a break for the DOOR when the SLAYER is too busy contemplating his SCHEMES.

But of course you TRIP ON A RUG and land on your FACE.

The SLAYER turns his attention to you.

**> SS: What now indeed....**

Just what do we have here? Looks to be the PIPSQUEAK PRINCESS from PROSPIT. What's she doing here you wonder? You'd ask but she looks TERRIFIED AND CONFUSED and it'd probably give you a headache trying to get the info out of her.

You suppose you COULD just kill her, buuuut...

Hey, now there's an idea.

The QUEEN might not do anything for the MENDICANT, but the PRINCESS??? Now that's a completely new story.

**> SS: get DD on the line**

You pull out your radio while putting one foot on the HEM of the Princess' dress, holding her in place firmly.

No, you're not going anywhere, sweetie, you say before talking to the DIGNITARY. Yo, guess who decided to party crash our execution, you ask. Who, he asks. The Knight? Nope, you grin, the WITCH. The WITCH OF SPACE? He asks. Got it in ONE, you say. But what's she doing there? He asks. You'd be an omniscient JACKASS if you knew that, you tell him. So what do we do with her, he asks?

You look down at the TERRIFIED GIRL and say...

_We Make Her a Member of the MIDNIGHT CREW._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Here's where Act 2 actually originally ended. NAH. We're continuing proper with the rest of Act 3 to prevent my numbers from getting out of hand now.
> 
> But yeah. THAT WAS AN END OF ACT RIGHT THERE LOL.
> 
> Breaking again for the night. Or atleast for a little while. That's... a good place to stop for I think, hehe.


	17. ACT 3: The Obligatory Heist Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a lot of shit happens including a Jail break!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Hostage Situation.  
> Prison Violence.  
> Jail Break.  
> Wild Animal Attacking People.  
> Murder Threats.  
> An Ambiguous use of Drugs that were actually not Chloroform.   
> A Wild TV Tropes Link (Not a Joke! Actual Meta Time-Sink hazard there.)  
> Jack's a murder happy and threatening fellow.  
> Eating a paper note to hide the evidence (Please don't do this!!)

We now focus our attention on ARGO LALONDE, several hours in the future. And Argo is pretty sure that she knosw for sure what moment everything EXACTLY went to hell in a hand basket.

  
**> Reality Check on A Buncha Names?**

She checks over the HIT LIST of FICTIONAL PEOPLE she was told to whip up for this JOB.

It's everyones hope it fools the SOVEREIGN SLAYER.

**> ARGO: Elaborate on what the hell is going on.**

What's going on? What's going on is a god-damned RESCUE MISSION. All Hands On Deck kinda situation.

Several Hours Ago, The SOVEREIGN SLAYER took JADE'S DREAM SELF HOSTAGE and has fitted her with some kind of MILD SHOCK COLLAR that's keeping her from falling asleep. A tiny zap every time she starts to doze off. Not enough to do anything but keep her awake.

End Result: Rezi cannot enter the game with Jade unable to WAKE UP. 

Why is the SLAYER doing this? Well, that happens to be explained several hours ago in the past...

**> WQ: Receive LETTER.**

You've received yet ANOTHER letter.

_"Hey! Looser. It's me again. Did you guess who it was? If you guessed: POST MAILER, PARCEL MISTRESS, or PRETTY MAID, you'd be... RIGHT and yet also WRONG!!! The person we have in custody is NONE OTHER THAN... Your Witch of Space. Good luck continuing the game with her in my hands. She ain't returning to WAKEY LAND until I get what I want, and what I want is SIMPLE... the WHITE KING'S SCEPTER. I know, right, how can *I* get the Scepter when I'm refusing to let the girl let her friend enter? Well, see, that's the genius of it. I know the KNIGHT has TIME TRAVEL up his sleeve. SO... here's the dealio. The Knight Brings me the Scepter, I let the girl go, she lets the SEER in, thus letting SKAIA transform, and allowing the scepter to be gotten and brought to me. SIMPLE. ELEGANT. SHEER GENIUS. And YES, I'll know if it's the real scepter or not 'cause if it don't start hurtling meteors skaia-wards, I AIN'T RELEASING THE GIRL. -The Slickest Sovereign Slayer Around PS: if anyone tries to break her out of my grasp, she gets a CATACLSYM TO THE CHEST. See attached FRONT COVER OF DERSITE TIMES to see what that does to a person."_

**> WQ: Freak out.**

You proceed to FREAK OUT A LITTLE.

Never before has a session gone SO FAR OFF THE RAILS!

**> JADE: Join PM and AR.**

NUH UH, You, the SOVEREIGN SLAYER, deny that idea in a heartbeat. Sorry, Dignitary, but that removes ALL of *MY* Leverage, you tell him.

**> Jade: oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god**

You're PANICKING SO VERY MUCH NOW. SO MUCH SO, in fact, that you want to be JUST ABOUT ANYONE ELSE RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

**> Be uu?**

"uu" does not exist as a playable character. You are redirected to the next available "UU" and that is CALLIE LEIJON.

And presently, you're PANICKING QUITE HARD. Your VIEW PORT only shows the PRIME SELF of a person- nobody NOTICED that Jade's Dreamself had landed on DERSE until the news broke straight from the SLAYER'S MOUTH and the kids CONTACTED YOU about it.

Adding insult to injury is the accursed BAD LUCK FIELD perpetually surrounding the JACK NOIR of that session, preventing anyone from getting a good look at him without SCREWING UP and GAINING ATTENTION, leaving reconnaissance out of the question.

YOU JUST FEEL SO USELESS SOMETIMES.

**> JOHN: Add "Get all TWELVE (12) TROLLS and JADE to REMEMBER" to your list of tasks.**

You're now the JOHN EGBERT sitting with CALLIE and her FELLOW TROLLS- this being several WEEKS into their future relative to the last time we saw you there. You've already done the TROLLS, but Jade is a problem that you'll have to deal with once you've sorted out the problem the TROLLS are having. 

That is to say, you and your CONFUSING, SENT OBSCURING BREEZE are the only thing standing between THEM and a GRISLY DEATH between the PROTOTYPED MONSTER'S MANY TEETH. 

You've yet to go back and TELL YOURSELF to remind all the trolls, though, so there's still THAT wonderful mystery to figure out, but we'll probably not be seeing any of THAT until Act 4.

  
**> JOHN: Listen in to Strategy Session with the TROLLS**

KARKAT: ALRIGHT EVERYONE LISTEN UP.

KARKAT: WE'VE GOT A UNIVERSE FULL OF PROBLEMS, ATLEAST THREE DIFFERENT SESSIONS FULL OF STUPID PROTOTYPING DECISIONS, AND A KIDNAPPED WITCH OF SPACE ONTOP OF IT ALL.

KARKAT: WE'RE FOCUSING ON THE PART WE CAN ACTUALLY AFFECT RIGHT NOW. RESCUING JADE. ANYONE GOT ANY IDEAS?

MEENAH: i say we go through with tha glubbin deal, 'scept we have windy sock swipe the black kings scepta at the same time

ARADIA: i feel like i have s0me blame in all 0f this.

ARADIA: as maid 0f time i sh0uld have been m0re 0nt0p 0f things.

ARANEA: No, dear, this is all J8ck Noir's fault.

ERIDAN: all twwo different vversions of him

CALLIE: three.

ERIDAN: wwhat?

CALLIE: we're dealing with the possibility of three different sessions involved in this mess, eridan.

CALLIE: so its qUite possible there are three jack noirs caUsing Us grief.

RHOZEE: Ahhem. We're not here to talk about possible Jacks, nor play the self pity game.

RHOZEE: This is a strategy session, remember?

KANAYA: This Is A Strategy Session

KANAYA: ?

KANAYA: I Thought We Were All Playing Who Screwed Up Worst

RHOZEE: Thank you for your wonderfully timed sarcasm, Kanaya.

KANAYA: You Are Welcome

KARKAT: YEAH, THANKS.

KARKAT: NOW DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE ANY OTHER IDEAS OR ARE WE GOING TO GO WITH MEENAH'S PLAN?

TAVROS: uMMM, WHY aREN'T WE JUST USING THE, uuhhh, VIEWPORTS TO SEE WHAT WE DO?

TAVROS: oR, UMM, JUST ASKING THE FUTURE KIDS????

SOLLUX: good que2tiion, TV,

SOLLUX: lemme an2wer iit 2iimply

SOLLUX: BECAU2E TROLLIIAN 2UCKS 4T HANDLIING P4R4DOXE2!!

TAVROS: i, uHH, DONT UNDERSTAND...

KARKAT: WHAT SOLLUX IS TRYING TO SAY IS THAT WE'VE TRIED THAT ALREADY.

KARKAT: TROLLIAN JUST REFUSES TO CONNECT IF WE'RE NOT MEANT TO TALK TO THEM IN THAT SPECIFIC MOMENT.

KARKAT: AND EVERY TIME WE TRY TO TALK IN WHAT IS APPARENTLY AN OUT OF SEQUENCE CONVERSATION, THE PROGRAM FLIPS THE FUCK OUT LIKE A LUSUS FLIPPS OUT OVER ITS FIRST WRIGGLER.

KARKAT: THAT IS TO SAY, IT LOSES ITS SHIT AND GOES OVER PROTECTIVE MODE FOR SEVERAL MINUTES ON *ALL OF THE FUCKING COMPUTERS* IN THE METEOR.

KARKAT: NOT TO FUCKING MENTION THAT WHATEVR TEREZI PROTOTYPES FUCKING SCREWS WITH THE TEMPORAL VIEW SCREEN PROGRAM IN SOME WEIRDLY META WAY THAT NOBODY UNDERSTANDS.

SOLLUX: ((damn 2traiight))

KARKAT: THAT, AND WE'VE YET TO SUCCESSFULLY TALK WITH ANYONE THAT FAR AHEAD BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING PARADOX INHIBITORS.

KARKAT: OR HAD YOU NOT NOTICED THAT?

TAVROS: i WASNT USING TROLLIAN THAT MUCH...

ARANEA: (8ig fucking surprise there.)

ARANEA: 8W!!!!!!!!

ARANEA: who threw that book!?

RHOZEE: One of our other two teammates who refuse to step out of the shadows.

MEENAH: nice aim, whicheva one oysters threw it.

ARANEA: Meenah!!

MEENAH: 38]

KARKAT: SO! ANY OTHER PLANS THAT AREN'T MEENAHS OR DON'T CAUSE PARADOXES?

KARKAT: YES? NO? MAYBE? SHOULD I REPEAT THE QUESTION YET-A-FUCKING-GAIN??

ARADIA: we c0uld rig the scepter t0 expl0de?

KARKAT: WHAT GOOD WOULD THAT DO US?

ARADIA: it w0uld expl0de in jacks face and thats always funny.

KARKAT: OKAY, SO, WE'VE GOT TWO PLANS THAT BOTH INVOLVE GIVING JACK WHAT HE WANTS.

KARKAT: ANYONE ELSE GOT SOMETHING THAT ISNT A FUCKING NEON ICE-CREAM HEADACHE JUST *WAITING* TO HAPPEN?

KARKAT: NO???

KARKAT: WELL OKAY THEN. I GUESS WE'RE FUCKING GOING WITH PLAN, GIVE JACK THE FUCKING SCEPTER AND THEN BLOW IT UP IN HIS FACE AFTER HE LETS JADE GO.

CALLIE: WAIT.

KARKAT: YEEESSS?? HE SAID WHILE CRANING HIS HEAD AND NECK DRAMATICALLY TO THE FAR LEFT OF THE ROOM FOR NO GODDAMN REASON OTHER THAN TO LOOK VERY STRESSED OUT AND EAGER FOR A SOLUTION!?

CALLIE: i... might have an idea if anyone's willing to listen to me ramble for five or ten minUtes?

**> Dave: Get some sleep.**

Dave manages to fit in at least a good TWENTY FOUR HOURS of PURE, UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP somewhere by exploiting time travel and future selves BRIDAL CARRYING his sleeping body through said time jumps.

He's ready and raring to get to work on this whole, "RESCUE THE DREAMING PRINCESS" Quest.

**> Rezi: Examine Belongings**

You've arrived in the ATTIC LAB.

Inside are some ITEMS left over from your GRANDPA'S HAPHAZARD PACKING JOB.

EVERYTHING is within its own INDIVIDUALLY MARKED CRATE. That will make it easy to CONSIDER PROTOTYPING ITEMS without opening EVERY BOX.

**> REZI: Examine CRATES.**

_"BLUE LADY" COLLECTION #413_

_MORE EGYPT BOXES BOX#10_

_ROXY'S WINDOW PROJECT (JUST LEAVE IT, JAKE)_

_BOX O BOOKS FOR KIDS #18_

_ARE YOU MY MUMMY'S COFFIN? BOX #217_

_WALL CRATE #4_

_MORE ROMANIA BOXES BOX #3_

_AUSTRALIA BOX #1_

_MANN CO. BOX #12_

_APERTURE LABS P.C. [ADV]_

_APERTURE LABS P.C. [AST]_

_APT. LBS. DIETARY PASTE [BL]_

_APT. LBS. DIETARY PASTE [OR]_

_BLACK MESA OFFICE BOX._

**_...What a bunch of JUNK._** You never understood WHY your Grandfather worked so many STRANGE JOBS before starting his own company.

**> Callie: Ramble about plan.**

You detail out a complex plan involving tricking JACK with a list of people who are going to kill him now that he's upset Derse's GOVERNMENTAL STRUCTURE. 

**> John: Chime in.**

You suggest making the names a bunch of OBSCURE REFERENCES to an old WEBCOMIC that Jack has likely not heard of. Just to add a layer of complexity to the PRANKSTER'S GAMBIT.

**> VRISKA: Count the surviving HORRORTERRORS.**

You decide to pass the time recounting the HORRORTERRORS...

As usual, you lose count somewhere between "Too Fucking Many" and "Not Enough Dead."

**> JOHN: Consider transporting the LANDS, DERSE, and PROSPIT of the TROLL SESSION to the VOID.**

You've considered it, and suggested it, but without a place to transplant them too afterwards, KARKAT says it'd just be leaving ONE ENDLESS VOID FOR ANOTHER. You're inclined to agree for the time being.

**> JOHN: You really should elimination that EMISSARY OF THE HORRORTERRORS, if it still exists.**

The thought confuses you not just because of the grammar. You already double checked the Backup Earth some time ago. You...

You check again just incase you missed something. 

....NOPE. You find NO TRACE of the HORROR TERROR EMISSARY. You guess you got rid of it so long ago you don't even remember doing it.

**> JOHN: Other than that BACK-UP EARTH, did you bring anything else with you from the original timeline? Perhaps a certain DOLL? Or a CROWBAR?**

Dolls? Why would you pick up any dolls??? Crowbars? Oh man you WISH you'd managed to get your hands on that thing before it got swallowed up by a BLACK HOLE. (And most of LOTAK too...)

**> JACK: Destroy the BLACK KING, so his SCEPTER never exists.**

Nah. You've got PLANS for that SCEPTER. Starting an EARLY RECKONING is ALL PART OF THE PLAN, as is someone STOPPING IT just because you started it ahead of schedule.

The Dignitary thinks you're INSANE for leaving it in play, but YOU'RE THE NEW RULER OF DERSE, you tell him, SO SHUT YOUR TRAP AND LEMME RUN MY CON IN PEACE!

**> John: Start writing list of people, and include Moe.**

You draw upon a wealth of ALTERNATE UNIVERSE TELEVISION, ANIME, MOVIE, VIDEO GAME, AND CARTOON HISTORY to create a RATHER COMPELLING LIST of fictional characters out to get JACK NOIR. For the LULZ you include several characters from SLICE OF LIFE ANIME whose sole defining traits are being [MOE](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Moe).

You start giggling madly at the mere idea of some of these characters being out to kill anyone, let alone JACK NOIR.

**> Karkat: Look over John's shoulder.**

You are now KARKAT VANTAS, and you're beginning to think that however long it was between the LILLYPAD DOOR and NOW, it was much too long for John's sanity to come out completely unscathed.

**> Rezi: Examine window.**

You open the box marked "ROXY'S WINDOW PROJECT" and find...

A matching set of GREEN CUBES, which have plug ports matching the cables attached to MATCHING SETS OF FIVE PANELED RECTANGULAR WINDOWS.

Are these...?

You plug them into the CUBES, and the frames light up from ONE SIDE despite being supposedly SEE THROUGH??

OH! OH! These are the window pane things they were using in the RESET KIDS SESSION in the PREVIOUS UNIVERSE! The window things that worked like portals!

...These are completely useless right now, and prototyping them seems like a BAD IDEA.

**> FUTURE DAVE: Pick up WINDOW.**

Nah. Another Future Dave alraedy told him it was a bad idea. 

**> PM + AR: Examine surroundings. **

You are now the ARRESTED RENEGADE because the PARCEL MISTRESS is still PRETTY OUT OF IT from CHLOROFORM.

You're in a JAIL CELL, one of SEVERAL in Derse's DUNGEON LEVEL. 

They just throw people in here with other people and the guards often bet on if they'll kill each other. You find the practice DISTASTEFUL but oh well it's not like you were ever in a position to really do anything to fix it.

Across the hall is an INMATE who goes by the name of THIEVING NICHOLAS, he's whispering towards anyone who walks by if they'll GIVE HIM A LOCKPICK. Nobody does. 

Hey, he barks at you once he notices you staring. YOU GOT ANY LOCKPICKS??? He asks in a LOUD WHISPER, thinking it will carry across the hallway better, but the truth is he could be heard just fine at his previous volume.

You nervously shake your head and tell him no.

**> JACK: Receive letter.**

There is no more JACK, remember? You're the SLAYER NOW. But whatever.

A LETTER appears with an _ **[-IFICATE!]**_ sound, it lands on your PRIOSNER'S HEAD.

You swipe up the letter and READ IT.

"H3Y. J4CK. 3NCLOS3D 1S 4 L1ST OF P3OPL3 W3 1N TH3 FUTUR3 H4V3 B33N WORK1NG W1TH TO D3THRON3 YOU. YOU M1GHT B3 WOND3R1NG WHY W3'R3 T3LL1NG YOU TH1S. TH3 R34SON 1S S1MPL3. TH3 R34SON 1S--" 

The letter, you realize, is TORN here, robbing you of the MOTIVE behind them sending this BLASTED LETTER. However, the rest of the CONTENTS are intact.

...Who the fuck are these people???

Dersites and Prospitians, you're assuming, but... seriously, who the hell are all these people? There's got to be like, fifty freaking names on this list.

Damn it, if this list is legit...!

Wait, what if it's NOT legit? This tear seems AWFULLY CONVENIENT TO-

The TORN PIECE interrupts you with yet another _ **[-IFICATE!]**_

...

You READ this part too.

"--W3 4LR34DY WON. YOU LOS3. 1T 1S 4 V1RTU4L C3RT41NTY NOW. YOU COULDN'T K1LL 4NYON3 ON TH1S L1ST 3V3N 4FT3R S34RCH1NG 3NDL3SSLY. TH1S L3TT3R? TH1S 1S OUR GLO4T. S1NC3R3LY, TR3PPY P1P3S, PROSP1T14N S3ND1F1C4TOR V3NDOR. P.S.: TH3 S33R H4S 3NT3R3D. YOUR RUL3 DROOLZ."

....Okay, you crunch the NOTE FRAGMENT up in your hand and glare at the ceiling. THAT. TEARS IT!!!!

NOBODY, and you mean NOBODY. INSULTS. YOU IN SUCH A... FLAGRANT. DISRESPECTFUL...

He's so flummoxed and enraged that he never notices a third item appear next to JADE, just conveniently in her line of sight and outside of his own. She reads the note, gasps, then shoves it into her mouth to DESTROY THE EVIDENCE.

Noir, of course, see none of this. Because he's SUPER MAD. 

**> JADE: What Did the Note Say???**

It just said "play along" and that was it besides a cute drawing of a FOX, saying "yiff yiff im gonna be a homework eating troll and eat this note all day long." Oh DAVE, ever the BEST FRIEND in situations like these.

**> SS: Leave on WILD GOOSE CHASE.**

LEAVE??? Oh no. You're SURE that's what they want you to do... No. If this IS Legitimate, you'll have your.... But then what about....

GRRR... There's no way this is real!!

But what if it is??

You turn to THE WITCH and ask, Hey, did you ever hear of any "Treppy Pipes" on Prospit?

**> Jade: Play Along**

You NOD, although you've got no idea what he's talking about.

You don't trust yourself to SPEAK, not with a MOUTH FULL OF PAPER, so you just hope your LEGITIMATELY TERRIFIED EXPRESSION holds firm.

**> SS: RAGE.**

OKAY. It's LEGIT. That SETTLES IT. You get the CREW ON THE HORN and give them the DOWNLOW.

**> AR: Look for something you could use to PICK or else DESTROY the LOCK.**

There's NOTHING in the CELL, or on YOUR PERSON that could open the LOCK. Dersite Prisons are notorious for being INESCAPABLE.

**> TN: Cause SCENE.**

Ugh, that guy keeps yelling about LOCKPICKS.

**> DERSITE JAIL GUARD: REACT.**

Annnnd now there's the GUARDS...

Wait...

As they're struggling to get a clean shot at knocking the guy unconscious, one of them with a KEY RING waggles their butt in front of your CELL DOOR.

Alright, so maybe if you just, sort of reach out and...

**> AR: Pickpocket Keys**

You Successfully SWIPED the KEYS.

OH GOD YOU JUST PICK-POCKETED A GUARD FOR THE KEYS!?

You Shove the KEY RING under your PRISON SHIRT and hope nobody saw that.

And now the GUARDS are inside TN's cell and pounding away at him mercilessly.

OW. Oooh. OUCH. That ones gonna leave a mark. OOF. Yeaaah... nope, not paying attention anymore to all this senseless violence.

**> TN: EXPIRE, mercifully.**

It's never that easy. They only beat on him so far as to knock him unconscious, then they call in a MEDICAL PRACTITIONER to heal the poor guy up.

**> AR: While everyone is distracted, escape.**

Are You NUTS!? They're going to be on even HIGHER GUARD while this is going on! How many idiots do you think even tried to escape during a DISTRACTION like this before?? Too many too count. Tried and SUCCEEDED??? You'll give yourself that answer. ZERO. Zero prisoners tried escaping and succeeded during a DISTRACTION.

Most of them, the lucky ones, just ended up like TN over there and got an EXTENDED SENTENCE and A HOSPITAL STAY while recovering from injuries.

The rest, the unlucky ones, got RECRUITED into some SHADOWY PROJECT you only recently found out about during your stint as a PAPERWORK JOCKEY. 

**> SS: Give the crew snazzy names.**

While you're barking orders to your team, you float using new CODE NAMES for OPERATIONAL SECURITY.

**> HB: Despise your new name.**

You're the Brute and you say that you DON'T LIKE IT. You don't know what it is yet, but you DON'T LIKE IT.

**> DD: Suggest just killing DREAM JADE.**

You're the DIGNITARY, and you insist that there's no point in keeping the GIRL ALIVE.

Once more Jack threatens to Cataclysm you in some VAGUELY HORRIFIC WAYS. You're not sure WHY he's so fond of this girl, and quite frankly it's starting to creep you out.

**> AR: How many people have ever escaped at all?**

In grand total? Five.

Five have EVER successfully escaped DERSE PRISON. Collectively, they've started the occasional HIT AND RUN ROBBERY to keep afloat. The DERSITE TABLOIDS has started calling them the UNDECIDERS or something campy like that. 

You watch as the Practitioner does her work PROFESSIONALLY and leaves a moaning THIEF in his cell.

Once she clears out, the CELL BLOCK goes into LOCK DOWN MODE and that will probably last for a FEW HOURS. For now, you'll plan your ESCAPE, but you'll have to do it QUIETLY once the lock down is let up. You can't just rush headlong into this. All the smart ones who DID escape prison did so during the quiet times when everyone's GUARD WAS RELAXED.

Wait. What? What are you even thinking?? Escape??? You're in here because you SKIPPED OUT ON YOUR JOB and CRASHED INTO A REALLY EXPENSIVE CHAIR. Even if you get out you'll have NO JOB what so ever.

And it's not like you can just... defect... to...

You look over at the still dazed and confused PARCEL MISTRESS.

Okay maybe there's an idea, but you're going to have to wait for her to snap out of it before you can discuss any plans with her. She didn't even flinch with all the POUNDING going on. It was like she didn't even hear it. 

_**> ==>** _

That's when you hear the GROWL.

You look out into the hallway just in time to see the reason why nobody escapes during TIMES OF TROUBLE. That's right, they've got some kind of MUTANT HELL BEAST down here in the dungeons that they let out of its cage whenever someone causes TROUBLE. It's got an EXCEPTIONALLY SHARP NOSE, according to the paperwork, along with some kind of GRABBY TELEPORTY THING going on. The Handler's FOOD FEES cost an ARM AND A LEG and have pretty much tied one arm of DERSE'S BUDGET behind it's back.

It's a rather FREAKY LOOKING MUTANT CAT with some weird GREEN ENERGY CRAP THING going on. Right now it's ON A LEASH, as its HANDLER walks it down the hallways; a show of "You better not do anything stupid now, you hear?" 

You shudder to think of what chaos it would cause if it EVER GOT OUT.

**> AR: Slightly shake PM.**

You nudge her a bit... Yeah, no response beyond a really slow BLINK. She's really out of it. What did they use on her? Cholorform shouldn't act like this, you'd think. 

**> DD: Realize you Used the WRONG DRUG on PM**

_Diiid You Now?_ You have no idea what you're talking about. You're absolutely 100% sure you used THE EXACT RIGHT KNOCKOUT DRUG on the PARCEL MISTRESS. 

(You toss an unmarked bottle out into the void when nobody's looking.)

**> PS + AD: Receive news of JAILBREAK.**

You keep a firm eye on the PROSPITIAN INTER-WEBS until the EXILE CAPSULE is set to depart.

Finally, news of the jailbreak hits, but it's... "EH, we caught the guy but then some other guys broke him out so what do we care?" NO CHASE is reported, and all blame is put FIRMLY on the people who turned the POOR INSPECTOR against his Kingdom in the FIRST PLACE.

**> AR: Know any good prison songs?**

Even if you did, you wouldn't SING them. That constitutes as CAUSING A DISTRACTION and it'd likely get you BEATEN UP and the STOLEN KEYS DISCOVERED. You don't want that.

**> AR: Do you know any way of PASSING THE TIME that will not get you BEATEN UP?**

Nope, you've got nothing. That's the whole point of DERSITE PRISONS. They're designed to be--

**> GROWLING CAT AROUSING TERROR: Break free.**

The HANDLER does something incredibly STUPID. They leave the CAT tied up to a WALL LAMP, and sneak off PRESUMA8LY TO HAVE A SMOKE.

The FREAKY CAT slips its COLLAR and DISAPPEARS.

**> AR: Would raising the alarm on this constitute being a distraction?**

...Weeelll.... Maybe??

You're considering raising the alarm when you start hearing THE PAIN FILLED SCREAMS from UPSTAIRS. 

...Welp, okay. They know. You'll just... sit here and try not to listen to the KARMIC DEBT being REPAID. 

**> SS: Consider fondness for JADE.**

You're.... admittedly a little SWAYED by the presence of DOG EARS AND TAIL on her DREAM SELF. She reminds you of a PUPPY. SO CUTE. 

It triggers a PRIMAL URGE to PROTECT and KEEP SAFE, urges which are HELD AT BAY by your CAT TIER PROTOTYPING. 

You're not going to refer to her as a PET, though. No way. That would be TOO CREEPY and possibly would convince the DIGNITARY TO ACTUALLY KILL HER despite what you say.

**> SMOKING GUARD: Regret life decisions.**

You're totally regretting it as you're CHASED WITHIN AN INCH OF YOUR LIFE by the very creature you were sworn to NEVER LET YOUR EYES OFF OF.

WHY. WHY DID YOU EVEN REMOTELY THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA????????

**> AR: Shake PM more.**

Yeah she's *really* out of it. Damn it if you're going to escape this is probably going to be the best time, as much as you hate to admit it.

**> Unmarked Bottle: What are your contents?**

You are now the UNMARKED BOTTLE. 

You are FALLING.

Presently, your contents are:

AIR.

You are EMPTY OF YOUR FORMER CONTENTS, which were as follows-

**> UNMARKED BOTTLE: Smash onto SOMEONE'S HEAD.**

You SMASH into the head of an IRR8 TROLL GHOST, and shatter into BILLIONS OF PIECES.

You Can NO LONGER BE THE BOTTLE, because the BOTTLE HAS BEEN SLAIN. The mystery of what was IN THE BOTTLE will never ever be solved ever from this perspective.

**> PM: Snap out of it.**

She's nowhere near capable of being "snapped" out of this state. If anything it will be a GRADUAL release from this SUPPOR'D STATE.

**> Be VRISKA: DOUBLE DIE from glass shards.**

You are now VRISKA.

You just got hit over the head by a RANDOM GLASS BOTTLE.

You'd say "OW" but you're a GHOST and it doesn't really hurt.

Also, like hell you'd DOUBLE DIE from a bottle over the head. YOU'VE SUFFERED WORSE ALREADY and LIVED TO TELL THE TALE... sort of. This BOTTLE will not be the END OF YOU.

**> AR: Just carry Parcel Mistress**

You pick her up after sneakily unlocking the CELL DOOR. Time to make a jail break!

You head off in the direction OPPOSITE THAT you last heard the SCREAMS coming from.

**> NINJA: Post last-second command.**

You are a NINJA INFILTRATOR, from that SAME ANYTHING GOES GROUP trying to create a weapon to defeat DERSE, sent upon learning that DERSE had a secret weapon of its own.

You were informed of this by way of PSYCHIC MESSAGE from a GHOST. 

You decide to sneak in an extra command into the PRISON COMPUTERS that UNLOCKS MOST OF THE DOORS as soon as someone tries to activate the EXTRA SECURE LOCKDOWN.

You're TAKING THAT CAT from DERSE and you're going to turn it on them if it's the LAST THING YOU DO.

**> AR: Punch Pungent Miscreant in the snout to assert dominance.**

...Of COURSE the Doors all OPEN, rendering your KEY RING USELESS. Seriously??

A PUNGENT MISCREANT emerges from his cell, roaring and getting in your way.

You SMASH YOUR FIST into his nose because GET OUTA MY WAY!!!

**> AR: How are you going to get the Parcel Mistress out with you?**

You'll carry her out with her on your back if you have to.

**> AR: Find the ROCKET BOARD.**

There's an idea. If you're lucky it might have been put in the PRISON BLOCK'S VAULT along with your PERSONAL BELONGINGS.

**> NINJA: Find the cat, posthaste!**

You FOLLOW THE SCREAMS, and find the CAT easy as day.

Now you just have to tame it and-

OH SNAP IT JUST TELEPORTED ONTO YOU FROM HALF WAY ACROSS THE ROOM OW OW OW WHY IS IT GOING FOR THE FACE!??

We stop being this Ninja for immediately obvious reasons.

**> TN + PM: Escape?**

The PUNGENT MISCREANT is too dazed by the DOMINANCE PUNCH to the SNOUT to escape at the moment!

The THIEVING NICHOLAS is too INCAPACITATED to do anything but moan feebly.

Besides, do we really care about these two random prisoners anyways??

It's not like they're going to be any more plot relevant than what they already did for the plot. What's with the extraneous focus on the side characters??

**> DERSE JAIL GUARDS: React to JAIL BREAK.**

They're reacting alright, reacting to their PRISON BEAST turning on them.

**> AR: Hear the cries of _EVERYONE IN JAIL_**

You hear it all, and there is only one appropriate reaction.

**> AR: Run like hell.**

You RUN like a METEOR is chasing you and it's RECKONING COME EARLY.

You pass by some IDIOTS standing around gawking at the carnage going on around them. You briefly wonder what it is with people and staring around watching people get MAULED SAVAGELY?

**> SS: Recieve news of CAT's escape.**

You receive word from one of your own PERSONAL COURIERS that the FREAKY CAT you secretly had commissioned for the JAIL has escaped and is EATING EVERYONE WHO TRIES TO ESCAPE.

Well, damn. You guess creating your own SECRET WAR WEAPON had to backfire eventually.

You wonder how much of this is due in part to the THREATENING LETTER you received earlier.

Well, only way to find out is to ASK.

**> JADE: answer SS**

Well, he says. Did you know about the CAT being set loose?

Cat? You don't know what he's talking about. 

You give a truthful SHRUG. 

**> SS: Well??**

Well what? She probably wouldn't know even if it WAS part of the plot. After all, you DID just kidnapp her. This is likely a RESPONSE to that.

Damn. You kinda screwed up with that move. Way to go, SLICK.

**> PM: Snap out of it?**

Again with the 'snapping out of it'?? You're vaguely aware of what's going on now. The NICE CELLMATE you had BROKE YOU OUT during a DISTRACTION of some kind.

There's... lots of screaming?

You might just appreciate the DRUG INDUCED STATE once you're coherent.

**> AR: Raid VAULT**

You find the CONFISCATION VAULT. The DOOR is fortunately, unlocked. You quickly search through it for a chest with YOUR CELL NUMBER on it.

There it is, #618. You OPEN THE CHEST and retrieve YOURS and the PARCEL MISTRESS' PERSONAL BELONGINGS.

You find the ROCKET BOARD as well. It's a LITTLE BEAT UP, but looks functional.

**> ESCAPETECH LV4: Jet Jammer: Let's Rocket!**

You find a SUFFICIENTLY LARGE WINDOW, and you carry PM out through it on the ROCKET BOARD.

**> AR: FREEDOM!**

As you fly away from Derse and TOWARDS PROSPIT, you can't help but let out a LAUGH. It's a strange laugh. You literally just DESERTED your KINGDOM. It's kind of a nervous laugh, and yet.... you don't care. You don't care that you've probably just left a BUNCH OF PEOPLE to die. So what? It's their fault for trying to use such a beast for CROWD CONTROLL anyways.

And really, it's not like this ONE EVENT will trigger a cascade of chaos to fall upon you and all you know!

For the first time in your life: you do not have to WORK within the RULES. There is no PAPERWORK. The only BOSS is YOURSELF.

The FREEDOM is INTOXICATING. 

_You could eat a WEIRD BUG and not even care!_

**> Jade: Hum a tune to calm your nerves.**

You try humming the MIRACULOUS LADYBUG theme, but the SLAYER seems to catch on, and says, 'nah, that's not calming at all.'

Then, he puts on a RECORD filled with nothing but JAZZ TUNES.

This, predictably, does nothing to CALM YOUR NERVES, The SLAYER, on the other hand, stops freaking out as much about the SLAUGHTER in DERSE'S PRISON.

That good mood, of course, visibly evaporates when a COURIER arrives and says that the BEAST HAS FLOWN THE COOP and CANNOT BE FOUND ANYWHERE.

**> SS: Shoot the messenger.**

Now just WHY would you do that? A Waste of a Perfectly good bullet if you ask you.

Now...

 _ **CATACLYSM**_ on the other hand???

You just activate the attack for the sheer SHOCK VALUE of it. The MESSENGER runs SCARED.

You turn towards one of the QUEEN'S POTTED PLANTS and DESTROY IT to use up the Cataclysm.

Jade whimpers at the sight.

You're starting to find it hard to ignore that urge to HUG HER and PET HER. God damn it, why did your thing have to be DOGS again??

**> ARGO: Receive Plan**

AC: and that's it??

TT: Yes. That's It.

AC: seems kinda... weak??

TT: We've had several hours more than you have to work on the problem.

TT: This is the best possible solution after much collaboration.

TT: My powers indicate a nearly 78.76% chance of success.

AC: that's... a lot of room for error, rhozee.

TT: I know, but still, it's better than Meenah's Plan.

AC: i guess so...

AC: oh well, if it's the best shot we've got it's the best shot we've got.

TT: Let's just hope Terezi doesn't prototype something stupid when the time comes and the interference is just Trollian acting up.

AC: yeah. *AC nods*

**> REZI: Open BLACK MESA OFFICE crate**

Inside you find a BUNCH of random shit. Including COFFEE MUGS, DAILY PLANNERS, and.... oddly enough that's just random shit lying on top of a rather OBVIOUS FALSE BOTTOM. Come on, Grandpa, the crate goes on for another FOOT AND A HALF, this FALSE BOTTOM isn't fooling anyone.

You OPEN the FALSE BOTTOM and find...

A HUGE ASS GIANT ORANGE CRYSTAL in a GLASS BOX with a SHIPPING LABEL: "Deliver to Test Lab C-33/a" and an IDENTIFICATION NUMBER: "Sample GG-3883" ...You have no idea what any of these things mean.

Underneath the CRYSTAL CASE is a PAPER NOTE containing a MEMORANDUM to people called C. GREEN, DR. HASS, and a DR. KL????. The THIRD NAME is BLURRED OUT with a PRINTER INK SPLOTCH, as is the DATE the note was issued. 05/11/20??

The header reads:

_"ANOMALOUS MATERIAL GG-3883"_

Then follows:

_"After studying the substance evaluation report about samples returned from the GG EXPEDITION, the senior staff has decided to move forward with the program._

_"We are particularly interested in sample GG-3883. Although your experiments have revealed unexpected spectral analysis fluctuations with GG-3883, you've identified it as the purest and largest sample we have._

_"Therefore, the senior staff has decided that GG-3883 will replace EP-0021 in the simulation._

_"Note that we must deviate from standard analysis procedures in order to have the sample ready in time. We understand that this is a violation of normal anomalous materials handling protocol, so I have already authorized the enclosed materials requisition form. Please see to it that the sample is ready to be delivered to Dr. Freeman on the day of the experiment."_

You don't know what the hell this is, but you have the SNEAKING SUSPICION that your grandfather STOLE IT from whatever lab it was meant to be SENT TO. 

That sounds like PRIME PROTOTYPING MATERIAL if ever you saw it! 

**> Rezi: Pick up the crate to avoid contact with the crystal.**

You're not an 1D1OT. Of course there's a reason it's in a GLASS CASE. (You just don't know what it is.) 

**> AR: Reach PROSPIT.**

That takes at least half an hour, during which time the PARCEL MISTRESS comes to full consciousness.

You have a LOVELY CONVERSATION about how DERSITE PRISONS SUCK.

She vouches for you with the PROSPITIAN GUARDS who came to investigate someone ROCKETING TOWARDS PROSPIT from DERSE.

You even get to keep the rocket board. Sweet!

...You're then directed to GO SEE THE QUEEN.

...Not so sweet. Dang it.

**> SS: PET the PUPPY.**

N-NO! You won't! That's the dumbest idea ever! It would almost certainly get your pup--PRISONER killed!

_{If this had an animated panel, it would have Jack in the same position as that one panel where John is told to leave a surprise in the mailbox. Jade sits in the background looking confused.}_

**> PM: Go with AR.**

Of course you are! You still have a SUCCESSFUL DELIVERY to report to the Queen!

**> AR: Meet with the WHITE QUEEN.**

You arrive in the PROSPITIAN GRAND THRONE ROOM, which, like DERSE, is just a whole bunch of HALLWAYS intersecting together. You feel a little nervous about the LAST TIME you were in a room like this.

Here she is. The WHITE QUEEN. If you hadn't just BRUTALLY MURDERED your DERSITE LOYALTY with a PRISON BREAK, you'd be tempted to DO SOMETHING OBSCENE. But you're not. Your FAMILY would be SO VERY DISAPPOINTED.

The WHITE QUEEN hears the PARCEL MISTRESS' REPORT first and foremost. Nods are had, and a PAYMENT is RENDERED.

Then. she turns her attention to you.

You GULP, and reach up to take off your HAT. She dismisses that motion and then asks you to speak frankly, as if she were just ANY OTHER CARAPACIAN. You say of course, and struggle not to add on the YOUR MAJESTY. 

She asks you what prompted your ODD ACTIONS, and you admit that you held no other reason other than to NOT DO THE PAPERWORK that you were forced to do, and that you were BORED. She laughs, then asks if you're ANY GOOD with EXPLOSIVES?

You say, YES MA'AM, you like to DABBLE HERE AND THERE. What Luck, she says, then directs you both to follow her into her PRIVATE CHAMBERS.

Oh GOSH this is so improper if your PARENTS could see you now you're certain they'd be BLOWING STEAM OUT OF THEIR EARS, as well as OTHER, UNMENTIONABLE PLACES. 

**> WQ: Deliver Task**

Once in your room, you PRESENT the AIMLESS RENEGADE with his TASK- to BOOBY TRAP the WHITE KING'S SCEPTER and PREPARE IT TO DETONATE an UNKNOWN PAYLOAD upon activation.

The PARCEL MISTRESS asks you why you're desecrating such a PRICELESS ARTIFACT. You show her first the LETTERS from the SLAYER, and then a PAPER CORRESPONDENCE from the PLAYERS. 

Upon reading over the documents, the Parcel Mistress looks up to you and asks what she can do to help.

**> Jade: Attempt to make small talk. **

Maybe you can convince the SLAYER to set you free if you play nice?

So you start talking about the first thing that comes to mind and that thing is...

 _ **> CHEESE-STEAKS.**_

What are they even? you prompt. Are they steaks cooked with cheese or are they a CHEESE PRODUCT pretending to be MEAT like a CHEESECAKE is? 

The SLAYER regards you with AMUSEMENT and CONFUSION.

It occurs to you that he might not have any idea what A CHEESE-STEAK OR A CHEESECAKE are, but you STICK TO IT ANYWAYS. Also, wow, you're starting to feel HUNGRY. Your stomach GROWLS.

Talking about food will do that, you suppose.

**> SS: Order food.**

You get the DIGNITARY on the phone to BRING DOWN some FOOD, because come to think of it, you're getting HUNGRY yourself. You request CHEESE, and any CHEESE PRODUCT that is in the KITCHEN. You ask for some CAMEMBERT for yourself, specifically, although you aren't sure WHY you want that particular type of cheese.

The DIGNITARY accepts his task, but protests, saying that if this is just another thing to DO WITH THE GIRL, he's going to BEHEAD HER for this mission sending him into STINKY CHEESE TERRITORY. You quell his traitorous thoughts by insisting this is just a CRAVING brought on by the PROTOTYPING.

He relents, but only barely.

**> SS: Remove the potential DOGGY DESTROYER.**

You briefly entertain the thought of CATACLYSM-ING the DIGNITARY if he doesn't pull through with your CHEESE LUNCHEON. 

**> SS: Send DD on a MISSION, FAR AWAY from the PUPPY.**

You... think that sending him after the OTHER PLAYERS would be a worthwhile task, yes. 

**> WQ: Give PM a task.**

You give her a task SUITABLE for the PLAN. She is to ACCOMPANY the KNIGHT when he makes his DELIVERY, and pretend to be a PLEASANT MAID sent to directly oversee the handing over of the SCEPTER, and to CONFIRM the WITCH'S RELEASE. 

She's dismayed by her having to go back to DERSE, but the idea of seeing JACK NOIR'S Machinations blow up in his face is TOO MUCH TO RESIST.

**> DD: Come back with the cheese.**

You enter the QUEEN'S FORMER-now JACK'S PRIVATE CHAMBERS, a CART LOAD OF CHEESES behind you. A WORRIED CHEF pushes said cart.

**> DD: Cats are lactose intolerant! Something is up.**

You don't know if LACTOSE INTOLERANCE is shared by prototyping or not, but you're pretty sure JACK never had any cravings for CHEESE. But maybe it's the CROW prototyping that's causing it? You aren't sure.

You start poking and prodding for WEAKNESSES in his MENTAL DEFENSES while he's SCARFING DOWN CHEESE LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW.

How are things? You ask. GOOMPD, he replies, mouth full. Don't talk with your mouth full, you scold. YURMP PHA OME MALKIN PU MEH, he retorts.

You eye the PRISONER as the CHEFF hands her a SANDWICH. She chews on it without much fanfare. She doesn't seem TOO HUNGRY, or at least, not as hungry as JACK IS. Damn, what is that, his tenth cheese wheel in the last minute? How is he even eating them that fast???

You'd wonder about WOLVES and CHEESE ALLERGIES, but you're pretty sure DREAM SELF LOGIC overrides ALLERGY SENSIBILITIES. It's not like you could shove PEANUTS down someone's DREAM THROAT and have them die of an ALLERGIC REACTION! More than likely they'd just choke on the SHELLS.

You mean, really, whose IDEAL DREAM SELF would have a thing like a COMMON FOOD ALLERGY?? You're PRETTY SURE than anyone who suffers from an ALLERGY of that sort would KILL to have a dreamself that's IMMUNE to such things. 

At least, that's what you'd think if you had a FOOD ALLERGY, which you don't.

What even started all this talk of FOOD ALLERGIES again? You wonder as you idly swipe a SMALL CHEESE CUBE and-

BLECH. Camembert.

You cue up the APPROPRIATE "BLUH" stock image and spit the cube out on the ground. 

**> SS: WHO DARES WASTE THE CHEESE!?**

You grab DD by the JACKET COLLAR and ask him what the hell he thinks he's doing wasting PERFECTLY GOOD CHEESE LIKE THAT!??!

The CHEF predictably ABSCONDS while the DIGNITARY narrows his FIRMEST GAZE at you.

Definitely the Prototyping, he remarks, almost nonchalantly, as if he DOES NOT CARE that you're ONE STEP AWAY from DECAYING HIM INTO DUST.

**> DD: Consider killing JADE'S REAL SELF.**

Well now ain't THAT an idea, you think to yourself once you convince Jack to let you go. It's almost as if if were something you've been considering this ENTIRE TIME. 

You already put the word out to the SOOTH SAYERS to figure out which METEOR held her EXILE TERMINAL, and which DEFENSE PORTAL it will be heading towards. They'll be sending a MUCH LARGER THAN PLANNED meteor through instead during Jack's RECKONING ATTEMPT.

Then, he'll have to watch as the girl's DREAM SELF dies a very SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH.

**> Future DAVE: Deliver the SCEPTER to PROSPIT.**

Dave delivers the scepter to Prospit and the Aimless Renegade gets to rigging it right off the bat. 

**> (Past?) Future DAVE: Get the SCEPTER.**

See Above. It will get/has already been done. The KING was AMUSED by the plan and GLADLY gave the scepter over.

ONLY PROBLEM is that you don't know how this turns out beyond the OBVIOUS fact that Rezi will enter the game.

**> DAVE + PM: Deliver the SCEPTER to JACK.**

Just gotta wait for the AIMLESS RENEGADE to finish his POWDER MONKEY WORK with the DELICATE PAYLOAD. Shouldn't be too long now.

**> AR: Finish Rigging**

You've FINISHED the rigging. 

You present the disguised PARCEL MISTRESS with her SCEPTER.

The KNIGHT OF TIME gives you a curt NOD and a SALUTE and then TIME TRAVELS himself and PM away to go complete this RATHER INTRICATE PLAN.

You have no idea what the hell is going on, but the pyromaniac inside you is just ITCHING to see the no doubt EXPLOSIVE results.

**> CD: ANNOUNCE**

You ANNOUNCE to the SLAYER and the DIGNITARY that the KNIGHT OF TIME and a SCEPTER BEARER have appeared via TIME TRAVEL.

Jack orders you to let them in with a 'let the games begin.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of what I felt were redundant reader submitted commands here at the time. Like- I felt that some of these commands were just. Obvious things that didn't need reader commands to make happen???
> 
> I think at the time I was just so exhausted from all of this plot that I was just trying to get to the ending so we could move on with the story. Some of these reader commands were focusing on side details I didn't want to focus on, meanwhile side details I wished that were being picked up on weren't and... yeah.
> 
> Text Adventures with Reader Submitted Commands are HARD. UGH. I could've handled this section way better than I did.


	18. ACT 3: Let's make a Deal.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things start exploding. Messily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Explosions.  
> Character Death.  
> Electrocution.  
> Planetary Calamity.

**> DAVE: Let's Make a Deal**

Dave ENTERs the PRIVATE ROOM of the FORMER BLACK QUEEN. 

"GOOD EVENING, DERSE!!" Dave greets with a flourish of your KNIGHTLY CAPE. "JADE EGBERT COME ON OUT! You're the next contestant on the PRICE IS RIGHT!"

Jade peeks her head out from behind a CHEESE CART, her eyes WIDEN in glee. "Dave!!"

The SOVEREIGN SLAYER narrows his eyes at Dave. [Just what the hell do you think you're doin, kid?] he asks. [This ain't no gameshow,] he adds.

"Oh, I know that," Dave says, "but do you? Because from where I've been standing WHOO BOY the stench!! What is it with you Prototyped people and the smell of STINKY CHEESE??"

The Dignitary chokes a little at that. 

The Slayer ignores it, preferring to snap his fingers and hold out his hand. [Whatever, kid. Just hand over the scepter.]

"Not so fast!" Dave says, "You gotta hand Jade Over First!"

[Nuh Uh! I made my deal perfectly CLEAR!] The Slayer activates _**-CATACLYSM!-** _[Scepter First, then the Girl. CAPICHE?]

"How about this, you send her three fourths of the way?" Dave offers instead. "That way I know you're not going to pull any funny business like trying to kill her with an explosive collar or anything."

The Dignitary face-palms, muttering what sounds like 'why didn't I think of that?'

The Slayer considers the deal for a moment, then NODS. [Alright.] He sends JADE forwards THREE FOURTHS of the way. [Now bring me that scepter.]

Dave nods to PM, and she steps forwards to give the SLAYER the SCEPTER.

The Dignitary eyes her warily, as if something just occurred to him.

[Weight feels right,] The Slayer weighs the SCEPTER in his hands. [A tad heavier than I'd have expected, but maybe that's just my imagination of what we're about to do... ]

And then he ACTIVATES the SCEPTER.

The FOUR ORBS glow RED, and distantly, you can hear the FIRST of the METEORS hurtling towards SKAIA.

The RECKONING has BEGUN.

[It's LEGIT,] the Slayer snaps his FINGERS, and the SHOCK COLLAR around Jade's neck SPLITS OPEN. 

Jade rushes over on all fours towards you- it'd be more adorable if not for the terrified expression on her face implying that she doesn't trust herself on two legs at the moment.

"Alright then," Dave says. "Guess that means we're leaving?"

[NAH.] The SLAYER grins. [This is where you three DIE.]

And then the HUNGRY BRUTE and the COURTYARD DROLL block the DOORWAY.

"Well damn, if this wasn't a stunning betrayal that nobody saw coming," Dave drawls sarcastically.

"Dave, don't push them!" Jade hisses to you. "He'll kill us both if you let him!"

"Who says we're gonna let him though?" Davae ask as the Parcel Mistress returns to their side. "See, we've already won, Jacky there even knows it."

[Yes. THAT.] The Slayer narrows his eager expression at you. [What WAS your game plan here?] He holds up the scepter. [I suppose you've got some ace up your sleeve. Maybe the Black Scepter's ready to go off any second now? Well?? What is it?]

You smirk. "Three words."

[And what's that?] The Slayer asks, pointing the SCEPTER at you like a MICROPHONE.

Rookie Mistake.

_**> "Argo: Wings Out!"** _

The PASS PHRASE activates the MICRO EXPLOSIVE- cracking open the orb on the SCEPTER. SMOKE FILLS THE ROOM.

A moment later, the SPRITE AMULET hidden inside the SKAIAN ORB lets loose its HIDDEN CONTENTS: A GREEN AND ORANGE FLASHING SPRITE^2'D PLAYER. 

CROW WINGS spear through the SMOKE as GLOWING CLAWS coated in CATACLYSM swoop out and DELIVER UNTO OTHERS AS WOULD BE DONE UNTO THEM.

The BLACK QUEEN'S RING is DESTROYED even as JACK NOIR looses his HEAD.

Through the smoke, the Dignitary can barely do anything before he finds himself SIMILARLY removed of his HEAD as an AVIAN WINGSPAN lends an INCREDIBLE SPEED BONUS to an already FAST PLAYER.

But not to forget about our KNIGHT OF TIME- who TIME CLONES himself to dispatch the OTHER TWO Members of the MIDNIGHT CREW at the exact same time as the FIRST TWO.

Before the smoke can disperse and reveal to Jade just EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED, the KNIGHT grabs everyone and TIME TRAVELS the FUCK out of there. 

**> DERSE: FADE TO BLACK.**

At Derse's CENTRAL CORE, the FREAKY CAT appears, powers up its DEVASTATING POWERS, and UNLEASHES IT upon the entire PLANET.

To the outside perspective, DERSE disappears with a FLASH OF GREEN LIGHT, never to be seen again.

**> JOHN: Evacuate the VEIL.**

At some indeterminate point in John's timeline, he EVACUATES the METEORS in the VEIL of PROSPITIANS AND DERSITES who were caught off guard by a SUDDEN RECKONING. Still, some get EXILED.

**> PS + PI + AD: Be EXILED.**

The EXILE TERMINAL hurtles into SKAIA's defense portals.

These three are EXILED, and their terminal CRASHES DOWN into a LARGE OCEAN.

**> Various minor POINT OF VIEW DERSITES: REACT.**

Across the MEDIUM two cries are cried, beginning with the same utterance of The SLAYER is SLAIN! 

For those left in the session the second half reads: His Greed Became Our Downfall.

For those left on DERSE, where it was RELOCATED so far outside the session itself that SKAIA appears as a tiny speck of light in the far distance, the cry is...

_We Wish His Greed had Finished Us Off As Well._

**> MS. PAINT: Wow, this mural just gets more and more complicated.**

Indeed it does, she nods as she finishes the final touches on the X4 HEADS ROLL COMBO part of the mural, and starts work on the DISAPPEARANCE OF DERSE.

**> DD'S GHOST: Quickly! Punch JACK'S GHOST before the HORRORTERRORS eat you!**

You do so, with a side order of "I TOLD YOU SO!"

**> ARGO + DAVE + PM + DREAM JADE: Return to PROSPIT.**

The heroes return TRIUMPHANT. PROSPITIANS everywhere begin to CELEBRATE the defeat of DERSE and the RESCUE of their PRINCESS. 

Although, as some SURVEY the damage to the BATTLE FIELD caused by the IMPACT of the MOON OF PROSPIT, finding it to be MINIMAL in overall impact, the RECKONING will cause more damage long term- at least, until the THIRD PROTOTYPING reshapes the BATTLEFIELD.

**> BRO: Continue being awesome.**

He continues to be AWESOME, leaning up against a wall even as TIME TRAVEL is used by HIS LITTLE BRO to prototype ARGOSPRITE with the CROWSPRITE. 

He didn't know what good this will do, but he supposes it will get explained eventually (if not already).

**> TIKKI: Continue being cute.**

_Mew Mew Mew! Mewmewmewmewmew! Meeeeewwwwww!_

**_MEW!!! <3_ **

**> REZI: Where is your DREAM SELF?**

You decide to CHECK IN with your FRIENDS by GOING DIRECTLY DREAMSELF, rather than checking PESTERCHUM, because you'd rather see their reactions face to face and--

What.

Why the hell are you in the LOHAC STOCK EXCHANGE???

What the hell happened while you were OUT searching for PRIME PROTOTYPING MATERIAL?

**> JADE'S DAD: Watch the news, sky**

You're going to spend the NEXT SEVERAL HOURS doing this instead of GETTING SOME SLEEP like your daughter is.

**> AR: Where will you go now that you've abandoned Derse?**

You're not sure, you think as the Parcel Mistress sits down beside you. But you're beginning to suspect it will be beside this girl. 

Besides the QUEEN and the PLAYERS, she's the only one not giving you weird looks.

**> Kids: Discourse**

The narrative doesn't bother with the chat log format this time because I don't want to deal with the complicated HTML of two-colored dialogue lines, so you get this freshly rewritten without color code formatting at all. Really stretching the boundaries here of what this rewrite even entails, that we are.

"You know," Argosprite^2 said, hovering in the air on glowing neon orange wings. "When the plan said to double prototype my sprite-self, i was kinda expecting all my old past life memories to come surging back. And they did, but... They're all Doomed Argos who could've been and not any Daves or Nepetas or Davepetas?? Is that weird or...?"

Dave shrugged. "I think we should count our blessings that everything went off without a hitch and that we got Jade back safe and sound." A pause, then, "Oh, and speaking of safe and sound I gotta go get Rezi before the Nakodiles try to cook her Bee-arr-bee." He time loops away.

"Argo?" Jade asks in the silence of Dave's sudden absence.

"Yes, Jade?" Argosprite^2 asks.

"Why are you flashing two different colors?"

Argosprite^2 giggles. "That's a complicated question, Jade. The long and short of it is- I half died, and then didn't and became half cat. Then I became half crow. But that's still just this one me. I've got another normal me that's stashed away somewhere and isn't all... Sprite Codey."

"Uh, okay," Jade answered, blinking, and sweating a little. "This is a really weird dream I've been having."

"Well," Argosprite^2 said, "it is your Dream Self, but no, this is all happening."

"...It is?" Jade asked, frowning.

"Remember SBURB?" Argo asked.

"...Oh. That Game?" Jade asked, a dawning inkling of memory forming somewhere inside her brain.

"Yeah, that game." Argosprite^2 nodded as Dave and Rezi time looped back in. "It's all pretty weird to say the least!"

"Weird is putting it Mildly!" Rezi grouched. 

"And we're back, a time traveler's story," Dave said, jokingly referring to a movie.

"Rezi?" Jade stared on. "Why do you have black hair?"

"Really, that's the thing she focuses on, the hair?" Dave asked, startled.

"I know, right? Not even the horns or the alternian skin tone?" Rezi asked.  
  
"This is a dream, that seems normal, the hair color being off isn't," Jade said simply.

Rezi sighed. "Jade, this is not a dream. When you wake up, you need to turn on your computer and install SBURB so you can get me into the game next."

"Why?" Jade asked.

"Because paradoxes," Dave answered. "Rezi needs to enter inorder for us to get that scepter that we already put Argo's sprite pendant into so we can save you from Jack Noir."

Jade blinked. "Okay, I get that dream logic. So I 'wake up' then get Rezi into SBURB and that's it?" She closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. "I'll talk to you in a bit then!"

"Wait-!" Argo started- but Jade slumped over, waking up as she fell asleep. "...Damn't."

**> JADE: Wake**

Jade Egbert awakens, feeling rather confused. She's sure she's awake, but also, she feels like she's still dreaming.

Still, oh well, it's a dream!

She gets up and sneaks over to her computer- booting it up.

Pesterchum loads and Jade blinks at all the messages on her ALT ACCOUNT, she considers swapping back to her OLD ACCOUNT but dream or not she's too emotionally exhausted for that specific hassle.

Jade looks for the Server and Client Disks... ah, there's the things Rezi sent still in the box. Jade opens them and... nope, actually, the CLIENT DISK is missing.

Jade recalls opening the box and doing something stupid with the disk during a crying fit... well, atleast her dreams' reflecting reality here.

**> Jade: Pester Rezi.**

-goawayGetlost [GG] began pestering gratingCheese [GC] @ 12:08 A.M.-

GG: so im installing the sburb server thing

GG: is that right?

GC: y3s! y3s 1t 1s!

GC: you 4lso n33d to 1nst4ll th3 cl13nt d1sk.

GG: oh... i don't remember what i did with that.

GC: .... . ...

GC: ok4y w3'll worry 4bout th4t l4t3r.

GG: so what do i need to do once its booted up?

GC: ok4y, l1st3n clos3ly...

GC: you n33d to put down thr33 d3v1c3s.

GC: 4long w1th 4 punch c4rd

GC: th3n you n33d to f1nd your cl13nt d1sk 4nd 1nst4ll 1t.

GG: kk!

GC: btw, "dr34m" or not, 1ts n1c3 to s33 you t4lk1ng to us 4g41n.

GG: aww

GG: also, can i just say that my dreams have some pretty good music composers?

GC: h4t3 to br34k 1t to you, but th4t 1nst4ll tr4ck w4s l3g1t1m4t3ly compos3d 1rl, j4d3.

GG: i guess im dream remembering it then?

GC: J4D3, TH1S 1S NOT 4 DR34M.

GC: but, 1 w1ll not 4rgu3 th3 po1nt 1f th4t 1s wh4t g3ts us 1nto th3 g4m3.

GG: ._.;

GG: k

**> JADE: Deploy the PHERNALIA.**

Jade DEPLOYS the items in the PHERNALIA, feeling somewhat disappointed in how mundane and pedestrian this is for a dream. In fact, it feels like the only thing she was told to do. She was KIND OF EXPECTING MORE at this point.

Jade starts to feel a sense of FREE WILL unlike any she's felt before.

She... she...

She completely ignores her computer to try to find the SBURB CLIENT DISK.

Let's see now, she got the DISKS on her BIRTHDAY a few days ago and... She... was so upset about Bec that She....

She went and did something so completely stupid she's having a hard time believing it, even in a dream.

She went and you BURIED THE DISK.

She'll have to SNEAK OUT and get the SHOVEL in order to dig it up.

**> REZI: throw crystal into KERNEL SPRITE.**

You do that first thing after opening the CRUXTRUDER, completely unaware of your sudden lack of supervision.

The SPRITE accepts the CRYSTAL although it does so in a FUNNY WAY.

It's incredibly FLASHY and looks kind of UNSTABLE. It's letting off ARCS of GREEN LIGHTNING despite the sprite being colored TEAL. 

You may have just prototyped something INCREDIBLY STUPID.

**> Jade: Sneak Out**

Jade peers out from her room into the hallway. No sign of DAD on this floor! She makes her way to the stairs and- 

Jade sees the flicker of the TELEVISION. Her DAD is watching a muted LATE NIGHT NEWS SHOW with the SUBTITLES ON. They're talking about some kind of explosing wiping out A City?? 

Jade's no psychologist, but even she knows the occasional VIOLENT DREAMS are the norm after losing a LOVED ONE.

Her father appears to be DRINKING. Whatever news he's watching appears to have made him VERY SAD. But then again, you're no psychologist.

Jade would start to try to figure out what this entire dream means, but, once more, with feeling:

YOU ARE NO PSYCHOLOGIST.

She leaves that stuff to the professionals even in reality.

**> JADE: Sneak by.**

She slips down the stairs and then behind the couch. She can hear her dad SNIFFLING slightly. If this were not a dream, she'd hug him right now.

She slips into the kitchen without incident, and then out into the LAUNDRY ROOM. Just like a dream, it was all too easy.

She grabs the SHOVEL from off the wall, right next to the SLEDGE HAMMER, and then unlocks the DOOR.

Her father doesn't react when Jade opens it and heads out into the yard.

Dream Easy as Dream Pie!

**> REZI: Get a CRUXITE DOWEL from the CRUXTRUDER.**

You grab one, careful not to get ZAPPED by the RESONANCESPRITE.

**> JADE: Unearth BECQUEREL.**

She doesn't need to go that DEEP into the earth, which was really stupid of her, come to think of it. 

She really hopes she doesn't hit the disk by accident when she digs it up.

**> REZI: Use the PRE-PUNCHED CARD and the CRUXITE DOWEL on the TOTEM LAYTHE to get a CRUXITE TOTEM.**

You get all that done, though you have to wonder WHAT THE HELL the entry item is just going by the picture alone.

**> JADE: Retrieve DISK**

She digs up just enough of the top layer to find the SBURB CLIENT DISK BOX.

She opens it to check the disk, and frowns upon finding that some DIRT had gotten inside when she'd burried it.

Oh well, that should be easy enough to clean off. 

**> REZI: Use the CRUXITE TOTEM on the ALCHEMITER.**

You get an CRUXITE HAND-HELD ANTI-MASS SPECTROMETER!

This thing looks INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS!!

You feel like you should be wearing a METAL SUIT before you put this thing to use.

Maybe if your GRANDFATHER had left behind one of his IRONMAN SUITS you'd be in a better position for that.

Oh well.

**> JADE: ENTER**

Jade enters the house, quietly closing the door behind her and LOCKING it secure.

That's when everyone in the neighborhood hears a CRASH from the TV ROOM, and the sound of a LIGHT blowing out and ELECTRICITY ZAPPING SOMETHING.

**> REZI: ENTER.**

You turn on the ANTI-MASS SPECTROMETER.

Nothing seems to happen at first, but then the RESONANCESPRITE leaps head(???)first into the glowing mouth of the scanner!!

You get the feeling that you should seek LOWER GROUND immediately!

You run for a transportalizer and zip down to the GROUND FLOOR just in time to avoid the EXPLOSION that sends your house flying into the Medium!!

**> JADE: INVESTIGATE.**

She enters her TV ROOM, and finds her FATHER lying face first on the floor, with the TELEVISION lying on top of his back and that FREAKING CAT standing on top of THAT.

Jade snarls, clenching her hands, nearly forgetting about the PRECIOUS CARGO. She then let loose an enraged BARK that sends the CAT scampering away with a flash of LIGHT.

Jade hurries over to her DAD, and pulls the TV off of him.

This is a mistake that almost ELECTROCUTES HER to the point of DEATH, instead, merely knocking her UNCONSCIOUS and sending you back to your DREAM SELF, who looks upwards at SKAIA just in time to watch the results of REZI's ENTRY.

**> Everyone: Watch the BATTLEFIELD**

It begins to transform, going from SQUARE to SPHERICAL. 

The TOWER for the THIRD PROTOTYPING begins to GLOW as it accepts a KERNEL of DATA.

**> PAST-FUTURE-DAVE: Get the WHITE KING off the BATTLEFIELD**

You time travel to SKAIA, and ask the KING to follow you to PROSPIT so that the QUEEN might explain to him a SITUATION that developed.

He deactivates his PROTOTYPINGS, and allows you to take him to PROSPIT, where the QUEEN tells him of the plan with the SCEPTER.

Curiously, you notice that the THIRD PROTOTYPING never affected him the entire time you talked.

**> PAST-FUTURE-DAVE: Get the WHITE KING'S SCEPTER from the WHITE KING.**

He relinquishes it to you, and you TIME TRAVEL INTO THE PAST to do a BUNCH OF STUFF that we've already seen.

**> REZI: Is your SPRITE still alive?**

You dare to look into the RUINS of the ATRIUM, hunting for signs of the SPRITE.

Alas, it seems that the RESONANCE SPRITE had suffered a CASCADING FAILURE and has DIED.

**> DERSE: Receive 3rd PROTOTYPING.**

Our view briefly focuses on DERSE as a KERNEL reaches the third tower after navigating the short distance of TEMPORAL CHAOS between DERSE and the EDGE OF THE SESSION.

The TOWER accepts the prototyping, and then--

The FREAKY CAT leaps onto the TOWER as the data begins to TRANSMIT skaia wards. It then RIDES the DATA WAVE forwards, and rockets towards SKAIA like a METEOR.

**> BLACK KING: REACT.**

You are the BLACK KING, and despite the BATTLEFIELD having become it's THIRD FORM, it seems that you have YET TO RECEIVE your THIRD PROTOTYPING CORE.

Strange, this, you muse as you look upon a QUAINT FARM. Something must have happened to DERSE's TOWER.

You're about to ask a SUBORDINATE for A RADIO, when you hear the strangest sounding meteor EVER.

**> Freaky Cat: COLLIDE**

The CAT hurtles past PROSPIT, crashing into the FOURTH, UNUSED TOWER and blowing a HOLE through it as it triggers a defense portal and SLIPS THROUGH to earth.

Well, there was THAT time loop closed.

Still, the FOURTH TOWER now seems INOPERABLE. Probably for the best since the RING and SCEPTER are both destroyed.

**> BK: Receive Prototyping**

Your SCEPTER glows as it receives the data. Finally! You were beginning to wonder whe--GRK.

Your body seizes up as the ENERGY from the CRYSTAL enters your body.

This... This is not right.

**> WV: REACT.**

You are now a WARWARRY VILLAGER. You are just a SIMPLE DERSITE FARMER, and you are WARY of the BLACK KING who has been hovering around looking like he's missing his THIRD PROTOTYPING. It's weird, but as long as he doesn't do anything too brash you suppose you could tollerate his presence and-

NOPE. Now he's started spewing out GREEN LIGHTNING. Oh SHIT that is NOT GOOD.

The LIGHTNING starts striking parts of your FARMLAND, and RANDOMLY either INCINERATES or DECAYS the crops!!

You RUN LIKE HELL and GET OUT OF THERE as FAST as you possibly CAN.

**> ==> **

You run.

**> ==>**

And Run.

**> ==> **

It never seems like you get far enough away.

  
**_> ==][_ **

You feel like you're being chased.

**> ='+D**

You run past WAR TORN FIELDS and CONFUSED CARAPACIANS. 

**> %6&* _3## >_**

Others start RUNNING with you.

The GLOWING BURST of ENERGY from the BLACK KING continues to GROW.

**> =---* _**!!_ #$+ _=}_**

You find a TRANSPORTALIZER, and start shepperding your fellow CARAPACIANS, Prospitian and Dersite alike, through it, watching as the WAVE OF ENERGY comes CLOSER and CLOSER.

Finally, the last of those who followed you for sheer common sense escape, and you step on the pad.

**> \/\/\/: 35(4|*3**

One moment, you're facing a WALL OF GREEN FIRE, the next, you're being pulled off the pad by a PARCEL MISTRESS and an AUTHORITY REGULATOR, just in time, too, because the pad EXPLODES.

A moment later, you hear an ECHOING BOOM, much more distant, and UPWARDS.

You look up.

**> 8|<: =_><\\*|_|)_=**

THE BLACK KING CANNOT CONTAIN THE POWER.

**> 84++|_3|=13|_|): |)3+0|\|4\\+3**

Everyone on PROSPIT watches in HORROR as the BATTLEFIELD EXPLODES like a STAR, before suddenly collapsing inwards and becoming A SWIRLING RIFT IN SPACE.

SKAIA around the BATTLEFIELDS REMAINS begin to become PULLED INWARDS.

**> Dave: Summarize**

Well.

FUCK.

Dave guesses everyones hopes that Rezi's prototyping choice wasn't stupid were false ones.

No wonder the TROLLS were having problems seeing what was going on in this session after this point.

**> WQ: Order Evacuation**

You ORDER Prospit's evacuation towards the TWO HABITABLE WORLDS, The LAND OF LIGHT AND FORESTS, and the newly entered LAND OF FROST AND FROGS.

**> JADE: Wake Up!**

As you're carried away by ARGOSPRITE^2, you faint, and wake up once more in her HOUSE, with....

_**OH NO! DAD!!!** _

  
**> JADE'S DAD: Are you still alive?**

Jade checks on DAD, reaching to his throat for a PULSE...

She can't find one! But that's probably because she doesn't know where to look.

Jade quickly begin checking his wrists. But she can't FIND A PULSE there either.

Finally, last resort choice.

She ROLLS her dad onto his back and place your hands over his CHEST, where you KNOW his heart is...

...

...

...And...

She can't feel his heart. 

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God OH GOD.

Jade climb to her feet and stumble towards the KITCHEN, hoping to find the PHONE. But the damned thing is missing off the hook! The CORD dangles, severed in the middle as if it had been CUT by something.

 ** _NO. NO. NO NO. NOOOONONONONONONONO_** this cannot be happening this is just a really terrifying dream but even so, Jade has GOT to do something--

**> Jade: Check Dad's Room.**

She hurries for her dad's BEDROOM, stumbling up the stairs as her heart HURTS for reasons that probably have more to do with the ELECTRICAL SHOCK she took more than the pain of possibly losing her dad.

She checks the room for his PDA, but she can't find it. She checks for the OTHER landline phone in here as well...

But even the PHONE CRADLE is missing!!

No.NO.NO.THIS STUPID CAT IS NOT GOING TO TAKE ANOTHER PERSON SHE CARES ABOUT FROM HER!!!

  
**> JADE: Use TOOTHPASTE on the GAME DISC.**

She has but ONE HOPE of saving her DAD. JADE MUST ENTER THE GAME.

She starts the work of CLEANING THE DISK when she discovers the CRACK she must have put in it when she clenched her hands earlier. 

She uses some TOOTHPASTE to fill in the gap, and prays this works.

**> JOHN: Move PROSPIT into the VOID.**

You'd love to, but there's no sense in it.

Prospit and Derse always get destroyed, physically. It's their PEOPLE that need to be saved, more often than not.

You lend your hand where you can in helping evacuate people to two of the three planets. (Cause only Nakodiles live comfortably on LOHAC. Damn sweaty amphibians.)

Besides, you've already seen what happens next from the TROLL'S PERSPECTIVE.

**> PROSPIT: Be destroyed.**

The poor GOLDEN PLANET is hit by several bursts of DECAYING LIGHTNING from the colapsing SKAIA, and then it disolves away, crumbling into radioactive ASH.

**> SOMEONE: Create the FREAKY CAT.**

You are now a SHADOWY MEMBER of the GROUP designed to END THE WAR by any means POSSIBLE, several YEARS in the past.

It is questionable if this section of time is even possible, but we'll just ignore that for now.

You use some RELATED PROTOTYPING INFORMATION received from the furthest ring, data representing TWO of the FOUR towers from what is believed to be the FUTURE of this SESSION.

Using that information, your MUTATION LABS create a TEST RUN of a WAR WEAPON. Derse has been rumored to be seeking creatures like this for a while now, so why not PROVIDE them one that will maul them the moment it gets out of their hands?

The MUTANT CAT is created, and almost nearly DESTROYS THE METEOR LAB in its EXPLOSIVE BIRTH.

**> FREAKY CAT: Fastforward to now.**

The cat stays in DERSE PRISON for SEVERAL YEARS before ESCAPING TO EARTH, riding a METEOR that will leave it SEVERAL DAYS before a PAIR OF BIRTHDAYS. There, the FREAKY CAT tests its limits by KILLING A RANDOM DOG. And then another, and then YET ANOTHER. Finally, it rigs a DEATH BY CAR for one of the player's DOG. 

It then leaves, heading NORTH-EAST to the NEW YORK STATE, where it then STEALS the BODY of JASPERS THE CAT, and then leaves it somewhere UNKNOWN before going BACK OUT WEST where it DROPS A TV on a girl's FATHER.

She GROWLS, scaring the CAT away into the BACK YARD, where it then UPENDS a TON OF DIRT from the yard for no real reason other than to GET AT THE CORPSE of the DOG that it killed.

It STEALS AWAY with that one too.

As for the why? Nobody knows. We cannot BE THE CAT, it is TOO FREAKY.

**> DAVE: Examine RING.**

Dave examines the BROKEN RING. This thing is TRYING to accept the THIRD PROTOTYPING, but due to the damage PREVIOUSLY SUSTAINED, it isn't working. Probably for the best, given what it did to the BATTLEFIELD and SKAIA.

**> DAVE: Toss the RING FORGE-WARD.**

He's unearthed enough MEMORIES to know that's one of the LAST THINGS you do in a session. He'll just keep this useless piece of junk in his sylladex until then. 

No sense JUMPING TO THE END without a good reason. Best to just ROLL WITH THE FLOW of things.

**> JADE: Try to install SBURB CLIENT.**

The GAME DISK seems to be running fine. Maybe Jade PATCHED IT well enough?

We'll have to wait and find out if she got it working or not once the game actually starts.

**> DAVE: retrieve SBURB SERVER DISK**

At some point in your time traveling, Dave asks Bro to SAFELY remove the DISK from the XBONE.

He pries the TOP OFF, and gains access to the DISK.

Dave takes it and check it for damage...

The PRINTED TOP is a little scratched up, but that shouldn't damage the disks' contents any. Right? It's usually just the SHINY BOTTOM SIDE that causes trouble, isn't it?

Either way, DAVE INSTALLS THE SERVER.

**> DAVE: Prepare for Trouble**

While he's waiting for the game to install, Dave PESTERS ARGO.

TG: yo

AC: ya?

TG: put jades dreamself onto her slab, plx thx

AC: why?

TG: just... call it a hunch

TG: or me being paranoid

TG: but after seeing that fourth tower get bowled over by that meteocat....

AC: is this a time loop thing? dave? what's going on?

TG: PLEASE, JUST PUT JADE ON THE FUCKING DEATH SLAB, OKAY!?

AC: ._. way to break out the caps but okay i will

AC: shes on the slab 

AC: things can't go THAT wrong, can they? B|| you're making me worried here...

TG: thank you mrs murphy shrodinger

TG: thank you for tempting fate so wonderfully

AC: dave? what's wrong?

AC: you're freaking me out a bit here

TG: things are about to get very bad very quickly 

TG: jades hurt. And Bad.

AC: you're using punctuation and caps. oh fuck

TG: keep her on the slab 

AC: ill do what i can

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God DAMN. Past Me just was not letting up on the trauma chain this time. Good Grief. What the hell, past me? Seriously, god. fucking. DAMN. What the absolute fuck???
> 
> You can tell I was aiming for a full God Tier sweep but Holy Shit this is Speed Run tiers of On-Entry God Tiering. It's almost like SKAIA is trying to make up for lost time and get everyone reset to their previous states but- Holy Shit. No, that's just. What the Hell!?
> 
> SBURB SPEED RUN GO: Fastest to God Tier on Entry Category Go Go Go!!! 
> 
> ...Yeah, seriously I don't know what past me was thinking beyond putting out some loud call for help here. Geeze. Just. WOW. What the hell. It just Doesn't End!!! One piece at a time it just- Doesn't END!!! They don't get a break or... Holy Shit. Why.
> 
> What is with this speed run tactic. It's like I'm trying to outdo canon Homestuck in the trauma department somehow. 
> 
> ...I think a part of me blames that on the Reader Suggestions pushing things faster and faster into escalation, but there's also the part of me that says no, that's stupid, I'm the one who accepted those Reader Suggestions In The First Place And Wrote The Aftermath so---
> 
> UGH. 
> 
> IDEK. Determibent is... freaking weird. And if I weren't already accounting for its ending plot elsewhere in so many other things I'd probably just trash this whole thing as it is. Good. Grief.


	19. ACT 3: Of Gods and Witches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jade goes for the God Tier Speed Run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Fight to the Death.  
> Assisted God Tiering.  
> Untimestamped Music Sequence.  
> Meta talk in the End Notes.

Imagine, if you will, space. The starry expanse of vast possibilities. Worlds upon worlds upon worlds, all around their stars orbiting like... well. Planets around Stars. It's not just black space, but there are clouds of colorful gasses- nebula and other clusters of stars.   
  
Across the Multiverse, there are Multiverses. Imagine within this sea of stars, there are trees. Each tree representing a Universe of a specific theme. That's not to say that's how the Multiverse really is, but it's a handy metaphor regardless. Say that for every CONCEPT of a Story- say, a HOMESTUCK webcomic in this case- there is a tree. And that Tree's core concepts- it's 'Canon' if one might be so bold- is merely the trunk of the tree- the center that holds a set of rules and conditions that state "this is what this cluster of branches is based off of and around."  
  
But Trees are not just trunks. There are roots- and branches- things that splinter off and contain their own realities. Their own universes. Their own Multiverses. And these trees are not just standalone, idle in a large, grassy field where the next nearest tree is separated by a fence or a piece of pavement. No, these Trees... These Trees are all part of a forest. A forest in space, yes, I know it sounds absurd to imagine but just IMAGINE it.   
  
At the bottom of this starry expanse is a pool of water- the life energy of everything- that spreads out to eternity in all directions. Within that water lay an ocean network of roots- all mingling together at various points. The trees tower above, tower overhead- spanning miles and miles into the air as their branches sway in the wind and decorating every branch of a tree is a star- a Universe- a concept- a specific instance of reality itself and everything that can be or could be or came before it and will come after.

In the grand scheme of the Multiverse. Energy pulsed and flowed through veins of reality like water flows through the roots of a tree. It's a common trait- the water, being drunk by the trees to feed the stars amongst the trees.  
  
...It goes without saying then that there are those who are able to tap into this power of the universe. Some realities have mechanisms within them that allow for it naturally.  
  
SBURB, one such mechanism, has its own in the form of the God Tier System. But it is not unique, and it is not the only one. There are other means.  
  
Other methods.

  
_\--Flashes of Golden Light shriek through the air as a boy's body explodes outwards with golden particles of energy--_

  
**\--A Twirling, Golden Crystal Gem of Diamond Shape spins as Green and Crimson energy shoots out of it in various directions--**

**_\--A Shooting Star rockets across space and time, pulsing out exotic energies as a body releases all the energy it shouldn't contain and shares it with the one sacrificing herself to keep the explosion from being far, far more damaging--_ **

And sometimes... these methods... these different ways of Ascending to become something More than a Mere Mortal. To become a God, or Something of a similar Power Level...  
  
Sometimes they intersect at the Nexus Points- where the roots of one tree connect to another- where one tree's branches mingle with that of another tree.

And when an opportunity arises... When a powerful burst of energy can be released...  
  
Horrible as it may seem, these events still hold a significance in the grand scheme of reality as the wheel of the Multiverse turns along to the next page.

* * *

**> DAVE + JADE: CONNECT.**

TG: yo, jade

TG: connecting to you so you can get into the game next

GG: k!

[ **> [S] JADE: ASCEND** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiA8zM0r-zo)

SBURB renders its final connection screens and then immediately Shits itself with a screen of static for all of three seconds.

GG: huh! that's weird.

TG: you meant there was a large flicker of static on your screen too?

GG: yeah

TG: shit

TG: lets hope this doesnt crash and burn on us

  
**> DAVE: Deploy everything**

Dave does that but almost loses the PRE-PUNCHED CARD to the mouse FREEZING UP and nearly sticking it into a wall.

He's Not Sure if that's HIS PROBLEM or not.

**> JADE: worry about dad**

You pull your dad onto the couch as Dave REMOVES THE TV, and places a TOTEM LATHE down in its place. Infront of the FRONT DOOR, he places the CRUXTRUDER.

The ALCHEMITER is going upstairs on the balcony.

You take the moment to BREAK OPEN the Cruxtruder lid the moment its dropped.

No KERNEL SPRITE emerges. The clock says you have NINTY NINE HOURS, NINTY NINE MINUTES, and NINTY NINE SECONDS, and does not count down at all.

What the FUCK?!

TG: okay fuck

TG: thats not right

TG: you didnt do something stupid with your disk like i did with mine did you?

GG: ...maybe >_>

TG: SHIT.

**> JADE: get CRUXITE DOWEL**

You do that, and use it and the CARD in conjunction with the LATHE to make a CARVED TOTEM.

You then take it and race upstairs with a hope and a prayer.

As you emerge out onto the balcony, the CAT appears on top of the ALCHEMITER.

You growl at it as you throw the dowel to the side.

**> DAVE: Catch totem**

He snatches the totem before it gets lost overboard, and then throws it instead onto the ALCHIMETER while Jade jumps at the cat with a ROAR.

The ALCHEMITER SCANS the TOTEM.

**> FATE: be TEMPTED.**

A METEOR appears in the skies above the Egbert house.

You don't care. You're going to SKIN THAT CAT ALIVE.

You pin the cat to the ground and start trying your best to KILL THE DAMNED THING.

The Alchimeter cannot render the ENTRY ITEM while you're on the platform, so you ROLL OFF OF IT, and then the CAT ZAPS YOU straight onto the rooftop.

You're free rolling suddenly towards the ground when Dave EXTENDS part of the house to catch your fall.

You engage your STRIFE SPECIBUS and withdraw a SHOVEL.

You start swinging it with MURDEROUS INTENT.

The FREAKY CAT just keeps teleporting you across the house with each dodge of the swing.

STOP IT. STOP. STOP. STOP TELEPORTING. STOP STOP JUST. NO. STOP IT.

**> DAVE: Drop Book on Cat**

Dave grabs a SUFFICIENTLY HEAVY LOOKING BOOK from the nearest BOOKSHELF and DROP IT ontop of the CAT when it makes a TELEPORTATION again.

It gets squashed under the sheer girth of COLONEL SASACRE'S DAUNTING TEXT.

FINALLY!

**> JADE: give it what for**

You make sure to DRIVE THE POINT HOME by impaling the shovel into, and through the book hard enough to hit the WOOD FLOOR underneath.

You get another ELECTRIC SHOCK for your troubles, this one sending you flying across the room with enough force to crack the wall you hit.

As YOUR HOUSE fades to BLACK, you suddenly sit up as your DREAM SELF as you feel the effects of two near lethal doses of ELECTRICITY in one night, along with the impact of hitting a WALL.

**> ENTRY ITEM: ACTIVATE**

Unfortunately, the Entry Item is but a SKULL. It cannot do much of anything on its own...

Unfortunate, indeed, because that even if the WITCH had not just died from her strife with the FREAKY CAT, the EXTRA LARGE METEOR would finish her off mere moments later.

Which it does, because the DIGNITARY had set off that Chekhov's gun to go off without a hitch.

The HOUSE is CRUSHED, the ENTRY has FAILED.

**> DAVE: Abandon Ship**

Dave TIME TRAVELS away from your house, and make his way to ARGO'S in a SUPER HURRY.

He arrives just in time to find Jade waking up, groaning in pain as her Dreamself starts to DIE.

ARGO: dave!? what happened? why is she hurting so much!?

DAVE: fucking god cat decided to get the last laugh and electrocuted her so she cant escape the meteor

JADE: nnnmmhh..

DAVE: NO! Jade! Stay on the fucking death slab please!!

JADE: wha--?

ARGO: you mean her real self is dead!?

ARGO: or- about to be!? I GUESS???

ARGO: why didn't you DO ANYTHING!?

DAVE: i am!

DAVE: jade, please close your eyes!

JADE: whuuu...??

JADE: ok...

DAVE: this is going to hurt just a little bit and then it'll all be over okay?

JADE: mmh...

Mercifully, Jade closes her eyes.

Dave takes out a weapon of subtle importance and doesn't hesitate to make it quick and painless.

Argo looks away as the room is filled with a GLORIOUS GREEN LIGHT- nothing MUTAGENIC, RADIOACTIVE, OR CRYSTALINE in nature. 

Just... LIFE ENERGY at its finest and purest. The simple manifestation of SPACE as the WITCH ASCENDS in the most fucking stupid way to ENTER A GAME EVER.

Jade's clothes transform from the dream PJs to the black and greys of WITCH OF SPACE... yet, still, there's flares of green in there where there hadn't been before in the previous timeline.

Subtle accents that make one feel like this death in particular has significant importance to Jade Egbert's very soul in ways that won't be immediately clear to anyone any time soon.

She still has the Doggy ears though, twitching as her eyes snap open- glowing green with light and...

Dave stares on.

There's magic runes that normally don't accompany the God Tiering swirling in front of her eyes as the God Tiering process completes, and all the fancy light show fades away- the runes included.

...Something about that particular Ascension to the God Tiers was Different, and for the first time, Dave wonders if HIS was different like that too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers Below if you haven't finished XWAU02. Click off to the next chapter now if you haven't read that yet.
> 
> \---
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> 
> So, the bit about the tree up there is original to this version of this fic. The Text Venture went right into the action. 
> 
> This is a fundamental piece of worldbuilding for this Multiverse that I came up with before this text adventure- but this story- Determibent- was my method of exploring the concepts for this piece of detail more through this story. That said, I hadn't quite finalized enough of the details yet to be so bold as to put them in this early. A matter time remedied, naturally. 
> 
> It's important to note here that what you're witnessing here is not the standard SBURB God Tiering Process. It's not a matter of the Ultimate Self, either- remember, this was written before the events of the HS:Epilogues. What this is, is... something else. Something different. Something that this Multiverse Setting HAS SEEN BEFORE. 
> 
> Taiki and Hephaestus' stunt within the Code Crown that basically turned them into a Proto-Time Lord? That same wellspring of endless energy that Sally wound up absorbing into herself? The thing that, in the end, resulted in their total reincarnation into new people?
> 
> The rules of that were vague, and never established well enough. It was mostly just an excuse for me to turn Taiki into the Doctor at the time. Or something like that. I'll be real here, for all I tiptoed around it, Taiki essentially became a God Like Being because of that stunt. 
> 
> Xros Heart's motto of "engrave it on your heart" is also a fundamental aspect of this Multiverse, regarding that. Think about what happened in those moments there. The whole. EVENT. Taiki absorbing all of this power into himself inorder to undo DarkKnightmon's attack. The MASSIVE Digi-Xros afterwards that pulls two whole worlds into a singular being...
> 
> Two worlds are basically seeing the power of a God Tiered Being, and even if they don't know what it is they're seeing- a Demigod, a Denizen, a Demon- they *RECOGNIZE* the fact that what Taiki BECAME in that moment is *POWERFUL* and Deserving of RESPECT, and ADMIRATION.
> 
> ...And that's Two Planets Worth Of Energy being channeled into that person over time. 
> 
> Now take that effect, and amplify it by a Multiverse. A character in some story does something worthy of Respect and Admiration- or they've suffered a notorious fate that, worse, gives them unending amounts of sympathy and remorse. Sure, there are many multiverses out there. A lot of people have alternate selves out there across many worlds- and in cases like Homestuck, ascending to God Hood is a thing *MANY* of them accomplish already.
> 
> ...Homestuck has this concept of the Ultimate Self. And I think there's a fundamental mismanagement of that concept in how it's been presented. There *cant* be any one Ultimate Self because there are too many different versions of a character that exists. You cannot tell me that a 100% evil take on a character and a 100% good take on a character can co-exist within the exact same body at the same time without crashing hard into the ground.
> 
> There can Be Ultimate Selves, but there cannot be ONLY ONE. 
> 
> And in cases like what we see with Jade here- where across the vast multiverse we know there are Jade Harleys, and Jade Crockers, and Jade Claires, and Jade Egberts, and Jade Sheppards and-- You name a Jade that is branched off of that core instance- that core concept of "JADE"- and you BET YOUR ASS there's going to be a thousand more different takes off of that one alternate. All of it ties back together.
> 
> All of that energy. All of that potential.
> 
> And that energy, if it is in SO MUCH SUPPLY that it can't reasonably be spread out across thousands of instances of a soul? Of COURSE it is going to congregate into specific instances. 
> 
> This Jade Egbert that Ascended to the God Tiers just now? She is *An Ultimate Jade*, to borrow Homestuck's Terminology. She just doesn't Know It Yet. That was not a Normal God Tiering. 
> 
> And the most important thing for you, the reader, to comprehend in this moment?
> 
> This Jade is NOT the Only Instance of Jade to achieve that Status in the Multiverse.   
> ===  
> ...Well, that went on for a lot longer than I intended. I've actually just about hit the character limit for this end notes box. WHOOPS.


	20. INTERMISSION: Symbolic Manner.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sprite Artwork.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some standard sprite images I just stumbled on so I'm posting 'em here before I post the next chapter.


	21. ACT 3: The Alpha Selection.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we meet a whole new cast of characters.  
> (Jurassic World Cross Starts Here)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Jurassic World Spoilers.  
> Mentions of Asthma.

**> BEATRICE: Meow loudly.**

You meow LOUDLY. So LOUDLY that the person who TOOK YOU has no choice but to come into the room and PICK YOU UP.

And she does. She's got bleached white hair with a GREEN SPIRAL in it.

What's this lady's name, you wonder?

**> ENTER NAME**

You are now ROXY LALONDE, and you've just done the stupidest thing EVER in the history of stupid things.

You have just CATNAPPED your OLDER ALT-UNIVERSE SELF'S CAT via APPEARIFYER.

You are SO SCREWED.

Who knows what kind of PARADOXES you might have just caused.

SHIT. DAMNIT. FUUUUUUUU-----

Just what are you going to do with this cat now? You look at the feisty little gal in your arms. 

Well, you'll give her a name... wait, no, she's got a collar, you check it and find this cat is named BEATRICE. Well, that's... not what you'd name a cat but okay fine.

Well, besides kidnapping already named cats, what are you going to do? 

**> ROXY: Go PESTER your CHUMS.**

\- technoGal [TG] opened MEMO "CAT!!" on BOARD "Please Advise Me!" @4:18 P.M. -

TG: GUYS.

TG: hdge prob;lem,

TG: HUGFE PROBLEM

TG: HUGE EVEN.

\- temporallyTranslinear [TT] replied to MEMO -

TT: Does this have anything to do with a Cat by any chance?

TG: YES

\- greenGrapevine [GG] replied to MEMO -

GG: Roxy, since when did you have a cat?

TG: since one fucking minute ago thats wen!

\- genuineTakeonset [GT] replied to MEMO -

GT: I can't be on long, only got five minutes left on break, what's the problem?

TG: i accidentall apperifried a CAT from my alt selfs house

TT: What is the Cat's Name?

TG: beatrice!

GG: That's a beautiful name. Roxy!

GT: Agreed, but can't you send Beatrice back?

TG: the machine won't let me!

TG: it keeps giving me this error about 'unable to lock onto temporal coordz'

TG: wtf is that supposed to mean

TT: I would assume it means the point you're trying to lock on to doesn't exist any more.

TG: okay so i cant sent her back so WHAT NOW!?!?!

GT: Oh shoot I have to go, the director's throwing a right on fit about something!

GT: My vote is keep her!

\- genuineTakeonset [GT] left the MEMO -

GG: Jake's.... busy life aside, I think he has the right idea.

GG: If you can't send the cat back then keep her.

TT: Alternative:

TT: If you want, you can send her to me and I can take her off your hands.

TG: NO!

GG: NO!

TG: no offense dirky but your island home aint exactly the 'safest' place for CATS!

GG: Yeah, That. Dot Gif.

GG: Poor Dear Sweet Precious Beatrice would be eaten alive the moment she set foot in your house!

TT: Your loss, Ellie's been looking for a playmate.

TT: She seems to tolerate cats, at any rate.

TT: We haven't lost any of the island's population to her or the others.

GG: YET.

TG: yet is the key word there dirky

TT: Roxy, I understand your rejection. You've formed an emotional bond already.

TT: But Jane? I am shocked and dismayed.

TT: What would ever give you the belief that any animal I lived with would be killed in such a violent manner?

GG: Maybe, Dirk, it's the fact that you live at JURASSIC FUCKING WORLD???

TT: Fair Point.

TT: Counter Point:

TT: We have the Dinosaurs on a very strict diet. Even Ellie has her dietary needs and Cats are not on the menu.

TG: dirky, ellie is adorbs as fuk but i wouldnt let anything with that many teeth near my beatrice!

TT: See? The decision is already made. You're protective. You're keeping the goddamned alt-verse cat no matter what.

\- temporallyTranslinear [TT] left the MEMO -

GG: Remind me why we're friends with him, again?

TG: because we get supah vip passes to jurassic world and get to go behind the scenes unlike most people?

GG: Ah, yeah, that would be why, wouldn't it.

GG: Sometimes it amazes me the friends we've made.

GG: A rising movie star and the son a prominent geneticist.

GG: How did we get so lucky?

TG: hell if i know.

GG: Shall we move on to a private message then, and close this board?

TG: yah that seems like a good idea

\- technoGal [TG] closed MEMO "CAT!!" on BOARD "Please Advise Me!" @4:23 P.M. -

\- technoGal [TG] began pestering greenGrapevine [GG] @4:23 P.M. -

TG: i rly hope alt me isnt too sad about my swipin my cat from myself

GG: I'm sure she'll understand.

GG: Maybe she'll pick up the same memories you have?

TG: maybeh

TG: you wonder if she ever made somethin of herself like ive been doin this time around?

GG: Since I don't have as much insight into this whole 'reset universe' situation,

GG: (much less any real memories to speak of despite your attempts at helping me remember... which may be a good thing considering what you do remember of it all :B)

GG: I would wadger... she probably has?

GG: I can't imagine you not making a killing creating outlandish objects out of thin air!

TG: the voidy hax are boss and i cannot lie, all hatas cant deny

TG: :3 also beatrice seems to really like my scarf!

GG: Ooo! Picture please?

\- technoGal [TG] sent file [beatricebeadear.png] -

GG: Awww! She is adorable!

TG: defs my cat

TG: she knows ho w2 get my attension

TG: *attention

TG: imma makin so many typos 2fday cause of her

TG: keepos nudgin my arm and i keep hittin the wrong ksus

TG: ....whole buncha goddamed tpyos.

GG: It's okay, Roxy.

GG: We've all been there sometimes!

GG: Even Dirk, as much as he hates to admit it.

TG: well duh

TG: dirks gotta act all cool 2 impress the bossez relse they take ellie away

GG: It is amazing how one person being in the right place at the right time can make all the difference in the world.

GG: I still find it hard to believe a "Take your Son to Work Day" resulted in Dirk imprinting on a genetically modified hybrid!

TG: i just feel sad that he only got to keep the sick one

TG: poor big sis elise stuck away being poked an prodded

TG: i wanna go and voidy pop her outa there but i know dirkll get in trouble if i do that

GG: Also you as well!

GG: Dirk's latest report on the sibling was... disturbing to say the least.

GG: Elise's Hyper accelerated growth compared to Ellie's is just the tip of the proverbial ice berg about to hit this Titanic.

GG: AH! But enough about Dirk's problems.

GG: I suppose you'll just void up some catfood and a bed for Beatrix?

TG: not a bad idea janey.

TG: not bad at all.

TG: ...if i geta chance to focus without lil trixy here messin witme

GG: :B

**> ROXY: VOID up some CATFOOD and a BED for BEATRIX.**

You get up from your TECHNO LAB DESK which contains your COMPUTER, SENDIFICIATOR, and APPEARIFYER. None of it is CROCKERTECH. A few years ago you did the VOIDY THING and pulled your MEMORIES of another life from the brink of non existance.

Of course, you told your friends, and went and started re-learning those powers to MAKE A LIVING for yourself.

One of the first things you made was the LARGE COZY BED in the center of your room. You climb up on it and MEDITATE, focusing on voiding up a BUNCH OF CAT FOOD AND A CAT BED. 

Yeah, this could take a while.

Let's be someone else, shall we?

**> Be Jake: Examine Room**

You are now JAKE ENGLISH (That's your stage name. Your real name is JAKE HARLEY).

You're not in a room right now, you're out in the street formed by the multiple TRAILERS that are parked here for the CAST AND CREW of the MOVIE SET you're on.

The DIRECTOR is throwing a RIGHT ON FIT about something ruining the footage you'd filmed earlier this morning. What's it he's talking about now?

Mmmrh. Sounds like someone dropped a microphone boon into the shot and he's rather upset about missing it until now. 

This too could go on for a while. Be someone else?

**> Be Dirk: Examine Room.**

You are now DIRK STRIDER. You are in your BEDROOM / NESTING OBSERVATORY. It's really just a TEMPORARY BEDROOM, being that you weren't meant to be living here full time, but ELLIE whines and has a hard time sleeping when you're NOT HERE.

The whole room is essentially a concrete box with a single GLASS WALL that observes ELLIE'S ENCLOSURE. It's not anything fancy like the PADDOCKS most dinosaurs at JURASSIC WORLD life in, but neither is it the HORRIBLE BOX that ELISE lives in either. The enclosure seems EMPTY right now, but that's just ELLIE playing hide and seek. She likes to TURN INVISIBLE and HIDE FROM THE CAMERAS, forcing you to go in there and find her personally.

You have a few POSTERS on the walls, in between the OBSERVATION MONITORS and your PERSONAL COMPUTER. You've got BOOKSHELVES, though. Bookshelves for DAYS. You pick up one of your REWRITTEN PONY PALS BOOKS and leaf through its PASTED OVER PAGES for nostalgia's sake.

You've been teaching Ellie to READ and WRITE, for a lack of anything better to do with a dinosaur this fucking smart.

Ellie is an INDOMINUS REX, one of Jurassic World's first GENETICALLY MODIFIED HYBRIDS- well, they're all HYBRIDS, but the I-REX is one of the first ones that never had PREHISTORIC FOSSIL to be birthed from. Your DAD, DAVE STRIDER, is one of the scientists who WORKED ON THE I-REX PROJECT, and he had you in the lab with the two SIBLINGS HATCHED. The smaller of the two, ELLIE, imprinted on you, and the IN-GEN scientists let you KEEP HER while they took ELISE, who was more physically healthy.

It's probably for the best that they were separated. ELISE got the full ACCELERATED GROWTH treatment that ELLIE apparently missed receiving. It's been about FOUR MONTHS now since they were both born, and ELISE is already TWICE THE SIZE of her sister, and set to TRIPLE THAT before this month is out.

She's also gotten very AGGRESSIVE, and that's not for a lack of your brother's attempts at training. ELISE is just as smart as ELLIE, but in a very obviously more SADISTIC WAY. You've had nightmares of ELISE eating her sister in alternate timelines where you never got to keep ELLIE. It'd be a very real possibility, given their drastically different GROWTH RATES. 

Speaking of ELLIE, you should probably go down there and find her before she comes up to the door and tries to break in again.

That could take a while. Be someone else?

**> Be Jane: Examine Room**

You are now JANE EGBERT. Your room is nothing special. It's just a bedroom. You've got POSTERS and BOOKSHELVES, a bed and A COMPUTER.   
What will you do?   
  
**> JANE: Check calendar**

It's DECEMBER 15th, 2015. Dirk says that in the few days just before Christmas there's going to be a PEER REVIEW by the INVESTORS into the INDOMINUS PROJECT. You hope he gets to keep ELLIE. It would just be sad if they got separated after this long together.

If he doesn't, at least you'll be there for COMFORT.

**> Jane: Be a plain Jane.**

Jokey name based puns aside, you live a FAIRLY MUNDANE LIFE compared to your OTHER FRIENDS. You're not related to ANYONE IMPORTANT or do anything SPECIAL at all. During the summer months you MAINTAIN A GRAPE GARDEN, but since it's winter, you don't have that hobby right now. Just about the only thing that could be said to be EXTRAORDINARY about you is that you are SEVERAL GRADES above other people in your age group, and as such, you don't have any CLASSES or HOMEWORK until FEBRUARY. It helps that your grandmother was a COLLEGE LEVEL PROFESSOR, you suppose. 

The only bit of excitement right now is that you're currently PACKING for a trip to ISLA NUBLAR. You and your DAD will be arriving EARLY and staying well until past NEW YEARS, and ROXY and JAKE will be arriving sometime in that time frame as well. It's the first time you four will be able to get time to yourselves since Jake's current FILMING SCHEDULE began. He'll be doing a few last scenes on the island itself- something about filming the EPILOGUE and PROLOGUE at the same time, and then he should be DONE with FILMING for the next few weeks.

Roxy plans on handing out some GAME DISKS she pulled from the void during that trip too. Says it'd be more fun as a late Christmas present. You have your suspicions that these are the same SBURB DISKS that END THE WORLD that Roxy remembers from her PAST LIFE. If they are, you're tempted to tell Roxy just to not do it. LIFE IS GOOD for most of you here. Playing a WORLD ENDING GAME just seems like a needless addition to your lives.

You don't know what Roxy's RUSH is; and just saying it's because your SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY is coming up this April isn't much of an excuse to you. 

Too many people are rushing and fussing and being BUSY BODIES these days, you think. Why do people want to push everything as fast and as hard as possible? It's like the people who play ONLINE MMOS and HIT MAX LEVEL after a solid DAY of grinding for no other reason than to just hit max level and have no sense of progression through the rest of the game.

This is something that's really BUGGED YOU when you first started playing this ONE GAME that came out LAST YEAR around the same time as your BIRTHDAY. People kept skipping past the story and grinding to max level within the first week. Seriously, what is with people trying to rush everything? Then they complained about the game progression being super buggy and- no, that was just YOU PEOPLE who DIDN'T PLAY THE GAME RIGHT. The Game is about the JOURNEY, not the REACHING MAX LEVEL ASAP.

You decided to TAKE IT SLOW AND STEADY and NOT RUSH and you've had SO MUCH MORE FUN that way. You wish more people would just COOL THEIR JETS and take things SLOWER. Even ELISE's accelerated growth rate concerns you. Dinosaurs should NOT GROW UP THAT FAST. Take it from someone who skipped a BUNCH OF SCHOOL GRADES- skipping ahead to the very ending as fast as possible is no fun at all. In fact, it's more than likely enough to cause more problems than good.

**> JANE: Examine POSTERS.**

Most of these are PROMOTIONAL MOVIE POSTERS that your friend JAKE has starred in to one degree or another. He usually picks up a bunch of them for you all just before a movie comes out. At first it was just a cute thing when he was a background kid extra and he wasn't even on the posters, but once his popularity picked up and "JAKE ENGLISH" started to become known internationally, he started getting bigger and better roles. 

Jake agreed that it's ODD having posters with your friend's FACE staring at you from all angles, though, so the ones where he's front and center end up out in the hallways more often than not. Besides, you like the ones where he was just starting out the BEST, because they're a bit more sentimental. 

Besides that, you have a LALONDE ALCHEMY poster- which is ROXY'S Void-Making-Weird-Shit company's logo done up in a SPRAY PAINT GRAFFITI STYLE for the sake of PUBLICITY CAMPAIGN- and a few JURASSIC WORLD posters, which DIRK sends whenever JW MARKETING comes up with something new, but the campaign isn't set to launch for another few weeks or ever, depending on if events go bad behind the scenes. 

It lets you feel AHEAD OF THE TIMES. 

A few weeks ago, Dirk sent you a PHOTOSHOPED MOCK UP he made himself, this one is just a SUPER HIGH QUALITY PICTURE of A VERY YOUNG ELLIE being ADORABLE while poking her head out of one of Dirk's IRONIC SWEATER HOODIE POCKETS. None of you are sure why Dirk wears heavy sweater hoodies on a TROPICAL ISLAND, but ELLIE loved hiding in the front pocket of this particular one while she was small enough to fit.

Dirk added the JURASSIC WORLD logo, and modified it to have an INDOMINUS OUTLINE instead of a T-REX. He put in the tagline, "JURASSIC WORLD: Take the CUTENESS home with you."

You probably won't ever take this one down since it's not an OFFICIALLY DONE POSTER, but instead something Dirk made especially for you and your friends.

Finally, there's a poster for the BOOK SERIES that the Movie Jake's CURRENTLY WORKING ON is based off of. MYSTRYAL DETECTIVES. 

All you know is that Jake is playing one of the LEAD ROLES, and that it's a WHOLLY ORIGINAL STORY based on the universe, and not one of the book plots specifically, since there's already an ANIME SERIES FOR THAT. 

You've asked Roxy if she remembers this series form her Past Life or not, but she doesn't recall Mystryal existing, meaning that it's likely an AFTER ECHO of the universe being "reset" by whatever happened.

It's nothing to stress over, though. Life moves on, after all. And since there is no ALIEN BATTER WITCH in this world, things likely would have gone different anyways. New STORIES AND SERIES are just a VISUAL ARTIFACT of that. 

**> JANE: Examine BED.**

You have some PLAIN AND SERVICEABLE bed sheets with a GHOST AND DEMON print on them.

You don't feel particularly tired right now.

**> JANE: Examine BOOK SHELF.**

You've got a few MYSTRYAL books here, added most recently to your LARGE AND VARIED collection. You've got DETECTIVE NOVELS and HIGH FANTASY NOVELS. You pick up a MYSTRYAL BOOK. High Fantasy Genre books like this are your thing, but you don't like to mix it with the Detective Genre like these have done. 

You only really bought these just because Jake is staring in a movie based off of them and you wanted to know more about the UNIVERSE within. Any other time and you'd have skipped on them.

**> Jane: Suddenly have something exciting happen.**

Your COMPUTER BEEPS at you with a PRESET ALARM. What is it this time?

**> JANE: Examine COMPUTER.**

You see a notification DOUBLE AND TRIPLE reminding you to FINISH PACKING!! Your FLIGHT leaves later TONIGHT.

Right then, time to get on that and stop messing around here!

**> JANE: Enjoy life.**

You'll do that, once you FINISH PACKING! 

Be someone else? 

**> DIRK: Go looking for ELLIE.**

You're DIRK STRIDER once again. 

You're pretty sure you're close to finding that ILLUSIVE DINOSAUR of yours. You've swept through most of the ENCLOSURE already.

Only a few more places left to check.

**> Dirk: Be distraught about Ellie**

You're worried for the girl, that you cannot deny. You're afraid about what will happen if she gets taken away from you. At the very least you've helped the RESEARCHERS prevent Elise from escaping by discovering Ellie's ability to hide herself from THERMALS. You swear, every new trick you learn of, the scientists seem completely caught off guard. You've asked occasionally what's in an I-REX, but you get the standard "CLASSIFIED" spiel. 

Needless to say, you've observed primary traits belonging to CUTTLEFISH, TYRANNOSAURUS, and VELOCIRAPTOR. You only recognized the RAPTOR DNA after observing GRADY'S SQUAD of raptors. For all the issues you and your Dad have with the man, you're glad to see that Grady's just as off put by HOSKINS, though. 

That Hoskins guy has been riding hard to get Ellie taken away from you, but he hasn't gained much traction with MR. MASRANI given that Ellie is definitely NOT 100% HEALTHY, especially when compared to ELISE's physical health status. 

It was pretty obvious the moment she hatched that something was wrong. Heavy breathing and long, wheezing sounds compared to healthy squeaking and yipping. You'd remembered a kid you'd seen in the park just that same week who had similar problems with the tropical air- he was asthmatic, and something about Ellie's wheezing reminded you of him. So, against the scientists warnings, you picked her up and hurried off to find someone with an ASTHMA INHALER. 

It worked, and soon Ellie was breathing fine, much to the horror of the scientists and also the amazement of your father. 

Yeah, you've got a genetically modified dinosaur that has asthma. That never tracked with you either. But that's really the reason you got to keep her, you suspect. Nobody else would even dare get close enough to her when she started having fits- and those fits came more often when you weren't there. Even so, Hoskins wants you replaced with a 'real trainer.' Whatever, you roll your eyes beneath your shades and- they fog up suddenly, as if breathed upon.

Ahha. Found her.

**> Dirk: Turn around**

You turn around and nearly get bowled over by a RAPTOR SIZED white and grey scaled DINOSAUR. Her head nuzzles itself against your chest and you wrap your arms around her head/neck area, as close to a hug as you can give her anymore given her size.

Ellie purrs as you give a tiny scratch behind one ear. 

She's about the size of a fully grown, FIVE OR SIX YEAR OLD VELOCIRAPTOR at this point, despite being only MONTHS OLD. Elise is is TWICE AS LARGE, and set to be bigger than a T-REX once fully grown. Needless to say, you have suspicions that Ellie won't get that big. You'll be willing to bet that she got more RAPTOR DNA than T-REX DNA, and the opposite is probably true for ELISE. 

You like her being HUGGABLE in size, anyways. She makes for a better companion that way. 

Hoskins has made inquiries as to whether you'd ride her like a horse. Just another reason you hate the guy. You know that her bones are way too FRAGILE for that, just another thing wrong with Ellie's DNA mix that you discovered after she broke her leg in her second month while trying to climb up a tree. Elise has yet to get a single broken bone that you're aware of.

Ellie whines slightly and you let go of the hug to lead her back towards your ROOM. She's not supposed to go up in there but screw the rules, she's not going to go anywhere you're not outside of this room. You hope that if she proves well behaved enough, you might be able to get a PETTING ZOO thing set up, but that's up to MISS DEARING to sort out with IN-GEN. You're sure you'll be able to keep her if that plan gets approved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So YEAH. I just freaking suddenly turned this into a Jurassic World crossover. As if the I-Rex Prototyped Monster in the Troll's session wasn't a dead give away.


	22. ACT 3: It makes sense in Hindsight.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's actual Crossover time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Military people being Militarily Single Minded.  
> Idiot Directors engaging in unnecessary Fisticuffs.

**> Adult Dave: Be Awesome**

You are now the ADULT DAVE STRIDER, one of IN-GEN's top GENETICISTS, the HEAD OF YOUR DEVISION, in fact. And right now, you're about to do something awesome in response to someone being idiotic.

Said idiot is ranting at one of your associates, and you... well. You've had enough.

HOSKINS: I don't care that the thing has- what was it? Pneumonia??

HOSKINS: I want that I-Rex brought under a real trainer!

HOSKINS: And not that Gravey fellow either, he's too soft on those raptors.

STRIDER: yo, hogkins.

STRIDER: is that my ellie i hear you talking about?

HOSKINS: "Hogkins"?! I am your BOSS show me a little respect here!

STRIDER: ill show you respect when you damn well deserve it

STRIDER: day in and day out i hear you ranting and raving and harassing my team

STRIDER: and just now i heard you disrespecting one of the best animal handlers the park has

STRIDER: so no i aint going to respect you because you dont deserve my respect, hogkins.

HOSKINS: I can have you FIRED, Strider. Insubordination is-

STRIDER: Military.

STRIDER: which i aint.

STRIDER: not even in-gen

STRIDER: free range strider,

STRIDER: i am one-hundred percent bonafied jurassic world

STRIDER: just because most of these people are stuck under your thumbs doesnt mean i am

STRIDER: you cant do squat to me

STRIDER: so listen up, hogkins.

STRIDER: you better either shut up, or get the fuck out of my lab.

HOSKINS: T...This isn't over, Strider.

HOSKINS: I want my I-Rex.

STRIDER: you already have elise you fucker

STRIDER: leave ellie out of this.

STRIDER: now do i have to repeat myself?

HOSKINS: .... No.

He storms out, and you open your phone to text a guy.

-turntechGenetics [TG] opened conversation with originalGrade [OG] -

TG: heads up hogkins was just in here throwing shade like nobodys business

OG: ugh. hoskins.

TG: ugh indeed

TG: anyways i told him to step off so fair warning hes probably coming to harass you now.

OG: you know he's going to do something incredibly stupid with the review coming up, right?

TG: i wouldnt put it past the guy

TG: just make sure those girls of yours aren't behaving, owen

TG: if hogkins sees something he likes hes gonna pounce

OG: they're like a bunch of teenagers, dave.

OG: i think them not behaving is the easiest thing on our to-do list

TG: fair enough

**> ELLIE: Be cute.**

Ellie plays coy and tries to drag you back into her enclosure for some PLAY TIME, but you've got a good reason for taking her up to the room right now, and that's to double check that the BIO IMPLANT TRACKER is giving off a SECOND SIGNAL that only you can trace. If you're in danger of losing her, you're not going to give her up without a fight.

**> Dirk: Play with Ellie for a little while.**

She looks up at you with those big, doe-like green eyes and damn it you've never been able to say no to that face. 

You'll play for just a little bit and then you'll double check the implant LATER.

**> HOSKINS: Be dumb.**

The man just doesn't know when to quit.

He gets on the radio and starts talking with an UNKNOWN CONSPIRATOR about engineering a SITUATION to force JURASSIC WORLD'S HAND.

**> DIRK: Enjoy life.**

You spend about FIFTEEN MINUTES just playing TAG before Ellie gets winded and needs to take a break. Poor girl's asthma still kicks up every so often. This time she doesn't fight when you take her back to your room. She knows you keep the DINO SIZED INHALERS in there, and she knows they make her feel better when she gets like this.

Still, as frustrating as this is for both of you, you wouldn't trade moments like these for anything. Once she's breathing better, she just lies down on the floor and rests her head on your lap. You get to pet her and give her some scratches in some of her favorite parts. 

She's like a big dog, really. A really big, scaley dog.

Life is good, for now. 

**> HOGKINS: Plot.**

The plot is long and complicated and is set to go off during the INVESTOR MEET WEEKEND just before CHRISTMAS. It will take about just as long to get everything needed together.

But rest assured, it is a stupid plan that you can probably guess what is going to happen. When shits hit the fan everyone who sees it will say, yup, that sure wa a Hoskin plan.

It will back fire in a spectacular way, but you'll just have to be patient.

**> Dirk: Check implant.**

You get out a HAND HELD SCANNER from your SHADE GROOVE MODUS, and check the IMPLANT. Yeah, it's giving off the right two signals. You're good.

**> JAKE: How is that conversation going?**

The DIRECTOR isn't listening to any of the staff. He isn't listening to the COMPUTER GRAPHICS ARTISTS saying that they were going to digitally extend the SKY anyways. He isn't listening to the EXECUTIVE PRODUCER who says it's okay. He just isn't listening at all.

This is the TENTH TIME THIS MONTH ALONE that he's thrown a fit like this, and probably like, the thirtieth in grand total over the entire shoot so far? At this point, you're pretty sure that YOU could do a better job at directing than this director has. Even the PROPERTY HOLDER and the PRODUCTION COMPANY are getting near the point that they're ready to fire this guy.

You're so close to the end of the movie, though, that the production could probably get away with cutting the guy loose at this point.

**> JAKE: Try to get the DIRECTOR fired.**

You briefly consider doing just that when he does your hypothetical job for you by punching out the EXECUTIE PRODUCER.

Annnd now the Producer is returning the favor with a below the belt kick and- ooh, yeah, the Director's BITTING now. Did he even feel that kick to the gut? Apparently not. Wow. Yeah. 

There's no way this guy isn't getting fired.

**> JAKE: Intervene?**

You're not going anywhere near that. You may be PLAYING A WEREWOLF in this movie, but you're most certainly NOT one. No way you'd be able to help in this situation annnnnd now Security is involved. 

Wow. Who knew the Director was strong enough to throw two trained men over his shoulders in one swoop?

The FEMALE SECURITY GUARD draws her TASER aaannnnd now it's all over.

The DIRECTOR is twitching on the ground as he's dragged away.

The PRODUCER massages a LUCKY HIT to the jaw and announces that BREAK is going to be extended for ANOTHER HOUR while he fills in the COMPANY about what just happened.

You check your watch and see that you ended up wasting THIRTY MINUTES of FILM TIME watching the Director throw a fit.

**> JAKE: Enjoy the break.**

You go find one of your fellow TEENAGED CO-STARS to discuss this turn of events

You find YUUI HIRASA in HAIR AND MAKEUP. She's standing IMPATIENTLY and glaring at the clock, it's a somewhat TERRIFYING SIGHT when she's done up in FULL MAKEUP. She plays a WEREWOLF as well, your character's COUSIN. She hasn't had any non-transformed scenes yet today so she has to get the FULL WOLF MAKEUP TOUCHED UP in between scenes. 

Just applying the NON TRANSFORMED MAKEUP is a RATHER INTENSIVE PROCESS that you've both sat through MANY TIMES over the course of this movie. You can't imagine she's been very comfortable waiting around for someone to call her to set. 

JAKE: Yuui! There you are!

YUUI: Grr.. hello jake.

YUUI: I take it since you're here that means our 'dramatic' director threw another fit?

JAKE: He actually punched the Exec. Producer.

JAKE: And tried biting him too.

YUUI: And here i thought we were the werewolves on this movie.

YUUI: We're on break then?

JAKE: At least another hour.

YUUI: Great! just great.

YUUI: I'm going to go see if i can get some of this stupid fur off then.

YUUI: Stupid global warming making it 90* in the middle of winter...

As you watch her stalk off to harass one of the ART DIRECTORS, you observe, not for the first time, that she really does have the WEREWOLF MANNERISIMS down pat. You can tell why she was hired for this movie, even if you and her don't look anything particularly alike in the face area. But then again, that's probably why they rewrote the script to have your characters being COUSINS instead of SIBLINGS like in the first draft. Movie Scripts are notorious for having CHANGES made to them during the course of filming. Especially when it's an original story to begin with and not based off of an adapted script.

**> JAKE: Examine Make Up Photos**

You look over both the REFERENCE PHOTOS on the walls and your own MAKE-UP COVERED REFLECTION in the WALL MIRROR. Most of the makeup that was scheduled for today was all LYCANTHROPE MAKE UP, but there's a few photos of the LAMIA and DRAGON MAKE UP that's there as well. Lamia actors are so LUCKY. They only have to wear the TOP HALF of their body makeup whenever they're on set. The bottom half is all replaced in POST EDITING with CG SNAKE TAILS. 

Everything else is PRACTICAL. Dragons have to wear animatronic wings and tails, Lycans/Werewolves have to wear animatronic EARS. The TAILS for the Lycans, at least, are some form of COSPLAY MAGIC that lets them swish around depending on how you SWAY YOUR HIPS. Even the most subtle of motions sends the things wagging in a realistic manner for a good minute or two.

You and Yuui both spent WEEKS during pre-production taking the body acting courses to get your characters' IDLE STANCES correct. 

You spy a REFERENCE PHOTO for a SPRIGGAIN character- looks like just some generic references for the make up in general. If you remember correctly the scene you were supposed to be on set filming right now was part of the ending of a STEALTH CHASE SCENE through a SPRIGGAIN VILLAGE.

Stunt Actors already did all the EXTREME parts of filming, but you and your "COUSIN" were supposed to be doing the WRAP UP SCENE where your characters finally catch the PURP YOU WERE CHASING and do some INTERROGATION.

On Location filming SUCKS sometimes. If the delay takes TOO LONG the lighting might not match up with the rest of the scene and you'll have to move it to tomorrow. Maybe if you're lucky the PRODUCER will have you move the scene INDOORS and that way LIGHTING CONTINUITY won't be so much of a problem.

**> JAKE: Examine room.**

It's more of a TRAILER, really... in fact, that IS WHAT IT IS. A TRAILER. You're ON LOCATION, after all. There are CHAIRS, MAKE UP ARTISTS, and a WALL LONG MIRROR going from one end to the other. There's not really much here that's too eye catching. Nothing you haven't seen a million times before.

**> PRODUCER: Talk to COMPANY.**

The PRODUCER lets the COMPANY know what happened. They agree that letting the Director Go is the BEST POSSIBLE CHOICE and can't backfire in any real way.

The DIRECTOR is FIRED, and the EXECUTIVE PRODUCER officially takes on all the jobs he was already doing unofficially.

At least now he's being paid for it. 

**> EX-DIRECTOR: React.**

He doesn't take the news WELL, but then again, he wouldn't have taken it well even if he wasn't being ESCORTED OFF THE SET.

He's given to a member of the LOCAL POLICE DEPARTMENT to take into holding while filming concludes, and then moves on.

Once he's out, though, the ex-director swears, he'll come get his revenge.

Sure you will, a cop humors him before shoving him in a car.

The Producer calls ahead to ISLA NUBLAR to let them know not to let him on the island during the filming, just incase he decides to cause trouble.

**> JAKE: Enjoy life.**

For the next half hour or so, you, Yuui, and most of the ART DEPARTMENT all converse about how stupid the EX-DIRECTOR has been about handling this movie.

The guy just couldn't handle the big leagues, you suppose.

Then, you and Yuui are CALLED TO SET.

Time to get back to filming. 

Stay with Jake or be someone else? 

**> ROXY: How goes the VOIDING UP?**

You got a BUNCHA GENERIC OBJECTS (Per usual for your first time summoning a new object until you get the hang of it) but you've finally whipped up that CAT BED AND BREAKFAST. (Hehehe)

BEATRICE APPROVES of it.

You just shove the GENERIC OBJECTS into the USUAL CORNER for whenever you'll find a need for the danged things.

(If this were a visual page, you'd see a whole section of the room just full of PERFECTLY GENERIC OBJECTS.)

**> ROXY: Build a fort.**

You have SO MANY FORTS like you would not BELIEVE. You built your current HOUSE out of the BASE FORMS of those MANY FORTS, and then just DRY-WALLED over them to make the inside more PLEASING TO THE EYE. The OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE is as GREEN as the GENERIC OBJECTS its made out of.

You're covered on the FORT FRONT.

**> ROXY: Do you have any customers?**

You check your computer.

Of course, there are ALWAYS a bunch of LAST MINUTE CHRISTMAS SHOPPERS, but you've pretty much got this system DOWN PAT now. Once you've figured out how to PULL an object from the void, you can make a dedicated APPEARIFYER for it. Then, you make like FIFTY BILLION (Super Exaggerated Number!!!) of said Object, and list it online, and when people ORDER one of those objects, then the AUTOMATED SYSTEM selects the SHIPPING TAG for said object and AUTO-MAGICALLY SENDIFICATES it to the nearest POST OFFICE to the destination location, and they handle it from there.

In the UNITED STATES, The UPS STORE and FED-EX- and basically any COMMERCIAL SHIPPING BUSINESS- HATE YOUR GUTS. But it's their fault anyways. They thought you were a JOKE when you offered your TECHNOLOGY to them. The only ones with common sense were the UNITED STATES POSTAL SERVICE. Figures the only group that would be interested would be the one that delivers REGULAR MAIL instead of EXTREMELY LARGE PACKAGES. Regular mail is now closer to EMAIL in how fast it's sent.

Everyone in the USPS loves your technology. Cross country SHIPPING is so much faster when you can send a package RIGHT to the truck that's going to deliver it personally with a smile and a wave.

Sure, you and they could just send the items DIRECTLY, but you made it VERY CLEAR that the larger the object the more likely it was that it could CRUSH SOMEONE if they were standing in the TARGET DESTINATION COORDINATES. For everyone's SAFETY, everyone's local POST OFFICE has a dedicated, roped off APPEARIFICATION ZONE where packages arrive. Nobody is to be inside that zone except for the people who REMOVE SAID PACKAGES.

You've tried branching out to OTHER COUNTRIES, to varying degrees of success. Being your Business's HOME COUNTRY, JAPAN has become a proverbial POWER HOUSE of exporting EXOTIC GOODS with your tech, while various COMMUNISTIC COUNTRIES have stubbornly called it WITCHCRAFT and refuse to have anything to do with you. (You've been BLACK LISTED from ever entering said countries.) Others, like the UK and the US, have embraced your tech's AFTER EFFECTS, but not much of the actual technology itself. Parts of EUROPE have welcomed it with open arms while others have been more cautious.

You're pretty sure you're the cause of MORE THAN ONE shady production company going out of business.

Why live in Japan, though? Because you thought it'd be cool to premier your SENDIFICATOR TECH at the WORLD TECH FAIR, which had been held in Japan that year. The EMPEROR HIMSELF was so impressed that he gave you a HONORARY CITIZENSHIP as an incentive to base your company here. Gosh, that was such an embarrassing and yet totally awesome moment. 

And wow you totally went on and on there for several minutes there, didn't you?

It's hard not to get caught up in the SUCCESS of it all, sometimes. You really try to remain HUMBLE. Probably another reason you ended up sticking with Japan. Lots of really humble creators over here. It's all about the END RESULT being the BEST possible, rather than making a profit; which, ironically, is what makes you the PROFIT. 

Anyways, YES. You have customers. You don't really worry about it by this point, though. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey its another fair enough. what's that, the third one this fic so far? This must be about the time I really started using it haha. 
> 
> But yeah. Lotsa random focus here. Honestly, it's a good decompression after the hecticness of... basically everything that's come before it.


	23. ACT 3: Candy Coated Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brace yourself- it's a LOT OF COLOR CODED WORDS! :O

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Pet Handling During Trip Concerns  
> Investor Meeting.  
> Freestyle rapping.  
> Music Sequence.  
> Corporate Espionage.

  
**> ROXY: Examine FORT-HOUSE.**

Not much TO examine, it's a house, it's a fort. Most of the place is just STORAGE full of the stuff you're selling. Besides the kitchen. this is the only room in the place that's really any HABITABLE.

Ah! You just remembered WHY you panicked in the first place! Something that everyone just forgot.

You quickly pester DIRK.

TG: DIIIIRRRKKK

TT: Yes?

TG: keeping tha kitteh aside

TG: WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH HER

TG: IN THE MORE IMMEDIATE

TG: (and pressing)

TG: CONCERN

TT: Of?

TG: US COMING TO JW YOU DUMMY!

TG: i paniked more over the fact that i had a NEW FOUND CAT

TG: and LESS over the problem that I CANT TAKE HER TO THE ISLAND!!

TG: and YOOOOUUUU

TT: Me?

TG: YOU AND YOUR THREATENING TO FEED HER TO ELLIE!!!

TT: Baseless Accusation!

TT: I made no such remark.

TG: YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

TT: UU.

TT: uu.

TT: UU.

TT: uu.

TT: UU.

TT: uu.

TT: UU.

TT: uu.

TT: UU.

TT: uu.

TT: UU.

TT: uu.

TT: UU.

TT: uu.

TT: UU.

TG: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU---Wait, are you seriously typing a buncha alternating U's to fill the time it takes me to type this out?

TT: Why, Yes! Yes, it seems that I am indeed doing that.

TG: STRIDERRRRRR!!!!!!!!

TT: That is my name, don't wear it out.

TG: DIIIIRRRRRKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TT: Hai hai Dirk Strider Desu.

TG: don't u Konosuba meme at meeeeeee!! :V

TT: What is the problem here exactly?

TT: Either hire a sitter or get a fucking cat carrier.

TT: Because like I said, your Beatrice is in no harm from Ellie.

TT: Elise? Sure. But even I'm not dumb enough to go within five miles of that sorry excuse of a paddock.

TG: i guess im still a little freaked out ovr my acdntl cat theivery.

TG: i rly ddnt think id get a fukin cat of all things

TG: i thought i manton limited that shit

TT: Roxy, need I remind you that, as much as you've enjoyed this universe's new fictional media, you are not a Tinker, and this is not Worm?

TG: noooooo....?

TT: Do I need to copy and paste that sentence again?

TG: no >:[

TG: also im rly mad at u alternatin thos uUs like that allfasudden!

TT: Callie has been conspicuously absent, hasn't she?

TT: I hope she and Ellie get along when we finally get them to meet.

TG: from one sharp-toothed grin to another im totes sure callie'll love ellie

TG: i mean, we did sorta name her after her after all

TT: True.

TT: Sometimes I wonder what she and the others are up to?

TT: Did they get nice mundane lives like we did? Perfection to a literal T?

TG: dunno

TG: i hope so tho

TG: callie deserves it after dealin with her brobro all the time

TT: Is it wrong of me to want to throw Elise at him and just... see what happens?

TG: hells no

TG: revenge fanmtasies like dtath tare the bestish in the world dirkY!

TT: That's a lot of extraneous T's and Ds.

TG: shutup it was only two >_>

TG: also i really screwed up "that" didn't i?

TT: You tell me, Roxy. You tell me if you really screwed dtath up at all.

TG: JERK :U

TT: That is my unofficial title, yes.

TT: Insufferable Prick: Official Jerk Envoy to all people named Vic Hoskins.

TG: reemind me not to punch him in the dick when i see him

TG: cause it's a total 100 perschentile chance that i will run into him at some point

TG: (Percentile was intentionally typod)

TT: Duly noted, and I make no promises one way or the other towards the Dick Punching.

TG: gee, thanks dirky

TT: You are welcome.

TG: ughhh guess i better get back to packin then

TG: not like that i have much stuff 2 pak or anythin

TT: I'll be seeing you soon then?

TG: should be day of or day after janey

TG: there's a storm abrewin out at sea that makes plaine travel hard to plan r/n

TT: Duly Noted.

TT: Are we still aiming for doing Sburb after new years?

TG: yah

TG: unless, idk, god furbit a freak meteor strike breaks open an enclosure and sets elise free on the island forcing us to evacuate everyone there into the game lest she eat them all

TT: That would be a rather freaky set of circumstances, wouldn't it?

TG: eyuppers

TT: Let's pray that doesn't happen.

TG: totes worst posible case scenario EVER

**> Alpha Kids: Fast-Forward to ISLA NUBLAR**

  
They do so with appropriate [THEME MUSIC.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkVfNf8ADec)

Jane and her father arrive first, and Dirk and HIS DAD meets them at the docks before giving them a tour of the island. 

Roxy arrives the next day, wearing her green scarf and carrying a LARGE PINK CAT CARRIER. 

The FILM CREW Jake is with arrives four days later, but comes in through the SHIPPING DOCKS so as to not congest the VISITOR ARRIVAL DOCKS.

That day is now today, December 20th, 2015. And it also is the day of the INVESTORS EXAMINATION of the I-REX PROJECT. As a side note, CLAIRE DEARING's NEPHEWS arrive on this day as well.

**> EX-DIRECTOR: Decide to cause trouble**

You sneak onto the island by using a FAKE ID and wearing a FAKE BEARD. You're going to get your revenge if it's the last thing you do.

**> HOGKINS: Begin PLOT Execution**

It has already begun, DR WU has the initiative.

**> HOGKINS: Consider WHY you want to use UNRELIABLE DINOSAURS for MILITARY PURPOSES.**

If even that STRIDER KID can get one of your GENETICALLY MODIFIED HYBRID WEAPONS OF WAR under control and turn it into A CUDDLY PET, then how hard could it be to control the things? 

**> HOGKINS: Have the MENTALITY and BRAIN POWER of an EIGHT YEAR OLD.**

What? He'll have you know that he's FORTY-THREE YEARS OLD!

**> DIRK: PROTOTYPING ELISE seems like a good idea, when the time comes.**

Perhaps, but if current trends hold true, it probably wouldn't be that great. In the last TWO days she's grown INCREASINGLY BRASH and AGGRESSIVE- going so far as to RAM HER HEAD into the OBSERVATION WINDOW GLASS.

It's probably related to the GROWTH SPURT that sent her sky rocketing all the way up to FULLY GROWN way too fucking fast. Nobody's sure what triggered it, but she suddenly just started getting bigger than the expected projections planned. She's started EATING MORE too. 

Elise is in no condition to show to the INVESTORS right now, and so, MISS DEARING is taking them to YOU AND ELLIE.

Owen Grady is here at your FATHER'S REQUEST, to highlight Ellie's RAPTOR TENDENCIES. It's a good thing you all caught that- otherwise everyone involved would underestimate the I-REX's INTELLIGENCE STATS.

**> DEARING: BEGIN MEETING**

MISS DEARING enters the OBSERVATION ROOM with DR. WU and the THREE INVESTORS.

DEARING: And here we have our Indominus Trainers, the Strider family.

INVSTR1: Why is there a boy here?

DEARING: Dirk Strider is the boy who saved this Indominus' Life, she has Asthma.

INVSTR2: Our Multi-Billion Doller project has Asthma?

DR. WU: It's an unfortunate side effect of an imporper D.N.A. Mix within the egg during incubation.

DR. WU: Our other Indominus has no illneses and is perfectly healthy.

STRIDER: except for the raging insanity

INVSTR3: What?

STRIDER: ellie may be physically sick, but she's sound in the head

STRIDER: the 'other indominus' as wu so aptly put it is named elise,

STRIDER: and shes not particularly accepting of visitors right now

DEARING: *Ahhem* Which is why we're introducing you to Ellie first, to show you what a trained Indominus can do.

GRADEY: speaking of training, i'd like to clarify that ellie, while extremely well behaived, isn't trained any more than a human kid is 'trained.'

GRADEY: she's got too much raptor in her to be 'trained.'

DIRK: We prefer the term 'raised and taught to know better.'

DR. WU: Excuse me, but what are you doing here, Mister Grady?

STRIDER: owen's here at my request

STRIDER: hes had more experience with raptors than anyone else on this island.

STRIDER: hes been able to help us out whenever ellie's shown signs of a newly surfaced raptor behavior

STRIDER: got a problem with that?

DR. WU: That's-

DEARING: No problem! No problem at all! Shall we get on with the demonstration??

INVSTR2: Yes, let's get on with it.

STRIDER: dirk, thats your cue

DIRK: Right then, prepare to be blown away by the cuteness.

**> Dirk: begin demonstration**

You head into the Ellie's enclosure, hearing the investors talking all the while.

INVSTR1: He's heading into the enclosure?

INVSTR2: Is that safe?

DEARING: Mister Strider has been this Indominus' care taker since birth.

DEARING: He's the only one she lets give her the asthma medication.

STRIDER: trust me when i say dirk is the one person who i trust the most in that enclosure.

STRIDER: if ellie ever went rogue, itd be to save him.

GRADEY: just like a raptor, i'd like to point out.

GRADEY: raptors are extremely social animals.

GRADEY: the original park had problems with raptors only because it failed to socialize them properly.

INVSTR3: I see. So they're loyal to their caretakers?

DEARING: They imprint on birth.

DEARING: Mister Strider was the one who...

You tune them out and give a low whistle. Then pull out a remote control.

With a click of a button- a [SOFT BEAT](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3n1ToY-UvA) begins playing through the enclosure.

DIRK: Hey, Ellie, you up for this test?

DIRK: C'mmere and let's play some fetch.

DIRK: Outta thin air here comes a soft ball,

DIRK: C'mon and get ready, first up's a baseball!

Your SHADE GROVE MODUS ejects a BASEBALL at moderate speeds.

Ellie snatches it in her mouth- remaining cloaked. To the Investors, it appears as if the ball has suddenly been caught between a set of invisible spikes.

You're vaguely aware of the Investors musing on her apparent invisibility.

You barely restrain a smile. You've got this in the bag.

DIRK: Okay, Ellie, let's show them something really incredible,

DIRK: Show's already begun, this is no time to be invisible.

Ellie shifts, and becomes visible, white and grey scales materialize as Ellie spits out the baseball.

You hear your DAD give some smart-ass comment about giving the parents nightmares.

DIRK: Now Now, Ellie my dear, this ain't time to be wavin' surrender,

DIRK: We're all family here, under one banner and one name, Stider.

DIRK: So let's give them a show, and wave our proudly colored banner,

DIRK: Time to shine, sunlight gleamin through a unicorn's river canter.

And here's the thing you've been hoping would clinche the deal, Ellie shifts her scales through the entire RAINBOW OF COLORS. Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet. Then, she solidifies them into STRIPES, and starts shifting them all independently.

This time, you listen to the conversation.

DR. WU: I had no idea she had such fine control of her scales.

INVSTR1: Aren't you the one who designed them?

INVSTR2: I think the Pride Flag trick will bring in lots of customers.

INVSTR2: Are there plans to make this an attraction show?

INVSTR3: Agreed. The rapping alone is a show in and of itself.

STRIDER: he gets that from me

STRIDER: i was a rap dabbler growing up

DEARING: Mister Strider has put in a request for an event of some kind, and that's pending on your final impressions of this demonstration.

You've got them on the hook, now to reel them in...

DIRK: Dear sweet precious Ellie, Oh so Pretty like the freshly laid snow,

DIRK: Time to wrap this up shiny and chrome in a fresh brand spankin new bow.

Ellie returns to white and grey, and her green eyes gleam with anticipation.

DIRK: Patterns and shapes, let's not delay,

DIRK: Match it up as I spit it out rapid fire mele!

She tenses up, jaw hanging open with teeth gleaming as she prepares for your next onslaught.

DIRK: Let's try something chewy and springy,

DIRK: Try not to swallow, plush-pig ain't so tasty!

Out from your Sylladex ejects a POKEMON PLUSH SPOINK, Ellie snags it by the tail and then throws it back to you with a YIP! Her scales turn the same shade of purple as the SPOINK PLUSH.

You re-captchalogue it and smirk.

DIRK: Sweet Catches All Around,

DIRK: Now let's play a really loud sound!

Out from your sylladex ejects one of those SQUEAKY DUCK DOG TOYS. Ellie snatches it in mid air, crushing the thing in her jaws. Her scales turn to the same colors as the toy even as she and you both pretend to look confused for a moment, before you motion for her to spit it out.

She does so, and the DUCK CRIES OUT. You're pretty sure you hear Dr. Wu SWEAR A LITTLE at that.

DIRK: Well what do ya know, it was a reverse kinda duck bomb,

DIRK: Squeakers and Loud- let's end this show with a confetti bomb!

Out of your sylladex ejects a BALLOON filled with AIR and CONFETTI.

Ellie swipes at it with one of her arms, and her claws POP the Balloon- scattering a small burst of CONFETTI into the air. (Small because you're going to have to clean this up right after this is all over.) Her scales turn the same BLUE as the balloon was and gain SPARKLES of glittery color everywhere.

You then turn to look up at the observation window, and give a bow. Ellie does the same, scales returning to normal while bowing her head to the ground and giving off a cute little rumbling preen that wouldn't be out of place on one of Owen's RAPTORS.

DIRK: So that's it, that's our show.

DIRK: I hope you enjoyed our rhyming flow.

You watch as the Investors CLAP. MISS DEARING seems impressed, DAD looks proud, OWEN GRADY isn't watching you, but is watching everyone else, but especially DR. WU, who looks rather pale in the face as if his plans for world domination had just been foiled.

Hey, one last rhyme for the road?

DIRK: So yeah, that's our demonstration well oiled,

DIRK: Do we get to eat cake, or should that remain tin-foiled?

You click off the music beat.

**> DR. WU: React.**

Foiled. You've been foiled.

You watch as the boy starts petting the asset's head, and she starts crooning.

SHIT.

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT.

How did she get so well trained?? You've never seen this. You knew, of course, that the "Invisibility" was just a high and fine color shifting camoflauge, but to have THAT high level of control???

Grady and Strider aren't surprised.

Dearing is SMUG. Was she aware of this? Did she PLAN this? You knew she approved of Strider's actions more over the other scientists like yourself because he was IN HOUSE JURASSIC WORLD rather than IN-GEN, but to keep you in the dark about this project...?

The INVESTORS are agreeing that Jurassic World's INDOMINUS PROJECT should go forwards with ELLIE the RAINBOW RAPTOR- wait are they seriously trying to get away with renaming the species name like that!?

DR. WU: Rainbow Raptor!? What!? No! That's a Stupid Name! That is an Indominus Rex through and through and any other names are....! Are....

All eyes turn on you.

Oh. Crap.

**> INVESTORS: React.**

DEARING: I don't know, Dr. Wu, I like it better than made up Latin.

STRIDER: totally agreed.

STRIDER: ellie's more of a raptor and less a rex anyways.

STRIDER: plus the genetic mix differences,

STRIDER: we could probably get away with labeling ellie as a different species from elise anyways.

INVSTR1: Agreed. We essentially got a two for one return on our investment. Two species for the cost of one.

INVSTR2: Even if this one has asthma, it will give us a sympathy route to play.

INVSTR2: People love a cute dinosaur and trainer.

INVSTR2: I can imagine since it was meant to be scarry and taller than a T-Rex, when we unveil the full sized I-Rex later, it will make a nice contrast. A Kid Friendly version, as it were.

INVSTR3: We'll pay for the development of this project further. Tell the trainer to keep up the good work.

STRIDER: will do

INVSTR3: Now then, let's see this... Elise.

You want to sigh in relief, but then-

GRADY: we'll have to drive out past the raptor paddock to get there

GRADY: miss dearing mentioned i had something to show you before we saw elise, right?

INVSTR2: That she did.

DR. WU: What?

DR. WU: (What is he talking about?)

DEARING: (Not now, Henry.)

DEARING: (We'll talk later.)

GRADY: well, we're heading out to my raptor paddock.

GRADY: i'll explain once we're there.

STRIDER: DIRK! we're heading out to the raptor pen now

STRIDER: make sure to lock up after us

A quick "OKAY" follows and then you're all ushered out of the OBSERVATION ROOM.

This isn't what you or HOSKINS planned.

This is what you planned at all. The investors were meant to be disappointed with the sickness and that she wasn't being trained and the asset was meant to be taken away from the boy and-

DAMN IT THIS IS ALL WRONG.

You excuse yourself to make a phone call real quick.... But you can't get hold of him.

Damn it. Damn him and his plans to mess with the CELL TOWERS and make it seem like a bird broke them. He's already gone ahead with it.

**> HOSKINS: Screw up.**

He's waiting at the RAPTOR PADDOCK when you all arrive, he seems eager to DISS ON GRADY at first, but his expression sours upon seeing DEARING, You, STRIDER, and the INVESTORS.

He quickly hurries over to you and asks what the hell is going on.

You tell him you have no idea but the Investors LIKE Ellie as a stage show prop. You'll never be able to get your hands on her now. 

He asks WHY didn't you tell him sooner and you tell him you TRIED CALLING after you left Ellie's enclosure.

The Investors are going to ELISE'S PADDOCK after whatever show is going to happen here at the Raptor Den.

**> GRADEY: Warn**

GRADEY: i'd like to open this event with the reminder that ellie is particularly well behaved after just a few months of constant attention and socialization.

GRADEY: this is on top of the chaotic slew of dna that she has in her system

GRADEY: ellie is stable, mentally, probably more human than most of the dinosaurs on this island, including her sister.

GRADEY: now,

GRADEY: raptors are smart. let me stress that.

GRADEY: even a tiny amount of raptor dna in a dinosaur will increase their intelligence.

GRADEY: this is 100% raptor smarts that i'm about to show you

GRADEY: none of this is rehearsed, or planned.

GRADEY: this is all them.

GRADEY: now keep in mind that elise is about 30% raptor dna.

GRADEY: her sister, ellie, is about 15% raptor, despite those genes being more dominant, manifesting in her smaller size.

GRADEY: that's a two times increase in raptor dna

GRADEY: today i'm going to show you a socialized raptor pack in how they act as a team.

GRADEY: i want you to keep what this looks like in mind when we show you elise

GRADEY: what these smarts look like in something that wasn't socialized.

And he shows you all what a trained squad of raptors looks like when properly trained, and socialized.

They take down a pig with ruthless viciousness, and then cuddle with each other in its remains like a bunch of teenagers playing around in a pile of leaves.

Hoskins seems surprised by this turn of events, as if he's seen nothing but failures.

Wisely, he keeps his mouth shut, even as Grady leads you all back to a car, and drive to the INDOMINUS REX PADDOCK.

GRADEY: ellie and my girls are socialized, let me repeat that for emphasis.

GRADEY: socialized.

GRADEY: you've heard the horror stories of raptors in the old park, and of the packs on isla sorna.

GRADEY: those raptors were NOT properly socialized.

GRADEY: they were treated with extreme caution and never taught to act any better

GRADEY: ellie and my girls have been.

GRADEY: let me also repeat that the routine you just saw was not ingrained behavior. it was not training.

GRADEY: i gave them no input beyond giving them the o.k. to hunt.

GRADEY: as much as hoskins here would beg to differ, raptors cannot be trained.

GRADEY: instead, we've raised our girls to be better than the weapons history tells us they are.

INVSTR2: The boy mentioned that before.

INVSTR2: About raising them, rather than training them.

STRIDER: that's the difference between the indominus rex siblings that we're showing you today

STRIDER: it's basically a case study in locking an animal in a cage and hoping it behaves versus treating a sentient being with the respect it deserves

**> DR.WU: panic**

You can practically feel the smugness radiating off of DEARING and the rest. Much as you can feel the anger radiating out of HOSKINS.

What is the game plan here? What could they possibly be angling towards??

And more importantly, how is HOSKINS' PLAN going to fare when it meets head on with this collision of events?

You arrive at the PADDOCK, and head inside into the OBSERVATION ROOM.

There are multiple angles of the I-REX on THERMAL CAMERAS.

MR. MASRANI is here, waiting. ...Crap.

The investors watch as the heat-shape slips through the trees despite not being visible in the paddock through the CRACKED OBSERVATION WINDOW. 

GRADEY: elise never got a chance to be socialized after hatching.

GRADEY: almost immediately she was locked away in a cage and not given proper attention or supervision.

MASRANI: That, however, is no fault of Jurassic World.

MASRANI: We were due one I-Rex for the park, and Ellie was 'given' to us because she was sick.

MASRANI: In-Gen took what it thought was theirs and tried to make a weapon out of Elise.

MASRANI: I'm sorry to say that they succeeded.

A GRINDING noise occurred as the feeding crane activates and lowers a LARGE CHUNK OF COW MEAT into the paddock.

It never makes it to the end.

Instead- it's ripped boldly off of the crane's cable in mid-transit, and flung across the paddock straight at the already cracked window.

STRIDER: she has a sense of smell thats so sensitive that anything that isnt her own scent is automatically marked as an enemy

STRIDER: that includes us and anything else that gets within half a mile of the paddock

STRIDER: we could have shown her that wasnt the case if wed been able to raise her like we did ellie

STRIDER: the 'irony' is now that weve trained ellie, hoskins has been petitioning that we've had the wrong ones the entire time.

The Investors all give HOSKINS varying looks of distrust and distaste.

You cower back under their gaze, even if it's not directly directed at you.

MASRANI: The real reason behind today's demonstrations are not just to approve Ellie's permanent residence with Jurassic World, but also to petition the funding of our purchase of Elise from In-Gen so that we may put her somewhere where she's not in danger of escaping and running amok on an island full of vacationers and peaceful animals, potentially causing a repeat incident of the first park.

HOSKINS: YOU---!

HOSKINS: STRIDER! You DID THIS!!

STRIDER: au contrare, buta no kao o shite watashinootoko**

STRIDER: this is all on you

INVSTR3: *snorts*

HOSKINS: what...?

HOSKINS: What did you just call me Strider!?

MASRANI: Hoskins. You're fired.

HOSKINS: WHAT?!?

DEARING: Dr. Wu as well.

DR. WU: WHAT??

You're shell shocked even as ELISE reveals herself to the visible world. She claws into a tree and begins peeling away pieces of bark, adding an even more TERRIBLE VIBE to the entire situation.

It's like she's a shark and she's smelling blood.

Her crimson red eyes blink as she observes.

DEARING: Dr. Strider has done a full analysis of Ellie and a partial of Elise, and found several troubling usages of DNA.

DEARING: The Raptor samples that ended up in Elise, for example, is different from the one that came from Ellie.

DEARING: Elise's comes from the original park- a troubling Raptor who caused most of the first park's problems.

DEARING: Ellie's comes from a raptor from our first attempt at giving Mr. Grady a pack to train.

GRADEY: a raptor that had breathing problems and died soon after hatching.

GRADEY: most of that batch died, as a matter of fact from similar health issues.

GRADEY: one even had a weak skeletal structure, a problem that ellie has.

FUCK. You hadn't authorized those usages of DNA. What if they think that was inten-!?

MASRANI: We're fairly certain that In-Gen was trying to con us into paying for a biological weapon that we would never get to keep.

DR. WU: I did NOT authorize those DNA usages!

MASRANI: According to the genetics access logs, you did.

DR. WU: But that's not---!

DR. WU: (Hoskins?)

HOSKINS: (....)

INVSTR2: I can see why you asked for me to be here, Simon.

INVSTR2: This is incredibly troubling.

HOSKINS: Of COURSE it is! Masrani Corp engineered this entire situation so they could divest themselves from In-Gen and go completely in house!!

STRIDER: if this were the internet this is where i'd cite you comically missing the point.

STRIDER: except this aint funny at all.

INVSTR3: Agreed. I want to see the records of this investigation, but I will have no problem buying out In-Gen's property and paying for Elise's transfer to... Somewhere else.

MASRANI: I thought you might say that...

INVSTR1: I hear Australia is lovely this time of year.

DEARING: More than likely we'll be sending Elise to Isla Sorna to..

That's about the last you can hear because SECURITY GUARDS grab you and HOSKINS by the shoulders and HAUL YOUR ASSES out of the OBSERVATION ROOM.

You glare at HOSKINS. Good going, you hiss. You just got us both fired by rigging the DNA samples using MY LOGIN!

He has no response.

Of course he doesn't.

You'd better hope whatever his "Plan" is that it didn't involve his direct influence, or yours. Because you've both LOST IT in one fell swoop.

You hear the INDOMINUS'S ROAR a mere moment before a CHUNK OF MEAT comes flying over the walls of the paddock and slamming into the ground in front of where you'd be walking.

...That girl has frightful aiming skills. You feel incredibly wet everywhere all of a sudden. Did it get hotter out here while you were inside or something?

**> HOSKINS + DR. WU: Discuss failed PLAN.**

WU refuses to talk to Hoskins. Everything has gone completely pear shaped, he'd rather be eaten alive than talk with this guy ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation Note. **=My man with the face of a pig  
> ===  
> Oh GOD. This whole sequence was. INTENSE. So much chatlog formatting all in a row and... HOO.
> 
> YEAH. OKAY.
> 
> Let's just. Dive into it here. LOL.
> 
> \---
> 
> We've 'successfully' derailed most of Jurassic World's movie plot. Dirk raising one of the two Indominous siblings was an interesting task to put into concept. Tying THAT into a larger plot involving everything else was... well. INTENSE. Hoo boy was it intense. 
> 
> I had to fiddle around with a few colors for the character fonts here. Wu and Claire got different colors because I didn't want to mess with custom HTML to get them the colors I had originally so Claire goes darker megido red and Wu goes to equius blue. 
> 
> Let me tell you, this whole sequence was a royal mess to edit. Haha. Ohhhboy. WOW. Such Mess. That'll be a break for now LOL.


	24. ACT 3: Meet N Greet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellie meets the Alphas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Dino Sneezys and Snot drenching.  
> Heavy emotional discussion.

**> DIRK: Meet up with others**

You meet up with the others in one of the BOARDWALK'S RESTAURANTS. Roxy and Jane are dressed normally, JAKE is either WEARING A WIG or DYED HIS HAIR BLEACHED BLOND to disguise himself, and... did he Invite his Co-Star around this time?

Dear mother of god, she's only disguised herself with a WIDE BRIMMED STRAW HAT. You'd better not say anything lest their cover be blown.

ROXY: DIIIRKKKY!

ROXY: THRE YOU ARE!

ROXY: DIRK. DIIIIRRRK.

ROXY: DIRK. OVER HERE. DIRK. DIRK!!!!

ROXY: DAMN IT DIRK OVER HERE!

JANE: A little louder, Roxy? I think they didn't quite hear you on Sorna.

ROXY: Byeeeh ;P

YUUI: Are they always this enthusiastic?

JAKE: Sometimes, yes. Sometimes no.

JAKE: It depends, really.

DIRK: Hey all. Sup?

JANE: Not much, Dirk. We're doing fine for the most part.

JANE: You know me and Roxy, we've just been relaxing.

JANE: Ja....ck here just got here, so we've been catching up.

ROXY: (reel smoooth janey)

JAKE: It's okay, Jane, you don't have to say anything.

JAKE: It's pretty much an open secret that we're here anyways.

JANE: I just don't want to draw trouble over here unlike some people.

YUUI: That's very much appreciated.

YUUI: Jake thought a wig would be less eye catching than a hat.

YUUI: Alas, the pains of celebrity.

DIRK: I see, I thought maybe you'd dyed it.

JAKE: I am so doing that once we're done filming.

JAKE: I'm tired of people recognizing me because of my signature hair-do.

DIRK: So what's up in the land of the lycans?

YUUI: A summary.

YUUI: Director's out, i don't think that's hit the news media yet.

YUUI: We're almost done filming, just prologue and epilogue left.

YUUI: Ah, jake's character is either dead or almost dies.

DIRK: What? Really?

JAKE: We're filming multiple epilogues, CLUE style.

JAKE: Either my character lives, or he dies. The end result is decided on the cutting room floor by the producers.

DIRK: Damn that's brutal. How come you're doing that?

YUUI: A confrontation with a criminal gone wrong.

YUUI: It was one of the last scenes we filmed before shipping out over here.

YUUI: A very emotional scene.

YUUI: Very easy to fake tears.

JAKE: I'm personally hoping I don't make it.

JAKE: My version of the wolf ears really pinch my skull.

YUUI: I don't get your problem with them, i found mine fitting perfectly.

JAKE: You're the female lead, of course yours are going to fit better.

JAKE: I think the director just wanted me to scowl all the time,

JAKE: Good riddence I say.

JAKE: But enough about us! Dirk! How did the presentation go?

DIRK: Going by the look on Wu's face? Pretty sure Ellie and I nailed it.

JANE: Congrats!

ROXY: SuhWEET! U get to keep her! Yay!

ROXY: That mean u get ur own game show deallie too?

DIRK: I wouldn't call it a game show, Roxy, but yes, that is the idea.

JAKE: Yuui and I are free for the rest of today.

JAKE: Are we okay to meet her?

DIRK: Should be, as long as you don't enter her enclosure directly.

DIRK: That space is something nobody besides me should step foot in unless they wanna get the shit scared out of them.

**> EX-DIRECTOR: Do something very stupid.**

You are the EX-DIRECTOR, and you are LOST. You SNEAKED AWAY to try to find the FILM SET, but GOSH DARN IT you lost your CELL RECEPTION for some confounded reason.

You end up stumbling into sight range of a LARGE PADDOCK which looks like people are around it. Okay. So...

You'll just march up there and say you're part of the film crew that got REALLY LOST because you lost the GPS on your phone. Surely someone will be able to help you out!

**> ADULTS: Talk.**

The conversation with the INVESTORS is paused as a guard comes in to inform Miss Dearing that someone from the film crew got lost because of a lack of cell reception.

As if suddenly remembering that she had somewhere else to be, she checked her phone, realized that she too had no cell reception, and made her excuses to the others that they should leave.

**> EX-DIRECTOR: Find someone to talk to. **

The EX-DIRECTOR tries to talk with Miss Dearing as she walks past him, and she just tells a guard to take him to the set, it's not like they need all fourty-two guards on duty at the Indominus Enclosure anyways.

They can spare an ESCORT.

The Investors and Jurassic World staff drive off, leaving the PADDOCK behind them.

**> KIDS: Go to DIRK'S PLACE.**

After everyone has a nice, filling lunch, they head out to ELLIE'S ENCLOSURE. 

The Paparazi is avoided deftly by using the backstage EMPLOYEES ONLY doors.

Once in the OBSERVATION ROOM, DIRK opens the door into Ellie's Enclosure, and goes to lead the dinosaur in.

She follows him in hesitantly, smelling so many new smells.

DIRK: Alright, Ellie. Meet and greet test run.

DIRK: You know the drill.

The dinosaur chitters in acknowledgement.

DIRK: Guys, if I feel like she's overwhelmed I'm taking her right back into the enclosure.

JAKE: That's fine, Dirk.

DIRK: Jane, you first, like the other day when you and your Dad were over.

DIRK: Show 'em how it's done.

He motions to Jane, and she steps forwards confidently, a hand held out, palm up. The Indominus sniffs at Jane's out-reached hand, then coos as she remembers the scent as a non threatening one. She then sticks her tongue out and licks at Jane's hand.

JANE: Oh, hello again, Ellie!

JANE: Hoo Hoo! That tickles!

JANE: You remember me, right? I was here a couple days ago.

DIRK: Yeah, she remembers you.

DIRK: Okay, Rox, you next. Same deal as Jane just did.

Roxy steps forwards, kneels down and puts her hand out to Ellie.

ROXY: hi hi hi ellieeee

ROXY: im roxy

ROXY: dunno if dirky ever mentioned it but i helped pick out your name

Ellie sniffs, hesitant, and gives off a questioning croon.

DIRK: Huh.

ROXY: wut?

DIRK: That's the sound she usually makes when she can't figure out a scent.

DIRK: It's weird, but somehow I wasn't expecting anything different from you.

ROXY: haha i guess its cause of my voidy majiyks?

DIRK: Probably.

DIRK: It's okay, Ellie. You can trust her.

Ellie sniffs at Roxy's hand a few more times, before turning to sniff at the rest of her.

Then, she sneezes in Roxy's face.

ROXY: **_Awwwww Maaannnn! Dino snoooottt...._**

DIRK: _**Welp.**_

  
Ellie then turns her head towards nobody in particular, takes a few deep breaths of fresh air to clear her nose, then goes back to sniffing Roxy. 

A moment later, she gives a coo of acceptance. 

ROXY: well im glad u like me now that i smell like ur snot, ellie

ROXY: dirky, got a restroom or somethin i can clean my face off with?

DIRK: Yeah, just outside the observation room. Girls is on the right.

ROXY: kthx brb

She heads out with a slightly disgusted look on her face, rushing to get the snot off before it dries.

JAKE: You know, upon mulling over cinematic tropes, that was almost a certainty for one of us.

JANE: I'm just glad it wasn't me.

JANE: Oh, Ellie, what made you sneeze, huh?

Ellie chitters a reply even as she nuzzles the side of her face into Jane's stomach area.

JANE: Oh you're such a glutton for attention aren't you?

DIRK: She is.

DIRK: (Here, give her a few scratches about here.)

JANE: (Thanks)

JANE: (Oooh! You like getting scratches behind the ears don't you? You're so cute Ellie!)

DIRK: As for the sneezing?

DIRK: Probably the cat fur, or the void aura Roxy's got around her.

DIRK: Who knows for sure, I don't speak dinosaur.

DIRK: Jake? You next?

JAKE: I- Uh... maybe if I dont get sneezed on?

YUUI: Maybe i should go next?

YUUI: I mean, if that's okay with you.

DIRK: Sure.

Yuui steps forwards, hand extended like everyone else.

Elise takes a moment to smell her, and gives an inquisitive croon.

DIRK: Glue?

DIRK: I know that sound and it's usually tied with stuff that's got glue on it.

YUUI: Probably the scent left over from the fur makeup.

YUUI: I wouldn't be surprised if jake didn't smell the same.

Dirk motions for Ellie to smell Jake, and she does, giving off the same crooning sound, followed by a frustrated chitter, probably asking why these two smelled like glue before backing away a little.

DIRK: Yeah, glue. Looks like the Makeup residue is masking your scents a bit.

DIRK: Sorry, she doesn't really like it.

JAKE: That's fine.

JAKE: I was kind of expecting she wouldn't like me anyways.

YUUI: The glue scent really sticks with you even after ten showers, it's quite frustrating.

YUUI: Anyways, i'm going to go check on roxy, see if she needs any help.

JANE: Probably a good idea.

DIRK: Yeah, Indominus snot is kind of hard to get off once it dries.

DIRK: Trust me when I say you don't want to know how I know that.

JANE: I think I will.

JANE: So while we're alone and away from prying ears, are we really doing this SBURB thing?

JAKE: ...

DIRK: You know Roxy's going to push for it.

DIRK: No matter what, she wants to find her Daughter-Mom Dancestor thing.

DIRK: And Callie.

JAKE: But do they even still exist?

JAKE: And I mean, are we even sure that we HAVE to play the game again?

JAKE: Just because we can tie each of us to a freak meteor accident on the same day doesn't mean we're in the same situation as last time.

JANE: I wouldn't mind playing the game if we were sure that the earth didn't get burned in the process.

JANE: That's my only reservation of this plan.

JAKE: Same. However...

JAKE: I'd like to see this movie come out first, you know.

JAKE: Rather than put all this work in and have it not get seen.

DIRK: Same on the work front.

DIRK: Roxy's the only one of us who's not really satisfied with her current life.

JANE: You know I'm pretty sure she was crushing hard on Jake and Mine's ecto-son.

JANE: But that's just one strong impression among some weak memories.

JANE: I don't remember as much as the rest of you do.

JAKE: Even then, I'm pretty sure I remember only just barely more than you do, Jane.

JAKE: Most of it is just the same, being alone and having nobody to talk to.

JAKE: I much rather like this life I lead now much more over that.

JAKE: Even if I do have to put up with jerky ex-directors who make me wear pinchy ear-prosthetics.

JAKE: But... I would like another chance to meet the grandmother I never got to really know in either of these worlds.

JAKE: Speaking of, Jane, did you ever figure out what happened to your PopPop Slash Our Ecto Son person?

JANE: No, I'm afraid that no John Egbert has quite literally been a non existant person in this world.

JANE: Instead I had a grandmother who was very smart and could have been a lawyer if not for her suddenly becoming a college professor.

JANE: That's really the strange part of all of this.

JANE: That, and Roxy's own Mother being a completely different person in this world as well...

JAKE: Dirk? Did you ever figure out what was going on with that?

DIRK: Nope.

JAKE: Well there you have it.

JAKE: A mystery that will never ever be solved by us, most likely.

DIRK: Unless we play the game.

JANE: I think...

JANE: We should leave it to you, Dirk.

JANE: I can play or I can't, either way.

JANE: I will play if you decide that we should, though.

JAKE: I.... honestly I could use a break from filming.

JAKE: Playing a video game like SBURB could be just the thing I need.

JAKE: So I'll follow yours and Jane's lead on this.

DIRK: Great. So you're basing the fate of the world on whether or not life gets screwy for me. Because that's pretty much what you're expecting of this.

DIRK: That I'll have one bad day and decide, 'screw it, let's burn it all to the ground.'

JAKE: Pretty much.

JANE: Yes, that.

DIRK: Well, fine then.

ROXY: Wut r we talkin about?

  
**> ROXY: Return.**

Roxy and Yuui returned from the rest room. Roxy's hair is flattened and pushed backwards from a lot of water to clean out the dino snot. The random GREEN DYE SPIRAL she normally keeps in her hair next to her right eye is completely MISSHAPEN at the moment because of this. The dyed tips of her hair, as well, look rather silly.

Yuui seems to be fussing with it all and comparing it to her own hair, which, now that she's not wearing her hat, can be seen to be done up in a BUN with two METAL CHOPSTICKS. 

JANE: I was just telling Dirk and Jake about the Dark Brotherhood DLC set to come out later next year for ESO.

JANE: Dirk took my offhanded comments about expecting Daedra influence and exaggerated it to burning the entire world.

DIRK: I expect nothing less of anyone who calls themselves "Sheogorath."

JAKE: I just sat here confused the entire time because I don't play the game outside of whenever you all need an extra party member and I've got free time.

ROXY: Haaaaah! Yeah, shame that.

ROXY: U two need to play more video games!!

JAKE: I just don't have the time.

DIRK: Wireless reception has been horrible around here the last few weeks.

YUUI: You play Elder Scrolls Online, Jane?

JANE: Yes, I do!

YUUI: What are your main character's class, race, weapons, level?

JANE: Mmmh, Templar, Dunmer, Resto staff on both. 50+, I can't recall the exact champion points.

YUUI: A healer! interesting.

YUUI: I'm a nightblade, breton, lightning staff on both slots. 50+ as well, level.

JANE: We should play some time!

YUUI: We should, yes.

YUUI: Since i started on the movie i've been trying the werewolf playstyle.

YUUI: What about you?

JANE: Neither wolf or vampire actually. I... had some bad experiences with both, once, in another game.

ROXY: ...

JANE: It feels like bad taste to use them in game play, also, because of the irony of my being a vampire who heals everyone- that would just be- *random hand gestures* y'know?

YUUI: Yes, exactly! it's just so- *agreeing hand gestures and nods* that!

JANE: Yes, it's- wait.

JANE: JAKE!

JAKE: *GULP*

JANE: You should have told me that you knew someone else who played the game!

YUUI: Yes, jake, i am quite disappointed in you as well for this slight of hand.

JAKE: *GULP X2 COMBO*

DIRK: My god, Jake, you've really done it now.

DIRK: You got the healer and the assassin mad at you.

ROXY: everyone knows thats a totes bad move

ROXY: yuuis gonna backstab ya then janeys never gonna heal ya

ROXY: circle of life and karmic reveng be fulfiled yo

DIRK: Alas, no amount of soul gems will be enough to resurrect jake after this brutal blunder.

JAKE: Not you two too!

JAKE: This is why I don't play the game for fun! Everyone always gangs up on me!

YUUI: That's because you play a nord sorcerer and didn't put your skill points into magic and just rely on your weapon skills.

JANE: Oh my god I KNOW how stupid is it to play into the racial stereotype like that?

JAKE: (I'm just... gonna go over and hide in the corner and tune all this out.)

DIRK: (Best just avoid that corner over there.)

DIRK: (Ellie's medicine is kept over there, and she gets nervous if someone other than me goes over there.)

JAKE: (Right, okay, I'm going to avoid that spot. Then. Right. Yeah. Okay....)

DIRK: (Now I feel bad.)

DIRK: (Ellie? Go give him some nuzzles.)

Ellie, upon hearing her name, perks up and coos curiously at Dirk. Then, she does just that, going over to Jake and cooing as she nuzzles her head against him. (She makes sure not to breathe in any of that nasty glue smell, though.) Jake just smiles at Dirk in thanks while Jane and Yuui dominate the conversation with Elder Scrolls Talk.

**> EX-DIRECTOR: Arrive on set.**

Unfortunately, he is held up by way of his escort knowing that filming isn't to be done until tonight, and that not matching up with the Ex-Director's statement of needing to be on set for a shoot happening in an hour.

The SUSPICIOUS ESCORT delays leaving the I-REX enclosure until he can get a cell signal to a fellow SECURITY GUARD at the set itself to check.

**> HOSKINS: What was your plan?**

Hoskins had secretly paid off one of the I-REX HANDLERS to lace "ELISE'S" Food Supply with STEROIDS and GROWTH HORMONES, as well as breaking the cell reception across the island in an attempt to trick some poor buffoon into going DIRECTLY INTO THE ENCLOSURE because they couldn't contact the JURASSIC WORLD OPERATIONS CENTER and check if her TRACKER was still in the cage or not.

Of course, to add an extra layer of DECEPTION of it all, there was the idea of rigging the TRACKER to go OFFLINE, but that would just be TOO SUSPICIOUS for the supervisors, so instead he had a VIRUS downloaded onto the paddock's LOCAL SIGNAL SCANNER COMPUTER that should be manifesting itself ANY MINUTE NOW.

He keeps glancing at his watch, and it's starting to freak DR. WU out just a little bit.

Then, the watch's alarm goes off. Elsewhere, a MOSQUITO CAGE is FILLED WITH TREE SAP as part of A SCIENCE DEMONSTRATION for the KIDS IN THE PARK.

**> VIRUS: RUN**

The nasty ~ATH DEATH LOOP VIRUS triggers upon the death of a CERTAIN NUMBER OF MOSQUITOES by way of AMBER ENTRAPMENT.

The SCANNER COMPUTER'S MONITORS are suddenly OVERCOME with a CASCADING SET OF WINDOWS directed to the website BUSTY ASIAN BEAUTIES. 

Predictably, the WATCH GUARD freaks out over this and starts scolding one of his associates for DOWNLOADING PORN ON THE JOB. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. I did say Jurassic World's plotline was derailed. I didn't say anything about the badguys cribbing from Jurassic Park. :P
> 
> Otherwise, have a fun little chapter here of... lots of talking. It's adorable! 
> 
> And now shit's about to hit the fan again.
> 
> ...And yes, that porno website is a nod to Supernatural. Man, who would've thought THAT was going to end the way it did back in 2016?


	25. ACT 3: Fate/Jurassic World Inevitability Clause

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Elise escapes, and Dirk hatches a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Indominus Rex POV scenes.  
> Implied Dinosaur On Human Violence.

**> ELISE: Try to get out**.

You are now the INDOMINUS REX. While the TINY ONES call you "ELISE" you call yourself by ANOTHER NAME. You are the SILENT SLAYER, and you're pretty MAD, in both definitions of the word. Not that you know what the word 'mad' even is. You were never taught TO READ. Reading is a thing you don't even know is a thing.

Despite the MIND ALTERING SUBSTANCES you've been FED over the last few days (Not that, again, you know what any of this stuff is), your mind is still UTTERLY SHARP and can smell the sudden amounts of FEAR coming from your WATCHERS.

Your KEEN EYES notice the INFRARED CAMERAS and REGULAR SECURITY CAMERAS go DARK and shutting down. 

Something has HAPPENED. What, though, you DO NOT CARE. It works in your FAVOR.

You suppress your NOT-THAT-YOU-KNOW-IT-IS-CALLED-CURIOSITY for SOME OTHER UNNAMED EMOTION ENTIRELY, and you TURN YOURSELF INVISIBLE.

This is your CHANCE.

You head over towards a wall and begin SCRATCHING AT IT in an attempt to CLIMB OVER. The last time you tried this, you quickly realized that it is ALL BUT IMPOSSIBLE to do this... even so, you jump a little and leave some LONG, SCRAPING MARKS down from as high up as your arms will reach.

This oughta give them all a HEART ATTACK- not that you know that is a thing that can be given.

You SNEAK back into the foliage as SILENTLY AS YOU CAN, which is actually PRETTY SILENTLY given your RAPIDLY GROWING SIZE.

It will only be a short matter of time before they LOOK INSIDE and try to find you.

They've done it before- when you first started cloaking and tried the CLIMB OVER THE WALL thing- but they stopped almost immediately afterwards and gave you A SHOCK through something embedded in your BACK. Somehow they knew what you could do and had something prepared to STOP YOU. Probably due to that SIBLING you occasionally catch WHIFS of off of the little beings in DARK LENSES that keep trying to talk to you.

You will kill them second- only after you've killed that pesky sibling of yours for giving away your SECRETS. 

Well, she will be first once you find her. First on your HIT LIST list. You'll probably go kill ANYONE WHO YOU CAN FIND just for the fun of it before you even get to her. Gotta ratchet up the tension some how.

But anyways, that's all tangential to you at the moment. (Wow, look at you using words that you don't even know are a thing. You know what the concept is but you don't know what the word for it actually is. And you don't really care. This has all gotten really tangential to the fact that you know the word tangential all of a sudden.) You're assuming that since the CAMERAS are DOWN, then maybe the thing that ZAPS YOU IN THE BACK is offline too?

Offline is also a word you shouldn't know, but I'm not going to keep stressing over the fact that you know words you shouldn't just for the sake of a joke.

(Jokes are also a thing you don't know exist. The very concept of humor is foreign to you.)

**> GUARDS: Dispatch**

The Guard who was suspicious about the EX-DIRECTOR decides to take him with him to go find a cell signal.

The EX-DIRECTOR is not told that's where they're going, and so is happy to go.

SIX GUARDS go into the ENCLOSURE to investigate once they spot the claw marks.

Predictably, none of these encounters go well.

The Guards who go in are quickly and quietly picked off ONE BY ONE.

Once one of them realizes what's going on, they run to the LARGE GATES and stupidly try to unlock them because it was the nearest door they thought wasn't compromised by the I-REX.

The Guard escorting the EX-DIRECTOR quickly realizes his luck in dragging this guy with him when the BODY of said Guard lands on his vehicle's WINDSHIELD, and the I-REX's ROAR can be heard echoing through the air.

The EX-DIRECTOR then proceeds to FAINT.

The guard driving him proceeds to continue driving as fast as he can until he gets CELL RECEPTION, regardless of the body on his windshield.

**> ELISE: EXIT.**

You proceed to EXIT through the FRONT GATE.

You are FREE.

You take a WHIFF of the air, attempting to find your SIBLING...

You cannot directly smell her, however, there are NEW SMELLS that you've smelled before, but never this... FRESH.

You go off in the first direction that seems the STRONGEST mixture of FRESH SCENTS.

**> ==>**

Elise would end up terrorizing some kids along the way, but that's another show.

**> STAFF: FREAK OUT.**

In the OPERATIONS CENTER, ALARMS SOUND when ELISE'S TRACKER starts making its way out of the PADDOCK.

LOWERY: S-Someone zapp the Tracker!!

LOWERY: SOMEONE ZAPP THE TRACKER!!

LOWERY: AND SOMEONE GET MISS DEARING ON THE PHONE!!

And then a phone rings, and all hell breaks loose.

Coincidentally, another batch of mosquitoes were just amberized.

**> STRIDER: Receive word.**

All eyes turn to Dearing once they enter cell reception and her cell phone rings.

DEARING: Yes, this is she.

DEARING: Lowery?? What--?

DEARING: ...Thank you, Lowery.

INVSTR2: Something wrong?

DEARING: Yes. There is. A...

DEARING: ...A Computer virus infected the park's computer systems.

GRADY: Hoskins.

DEARING: Most prominently, the virus in the mainframe's systems is of him dancing, shirtless.

DEARING: Just before the virus activated we received confirmation that Elise's tracker was reporting her having left the paddock walls.

STRIDER: hoskins.

INVSTR3: This clearly is no coincidence.

MASRANI: Not one of ours, I assure you.

MASRANI: What's the status of the park, Claire?

DEARING: ... ... ... Back up systems are activating now.

DEARING: ... ... ... The rest of the park is online, all invisible fences running...

DEARING: ... ... ... Elise's tracker is offline.

INVSTR1: Hoskins wanted his super weapon no matter what, didn't he?

STRIDER: he was planning this to go off during your visit.

STRIDER: damn that pig faced man.

INVSTR3: Yes, damn him indeed.

**> HOSKINS: Regret.**

He sits in a JAIL CELL under DOUBLE CHARGES of CORPORATE ESPIONAGE. His only regret is GETTING CAUGHT. The ASSET has no doubt escaped by now, and In-Gen will have to be called in to contain the threat. That's the plan...

Or it was until Masrani and Strider and Dearing screwed him royaly over and threw everything into disarray.

Who knows if In-Gen will be called in to contain the ASSET NOW.

Hoskins sure doesn't know, he's been CUT OFF FROM ALL OUTSIDE CONTACT since his plan to mess with CELL RECEPTION has gone a bit further off the rails than expected.

NO OUTGOING CALLS TO THE MAINLAND ARE ABLE TO BE MADE FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON.

**> Elise: Have something to do with that.**

After harassing some tiny humans who fled over a zipline and got away from you, instead of chasing them, you got distracted when you saw something TALL, SHINY, and GIVING OFF LOTS OF HEAT.

You DEVASTATED the MAIN-LAND COMMUNICATIONS TOWER just by UPROOTING A TREE and throwing it at the top.

Now the tall shiny thing is SPARKING. NICE!

**> KIDS: Receive word.**

Dirk's phone goes off.

DIRK: Yo.

DIRK: Wait what?

DIRK: No fucking way.

DIRK: Hoskins, right?

DIRK: Ugh.

DIRK: Yeah, I know what to do.

He hangs up, and gives the rest of them all a look, but JANE and JAKE especially he give firm looks before settling on Roxy.

Then, he opens his mouth again.

**> DIRK: Decide to burn it all to the ground.**

DIRK: Fuck It.

DIRK: Elise just escaped her cage due to Hoskins and his dumb virus plan.

DIRK: Roxy, I hope you brought a computer you can install SBURB on because I have an even stupider plan.

DIRK: So you'd better pray to high heaven that no meteors head our way,

DIRK: Or else there's going to be hell to pay.

**> STAFF: Evacuate the VISITORS**

This is done almost immediately as soon as yet another virus begins affecting OTHER PARTS OF THE PARK to visible effect- such as shutting down the MONORAIL that escorts people into the park from the docks. 

Though many VISITORS are dismayed by this turn of events, it is stated in the TICKET PURCHASE CONTRACT that in the event of COMPUTER-VIRUS BASED ASSAULTS, all visitors are to be EVACUATED to the DISASTER SHELTERS.

**> JAIL GUARD: What is that sound?**

You are a JAIL GUARD. 

You just heard a "THUMP" sound.

You look outside the nearest WINDOW. You see NOTHING.

You hear another "THUMP."

You look to your fellow Guard's CUP OF COFFEE and wait.

"THUMP." The coffee ripples.

You and your fellow Guard share looks of dismay.

**> ROXY: Pass out GAME DISCS. **

ROXY: wait, really?

ROXY: that's your plan dirky!?

DIRK: I know it's stupid but what other choice do we have?

DIRK: And at any rate it's not like all of us can enter at the same time with the same disk and get individual lands, so...

DIRK: Why not?

ROXY: fine.

ROXY: i guess it's a good thing i brought extra disks then

JANE: What? Why?

ROXY: well first i was jus bein paranoid about airport security swipin a set

ROXY: also i wondered if i could just make a whole fuk ton of disks for the fun of it

ROXY: but now?

ROXY: yuui's gotta have a chance to play too, now

ROXY: i mean, we did just dump the potential end of the world on her head like this

JANE: Oh. I suppose that makes sense.

YUUI: Jake, your freinds are insane.

JAKE: Sorry, Yuui. I did warn you though.

YUUI: Yes, you did warn me how 'exotic' they could be.

DIRK: He told you about us being exotic? Like, used those words exactly?

YUUI: He did.

DIRK: Jake, I approve of your choice words usage.

JAKE: Not the time or place, Dirk.

JANE: ...

JANE: Roxy, are you sure giving her the whole meteor talk was even necessary?

ROXY: we'll find out when dirk enters if we've got meteors or not

ROXY: i mean itll be p'obvious

ROXY: if we dont got meteors then if she wants to play she can play and the rest of us can take our entries slow and steady once we get home

ROXY: and if we do have meteors then we grab as many people and round em up in as many buildings as posisble and drag everyone in

ROXY: like, i've got enough spare disks and if not i can just pop up some more

ROXY: wonder if we could get a 1000 player session goin

ROXY: could be fun, yea?

YUUI: NO!

YUUI: Are you insane!? starting a game that could end the world just to get rid of one rampaging dinosaur!?

DIRK: I don't do this lightly.

DIRK: You have to understand how unstable Elise is compared to Ellie.

DIRK: How much has Jake told you about her?

YUUI: Just that she was bigger?

DIRK: Bigger, stronger, and a fuck ton more teeth than Ellie, and she's already got way more than necessary.

DIRK: She's also become hostile to anything that isn't her.

DIRK: I'm pretty sure she's going to come straight here since she gets even more rowdy whenever me and my dad showed up at her paddock.

DIRK: That is to say while I'm busy installing my part of the game, you all need to go somewhere safe- like, the hotel or one of the shelters- and have Roxy deploy the equipment for me here in the enclosure.

JAKE: You're using yourself as bait, Dirk! Surely there's another way!

DIRK: There isn't.

DIRK: This is like at the end of that one quest in ESO where you gotta sacrifi-

JAKE: SPOILERS, DIRK!

DIRK: What?

JAKE: I HAVEN'T GOTTEN THAT FAR YET. SO. SPOILERS!!!

DIRK: I thought you didn't care about ESO enough for spoilers.

JAKE: IT STILL COUNTS AS A SPOILER, DIRK!

DIRK: Fine. My point still stands, though.

DIRK: Elise is my problem, not yours, so I'm making this sacrifice.

DIRK: If this doesn't work, Jane, can you take care of Elise for me?

JANE: ... I... Of course.

DIRK: Let me just get you her walking harness and show you how to get it on.

JANE: Right.

DIRK: Everyone else, get going.

DIRK: I mean it.

DIRK: NOW!

**> THERE: Be hell to pay.**

The BACK WALL of the JAIL CELLS is suddenly pulled away with EXTREME FORCE.

HOSKINS and DR. WU stare upwards at the SOMEHOW FLOATING WALL, when it's suddenly dropped to the ground and STEPPED ON as ELISE makes herself VISIBLE.

A MAW full of TEETH grins down at the CREATOR and the ABUSER, and they both know that HELL has come to PAY ITS DEBT.

Dr. Wu's screams are mercifully cut short. Hoskins', however, are not. 

**> GUARDS: Hide in the BATHROOM.**

Anyone with any smarts does such. The powerful scent of DISINFECTANTS covers up the smell of anything.

Elise sees this and ignores it. She's gotten her revenge on the people who harassed her who were hiding at this location. The 6TH and 10TH places on her HIT LIST list. (It's a list that's called HIT LIST. The Hit List List. Yeeeah...)

Time to go get the people at the TOP.

**> KIDS: EVACUATE**

YUUI: This is insane

YUUI: This is completely insane

YUUI: Why are we not heading towards a shelter like everyone else!?

ROXY: shelters dont have wifi, yuyu

YUUI: Yuyu!? what--?

JAKE: Don't fight the nick names.

JAKE: She'll just give you even more.

YUUI: ...

ROXY: HERE WE ARE!

ROXY: cmon you two hurry up

The three of them head into the HOTEL'S COMPUTER LOBBY, and Roxy begins installing SBURB SERVER onto one of the computers.

**> DIRK: Be Bait**

JANE: Okay, I think I've got it.

JANE: ...Dirk, please, I'll keep her but only as long as it takes me to get into the game after you.

DIRK: You don't have to do that, Jane.

DIRK: If I die here but succeed in getting Elise into the game...

DIRK: Don't. Just.

DIRK: Don't.

DIRK: Leave that session to be voided out for all time.

DIRK: Have Yuui take my place or something I don't know.

DIRK: There's not a lot of damage Elise can do as a sprite in a session with only one player.

JANE: Dirk...

JANE: I can't promise that.

JANE: Ellie will be oh so sad if you die on us, and...

JANE: If you DO DIE.

JANE: I will be coming in after you to resurrect your ass back into the land of the living.

JANE: I can promise you that as my sworn duty as team healer!

DIRK: ...

JANE: Dirk, are you... crying?

DIRK: Damn it, Jane. NO. I'm not. I just...

DIRK: Got some dust in my eye.

JANE: Oh, of course you do. :P

JANE: *Hugs Dirk*

DIRK: *Is hugged.*

DIRK: Just... get going, okay.

DIRK: Get Ellie out of here,

DIRK: Go find my dad, and tell him what I told you.

JANE: Of course.

DIRK: And you, Ellie, be good for Jane, okay?

DIRK: And stay invisible when you head out of here, I don't want anyone freaking out over you being out of the enclosure.

Ellie cooes in a confused acceptance before turning invisible, leaving a FLOATING HARNESS in the air, connected to the LEASH that Jane is holding.

Dirk and Jane share a laugh at that, then Jane presses the button on the LEASH'S HANDEL like Dirk showed her- thge whole thing then turns invisible as well.

Neither kid says anything else, then Jane turns to leave, leading Ellie out of the room.

**> METEORS: DESCEND.**

No Meteors have been spotted in the days leading up to the PRESENT DAY.

A Meteor shower is predicted by scientists for SOME TIME IN APRIL, however.

**> DIRK: Connect.**

You connect to Roxy, and then show her where you want everything by walking around the enclosure.

Roxy deploys the VARIOUS ITEMS while making the REQUESTED RENOVATIONS as well.

Then, that done, you break open the CRUXTRUDER, and eye the countdown timer.

Huh? That can't be right. It's listing an entry time of SEVERAL MONTHS. 

You guess you really did crack this egg open way too early. Oh well. At the very least, if there are meteors, they won't come down right away.

THE DARK RED KERNELSPRITE emerges, flashing and insisting that you prototype it.

Patience, you tell the sprite, PATIENCE.

You sit down at the NEWLY ADDED OPENING and WAIT.

**> OTHER DINOSAURS: Escape.**

You are now ELISE, the SILENT SLAYER, once more. You SMELL the SIBLING and one of the TINY ONES.

It is much stronger all of a sudden, as if a DOOR were OPENED.

You dismiss your cloak and storm your way across the island, bellowing a ROAR of DECLARATION.

Anything in your way had better get OUT of said way before you reach it, or else you'll KNOCK IT DOWN.

The OTHER DINOSAURS wisely do so.

You don't bother killing them. You have a HIGHER PRIORITY TARGET to deal with first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things to note before I forget:
> 
> The name Elise for the Indominous Rex was likely borrowed from a Jurassic World Fanfic that I can't recall the name of at the moment. Ellie for the sibling name is a verbal modification of that. 
> 
> Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous came out this last year, so I get to make a small nod to it here now where I wouldn't have been able to before. 
> 
> ...I think there's something else I'm forgetting but ah well. Sburban Meteor Showers need not apply to this session either.
> 
> AS AN ASIDE: I formatted all of this properly, but when copy-pasting into AO3 I lost some lines of formatting lol. HOW FRUSTRATING TO HAVE TO FIX IT AGAINNNN.


	26. END OF ACT 3: Restrid's First Stand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk Enters SBURB.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:   
> Mentions of off screen Dreamself Murder.  
> Non time tagged Musical Sequence.

**> [[S] ARRIVE](https://youtu.be/yGCDDVIvx4A?t=71)**

You arrive at the STRONGEST SMELLING PLACE.

It is a medium sized, five sided building, with a large HOLE in one side. It is SMALL, but still larger than your enclosure ever was. 

The SMALL ONE that smells the most like your sibling STANDS at the entrance. He looks defiant, holding a BRIGHT RED FLARE in one hand. It is LIT, and glowing brightly.

So, he wants your attention, does he?

You ROAR, giving him your full and undivided attention. 

Then, he SMIRKS and turns to run.

You give CHASE through the wall, completely unaware of it SEALING SHUT behind you as if by magic.

He runs through the trees, following paths that you BLOW THROUGH. How can a small one be so fast as to out pace you? You let him. To let him think he can TRICK YOU.

But that FLARE gives him away. The BRIGHT LIGHT and the HEAT are a SIGNAL to your senses. He is an idiot to carry it.

You EMERGE into a clearing, and find the flare, lying on the ground, abandoned. The BOY has disappeared.

Where could he possibly be? You take a DEEP WHIFF of the air around you... And you nearly GAG at a rather OVERPOWERING, CHEMICAL SMELL. What is this!? It makes your lungs feel LIGHT AND AIRY. You look around the enclosure, and you spy a STRANGE SMOKE emerging from an AIR VENT.

Ah. So he's trying to poison you somehow. What good does that do? Besides obscuring his- Wait. That's exactly the point of it. He's OBSCURED his SCENT from you. The whole ENCLOSURE smells of this strange scent, overpowering EVERYTHING to the point you can't rely on your SENSE OF SMELL.

You focus on his HEAT OUTPUT instead, but find that the entire room has BECOME INCREASINGLY HOTTER, to the point that even the FLARE has started to become drowned out in it.

Clever Boy.

Clever, clever boy.

**> DIRK: ENTER**

You step out from behind a wall you had Roxy put up. You lock eyes with ELISE, and she glares at you in turn.

Orange lenses meet red eyes, and then she roars and lunges at you and the wall.

You dodge to the side and she breaks through it- crashing hand first into the KERNEL SPRITE.

The whole room begins to FILL with red light as the Kernel Sprite begins to PROTOTYPE THE INDOMINUS REX.

You head over to the alchemiter as quickly as you can, and you grab the CRUXITE SWORD before turning on the barely formed ELISESPRITE.

You JUMP in turn and bring the SWORD down the SPRITE, dividing it and simultaneously forcing the ENTRY PROCESS.

ELLIE'S ENCLOSURE is transported into the MEDIUM in a flash of RED LIGHT, and the world outside the enclosure turns from the TROPICAL JUNGLES into a VAST and EXPANSIVE DESERT.

As the two KERNELS fly off in either direction, you observe the LAND OF SUNS AND SOIL. The SKY is filled with an UNCOUNTABLE number of miniature SOLAR BODIES, each burning brightly enough to make this land a SCORCHED LANDSCAPE in which very few LIVING BEINGS could live.

That's when the ELISESPRITE disappears in a cloaking burst of magic, and you realize that you might have just very well trapped yourself in a DESERT with a POTENTIALLY MURDEROUS SPRITE... and not to mention the MONSTERS that will soon become JUST LIKE HER, complete with murderous instincts.

Well... Fuck.

This might have been a bad idea.

**> ==>**

Meanwhile, and yet IN THE FUTURE, in the Troll's Session, the PROTOTYPED MONSTER sniffs in dismay as it tries to track down the METEOR that the aliens are hiding on.

Soon, they will be dead. She will make SURE of that.

**> ==>**

In another session, one familiar, Four players stare upwards that the ruins of SKAIA as the PORTAL RIFT continues to expand. 

Soon, someday very soon, they will have to leave this session or else the RIFT will consume everything in its path.

**> ==>**

Prospit and Derse receive the PROTOTYPING KERNEL for the I-REX DNA in one of their FIVE TOWERS, and begin the transformations of the RULERS. Suddenly overcome with FURIOUS INSTINCTS, the QUEENS of both Kingdoms LOSE CONTROL of themselves, hunting down the DREAMSELVES of their ROYAL PLAYERS, and SILENCING THEM before they could ever awaken and ARISE.

On the BATTLEFIELD, the CHESS PIECES sit, prototyped, yet hold no true consciousness yet. They are still CHESS PIECES.

When the SECOND PLAYER Enters, however... that is when things will change.

**> ==>**

Weeks and Months in the future, Dirk sits on a wall and stares out over the DESERT LANDSCAPE, a horde of I-REX TYPE MONSTERS wait beneath for him to slip and fall.

But he will not. He will stand there and wait for THEM to make a mistake instead.

He will be the one to survive in this barren session if he has to do so, alone.

But then, that is when everyone looks upwards, and a NEW PLANET enters the game.

Dirk grits his teeth, and prays that there had better be a good reason for them to come in after he told them NOT TO.

**> END OF ACT 3**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there we go. That's the end of act. You can tell which music album came out around this time because I was using ALL the music I could from it. XP


	27. ACT 4: A Wing and a Prayer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We resume your regularly scheduled timeline shenanigans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Assisted God Tiering.  
> Catastrophies of Astronomical Black Hole Type Significance.  
> Descriptions of Massacres on Derse and Prospit.

**> ARGO: Recap.**

ARGO LALONDE states the obvious: things have gone predictably PEAR SHAPED.

REZI prototyped SOMETHING INCREDIBLY STUPID that opened a RIFT that is threatening to eat EVERYTHING in the SESSION.

JADE had to enter by way of GOD TIERING and is almost certainly a WEREWOLF now, given her Dream Self's PERSISTENT EARS AND TAIL. 

DAVE has had to LAY OFF THE TIME TRAVEL due to the rift MESSING WITH HIS POWERS, and so they all have almost NO INFORMATION from the FUTURE.

Argo also has CROW WINGS and CAT EARS and a CAT TAIL on both of her SELVES, only one of which is due to SPRITE-SQUARED TIER PROTOTYPING.

Oh, and a WINDY BOY has arrived to help PACK UP THE SESSION to bring everything into the VOID.

LOLAF and LOFAF have already been EVACUATED out of the session, leaving LOHAC behind with the FOUR KIDS standing on a GIANT FLYING RECORD, debating their next move.

DAVE: so

DAVE: since jade and me are already god tier

JADE: *scritch scratch scritch scratch*

Argo, Dave, and Rezi turn to look at Jade as she scratches the back side of her head with one of her bare, now CLAWED feet.

JADE: ...what? >:[

REZI: Nothing, Jade.

REZI: Nothing at all.

DAVE: anyways, i think it'd probably be for the best for you two to god tier too

DAVE: who knows if we'll ever get the chance for you two.

ARGO: B33< i think i should too

ARGO: B||< having a sprite-squared alt-self is really fruiickin weird.

REZI: 1f 1ts 4lr1ght w1th you, d4v3, 1'll put 1t off for 4 wh1l3.

REZI: b3s1d3s, john h4s my dr34m s3lf, so 1t m1ght c4us3 som3th1ng w31rd 1f th1s m3 god t13rs 4nd my soul c4n't r34ch my dr34ms3lf body.

DAVE: alright so that's one for one against

DAVE: also why would you do something like that rezi?

REZI: 1 D1DN'T TH1NK YOU'D B3 4SK1NG M3 TO GOD T13R, D4V3!!!

REZI: g33z3, r34lly.

DAVE: alright fine no need to shout

DAVE: okay so argo's getting this tiger, that item's off the agenda list

DAVE: next item on the list is:

DAVE: do we scratch or do we hold it off?

REZI: 1'd s4y w3 scr-

JOHN: _***ZAP!***_

JOHN: hold it off!

DAVE: oh hey its windy socky ghost boy ive never seen until literally just now and never before in my entire life nor any of my past lives that ever existed

DAVE: hes a totally mystery and a freaking enigma wrapped up in a giant windy sock of a peculiar blue color

DAVE: why ive never seen such a shade of blue ever before in my entire existence

JOHN: nice to see you too, dave.

DAVE: sup mister vague memories?

JOHN: see, this is the kind of shit that i did that got davesprite mad at me for three years

JOHN: can we not do this coy 'side referencing that you're someone from a different version of reality' thing?

ARGO: B33< speaking as being part of said davesprite,

ARGO: B33< (sort of)

ARGO: B33< i'll second that motion.

DAVE: yeah sure fine.

JADE: ._. woof.

JOHN: oh hey, jade! you're looking... uh...

JOHN: ...decidedly more brown in the hair than i was expecting, or remember.

JOHN: okay seriously is it just me or is her hair brown now?

JOHN: i could have sworn it was black before.

REZI: on3 of th3 M4NY MYST3R13S of th3 GOD T13RS, 3GD3RP.

REZI: h3r h41rs sh1ft3d colors.

JOHN: oh okay, so its just a weird god tier thing/ i was afraid i'd gotten the wrong universe for a moment there, heh.

DAVE: anyways you say we keep the scratch in reserve?

JOHN: i can't tell you why exactly just yet, but yeah, future future plans of ours involve beat mesa so we're not doing a scratch.

REZI: but th3n how w1ll w3 proc33d3?

REZI: w3 n33d to t3ll sk414 to do *SOM3TH1NG*

JOHN: uh, i don't think skaia's in any real position to do anything scratch-y right now

JOHN: seeing as it's being eaten up by the rift you caused.

JOHN: good job with that, by the way, prototyping a crystal you had no idea what it was even doing sealed away like that

REZI: L1K3 YOU W3R3 TH3R3!? WHY D1DN'T YOU STOP M3!!

JOHN: because that rift is USEFUL to us, but it's not like you knew that when you prototyped it.

JOHN: what happened to throwing in that tikki plushie in your inventory!?

REZI: WH4T?

REZI: TH4T W4S J4D3'S B1RTHD4Y G1FT, YOU DUMMY!

REZI: (and we already DID that time loop!)

JOHN: (wait, what time loop?)

JOHN: (shit. now i gotta go deal with that now don't i?)

DAVE: and apparently not mention any of this shit to her in the process

DAVE: dont you just love time travel?

JOHN: oh don't you start with me on that again, dave!

JOHN: i already got the freaking riot act read to me.

JOHN: TWICE.

DAVE: when was this i dont remember

JOHN: first time was in a doomed timeline when-

JOHN: ...

JOHN: you know what, i see that smug smirk, strider, and im not going to go off on a rant about everything we did in another itteration of reality just because you think i don't know you.

DAVE: what smirk? i see no smirk

DAVE: im quite sure there never has been nor never will be any-

JOHN: _***EXTREMELY ANGRY ZAP!!!***_

REZI: aaaaand you scared him off,

REZI: smooth move cool kid.

DAVE: MEH.

ARGO: B//< why are things always so complicated?

JADE: i dunno,

JADE: if this really were a dream i'd say...

JADE: it's a dream, just roll with it

JADE: but it's not so....

JADE: bark bark, no clue~!

ARGO: B33< hehehe, nice one

**> DIRK: Find something to PROTOTYPE in hopes of quelling ELISE'S RAGE.**

You're now DIRK STRIDER, and you're making your way across the desert landscape of the LAND OF SUNS AND SOIL towards your HOUSE.

In your several months here in the session, you've found ZERO ITEMS to prototype ELISESPRITE with. Also, if you had anything suitable in your inventory that wasn't A POKEMON THEMED PLUSHIE, and thus possibly VERY DANGEROUS...

Well, that's all hypothetical. You HAVEN'T SEEN ANY SIGN of that stupid SPRITE since she disappeared when you ENTERED.

You've basically CUT YOURSELF OFF from everyone else besides ROXY in hopes they'll leave you alone. You can't avoid Roxy, though, being your SERVER PLAYER. You've refused any and all attempts to get the others in because THERE HAVE BEEN NO METEORS. 

You're sure of this fact because all of the IMPORTANT ONES (Baby Meteors and FROG TEMPLE) were SELF PROPELLED by YOU during your few months here. You even did the ECTOBIOLOGY for everyone. It was the very LEAST you could do to ensure YOU AND YOUR FRIEND'S EXISTENCE, even if they NEVER PLAYED.

You even ended up adding YUUI into the cluster of kids, just to make sure that everyone YOU KNEW WAS ACCOUNTED FOR.

You noticed the GATES flashing two colors when they accepted the meteors, though. That was OMINOUS.

You'd wondered what that meant.

Well, now you know.

THEY WERE GOING TO ENTER ANYWAYS. They just jumped to a different point in the CHAIN. You wonder who it is who entered?

**> DIRK: figure it out.**

You figure it out because you SEE HER leaning against the WALL of your HOUSE.

Of. Course.

Of Fucking COURSE it would be her.

You completely FORGOT that the ENTRY CHAIN works with the SERVER PLAYER of the FIRST CLIENT being the SECOND in the chain, not the LAST.

Of COURSE ROXY LALONDE would be the next player to ENTER.

You drag out your CELLPHONE and text her, because you haven't spoken in WEEKS and you're sure your voice is SHOT.

TT: I am an Idiot.

ROXY: eh? dirk? why're u texting?

TT: Look around and take a fucking guess.

ROXY: oh.

ROXY: right.

ROXY: haha

ROXY: anyways you stopped texting me back and you weren't dropping by the house so we all decided that it was time to get into the game.

TT: ...Damn it, I knew I'd forgotten something.

TT: You all thought I'd gotten myself killed, didn't you?

ROXY: yuuuppers

TT: Who brought you in?

ROXY: janey.

ROXY: yuyu's bringing her in, then jake's bringin her in, then u get to bring jakey in!

ROXY: see? i can plan

TT: Sigh.

ROXY: u didn't have to dype that. i saw u sighin dirky

ROXY: still typing?

ROXY: wait el stupido question i can see u typin an' glarin' at me now so ill just wait...

TT: Just tell me you prototyped something soothing and wouldn't make an I-Rex monster even more dangerous?

ROXY: ummm....

ROXY: well... see, we all planned to prototype harmless things but...

TT: Roxy, what did you PROTOTYPE?

ROXY: ...a perfectly generic object?

**> QUEENS: Rampage through your respective KINGDOMS.**

The SECOND PROTOTYPING activates the second of each set of FIVE towers.

The FOUR-FOLD RINGS, however, seem unable to contain the data within this particular prototyping, and so SKIP the information from the chain, leaving THREE ORBS remaining empty.

Above, the BATTLEFIELD turns into a GIANT SQUARE with BEVELED EDGES AND ROUNDED CORNERS.

**> JACK: Try to stop the BLACK QUEEN.**

You are now JACK NOIR.

You would TOTALLY DO THAT if you weren't so FUCKING BUSY holding the KINGDOM TOGETHER while its QUEEN tears through it on a COMPLETELY INVISIBLE RAMPAGE.

Oh how you WISH you could stop her, but you CANNOT. 

You LOST YOUR RIGHT ARM the last time you attempted it, anyways.

She BIT IT OFF. You feel like there's some sort of KARMIC REVENGE going on somewhere about that particular ARM, but you'll be damned if you know what it is.

**> DIRK: react**

TT: Okay

TT: So why are you acting like you did something dangerous?

ROXY: ... my sprite kinda... turned into a bomb and imploded?

ROXY: i don't think perfctly generic objects were ment to be prototyped, dirky

TT: ...Well of COURSE not. They're perfectly GENERIC! What kind of data IS there to even take in??

TT: ...Let's just hope the imps didn't become spontaneously combustive.

**> JACK: EVACUATE DERSE you IDIOT, it is NOT SAFE for ANYONE, and you GAIN NOTHING from STAYING.**

You grimace as the DIGNITARY'S WORDS Echo through your head once more.

You'd told him he was an idiot, that leaving was TWICE AS BAD as staying, but no, he didn't listen.

Then he got EATEN for his troubles- along with HALF of the total population that had foolishly decided to follow him.

The QUEEN did not like someone taking her PREY away from him.

Thankfully, that incident has kept her FULL for the last few months, but it was still a devastating blow to DERSITE PRIDE. There's a REASON you're running the show instead of the DIGNITARY, even with ONE ARM.

**> JACK: Send AR and CD on a mission to--**

Eh? What was that you were going to say? To the BATTLEFIELD? It's HARD to get anyone OFF DERSE to do anything these days.

The QUEEN, as part of her REVENGE against the dignitary, BROKE the transportalizer pads and DESTROYED every ship engine she could find.

If there's ANYTHING that lets people leave Derse, you've not found it.

**> JOHN: Go to EARTH to pick up the EXILES.**

Exiles? You keep an eye on that EARTH for any exiles, but no meteors containing ANYONE ALIVE land on it once the giant one sent to Jade's house touches down.

**> ELISESPRITE: Why have you not killed DIRK yet?**

The answer to that is simple.

SPRITE CODING.

It prevents you from DIRECTLY HARMING your DESIGNATED PLAYER, or any of them for that matter.

You CANNOT HARM HIM as much as you want to.

Clever, Clever Dirk for prototyping you like that.

**> PM: How are things on PROSPIT?**

Worse than on Derse, a PARCEL MISTRESS notes with dismay as she looks away from a SKAIAN CLOUD.

At least DERSE had an ARCHAGENT that survived their QUEEN'S WRATH. Most of PROSPIT'S RULING GOVERNMENT was taken out in the INITIAL PROTOTYPING of the INDOMINUS DATA.

**> ROXY: Have something to PROTOTYPE ELISESPRITE with.**

You pull out a SPINOSAURUS DOLL that's MISSING IT'S ARMS.

Dirk shrugs at that idea.

**> ARGO: ASCEND TO GOD TIER.**

Dave puts down the ODDLY YIN-YANG COLORED DEATH SLAB- it's HALF TIME RED, HALF HEART PURPLE. Where it meets in the middle, it's a familiar, welcoming shade of GREEN.

Argo decide to stand on it as BOTH of herselves, and have Dave complete the CIRCLE of DAVESPRITE HISTORY...

He Impales the two selves with a SHITTY SWORD, and with a flash of light- both bodies merge and ASCEND.

**_You are a KNIGHT, but you are ROGUE. You are TIME, yet HEART. You are that which KILLS without hesitation. You are that which PROTECTS through DESTRUCTION._ **

**_You are she who will be DETERMINED to carry on to the bitter end._ **

A Glowing Rune of Violet Symbols rotates across Argo's emerald-green eyes. 

[ARGO ARISES as THE ASSASSIN OF DETERMINATION](https://calumthetraveler.tumblr.com/post/146237706753/argodavepetasprite-2-as-a-god-tier)\- yes, yes, we know that's not a legit SBURB aspect, but SCREW THAT. It sounds way more elegant this way.

Argo twirls around- grinning at the SWOOSHY CAPE, like a KNIGHT TIER, despite the fact that the outfit beneath the cape is very ROGUE TIER. Heck, she even got the face mask.

Deep down in Argo's soul, Cataclysm exists, but now just one of many powers at her disposal. 

Both bodies became one, and Dave seems... oddly confused by that. 

"Oh well," he shrugs. "Just another weird GOD TIER mechanic that probably bares no impact on ANYTHING."

Argo nods, "Well, at any rate, it's nice not to have my mind split between two places anymore.

**> PM: Roll call of NOTABLE SURVIVORS.**

Uh.... you don't know? You have no idea WHO IS ALIVE and WHO IS NOT beyond YOURSELF.

You were just a HUMBLE PARCEL MISTRESS before all of this. You didn't know ANYONE important, and your FRIENDS are all gone as well.

**> JACK: Roll call of NOTABLE SURVIVORS.**

There's the COURTYARD DROLL, a bunch of AUTHORITY REGULATORS, YOU, a few COURTESAN CHEFS, oh, and some STRANGE GUY called the NIGHTMOTHER'S SPEAKER. You don't know what the hell this guy even does but he's supposedly running the UNDERGROUND MOVEMENT keeping people alive.

**> VEIL CARAPACIANS: RESPOND to DUAL CRISIS.**

After the first few months and they ran out of FUNDING to run their projects, They respond by not making a shit load of INDOMINUS MONSTERS that could feasibly overwhelm them once they break out of containment, and LEAVE THE LABS behind for safety, destroying the ACCESS TRANSPORTALIZERS behind them. If INDOMINUS MONSTERS get born it will be by way of the systems doing it AUTOMATICALLY.

Everyone, Prospitian and Dersite alike, decide that this STUPID WAR is POINTLESS. Even the RECKONING COUNTERS have GONE OFFLINE.

Besides, there is no SPACE PLAYER for this session. It's not like anyone would make a GENESIS FROG at this point anyways. 

**> SOMEONE: DETONATE the LABS**

Nobody wants to go near the labs at this point. Who knows how DURABLE the monsters inside the CLONING VATS are! They could possibly SURVIVE A FULL OUT SELF DESTRUCT EXPLOSION!!!

Nobody wants to risk it.

**> JOHN: SHUNT the LAND OF HEAT AND CLOCKWORK into the VOID.**

You SEND LOHAC on ahead into the void, and now, left in a BARREN SESSION with only a RIFT to keep you company, you PESTER ROSE.

-ectoBiologist [EB] began Pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] @ ??:??-

EB: alright, they're out safe in the void

TT: Good.

EB: if you don't hear from me over pesterchum, you'll proooobably see me in person any second now.

TT: You mean beyond the you that's currently sitting with Aradia and dicussing the logistics of hiding a Sprite Amulet in a Scepter Explosive?

EB: oh, yeah, well, obviously.

EB: i mean, that's past me.

EB: lucky bastard gets to talk shop with aradia for another few hours doesn't he

EB: well, until future me comes in to send me back here to deal with all of this

EB: but i guess that future me MIGHT be me after i go through the rift???

TT: John.

EB: yeah?

TT: You're rambling again.

EB: oh, right, sorry

EB: i kinda got used to doing that whenever i'm alone.

EB: sorry.

TT: There's nothing to be sorry for.

TT: Good Luck.

EB: thanks.

**> JOHN: Jump into the RIFT.**

You steel yourself with several DEEP BREATHS, and then you ZAP as closely to the CENTER OF THE RIFT as you can, avoiding all that deadly DECAYING LIGHTNING and such with as much ease as could be.

The ENERGY of the RIFT reminds you of the GREEN SUN, for a moment. The sheer PULSING POWER that radiates out of it before it washes over you and then you realize that it's only a surface comparison.

ENERGY IS ENERGY, but it's a different kind of energy. It feels RAW, unhinged. Electric in a way that is DANGEROUS. The Green Sun, when Jade wielded it, felt... warming, comforting. Extremely powerful but CONTAINED at the same time.

There is no control here.

Where-ever this RIFT leads, it's going to be as unpredictable as it was in that game universe you're pretty sure got fused with this instance of EARTH. 

You reach into the rift.

**> PARK: Be shut down.**

Jurassic World was SHUT DOWN for FIVE DAYS to clear away the COMPUTER VIRUS from the main systems. It was then brought back up for LIMITED VISITATION for the next few months while IN-GEN was brought to COURT for LEGAL PROCEEDINGS of CORPORATE ESPIONAGE.

Once everything was SAID AND DONE, whole months had passed before IN-GEN was declared a NON-ENTITY and its assets were absorbed by JURASSIC WORLD and MASRANI CORP.

LALONDE TECH also got a CHUNK of the IN-GEN PIE- namely, the part that let ROXY LALONDE have production rights over the INDOMINUS-REX GENOME SEQUENCE.

Never again would someone create such a POWERFUL WEAPON without considering the LIFE they would be bringing into existence.

**> JACK: Question how CD of all people survived.**

You aren't sure, but you ASSUME it has something to do with him being SMALL and able to HIDE from the BLACK QUEEN'S NOSE.

**> ROXY: PESTER CHUMS.**

\- technoGal [TG] opened MEMO "DIRK!!" on BOARD "JW Legal Proceedings and OTHER STUFF!!!" @??:?? -

TG: EVERYONE! I FOUND HIM!

TG: DIRK! GET UR ASS IN HERE!!!

\- technoGal [TG] invited temporallyTranslinear [TT] to MEMO -

\- temporallyTranslinear [TT] replied to MEMO -

TT: Fine. I'm alive, everyone. You didn't have to send Roxy to

TT: ...What is with this Memo Board Name?

\- genuineTakeoffset [GT] replied to MEMO -

GT: Should we tell him?

GT: Because he totally skipped out on us for months and deserves to be kept in the dark.

TG: nah

TG: dirk, great news

TG: i now own ellie's production rights

TG: and janey is now her dedicated caretaker

TT: When did this happen?

\- apocalypseAvoidance [AA] replied to MEMO -

AA: Scroll back and look at the previous memos on the board.

AA: Summary of items includes:

AA: Notes on the legal proceedings, comments by me and jake on how that's affected the movie's ending and opening,

AA: Oh, and our plans for playing this game.

TT: And here I thought I told Jane not to let you all come after me.

\- greenGrapevine [GG] replied to MEMO -

GG: And I told you I would be coming in the moment I thought your ass was dead.

GG: Since Roxy could see you being alive while we were dealing with the legal troubles, and no meteors started falling, we felt we could wait until it was all sorted out.

GG: Also, SHAME ON YOU DIRK STRIDER FOR IGNORING ALL OF US FOR SO LONG!

TT: I was talking with Roxy!

TG: up until just now u had me bloked so that you could send me messages and not receive any

TG: that does not constitute "le talking" dirkypuu.

TT: Dear god, are you going to nickname me to death now?

TG: thats tha plan, distri

TG: wanna hear the whole list now or should i tease it all out over the next few days, mr. sandstalker?

TT: Please, no more, I submit! Take me to jail.

AA: That could be arranged.

GT: Yuui, please.

AA: What? i am only saying that it could be arranged.

TT: So, please, tell me you've got a reason for playing the game now of all times?

GG: Well, first of all, Ellie misses you terribly.

TT: Okay, fair enough.

GG: Second of all, you'd gone off the radar.

TT: Did we not already go over this?

GG: No.

GG: Thirdly, a rift opened up near the sun.

TT: What.

AA: Please see the memo titled "#green muther fukin blapk hoel"

TT: ...

TG: don't look at me like that dirky, i was DRUNK OFF MY ASS because, as the memo notes, a GREEN MOTHER FUCKING BLACK HOLE SHOWED THE FUK UP ANBD STARTRED EATRING THE FREAKIN SUN!!!!!

TT: Okay so that's a pretty decent reason to start playing.

TT: So I'm guessing you've got an evacuation plan in mind since this memo you told me to read is at least half-a-month old already?

GG: Yeah, we do.

TG: see memo board '#plan rip off molag balls'

TT: That is a very descriptive name.

GT: Roxy came up with that plan the same night, but we all decided the name worked.

TT: ...I can't believe the sheer insanity that you all have whipped up here.

TT: You're going to literally alchemize a fucking Dark Anchor?!

GG: Anchor*S*!

GG: Plurals, Dirk. PLURALS.

TT: Plurals...

TT: Three simultaneously timed entries with anchor points tying the Earth to the Medium...

TT: ...Holy shit this actually could work.

TG: course it will

TG: we're exploitin tha SHIT outa this game

**> JACK: LURE the QUEEN to the MOON, then have CD cut the CHAIN.**

Tried that already. Part of the plan where you LOST YOUR ARM. Please, subconscious, don't remind yourself of that horrible failure again, please?

**> JACK: Cry softly.**

You start to cry into your left arm's elbow, because that's the only thing you have to do right now when your subconscious starts beating your failures over your head.

Why must your brain be so cruel as to bash this stuff into your head over and over again?? 

**> CD: Attempt to comfort JACK.**

You'd try to comfort him, but then he'd just hit you over the head with your UMBRELLA which would just make YOU sad. And... Oh geeze, just thinking about it is making you tear up a little.

**> ASTRONOMER: Examine RIFT.**

My God, it's full of GREEN LIGHT!

It's quite strange, this BLACK HOLE like rift. It gives off LIGHT instead of ABSORBING IT. Nobody is quite sure what the hell it is at all, save that it DEFIES ALL COMMON SENSE.

And- OH MY GOD A GIANT ROCK JUST APPEARED IN-BETWEEN IT AND THE EARTH.

**> PS + PI + AD: IMPACT already!**

The EXILED METEOR crashes into the OCEAN, near a set of FROG RUINS set in the bay of an ABANDONED ISLE. Thankfully, the meteor is small enough that it doesn't cause too much of a global impact. Just a few extra strong waves for the next few days.

THREE EXILES emerge from with-in, and swim to the ABANDONED ISLE.

**> TIKKI: Examine VOID.**

First off, even you, as a cat, could tell that this command was sent to an ABSURD AMOUNT OF PEOPLE. Too many people, in fact! (The author just chose one at random to fullfil this command.)

It's a BLANK VOID, in which a SUN, and SEVERAL LARGE PLANETS float within.

The SBURB PLANETS of the failed session reside here as well.

None of this is anything SPECIAL. You've just traded a BLACK VOID for something even more META-LY BLANK. It's like... a Background, you'd guess? It's there but NOT REALLY IMPORTANT.

But then again, you're a CAT. So maybe it's something special for everyone else?

You gauge the reaction of your OWNER, who is wearing some FANCY NEW CLOTHES. You can't really HEAR what she's saying, but you can pick up some of the VIBRATIONS in the AIR caused by her speaking. She feels... not particularly overwhelmed at the moment.

You suppose that's the general reaction from everyone and you don't really focus much on this train of thought after that. Instead, you MEW and rub up against your owner's LEG.

The DOG GIRL gives you a strange look, but you ignore it. You got over her trying to CHASE YOU DOWN earlier rather quickly. It's all in the past. POOF. Like it never even happened, now.

(Narratively. I think I actually cut that sequence, so it's even MORE like it never even happened now. HAHA.)

**> ASTRONOMER: Spread WORD.**

He does such in a panicked state- and everyone ignores him because OF COURSE now it's a METEOR APOCALYPSE AS WELL as a BLACK HOLE THING. Nobody cares. They're all doomed either way.

A mass panic fails to form.

**> ARGO: Cuddle the KITTEN.**

Argo picks Tikki up and cuddles her as she and the others talk.

JADE: but really, i'm just wondering-

JADE: how the hell am i supposed to get raw meat out here now??

DAVE: we have alchemiters, jade,

DAVE: besides, my bro went and bought a bunch of meat for a grilling party last... week, i guess, that never really happened because of a photoshoot.

JADE: what!? really!?

DAVE: yeah its just frozen in the freezer

DAVE: though that might have changed since my house droped its skirts and jumped into lohac's much more steamy environment

JADE: ewwww, dave!! i did not need that mental image~!!!

JADE: but if that meat is going to go to waste, i mean... >_>

JADE: i am pretty hungry!!

JADE: i dont think ive eaten since dinner last night :I

DAVE: that settles it then, EVERYONE TO MY PLACE FOR A BARBECUE!!!

REZI: y34h, sur3, just g1v3 m3 4 m1nut3 to s33 wh4t johns do1ng.

ARGO: k, see you there! B33

They all take off via GOD TIER FLIGHT POWERS and head towards DAVE'S HOUSE.

Jade seems rather uncomfortable with the idea of flying without having any visible wings, but she quickly gets the hang of it.

Argo shows off by doing a few AERIAL TRICKS.

Tikki loves it, Dave just calls her a show off. Jade just gives off a small whine of dismay.

Argo makes sure to give her cousin a big HUG once they land.

**> ROXY: Have something to PROTOTYPE.**

You suggest a bunch of other MANGLED PLUSHIES to Dirk for prototyping until he finally just asks you where the hell you got all of them.

You admit that you got them from a PIZZA PARLOR that Jane got a winter job at. 

He says that doesn't answer why the plushies are MANGLED.

You just tell him that the PRIZE MACHINE that dumps the toys is NOT VERY GOOD at delivering things SAFELY. More than one plushie has SUFFERED PLUSHIE DEATH by the hands of that SHARP METAL CLAW- well, before you STOLE THAT AWAY and replaced it with something better.

You show him the METAL CLAW- rust and MYSTERIOUS STAINS included- and Dirk just gives you a look of "ARE YOU CRAZY!? PUT THAT AWAY!" He even takes his shades off to complete the effect, just so you can see how wide his eyes are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh, right one last thing. you can probably guess by now but yeah, Yuui is Human!Damara. She got caught up in the shuffleabout too. You can kinda see how she's a prototype of how Serara ended up in SG:Alternia, I guess. To some degree. IDK.


	28. ACT 4: Exile Vilify

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which not a lot of import happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> A glimpse at world reactions to the current situation... so...  
> Politics and Human Stupidity when faced with the end of the world.  
> Also, some truly bizarre reader commands are presented here.   
> Time Paradoxes.   
> Time Travel.  
> Time Headaches.  
> Dismemberment. (The Intruder loses a Hand. Again.)  
> Implications of Massive Explosions.  
> Mass Evacuations.

**> EXILES: Make for the TEMPLE.**

They head INSIDE, and rest just inside the MAIN ENTRANCE.

**> PS + AD: INTERROGATE PI.**

Unfortunately, PI is still ASLEEP. Geeze, it seems like it's been WEEKS NOW, but that's probably just the DEFENSE PORTAL JET LAG catching up with you. It's really only been about TWO HOURS, perfectly reasonable for him to still be sleeping off AN ARM REMOVAL.

**> FUTURE DAVE: Emerge from the LOTUS TIME CAPSULE.**

You EMERGE from the LOTUS TIME CAPSULE expecting to see TEREZI WHEN--

Aw. 

FUCK.

Carapacians???

And wait- isn't that the guy you were chasing, except, unarmed????

That looks like your handy work.

You're PRETTY SURE that you've somehow gotten stuck in an ALTERNATE TIME LINE.

You turn to glare at the SUPPOSED TIME CAPSULE, then up at the STATUE it stands under. You think you finally figured out what the heck this thing even is. It's a time capsule, sure, but it's some kind of freaky JUJU MODUS TYPE CAPSULE. 

It DUPLICATES whatever enters it on one end to go to A MATCHING CAPSULE on another world.

THIS STATUE is of a SLENDER, SPACE-ASPECT GOD TIER BE-ROBED SKULL-HEADED GIRL who wields a BATON.

That is to say, not the SAME STATUE you saw when you and the... guy who's about to come out went into oh SHIT THE CAPSULE IS BEEPING NOW.

The PROTOTYPED INTRUDER emerges a moment later, looking just about as confused as you are.

You're SURE this thing isn't a time capsule now. That seemed MUCH TOO FAST for some reason.

**> UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT: Attempt to use SENDIFICATORS to EVACUATE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT to secret MARS BASE.**

They try to do that despite Roxy having provided CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS on NOT TO SEND LIVING ORGANIC MATERIAL through them.

Predictably, nobody arrives on the other side alive.

What idiots. This is why you should always read the instructions.

**> DIRK'S DAD: Where are you?**

Working at JURASSIC WORLD still. Keeping an eye on all the IN-PROGRESS projects that need observation.

He also is staying here so that way he can catch a ride when JANE enters the game- because she, as Dirk's designated caretaker for Ellie, couldn't take Ellie off the island.

**> LOTUS TIME CAPSULE: BLOOM YEARS IN THE FUTURE (but not many).**

The capsule BLOOMS, several years in the future despite this earth's near imminent destruction. TWO MEGA MEWTWO Y PLUSHIES emerges from the capsule. One is in PRIME CONDITION, the other seems to have been slapped around a lot Nobody is there to take claim of the plushies, but-

Wait.

A DAVE time travels into existence, swipes up the plushies, and time travels away a moment later.

Well, there's probably a reason for that.

What's that reason?

**> DAVE: use plush tech LV 25: Paradoxical Plush Shower**

While several TIME CLONES of DAVE fight against the CLONED PROTOTYPED INTRUDER- much to the confusion of the PROSPITIANS WATCHING- another DAVE appears and throws the PRIME CONDITION MEWTWO Y PLUSH into the INTRUDERS FACE.

He yelps in surprise, and the plush gets thrown aside, where it gets caught by another Dave who time travels to throw it onto the LOTUS CAPSULE. It gets sent forwards, then returned, via time travel before being sent forwards and returned and sent forwards and returned--- 

This cycle continues a few more times until the PRIME PLUSH is now the SLAPPED AROUND version, where it lands on the platform solo and is SENT AWAY, where it emerges elsewhere, in another FROG TEMPLE METEOR- several YEARS in the past.

A CONFUSED DOCTOR JAKE HARLEY picks up the plush in confusion.

The CAPSULE the OPENS UP again and spits out an I-PHONE, with pictures of the MISSING RUNES on it.

The older HARLEY takes up the PHONE, and YET ANOTHER MEGA MEWTWO Y plush appears- this one is PRIME and untouched. 

Harley, in a fit of amusement, places the SLAPPED AROUND PLUSH onto the capsule platform with the PRIME PLUSH and both are sent back to the beginning of the cycle yet again.

All the while, Dave Strider never is sure where the danged plushie entered the cycle in the first place, but he'll admit it's FUN to throw the thing in the INTRUDER'S FACE a bunch of times.

**> INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION: Attempt long journey to MARS.**

It is a _**SPACE STATION.**_ It has **_NO MEANS OF SELF PROPULSION._ **There is a **REASON** they built it in **_ORBIT._**

Besides that- the RIFT is next to the SUN and ABSORBING IT'S MASS. The Sun would still be EATEN ALIVE by the RIFT and could possibly go SUPER NOVA.  
  
Even if the ISS _***COULD***_ Get to MARS- what then? 

WHAT?

THEN?

**> SPACE AGENCIES: LAUNCH the few MANNED SPACECRAFT you have.**

I think you vastly underestimate the severity of this situation.

**> DAVES: Defeat the PROTOTYPED INTRUDER.**

You deliver a COUP DE GRASS by REMOVING THE INTRUDER'S RIGHT HAND.

The RING and HAND goes FLYING away, landing in a corner of a-

Wait.

Where are you again?

Apparently at some point during the whole kerfuffle you managed to TIME TRAVEL WITH the INTRUDER once again.

You are now FAR in the DISTANT FUTURE.

There is NO SIGN of the FROG TEMPLE anywhere around you.

,,,Well, Shit.

In-fact, it looks like the whole TEMPLE has been LEVELED entirely by something EXPLOSIVE. 

**> DAVE: Examine epicenter**

You snatch up the HAND WITH THE WHOLE AND COMPLETE RING and fly away before the DIS-HANDED INSPECTOR can grab it again.

You fly over where the EPICENTER of the explosion seems to have come from, and then time travel backwards by measures of YEARS until you find what caused it.

Completely unsurprisingly, it seems that the EXILE METEOR that brought those carapacians here was the cause behind it- some kind of delayed reaction?

OH well, you've got an EXTRA RING, and a BEATEN AND BATTERED MEWTWO PLUSHIE from the endeavor...

You...

You really have no idea what to do now because it's PRETTY CLEAR you've fallen out of step with the ALPHA TIMELINE you originated from.

You'll just... roll with the punches, you guess.

**> DAVE: Fast Forwards to PRESENT.**

You Decide to JUMP BACK SEVERAL DECADES and SEE WHAT HAPPENED here on THIS EARTH by RIDING LINEAR.

Surprisingly, you DON'T EXIST HERE, so you RE-ESTABLISH YOURSELF. At some point you end up going to COLLEGE, which you never had a chance to do, and get degrees in PALENTOLOGY AND GENETICS.

Much to your surprise, you discover that JURASSIC PARK is a real thing on this world. You try to get a JOB, but alas, you just missed the actual Park by a matter of weeks. You don't time travel to get the job because by this point you've been GOING LINEAR for YEARS now. 

Besides, at around that point you catch sight of a METEOR CRASHING nearby and inside- well what do you know, it's your own fucking BROTHER as a BABY.

You ADOPT HIM as your SON, and a few years later, you're approached by MASRANI CORP for JURASSIC WORLD'S GENETICS LAB.

BEST. FUCKING. DREAM JOB. EVER.

You spend the next SIXTEEN YEARS OR SO living it up as a geneticist, and PREPARING for the eventual START OF SBURB. 

Then all that shit with ELISE happens and- wow, would you LOOK AT THAT, you've CAUGHT UP TO THE PRESENT DAY and the GREEN RIFT is threatening to EAT EVERYTHING and you STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT CAUSED IT.

That sure was one mystery that refused being solved, wasn't it? 

**> STRIDER: Wonder what happened to baby you.**

Either: 

A. BABY YOU landed so far in the past as to have not made a noticeable difference.

B. BABY YOU landed in the FUTURE and so has not been observed yet.

C. BABY YOU landed in ANOTHER COUNTRY and goes by ANOTHER NAME.

D: BABY YOU never arrives in this instance of reality.

All are perfectly valid with what you've observed.

**> FUTURE PI: React.**

You're left in the RUINS of the TEMPLE, without a HAND.

You have no idea what the hell happened other than that SOMETHING WENT WRONG. You HAVE TO GET back to the session. You search for the TRANSPORTALIZER PADS but... you cannot find them. You have no TIME MACHINE either. 

You LOOK UP at the sky and see...

Nothing.

It's BLANK. A color that can only be described as BACKGROUND.

It is also VERY COLD.

When-ever you are, this planet has been without a sun for A VERY, VERY LONG TIME. 

**> PS + AD: React.**

Neither of you have any idea what the fuck just happened, but obviously this TEMPLE is not secure.

It might be in your better interests to LEAVE IT ALONE and-

That's when the TRANSPORTALIZERS downstairs activate, and the sounds of PEOPLE TALKING emerge slowly, forming into the sounds of a CROWD.

After several tense moments, PS and AD look down INTO THE HIDDEN AREA. 

PROSPITIANS AND DERSITES wearing VEIL LAB COATS are fleeing through from a sight unknown. They all look AFRAID.

What the hell happened to cause this??

**> CITIZENS OF EARTH: Throw an APOCALYPSE PARTY.**

A lot of people do this. Do *WE* need to focus on it, though?

**> UNITED STATES MILITARY: Go MAD with POWER.**

Depending on the particular branch, some do, most others don't. The ones that don't are the ones who join the Apocalypse Parties because what good does their particular branch have anything to do when the WORLD IS ENDING?

**Again, _do *WE* need to focus on this??_**

**> PS: INVESTIGATE.**

You subtly begin MERGING with the crowd, and listen to the tales told.

Prototyping gone wrong, check, QUEENS GONE ROGUE, what the fuck? 

This is clearly NOT YOUR SESSION.

You take the ACE DICK aside to discuss your options. These Prospitians and Dersites likely DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE, and are probably from ANOTHER SESSION! What are the odds.

He thinks you should stick with them just to see how things turn out. For now, you agree. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back to this! Hoo. 
> 
> ...Yeah, some of my readers were submitting very strange commands focusing on things not relevant to the plot. Also. Like. The ISS??? How??? Even???? Would that command *work*????????


	29. ACT 4: Behind the Veil.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is frustrating on many levels. This is the second time i've had to try posting it because I LITERALLY LOST THE PAGE DATA by accident the first time. DAMN IT.
> 
> ALSO. Some More Bizzarrrrrre Reader commandsssssss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Ellie eats a chicken like creature alive.

**> JAKE + JANE + YUUI: Link up.**

Meanwhile, behind the VEIL OF ABSURDITY going on in the world, three players prepare to SAVE IT.

Connections are made, devices are deployed, and yet... they wait.

They wait for she who will pull rings from the void, and open gates between dimensions.

**> DIRK: Gather GRIST.**

Gather it you have, when it drops. You did it mainly just to ALCHEMIZE FRESH FOOD, but lately even the smaller monsters have been giving out an EXCESS OF GRIST. It's almost as if SOMEONE forgot to turn off the INFLATION VALVES or something.

Roxy is too busy MEDITATING, however, to focus on any GRIST GATHERING. She's presently trying to generate a MINIATURE[ DARK ANCHOR](https://elderscrolls.fandom.com/wiki/Dark_Anchors) about the size of a dinner plate with which she can captchalogue and reproduce at GIANT SCALE once she has the code. You'd hope you'd have enough grist, but really, you probably have way more than enough as it is.

**> JANE: ALCHEMIZE.**

You decide to PRE-EMPTIVELY get a head start on the GEAR GRINDING, and attach one of Roxy's CLEVER WIDGITS to the ALCHEMITER- essentially tricking it into accessing ANOTHER SESSION'S GRIST RESERVES and letting you do ALCHEMY without popping the lid off the CRUXTRUDER yet.

You start by first creating your OWN GEAR- using the HACKING PROGRAM Roxy included to tap into your ESO INSTALL on the computer so that you can whip up a REAL LIFE COPY of your main character's HIGH END GEAR.

Is this totally breaking the SBURB system by dragging in data from another game? Sure. But ROXY wasn't going to leave this version of SBURB up to MERE CHANCE.

Once you're sure it WORKS, you inform YUUI, who begins working on her own REVERSE-GAME-CODE-ALCHEMY-HAX for her own in-game gear.

You them ALCHEMIZE UP a DOZEN [BANTAM GUARS](https://elderscrolls.fandom.com/wiki/Bantam_Guar_\(Pet\)), based off of a cute critter in the ESO Game world.

Utterly harmless, with a natural level of LEVEL 1. A CRITTER. In other words, you'll throw one of these things in as prototyping fodder- and then the monsters will gain all the powers of a SMALL, CHICKEN-SIZED LIZARD. That is to say- not very much!

Because of their SMALL SIZE, they're counted as a FOOD ITEM by SBURB's ALCHEMY system, and thus don't cost very much unlike if you tried alchemizing something LARGER and potentially SMARTER.

Ellie swipes one up when you're not looking, and you're only aware of it when the tiny beast gives off a dying SQUEAK. 

You eye Ellie for a few moments, waiting to see if she suffers any reaction, but nope, it looks like they're SAFE for her to eat. You breathe out a sigh of relief and ALCHEMIZE a few more up.

It's not like it's YOUR GRIST anyways, so why not?

**> CARAPACIANS: Destroy TRANSPORTALIZERS.**

They do that, and PS laments any chance of using them to escape back into the session.

**> CARAPACIANS: EXPLORE.**

The vast majority leave the temple to settle on the island, COMPLETELY IGNORING the VERY VISIBLE GREEN RIFT next to the SUN.

**> JOHN: Lose the GRIST you DESPERATELY NEEDED.**

While you're PLANNING with the TROLLS, you go to the ALCHCHEMITERS to WHIP UP DINNER.

Before you get much of a chance to, however, a CHUNK OF GRIST disappears MYSTERIOUSLY. It's a MEASLY AMOUNT, so you ASSUME that someone else on the meteor is using ANOTHER ALHCEMITER somewhere, and go MAKE DINNER anyways. That should SETTLE SOME NERVES.

**> PARTYING MOB: Cause MASS DESTRUCTION.**

This is a given.

**> WEIRD CULT: FORM.**

THE CULT OF THE GREEN RIFT is a group of REVELERS who believe that the rift is the result of GOD'S WRATH finally manifesting upon Man Kind for their HUBRIS of CREATING THE INDOMINUS REX GENOME and---

SERIOUSLY? What impact could a weird cult like this even have on the story!? Are you players just sending me weird commands just to see what happens!? What's next? Are you going to ask John to turn into a Hoopa and summon a HIPPOPATAMUS from the ETHERIC VOID like a WHALE surfaces with GRACE while WIELDING SEVERAL LETHAL WEAPONS, including, but not limited to ICE-PICKS.

**> CHAOS: Interfere with PLAN.**

And You!! Wait your turn, Chaos Emeralds!! Just because there's a RIFT OPENING in the sky that's the SAME COLOR as you are doesn't mean you have any right to step in right here and now!!!

STEP. OFF. Or else I'll call EGGMAN on you!!

**> SBURB: PUNISH the GAME BREAKERS.**

SBURB is merely a GAME CONSTRUCT PORTAL and has no means of PUNISHING CHEATERS. SKAIA, on the other hand, knew this would be happening all along.

That is to say, PUNISHMENT WILL COME WHEN IT IS LEAST EXPECTED.

**> ELISESPRITE: Go to DERSE.**

You travel to DERSE for reasons unknown. 

**> SOMEONE: ARRIVE on the ISLAND.**

The SOMEONE is a WORRIED VESTIGE, one of the DERSITE carapacians who is going to the FORMERLY ABANDONED AND UNKNOWN ISLAND.

I mean, seriously, what reason would any HUMANS have for coming to this island?? 

Nobody has taken the METEORITE SPOTTER seriously enough to even want to DISPATCH anyone, and the METEORITE SPOTTER has no MEANS of getting out there on his own so...

Who are you expecting besides any of these Carapacians? The TOOTH FAIRY??? 

**> JOHN: Turn into a HOOPA and--**

Okay to be fair, past me was asking for this one. Answer's still no.

> ==->

What even is that supposed to be, a harpoon launcher shooting a harpoon??

> ==->==->==->

Just the one arrow will suffice thank you very merry muchly.

> ==->

You're not going to let this go, are you?

Are you??

> ==->==->==->==->!!!!!!!!

Use your words, please.

**> JANE: Open your ALCHEMITER.**

You wonder what possessed you to try opening the ALCHEMITER. There's no real OBVIOUS SPOTS for anything to be OPENED on it. 

Maybe the Cruxtruder...? But nah, you gotta wait to open that. Part of the PLAN, and the plan requires ROXY'S SIGNAL.

**> ROXY: Finish up already!**

The sudden MENTAL INTRUSION causes your control to slip, causing you to create a MINIATURE STARGATE instead of a DARK ANCHOR.

Great, you've got a TINY ONE WAY RING SHAPED PORTAL. Close, but you want a TWO WAY ring shaped portal.

These things take time, and you glare at Dirk (And also the non-visible FOURTH WALL) to please let you work your magic in peace.

**> ADULT DAVE: Reveal your secrets.**

Nah.

**> JOHN: Try to forget the WEIRD SHENANIGANS.**

You have no idea what SHENANIGANS you're supposed to be forgetting or WHEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FORGETTING THEM. Seriously, people, how hard is it to tag a time-frame here??

Regardless, after a NICE DINNER which calmed a LOT OF NERVES, you return to DISCUSSING THE PLAN (That the readers already saw executed wayyy back two acts ago) with ARADIA.

She's actually kind of quirky in her whole I WANNA SEE EVERYTHING EXPLODE kind of way. Certainly her DANGEROUS GRIN is a bit more tame than TEREZI's had been as a troll, and is somehow just the SLIGHTEST BIT LESS UNSETTLING than that same grin of Terezi's on her HUMAN FACE. 

**> JANE: Examine room.**

You're in the OBSERVATION ROOM of ELLIE'S NEW PADDOCK. You basically had it built to match the SAME SPECS as your old room. If this were an ART BASED COMIC instead of a TEXT BASED ADVENTURE, you would see that the artist had just reused the same ROOM LAYOUT, increased its SIZE VALUE by a LOT, and just TOOK OUT A WALL and replaced it with a GLASS WALL overseeing the NEW PADDOCK.

There are a LOT OF GUARS clucking around in here, as well. But we JUST SAW where those came from.

**> JAKE: Examine room.**

You're in your HOME AWAY FROM HOME- your SUMMER VACATION HOUSE. It's not quite yet SUMMER, but you decided to come here for the PRIVACY (And Roxy's plan needed an ANCHOR POINT somewhere around these coordinates anyways...) so here you are.

Lucky break that, you'd say.

You're in your LIVING ROOM. There's a lot of MOVIE MEMORABILIA hanging around from your PREVIOUS PROJECTS but you don't really want to look at it just yet. You're sitting pretty on your LOUNGE CHAIR and waiting for ROXY'S SIGNAL so you can get Jane into the Game, and Yuui get you in, and then DIRK get Yuui in all at the same time.

It's a lot of complex timing stuff but you're too busy to want to think about the logistics other than wait on Roxy's signal.

**> YUUI: Examine room.**

You're in your RECENTLY ACQUIRED PENTHOUSE APARTMENT SUITE'S BEDROOM. You happen to live somewhere in NEW YORK, which is part of the COORDINATE CLUSTER, which forms SOME KIND OF TRIANGLE, all part of ROXY'S PLAN.

The walls are THREADBARE because you only JUST GOT THIS PLACE for the sake of the COORDINATE TRIANGULATING.

You are WAITING for DIRK to finally CONNECT and put everything down, which is the PRELUDE to the SIGNAL that everyone is waiting for to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if the arrow spam commands were reader provided or if i was just genuinely that frustrated with the nonsense. Can't remember now.


	30. ACT 4: Rip off Molag Balls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things predictably go pearshaped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Brief Electrocution.

**> ROXY: Complete Dark Anchors**

You finally VOIDIFICATE UP a PERFECT SET of DARK ANCHORS.

You give Dirk the go ahead to start getting YUUI set up while you alchemize up THREE GIANT VERSIONS of the Anchors.

You use your GRIST TORRENT HACK to get the necessary grist because HOOO BOY are these things EXPENSIVE AS FUCK.

You skim a little off of the SESSION'S RESERVES- you'll tell Dirk that they were surprisingly cheap. He doesn't need to know.

You then begin traveling to the THREE SPOTS where you'll be setting up the ANCHORS.

The FIRST ONE sets up over DIRK'S HOUSE, and will CONNECT WITH JANEY'S COORDINATES- Jurassic World!

The SECOND ONE will go over YOUR HOUSE, and will CONNECT to YUUI'S COORDINATES- New York City!

The THIRD, and FINAL Anchor will go over the BATTLEFIELD, and will connect to JAKE'S COORDINATES- which is SOMEWHERE on a PRIVATE ISLAND near NEW ZEALAND.

It's not a PERFECT TRIANGLE, but if it was, you'd probably TEAR THE EARTH APART, and really, you just want to PULL IT INTO THE MEDIUM when the HOUSES are brought in and generate THEIR LANDS.

**> JOHN: Emerge from the RIFT.**

The JOHN who stepped through the RIFT finally emerges just in time to watch THREE GIANT RINGS appear in LOW ORBIT in ANOTHER EARTH'S ATMOSPHERE- dropping MASSIVE ANCHOR CHAINS towards the GROUND BELOW.

**> JOHN: React**

What the FUCK.

You travel to the planet (Another Earth??) below, and investigate ONE OF THE CHAINS as the BREEZE.

You follow it to a TROPICAL ISLAND full of DINOSAURS and a THEME PARK full of NOW PANICKING VISITORS... And that's where you see JANE EGBERT, dressed up like a wizard, surrounded by STRANGE LIZARDS, and a---

Holy Shit is that the thing that gets prototyped to make the Monster harassing the Troll's Session???

The thing turns its head towards your breezy mass and snarls slightly.

[ _**!!!!** _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2P5qbcRAXVk)

Oh SHIT FUCK DAMN YOU'VE BEEN DETECTED!!!

Your TEEN-AGED WIZARDY NANA twirls a STAFF and _**OW OW OW OW OW LIGHTNNNIIIIGGGHHHHHNNNNHGRRRFFFFF WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE LIGHTNING!?!?!**_

You reflexively ZAP THE FUCK OUT OF THERE, and come crashing back down into the TROLL METEOR.

JOHN1: well that didn't look pleasant

JOHN2: fukofffijusgozapd...

JOHN1: what? i didn't quite catch that.

ARADIA: he said he g0t zapped.

JOHN1: by what?

JOHN2: ...rnana...

RHOZEE: I do believe he said it was a Banana.

JOHN1: well i guess i'll have to go find some banana then?

JOHN1: oh well.

JOHN1: time to go see what the hell terezi prototyped!

JOHN1: bee-arr-bee! haha *ZAP!*

JOHN2: nnnoooooorrghhyouidjit...

ERIDAN: i didnt need a translator for that one.

ARADIA: i guess future j0hn wanted t0 tell the j0hn that just left s0mething important?

RHOZEE: By the way he's now repeatedly slamming his face into the floor, I would say the answer is yes.

RHOZEE: Eridan, would you be a dear and go alchemize a shock treatment potion... and also a first aid kit?

ERIDAN: wwhy me?

RHOZEE: Because I need to stay here and see what delightful insights of our cloaking menace John managed to uncover during his trip.

ERIDAN: fair enough, i guess.

ERIDAN: just dont expect me to do this wwithout complainin

RHOZEE: So noted. Now shoo, you!

**> JANE: REACT.**

You guess that Roxy's HYPOTHETICAL WARNING of WRAITHS was less hypothetical than even ROXY THOUGHT. You MESSAGE EVERYONE in the TEAM MEMO.

GG: I just electrocuted a gasseous mass of some kind- it seemed to ignite and self destruct from the attack.

AA: You made a shock staff?

GG: I made one of each, shock was just what I had on hand when it showed up.

GT: Good to know that if we get attacked by that sort of thing they're vulnerable to lightning at least.

AA: Most things are, jake.

GG: Anyways, Ellie smelled it when it arrived.

GG: If they follow us into the session, at least we should have some warning if the monsters start growling at thing air!

**> DIRK: Connect already.**

You DID THAT when Roxy told you to- timing was key, she said, and the TIME WAS NOW. Is? Was? Doesn't matter.

You've set up YUUI's place and are waiting now to see if Roxy's plan WORKS.

Speak of the girl, she messages the MEMO.

TG: EVeryone, anchors are UP AN SABLE!

TG: GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO~!!!!!!!

**> JANE + JAKE + YUUI: Open CRUXTRUDERS and PROTOTYPE.**

The kids pry open the CRUXTRUDERS upon Roxy's SIGNAL. Three FLASHY ORBS emerge from the TUBES and the kids throw in their PROTOTYPING OPTIONS.

Jane throws in TWO BANTAM GUARS- filling in BOTH prototyping slots with the SAME DATA.

Jake throws in a PLUSH RABBIT from a MOVIE he worked on as a kid- something about TIME TRAVELING FUTURE HUMANS that he doesn't even remember the name of right. (Whimsy? Nimsy? Something like that.)

Yuui throws in a CARDBOARD BOX full of THROW PILLOWS.

**> ELISESPRITE: Wander about. **

You look up at the DERSITE PROTOTYPING TOWERS as they GLOW and PREPARE for data reception.

**> JOHN WHO JUST GOT ZAPPED BY JANE: Have the TROLLS GOD TIERED yet?**

...That particular John is too busy suffering from an ACUTE ELECTROCUTION to answer the question, so RHOZEE will answer it instead.

SHE is God Tiered, SEER OF LIGHT, as are MEENAH, THIEF OF LIFE, and KANAYA, SYLPH OF SPACE.

Nobody else managed it before the PROTOTYPED MONSTER destroyed the QUEST BEDS on the various planets and SOMETHING removed most of the QUEST CRYPTS from the MOONS of PROSPIT AND DERSE. They were very clearly removed by someone- Rhozee suspects a FUTURE JOHN is behind it- because all were missing except for ARADIA'S and ARANEA'S QUEST SLABs- that is. Those too were left behind BROKEN, within their respective MOONS, matching the DESTRUCTION PATTERN of the BROKEN SLABS on the planets.

**> ERIDAN: Notice sudden decrease in GRIST.**

While you're going to ALCHEMIZE the stuff Rhozee requested, you notice your GRIST SUPPLY taking a suddenly SHARP NOSE DIVE TOWARDS ZERO.

ERIDAN: GUYS! WWE'VVE GOT A PROBLEM!!

ARANEA: Yes yes, Erid8n, what is it?

KARKAT: THIS HAD BETTER NOT BE BECAUSE YOU CAN'T REMEMBER THE CODE FOR A CURE SHOCK POTION.

ERIDAN: someone's stealin' our grist!!

MEENAH: water u talkin aboat?

ERIDAN: LOOK! LOOK AT THE METER THAT I AM POINTING AT!

ARANEA: What the Flying F8ck.

KARKAT: WHO THE HELL IS ALCHEMIZING STUFF RIGHT NOW? I WANT A STATUS CHECK *IMMEDIATELY!*

ARANEA: I'll go check.

MEENAH: wut if it aint one of us tho?

MEENAH: wut if it's like...

MEENAH: someone eelse is alchemizing somefin eelsewhere in the session?

ERIDAN: yer royal fishyness, dont take this the wwrong wway

ERIDAN: but wwho the hell wwould be alchemizing wwith THIS MUCH GRIST??

KARKAT: ERIDAN HAS A POINT, MUCH AS I LOATHE TO ADMIT IT.

KARKAT: THAT IS AN ABSURD AMOUNT OF GRIST WHOEVER-IT-IS IS DEALING WITH.

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK COULD BE SO BIG THAT THEY NEED THIS MUCH?

MEENAH: someone makin a whale, id guess.

ARANEA: I just did a round sweep check of everyone, even our more quiet members.

ARANEA: Nobody is 8lchemizing *anything* right now.

ARANEA: It's not us that's causing this.

KARKAT: ARANEA, MAY I QUOTE YOU?

ARANEA: Sure, Karkat. I'll even let you do it on the h8use for once.

KARKAT: WHAT THE FLYING FUCK!?!

KARKAT: JUST.

KARKAT: WHAT.

KARKAT: THE.

KARKAT: FLYING.

KARKAT: FUCK.

ARANEA: Well said!

MEENAH: secondin' dat, nubby. totally secondin that.

ERIDAN: sooo... should i evven try to make wwhat rhozee asked me to make?

KARKAT: DO IT BEFORE WE RUN ENTIRELY OUT OF GRIST, YES.

KARKAT: I'M GOING TO HOLD A TEAM MEETING IN A MOMENT, BUT HERE'S A SPOILER ALERT:

KARKAT: WE'RE GOING TO NEED TO ALCHEMIZE EVERYTHING WE CAN CONCEIVABLY NEED FOR THE IMMEDIATE FUTURE BEFORE WE ACTUALLY *DO* RUN OUT OF GRIST.

KARKAT: SO SNEAK IN WHATEVER YOU THINK YOU MIGHT NEED FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS WHILE YOU'RE DOING RHOZEE'S ALCHEMY WORK FOR HER.

ERIDAN: aye aye, captain!

**> KIDS: ENTER.**

ENTRY ITEMS are alchemized and GENERATED.

Jane receives a PUMPKIN with an CRUXITE AXE lying next to it. The implications OBVIOUS.

Yuui receives a CRUXITE SKULL, which seems to have a JAW on it that should be moved.

Jake receives a stone platform that releases a CRUXITE DIAMOND-- an Anchor Pinion from ESO- It pops open as expected, revealing a glowing CENTRAL ORB inside.

GG: I think I'm supposed to chop the pumpkin in half with the axe.

AA: I want to open the jaw of this skull, just to see what happens.

GG: Jake? What about yours?

GG: Jake???

GT: GUYS. PROBLEM.

TG: wut?

GT: I wasn't sure what I got, but it looked danged familiar, so I googled and...

GT: I have a FUCKING ANCHOR RELEASE PINION.

AA: Of course, jake gets the item that could undo our plan, and nearly screwed everything over because he almost didn't recognize it.

TG: fuuuukkkk

TG: damn u skaia and ur trixksy anti cheatin hax.

GG: What do we do now?

TT: Jake enters last.

GT: Why do I do that?

GT: I'm the middle of the player chain!!

TT: If you enter moments after Yuui and Jane do, you're delaying the anchor breaking by as long as possible.

TT: You need to pull the pinion anyways to enter so it's a damned if we do and damned if we don't.

GG: I suppose that could work.

AA: If this screws us over, then...

AA: I don't know what to say.

AA: Jake, don't screw this up.

GT: Thanks for the vote of confidence, Yuui.

With Dirk and Roxy timing the different entries, they count down from five.

On Three, Roxy has Jane and Yuui activate their entry items. On One, Dirk has Jake activate the release pinion,

**> SOMETHING: Go horribly wrong.**

Two planets appear in the MEDIUM simultaneously, tearing open a RIFT in SPACE where a hypothetical SIXTH planet could fit. 

A Moment later, the DARK ANCHOR CHAINS all BREAK, and the rings SHUT DOWN, Neither EARTH, nor the FIFTH PLANET emerge into the game.

That is when, with a terrifying FINALITY, the MEMO BOARD PINGS with dreadful news.

\- genuineTakeoffeset [GT] LOST CONNECTION! -

TT: Jake?

GG: oh no ohno ohgodno

TG: jakey nooooo!!!

AA: I'll try to message him privately!

**> ELISESPRITE: Observe**

Despite the FIFTH PLANET failing to appear, its PROTOTYPING DATA reaches the SPIRE on DERSE. 

You look towards the RIFT IN SPACE caused by this failed attempt at an entry, and observe that it REMAINS INTACT.

The PAGE is missing- yet not all HOPE is lost.

You observe as the MULTITUDE of PROTOTYPING DATA reaches the BATTLEFIELD and transforms it into its FINAL STATE. And yet, this victory is HOLLOW. There is NO SPACE PLAYER for this session.

They cannot make a GENESIS FROG. 

**> ELISESPRITE: Go HUNTING.**

You smell something SIMILAR TO YOU, yet different. You INVESTIGATE, trailing the SCENT towards a METEOR, far out in the VEIL, and on it... you find... By You, you find...!!

What you find is MOST ODD. 

It's the TWO QUEENS, both sharing the DOMINATING APPEARANCE of YOUR FORMER TERRIFYING VISAGE. Neither seem heavily MODIFIED by the additional PROTOTYPING KERNELS.

What are these two doing here, you wonder?

Then, they start fighting- clawing, biting, scratching. At first you think it might be your species' MATING DANCE forced onto these two, but that is brushed away the moment the WHITE QUEEN draws blood. Both hesitate, then the FIGHT resumes, with both trying their DAMNEDEST to kill the other.

You decide to JOIN THE FIGHT, and leap in to assert your dominance.

**> TROLLS: Turn stuff into GRIST.**

Turn WHAT stuff into HOW NOW??? What? Did you think they had a GRIST WIDGIT or something?? Besides there's not much stuff in this METEOR that they could BREAK DOWN anyways.

**> ERIDAN: Try to ALCHEMIZE, QUICKLY!**

In addition to RHOZEE's Supplies, you whip up a batch of FRESH DISPOSABLE CAPES- they come 12 to a single unit of BUILD GRIST! It feels like cheating, but they're pretty poor quality capes despite how good they look. You'll never know when you'll need NEW CAPES in this game, or when you'll have to SACRIFICE ONE for the GREATER GOOD. Plus, when they inevitbly GET DESTROYED, Kanaya can turn the remains into SCARVES! It's a WIN WIN and nobody is angry!

**> YUUI: PESTER JAKE.**

-apocalypseAvoidance [AA] Began Pestering genuineTakeoffset [GT] @ ??:??-

AA: Jake?

AA: Jake are you there?

AA: Jake, come in jake.

-genuineTakeoffset [GT] is offline!-

AA: Fine, ill try your other accounts.

-apocalypseAvoidance [AA] Began Pestering genuineTakeonset [GT] @ ??:??-

AA: Jake?

-genuineTakeonset [GT] is offline!-

-apocalypseAvoidance [AA] Began Pestering galavantingTerrors [GT] @ ??:??-

AA: Jake??

-galavantingTerrors [GT] is offline!-

-apocalypseAvoidance [AA] Began Pestering geTsmart [GT] @ ??:??-

AA: Last resort account, i know you never use this one anymore but i have to try

-geTsmart [GT] is offline!-

AA: Damn it. 


	31. ACT 4: The Attack of the Formatting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Pesterlogs. Yay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Mentions of offscreen carnage and brief descriptions of horrible violence.  
> Grief & Mourning.  
> Sprite Murder.

**> JAKE: Be alive.**

Jake Harley, alive or dead, cannot be found at this time. He is in transit to his destination.

**> TROLLS: Treat JOHN.**

John is treated for the ELECTRICAL SHOCK by way of POTION. He complains that the potion tastes like RASPBERRIES. Aradia wraps an ICE PACK against his head to ease away the pain of his previous head-bashing against the floor.

**> JOHN: Wake up.**

??? You're making an awful lot of assumptions lately about the situation. At what point did you think John had fallen asleep and/or passed out?

Did the narration ever say JOHN HAS PASSED OUT? Not that I can recall. 

Some readers here seem DETERMIBOUND towards wasting the precious commodity that is reader commands. 

**> EVERYONE: Take stock of CURRENT SITUATIONS.**

You are now ROXY LALONDE, first up on this ROLLER COASTER of TAKING STOCK.

Yuui has just messaged you that JAKE is definitely OFFLINE on everything and...

What have you done??

Your plan to SAVE THE EARTH has resulted in both it and JAKE disappearing!!

You've brought this on YOURSELF. Your desire to start the game and then BE THE HERO that put everything RIGHT again after it all went so horribly wrong in the first place.

...You aren't quite sure what to make of this.

**> Be Jane**

You are now JANE EGBERT and.... you can't. You lack the emotional ability to CAN anything right now.

**> Be Dirk**

You're now DIRK STRIDER and you're praying for every miracle that's failed to manifest that Jake is okay.

If he's lucky, maybe he found Callie?

**> Be Callie**

You're now CALLIE LEIJON. It's been a while hasn't it?

You and SOLLUX are trying to track down the UNAUTHORIZED GRIST TRANSFER that nearly wiped out all of your grist reserves. As the MUSE OF SPACE, you felt it your DUTY to help Sollux with his EXTRA-DIMENSIONAL SEARCHING.

You can't help but to sneak glances over at John and Aradia, though. Gosh, those two seem to actually get along in this version of reality. You wonder if it's because they've both spent AN UNKNOWN AMOUNT OF TIME traveling across VAST DISTANCES of VOID-SPACE visiting with SO MANY PEOPLE who likely would never see either of them again.

Aradia seems to remember the MOST, out of all of you Trolls. Not that you're complaining- what FEW MEMORIES that aren't of your ONCE-UPON-ANOTHER-WORLD FRIENDS are VERY TERRIFYING. 

You can't imagine what spending an eternity alone could be like when constantly moving forwards- you don't want to contemplate the same while STANDING STILL.

RHOZEE has a theory, though, after hearing from John about what SHOCKED HIM so badly. (You try not to laugh at the unintentional pun.) She thinks that when You and Sollux track down the GRIST TRANSFERS, it will lead back to the ALTERNATE HUMAN SESSION. 

You're hopeful for that. You want to see EVERYONE again.

**> Be Jade**

You're now JADE EGBERT.

_Woof. Woof. Bark. BOW WOW._

You're a dog/wolf/were-girl DEMIGOD. You've got EARS AND A TAIL that are distinctly CANINE. You also have A TON MORE FUR than you had before, and your HAIR has turned from JET BLACK to an EARTHY BROWN. That's the one thing you're annoyed with. You LIKED your JET BLACK HAIR. And now it's BROWN. The REST of your FUR is also BROWN. Why couldn't it have been a different color like GREY or WHITE, like BEC'S FUR??

And speaking of BEC, you... Well, you visited Dave's Bro, and

According to him, DAVE did some TIME TRAVELING, got some ECTO SLIME of BECQUEREL from SOMEWHERE and then MADE A CLONE of him.

You don't know when he had the time to do any of this, but Dave's Bro gives you a REBORN BECQUEREL PUPPY. You don't want to call him BEC, though. Because, even if this doggy was CLONED from your BEC, there are some CLEAR DIFFERENCES. Like GENDER. Bec was a boy dog, this new puppy is a GIRL DOG.

You think you'll name her... RACHEL.

You still wish Dave would have MENTIONED THIS SOONER or maybe even ASKED FIRST because now your insides are all TWISTY and you don't know what you're supposed to even be FEELING. Damn it, Dave. You just don't spring something like this on a girl while she's still in mourning. 

...You suddenly remember your FAIRY ODD MOTHER granting you a wish for a RESURRECTED BECQUEREL.

Damn it, you brought this on yourself, didn't you? That's what you get for making wishes in DREAMS.

**> Be Dave**

DAMN IT. When did THAT time loop happen???

Now you've got to find JOHN, ask him to WARP YOU BACK so you can do ALL OF THAT just to make a puppy that Jade seems REALLY CONFLICTED ABOUT. DAMN IT. FREAKING. JUST.

_**WAY TO GO, TIME TRAVEL.** _

_**WAY.** _

_**TO.** _

_**GO.** _

You send a few death glares at your BRO for not mentioning this SOONER. Really, dude? What's up with that?? He just gives you a look like he EXPECTED you to act this way.

**> Be Rezi**

You're REZI HARLEY again. 

You don't have any strong emotions about anything right now except for....

You kinda just want to go to bed and forget today even happened.

**> Be Argo**

We wrap up this TOUR OF REACTIONS to CURRENT EVENTS by being ARGO LALONDE once more, and the narrator is so tired with formatting that they don't even bother rewriting the prose here from second person to third.

You're staying WAY THE FUCK out of the kitchen while FOOD IS COOKING. You don't want to SET ANYTHING ON FIRE again.

You're feeling rather... content, for the moment. SURE, the last SEVERAL HOURS of your BIRTHDAY have gone to shit, but you're here, with your COUSIN. Sure, your MOTHER is dead, and so is JADE'S DAD... but you're both here for each other. Having DAVE and his BRO here is nice too, but... You'd rather just be here with your COUSIN. 

Maybe later you'll hold a FUNERAL, but for now... for now today is your BIRTHDAY, and you're going to try to be as happy as you can be until the ADRENALINE RUSH fades.

**> VOID RESIDENTS: Have an awesome Barbecue**

DIRK STRIDER'S cooking is as AWESOME as it gets. What FUN is had. 

Rezi assures everyone that JOHN will arrive in a few hours to MOVE EVERYTHING elsewhere, but is being CAGEY about where that "Elsewhere" is. Oh well. For now, everyone just ENJOYS THE FOOD.

**> TROLLS: Do NOT waste the rest of your grist on USELESS JUNK**

ERIDAN: CAPES ARE NOT USELESS JUNK!!

KANAYA: Are You Expecting To Get Into Fights Here On The Meteor

KANAYA: ?

ERIDAN: im just preparin for wwhen wwe havve to go out

ERIDAN: besides it wwasnt that much of a wwaste of grist...

KANAYA: Yes

KANAYA: Well

KANAYA: Do Not Do It Again

ERIDAN: havve i gone anywwhere near the alchemiter since i made my neww capes??

KANAYA: No

ERIDAN: WWELL THERE YOU HAVVE IT!!

TAVROS: uHH, HEY, GUYS,

TAVROS: cHECK OUT WHAT I JUST, uMM, ALCHEMIZED

KARKAT: FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING THAT IS PURE IN THE WORLD WHY DID YOU MAKE A FUCKING REMOTE CONTROLLED MECHA VERSION OF FIDUSPAWN LEGENDARY BEAST LAVA MOUTH!?

TAVROS: ,,,,bECAUSE IT, uHHHH,,,, wAS CHEAP???

KARKAT: HOW. CHEAP.

TAVROS: ,,,38 s-sHALE ,,,,aaaaanNND, UM, 42 quARTZ?

KARKAT: THIRTY EIGHT--!!?!?!

ERIDAN: is kar okay? he looks kinda like hes havin a chokin fit

KANAYA: If He Doesn't Stop In Another Ten Seconds I Will Have To-

KARKAT: OKAY. FINE.

KANAYA: Never Mind

KARKAT: THAT'S... COOL.

ERIDAN: wwhat.

KARKAT: HOW-FUCKING-EVER!!

KANAYA: This Should Be Good

KARKAT: I FULLY EXPECT YOU TO PILOT THIS LAVA SPEWING FUCKER INTO BATTLE LIKE THE DRAGON-LIKE STEED IT PRETENDS TO BE!!!

KARKAT: OTHERWISE, I'M TOSSING IT INTO THE RECYCLE BIN TO GET OUR GRIST BACK.

TAVROS: ,,,,,,,,,uuuuuhhHHHHHH,,,,,eXCUSE ME,

TAVROS: ,,,,i, uHHH, THINK I LEFT THE STOVE ON....

ERIDAN: you wwere right, kan

ERIDAN: that wwas good!

KANAYA: I Do Not Think We Have A Stove Anywhere On This Meteor

ERIDAN: you wwould be right about that one

**> ELLIESPRITE: Revel in your victory over the (now-deceased) royalty**

Unfortunately the only one who was KILLED was the WHITE QUEEN. The BLACK QUEEN ended up getting PROTOTYPED INTO ELLISESPRITE, RING AND ALL. 

This created a strange PROTOTYPING RECURSION that triggered a SPRITESPLOSION- hurtling the WHITE QUEEN'S RING like a ROCKET into the vast beyond where- Oh, hey, it landed on Propsit, what are the odds.

**> PM: What was that?**

You look down at the ground. Something ROUNDISH and GLOWING landed somewhere nearby.

Predictably, you go investigate.

It looks to be... My god, it looks to be a PROTOTYPING RING!!

You....! You should probably throw this into the nearest volcano IMMEDIATELY!!

...Except, wait, are there any volcanoes? Did either of the TWO NEW LANDS have the FORGE??

**> JACK: Figure out that the QUEEN is GONE.**

You SAW the EXPLOSION. It was in THE VEIL, after all. Only one thing could cause that kind of explosion- a PROTOTYPING RECURSION. 

Somewhere, a QUEEN is dead, and you're hoping that it's BOTH OF THEM.

You send the DROLL to recruit a SHIP BUILDER and build an ESCAPALIZER to test and see if the QUEEN is really gone or not.

If he can get away with building one, you'll commission him with DERSE'S ENTIRE TREASURY to evacuate the MOON's Population.

**> REZI: Take a NAP.**

You're TRYING, but you just keep switching between your two SELVES. ARGH, maybe you should have GOD TIERED. How the hell do you put both of yourselves to sleep again? The last time that happened it was because some FREAKY CAT hit you over the head with MAGIC POWERS. Who knows how much force was involved.

**> EXILED CARAPCIANS: Status update.**

Much like JAKE HARLEY, the EXILED CARAPACIANS cannot be located at this time.

**> YUUI: Check Sburb Interface.**

Your CONNECTION just jumped to JANE from JAKE on the moment of ENTRY. It's like even SBURB can't locate your former Co-Star.

**> YUUI: SECOND TIER PROTOTYPE.**

Your BOXPLUSHSPRITE is a little underwhelming, admittedly. 

You go to the kitchen, grab a FORTUNE COOKIE left over from last night's CHINESE TAKE OUT, and throw it into the SPRITE.

Your end result is the BOXED FORTUNE COOKIES SPRITE, except with some esoteric lack of spacing that you don't care to figure out right now. You'll just abbreviate it BFCSPRITE for now. 

...You might not have thought this through. The Sprite is able to talk now, but it comes through LAYERS of PLUSH PILLOW FILLER, CARDBOARD WRAPPING, and CRYPTIC RIDDLES.

**> JANE: Converse with the TWO HEADED GUARSPRITE**

JANE: Hi!

GUARSPRITE(H1): bwak!

JANE: ...

GUARSPRITE(H2): bwak bwak bwak!

JANE: is that all you do?

GUARSPRITE(H1): BWAAAAAKKKK!!!

JANE: ...

GUARSPRITE(H2): bwak bwak bwak!

JANE: Well, this was a FANTASTIC idea, wasn't it, Ellie?

GUARSPRITE(H1): bwak bwak! BWA BWAAAAKKK!

JANE: First this, now Jake.

JANE: We really screwed up this plan, didn't we?

GUARSPRITE(H2): BA-BWWAAA-BWAAAAAKKKK!!!

JANE: SHUT UP YOU!!!!

You DEEP FRY THE TWO HEADED GUARSPRITE with your LIGHTNING STAFF. It predictably FLOPS to the ground in a LIFELESS HEAP.

Damned Bantam Guars never did have much HP on them, and even as a SPRITE, you're not surprised by this less-than-dramatic FLOP.

You throw the SPRITE CORPSE into Ellie's CURRENTLY EMPTY PADDOCK just in case the thing decides to EXPLODE. Which it does. About three minutes later, while you're well into a CRYING FIT because HOW could something so cute be so annoyingly useless and that's ONTOP of Jake vanishing and-and-aannnnnd.  
  
Jane is unable to be commanded at this moment.

**> ELLIE: Be Adorable, yet also melancholy at the loss of glue-boy**

You can tell that JANE is upset by something, so you NUZZLE her and give her a few LICKS until she starts to giggle.

You feel sad, a little, at the loss of someone whose name you sort-of remember as being tied to a scent DIRK had you cheer up once. But you didn't know him, not as well as JANE and DIRK did. 

You put all of your emotional energy into CHEERING JANE UP!

**> CD: Get the SHIP BUILDER.**

You find him drinking away his SORROWS in a DERSITE BAR. 

The SHIP BUILDER, despite being great at building ships, was also PRETTY DECENT at building TRANSPORTALIZERS- not the best, mind you. That's why he's the SHIP BUILDER, but time is DEAD CARAPACIANS, and the PREVIOUS BEST TRANSPORTALIZER MAKER died with the DIGNITARY.

So yeah. THIS GUY holds the future of DERSE in his hands, everybody.

You SLAP the Drink out of his hands and tell him he has a JOB TO DO!!!

He glares at you for this RUDE INTERUPTION, but, alas, there is nothing he can do. You AUSPITIZE THE SITUATION too well.

**> REZI: Try ALCHEMIZING a TRANQUILIZER.**

You decide to do that, find a COZY SPOT in your BEDROOM, and then DOUSE BOTH SELVES into slumber.

**> (Past? Present? Future?) CALLIE: Spend spare time convincing DAVE to make a clone of BECQUEREL for JADE**

At no point in the timeline have you ever considered doing such a thing except for right very now, and it seems like a VERY STUPID IDEA to force that onto Jade while she's mourning.

**> SOLLUX + CALLIE: Track GRIST THEFT.**

Sollux gives out a VICTORY CRY!

SOLLUX: HAAAH! 2UCK IIT, 2BURB ANTII-CHEAT CODE2!!

SOLLUX: becau2e ii am the TRACKIING MASTER!!

CALLIE: i take it this means yoU've foUnd the soUrce of oUr grist troUbles?

SOLLUX: damn 2traiight

CALLIE: and??

SOLLUX: take a look for your2elf, and behold our grii2t thiief.

CALLIE: :O it's roxy!

CALLIE: it is her!

CALLIE: and... and JANE! and some other girl i don't recognise??

CALLIE: where's jake??

CALLIE: JOHN! ARADIA! get over here please!

JOHN: yeah? oh! cool, it's jane and roxy!

ARADIA: wh0 is this 0ther girl?

CALLIE: i was hoping yoU might have some idea, john.

SOLLUX: can ii go me22 wiith the alchiimeter now before TV use2 up all our grii2t?

ARADIA: sure, s0llux.

SOLLUX: 2weet!

JOHN: mmmrrh, she looks familiar?

CALLIE: i was thinking the same thing,

CALLIE: her face is very similar to aradia's, if she were hUman.

ARADIA: 0h! yes! i think i see that.

ARADIA: she's very... very...

ARADIA: RH0ZEE! c0uld y0u- 0h, there y0u are.

RHOZEE: I was already on my way when Callie called the first time.

RHOZEE: Oh, my! Is that little miss Damara in human form?

ARADIA: that's what i was g0ing t0 ask.

RHOZEE: I remember her walking through a dream bubble once.

RHOZEE: Very odd girl, but not to be unexpected given You Know Who's Influence.

CALLIE: you mean my former brother?

RHOZEE: Yes, him.

RHOZEE: I wonder what she's doing as a part of their circle of players?

CALLIE: we couldn't find jake.

ARADIA: maybe she's replacing him?

JOHN: maybe.

JOHN: something doesn't quite sit right with that though.

JOHN: weird, right?

RHOZEE: Not really.

ARADIA: i feel like s0mething is 0ff as well, j0hn.

ARADIA: but i can't quite place it myself.

CALLIE: john, do yoU think a fUtUre yoU coUld investigate?

JOHN: if i get a chance to, yeah, sure.

JOHN: rose?

RHOZEE: Your Recommended Entry Passcode is....

RHOZEE: Oh, that's funny.

ARADIA: that's a funny passc0de, rh0zee.

RHOZEE: That's not the passcode.

RHOZEE: I can't generate one.

RHOZEE: Not right now, anyways.

RHOZEE: My powers are coming up with a blank spot regarding this new session. I don't have enough info on it.

RHOZEE: We'll need to observe it first, I think.

CALLIE: that makes sense, if its a bit frUstrating.

CALLIE: ...hey, coUld we at least pester them?

RHOZEE: If Trollian allows, I can't see why not.

**> PM: Pick up the RING.**

You pick up the ring, and examine it closely. It seems scuffed up by SOOT- perhaps it was caught in an explosion of some kind?

Its FOUR ORBS gleam, however, without damage. You hold it up to the sky and center the ring over SKAIA. The four Orbs rest in the gaps between the FOUR LANDS, and it almost looks... WHOLE.

Then the ring slips from your grip, and hits you in the EYE, one of the ORBS pointing down.

OW!!!

**> ROXY + JANE + YUUI: Examine new planets' terrain and Titles**

Alongside the Land of SUNS and SOIL, reside now the lands, in order, of...

VEILS and SHADE. A world of shadow casting CLOTHS the sizes of WHOLE BUILDINGS- floating along in an UNSEEN BREEZE, and casting a LONG SHADOW over the world's environment. The SOIL lays WET, FERTILE, yet unable to GROW anything for lack of any LIGHT. Oh, if only there were some spare SUNLIGHT to go around.

At the tallest peek, pushing through the VEILS, is a GREEN BLOCK MADE MANSION. It is large, and provides a GRAND BASE for FUTURE UPWARDS EXPANSION, though no-one is focusing on that at the moment.

HOOPS and CANYONS. A wonderful, vast land, full of HILLS and VALLEYS covered in GRASS- but it's most shocking and startling feature are the MASSIVE CANYONS that carve INTRICATE SHAPES in the environment. These are not natural in appearance, that much is clear. At the ENDS of each canyon are GIANT, GOLDEN RINGS, which DIG into the landscape. The titular HOOPS.

Center at this land, in the middle of the planets ONLY BODY OF WATER, lays an ENTIRE ISLAND- Isla Nublar, somehow having been pulled in its ENTIRETY into the game, likely thanks to the DARK ANCHOR PLAN.

MOUNDS and XENON. It is an interesting world, left without inhabitants, The world is divided into FOUR PARTS by a GIANT TRENCH in the shape of an X. The trench is filled with XENON, which rests at bay, as if one day soon threatening to OVERFLOW. The planet is empty, desolate, and it feels as if it awaits its TRUE OWNER to arrive, though they may never come.

Floating on a STRANGE, GEAR SHAPED RAFT in the MIDDLE of the GIANT X, lays the SKELETAL STRUCTURE of an APARTMENT COMPLEX- at the top of which remains a SINGLE APARTMENT BUILDING- the PENTHOUSE.

**> DIRK'S DAD: Wonder what JANE is so upset about**

No need to wonder, she was crying her eyes out for a few minutes there, even while Ellie was comforting her.

You're pretty sure that something went WRONG. When does anything EVER go right with SBURB?

**> KINGS + MONSTERS: AWAKEN.**

Of COURSE this has to happen, naturally.

It's a BLOOD BATH.

Rivers turn RED, and not in the BIBLICAL WAY.

**> BATTLEFIELD CARAPACIANS: RUN.**

They tried. Oh god did they TRY.

None would make it, there were simply too many monsters prototyped with INDOMINUS D.N.A.

**> FUTURE PI: Examine Sky**

It's BLANK.

That's the only word to DESCRIBE IT.

No matter HOW MUCH YOU STARE AT IT, it doesn't change.

What were you expecting- it to suddenly become A FRUITY RUMPUS RAINBOW FACTORY or something???

**> PM: Pocket RING.**

You shove the ring in a pocket with some small degree of anger. You like shoving things in your pocket when they're small enough to fit- especially when they HIT YOU IN THE EYE and make you MAD. You just hope you don't forget that it's in there and accidentally stick your finger in it by accident.

**> PM: Search for SURVIVORS.**

You start a SEARCH for SURVIVORS. Unfortunately for you, nobody wants to believe you that the WHITE QUEEN is likely DEAD. Not even when you show them the ring.

A FAKE!? How could they call it a FAKE when it's clearly REAL and GLOWING WITH POWER?!

**> WHITE KING: Realize that you can kill more people with the RECKONING.**

Unfortunately, the INDOMINUS CODING makes such logical thinking IMPRACTICAL. The thought does not appeal to the WAR MACHINE INSTINCTS and finds the thought of not PERSONALLY SLAUGHTERING ONE'S ENEMIES to be a DISSERVICE to the very IDEA of MURDER.

Hoskins really did a number in by using that one particular strand of Raptor DNA for Elise. You know the Raptor- The one that ate most of its pack and killed a guy when they tried to put it into the cage and the caretaker was yelling "SHOOT HER" over and over?

Yeah. 

Besides, we've ALREADY ESTABLISHED that there were NO METEORS sent to THIS SESSION'S EARTH that weren't already set off by DIRK. I thought it was pretty obvious at this point that THERE WAS GOING TO BE NO RECKONING HERE. 

**> JOHN: RE-ENTER ALPHA UNIVERSE via RIFT.**

First off, UGH, NO WAY, that was the WORST TRIP THROUGH A RIFT you've ever taken. It felt like the time you put your HAND IN THE WINDOW and had it go EVERYWHERE, except instead of your hand it was your WHOLE EXISTENCE and instead of it being everyhere at once, it was just EVERYWHERE IN A NICELY NON-LINEAR HAPHAZARD TELEPORTATION TYPE THING. 

That is to say, IT WAS UNCONTROLLABLE. There's NO WAY to know for sure if repeating the SAME TRICK will get you to the SAME DESTINATION or not.

**> YUUI: Attempt to CONVERSE with BOXED FORTUNE COOKIES SPRITE.**

BFCSPRITE: ((((you will find family where you least expect it))))

YUUI: What?

BFCSPRITE: ((((beware the delivery of the ninja, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup))))

YUUI: ...You are the worst sprite ever.

BFCSPRITE: ((((do not insult those who plan the future, for they are hard boiled and taste good with mayonayse))))

YUUI: Now you're just trying to make me hungry, aren't you?

BFCSPRITE: ((((does the rooster crow for the sun, or for his breakfast?))))

**> JANE'S DAD: Exist.**

He's on ISLA NUBLAR somewhere, having a DRINK with the owner of a MARTINI BAR.

**> ROXY'S MOM: Exist.**

What a cagey person! She seems to exist somewhere, but CANNOT BE LOCATED. Not in the SAME SENSE as what's going on with the EARTH and JAKE, though. She's just THAT GOOD AT HIDING FROM THE CAMERA.

**> ALPHA DAVE: Exist.**

The BABY DAVE? If he exists, he doesn't go by that name.

Where is the little tyke anyways?

**> YUUI: Have a GUARDIAN.**

Your GUARDIAN is also your AGENT. He was always very HANDS OFF when you weren't doing AN ACTING JOB, and that played to your advantage here. Too busy managing the CAREERES of other ACTORS AND ACTRESSES, sometimes of the VOICE ACTING variety.

He bought you the APARTMENT, and just let you deal with MOVING IN all on your own. You can't imagine what the guy would do if you PULLED HIM AWAY from his job in the FILM INDUSTRY. Probably go mad and try to make his own movies using his own SHITTY CHARACTERS. God, Daniel Scratch could be such a PAIN with those two CHARACTERS. 

You mean, REALLY, who pitches a MOVIE about a NACHO PARTY and intentionally ends the movie HALF WAY THROUGH THE STORY?

Though the story ideas may have been SHITTY, he was pretty good about managing TALENT. 

You don't think you'll miss the guy. Besides, he looked so much like DIRK'S DAD anyways, you have to wonder if they weren't RELATED SOMEHOW. Jane said he SURVIVED ENTRY, so it'll be like you NEVER EVEN LOST YOUR SO CALLED GUARDIAN AND....

And you're not doing a very good job of distracting yourself away from thoughts of JAKE.

**> JAKE: Have a GUARDIAN.**

Of course Jake has a PARENT. One JADE HARLEY- who... oh, right. CANNOT BE LOCATED AT THIS TIME. 

Last she was seen by anyone was at the VACATION HOUSE that Jake attempted to ENTER WITH, by Jake himself!

**> REZI: DREAM.**

You settle into a WARM and FUZZY HAZE as you awaken in the DREAM BUBBLES.

Or, at least, you THINK it's a dream bubble. EVERYTHING HAS THE SAME BLANK BACKGROUND HERE, but you're DEFINITELY NOT IN EITHER OF YOUR FORMER BODIES.

How much of that TRANQUILIZER did you give yourself, anyways??

EHHHH, it doesn't matter.

You FLOAT around aimlessly, without a care in the world.

God, it's been a STRESSFUL DAY, hasn't it? 

**> WHITE KING: Angered by previous COMMAND, SMASH the SCEPTER.**

He Does Such. 

**> WHITE KING: Be DEAD.**

You suddenly remember that the STAFF is what MAINTAINS your PROTOTYPING.

By BREAKING IT, you've TURNED YOURSELF back into the normal KINGLY SELF and--

You hear SEVERAL LOUD CHITTERS AND GROWLS from behind you.

You are SO DEAD.

**> KINGS + MONSTERS: BATTLE ROYAL.**

They do so. 

We do not need to see it, however.

**> SHIP BUILDER: BUILD that SHIP.**

A SHIP just won't do it here. Too many resources you DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO.

**> SHIP BUILDER: BUILD that TRANSPORTALIZER.**

You SUCCESSFULLY BUILD the ESCAPALIZER- a one way TRANSPORTALIZER that should target one of the FOUR PLANETS.

JACK NOIR approves the EVACUATION OF DERSE when the BLACK QUEEN does not intervene in the device's CONSTRUCTION.

**> PM: Prove it.**

You gather a crowd of DISBELIEVERS together, and show them the error of their ways by PUTTING ON THE RING-WAIT WHAT WHY DID YOU DO THAT!? THAT'S A STUPID STUPID---

The PARCEL MISTRESS'S THOUGHTS are quickly washed away by a TIDE OF ANIMAL RAGE.

You are now the PROTOTYPED MONSTER.

You regret NOTHING. 

**> DIRK: Remember creating your FIRST GUARDIAN.**

But you never made one of those?? You remember the trouble with GCAT and wanted nothing to do with it. Besides, you don't think a First Guardian could even exist without the Green Sun, and last time you looked straight out into the FURTHEST RING from the VEIL, the only GREEN THING you could see was a MASSIVE BLACK HOLE, just floating haplessly way way way out in the DISTANCE.

Anyways, can't remember what you never made.

**> TAVROS: Use up all the GRIST.**

You were BANNED from the Alchimeter after you made MECHA GROUDON. (Lava Mouth? Really, Karkat?? It wasn't even a FIDUSPAWN.... It was a POKEMON.)

MEENAH is keeping guard on you since you're pretty sure Karkat ordered her to do it lest the BOTH of you drain the last of the Grist on FRIVOLOUS ITEMS.

**> DINOSUARS: Battle UNDERLINGS.**

On LOHAC... oh, wait, dang, that's the same acronym as LOHAC isn't it? Uh... let's swap the HOOPS AND CAYONS around there, just for the SAKE OF CLARITY. 

On LOCAH, due to the MASSIVE ENTRY SIZE of the ISLAND- no UNDERLINGS spawned on the LAND dare to go near ISLA NUBLAR, mainly for the fact that it is SURROUNDED BY LOTS OF WATER. The DIRECTED TELEPORTATION MACHINERY was not expecting SUCH A LARGE ISLAND to be made, and THAT machinery, which tries to get monsters to the PLAYER'S HOUSE at a HEAD START DISTANCE, keeps dropping UNDERLINGS into the WATER. 

It seems that the CARDBOARD BOX part of YUUI's prototyping has rendered MOST UNDERLINGS unable to SWIM LARGE DISTANCES, or even SMALL DISTANCES, even. That particular box was not very WATER RESISTANT, it seems.

And as for the ones that could FLY? Well... BANTAM GUARS are known as CHICKEN LIZARDS for one simple fact: Their "WINGS" are FEATHERLESS, and MUCH TOO SMALL to FLY. This trait of JANE'S PROTOTYPING has, fortunately for the PARK GOERS, transferred over to any FLYING MONSTERS, rendering them GROUND BOUND... if they too don't land in the water.

The AUTOMATED MACHINERY is not very smart. If there were people in the VEIL to narrow down the range, then sure, they could actually NARROW DOWN THE RANGE to get Underlings on the ISLAND PROPER, but that's not going to happen with the VEIL empty of its CARAPACIAN POPULATION.

**> DERSITES: EVACUATE.**

You are JACK NOIR, and you nod with GRIM APPROVAL as DERSE EVACUATES to the VEIL.

**> BLACK KING: Be VICTORIOUS.**

Though you know not what you've WON, you feel VICTORIOUS.

**> PROSPITIANS: Regret life decisions. **

In the few moments before the PROTOTYPED MONSTER attacks, they do.

**> SOLLUX: Mess with the ALCHEMITER.**

Upon KARKAT'S REQUEST, you install a GRIST ALARM to BEEP LOUDLY when the GRIST LEVELS reach an UNBEARABLY LOW **AMOUNT**.

**> PM: Having wiped out PROSPIT, go somewhere else.**

But where, but where???

You catch sight of DERSE, and a destination is SET.

You use your ENHANCED LEG STRENGTH, and LEAP into the air, letting your FORWARDS MOMENTUM carry you in the direction you want to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Jane's not in a good place right now. 
> 
> Also, PM's transformation was as expected as it was inevitable.


	32. ACT 4: Revenge of the Formatting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly pesterlog stuff. @_@;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Ongoing Evacuation.  
> Existential Crisis.

**> JANE + DIRK + YUUI + ROXY: DISCUSS.**

TT: To Summarize....

TT: So not only did you all prototype useless things in addition to my god-awful idea of trapping Elise in a sprite...

TT: Thus giving us Sprites that either DISAPPEARED, EXPLODED, were MURDERED, or otherwise give NON HELPFUL ADVICE.

TT: Did we begin a plan to make Dark fucking ANCHORS to bring Earth in...

TT: Thus apparently incurring a Grist Cost that Roxy thought she could hax her way through.

TT: Which probably triggered SBURB's anti-cheat coding, causing...

TT: So, not only the plan to bring the earth in FAIL...

TT: Thus losing everything of human civilization beyond Isla Nublar.

TT: We also lost Jake...

TT: Thus ending up wih us missing a Planet AND a player- our dear friend.

TT: And finally, now we've somehow got a fuck-ass huge rift in space where SOME planet SHOULD be....

TT: Is that about the full gist of our fucked up situation as it stands?

TT: Does anyone disagree?

TT: ....

TT: No?

TT: Okay. So someone tell me why I agreed to play this game, again?

TT: I could have sworn someone put me first in line otherwise everyone else wouldn't play.

TG: wasnt me

AA: Nor i.

GG: Jake and Me, sadly.

TT: And Jake's the one missing out of all of us because he got the fucking anchor pinion.

TT: Because he was apprently the only one NOT to cheat the system and alchemize gear through a Hacked Alchemiter??

TT: How is that fair?

TG: it isnt

TG: this is all my fauly i shpuld be the one missing not jake and

GG: Roxy, don't blame yourself.

GG: I'm the one who attacked a wraith pre-entry.

GG: If anyone is to blame for this, it's me.

AA: I am dubious about any wraiths.

AA: For starters, the phenomenon you described sounds familiar in a way i cannot place.

TG: yea kinda all zappy and blue and flashy

TG: wait.

TG: blu and zappy and flashythats

TG: MAYBE IT EAS JOHNMNM?

TG: *john

GG: Oh no.

GG: It probably was!

GG: What was I thinking!?

TT: Wasn't John the guy who got 'unhinged'?

TG: unstuck, dirk

TG: unstuck is the word

TT: Right, that.

TT: Wouldn't that mean someone like him would be left behind if the multiverse got reset, not really being a part of it?

TG: OMG

TG: yeah

GG: That was what I was just thinking just now.

GG: He probably still has the infuriating ability to turn into wind at a whim and-

GG: Oh nooooo

GG: I fried my PopPop with lightning!

AA: ...oh my!

TT: ...

TG: ...janey

GG: I KNOW! I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON!!!

TG: i wuz gonna say that sounds a lot more silly than u probaly intendd

AA: I thought it sounded incredibly dirty when taken out of context.

TT: ...No comment.

GG: ...Thank you, Dirk.

**> JACK + CD + AR: Meet with NS.**

Try as you might, nobody remembers seeing the SPEAKER on the METEOR after Derse's Population was evacuated.

And since it was a ONE WAY TRIP, there's no immediately obvious way to get back to DERSE to see if they got left behind.

Oh well, they probably weren't anyone of any importance.

**> PM: Arrive**

You arrive at DERSE. 

It is EMPTY.

Wind would skim the voids between the buildings if there were any here. You decide to MAKE SOME with the RING'S POWERS, just for the SOUND OF IT.

Someone remarks that it's a lovely intimidation tatic, and you WHIRL on them.

But nobody is there, the voice laughs as you growl. Just a voice in the Wind.

A Wind which you brought upon the world.

That's when a SWORD comes down at you.

You DODGE, and barely avoid having your RING HAND cut off. You turn to swipe at the attacker but... 

There is nobody there. The voice returns. Nothing but Shadows.

You shut off the wind, and listen. But you hear nothing. No breathing, no walking, nothing beyond the sounds coming from your own body. Your heart starts to race...

You resume the wind, and let their scent breeze into your NOSE. But something... something is strange about this. It is a VOID in the wind, in the SCENTS of the CITY. Blood is EVERYWHERE, and it overwhelms your senses. Nothing is UNIQUE here. 

Your stomach GROWLS, or maybe it is your THROAT.

Either way, you get the feeling that you will be at this for SOME TIME NOW. 

**> KIDS: Consider sending something through the RIFT to investigate.**

TG: so...

TG: wut if we throw a camera thru th rift?

GG: Wouldn't that just send it back to where Earth *was*?

TG: or maybe it could sned us to jake?

TT: I'll work on building something.

TT: NO ALCHEMIZING.

TT: Who knows if Sburb is going to punish us for that beyond what it already did to Jake.

AA: Reasonable.

AA: However i have a better idea.

GG: What's that?

AA: We exile the Black Queen through it instead of through Skaia.

AA: Plus a camera.

AA: That way we'll know if its survivable by organic life or not.

TT: Smart.

TT: But that will require us going to Derse, and confronting miss Murder Queen of the Year.

TT: Not the safest idea when it's the four of us, and it definitely wasn't safe back when it was just me either.

TT: TL;DR: Elise's prototyping screwed the Royalty over majorly and if you wanna exile her, then it's your funeral.

TG: but the underlinks seem to be weaker??

GG: Yes, I've yet to see a single on on the island anywhere, and I've had your Dad hack me into the security feeds, Dirk.

GG: By The Way! He says 'hi, and thanks for not letting me know you were alive sooner, jerkass.'

TT: Is he there, right now?

TT: Standing over your shoulder as you type that?

GG: That was more of a general message he left for me to relay when the time came, actually.

TT: Then tell him 'thanks for not keeping a better eye on elise's cage for me, dumbass. <3'

TT: And be sure to put the Heart in there.

TT: So he knows I know that...

TT: Nevermind, it's meta layers of complex irony between our family relations for years now.

TG: omfg srsly dirky??

GG: ....Maybe I should just invite him to the memo?

AA: Yes, please do.

AA: This is hilarious conversation fodder.

**> BOXEDFORTUNECOOKIESPRITE: Realize that you are the LAST REMAINING SPRITE. Attempt to be more useful in bid to SURVIVE.**

You start to have an EXISTENTIAL CRISIS before you realize that you have the BEST WAY to remain relevant.

You USE YOUR SPRITE POWERS to generate a DINNER PLATE LOADED WITH FORTUNE COOKIES.

You offer them to your player and she just starts eating them without even looking at the papers inside. She actually eats the papers inside the cookies without paying attention and you choke a little at the fact that she isn't choking on them.

Your WITCH OF TIME is a LITTLE BIT SCARY.

You just... generate some more cookies without the papers inside once she finishes the first batch in a surprisingly quick manner. There were only four or five of them on the first plate anyways. You make more this time.

LOTS MORE.

**> JACK: What now?**

NOW? Now you figure out a plan how to keep your PEOPLE SAFE. You're pretty much DEFACTO KING now, even though the KING is probably still on the BATTLEFIELD.

You'd be hoping and praying that he not start the reckoning with you all on the meteor if not for the fact that there have NEVER BEEN any RECKONING COUNTERS anywhere.

**> BLACK KING: What now?**

You find the remains of the WHITE SCEPTER.

It is DESTROYED.

You...

You don't really know what to make of this development.

  
**> JANE + DIRK + YUUI + ROXY: PLAN**

TG: anywayz dirky

TG: if the underlings are weaker then shouldnt the queenz be weaker too?

TT: Maybe.

TT: I doubt it somehow, though.

TT: Elise, in a direct mind meld, would probably beat out anyone sane by virtue of sheer paranoia.

TT: I'd imagine by that fact alone, her DNA would remain dominant in the Prototyping.

TT: Some prototypings are just plain stronger than others.

GG: Maybe we should find John?

AA: Wait

AA: Someone is messaging me??

GG: Same.

TT: What now?

TG: wut th fuk

TG: me too

TT: Why am I the only one not getting messaged?

**> JOHN: Complete retcon-time loops**

You don't have any out-standing ones running right now??

At-least, that you're aware of. You'll ASK AROUND and see if the Trolls have seen anything.

If they don't have anything, then you'll just wait for another FUTURE YOU to appear.

**> CALLIE + RHOZEE + ARADIA + SOLLUX: TROLL the Kids**

\- apocalypseArisen [AA] began Trolling apocalypseAvoidance [AA] -

AA: What the fuck

AA: hell0, damara.

AA: No seriously

AA: What the fuck

AA: One of us has to change handles or colors or

AA: SOMETHING

AA: h0w ab0ut, n0?

AA: And its yuui, not damara

AA: ...Wait.

AA: ahha! are y0u remembering n0w?

AA: Okay no but seriously are you a fan of mine??

AA: Are you on earth somehow?

AA: n0, we are in an0ther game sessi0n like y0u are

AA: and we are--

\- apocalypseArisen [AA] was disconnected from Translinear Memo Server! -

AA: Let me repeat

AA: What the fuck

\- tentacleTherapist [TT] began Trolling temporallyTranslinear [TT] -

TT: Oh god no.

TT: Yuui just messaged me about the Initial Thiefs.

TT: Fuck off if you're not going to change your name.

\- temporallyTranslinear [TT] BLOCKED tentacleTherapist [TT] -

TT: Wait a second...

TT: tentacleTherapist?

TT: Wasn't that...?

\- tentacleTherapist [TT] began Trolling temporallyTranslinear [TT] -

TT: Okay I am not dealing with this.

TT: I am not dealing with another orange texted Strider interrupting me with constant blocks.

TT: What is it with you Orange Texted People and blocking me in our first conversations?

TT: I am pausing our conversation right here and now I can say my piece without you going and interupting.

TT: Yes, we share initials.

TT: No, I am not a thief.

TT: My name is Rhozee Llonde, and in another itteration of reality I was your ecto-slime daughter.

TT: I am presently a Troll in another session that is being harassed by a monster that seems to have been prototyped from YOUR SESSION.

TT: We are currently huddled away in a meteor that is hidden from its scents by a windy boy who survived from that previous itteration of reality.

TT: You may now speak.

TT: Holy FUCK.

TT: How the fucking shit did you type that fucking fast?!

TT: It's right there in the opening narration, middle line or so.

TT: ...Fucking Hell, Rose, I was just about to unblock you.

TT: Oh, sorry. I didn't realize.

TT: I've had to put up with the blocking shenanigans a lot today, you see.

TT: I appear to have fallen back into old habits despite only an hours or so respite from them.

TT: Oh well, my apologies for that.

TT: God, damn it. Stop doing that.

TT: Sorry.

TT: Okay so you're in another universe's session?

TT: I guess that explains why you didn't appear in ours, and why Roxy has a different... mom...

TT: Oh my god. She's not going to message her now out of nowhere is she?!

TT: No, she's not.

TT: She's not with us at present, although that may change in the near future depending on how things go.

TT: We've... lost contact with them actually, for the moment.

TT: John has them all tucked away in the void between voids.

TT: In stasis as it were.

TT: Events conspired to create a green rift in space that caused quite some trouble on both ends.

TT: Ours as well. Also. Again, stop the message spamming. It's kind of annoying.

TT: Sorry.

TT: Also. Oh? How so?

TT: Yeah lemme tell you what the hell kind of clusterfuck we've had to deal with.

\- triple scoops of twin fucking Armageddon ice cream (And YES, this IS WAY past Trollian's name character Limit. Why do you ask?) [TA] began Trolling greenGrapevine [GG] -

GG: How the fuck did you get your name to go on that long for?

GG: And the spaces?????

GG: Is that even allowed???

TA: ii'm the be2t hacker this 2iide of thiing2

TA: 2o iit 2hould be wiith no 2urpri2e that ii a2k you thiis:

TA: are you the one?

GG: Am I the one what?

TA: the one who hacked 2burb'2 code to draiin our griist reserve2?

GG: Oh.

GG: FUCK.

GG: ROXY!!!!!!

GG: Dirk was right, Sburb did just find another way to punish us for that!!

TA: you admiit two 2tealiing our grii2t then?

GG: Roxy needed grist amounts for a plan that we just had no way of getting during the entry phase.

GG: I'm so, so sorry!

TA: iim not lookiing for appolgiies,

TA: iim lookiin for the hacker.

TA: that wa2 2ome ma2terful hackiing.

TA: ii wanna congratulate them.

\- urianianhUntress [UU] began Trolling technoGal [TG] -

TG: could it be?

TG: do i dare to hope?

UU: hello roxy! ^U^

TG: CALLIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

TG: *virtual GLOMPS*

TG: HI HI HI! >U<

UU: hi hi hi! >U<

TG: where have U been U???

UU: i've been a troll :U

TG: U MEAN CALLIE OPHEE IN THA FLESSH?

UU: callie leijon, actually, bUt, yes! i am a troll in the flesh now! ^U^

TG: so...

TG: you dont have to deal with ur bro bro?

UU: he does not exist as a troll, no.

UU: growing up withoUt him, vagUe as my memories of that time are, has been wonderfUl.

TG: YUSSSSSS

TG: callie im jus so HAPPY FOR UUUUUUUUU

TG: this is the BEST POSSIBLE NEWS I COULD GET TODAY

TG: after jake dissapeared i just

TG: I NEED HUGS

UU: and i shall provide them! ^U^

UU: *hUgs*

TG: *is huggled*

TG: wait, why didnt u message us before now?

UU: we only jUst discovered yoUr session so i messaged right now, expecting that i might have done it in yoUr past already bUt it seems i've miscalcUlated TnT

TG: thats alright

TG: temporal causality bullcrap amirite???

UU: yes, i sUppose so.

UU: i feel bad for making yoU worry for so long, though.

TG: dont worry about it, callie

TG: wait

UU: :?

TG: now that i found uuuu

TG: I don't have to use green anymore!

UU: yoU used green Until yoU foUnd me?

TG: ur bro stole it from u, so i stole it from him

TG: i used it so i'd always remember that you were out there somewhere, just waitin 2 be founds!

TG: but now ive found you!

TG: (wewll,. u found me)

TG: so i dont needs that reminder!

TG: I'VE GOT THE REAL GENUINE THANG!! *HUGS!!*

UU: roxy, that's so sweet!

TG: aww, shucks...

TG: shuks... shuks...

TG: AH IDEA!@ IDEAAAA

**> ADULT DAVE: Join MEMO.**

\- turntechGenetics [TG] was invited to MEMO "EVERYONE GET IN HERE!!!" on board "SBURB" -

\- turntechGenetics [TG] joined MEMO -

TG: AND THEN DIRK JUST DOVE OUT OF THE WAY AND! BING! BANG! WALLAWALLA BINGBANG! SHE'S PROTOTYPED!

TG: then he takes the cruxite sword and he siwngs it and--- Oh, hi dirkys daddy

TG: sup

?UU: that sounds like a completely insane entry!

?TT: It is quite interesting, that.

TT: Uh, hey, sup dad?

TG: you dont call you dont write

TG: whats a man to think when his son runs off to another dimension with a homicidal murderous dinosaur?

TG: and egderp dont think i dont see you ghosting around on the userlist.

?EB: oh god it's another dave

TG: not just another dave

TG: the very same dave you knew from argos side of things who somehow got stuck here on this side through time shenanigans

TT: Wait what

?TT: Wait, What??

TG: omfg callie im so confuseled

?UU: me too :O

TG: long story short i hopped in one frog temple and came out another like some fucking game of meta causality hopscotch

TG: except instead of rezi sittin there ready for me to impart the divine meta timeline wisdom down upon her

TG: it was a bunch of carapacians one of whom im pretty sure another me disarmed somehow??

TG: looked like my swordswork anyways

?EB: ugghhhhhh

?EB: what the fuck sburb?

?EB: why couldn't you make a simple time capsule work right for once

TT: I have no idea what's going on right now.

GG: Dirk, just be glad that we have the luxary to be confused.

?AA: yes, let's just enj0y this m0ment while it lasts

AA: Why.

AA: Why must our lives be so chaotic?

AA: My sprite just gave me a fortune cookie that says 'may you live in interesting times.'

AA: THIS IS NOT HELPFUL.

?AA: i like the s0unds 0f this sprite

?AA: i w0uld like t0 meet them

?TT: As would I.

GG: I think I'm getting a headache from all this.

**> NS: Destroy the DERSE TRANSPORTALIZERS to keep PM from following the DERSITES.**

The NIGHTMOTHER'S SPEAKER did that the moment The EVACUATION was complete and they were the last one standing.

**> JACK: Consider contacting the PLAYERS for HELP.**

Maybe?

The PRINCE OF HEART seemed to know how to avoid the PROTOTYPED UNDERLINGS for months, so it's possible...

God, you wish the DIGNITARY WAS HERE, he'd know whether this was a good idea or not.

**> EVERYONE: Discuss current status of the SESSION.**

GG: Wait.

GG: So let me get this straight.

GG: Dirk's dad is a temporal clone duplicate that's DIFFRERENT from the usual meteor-scratch-clone shenanigans?

TG: apparently.

?TT: It seems so.

GG: So what happened to meteor him?

TG: not a fucking clue.

?EB: okay good so we've sorted all that out.

?EB: can we move onto the real issue here?

TG: and what would that be

?EB: what the fuck is going on with the whole invading monster deal?

?TT: After comparing notes with Dirk, I believe the situation can be summarized as follows.

?TT: At some point in their near future, the kids of this session will exile someone wearing a Queen's Ring through some type of rift.

?TT: It may be the one they created upon attempting to enter their Earth, or it may be a new rift opened by way of Scratching their Session, as happened in the previous itteration of reality where we had one 'Bec Noir' somehow transport himself across two sessions in an unknown manner.

?TT: Similarly, this MAY, or may not, directly lead into our, the Trolls, session,

?TT: Said prototyped carapacian will then proceede to wreak havok in our session unchecked while we enter the game one troll at a time.

TG: so our prototypin mistaks are causin you all grief? :(

?UU: don't feel sad, roxy!

?UU: the monster was already he...r...e..

?UU: damn it.

?TT: Speaking of, I do not believe he has any influence upon our current situation, not directly.

?TT: From what John has told us of his and Terezi's experiences with a certain spider troll ghost-

\- arachnidsGambit [?AG] joined memo from ??:?? -

?AG: Not me, I feel I should point out.

?TT: Nicely timed appearance.

?AG: Thank you.

?TT: Continuing on: However, I suspect that someone may be trying to restore his place of power in the current multiverse.

?TT: Vriska Serket seems to have been pushing her mental influence upon various people in our sessions as some form of revenge- or perhaps as a means to finish what she started in the previous version of reality.

?TT: Callie, I have a hunch you might be able to confirm.

?TT: I will message you in a moment once we're done with this memo.

?UU: oh?

\- carcinoGentecist [?CG] joined memo from ??:?? -

?CG: WHY THE FUCK DID NOBODY TELL ME ABOUT THIS MEMO UNTIL SOLLUX TOLD ME JUST NOW?

TG: hey its shouty!

?CG: SHUT UP STRIDER TWO.

?CG: THIS IS A LEGITIMATE GRIEVANCE.

?CG: WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME?

?TT: Best case numbers have you entering just now, as a matter of fact.

?CG: ...RHOZEE, DON'T DO THE EXPOSIT-EY THING ON ME. PLEASE.

?CG: I GOT ENOUGH OF THAT FROM ARANEA BEFORE WE ENTERED.

?AG: I wasn't THAT BAD!

\- cuttlefishCoronater [?CC] joined memo from ??:?? -

?CC: yeah, you were.

GG: Oh no

?CC: oh yea

?CC: i sea u former heiress

TG: ._. why is she here?

?UU: oUr session has qUite the UnUsUal amoUnt of cross-timeline players, roxy.

?EB: that is to say, shit got wrecked and everything got super scrambled.

?CC: psh, relax minnows. i aint here to wreck shit.

?CC: jus here to reign aranea in jus'n case she goes exposity

?CC: gotta let the seer do her job, capiche?

?AG: Your level of trust in me is miles wide, Meenah. ::::|

GG: (why is everything so confusing???)

TG: (no clue janey)

?CG: YOU *DO* REALIZE THAT THE WHISPER QUOTES DO NOTHING IN A CHAT LOG, RIGHT?

AA: I

AA: I am going to leave.

AA: I just

AA: I have no idea what's going on right now.

?AA: please d0nt leave

AA: STOP THAT!!!

\- apocalypseAvoidance [AA] left MEMO! -

?AA: excuse me f0r a m0ment...

\- apocalypseArisen [?AA] left MEMO! -

?EB: *sigh*

TG: LE SIIIIIIGGGHHHHH

GG: I'll see if I can talk with her.

?TT: Now that they've both left I feel we can truely continue on the subject of a certain villains' influence on our sessions.

?UU: yes, that's probably for the best.

?CG: SERIOUSLY? WE'RE DOING THIS NOW??

?TT: There is no better time.

?TT: Especially when it regards meteors and session breaks.

?TT: Yuui/Damara never arrived in the session's earth in the same time frame that this Dave originated from.

TG: wait what seriously

?TT: It's very likely a glitch in causality caused by the presence of an extra child caused neither Dave nor Yuui/Damara to be split by a Scratch.

?TT: That is not to say that they did not end up arriving at different points in history and ended up getting different names, however... We must consider that a possibility as I have not yet managed to observe a fifth meteor in either set.

TG: so my presence here is the odd man out

TG: and yuuis the missing piece where i came from

?TT: Essentially, David, yes, I believe so.

?TT: The simple fact of the matter is that this new session is going to have to Scratch in order to ensure the creation of the session that Dave originates from, that, plus the lack of a Space Player, means that it is going to dead end rather soon.

?TT: It SHOULD be actual proper Scratch proceedure, not the reversed situation that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named made his calling card.

?TT: That said, I am wary of creating another scratch, especially in a session that does not have an obvious Scratch Construct.

?TT: We will have to source it from another session which has one, and...|

?TT: That may cause problems.

?EB: so THAT'S why you told me to tell argo and them not to scratch!

?TT: Yes. I had that suspicion confirmed when you told me when no ectobiology was performed.

?EB: yeah it was kinda... obvious when i thought about it, that a scratch would happen.

?EB: i just wasn't expecting this order of events was all

TG: so we scratch this session with my beat mesa from the next session...

TG: but then we're out two sessions

TG: so where do we go thn?

?UU: oUr session?

?TT: Yes.

?TT: The Queen Ring wearing monster in our session obviously got here somehow from theirs, implying a causality connection of some sort. Beyond the theft of our grist, I mean.

?TT: Thus, we simply follow that connection and move the planets from both failed human sessions into our session.

?CG: ...DID ANYONE ELSE HAVE A HARD TIME FOLLOWING THAT TRAIN OF LOGIC, OR WAS IT JUST ME?

?CG: HOW DID WE GET FROM CALLIE'S BROTHER TO SCRATCHING THE KIDS SESSION AGAIN?

?AG: I thought it was fairly straight forward.

?CC: you would

?TT: The logic is this, Karkat:

?TT: It's very possible that the failed duplication of the time players is a glitch that could free Callie's brother from his prison.

?TT: It's at least an 88% chance of being caused by Vriska in an attempt at getting another shot at Lord English.

?TT: Although how she's rigged events to work this way while being a ghost in the furthest ring... I cannot say.

?CG: WELL THANKS FOR SUMMARIZING THAT, RHOZEE.

?CG: REALLY. THANKS.

?CG: I'M STILL NO LESS CONFUSED AS TO HOW THIS COULD BE A THING THAT IS HAPPENING.

?TT: *Sigh* Let's go over this again, then.

?AG: Maybe I should try this time?

?CC: oh boy, everyporpoise outta tha sea

**> BK: Get bored and leave the BATTLEFIELD.**

The BLACK KING tries the same stunt PM tried, and doesn't even make it to Skaia's cloud layer before gravity pulls him back down.  
He just doesn't have WINGS to clear the gravity well.

He then spends the next SEVERAL HOURS trying to clear it regardless.

**> PM: Go hunting.**

You stalk through DERSE, hunting for the one who TAUNTS YOU.

**> ARADIA: Try to PESTER YUUI.**

\- arisenaNew [AN] began Trolling apocalypseAvoidance [AA] -

AN: wait, yuui,

AN: l00k, i changed my handle name s0

AN: please d0n't bl0ck me

AA: ...Fine. i'll put up with the color sharing as long as the initials are different.

AA: What do you want?

AN: we need t0 talk ab0ut the previ0us versi0n 0f reality

AA: You mean the one where i apparently worked for a demon for two of my lives??

AN: if it helps, y0u did n0t willingly d0 it in 0ne 0f them?

AA: No, that doesn't help.

AA: That still means one version of me worked towards his goals willingly.

AN: which gives y0u a unique insight int0 future events.

AA: How so?

AN: the y0u wh0 did n0t w0rk with him willingly may have 0bserved and learned 0f c0ntingencies left behind in the inevitability that he was defeated.

AA: For what purpose?

AN: in the h0pes 0f 0ne day using them against him.

AA: ...

AA: And what of jake?

AN: y0u tell me.

AN: having been his servant, can y0u remember a rift such as the 0ne that swall0wed him ever f0rming bef0re?

AA: I

AA: I think i was only ever relevant in the alternia section of events.

AA: I do not remember ever traveling to other places or other...

AA: Wait.

AN: there is s0mething, isn't there?

AA: Maybe

AA: I... the part of me that remembers willingly working for him is...

AA: It does not want to share.

AN: then ign0re its will.

AN: y0u are n0t that tr0ll anym0re.

AN: y0u are n0t damara megid0 in any sense 0f the name.

AA: Then why did you call me by that name before??

AN: because i did n0t know your current 0ne.

AA: And you know it NOW??

AN: y0ur friend jane t0ld me when she c0uld n0t get thr0ugh t0 y0u

AA: Jane...?

AN: i did ask f0r it first, th0ught it might help after 0ur last few enc0unters.

AN: while y0ur s0ul may be the same t0 0ne degree or an0ther...

AN: that y0ur very name has changed makes y0u m0re unique than y0u 0nce were.

AN: yuui hirasa, what d0 y0u remember?

AN: ...yuui?

AA: It is a doorway to another dimension.

AA: Not quite the void between sessions like the Furthest Ring, but somewhat similar in its nature.

AA: A place between places, a void between voids, the gaps hidden within gaps hidden within even more gaps.

AA: He wanted access to it as a means of potentially escaping the previous itteration of reality should he finally find it's limitless edge... limiting.

AA: I remember that there was research done on it by the first guardian.

AA: He... yes, there was to be an escape plan should the weapon juju be turned against him.

AA: I don't remember it being finished but it's possible it was worked on outside of my sphere of influence.

AN: s0 it's very p0ssible this current sequence 0f events is a means 0f his to escape bey0nd parad0x space?

AA: ...Yes. it is possible.

AA: But n0t for the him as he was at the end of things.

AA: The plan... it involved breaking the paradox that made him L0rd English in the first place.

AN: what? h0w s0?

AA: By circumventing the creation of the weapon's final form and creating a branch in his personal time line before he would be assaulted by the heroes that would fill it.

AA: But i don't think he planned for the total upheaval of reality like it happened.

AA: The timeline in the universe he was born in might never exist in that exact form after everything that happened.

AN: i see...

AN: yes, that checks 0ut, i think.

AN: unless the branching inv0lved unsticking himself fr0m reality like j0hn...

AN: there is n0 way he sh0uld have been able to survive such a massive upheaval 0f time.

AA: But there's still the possibility

AN: that there is.

AN: we need t0 talk with rh0zee ab0ut this.

**> JOHN: Go inform the other KIDS.**

A FUTURE YOU appears, and directs you to go talk to the OTHER KIDS about events but NOT to move the planets just yet, because he will be taking care of that after you leave.

You flip him off for telling you what to do with your life, and also a bit out of annoyance for the previous hand off where you were SHOCKED HORRIBLY and didn't get to tell your past self about-

You know what, you realize suddenly, that is INCREDIBLY PETY of you. 

Future You wriggles his eyebrows as you make this realization, and says off with you then he bonks you over the head with his hand and ZAP.

Okay, now you're just mad again.

You arrive at LE CHATEAU DE STRIDE ALA CART- that is to say, the STRIDER APARTMENT.

JOHN: DAAAAAVVEEEE!

DAVE: oh god what

JOHN: YOU'VE BEEN TIME CLONED!!!

DAVE: okay more seriously now

DAVE: what??

JOHN: did you jump into a frog temple time capsule?

DAVE: yeah why

JOHN: it wasn't a TIME CAPSULE.

JOHN: well, it was, but it wasn't

JOHN: it was a TIME LINE CLONER, like the freaking defense portals.

DAVE: oh well that suddenly makes some ominous lights it was making make a whole lot more sense.

ARGO: how'd you figure that out?

JOHN: i went through the rift in your session and wound up at another earth where i then proceeded to get electrocuted by my ecto-mom-slash-nann-from-another-world.

JOHN: that is to say, i found roxy's group.

ARGO: oh sweet!

ARGO: not about the electrocution thing that's pretty harsh but still!

DAVE: i get the feeling you also talked to a time cloned me

JOHN: through a MEMO of all things.

DAVE: le gasp how dare he

DAVE: but yeah no id totally do that

DAVE: what's alt me been up to anyways

JOHN: here, he told me to write this down, so i did

DAVE: you wrote a letter based off of a chat log

DAVE: okay this ive gotta see...

DAVE: ...

DAVE: PFT. youve gotta be kidding me

DAVE: bro come check this out

BRO: What's that?

ARGO: i wanna see!!

JADE: mrrh? sorry, i was picking a piece of bone out of my teeth

JADE: did i miss something?

JADE: also, um, hi, john, right?

JOHN: just a dave being rediculous to another dave.

JOHN: ...yeah, hi, jade.

JOHN: still not remembering much?

JADE: a little actually, it's been coming back to me more with cuz helping...

JOHN: cuz?

JADE: argo

JOHN: oh right gotcha

JADE: it's not much but i atleast remember that you were a sort of big part of my life?

JADE: honestly i get the feeling i lived a really sad life before

JADE: more so than now anyways :(

JOHN: yeah, things were kinda shitty back in the old world

BRO: HOLY FUCKING SHIT I AM GOING TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE AND.... And then maybe hug him????

DAVE: I KNOW, RIGHT!? HOW DARE HE SAY THAT!! so totally uncool man...

ARGO: he just pwned you two so badly right now XDD

JADE: ._. what just happened?

JOHN: oh, that, alt dave told me to sign it 'sincerely, david of guy, who's your daddy now?'

JADE: pffft

JADE: that is so dave...

JADE: ...what does it mean, though?

JOHN: okay well see, alt dave went and adopted the meteor clone of his bro as his son, so...

JADE: pffffhahahahahaaaaa WOOFWOOFWOOF!!

JOHN: 0_0

JADE: ._.

JADE: let us never speak of this again

JOHN: 0kay,

JOHN: d0t d0t d0t.

JADE: :| dont you dot dot dot at me john!

JADE: john.

JADE: john, why are you backing away slowly like that with your hands held up like....

JADE: like some kind of anime character????

JOHN: that's actually what that was referencing, ever seen a show called lucky star or did that not make it into your timeline?

JADE: never heard of it, doesn't mean it didnt exist though.

JADE: do you got it on dvd or something??

JOHN: yeah, i do!

ARGO: and off they go, tikki,

TIKKI: mewwww...

ARGO: off to watch some new anime and bond like siblings should be.

ARGO: wait a second...

ARGO: new anime??

ARGO: GUYS! WAIT FOR ME! I'VE GOT A LAPTOP WE CAN WATCH IT ON!

JADE: sweet!!!

JADE: john after this show we've got to show you this one new show from our world if you haven't seen it

JOHN: what's that?

JADE: mi~ra~cu~lous~!

JOHN: oh, that one! rezi mentioned it once or twice,

JOHN: never got the chance to sit down and watch it yet

ARGO: you won't regret it!! BDD

Meanwhile Dave and his Bro continue to yell in increasingly confused tones of voice over the contents of David's letter.

**> BK: Look for a TRANSPORTALIZER or a BATTLESHIP.**

A few hours in the future, You find a LONE TRANSPORTALIZER that still functions.

You TELEPORT TO DERSE.

And there- you see HER.

A PROSPITIAN with the QUEEN"S RING.

You GROWL.

She growls BACK.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot to cover this chapter but honestly I'll just focus on Yuui/Damara here. 
> 
> Much like how Damara in SG:Alt finally goes against her enforced nature as Lord English's Pawn and begins to work against him, this instance of her wishes to have nothing to do with any of Lord English's bidding. I suppose I'm a sucker for characterizing her differently in both of these cases, but really, Yuui is kind of a prototype for how Damara is before she becomes Serara. There's a lot of interesting compare and contrast that I could do here regarding that subject.
> 
> ...But I won't go into it further incase people are reading THIS before they read Stargate Alternia. I don't want to spoil more than I already have. I'll leave the comparing and contrasting to the readers themselves.


	33. ACT 4: Glitter And Gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuui speaks to her Denizen. Jack Noir makes a call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Off screen battle to the death.  
> Ongoing Evacuation.

[ **> {S?} STRIFE** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckNWtmkA2_g)

  
A stand off lasts for as long as it takes a single robed carapacian to flip a coin in the air, and the coin to land on the ground with a shrill...

TING TING.

A bit of light glimmers and glitters off of its golden surface.

And then a fight begins in a wonderfully crafted flash sequence set to the song that I just linked to. One day... one day this will not just be a text adventure with only words to paint the imagination.

The end result is what you can probably predict though. Black King and the NIGHTMOTHER'S SPEAKER both end up killed by the PROTOTYPED MONSTER in rather esoteric ways that I shall leave up to your imaginations for the remainder of time...

Because I literally don't have the energy capacity to write a flash sequence right now.

**> FUTURE JOHN: Move the LANDS.**

At some point in the near future, JOHN pulls the ALPHA KIDS LANDS into the VOID, in preparation for moving them into the TROLL'S SESSION. He does this even as he watches BEAT MESA ascend to Skaia.

But that, that's part of a plan for him to be working on much later in the future, despite it already being done before his eyes.

Speaking of, time to get out of here, BACK TO THE PAST.

**> ALPHA KIDS: Get to work.**

Dirk's CAMERA BOT is constructed, and prepared for BATTLE- well, that is to say, prepared to lull whatever remaining PROTOTYPED CARAPACIAN there is into a RIFT.

Yuui goes to the HEART OF LOMAX to SEEK THE DENIZEN who resides there, seeking the INSTRUMENT OF THE SCRATCH.

Roxy begins SCOUTING the session for the perfect place for John to bring the MESA TO for the Scratch.

And Jane...

Jane and David do their best to appease the confused PARK VISITORS and STAFF who had been brought along for the ride.

**> JOHN + JADE + ARGO: Watch ANIME.**

They watch ALL THE ANIME that could be watched before someone finally realizes that REZI IS MISSING.

Finding her isn't too hard- she's at her home's ATRIUM, both of her OUT COLD.

John sighs, as if this were a thing he expected to some degree.

**> DAVE + BRO: Write a REPLY.**

They write a LONG WINDED REPLY that doubles back on itself MULTIPLE TIMES and is veiled in THICKLY IRONIC STATEMENTS that only make sense after TEN RE-READS.

**> PM: Take the SCEPTER.**

You take the BLACK KING'S SCEPTER and BREAK IT OVER YOUR KNEE with a ROAR OF TRIUMPH.

Your VICTORY is interrupted upon hearing the sound of a BUZZING DRONE.

What's this now? You observe the REMOTE CONTROLLED DRONE with IRE. How DARE it intrude on your MOMENT OF VICTORY.

This DRONE MUST PAY.

**> PM: Make it pay.**

You try to attack THE DRONE, but it just SWOOPS OFF like a BIRD.

You growl, and start chasing it.

**> JACK: Do something.**

You have the DROLL spy on the kids to see what they're doing, and his report is INTERESTING to say the least.

An evacuation, you ask. He says yeah. They're planning some kind of evacuation. Interesting, you say, very interesting. So, what's the plan, the Droll asks. You say, the plan is...

Evacuate from the meteors to one of the more LIVABLE planets, and HITCH HIKE with the kids when they do their 'evacuation.'

**> PARK VISITORS: Riot. **

The visitors are NOT INCLINED TO RIOT upon discovering that they have SURVIVED THE END OF THE WORLD.

While they are not COMPLETELY out of DANGER JUST YET, that is appeased by the offer of A FREE STAY with NO CHARGE at the park's HOTELS for the FORESEEABLE FUTURE.

Nobody wants to riot when their SURVIVAL is practically ENSURED as long as they STAY PUT.  
  
 **> JANE'S DREAM SELF: Do the LIFEY THING.**

Unfortunately, her dream self was SLAIN several months ago, and the corpse CONSUMED by the WHITE QUEEN. There is nothing left to do the LIFEY THING with.

Of course, with the WHITE QUEEN now dead, her corpse may be used as a necromantic RITUAL FOCUS. But there would need to be a WITCH of some kind nearby to do such a task- preferably someone of the LIFE variety.

**> Yuui: Meet with Denizen.**

The DENIZEN HEPHAESTUS stands tall and looking hardly out of place inside a planet's MOLTEN CORE. 

Talking with him is like talking with a THOR-EXPY whose PERSONAL NEEDS can only be met by reuniting him with his FORGE... which is located in ANOTHER SESSION.

To bring him to his forge, he offers you a CHOICE. When the SCRATCH MECHANISM arrives, you are to Scratch it, yes, but with WHAT, that is the true CRUX OF THE MATTER.

Do you also steal ECHIDNA'S QUILLS from another session- or do you use HECATE'S SWORD to perform the action?

Before you answer that question, you ask of him, Who is HECATE?

The DENIZEN OF HEART, you are told in return. The TRUE DENIZEN, not that EARTHWORM who took the PRINCE'S DENIZEN'S SLOT in the LAST INCARNATION OF REALITY, all to fulfill a VAGUELY DESIGNED TIME LOOP.

You tell Hephaestus that you will give him your CHOICE once you've conferred with the others. You REJOIN THE MEMO.

AA: Problem.

AA: Either we steal echidna's quills to match the scratch mechanism or we use hecate's sword.

?TT: Hecate? Who is that?

AA: Heart players denizen.

?TT: Ah, that would explain my lack of knowledge.

?TT: We did not get a Heart player in our group this time.

TT: I thought Yaldabaoth was the Heart Denizen.

TT: He's who I got last time.

AA: Hephaestus said that was a special circumstance to full fill a time loop.

TT: Huh.

TT: So who's Hecate?

GG: Ooh! I know that one!

GG: Hecate is a Greek Goddess, commonly depicted with three separate bodies in ancient statues!

GG: Fun Fact, her Roman name is Trivia, for the fact that her statues were commonly placed at crossroads.

GG: Besides Crossroads: She's most often associated with dogs, magic, entry-ways, necromancy, and sorcery.

TT: I ain't even going to bother trying to figure out how you knew that and just roll with it.

?TT: Crossroads, hm? Sounds very much like a Heart Player Denizen to me.

GG: I had to do a history report for school last year.

GG: Hecate was who I was assigned.

TT: Huh.

GG: Interestingly, I can't remember her ever being given a sword in any depiction. Bows, yes, but swords...?

?TT: I would assume it is a sign as to who is meant to actually perform the scratch.

?TT: Who among you uses swords?

?TT: Wait, no. That's a dumb question.

TT: That'd be me, yeah.

TT: So I gotta go speak to my mystical crossroads demon and get a fucking sword to perform the scratch.

TT: Sounds like a wonderful little thing, doesn't it?

AA: Hephaestus probably understood this when he offered the choice.

?TT: Denizens are known to draw from the same dreams of potential that Skaia draws its visions of the future from.

?TT: I can only assume this is the only real option in the matter, however, Dirk, meeting your Denizen is a task only you can decide to take on.

TT: Damn it, I was going to say the same thing to Yuui, Rose.

TT: Yuui, you can tell Hephaestus that...

AA: Wait.

TT: I'll talk with Hecate, but I don't want you to make any decisions until I mes- wait what?

AA: He just said that the Choice had been accepted.

AA: I didn't say anything, he just loudly intoned that the choice had been made and then slithered off to soak in his hot lava bath tub.

AA: You're going to talk with Hecate, aren't you?

TT: I thought that was obvious, wasn't it?

TT: I'm getting that sword regardless of what stupid deal Hecate wants me to make.

?TT: I don't know whether to applaud your brave declaration, Dirk, or to cry for the stupidity of you falling for the Denizen's manipulations.

GG: Why not Both?

?TT: ...Both sounds like a good idea.

?TT: *Facepalms*

AA: Wait, dirk,

TT: Yeah?

AA: When you talk with hecate, ask about jake.

AA: I completely forgot to while i had hephaestus' attention.

GG: You know, I get the feeling that Hecate is going to bring that up first.

TT: Same here.

?TT: *Facepalm X2 Combo*

**> JACK: Call ahead.**

MISS DEARING'S CELLPHONE RINGS.

She answers with a Hello? Jack greets with a Hi, this is the Jack Noir your friendly Dersite Representative. She replies with a What can I do for you Mr. Noir?

Oh nothing, he replies, I'm just informing you that Derse's remaining population is evacuating to the four lands to accompany the planets through their evacuation from the session- oh, yeah, we know about that, by the way. 

I can tell, Miss Dearing says dryly.

But yeah, Jack continues, Nothing to be alarmed about. We're just giving the nice friendly heads up that we wanna get out of town with the rest of you. Too many CLOAKING, BLOOD THIRSTY PREDATORS, he says. You don't got any of those hanging around, do you? He asks. 

She tells him no, there aren't any BLOOD THIRSTY PREDATORS hanging around, and the only ones that CLOAK are SOFT AND CUDDLY and just want BELLY RUBS.

Jack laughs, says he can appreciate a good belly rub every now and again and wow what the hell am I saying, he asks before quickly making his GOODBYES and abruptly hanging up. 

**> JACK: FACEPALM X1 COMBO.**

God. Damn. Just.

UGH. And here you thought you'd gotten that DOG LOVING part of your brain EXCISED long, long ago.

You FACEPALM with your one remaining hand and lament your FURR-DIAN SLI- OH GOD DAMN IT NOT AGAIN.

You wish you had a second hand still, just for moments EXACTLY LIKE THESE.

**> DERSITES: EVACUATE.**

The Evacuation... continues? You suppose continues is the right word. The METEOR was only just one PIT STOP on the way. 

**> JACK: Enjoy VACATION.**

You won't be taking any VACATIONS any time soon. You're the KING OF DERSE!!! Who the hell is going to take over if you take a vacation?? The Dignitary is DEAD and you'd trust the DROLL with it as far as you could- wait. No. That's a bad idea. You could throw the Droll PRETTY FAR, even with just one arm.

**> DAVE+BRO: Send REPLY to DAVID**

Through John as the TIMEY WIMEY MESSENGER, they send their REPLY to DAVID at roughly the same time they received their letter, giving him equal time to compose a response.

Of course, Most of their "REPLY" Is made up of them fighting over the pen and drawing a bunch of dicks everywhere. It's mostly DICKS, and very few WORDED REPLIES.

What few worded replies there are good comebacks to his shade, though, David muses, but nothing that he COULDN'T HAVE PREDICTED ages ago... which he did. David gives John another LETTER almost immediately after receiving THE REPLY.

John begrudgingly accepts this task as the TIMEY WIMEY MESSENGER, though he says he's not DELIVERING ANY MORE LETTERS after this.

He had no idea how right he would be, given that by the time DAVE AND HIS BRO would compose another REPLY, everyone would be in the SAME PLANE of TIME AND SPACE.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was an interesting short chapter.


	34. ACT 4: Denizen Hecate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk meets the Denizen Hecate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Denizen Shenanigans.  
> Near Death Experience.

**> DIRK: Arrive**

You arrive at the ENTRANCE to HECATE'S PALACE.

Unlike almost EVERY OTHER DENIZEN DEN IN THE GAME, Hecate seems to have set up shop on top of the TALLEST NATURAL STRUCTURE on LOSAS, towering above the SUN CLOUD LAYER.

There is a HANDY DANDY STAIR CASE to CLIMB, next to it is a WARNING about falling down them written in the TROLLISH COMIC SANS FONT.

You proceed to ignore the WARNING and begin CLIMBING.

**> DIRK: ASCEND**

You PASS BY several PAINTED SIGNS on your way UP.

Some are PICTORIAL REMINDERS of the WARNING SIGN at the bottom of the stairs. Mostly FOOLISH CONSORTS tripping and ROLLING DOWN HILL to the bottom.

One is a rather CLASSY RENDITION of the MYTH of the man who was forced to ROLL A BOULDER up a HILL for ALL OF ETERNITY. The name escapes you at the moment, but the MYTH, the LEGEND, does not.

Then, there's a MORE RECENT PAINTING of a BLUE-HAIRED HUNTRESS shooting down INDOMINUS PROTOTYPED UNDERLINGS with a SNIPER RIFLE. You can tell this one is MORE RECENT than the others because the PAINT IS STILL WET. You can TELL THIS by the fact that there is a SECOND SIGN hanging off of the first one that says, SUCCINCTLY, "Wet Paint."

It seems SOMEONE has a sense of humor.

**> DIRK: Meet with Hecate **

You reach the SUMMIT.

Before you lay a vast, sprawling TEMPLE covered in the CORPSES of INDOMINUS PROTOTYPED UNDERLINGS.

Confused, you touch one of the DEAD IMPS, and it DISOLVES INTO GRIST upon contact. 

It seems that if a DENIZEN kills an Underling, they DON'T POP unless a player is there to collect it? Or, maybe, this is just a VISUAL REPRESENTATION of the HIDDEN GRIST CACHE that all Denizens guard? Either way, it's RATHER DISTURBING, to say the LEAST.

Or, just maybe, it's just a HIDDEN HUNTER'S SKILL that prevents UNDERLINGS from turning into GRIST, and instead just leaves behind bodies? That'd be kind of CREEPY, if that were the case.

You FOLLOW the DEAD BODY ROAD deeper into the TEMPLE, where you suddenly CROSS PATHS with TWO MORE sets of DEAD BODY ROADS.

It seems SOMEONE WAS BUSY actually hunting UNDERLINGS.

You suddenly feel VERY NERVOUS about being under a set of POSSIBLY REAL CROSSHAIRS. 

You DRAW YOUR SWORD as you CALL OUT to the DENIZEN.

"Hecate! Are you there? It's me, your Prince of Heart."  
  
You Pause.

"Dirk Strider, in the Flesh. I'm here for your sword so we can scratch. Let's make a deal, shall we?"

Suddenly, there is a MELODIOUS LAUGH filling the air, and you tighten your grip on your sword.

_"Well well well, it's been a while since I've had company that actually spoke."_

You're caught off guard by this VERY HUMAN VOICE echoing through the landscape. Weren't Denizens supposed to only speak weird MONSTER GOBBLEDY GOOK? Unless... she is? Because it's definitely a FEMALE VOICE speaking to you. It's possible this is just your MIND processing her MONSTER TONGUE in a way that's understandable to you.

You say, "Yeah, I could tell."

 _"Yes... Dirk Strider, Prince of Heart, Destroyer of Souls... My what devastation You've Wrought by prototyping that creature."_  
  
Yeah, well, "Not my greatest moment."

 _"The Royalty of two planets wiped out, the Battlefield now little more than Skin and Bones.... And all that by delaying the entry of your fellow players by_ MONTHS?" A pause. "All by your own solo entry." Her voice is closer now than it was before. Less Echoy.

You ask, "Is the recap really necessary? I've kinda done that already."

Her voice replies, "It's a Very Interesting path you've taken, Dirk Strider."

You begin looking around this CROSSROAD, for any sign of the SOURCE of the VOICE speaking to you.

But you see Nothing.

"You are quite the Hunter. A true Warrior. If not for the special circumstances in the previous instance of reality necessitating Yaldabaoth to take my, or any other Denizen Hecate's, spot... I'm sure it would have been a genuine toss up between which of us would have taken your spot as Denizen."

"Uh huh." you frown. "I keep hearing that being thrown around. Got any insight you wanna share?"

The LAUGH returns, echoing from ALL AROUND YOU.

You start popping UNDERLINGS to pass the time, and to make use of your DRAWN SWORD since it seems like this Denizen wants to play HEAD GAMES by not showing her face.

"Oh, my dear Hunter. You have no idea, _do you?_ " She asks. "Did you not wonder why half of your Former Land was eaten up by a Black Hole? Or what may have happened to it?"

"To be honest, I was a little busy getting my head put on straight at the time to care." You answer. "And wow that's a memory I didn't really want to remember any time soon."

"There is nothing straight about you, Prince. Even that blade of yours has it's minute curve near the tip."

You squint at your SWORD, and sure enough, the tip is WARPED near the top. It's subtle, and you wonder how you NEVER NOTICED IT.

"Well if that ain't creepy I dunno what is." You mutter, then, louder, ask, "You got a sniper rifle like that one sign said you did, or do you just have that great of an eyesight, eagle eyes?"

"I am many things. I could be an Eagle, yes."  
  
You hear an eagle's caw and a flap of wings from various directions.

"But to answer your question, I might ask you one of my own."  
  
She pauses- long enough for you to become uncomfortable.

"What do you seek, Hunter? Answer truthfully." She demands. " _Love? Victory? Solitude?_ Matters of the Heart- of the Soul- rarely are ever as straight forward as they seem."

"Well I got two questions mainly," You admit. "The first is-"

"Jake Harley."

"Damn it."

"Specifically, is he alive?" She hums in concern. "The answer is yes, although he presently resides in a place you cannot reach." A pause. "Not yet."

"Well that's a relief." You take a moment, and then ask, "So the second question is-"

"My Unbreakable Katana. And more specifically, may you have it for the Scratch?"

"Well... yeah."

You wait for her to reply, but she doesn't.  
  
"So... can I?"

She asks, "Can you wield it? Can you carry it? An interesting phrasing, compared to my own question."  
  
Fuck it, Semantics games.

"Can Versus May, I will not get into the specifics of linguistics with you, not when you doubt the very words you hear."

Denizen's got you there. You're still not sure if she's speaking MONSTER TONGUE, or actual ENGLISH.

"So the question isn't *AM I ABLE* to take it- A Question of ability. It's *AM I ALLOWED* to take it- A Question of approval."

She giggles faintly, "Exactly, dear Hunter."

"So what demon deal do I have to make at this dead body crossroads to be allowed to take your sword?" You ask.

"That is the crux of the matter is it not?"

A GUN SHOT rings out loud, and you feel the RUSH OF A BULLET whizz past the SIDE OF YOUR FACE.

An UNDERLING SQUEALS in pain from behind you when the bullet hits true.

You turn around, and see a CARDBOARD INDOMINUS LICH fall face first into the dirt- PLUSH STUFFING leaks out from the BACK OF THE HEAD where the bullet tore through when it exited.

You trace the trajectory of the shot back the way it came, and there you see HER.

Your DENIZEN lays crouched atop a LEDGE supported by three ROMAN STYLE PILLARS. She takes a HUMAN FORM- electric blue hair and electric green eyes. Her clothes are the COLORS of the HEART ASPECT, and take on the THEME of the HEIR CLASS. She wields a GOLDEN BOW made up out of what looks like POLISHED BRASS.

There is no sign of a SNIPER RIFLE that made the SOUND.

"Hecate, I presume?"

"Well spotted, Prince." She says.

Hecate does not so much as stand as LEAP from her crouched position, rolling through the air before landing on her feet behind you in a standing position. At a distance, you would have pegged her as teenager sized. Up close, she TOWERS above you by a good TWO FEET. Her very body radiates CONTROLLED POWER, tensed up and ready to be released at a moment's notice.

Your primal urges tell you to RUN. Your years of growing up alongside DINOSAURS lets you ignore it and stand your ground.

"You do well not to run."

Her mouth moves in a way that does not match the sounds coming out of it. Like a badly dubbed movie That's that theory confirmed, at any rate.

"Well, years of growing up with dinosaurs will do that to a guy." You shrug, "Ruins all kind of flight or fight instincts."

She looks you over, head to toe, and speaks, "You wish to Scratch your session with no Scratch Construct. If I did not know through first hand experience watching your Rogue of Void generating those Accursed Portals, I would think you foolish for coming to me with this request."

You're pretty sure that's a compliment.  
  
"I do not doubt now, that you will succeed in retrieving your Construct. But why not similarly retrieve the Quills?"

"Because Hephaestus offered a choice between out sourcing and in house production," You answer.

"It is not nearly that simple, Prince of Heart," she says as she begins to walk around you, circling, appraising, deciding. "Your motives for coming to see me were made up the moment you heard my name. You have another agenda."

Fucker knows you too well for an anime girl wannabe amazonian type.   
  
"Our dream selves died because of my prototyping Elise." You answer. "I never could find any Quest Beds anywhere in the session, either. And believe me, I found my ways to check the Moon Crypts."

"Yes, your little camera drones," Hecate smiles, continuing to circle you. "You did make that most recent one rather quickly. I'm surprised none of your friends commented upon just HOW quickly you put it together."  
  
She stops circling in front of you, eyeing you. You swear she has wolf ears and a swishing tail for a moment. You feel like you're staring down a fucking Werewolf. 

"After all, this instance of you holds no known means of robotics engineering."

"Maybe they're remembering past me like I did?" You ask.

"I saw that drone of yours fly out to Derse," She says. "That design was much too refined. It is a fine hunting tool if ever I have seen one." She smiled. "I know your future, Dirk Strider."

She restarts her circling, and you're beginning to feel like that first time you ever met Owen's RAPTORS. The way the four girls stared at you, appraising you, debating on how to take you down should the chance ever arise.

"That drone- it was too refined. Too, too refined." Hecate hums, amused. "You made more than just that one in your time alone here on the Land of Suns and Soil."

"So what? This doesn't have anything to do with the Quest Beds." You frown.

"You lie through omission, Strider," she admonished. "You never volunteered that information to your friends, and they never asked. Just as you did not mention to them your extra motive for coming here."

"So??" You wish she'd get to the point already.

"As I said before, matters of Heart are..."

She stops- draws her bow string back, aiming at you, and you DUCK on raw instinct.

The BOW STRING releases with the SOUND OF A GUNSHOT- and it is followed by the death cries of ANOTHER UNDERLING.

"Never straight in any manner of the word."

"Holy Shit- did you even know I was going to duck that!?" You ask.

"It was a fifty fifty chance." She smirked. "A 'Clean Break'."

"Fucking hell."  
  
You take a moment to get your wits about you.

"So in another world I literally just let myself get shot in the head didn't I?"

"You and your Team's chances for Ascending are now 100%. An Absolute Certainty."  
  
 _ **What.**_

"Had you not survived, it would be Zero."

"What? How???"

"Your Choice has already been made clear to you, Strider." She answers.

"Wait, what??" You ask. "The Duck?! My Fucking Crossroads deal was to duck under a bullet or DIE?!"

"Yes." She said, with an air of confidence. "That is the choice all who Ascend to the God Tiers are confronted with. Do or Die. You faced mortality head on, and survived, earning that right for your friends. When the time comes, you shall Ascend."  
  
And then she turns the bow into a fucking Katana in a GOLD PLATED SHEATH, holding onto said sheath and pointing the sword handle towards you.

"Free of charge- The Sword you came here for."

You grab the handle and DRAW THE KATANA.

It's utterly ORDINARY and PLAIN. No gold adorns the blade, and it looks almost identical to the one you brought with you, and yet....

You can FEEL the power within it humming against the palm of your hand.

You turn around and give it a TEST SWING into the next UNDERLING foolish enough to come at you and Hecate. With one swing, the INDOMNIOGRE is split from SHOULDER TO HIP without the blade even touching the damned thing.

Once more- a GUN SHOT rings out, but this time it's muted to your ears. As if you were wearing NOISE CANCELING HEADPHONES.

"Well, Crap in a Hat," you say, staring at the end results."What even is this thing?"

"Just another piece of the puzzle, Restrid," HECATE, DENIZEN OF HEART, replies, walking out of view behind you. "Just another piece of the puzzle. If you need my services again, you can find me in the Land of Light and Forests."

You turn back to Hecate, to ask her what she means by that... but she is GONE.

Damn fucking Denizens.

You CAPTCHALOGUE the UNBREAKABLE KATANA and turn to head back down the stairs...

**> DIRK: Descend.**

You start to climb down the stairs when you hear a faint CLICK, followed by your Denizen's LAUGHTER.

That's when you look down and realize the stairs beneath your feet are- at this angle fairly obviously- HINGED for rotation.

By the time that fact processes, you're already SLIDING DOWN the stairs like it's a goddamned AMUSEMENT PARK SLIDE.

You scream the entire way:

_**FUCKING.** _

_**DENIZENS!!!** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On Hecate: Imagine GGO!Avvie Sinon from Sword Art Online wearing a Heir of Heart Godtier costume.
> 
> Also, I had to edit the formatting because I have no idea what hexcode color Hecate's original tealish text color is anymore. It was far more green than Terezi's. Also... I feel like her talking face to face is far more proper and appropriate than a chat log would be.


	35. END OF ACT 4: SCRATCH.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Scratch; John finally uses the thing we all know he's had all this time; and A music Sequence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Corpse Field of Dead Guars.  
> Dirk takes a hit.

**> DAVE + BRO: Receive REPLY.**

You are now JOHN, and you DELIVER the final letter you're going to deliver.

You FLY AWAY to the Beat Mesa before they probably rupture your ear-drums with screaming.

**> JOHN: Get the BETA MESA.**

You remove BEAT MESA from LOHAC by means of Captchalogueing it. Then, you ZAPP to LOSAS to MEET UP with DIRK, who you were told should have the SCRATCH IMPLEMENT.

You use one of RHOZEE'S PASSCODES: "AndLadders"  
  
Annnd--- ZAP!

...Why the hell is Dirk lying at the bottom of a mountain with a giant SLIDE carved into the side of it?

JOHN: so, uh... what happened?

DIRK: Fucking Denizens, man.

DIRK: Fucking Denizens.

JOHN: oh, yeah, i hear you.

DIRK: Damned thing decided to make a game of chutes and ladders out of her staircase.

DIRK: Rolled a freaking snake eyes so down I go.

DIRK: She laughed, by the way.

DIRK: She warned me about the stairs, man.

DIRK: She TOLD ME about them, John!

DIRK: And I ignored them like a fool.

JOHN: wow, um...

JOHN: is sweet bro and hella jeff even a thing in this timeline?

DIRK: ...No comment.

JOHN: anyways did you get the scratchy thing?

DIRK: Yeah.

DIRK: Almost got my head blown off and my corpse eaten by underlings but yeah, I got it.

JOHN: so, shall we get to scratching?

DIRK: Yeah. Let's do this.

**> DRIK: where doing it man**

You and John travel to where JANE has told you the BEAT MESA should go.

He deploys it where Jane has helpfully MARKED THE GROUND with the lifeless bodies of A THOUSAND BANTAM GUARS. 

You're glad to see that Ellie has a new favorite snack, at least. You're a little less pleased that Jane might be SPOILING her on the treats. You message her and ask.

GG: Oh, um...

GG: No, actually, they're just that fragile.

GG: Ellie eats them all whole, no corpses left behind.

GG: These are... uh...

GG: Well you know how easy it is to kill the critters in ESO!

TT: ...Welp, okay, that's no less terrifying about the number of lizard chickens making up this mass grave.

TT: Like, what would happen if they ended up rising up out of some necromantic ritual or something?

GG: You would have to be insane to meddle with necromancy in a game like this, Dirk.

GG: ...But yeah, I am kind of worried about that now too.

GG: I suddenly have the vaguest memory of being swarmed by a bunch of consort skeletons.

John, who's reading your phone conversation over your shoulder, makes a CHOKED SOUND all of a sudden at that reference, and he disappears for a few moments as if to check for something. 

He returns, looking relieved.

GG: So John just appeared in front of me, hugging a random Slamanader baby consort that he got from somewhere.

TT: Is that where he went? He just poofed off for a few seconds for some unexplained reason.

GG: Yes, wait, he's saying it's go time now.

GG: You're about to do the scratch, so...

GG: Good Luck, Dirk! Roxy, Yuui, and I will evacuate with our lands now.

GG: See you on the flip side, Dirk.

TT: See you on the flipside, Jane.

You turn to John, and he nods.

JOHN: now the fun begins.

DIRK: Yeah, I see them.

UNDERLINGS have begun CHARGING over the SAND-COVERED HILLS- none of them bothering to TURN INVISIBLE under the pounding rays of the MANY SUNS.

You and John move over to stand on top of BEAT MESA itself, as it starts to rise up from where John laid it on the ground.

JOHN: last time i did this, it was just me.

JOHN: i'm glad to have someone by my side this time.

DIRK: Glad to be that person for someone, anyways.

John pulls out a YELLOW AND BLACK colored DINOSAUR GUN. The Underlings are getting closer- any second now you'll be entering combat.

DIRK: So what's that?

JOHN: something i picked up the last time i joined a team.

He opens the gun's mouth by pressing down on the tail, then he slots in some oddly shaped battery into one of the slots on the front. A close of the mouth, and the gun gives off an ENERGETIC CRY.

_**_"GABURINCHO! BUNPACHY!"_** _

DIRK: What the fuck did that thing just say?

JOHN: haha, i love that reaction

JOHN: you're going to love this even more!

JOHN: _**KYORYU CHANGE!**_

He spins the barrel of the revolver and it starts playing SAMBA MUSIC. You'd faceplam, and complain this isn't the time to DANCE, but that's exactly what John does. A silly little dance that seems to be in perfect time with the music. 

But then as the underlings get closer. John grins as he does a heel spin and cries out: _**"FIRE!!!"**_

The Gun lets out a burst of light that's shaped like a mechanical DINOSAUR HEAD- a Pachycephalasaurus, if you're not mistaken. The burst of energy ENCIRCLES the Beat Mesa just as the first wave of UNDERLINGS reaches it.

The Energy Blast completely DESTROYS THEM before returning and CHOMPING DOWN on John.

When the light fades, John's HEIR OF BREATH clothes have been replaced by a SPANDEX SUIT of a rather MUNDANE, almost GRAPHITE COLOR.

All of the Underlings pause to stare, and even your jaw opens just a bit as John strikes a pose.

JOHN: _The Clashing Hero! KYORYU GREY!_

JOHN: now LISTEN AND BE AMAZED while i serve as the unenviable distraction that i am!

Then, he jumps into battle- using whatever powers came with this suit along with his HEIR OF BREATH powers to begin the fight.

**>[[S] DIRK: where MAKING THIS HAPEN](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ejw-E2HBtlY)**

You take the DISTRACTION for what it is, and you STAB the edge of the BEAT MESA with your SWORD. You take off at a RUN, and SCRATCH the SURFACE.

As you begin the Scratch, you could swear that MUSIC had begin playing. But you're not sure if that's your IMAGINATION or anything to do with John's freaking DINO MORPHER.

John throws out wind bursts and ENERGY BLASTS that have accompanying names that you can't be bothered to listen to.

You're half-way across when there's one attack you can't help but admire- he forms a giant WRECKING BALL out of WIND, and smashes down several LARGE INDOMINUS OGERS. You change directions for a few moments and create a ZIG-ZAG in the LINE before you COURSE CORRECT and continue back on.

**> PM: ATTACK**

You find yourself quickly running out of planets to hopscotch across- that's when you see the LIGHT SHOW of a SCRATCH.

You head towards it, joining the fray just in time to get hit with a WALL OF FIRE. ( _ **_ALLOMERAS!_**_ )

Predictably, you brush it off thanks to your THICK HIDE, but there's a GREY SUITED HERO holding the gun that fired the fire off at you.

You ROAR- and dive after him. He fights back- throwing energy attack after windy blast after strange energy attack.

He's a decent DODGER and FIGHTER, you'll admit, but you'll get a hit in EVENTUALLY...!

The MESA suddenly JERKS UPWARDS. What the hell??

You're attacked by a TICKLE GRENADE BLAST this time- ( _ **_IGERANODON!_**_ ) - and as you STRUGGLE to fight off the LAUGHTER, you're suddenly VERY DIZZY!! ( _ **_GURUMONITE!_**_ )

WHERE DID HE GET THESE CHEATING POWERS FROM???

**> DIRK: CONCLUDE**

You finish SCRATCHING the Mesa and start using your LONG DISTANCE ATTACKS to keep the Underlings away as the Beat Mesa begins to ASCEND into the air towards SKAIA. Only the FLYING ONES manage to get anywhere on board, and you continue to ONE SHOT THEM as they come.

Once the Mesa has cleared a certain height, no more UNDERLINGS can get onto it. At that point, PAST JOHN takes LOSAS away to safety- but leaves behind a bunch of confused UNDERLINGS to float in space and be eradicated by the SCRATCH.

You turn your attention to the OTHER FIGHT.

John is fighting the PROTOTYPED MONSTER now, and you jump in to attack, and manage to get one good hit in- or so you think when the beast dodges and manages to slam her claws into your CHEST.

The next thing you're aware of is PAIN, followed by a BLUE LIGHT as you're ZAPPED AWAY to SAFETY.

**> JOHN: EXILE**

Your SUIT protects you from most of the INDOMINUS PROTOTYPING'S deadlier aspects- SHARP CLAWS AND TEETH AND SUPER STRENGTH that DIRK was not IMMUNE TO. You hurriedly ZAP him away, then strike with the **__ARCHENOLON!__** battery to slow the PROTOTYPED MONSTER down long enough to hit her with a full powered _**_TUPERANDA_** _Battery and FLATTEN the PROTOTYPED MONSTER with a follow up attack she can't TANK her way through.

Gotta love those Beast Battery Powers, you smirk beneath the helmet. (Even if you are cheating by ZAPPING in new batteries instead of replacing them MANUALLY.)

Once she transforms into a FLAT PIECE OF PAPER- you use your WINDY POWERS to Blow her away into the STILL EXISTING RIFT in orbit of SKAIA.

It's sadly only a temporary effect- and it unfortunately would prevent you from grabbing the RING while she was in that helpless state- but it was the only way you had to get her out of the session to complete that ANNOYING TIME LOOP of her attacking the TROLLS, as much as you hate it. You take a moment to catch your breath as the MESA ascends closer and closer to SKAIA.

You see the BATTLEFIELD for the last few moments it remains, and then you JUMP UP at it and TELEPORT ITSELF AND YOU away mere moments before the MESA hits SKAIA and the entire Session is SCRATCHED.

**> END OF ACT 4**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's the inevitable Cascade Moment. 
> 
> So yeah, it's been stated before but here's the explicit confirmation: It's John from Vamola Kyoryuger! Same John. 
> 
> YEP.


	36. INTERMISSION 2: Nothing on TV.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vriska is Bored.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Being a Ghost is hard and nobody understands.

> VRISKA: Go talk to the OTHER GHOSTS out of BOREDOM.

No.

Hell No.

I am NOT talking to those LOOSERS AGAIN. No amount of 8OREDOM will possibly compell me top TALK with them AGAIN.

No.

JACK: Meet MS. PAINT.

GOD. What a bore fest.

JACK: Seek ROYAL AUDIENCE.

Nooooo... Jack! Don't go to the wimpy sideeee.

STRILONDES: Have a FAMILY REUNION!!!

UGH. Being stuck out here in the void SURE DOES SUCK.

God, look at all thee commands just aimed at so many random people that share names with people I used to know. 

Check on DIRK? 

Who Cares!!!!!!!!

AR: Meet AR? 

What? You want some recursive window of A.I. Shades colliding together or something?

And then there's THIS DOOZY.

DREAM ALPHA KID GHOSTS + TWO (2) JADE GHOSTS + TWO (2) ARGO GHOSTS: WAKE.

WOW. Just. WOW. 

What is even the point? They'll wake up just to get EATEN by the Horrorterrors if they haven't already been.

God, you guys really do want to see these ghosts get nommed, don't you?

Trust me, it 8n't all it's cracked up to 8e. I've seen way too many 8ait Ghosts get snacked upon to even count and. Wow.

Just.

Wow.

Reunite with loving WIFE and DAUGHTER????????

Oh geeze, I know who THAT'S FROM. Someone who wants to recreate CON AIR's ending, that's who.

Man. I just.

Why.

Why is everything so BORING AND PREDICTABLE???

Fucking hell. Anything would be better than listening to these inn8ne commands echoing around the void without purpose.

These people are DEAD. LONG GONE. Even my fellow TROLLS are just- DEAD. GONE. Haven't seen Aradia or Sollux or even Terezi in centuries.

UGH.

SO.

8ORED.

You know what, I'd settle for even... even...

Wait. Who's there? 

H3LLO VR1SK4.

Terezi?? What the fuck? Where the hell have you been?? I thought I'd accounted for all your dream self ghosts.

H3R3. TH3R3. 3V3RY2WH3R3. 

Well if that 8in't cryptic...

NOW MY QU3ST1ON 1S... WH4T 4R3 YOU DO1NG H3R3?

Me? Just w8tng. 

FOR?

Anything interesting.

1F TH4T 1SNT TH3 V4GU3ST TH1NG 1V3 3V3R H34RD. 

It's true.

Can't find anything that remains out here in the void. Nothing worth doing anyways.

1 F1ND TH4T H4RD TO B3L13V3. TH4T YOU OF 4LL P3OPL3 DO3SNT H4V3 4NY 1RONS 1N TH3 F1R3.

Well, there are rumors I heard... A tale of some scru8s who got themselves caught up in one of Englishes backup plans...

8ut I find it hard to believe that any of them survived the Vast Res8t.

T3LL M3.

Alright, well... it starts off somewhat similar to what we'd all expect...


	37. ACT 5: The Requisite Hivebent Retelling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Vriska Serket at her absolute Worst.  
> Untimed Musical Sequence.

**> ACT 5  
**

Beneath A MASSIVE SUN in a REBORN INSTANCE OF A UNIVERSE lays a pair of planets inhabited by the same race of aliens.

The Trolls.

Our focus lies on the larger of the two planets- Named ALTERNIA.

On this planet, we focus on a HIVE settled near the equator inbetween the DESERT ZONE and the CANYON ZONE. 

Inside that hive is a YOUNG VIOLET BLOOD.

What is her name?

**> RHOZEE LLONDE. **

Your name is RHOZEE LLONDE.

Your SIXTH WRIGGLING DAY approached and passed SEVERAL LUNAR CYCLES AGO. Today, however, is the WRIGGLING DAY of your MATESPRIT- KANAYA MARYAM. 

Due to her UNIQUE BLOOD COLOR, Kanaya is set on a completely different DAY/NIGHT CYCLE from the rest of TROLL KIND. And so, in order to wish her a HAPPY WRIGGLING DAY, you must wait for the BLINDINGLY BRIGHT SUN to rise.

Your trolltag is tentacleTherapist, and you Try to fit as much information into as short of a time span as is physically possible.

**> RHOZEE: OBSERVE**

The sun is just barely peeking over the horizon, and is at safe enough levels to look at through your SPECIALLY TINTED WINDOWS. 

The SUN is something that has always fascinated you. Most life on ALTERNIA and BEFORUS require it to thrive- but only the PLANT LIFE uses it directly. Everything else survives by the PLANTS.

Only the DEEP SEA CREATURES that eat DEEP SEA PLANTS do not require SUNLIGHT of any kind. You've found that the QUEEN'S LUSUS is an EXCEPTIONAL EXAMPLE of DANGEROUS NATIVE FAUNA. 

The reason Trolls are so Mal-adapted to these two planets is because they are not NATIVE to them. But it's the only home you have for the foreseeable future.

Being a once SPACE FARING RACE had its benefits once, but without the PROPER FUEL for the HYPERSPACE DRIVES, the once MIGHTY EMPIRE has crumbled away into just two planets.

It was CENTURIES AGO that THAT cataclysmic fallout happened, however.

That's what you get when your race depends on an ANCIENT FOSSIL FUEL that could only be found on ONE PLANET, and then someone gets the GREAT IDEA to BLOW UP SAID PLANET to get at the SUPPOSEDLY HIDDEN FUEL RESERVES.

But you have a FEELING.

Today, if SOLLUX IS TO BE BELIEVED, is the day that you and your ELEVEN OTHER FRIENDS will ESCAPE the harsh glare of THE SUN'S GAZE.

**> RHOZEE: Examine ROOM.**

Your room is a MESS. Your SAND-OCTOPUS LUSUS tries to get you to clean it whenever she comes by, but you just make it a mess again afterwards. Well, at least it's a MESS that you know where everything IS.

You have a few POSTERS on the walls, but most are just pages ripped out of FASHION MAGAZINES that you and KANAYA share a SHARED LOVE OF.

Your RECUPRECOON is BROKEN- and holds no slime. It's been that way ever since you had a DAYDREAM that the SOPOR SLIME didn't block. Where the LONG ANCIENT EMPRESS showed up in a LARGE BATTLE and VAPORIZED your MATESPRIT with some kind of PSIONIC BEAM. 

It ended with you getting STABBED IN THE CHEST by a trident, and you waking up screaming- and awakening your LATENT PSYCHIC ABILITIES. 

By the time you were aware of yourself, the RECUPRECOON was missing a large CHUNK of its side, and the SLIME was leaking everywhere.

You began to AVOID SLEEPING whenever necessary after that.

**> RHOZEE: Message KANAYA to wish her a HAPPY WRIGGLING DAY**

You check TROLLIAN, but unfortunately Kanaya's still not on. You fire off a few WELL WISHES in the mean time, aware she'll receive them once she logs on, and you hint that you might be seeing her in person today.

Just another thing Sollux mentioned might be happening.

Kanaya's usually the one that comes to see you- considering that her MOTHER GRUB LUSUS can FLY, and YOURS CANNOT.

**> RHOZEE: Reflect on the nature of the HEMOSPECTRUM and CULLING**

The HEMOSPECTRUM is as it always was. TYRIAN RULES, RUST DROOLS... but the TWIN QUEENS currently are at an impasse as to how that should be IMPLEMENTED. The QUEEN of BEFORUS wants to CODDLE EVERYONE. The QUEEN of ALTERNIA belives that those who CANNOT SURVIVE in the harsh landscape should DIE. 

Each QUEEN has an HEIRESS, each who shares the OPPOSITE QUEEN'S POINT OF VIEW on the Hemospectrum. Both of whom like to ARGUE WITH YOU over who is right whenever the subject comes up.

Yeah, somehow you've ended up the ROYAL HEIRESSES' AUSPITICE. Go Figure. You're NOT QUITE SURE HOW THAT HAPPENED. You try to STAY NEUTRAL on the whole HEMOSPECTRUM Concept as a whole- but secretly you wish it'd just GO AWAY ENTIRELY.

Oh, and speak of the FISHY PRINCESSES, they're both HARASSING YOU now that you're online.

CuttlefishCuller and CuttlefishCoronator- FEFERI and MEENAH respectively. 

You look over their GRIEVANCES and... Good Grief, they're just fighting over WHO GETS THE LAST SLICE OF WRIGGLING DAY CAKE.

You tell them to CUT IT IN HALF as EVENLY AS POSSIBLE and SHARE.

They both complain about the idea, but you know they'll FOLLOW your ADVICE, eventually...

Sometimes, you wonder HOW the GREAT TROLLIAN EMPIRE got TWO ruling EMPRESSES- Or, QUEENS, as the title is now split between the two of them- in the first place. It seems like a wonderful way to MAKE THINGS EXCESSIVELY COMPLICATED. 

You see a bunch of OFFLINE NAMES besides the PRINCESSES and... Oh! She's on!

\- tentacleTherapist [TT] began Trolling urianianhUntress [UU] -

TT: What are you doing up this late?

UU: i coUld be asking yoU the same thing

UU: bUt my answer is no more intrigUeing than yoUrs. u_u

TT: Mine is mundane. I am waiting for Kanaya to wake up.

UU: mine is one that yoU've forgotten aboUt.

TT: Oh, yes, right. I completely forgot.

TT: Different time zones.

UU: different time zones can be a pain, can't they?

TT: Yes, they are.

UU: i see that the heiresses are online,

UU: i'm gUessing by yoUr pestering of me instead of them, that yoU're tired of their shenanigans?

TT: They want me to auspitize over a piece of cake.

UU: how petty! :U

TT: I suspect that things will become more chaotic once we enter the game.

TT: Speaking of, how far along is Sollux's little 'game'?

UU: aradia tells me that he will be ready to distribUte it soon.

UU: she seems mUch more excited than she has any right to be.

UU: dropping cryptic hints aboUt oUr fUtUres...

TT: Agreed, she was so much more agreeable before Tavros headbutted her off a cliff.

UU: atleast it wasnt a large cliff!

UU: like the one outside tavros' hoUse.

UU: i woUld have thrown him off of it myself if aranea hadn't beaten me to the pUnch!

TT: It is amazing the traumatic injuries a person can survive given the same situation is it not?

TT: Cracked skulls versus broken spines...

TT: I'm just glad that particular cycle of karmic debt concluded without any major loss of life and everyone learned a valuable lesson about not engaging in clownish behavior and eating the gods damned sopor slime.

UU: Unless yoU coUnt aradia's change in personality as a loss of life.

TT: Yes, unless you count that as a loss. Which I really don't.

TT: Aradia always did have a strange fascination with explosions before. It's just... much more pronounced now.

UU: i'm jUst concerned.

UU: my neighbor has voiced his worries aboUt his hive bUrning down becaUse of aradia's firework shows.

TT: Karkat? Concerned? Oh My! Someone call the local news anchor!

TT: But seriously, is she getting them that close to your neighborhood?

TT: I thought she was keeping a safe distance?

UU: she's kept the same distance, yes, bUt she's made them BIGGER.

UU: i qUite literally heard her mUttering to herself the other day,

UU: "BIGGER. What part of bigger do you not understand?"

UU: and she was not talking to anyone bUt herself.

TT: That is somewhat concerning.

TT: It's-

UU: rhozee?

TT: Sorry, Kanaya just messaged me.

UU: oh, okay, i'll message her then and wish her a happy wriggling day!

TT: Wait.

UU: u_u yes?

TT: Her Lusus died in her sleep.

UU: oh nooooo

UU: oh, oh no no no that's not good that's not good at all

UU: aren't mother grUbs sUpposed to be extremely long lived??

TT: Virgin Mother Grubs aren't.

UU: oh

UU: ohhhh...

TT: Yes...

UU: ...

TT: Excuse me I need to cheer her up.

TT: This could take a while.

UU: i Understand,

UU: take care of yoUr matesprit, rhozee.

TT: Thank you, Callie.

**> You are now...**

CALLIE LEIJON.

You've just exited a rather DISTRESSING TROLLIAN CONVERSATION.

You live on the planet BEFORUS, and you think it's about time you went and made use of the TIME DIFFERENCE and went out to talk with your NEIGHBOR about FIREPROOFING your HIVES.

**> CALLIE: Examine MOONS.**

You exit your hive, and walk across the LAWN RING towards your NEIGHBOR'S HIVE, as you walk, you LOOK UP at the MOONS.

BEFORUS has a SINGLE GREEN MOON, in the far distance, you can see ALTERNIA, and in its orbit, the PINK BUBBLEGUM MOON with a TINY PINK SATELLITE.   
Alternia and Beforus are both visible to each other during night time, somehow close enough to be VISIBLE, yet far enough away to not have GRAVITY PROBLEMS.

You have always found this ASPECT OF THE SOLAR SYSTEM to be EXTREMELY TROUBLING.

**> CALLIE: Go over to KARKAT'S.**

You knock on the door of your fellow HIDDEN BLOODIST'S HIVE. He opens the door wide enough just to glare at you.

KARKAT: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

CALLIE: we were going to talk aboUt fireproofing oUr hives from aradia's fireworks?

KARKAT: ...FINE.

He lets you in, locks that door, leads you up to his respite block, then locks THAT door behind you as well.

KARKAT: FIREPROOFING? REALLY? THAT'S THE BEST EXCUSE YOU COULD COME UP WITH IF SOMEONE WAS LISTENING IN??

KARKAT: CAUSE IF ARADIA BLOWS UP OUR HIVE BLOCK THERE'S NO WAY THAT FIREPROOFING IS GOING TO DO ANYTHING TO HELP AGAINST IT.

CALLIE: i was more thinking aboUt the game we will all soon be playing.

KARKAT: WHAT, THAT? YOU REALLY THINK ARADIA'S RAMBLINGS ARE *ACCURATE*??

CALLIE: i've been having... dreams, lately.

CALLIE: i'm almost certain they're related to the game.

KARKAT: WHAT KIND OF 'DREAMS'?

CALLIE: a golden moon that's an entire city, and a sky fUll of cloUds showing past and fUtUre events...

CALLIE: last night i saw a vision of oUr hives on fire.

KARKAT: SO CRYPTIC DREAMS ASIDE- IS THERE ANY REAL REASON FOR COMING TO VISIT??

CALLIE: i... i saw another thing as well.

KARKAT: WHY DO I GET THE BAD FEELING YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING HORRIBLE ABOUT TO HAPPEN?

CALLIE: there was some kind of monster, i coUldnt see what it was, bUt it had Us, and everyone else we're going to play with at its mercy.

CALLIE: yoU were hUrt enoUgh to be bleeding. i know yoU wanted to keep it a secret, karkat, bUt i feel that this is really the only way that yoU will believe me on this.

KARKAT: OKAY, IF YOU WANT TO USE THIS AS 'PROOF' OF YOUR 'DREAMS' BEING REAL.

KARKAT: TELL ME WHAT YOU SAW.

You lean in and whisper into his ear. Two words, so short and simple.

CALLIE: do yoU believe me?

KARKAT: HOW DO I KNOW YOU JUST DIDN'T PEEK IN A WINDOW OR SOMETHING?

CALLIE: i didn't, bUt i'd like to offer some kind of recompense as well if it will sooth yoUr mind.

CALLIE: my real coloUr as well, if it woUld help me to tell yoU.

KARKAT: WHAT? YOUR 'CLOSE ENOUGH TO BE MISTAKEN IN THE RIGHT LIGHTING' ODDITY??

CALLIE: yes, that.

KARKAT: ...OKAY, FINE.

KARKAT: *AMAZE* ME WITH YOUR SECRETS.

And so, still leaning in, you tell him.

And then he pushes you back just far enough that he can look you in the eyes.

KARKAT: FUCKING SERIOUSLY??

CALLIE: very.

KARKAT: ...FUCK.

He backs off and starts pacing around the room.

KARKAT: YOU DO REALIZE THAT IF HER IMPERIOUS KILL-THEM-ALL EVER LEARN OF THIS WE'RE BOTH DEAD, RIGHT??

CALLIE: hence, why i think the game woUld be a good escape.

KARKAT: YES, SOLLUX'S WEIRD 'ALTERNATE UNIVERSE GAME' THAT GOT ARADIA MAKING BIGGER AND BIGGER FIREWORKS.

KARKAT: ARE YOU *SURE* THAT'S ACTUALLY GOING TO BE A THING THAT WORKS??

CALLIE: as certain as i am on the blood in my veins.

KARKAT: ...

KARKAT: ...WHEN DO WE PLAY?

CALLIE: tonight, if sollUx codes as fast as he says he can.

KARKAT: MESSAGE ME WHEN HE HAS IT READY. I'LL MAKE A DECISION BY THEN.

CALLIE: of course.

You get up to leave.

KARKAT: AND CALLIE?

CALLIE: yes, karkat?

KARKAT: NOT A WORD TO ANYONE ELSE ABOUT THIS.

CALLIE: i've kept my own secret for as long as i've known what it means.

CALLIE: yoU don't have to worry aboUt me, karkat.

**> CALLIE: Return to your HIVE.**

You make the SHORT JOURNEY across the way back to your Hive, stopping only upon hearing the CRACKLE of a FIREWORK.

You turn and look out into the distance. Aradia has started early today, it seems. 

A moment later, another firework shoots up into the air- exploding into the shape of a GIANT RED GEAR before fading away.

It's a familiar shape- the second of tonight's OPENING SALVO. Aradia always starts out with a BLUE WINDY SHAPE, and a RED GEAR. You asked her once, what it meant. She said it was A SIGNAL, but to whom, she never clarified.

You look look back at Karkat's hive, and see him peeking out a window as a THIRD FIREWORK goes off- this one is a design that implicitly screams "SPACE" to your mind's eye, it's also the third one Aradia also sets off before moving onto more ESOTERIC SHAPES. Karkat's definitely considering the fireproofing now, you can only hope he'll agree to the game when the time comes.

**> CALLIE: Attempt to FIREPROOF your HIVE.**

You head inside and begin looking around for EXTRMEMELY FLAMIBLE MATERIALS to CAPTCHALOGUE. 

SNAKEMOM hisses a welcome back hiss at you, and you pet her on the head with a smile.

You aren't sure why, but you find the idea of her raising you EXTREMELY APPEALING, compared to OTHER ALTERNATIVES you might have had.

**> CALLIE: TROLL SOLLUX.**

While FIREPROOFING, you message SOLLUX.

\-- urianianhUntress [UU] began Trolling trollian hacks be AWESOME-SAUSCEME! [TA] --

UU: consider karkat in, i think i finally got throUgh to him.

TA: oh my god

TA: you conviinced hiim two joiin the game?

UU: i do believe he is very serioUsly considering it now, where he wasn't before.

UU: on a completely Unrelated note, do yoU have any sUggestions for fireproofing ones' hive?

TA: yeah, giime a 2econd, ii've got a txt fiile 2omewhere...

 **> SOLLUX: Send TEXT FILE**.

Then he sends her the- Wait. No. That's boring. Why am I going into so much detail again?

B3C4US3 1 4SK3D YOU TO.

Eh fair enough.

8ut e8traneous details aside.... that's basically the gist of the prologue. And Act one. And Two. And Act three too. So let's just skip ahead to what's good.

ACT EIGHT!

WH4T.

**> KANAYA: GRIEVE**

I mean, besides the obvious emotional issues there's nothing really to focus on that has to deal with the whole "English backup plan" plotline. Their session is relatively boring and mundane and nothing really happens.

BUT WH4T 4BOUT TH31R 3NTRY PROC3SS?? WHO 4R3 TH3 OTH3R PL4Y3RS???

Who cares? They're not us.

1 C4R3. 1 C4M3 H3R3 FOR 4 R34SON, VR1SK4.

1 F1GUR3D 1F 4NYON3 KN3W WH4T H4PP3N3D TO TH3M 1T WOULD B3 YOU.

BUT 1F YOU'R3 NOT GO1NG TO T3LL M3, TH3N 1 W1LL H4V3 TO GO 3LS3WH3R3.

Wait. W8!!!!

TEREZI. Don't walk away from me!!

TH3N T3LL M3 TH3 STORY PROP3R.

Fiiiiiiiineeeeeeee........

**> RHOZEE: COMFORT**

W3LL?

Well wh8t?

4R3N'T YOU GO1NG TO K33P T4LK1NG?

........

YOU DON'T 4CTU4LLY KNOW WH4T H4PP3NS N3XT, DO YOU?

....Yeee...

*GL4R3S*

...no.

YOU ONLY 3V3R L34RN3D WH4T YOU TOLD M3 B3FOR3 YOU GOT BOR3D, D1DN'T YOU?

...yeah.

FORG3T 1T.

Wait! Wait! I can learn!!! I CAN FIND OUT!!!!

TEREZIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!

....Don't leave me.

Terezi...?

........

What the hell is so special about those l88sers anyways??

She's right, I should have l8rned more but still what makes them so great anyways??

Let's see now... who else is there?

...Wait, that's really Sollux isn't it? I thought it was just someone who shared his name. Same for... Karkat????????

Wait, what?? How is this...

No. Nononononononono!

YOU.

YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU.

How are YOU ALIVE and I'm STUCK OUT HERE AS A F8CKING GH8ST!??!?!

**ARANEA SERKET!!!**

**YOU.**

_**WILL.** _

_**DIE!!!!!!!!** _

**> VRISKA: MENTAL BREAKDOWN.**

**BREAKDOWN? 8R8KDOWN?!?!**

**JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I 8M TO "8REAKD8WN"????????**

**I 8M VRI8KA F8C8ING 8ER8ET. 8ND 8 D8 N8T 8R8KD8WN!!!!!!!!**

**> VRISKA: FLIP THE FUCK OUT.**

**8 8M W8LL 8N MY W8Y.**

**J8ST Y8U W8 8ND 8EE!!!!!!!!**

**> REZI: Now what?**

You float away in search of ANOTHER PROSPECTIVE REASON for VRISKA'S MOTIVES in MEDDLING. THAT VRISKA you just talked with was OBVIOUSLY too EARLY in the timeline to even know....

Wait.

Did you just inadvertently set her into motion just now?

You look back just in time to watch a MANGLED SPIDER TROLL GHOST disappear like, well, A GHOST. 

Fuck. You totally just screwed up just now, didn't you?

Where the hell did she get to?

**> REZI: Search for a more recent VRISKA.**

You float through the REMAINS OF THE FURTHEST RING, and then you find her.

She floats serenely, as if in a trance.

You take a step into the area, and her Ghostly Eyes SNAP OPEN.

I was wondering when you'd show up again.

OH? YOU W3R3, W3R3 YOU?

**> REZI: Regret.**

1 FORC3D YOU 1NTO 4CT1ON, D1DN'T 1?

Yeeeeeeees and no.

I was always going to meddle eventually... you just... gave me the motivation to do it sooner rather than later.

WHY?

Why not?

WH4T D1D YOU D0?

Everyth8ng.

ST4RT 4T TH3 B3G1NN1NG.

Well... the first thing I did was mind control Tavros into throwing Aradia off a cliff, and then I was gonna throw HIM off a cliff when Aranea went to confront him. Wanted everyone to think she did it while she knew she didn't.

WH4T??

I didn't expect her to do it before I did. Didn't expect her to take CREDIT for it, 8ither.. That was 8rave. Stupid, 8ut 8rave. They THANKED her for it.

It wasn't enough.

I started looking for things I could do- Carapacians I could manipul8. I set in motion events you can't even f8thom, Terezi.

Dominoes so long and far ago set in motion you'd be hard pressed to find something I didn't set in motion just by nudging someone some particular way...

I'm still meddling with Tavros- well some other version of me is, 8nyw8ys. At this point I don't think he realizes what's his own thoughts and what are mine.

YOU... B1TCH!!!

_**That's Me!!!!!!!!!** _

STOP R1GHT NOW, OR 1'LL M4K3 YOU.

I'm too busy doing other things right now to be meddling with him right now.. Like talking to you- while orchestrating another menace to tear them all to shreds.

YOU'V3... WH4T 4R3 YOU DO1NG?

Fun Fact... did you know that in a set of twins- the smallest changes of DNA could make one more susceptible than the other to mental contamin8on?

WH4T 4R3 YOU T4LK1NG 4BOUT?

You don't know, do you? You're asleep. So you aren't even aware of what's going on 8round you.

Hah. I'd laugh more but then that'd bleed through the link I've got right now.

And that would give them all an advant8ge that I don't want.

1 W1LL STOP YOU.

You'd better W8KE UP, TEREZI. Wake Up and SMELL THE ASHES.

Cause you're already too l8. Too Little. Too L8.

You wanna know what I'm doing right now, Rezi-Too-Late?

**LOOK INTO MY EYES.**

Her eyes focus in on you, and you stare into the WHITE VOID that lays within.

[ **> [S] VRISKA: Reveal** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8rWfPPrKJ0)

In another place, a white egg begins to wobble as life within stirs. Nearby, another egg wobbles as well. Then, the first begins to CRACK with each heartbeat of the LIFE WITIN. The SIBLING EGG cracks as well- hatching well before the other. The tiny life within CRIES OUT in a strangled voice, before being rescued.

Moments later- the first egg looses a large piece of shell, and a CRIMSON EYE Peers through the gap. Then, from that eye, we cut to a Prototyping Orb, attached to a Ring, attached to a Finger, belonging to the PROTOTYPED MONSTER as she stares out upon the TROLL SESSION.

And then, her crimson turned eyes flash with CERULEAN SCORPIO SYMBOLS, as something in her mind BREAKS.

Planet after Planet, as the CHILDREN ENTER, The PROTOYPED MONSTER attacks- harassing until SUPPOSEDLY BEING DRIVEN OFF, but instead being told WHEN TO LET GO AND COME BACK FOR ANOTHER TIME.

A WINDY BOY appears, and tries to CONFRONT THE MONSTER, and Vriska's Will OVERRIDES, sending the beast to PROSPIT for EVEN MORE CHAOS.

After TWELVE PLANETS are entered- Vriska forces a confrontation on THE LAND OF LIGHT AND RAIN.

Within MOMENTS, devastating BLOWS are delivered to two players- RHOZEE LLOND and KANAYA MARYAM- forcing the INTERLOPING HEIR to transport them to their QUEST BEDS.

There- they ASCEND. SEER OF LIGHT, and SYLPH OF SPACE.

That's where Vriska orders a CHANGE IN TACTICS- target the DREAM SELVES, AND THEIR QUEST CRYPTS.

She has the PROTOTYPED MONSTER steal the ONLY SET OF TIME BOXES that ARADIA OWNS, and ESCAPES into the past to cause the required destruction- starting with the DESTRUCTION OF THE TIME BOXES immediately upon ARRIVAL.

**> ==>**

Meanwhile, in a distant VOID, on the LAND OF LIGHT AND FORESTS, DIRK STRIDER appears on a QUEST BED- marked with HEART- with a ZAP.

The RAYS OF LIGHT focus in on him, and begin the transformation even as the DENIZEN HECATE watches on.

Across the void's transplanted SBURB PLANETS, all look upwards at that planet as the BOY ASCENDS.

The GREY VOID becomes filled with the amazing ENERGIES OF LIFE- and then it disappears in a FLASH, as the FULLY ARISEN PRINCE OF HEART floats down to meet his friends.

Reunions are had, laughs are shared--

**> ==>**

And with that deed done, John Egbert focuses on beginning to TRANSPLANT SEVEN PLANETS and a BATTLEFIELD into ANOTHER SESSION.

One by one- at a CROSS AXIS between the gaps between DERSE AND PROSPIT ENTRY CHAINS, SEVEN PLANETS appear, confusing the PROTOTYPED MONSTER as she watches FOUR FAMILIAR LANDS APPEAR.

Two chains of planets- cross orbiting each other so that their paths form an X- and then, floating in the center of SKAIA- the TROLL'S BATTLEFIELD is DISPLACED into an ORBIT as a SECOND BATTLEFIELD APPEARS within.

On a METEOR, all TWELVE TROLLS and their WINDY GUARDIAN look on at the STRANGELY FORMED SESSION.

Our view, however, shifts to the last of those twelve that we have not focused on or learned the name of before. He who wears a coat made out a a DARK BLUE MATERIAL.

And he shall be called--

**> ==>**

Rezi Harley snaps out of the vision as DAVE Slaps her dreamself awake.

"Yo. Rise and Shine, sleeping princess. We're here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vriska... really got a bad shake in this instance of reality. I really wasn't going to make her go through such a thorough breakdown of character when starting this. Poor girl. Being a Ghost didn't do her much favor, but also some of the reader commands were... as have been previously mentioned, kind of belligerent and trolling and mean.
> 
> ...SO ANYWAYS. Yeah. This whole sequence at the end ended up being me trying to put some sense of order to the chaotic events that had happened aaaaall through the last... 3/4ths of this fic, and try and set the stage for everything that would follow. At this point, I think I knew exactly where I was going with the ending and how I needed to accomplish it... if only the readers would co-operate in that regard. 
> 
> We've about one more fourth of the story to go if my original text document is to believed. It's around this point I got harassed by a reader requesting "Strong Bad" almost every update. ><; They wouldn't get the hint.
> 
> I'm pretty sure I was being trolled. 
> 
> ...Also, let's be real here, with the MONSTER length of this story so far, there was NO WAY I was committing to a full Hivebent style interlude. I had to subvert expectations some way. LOL.


	38. ACT 5: Regularly Scheduled Freakout.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rezi wakes up; we meet another Troll... huh? I swear we did though?? ...????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:   
> Questions of Suicidal Intent.  
> Broken Nose.  
> Amnesia Aura.  
> Severe Power Induced Isolation.

_**> REZI: Freak out.** _

OH GOD. OH GOD. OH GOD.

You have no idea what Vriska's done but you're suddenly WELL AWARE OF THE FACT that she is almost certainly INSANE, and you probably had an even 50% CHANCE of causing ALL OF THIS with your ILL-TIMED FORCED NAP. God, what's wrong with you for doing this!?

You feel horrible and terrible and-

_**BARK!!** _

\--What?

**> REZI: Talk to DAVE.**

REZI: did you just bark?

DAVE: what

DAVE: no come on rezi you know jades part dog now right

DAVE: please tell me you did not forget that jade is part dog

REZI: I...1...i...

REZI: i guess i did, for a moment.

REZI: urgh, my head hurts. X[

DAVE: well duh loading up on three fucking needles of whatever knockout drug you were using will tend to DO THAT TO A PERSON seriously rezi what the fuck

DAVE: were you trying to do the god tier thing solo or something??

REZI: i... uh...

DAVE: because if so you did it completely wrong because neither of your selves were on a fucking quest bed so fucking seriously

DAVE: be honest with me here

DAVE: look im taking my shades off and everything.

DAVE: SUPER SERIOUS DAVE.

DAVE: were you trying to kill yourself?

REZI: WH4T???

REZI: NO! 1 W4S JUST...

REZI: I was TRYING to find out what Vriska was doing in the void and I think I started her roaring rampage of revenge.

REZI: I was NOT trying to kill myself. I just couldn't... knock myself out??

DAVE: so you... ugh

DAVE: nevermind.

DAVE: okay just,

DAVE: talk with me about this? or

DAVE: atleast just talk with someone, okay??

DAVE: if you ever start feeling like that??

REZI: fine, dave, 1 prom1se3.

DAVE: good, good.

DAVE: now come on

DAVE: time to go meet the neighbors

**> ==>**

You look around and realize that you're on YET ANOTHER METEOR. When did you get transfered here? Well, while you were asleep, probably.

Oh GOD there are TROLLS EVERYWHERE, especially PEOPLE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IN YEARS!!!

Is that... KARKAT??? Oh GOSH he looks just as cute and adorable as ALWAYS!

You wanna go over there and start knocking him upside the head but- damn it, it looks like he's talking with JADE and a SUSPICIOUSLY GOD TIER DIRK about something. Actually, you probably should go over there and talk strategy buuuut... later.

SO MUCH LATER.

You've got a HEADACHE.

Who's around that won't make your head hurt just talking with them??

Looks like... Oh, hey, there's Taaavvv.....ros.

Okay, screw it, you're going in.

REZI: H3Y, T4VROS!

TAVROS: uHHHHHHHH,,,,,

TAVROS: hI??

TAVROS: dO I, uHHHHM, knOW yOU???

REZI: of COURSE you do!

And then you fucking headbutt him.

ARANEA: ...Whatever he's done to you, I'm sure he... Pro8a8ly deserved it.

ARANEA: 8ut your form could use some more work. I'd give that a solid 5/10 in terms of head-butting form.

MEENAH: what? not 8 outa 10?

ARANEA: I wouldn't force my quirk on it, Meenah. It just needs that much work.

TAVROS: ooooWWW....

TAVROS: i binK bhe bwOKE mUH BNOSE...

MEENAH: youll get overit, clownfish.

MEENAH: ooh, but yeah that wooks bwoken. Er.

MEENAH: looks broken. sorry. dang that's a catchy way of speakin u got now, tavvy.

TAVROS: uwwwhhh...fhANKZ?

KARKAT: OH FOR THE LOVE OF-

KARKAT: JOHN! WHY THE FUCK DID HUMAN-TEREZI JUST HEADBUTT TAVROS??

JOHN: you're asking me??

JOHN: rezi! why did you just headbutt tavros?!

Mercifully, the SWELLING PAIN in your head forces you back into SLEEPY LAND...

Only to wake your WAKING SELF UP who ALSO is on the Meteor and you've not escaped the HEADACHE, it's only been DULLED.

OW.

That was a dumb move and now everyone's looking at you with concern plainly EVIDENT on their faces.

**> REZI: Explain.**

REZI: Vriska.

REZI: 1... I talked with her while I was asleep.

REZI: Said she was mind controlling him.

REZI: So... 4 BROK3N NOS3.

REZI: 1'd l1k3 to s33 h3r m1nd control som3on3 through TH4T.

KARKAT: WELL FUCK.

KARKAT: ARANEA? CALLIE?

ARANEA: I'll keep an eye on him.

CALLIE: i haven't sensed anything whenever he's been aroUnd me, bUt that's not to say she hasn't been messing with him when i'm not been aroUnd.

KARKAT: OKAY GREAT. SO WE'VE GOT A POTENTIAL SECURITY LEAK.

KARKAT: ANYTHING ELSE YOU LEARN DURING YOUR NAP, TEREZI?

REZI: sh3's m1nd controll1ng 4 monst3r of som3 k1nd.

REZI: look3d l1k3 4 d1nos4ur from 4 mov13 got prototyp3d.

DIRK: Yeah that'd be Elise.

DIRK: Rhozee just got finished telling me that Callie'd confirmed Vriska was messing with Elise's mind- right before Da...ve slapped you awake.

DAVE: ....

STRIDER: ....

DIRK: (Damn it this is so weird.)

CALLIE: did yoU learn anything else, miss harley?

REZI: ...why don't you guys fill me in first, then we'll see if i actually did, or not.

DAVE: fair enough

DAVE: so whose up for rehash the story round ten?

STRIDER: ill do it

STRIDER: everyone else can just work on the battle plan

DAVE: what plan

STRIDER: theres always a plan

DAVE: no seriously what plan

STRIDER: thats why youre going to be working on it.

DAVE: but really whats the plan come on dont leave me hanging here

DIRK: (Is anyone else weirded out by this or is it just me?)

KARKAT: (fucking hell yes i am!)

KARKAT: (SO GLAD someone else mentioned it first, by the way)

ARANEA: *Sigh*

**> ==>**

You are now ARADIA MEGIDO, and you've just been TAPPED ON THE SHOULDER for ATTENTION. 

Why, who is it but your RESIDENT HAIR-BALL OF VOIDY RAGE, MARRIN JASPUR. What do they want now?

Oh, they just wanted to remind you that THEY EXIST, because their VOIDY POWERS were acting up again. Right, right. You smile and tell them that you remember they exist- even if their gender is a big fat blank in your mind right now... same with their voice...

You can't actually remember them speaking even though you just had a conversation with them.

Dang it, that's so IN-FUR-IATING.

Wait, no, that was DEFINITELY one of their CAT PUNS, and not yours.

An idea occurs to you, and you direct your FRIEND over to ARGO. Maybe she'll be immune to the voidy majiyks for THEMATIC REASONS?

As soon as they leave your sight you forget that this conversation even happened.  
  
 **> MARRIN: CONVERSE.**

Who? 

The narrative isn't aware of anyone named Marrin and- Okay yeah you're just messing with people now. You're now MARRIN JASPUR.

Unfortunately for you, you can't really... TALK with people. Not since your POWERS WENT CRAZY. There's only one person who remembers you even EXIST outside of a certain area since this started.

You tap a SEER on the shoulder. Since your powers started acting up this is the only real reliable way to get someone's attention.

RHOZEE: Oh, hello, Jaspur. What can I do for you?

You point towards Argo. Once again, words fall from your mouth before they reach her ears, but oh well. RHOZEE gets the idea.

RHOZEE: Ah, you want to talk with her, hm?

RHOZEE: Alright, I'll make the introductions.

She heads over to Argo, and Rhozee begins to explain the situation. That your powers are weird and acting up for no known reason, and that she'll likely forget the conversation you're about to have.

Argo nods in agreement to a conversation.

And so, you go to talk.

ARGO: hello!

You say Hello.

ARGO: ...okay that's weird.

RHOZEE: You'll get used to it, eventually, I suppose.

ARGO: they, um... look a bit like you?

You say that would be because you ___ ____ ____ ____ ___ ____ ______.

ARGO: oh wow, that means you're _______________??

ARGO: also.. wait, why did I just say nothing but blank air??

Yes, you say.

RHOZEE: The answer to the first one is likely why I'm aware of them outside of the void zone.

RHOZEE: The answer to the second is a side-effect of your memory being edited in real time.

ARGO: that's kinda sad :((

ARGO: nobody else remembers? why??

RHOZEE: We're not entirely sure.

RHOZEE: My running theory is it's a defense mechanism against Vriska's psychic manipulations.

RHOZEE: But I'm lacking explicit evidence to confirm it besides the fact that Aranea can't even interact with Marrin like everyone else can.

ARGO: wow. that's...

Messed up, you agree.

Argo just gives you a hug.

You start to tear up a little. It's been a while since anyone has given you a hug. 

**> ARGO: Try to REMPURR.**

You FOCUS YOUR MIND on REMEMBERING MARRIN once they step out of your--

...

...

What were you doing again?

**> EVERYONE: PLAN.**

To maintain OPERATIONAL SECURITY, Rhozee uses MARRIN'S VOIDY AURA to OBFUSCATE THE PLAN from OUTSIDE OBSERVERS. She herself CONTINUES TO REMEMBER, however. 

The Plan...What was the plan exactly? That's what any SNEAKY OBSERVING GHOSTS will be wondering. 

In fact, let's see what she's up to! (Though we are SO skipping the cerulean text for the moment because A: that's tiring work, and B: she can't exactly focus on the narrative enough to enforce it.)

**> Be Vriska**

Your F8CKING NOSE!!!!!!!!

Damn Terezi managed to sneak one in while you were FULLY DOVE into TAVROS. God. D8MN. 

How the hell did she know?? Damn it damn it... a FUTURE YOU Must have 8LA88ED!!!!!!!!

**> VRISKA: Work on plan.**

When your NOSE STOPS HURTING. Damned psychic BACKLASH.

**> VRISKA: Consider punching FUTURE VRISKA.**

You PUNCH YOURSELF IN THE FACE and --- OW. OW. OW. OKAY THAT JUST MADE YOUR NOSE HURT EVEN MORE.

What the *FUCK* were you just thinking????????

**> VRISKA: Examine DREAM BUBBLE.**

What BUBBLE? You're not near any bubbles right now. You're STANDING ON THE EDGE of a 8RK IN REALITY, where the FURTHEST RING ends and the ENDLESS VOID in which a BLACK HOLE RESIDES.

You've THOUGHT ABOUT JUMPING IN, but the PLAN requires you wait. 

And W8.

Annnnd WAIT SOME MORE.

Whoooooooo boy. So much waiting.

At least now you have the PAIN TO WAIT OUT to KILL SOME TIME first.

Speaking of.

_OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW........_

**> VRISKA: EXPOSIT to SELF.**

Your NOSE HURTS.

That is all.

**> VRISKA: Anything else interesting around?**

Void, Void, More Void, a Black Hole, void, Void, a few SPATIAL CRACKS, yet more VOID, oh, look, a Horror Terror, a few more CRACKS, YET MORE VOID.

**> W8: Be over.**

No way of telling, your GHOST NOSE STILL HURTS.

Seriously- how hard did Terezi hit Tavros to make the psychic backlash last THIS LONG???

You at least hope that she's hurting as much as you are.

**> Jade: Sit down**

You SIT DOWN next to a SAD LOOKING TROLL.

JADE: hi!

MARRIN: ...hi...

JADE: soooo...

JADE: what were you rose and argo talking about?

MARRIN: it was.... wait... you remember that?

JADE: mmh. yeah

JADE: you looked like you could use another hug so...

JADE: *hugs*

MARRIN: *is hugged*

MARRIN: ...how? how do you remember that?

MARRIN: you were way outside my aura range.

JADE: :?

MARRIN: my powers are acting up.

MARRIN: except for rhozee everyone forgets me when i walk away from them.

JADE: oh geeze that's gotta suck! :(

MARRIN: it does, yeah.

MARRIN: i... also, do you hear the words that i'm saying right now?

MARRIN: like, every word and not just the general concept that i'm trying to get across?

JADE: umm... i think so?

JADE: say a random string of words and i'll repeat them back!

MARRIN: ...okay...

MARRIN: pumpkin t-shirt dinosaur lizard cat mutant mystery thing

JADE: pumpkin t-shirt dinosaur lizard cat mutant mystery thing!

MARRIN: :O YOU CAN HEAR ME!!!

JADE: woah wow yeah i can hear you!

JADE: i guess you-

MARRIN: *HUGS AGAIN AND VERY TIGHTLY*

JADE: *hugs back*

JADE: ...i guess your powers make your voice hard to hear too?

MARRIN: *Aggressive Nodding*

JADE: i don't really get it but maybe it's because i'm a werewolf now?

JADE: plus the way i god tiered was really really weird ._.;

MARRIN: who knows i don't care you can hear me and that is pawesome!!!

JADE: pawesome?

MARRIN: yessss because i had cat mom i have to have lots of cat puns in the way i talk

MARRIN: :3

JADE: hehehe, argo likes cat puns too! OH!

JADE: did she remember??

MARRIN: no but that's okay fur now beclaws i have you to hear and remember now and that is just purrfect and eeeee thankyouuuu *hugs tighter*

JADE: d'awww...

While You (Jade) console a VOIDY CAT-TROLL, You (the Reader) wonders what JAKE is doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HHOOOO. Okay Past me wasn't so far gone as to not recognize that Terezi's stunt with the drugs was very possibly horribly suicidal in implication.
> 
> That Said Terezi You REALLY NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE. This is why remembering past life memories is fucked up...
> 
> ALSO. Speaking of Fucked Up! What did I do to poor Marrin? GOOD GRIEF, PAST ME!!! That's horrible torture to put on someone.


	39. ACT 5: The Reaper In Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Black Rock Shooter cross starts here.]
> 
> Jake awakens, and meets Yomi Takanashi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Metaverse talk.  
> Ascension Mechanics.  
> Mentions of Abuse.  
> Talk of Murder.  
> Necromancy.

**> JAKE: Exist.**

You are now JAKE HARLEY and you are suddenly VERY AWARE of being alive by means of a rush of air suddenly entering your lungs.

You force yourself to sit up and gulp in whole huge breaths of dear sweet precious oxygen.

Oh. OH GOD. You feel like you just got sent through through the RINSE CYCLE of a dishwasher.

**> JAKE: Examine location.**

You look around expecting to be in your VACATION HOME but... you're not.

You're in a BLACK-GREEN CRYSTALLINE ROOM, and you're....

You're wearing a set of BANANA YELLOW CLOTHES with a set of ANGEL WINGS printed on the chest.

You... God Tiered??? At least someone thought your PAGE SHORTS to be a bit REVEALING and gave you some PANTS to wear over them. That still begs the question of WHO did this, which is no less embarrassing.

You sit up and look around a bit more closely.

The ROOM is a LOT LARGER than you first thought- it's more accurate to compare it to a ROYAL THRONE ROOM.... There is a THRONE at the far end of the room, and sitting in it is a BLACK ROBED FIGURE wielding a SCYTHE.

There's a DOG CORPSE and a CAT CORPSE sitting at their feet, and two GLOWING ORBS float over those bodies.

????: Oh, you're finally awake.

You JUMP in surprise.

????: I was wondering if I'd put your soul back in right or not.

????: Approach, Page. We must speak.

**> HECATE: SNOOP**

You are now the SKAIA DESIGNATED DENIZEN OF HEART- Hecate. From the LAST TIME we saw you, you've SINCE MIGRATED from your PRINCE'S LAND to that of the SOUL FUSION PLAYER- the Half Time and Half Heart one- and have entered their HOUSE.

Nobody is HOME in this household.

Sugar crystals crunch under your feet into the rug as you observe the GRAND ENTRY-WAY.

The KITCHEN seems to have been DESTROYED, and a WIZARD STATUE lays in PIECES across the floor.

Curious. 

**> HECATE: Ascend**

You ASCEND the STAIRS.

More SUGAR Crystals crunch beneath your feet, and you ARRIVE on the first landing- there are now MORE STAIRS leading UP AND UP, however your KEEN SENSES know what is SBURB GENERATED, and what is ORIGINAL to the house.

You move into the PLAYER'S BEDROOM.

The room is a MESS. It looks like several EXPLOSIONS went off at one point- or perhaps just A SINGULAR GOD TIERING? Perhaps two, you're not quite sure. If this planet HAD NOT SPAWNED without a Denizen in it- Skaia always knew you'd migrate here once your PRINCE had ascended- you would ask the RESIDENT DENIZEN about what happened.

Alas, your curiosity will have to be sated in OTHER WAYS.

The room is certainly a MESS. Some POSTERS have been torn down by a rogue UNDERLING at some point. 

The BOOKSHELF seems relatively intact, however.

**> HECATE: Examine Book**

You pick a RANDOM TOME off the shelf and read the title.

"MYSTRYAL: How to Build a World."

....Curious.

You open the book to the first page, what you SEE surprises you.

There is an ANIME THEMED DRAWING of SEVERAL POWERFUL BEINGS- one of which happens to look like YOUR CURRENT FORM, only in DIFFERENT CLOTHING. 

This resemblance is so striking that you continue to read through the book's PROLOGUE- which is LESS A PROLOGUE and more of a LETTER TO YOURSELF.

This book is a WORK OF FICTION, however, so it's very likely that whoever ACTUALLY WROTE THIS was just CHANNELING from the same source of POTENTIAL that SKAIA ITSELF draws from for its endless pool of DENIZEN SOUL MATTER. 

You will ADMIT, however, that the idea of ESCAPING from SKAIA'S GRASP to create YOUR OWN WORLD does appeal to you. It is the ONE ENVY you have- that you could be A PLAYER, and not just A GUIDE.

**> HECATE: Choose another Book**

You put the book into your ROBE'S STOMACH FRONT POCKET, for reading later, and then pick up ANOTHER VOLUME. 

_"Gravity Falls: Journal 3."_

You open this one and--- okay, wow this is a LOT OF COLORFUL DRAWINGS. Definitely a WORK OF FICTION. You think it LUCKY that this was not PROTOTYPED.

You put the book back and turn your attention to the PLAGG PLUSHIE.

It is well worn in the way that HUGGED PLUSHIES tend to be. You can't help but SMILE FONDLY at the idea of HAVING A CHILDHOOD and having such NICETIES. Yours was not so nice before your Ascending Soul was dragged into SBURB's grasp.

**> JAKE: Talk**

The ROBED FIGURE extends a metal-gauntlet covered hand towards you, and inches a finger in a beckoning manner. You approach.

JAKE: Um, Hi.

JAKE: Who are you?

????: Me? Now that is a question I am rarely asked. And it rarely has anything to do with my lack of visitors.

????: Most people who see me understand what I am.

JAKE: Are you my Denizen?

????: No. I am not a 'Denizen', 'Demon' would be a more accurate term by my own research. Although, given these unique circumstances, I suppose I could be considered a 'special case' Denizen, if you wish.

????: Tell me, do you know where you are, Page?

JAKE: No, I don't. The last thing I remember was trying to enter SBURB and...

JAKE: Then I woke up here!

????: Skaia often detests cheaters, you know. Dumped you straight into a death trap for trying to save your world for some reason I cannot fathom.

????: I've observed so many who died in that void, and their souls languish, wasting away or serving as food for monsters.

????: Very rarely have I had a soul entwined with Skaia's will to examine such as yours.

As she says this, she toys with the ORB over the DOG.

JAKE: You.... those orbs are souls?

????: That they are.

JAKE: My god... You're a grim reaper!

????: Ah, now you understand.

From beneath the robe's hood, you see a set of feminine lips smile in a way that makes you shiver from how pale the skin around them is. You'd almost think she were a walking, talking corpse.

JAKE: Still, that doesn't answer my question...

JAKE: Who are you? I mean, I can't just call you Death, can I?

????: As I said, most who visit me rarely ask that.

????: I could give you the name I chose upon Ascending.

????: But I suspect that is not the name you wish to have, Page.

????: Which would you prefer? My former name or current name?

JAKE: I.... it doesn't really matter, I guess? Can I think on it?

????: Of course.

JAKE: You can call me Jake, though. You don't have to all me Page.

????: Mh. I see...

????: Jake, as you understand it, I am a personification of Death.

????: Even before I ascended to this position, I was known as a Master of Death.

????: To that end, does that not imply to you where you have ended up?

JAKE: ...the Furthest Ring?

????: HAHAHAHA! Oh no, my silly boy. I am not allowed to visit there.

JAKE: But you said you observed...?

????: Just because I can observe something does not mean I can visit it.

You suppose that makes sense, to one degree or another.

JAKE: So where are we?

????: A void between voids between voids, but not the void between those voids.

????: Imagine something like your Furthest Ring- with so many Skaian sessions and their created Universes as bubbles floating around in the void- then imagine that void is just one of many voids floating as bubbles inside another void.

JAKE: And then that void as a bubble inside another void filled with bubbles?

????: Yes.

????: A multiverse of multiverses.

????: And that is where we now reside.

????: This is a place where very few souls ever come.

????: Only Psychopomps and Demons and Denizens- Ascendant beings with powers such as I- can inhabit or cross such a void naturally without assistance- at least in this corner of the omni-multi-uni-whateveri-verse.

????: Due to the Lord of time's influence, Paradox Space does not like its outside meddlers, and so most avoid this particular cluster of reality unless they have means of protection from it's effects. All other life... tends to simply stop while crossing this particular area, which is why I hide here. Though Lately I've seen the effect fading and shrinking rapidly. Skaia dumped you here likely aware of that, intending for the lack of a Star to warm your planet to finish you off once the stopping effect had rescinded.

JAKE: So... am I dead?

????: Not presently.

JAKE: Did I die?

????: Not at all.

JAKE: Then how am I God Tier??

????: To use a computer game analogy that you should be familiar with, I used the command console, and changed the flag that makes you Ascend.

JAKE: ... You _***Hacked***_ me into God Tier??

????: In so simple words, yes. Death is trivial to a person like myself.

????: I've studied immortality for so long.... this pocket of void is one of the few places where the laws of reality specifically require it even to exist without outside protection.

????: It was the only way I could converse with you. I had to force that latent power to manifest so you would fit those rules.

JAKE: I think I understand.

JAKE: So why did you want to talk with me?

????: For starters, Skaia punished you by denying your entry... I was curious as to what kind of person would generate such a reaction.

????: And as I said before- I rarely get visitors... I was lonely. I wished for someone to speak to, even if for a short while.

JAKE: Why live here then?

????: I held few friends in my first life. I was what some would call a Necromancer, although not by choice.

JAKE: !!!!

????: Due to that forced research, I discovered that certain souls held a property to them. A property my soul held. A property that your soul held a variation of- one more streamlined, and powered more by Skaia's magic than what mine is.

JAKE: But similar?

????: Yes. It was that property that I meddled with to grant you your current immortality. In fact, it was similar enough I was able to elevate you beyond what Skaia would normally grant you, but that's not too important for the moment...

JAKE: Huh.

JAKE: So I guess living in this place let you do your research better?

????: No.

????: I came to live here after my research was completed, which was long after I'd discovered that Immortality was but a step away if I could just achieve it.

JAKE: How do you do that then?

????: Traditionally? Worship. Belief. Faith. Admiration. Fear. Respect. All of these similar things and more directed at one person. I'd discovered it after observing energy from another world interacting with my own soul in a strange way.

????: Making it stronger....

????: The power of countless souls across thousands and thousands of worlds- worshiping the same ideal person for a certain thematic ability.

JAKE: Why does it work like that?

????: You're aware of how Skaia's Time Lines can diverge, creating multiple versions of yourself, yes?

JAKE: Yeah.

JAKE: Me and the others had at least one other life where everything collapsed and was reborn.

????: Reborn, hm?

JAKE: Is that not the right word?

????: I find your word choice interesting, but I will withhold from comment for now.

JAKE: You're quite the tease!

????: Am I? I hadn't noticed!

She- and it's almost certainly a she- giggles at that, lifting those clawed fingers to cover her mouth.

You can't help but to laugh as well.

You decide then, whether you wish to know this girl's CURRENT NAME or FORMER NAME. 

**> HECATE: Hug the PLUSHIE.**

You take the PLAGG PLUSHIE and HUG IT.

You.... Your heart yearns for the IDEA OF CHILDHOOD. You can feel the LOVE poured into the PLUSHIE given freely from its owner. 

A part of you wonders what it would be like- to be a carefree child, to grow freely without trauma before ascending to power like these children who play Skaia's Game.

Could there ever be a way? To escape this cycle of yours- being stuck drifting from one version of yourself to another? 

Surely, surely, there is a way- someone out there somewhere- who could rip your soul from your GAME CONSTRUCT of a body?

But alas, that is likely just a PIPE DREAM.  
  
 **> JAKE: Ask for her FORMER NAME.**

JAKE: Oh, before we continue.

JAKE: I decided.

JAKE: What's your former name?

YOMI: It was Yomi. Takanashi, Yomi.

JAKE: Huh. I feel like I should recognize that.

YOMI: That's actually a good Segway back to the subject I wished to talk to you about.

JAKE: Sure.

YOMI: The bifurcation of the soul is not a phenomenon unique to Paradox Space.

YOMI: Nor is the translation of a story across space and time into various other worlds.

YOMI: In some worlds, the story of one hero of one world can be considered the story of some fictitious writer.

YOMI: Is it not surprising then that with every choice a person has, that their soul can branch into Otherselves?

JAKE: No, not really.

YOMI: It is that migration of stories that provides the legend for worship- for faith and belief.

YOMI: Even if those who do worship that ideal do not realize it, by simply keeping such a character in their minds and their hearts, they send energy towards that particular person- an ideal.

YOMI: All that energy must go somewhere.

JAKE: Mmmh. Yeah, that makes sense.

JAKE: So out of every possible version of a person out there that exists, one is special enough to receive all that energy?

YOMI: Yes. It is a balance of power within the multiverse.

JAKE: So somewhere out there there's a story of us talking right now- or maybe some other story of me or anyone else from our Sburb Session- that people put a lot of faith and hope into?

YOMI: Yes.

JAKE: And out there, there might be a me, or someone else, that's specially gathering all of that energy outside of a normal SBURB God Tiering?

YOMI: If there is a version of your soul that does not hold the Skaian Trigger?

YOMI: Yes. That would be the case. Though, you personally held enough of a spark that- Well. I'm getting ahead of myself, I suppose.

JAKE: Huh. Okay. Ignoring that last part for a moment, that's all not really surprising to me so far.

YOMI: Oh? Why not?

JAKE: Well, I *am* a Movie Star!

JAKE: I'm kind of used to the idea of people thinking I'm something hot and special even though I'm just a normal person.

YOMI: You're an Actor?

JAKE: Yes, yes I am!

YOMI: What kind of movies?

JAKE: Oh well...

You proceed to spend the next FIFTEEN minutes talking about your most recent FILM PROJECT.

**> HECATE: Realize you just described the ROGUE OF HEART'S POWER.**

What? That's not how a ROGUE OF HEART works.

Rogues Steal a given thing/concept from a given Aspect for the benefit of those around them. Stealing your SOUL AWAY would have no real benefit for the players of this session. It's entirely a SELFISH WISH of yours. 

A Rogue of Heart would more than likely steal something FROM your Soul rather than steal your soul ITSELF. Perhaps something like your SKAIAN IMBUED DEPENDENCY on a RUNNING GAME in order to even FUNCTION. If your time in the VOID had been any longer than it had been, you likely would have GONE DORMANT waiting for the PLANETS to be moved into this session.

**> JAKE: Learn More **

YOMI: Interesting that your movie demonstrates the principle I was talking about so well.

YOMI: A Two sided ending... Two different outcomes.

YOMI: If your movie is finally made, let's imagine for a moment what your fans would do for each ending, shall we?

JAKE: Sure.

YOMI: If your character lives, will his popularity remain for future films?

JAKE: That all depends on if they'd ask me back for the sequel or not- and even then, if the script is good enough.

JAKE: I have no idea how the fans would react.

YOMI: Exactly.

YOMI: And if your character dies?

JAKE: They'll riot- and write tons of AU Fiction where I lived instead.

YOMI: Do you see then, how the devotion changes depending on if there is tragedy?

JAKE: So somewhere out there, if there's a real version of the character I played, he has those two outcomes...

JAKE: And depending on how my movie ends...

JAKE: The hope of the people who write the AU Fics is directed at a version of him that is still alive somewhere?

YOMI: Exactly.

YOMI: As to what kind of powered individual he would become if he ascended, that is not important to the discussion, however, let us say for the sake of completing the metaphor that he gains a Non-Skaian powered version of your Page of Hope Powers.

JAKE: Right.

YOMI: To Ascend a single world's worth of worship- it would take Centuries and Centuries more for that power to grow to the requisite levels- or one incredibly awe inspiring feat of circumstance that no-others could dare approach.

YOMI: Some souls would reincarnate, keeping that power, gaining it, however that is a rare exception to the rule.

YOMI: Generally, in my research, those who ascend, typically do so in a single life time- and almost always do it right at the very end of their life, natural or otherwise... and sometimes they require a catalyst. Others may not.

JAKE: Multiple worlds sending the same amount of energy... it'd be like multiplying it, right?

YOMI: Exactly.

JAKE: But you didn't wait that long, did you?

YOMI: No. I did not. I wanted my youth in addition to immortality. I was... inexperienced. I suppose that is the word.

YOMI: I have no idea what I would have become had I not done what I'd done.

JAKE: What did you do?

YOMI: I hunted down a girl whom I had grown up with- who had a soul capable of Ascending...

YOMI: She had been blackmailing me in recent years- horribly abusing me for even longer, forcing me to study the magic of necromancy to begin with. She wanted me to make her immortal in ways I had already researched and deemed unfitting for immortality. She refused to listen to reason and so...

YOMI: I felt no remorse in deciding to kill Kagari. That version of her... Someone like her should never have had the potential to Ascend.

YOMI: I killed her and I absorbed her accumulated powers, attempting to jump-start my own Ascension early.

JAKE: *gulp*

YOMI: It still wasn't enough.

YOMI: Other girls capable of Ascending whom I went to school with knew what I had done however. They had no idea as to my real motives.

YOMI: They came after me and reluctantly, I killed one of them, absorbing her power. It was enough- and I ascended on the spot. I ran, I'm not afraid to admit it.

JAKE: That seems like an incredibly large coincidence, three girls right around you.

YOMI: After my ascension, I'd travel to another world.

YOMI: I discovered that there had been a short anime series based around the lives of me and these girls- and our supernatural alter egos.

YOMI: We were all the focus of such intense worship.

YOMI: Ironically, I would discover later on that my character-self was given much more sympathy than the so called main star of it. All for having to put up with Kagari.

JAKE: Wow, that's.... Kind of messed up, I think.

YOMI: It was... and it Is.

YOMI: The final surviving girl Ascended, and she chased me out into the Multiverse.

YOMI: You asked me why I was living here in the void?

YOMI: It is the one place she has never searched.

YOMI: And that brings me to my third reason for talking with you.

YOMI: I felt the need to confess to someone before she finally finds me and ends me.

JAKE: How would she, though?

YOMI: The same way I found you.

YOMI: The sudden emergence of a whole planet inside the void of voids. Countless souls floating aimlessly, awaiting for their retrieval from stasis...

JAKE: So she's coming regardless of what we do?

YOMI: Indeed.

JAKE: And people like you can't normally get into a Sburb session, so therefore SHE couldn't follow us if we escaped??

YOMI: Indeed!!

JAKE: Is there a way to complete the trip? Pull us into Sburb??

YOMI: Not that I am aware of.

JAKE: Okay, so....

JAKE: What kind of powers do you have at your disposal? Anything that can travel magic us away somewhere?

YOMI: My domain is souls, almost exclusively. However, using those powers are a beacon to her. Even my subtle use on you would have give off ripples... Small ones that may be missed, yet using them to their fullest...

YOMI: She would come before we could blink.

JAKE: Then...

JAKE: Then I'll use my Page of Hope Powers to make a way out of here!

JAKE: I can tear a portal of pure hope into existence!!

YOMI: That would be a sight to behold.

JAKE: So, that's our choice then! Hope powers or Necromage powers!

YOMI: Mmmh. Then it is a choice we both have.

YOMI: Tear open space with the... less than pure souls on the planet you dragged along with you, or Hope a portal appears that will take us to safety.

JAKE: So, what do you want to do?

YOMI: You're asking me?

JAKE: I remember enough from my last life that I know having others make a decision for you is one of the worst feelings ever.

JAKE: But when I finally took charge for myself... I could do anything!

JAKE: So yeah, I'm asking you!

YOMI: I see...

**> YOMI: Try the option that does not bring an attacker down on you.**

YOMI: Let's.... let's go with the Hope Powers option.

YOMI: It should delay her arrival for long enough, I'd hope.

JAKE: Alright then.

JAKE: It's time for....

JAKE: *Puts on Movie star shades*

JAKE: Hope.

YOMI: *giggles*

**> JAKE: Exit**

Yomi leads you out of the CRYSTAL PALACE, and out onto a BALCONY overlooking a STASIS FROZEN EARTH. Wow, it looks so small from up here.

You can SEE some places where ONE OF THE DARK ANCHOR CHAINS still remains connected- but the chain's ANCHOR PORTAL is BROKEN OFF and MISSING. Huh.

That gives you an idea.

JAKE: How long have we been here?

YOMI: Time holds no meaning here in the void.

YOMI: It could be but seconds, it could have been decades.

YOMI: Or, it could have been the time span of whole universes.

JAKE: Yikes!

JAKE: But, yeah, I'm not surprised by that really.

JAKE: SBURB Sessions are outside a universes' normal flow of time so...

JAKE: Yeeeah....

JAKE: Okay, Idea time.

JAKE: See those chain remnants?

YOMI: Yes?

JAKE: Think you can connect this palace to them?

YOMI: Hmmm... Yes, that should be within the small subsection of my powers that aren't Necromantic in nature.

JAKE: Sweet! Let's do that and hopefully getting Earth to where it needs to go will take your palace along with it!

JAKE: Fair warning, I get the impression this might be pretty bright!!

JAKE: Soooo... cover your eyes maybe?

YOMI: You can't tell because of the hood but I'm already wearing a set of anti-glare goggles.

JAKE: Oh cool!

**> ==>**

You float out into the VOID and hover over EARTH. 

Yomi EXTENDS the ANCHOR CHAINS to connect to her PALACE- creating a faxsim... facksimi....Fraximi... Creating a MOCKUP of PROSPIT OR DERSE using EARTH as the base, and the PALACE as the MOON.

With that MENTAL IMAGE in your mind, you start BELIEVING WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT in CREATING A PORTAL back to YOUR FRIENDS!! You hope for seeing DIRK, JANE, ROXY, and even YUUI again! You HOPE for reuniting with YOUR DANCESTORS- Jade, Dave, Rose and JOHN!

And... maybe even some trolls? Yeah, sure- there were some nice Trolls!

You focus your MIGHTY WELLSPRING OF HOPEPOWER AND----!!!

**> !!?**

**_ZAAAP!!!_ **

You SUMMONED a JOHN EGBERT!

JOHN: what the...?

JOHN: this isn't the spirit base!

JAKE: JOHN! Land's sakes alive you're ALIVE!

JOHN: jake????

JOHN: what's going on?

JOHN: wait... this is...?

JAKE: We need to get out of here- can you take us to everyone else?

JOHN: ...well fuck this is a stable time loop i didn't know was a stable time loop.

JOHN: alright! i'll send you on back to the session on one condition!

JAKE: What's that?

JOHN: you don't tell anyone that i was the one to send you back.

JAKE: Why not??

JOHN: super secret stealth mission to fetch a super weapon to defeat lord english's bratty kid self.

JAKE: AHHA! Sure thing! My lips are sealed!

JAKE: ZUIIIP! Mister Zuipper Lips, that's me!

JOHN: heh.

**> JOHN: ZAP.**

Jake retreats into the STRANGE MOON PALACE THING, and once he gives you a thumbs up, you ZAP the SECOND EARTH and this STRANGE PALACE into the TROLL'S SESSION.

Job done, you turn and-

Oh, there's a SHINY BLUE STAR rocketing towards you.

As a matter of fact, you start to hear a screaming voice yelling out into the void.

Sort of a growing " _aaaaaaaaAAAA **AAAAAA**_ " noise.

You get a better look at the "STAR" And see that it is just a PROJECTED AURA created by a GIRL who is rocketing forwards via the propulsion provided by TWO MASSIVE CANNONS that seem to have replaced her arms.

_**BRS: AAAAAAAAAAAAH'LL KILL YOU, YAOVI!!!!!!** _

JOHN: welp, time to get out of here.

You ZAP AWAY just as the BLUE ROCKETING STARGIRL arrives upon the scene. No doubt she will be very confused by your SUDDEN DISAPPEARANCE. Probably with a flashing Question mark over her head and everything.

**> JOHN: Continue with mission.**

This time, you arrive at your INTENDED DESTINATION! The Kyoryuger SPIRIT BASE, currently residing on World #ZNT-S40-HLK1, located somewhere in the "Familiar of Zero" Cluster.

Your TEAM sits at the TABLE, enjoying an EARLY MORNING BREAKFAST while they prepare to deal with some LIFE FIBER INFESTATION set upon this world by their ROAMING ENEMY- TAILOR MOGAMI. 

They've taken up such a life so similar to the one you had lead until you met them- aimlessly wandering the cosmos, exploring all they can. The only difference between them and you is that THEY have each other, and you had NOTHING. 

You'll share your LAST MEAL with them, then you'll say your goodbyes, retrieve the SUPER WEAPON you requested TORIN work on in secret, and then....

They deserve that much, for all that they did for you, and all that you did for them.

You see that KUUKO is here for once. Not surprising, she's a girl who managed to ABSORB a fraction of your ZAPPY POWERS in a TIME TRAVELING TRAIN ACCIDENT involving a DARK ANCHOR and SOME LOOSER NAMED "ENTER." You'll have to pass the KYORYU GREY Powers onto her officially now, you suppose...   
  
Maybe once you're sure you don't need them any more, you'll give off the rest of your ZAPPY POWERS to her before you have her send you back to the Session.

She'll need them more than you, anyways, probably. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S AN INFO DUMP CHAPTER, SORRY!  
> \---  
> So yeah. Yomi/Yaovi gets introduced finally. And so too does Black Rock Shooter, rocketing across the multiverse trying to hunt her down.
> 
> ...Kagari really did a number in on these girls in that timeline- more true magic than whatever is normally going on in the BRS cluster. Forcing Yomi into necromancy to seek immortality while keeping up with her abusive behavior? YOWCH.
> 
> Also, we get a look at just one of the many worlds the Kyoryugers went to help on their five years hunting down The Tailor. It's a certain SAO-Crossover-with-Familiar-Of-Zero. Of which I'm sure there's only a few that should come to mind- (Coughs, but specifically it's TriggerHappy's Halkegnia Online in this case, or an instance OF it at any rate.)


	40. ACT 5: Completed Chain.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm tired, I've only got one chapter edited, so this is what u get for tonight lol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Samba dancing.  
> Karkat summarizes the situation.  
> Jane confronts a lot of dead bodies.

**> JAKE: Reunite with FRIENDS and FAMILY.**

You look out over a VERY COMPLEXLY SHAPED SESSION.

Two INTERSECTING RINGS of PLANETS orbiting a SKAIA with TWO BATTLEFIELDS.

Earth has VERY CONVENIENTLY fit into the FINAL OPEN SLOT.

Good going, John. Good Going.

Your I-PHONE starts BEEPING as PESTERCHUM finally RECONNECTS with your FRIENDS.

Oh god there's such a FLOOD OF MESSAGES coming through right now. 

You feel kinda sad that you caused them so much trouble- to you, you haven't even been GONE as long as you have from their perspective.

You look over to YOMI, as she pulls her hood down off of her head.

For the first time, you can see her face. And it is one of the most beautiful sights you've ever seen. Her green eyes are full of awe and wonder. It's entirely likely that she's never seen anything like this before in her entire life.... and in the light of Skaia's moon, her skin takes on a normal hue that, while pale, doesn't immediately set off the whole 'walking aspect of death' vibes she had going on before... then again maybe that was due to the void?? Or maybe it's a reflection of her mood??  
  
Either way, she's got this breathtaken look of awe- and looks nothing like a pseudo-deity-whatever and instead like a girl who's seeing something astonishing for the first time in her life.

YOMI: I can't believe it.

YOMI: I've... somehow made it under Skaia's Light.

YOMI: And... so many lights! Souls so beautiful that I can see them from all the way across the ... the Medium? Is that what it's called?

JAKE: Yeah.

JAKE: Wait, you can see people's souls from this far off?

YOMI: When they're all clustered together as they are, yes I can.

She points at a certain point, in the VEIL.

JAKE: Then let's go.

You offer Yomi your hand, and she lets you FLY HER across this STRANGE SESSION towards the METEOR.

You take the time to OPEN A MEMO as you travel.

\- galavantingTerrors [GT] opened MEMO "Guess who's back? Back Again? The Page Is Back- Tell a Friend!" On Board "Double Moebious Reacharound Take Two." -

GT: I'm back, in my Pagely Robes, ready to bring the Hope for everyone in need of it!

\- technoGal [TG] joined MEMO! -

TG: JAKEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYY

\- urianianhUntress [UU] joined MEMO! -

UU: JAKE!

\- temporallyTranslinear [TT1], ectoBiologist [EB], tentacleTherapist [TT2] joined MEMO! -

TT1: And just where the FUCK have you been out at this hour, Jake Harley?

GT: Well it's kind of a weird story...

TT2: Wait, I think he's coming to us. John?

EB: hey, jake just stay put for a moment i'll bring you to us!

GT: Oh, hey, John! Okay! Two to beam up!

You stop moving just long enough to see a PROTOTYPED MONSTER leaping your way.

YOMI: Just what the fuck is that?

JAKE: I have no idea.

A moment later- the WORLD AROUND YOU flashes BLUE, and then you're STANDING in a CROWDED METEOR LAB with a BUNCH OF OTHER PEOPLE!

As a ROGUE ROXY and a TROLL CALLIE suddenly engulf you in HUGS, you realize that Dirk is also God Tiered. When did that happen?

DIRK: Well. Fuck. You really weren't kidding about the Page Robes were you?

JAKE: Hahaha! No I was not!

CALLIE: and jUst who is this dashing lady yoU've broUght with you, hmm?

YOMI: (...She thinks i'm 'dashing'?)

YUUI: She looks like a necromancer.

YUUI: Jake, how the fuck did you find a necromancer?

JAKE: Well, like I said, it's a really weird story.

JAKE: Do we have the time for it or do we have to give a rousing smack down to whatever monster it was we saw coming at us before John retconned us over here?

ROXY: i call explains dibs this time!!

CALLIE: dang it, roxy! I was going to say that. UnU

JANE: It's good to have you back with us, Jake. :)

While all of this is going on, you finally spot JADE, who is... looking rather WEREWOLFISH. 

Wait, is that LEGIT? She's definitely GOD TIER so... 

Man, why is it that the girls in your life look better as werewolves- be they in makeup or legitimately lycanthropic- than you do? You'd like to have a few words with Paradox Space's Costume and Makeup Department Manager.

**> John: Dance the samba.**

While CALLIE AND ROXY fill Jake and his strange multiversal FRIEND in on events, you're approached by DIRK.

DIRK: Hey, so....

DIRK: It's been bugging me ever since I ascended.

JOHN: what has?

DIRK: That, ah... samba dance? I mean I thought it was completely ridiculous at the time but then the fact that you blew up a bunch of underlings...

DIRK: But anyways, it's just been bugging me that I can't figure out the moves to it.

DIRK: I mean it looks so simple yet kind of complex?

JOHN: oh! hahah! yeah, that.

JOHN: sure i'll show you.

JOHN: it's actually pretty simple, all things considered, although torin and eri have the simplest one.

JOHN: fam has the most complex one, actually- i don't think i could show you that even if i wanted to.

DIRK: Fam?

JOHN: our gold ranger.

JOHN: instead of samba, think... samurai? also swoopy. very swoopy and swishy.

DIRK: Huh. So your team has a lot of different music for your transformations?

JOHN: sort of. most of us use the same gaburevolver with the same music included.

JOHN: fam has an arm gauntlet thing- a gaburichanger and let me tell you sometime how she got it, because that was quite the story- and torin and eri have what we call the giga gaburevolver- which used to be silver but now are red and blue.

JOHN: yellow guns are samba, fam's is samurai, and the giga gaburevolver is rock.

DIRK: Huh.

DIRK: Okay let's start with the basic one.

JOHN: sure sure, just lemme set this thing to demo mode.

DIRK: Demo mode??

JOHN: okay so there's a story behind that

JOHN: there was this one monster that the team was fighting and one of the villains- who actually came to side with us after that- posioned the 'make my monster grow' water to include some kind of "genetic fear" of samba music!

DIRK: That sounds completely wild.

JOHN: i know, right? It was TOTALLY WILD!

JOHN: anyways so the team was on the down and out for the most part and then our red ranger accidentally spun the barrel of his revolver inside kyoryuzin and it freaking started playing the transformation music outside of a transformation!

JOHN: after that i was curious, so i looked into how the guns worked when slotted into the control consoles and basically there's a whole demo mode that it goes into so that it plays the music when it spins, but doesn't fire.

DIRK: Oh, a safety lever basically?

JOHN: yeah, anyways i can turn that on and it lets me play the music without having to transform, basically making it a toy prop.

JOHN: and done!

DIRK: Nice.

DIRK: Okay so what first?

JOHN: okay so let's pretend you've got a revolver to... ah, let's skip over the whole battery gimmick thing because that's kind of useless since you don't actually have one... soooo yeah just stand like this for "ready!"

DIRK: Left hand goes up against the barrel?

JOHN: yup

JOHN: and then you yell KYORYU CHANGE and spin it.

DIRK: I am so not doing that.

JOHN: that's fine

JOHN: okay so first you kick your left leg back like this,

DIRK: Okay

JOHN: then back to idle, then cross, then lift pressure off left leg and spin.

DIRK: Okay that's kind of a weird thing to do.

JOHN: hahah you kinda got to do it fast with the music otherwise you'll get too caught up with the footwork.

JOHN: then once the spin is done, aim in a chosen direction- either up or at a target, and FIRE!

DIRK: Okay I think I've got this. Let's try with the music.

You nod, and get into the ready position- by this time you've earned the CURIOUS STARES of most of the TROLLS.

MEENAH: okay water u guppys up to anyways?

RHOZEE: I think it's something John picked up in his travels?

ARADIA: sh00sh! i want t0 see h0w dirk d0es.

JOHN: KYORYU CHANGE!

*SAMBA MUSIC!*

Predictably, you get the motions right on the first try- Dirk trips up on the spin and winds up flat on his back.

ARADIA: pfffffffhahahahah!!

MEENAH: smooth moves, whales.

DIRK: Yeah yeah, let's try that again.

Dirk gets up and he's going to try it again when-

DAVE: no no no no! that's all wrong

DIRK: What?

DAVE: let me show you how a real sentai expert does it

DAVE: jesus christ i mean come on dudes did you even spend any time sitting in front of a computer watching it first before you tried this?

JOHN: what??

DAVE: look lemme just

DAVE: where did i put that thing- wait, ah found it!

Dave pulls out his own GABUREVOLVER from his SYLLADEX, along with a TOYETIC ZYUDENCHI. You can tell it's a TOY and not the real thing because it's clearly made out of PLASTIC and NOT METAL.

DAVE: yo, check it

DAVE: brave in

The toy battery activates, and then Dave smoothly performs the tail-handle trigger with the wrist thing that you never really got down and then he slides the battery into the gun, then---

DID HE SERIOUSLY just do a full finger twirl around the trigger guard to close it!?

_GABURINCHO! GABUTYRA!_

He Did.

WOW.

DAVE: kyoryu change and a one two three-

He spins the barrel of the gun and does a perfectly timed SAMBA DANCE to it- pulling it off even with the KNIGHT CAPE hanging off of his back adding rediculous drag and yet somehow managing to look flawlessly SMOOTH.

DAVE: fire in the hole

The gun gives off a set of FINISHING SOUNDS that normally would accompany a real transformation. But yeah, that's just the GABUREVOLVER he got for CHRISTMAS, so of course it's not going to do anything with a TOY ZYUDENCHI.

DIRK: Wow.

DIRK: How the fuck did he know to do that?

DAVE: i watch super sentai so what?

MEENAH: what a buncha dorks

RHOZEE: I thought the cape flourish was a nice touch.

ARADIA: hey, j0hn, can i try next?

JOHN: sure!

DIRK: I'm just going to keep practicing that in private, where nobody can see me fail.

DAVE: smart idea

JADE: argo?

ARGO: yeah?

JADE: did we just seriously watch people we're definitely 100% genetically related to do a henshin dance from a japanese sentai show?

ARGO: i do believe we just did.

JADE: okay good, i just wanted to make sure that the dorky-ness was genetic and i wasn't hallucinating.

ARGO: um, alright.

ARGO: pretty sure we're missing some key context though, as to how john did it, though.

Elsewhere in the room, Rezi's laughter echoes.

**> JAKE + YOMI: Get caught up.**

JAKE: Okay good, we're caught up now...

JAKE: Uh....

JAKE: What did we miss?

JADE: just our family being silly, jake! :)

**> BRAIN GHOST DIRK: Exist.**

You're a BRAIN GHOST of DIRK STRIDER. You don't really need to step forwards or anything right now, though. REGULAR DIRK and JAKE seem to be doing fairly well all things considered- both being GOD TIER at the moment and OH, hey, look, the SHOUTY TROLL is speaking!

**> KARKAT: SUMMARIZE**

KARKAT: HEAR ME HEAR ME EVERYONE FUCKING PAY ATTENTION!

KARKAT: TEAM MEETING BEGINS RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

KARKAT: I WANT *EVERYONE* LOOKING ALIVE AND FUCKING ATTENTIVE!

KARKAT: IS EVERYONE READY FOR THIS? YES? NO? WELL TOO BAD BECAUSE WE'RE FUCKING STARTING.

KARKAT: ARANEA, IS EVERYONE LOOKING?

ARANEA: Everyone is looking, it seems.

KARKAT: GOOD. ALRIGHT.

KARKAT: THE SITUATION AS IT STANDS IS THIS:

KARKAT: OUR SESSION HAS FUSED WITH TWO OTHER SESSIONS- THE 'OUR' QUANITIFYER IN THIS SITUATION DOES NOT MATTER WHICH SPECIFIC SESSION. CONSIDER THE 'OUR' TO BE INDICATIVE OF EACH OF OUR THREE SESSIONS, ALRIGHT?

DAVE: yeah we get it.

KARKAT: THIS HAS CREATED WHAT RHOZEE IS CALLING A:

RHOZEE: Double Mobious Skaian Orbit.

KARKAT: YES, THAT.

KARKAT: WE NOW HAVE *TWO* BATTLEFIELDS, AND TWO DIFFERENT PLANET SETS.

KARKAT: WITH THE ADDITION OF JAKE AND WHOEVER-ELSE HE AND HIS NECROMANTIC DEATH GODDESS BHROUGHT THROUGH WITH THEM FROM THE FURTHEST REACHES OF OUR 'GOD CAN WE MOVE ON ALREADY' IMAGINATIONS- WE NOW HAVE A FULL COLLECTION OF TWENTY PLANETS.

KARKAT: IF WE'D ENTERED WITH THAT AMOUNT, GOD WOULD WE BE FUCKING SCREWED.

KARKAT: THANKFULLY FOR US, WE ENTERED IN A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT GROUPS.

KARKAT: THANKS TO THE ENIGMATIC PRESENCE OF A DUPLICATED KNIGHT OF TIME-

STIRDER: yo

KARKAT: -WE NOW HAVE ONE OF THREE OF THE QUEEN RINGS NECESSARY FOR IGNITING THE FORGE.

KARKAT: TECHNICALLY, WE HAVE ONE AND A HALF, SINCE REGULAR FLAVOR DAVE HAS A BROKEN VERSION OF THE SAME RING FROM THEIR SESSION- THE SECOND HUMAN SESSION.

KARKAT: (WHICH WE DISCOVERED FIRST FOR SOME FUCKING REASON BUT WHATEVER.)

ARGO: so we've still got a working Cataclysm Ring? SWEET!

KARKAT: IN ADDITION TO THAT RING- THERE IS THE WHITE QUEENS RING FROM THE FIRST HUMAN SESSION- WHICH IS CURRENTLY OUT THERE IN THE WILD AS THAT PROTOTYPED MONSTER THAT'S HARASSED US EVER SINCE WE STARTED ENTERING THIS PARTICULAR INSTANCE OF SBURB/SGRUB/UNITED REPUBLIC OF WHATEVER.

ERIDAN: HEY! that's my line, kar...

KARKAT: IN FURTHER ADDITION IS THE RING PAIR FROM *THIS* SESSION- WHICH IS A TWELVE TIMES PROTOTYPED RING, COMPARED TO THE MEASLY FOUR ORBS WHICH GAVE THE HUMAN SESSIONS SO MUCH FUCKING TROUBLE.

KARKAT: I DON'T NEED TO SPELL IT OUT, BUT THOSE RINGS ARE IN THE WIND.

KARKAT: SOMEHOW THAT PROTOTYPED MONSTER OUT THERE *BEAT* AND POSSIBLY *ATE* BOTH QUEENS. WHETHER OR NOT SHE'S WEARING ONE OF THEIR PROTOTYPING RINGS IS UNKNOWN, BECAUSE APPARENTLY A GENETICALLY ENGINEERED SUPER PREDATOR HAS ABOUT AS MUCH DISPLAY PROMINENCE AS A FUCKING FIRST GUARDIAN- AND *THANK FUCKING GOD* THAT THOSE ARE NOLONGER A THING THAT NEED TO BE AVOIDED IN OUR PROTOTYPING CHOICES!

TAVROS: bid i mUSS hoW deY wern'B a BHINGH?

KARKAT: TAKE A FUCKING LOOK AT THE FURTHEST RING, TAVROS, AND THEN COME BACK WHEN YOU SEE THE FUCKING BLACK HOLE THAT REPLACED THE GREEN SUN.

KARKAT: BECAUSE EVEN AT THIS DISTANCE THAT SHOULD BE PRETTY OBVIOUS IN THE FUCKING SKY.

ERIDAN: i'vve nevver seen it either...

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK, SERIOUSLY?

KARKAT: IT'S UP THERE. IN THE SKY. IF YOU HAVE WORKING EYES TAKE A GANDER UPWARDS- OR DOWNWARDS, OR EVEN SIDEWARDS DEPENDING ON YOUR CURRENT PERSPECTIVE AND PLANET OF CHOICE- EVERY ONCE AND A WHILE, YOU'VE GOT NO EXCUSE FOR MISSING THIS ONE EXCEPT FOR THE HORRIBLE MONSTER WANTING TO KILL US ALL AND EVEN THEN THERE'S _**AT LEAST** _FIVE WINDOWS IN THIS ROOM THAT I CAN SEE RIGHT THIS FUCKING SECOND FRAMING IT PERFECTLY RIGHT NOW SO-!

KARKAT: I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO TOUCH ON THIS ONE FURTHER THAN THAT! _COME ON, GRUB_!

KARKAT: MOVING THE FUCK ON.

KARKAT: DESPITE THE QUEENS BEING TAKEN OUT OF THE PICTURE, THE BATTLEFIELD NATIVE TO THIS SESSION STILL HAS THE KINGS ACTIVE ON IT- WITH THEIR FULL PROTOTYPINGS.

KARKAT: WE SHOULD ONLY BE SO FORTUNATE THAT THE RECKONING HASN'T STARTED YET BECAUSE GOD DAMN WOULD THAT BE A FUCKING PRESSURE TO ADD ONTOP OF EVERYTHING ALREADY.

KARKAT: BECAUSE REALLY- IF WE STAY HERE ANY LONGER IT'S ENTIRELY POSSIBLE WE'LL FUCKING EXILE OURSELVES BY SHEER NATURE OF STANDING AROUND LIKE FUCKING IDIOTS.

REZI: H34R H34R!

KARKAT: SO OUR FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS IS RHOZEE'S PLAN TO CLEAR THE FUCKING SESSION OF MONSTERS.

KARKAT: IF ANY OF YOU MISSED WHAT THE MINUTA DETAILS ARE- SUCKS TO BE YOU, JUST FOLLOW WHOEVER *DOES* KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING, ALRIGHT?

KARKAT: BUT JUST SO THAT EVERYONE IS AWARE, STEP ONE IS DERINGING THE PROTOTYPED MONSTER THAT CAME FROM THE FIRST KID'S SESSION.

KARKAT: IF YOU'RE UP FOR VOLUNTEERING FOR THAT GODDAMNED SUICIDE MISSION, BE AWARE THAT WE'VE RECENTLY BEEN GIVEN A SURPRISING BOON IN THE FORM OF THE NECROMANCER WITCH JAKE BROUGHT WITH HIM.

KARKAT: APPARENTLY SHE CAN MAKE YOU GOD TIER ON COMMAND.

KARKAT: CALLIE'S TALKED WITH HER AND JANE ON IT- AND WE'RE PRETTY SURE THAT TOGETHER, THEY CAN PROVIDE US ALL WITH ATLEAST TWO EXTRA LIVES, IF YOU'RE NOT GOD TIERED.

KARKAT: FIRST LIFE IS THE STANDARD GODTIER RESURRECTION, SECOND IS JANE'S MAID OF LIFE POWER TO RESURRECT ANY ONE PERSON ONCE- EVEN IF IT'S A JUST OR HEROIC DEATH.

KARKAT: FURTHER MORE, IF FEFERI OR MEENAH GOD TIER, WE'RE PRETTY SURE THAT THEY BOTH HAVE AN ALL-WOUNDS-HEAL POWER THAT- IF THEY CAN GET TO YOU BEFORE YOU BLEED OUT- WILL ALWAYS HEAL YOUR WOUNDS AND KEEP YOU FROM NEEDING A SPARE LIFE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

FEFERI: SQU-------------EE!! I'm so ---------EXCIT-----------ED! 38D

KARKAT: OUR SECOND ORDER OF FUCKING BUSINESS IS FINISHING THE FUCKING GAME.

KARKAT: WE CAME SO CLOSE IN THE PREVIOUS VERISON OF REALITY- I MEAN, WE FUCKING HAD THE GENESIS FROG FLYING UP INTO SKAIA WHEN THE UNIVERSE FUCKING RAN INTO A WALL AND BROKE ITS NECK.

KARKAT: WHILE WE HAVE OUR FIGHTERS WORKING ON ELIMINATING THE MONSTER THREAT- BOTH DAVES AND DIRK WILL BE ASSISTING JADE, CALLIE, AND KANAYA WITH BREEDING *TWO* GENESIS FROGS.

KARKAT: YES YES, YOU HEARD ME RIGHT- EVERYONE STOP FUCKING GASPING ALREADY.

KARKAT: IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE.

KARKAT: WE'VE GOT TWO PLANET CHAINS AND TWO FUCKING BATTLEFIELDS.

KARKAT: AND AS ADULT DAVE SO APTLY PUT IT:

STRIDER: let's not put all our fucking hopes on one single frog.

STRIDER: we never did that at jurassic world, and we're not doing that here.

STRIDER: fucking hell, we have ellie and elise as prime examples as to why you should always make at least TWO of a genome sequence for a given project instead of one.

KARKAT: THANK YOU.

KARKAT: ONCE WE'VE CREATED OUR TWO FROGS, ONTO THE THIRD ORDER OF FUCKING BUSINESS.

KARKAT: KILLING LORD ENGLISH.

KARKAT: JOHN HAS *OH SO WONDERFULLY* MANAGED TO PRESERVE THE EARTH THAT HE APPARENTLY GROWS UP ON.

KARKAT: IT ALREADY HAS THE METEOR THAT THE PAST VERSION OF US LIVED ON FOR THREE YEARS STUCK ON IT, SO THAT'S A "BOON."

KARKAT: AS FAR AS THE IMPUDENT LITTLE CHERUB WILL THINK, EVERYTHING WILL BE GOING EXACTLY HIS WAY...

KARKAT: AND THAT'S WHEN WE'LL FUCKING STRIKE THE IRON WHILE IT'S IN THE CHILL POOL.

KARKAT: NOTE MY USE OF 'IRON' METAPHOR.

KARKAT: WE'RE FULLY EXPECTING VRISKA SERKET TO INTERVENE AND PREVENT US FROM STOPPING HIM.

KARKAT: IF YOU'RE NOT IN THE LOOP OF THE DETAILS- GOOD. YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE. YET.

KARKAT: BECAUSE THE THIRD ORDER OF THE DAY IS BEING PUT OFF WELL UNTIL WE'RE NEAR THE VERY LAST STAGES OF THE SECOND ORDER OF THE DAY.

KARKAT: AND THE SECOND ORDER CAN ONLY BE PUT INTO MOTION AFTER WE'VE BURIED THE FIRST ORDER SIX FEET UNDER A FUCKING METEOR CORPSE.

KARKAT: ANY QUESTIONS?

ERIDAN: yeah i-

KARKAT: NO? NO QUESTIONS? NOT FROM ANYONE?

KARKAT: OKAY. GOOD.

KARKAT: MEETING FUCKING ADJOURNED.

KARKAT: EVERYONE GET TO WORK.

**> VRISKA: Examine SUDDEN OBSESSION with STRONG BAD.**

Ugh, there's a HORRORTERROR that keeps repeating those two words over and over. You think it could be a person- but maybe it's a warning of some kind? Strong = Bad? PFT, as if. Then again, LORD ENGLISH was rather STRONG in his heyday... so maybe the GIBBERING MASS OF UNFATHOMABLE IDENTITY is referencing that?

_**...Nah, you're pretty sure it's just TROLLING YOU.** _

**> JOHN: Check EARTH for survivors.**

You CHECK the NEWLY IMPORTED EARTH and find that THE ENTIRE WORLD'S POPULATION is being kept in some kind of INDUCED COMA STATE. Slowly, the planet seems to be waking up...

It looks like the only FATALITIES are the JACKASSES of the world who ended up dying from THEIR OWN STUPIDITY.

Seriously, who fills a SWIMMING POOL with Vodka and sets it on FIRE? That's just insane.

**> YOMI + JANE: GATHER and EXAMINE BODIES.**

John ZAPS you and Yomi, plus, a decent chunk of the dead bodies whose corpses were TOO MANGLED BY THEIR OWN ACTIONS, to a DIFFERENT METEOR than the one everyone was hiding on- just because of the sheer smell of all the corpses.

JANE: Urgh- burnt flesh smells horrid... along with all the regular decay too..

JANE: Bleh!

YOMI: You get used to it the longer you work with corpses.

JANE: How long has that been for you?

YOMI: Longer than I care to remember.

JANE: Fair enough...

Yomi kneels and inspects a RELATIVELY INTACT corpse among the MASSES.

YOMI: This one's soul departed long, long ago. I suspect the rest of the dead will be in a similar state.

JANE: How long ago are we talking here?

YOMI: Centuries.

JANE: B-but they're so....

YOMI: Fresh?

JANE: Yes!!!

YOMI: A side-effect of the void your Earth was in.

YOMI: Time holds no meaning there, and yet it always holds true.

YOMI: It was there for long enough for the souls of those who died to depart from their vessels, awaiting either rebirth in another world, or were merged with another version of themselves who had not died.

YOMI: And yet- time stood still, and nothing decayed. Even from my perspective it seemed to not even be there for that long.

JANE: Gosh, that's so...

JANE: Horrible!

YOMI: And yet useful for us.

YOMI: With their souls vacant from the remains, I can change their flesh to be something we can use.

JANE: I'm still having a bit of trouble getting used to this idea.

JANE: But UGH, we don't have enough Grist left to mass alchemize enough Bantam Guars, cheap as they are...

YOMI: There's every possibility that the Monster would see through that ruse anyways.

YOMI: This way, with Dirk and his Father's knowledge on Elise's dietary habits...

YOMI: We can at least be sure the new smell we will be creating from these corpses will attract her attention to this desolate rock.

JANE: You know... I really wonder how the hell we would have done this if Jake hadn't found you.

YOMI: In my experience, the threads of fate are interwoven like a delicately written song.

YOMI: You would have found a way, if my involvement turns out to have been easily replacable by anyone else.

YOMI: I have silently observed a few others Ascend during my time as a Reaper. It is always with a similar aspect of...

Her voice trails off and her mouth continues to move, and once she finishes, then frowns as if she just realized something.

YOMI: Sorry, I don't think I can pronounce it in an understandable way.

YOMI: It was from a very poetic world.

YOMI: I think the closest equivalent would be "a Musical crescendo hidden as an ironic coincidence."

JANE: It's a nice sentiment, at any rate.

YOMI: I suppose it is.

YOMI: Now then, let's create a Flesh Atronach, shall we?

JANE: *gulp*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tired, not got much to say here except that here's where that one reader started obsessing over strong bad for some strange reason. i still have no idea who that is and, even if i did know, i blocked it out and i rightly don't care at the present time. let me be in blissful ignorance please.
> 
> oh, right, yeah, karkat's 'look up' thing. of everyone who's able bodied and able to crane their heads upwards- how many of us actually do that? like, this is self critical here i dont look upwards nearly as often as i think i do- and not even just in real life, try it in video games. you'd be surprised how often ill look up in first person and see something up above me that i didnt see before. 
> 
> its also a meta jab at the fact that this was a text adventure and not an art-bound endeavor at the time. if it were-- that black hole would be so prominent in every freaking wide shot you have no idea. the idea that people missed it in universe is a jab at my own laziness at not drawing it. so. yeah. self own there x2 combo.


	41. END OF ACT 5 ACT 1: ASCEND COMBO ROYAL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fancy music, some chatloggyness. Annnd... A Plan is Executed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Temporary Character Deaths.  
> Reburying the dead.  
> Unholy Flesh Abominations.  
> Timed Music Sequence.

**> JACK: Meet the WHITE ROYALTY.**  
  
You are now the ONE ARMED JACK NOIR from a CERTAIN SESSION.

On the NEUTRAL FIELDS of the LAND OF FROST AND FROGS, you've somehow managed to arrange a meeting with the WHITE QUEEN of yet ANOTHER SESSION. It's just the ICING ON THE CAKE that all of this is happening in YET ANOTHER SESSION in which NEITHER OF YOUR SURVIVING CIVILIZATIONS are native to.

God, if the YOU OF THIS SESSION ever found out you were legitimately trying to broker peace, you're sure you would stab yourself in the eyes, and maybe cut off your other arm while you're at it....

That sentence got a little weird just now and you've got a slight headache just thinking about it.

The Queen has a DERSITE AUTHORITY REGULATOR at her side, he looks rather surprised, and also angry, by your presence. He's wearing the PROSPITIAN VERSION of the Regulator Uniform. You wonder what the story behind THAT is? 

Maybe you'll find out after you tell your tale. Pleasantry greetings put through the door, you quickly begin explaining the situation your session endured- how the FIRST PROTOTYPING drove just about everyone INSANE and ended up with a HUGE CHUNK of both moon's populations DEAD.

There was an Evacuation, a Scratch, and then some FANCY LIGHTS, and now here you are.

The White Queen tells a SIMILAR TALE, one of a BETRAYER of her own ranks who caused chaos across both worlds- and then the sheer AUDACITY the YOU OF HER SESSION had towards KIDNAPPING THE PROSPITIAN PRINCESS after KILLING YOUR OWN QUEEN!

You'll admit, you didn't quite see that coming, and you say as much. You mean, DAMN, alt you must have felt really confident in his plan there. What exactly happened to him?

The Parcel Mistress steps forwards, and asks if she can whisper it into your ear, so that those with SENSITIVE STOMACHS are spared the GORY DETAILS.

You ascent to that, and listen as she tells the story of alt-you's DEMISE in EXCRUCIATING DETAIL. Second by second, blow by blow....

You'll admit your CARAPACE has gotten a few shades lighter upon hearing how your alternate self DIED.

You immediately promise that you WILL NEVER do anything like that for as long as you live. You even show your ONE REMAINING HAND that your FINGERS AREN'T CROSSED. 

You mean it, too.

God, damn, if any other yous out there hear about this your JACK NOIR CRED is going to be flushed down the toilet faster than you had your ARM TORN OFF.

**> YOMI: Create a FLESH ATRONACH.**

You do such, mainly because JANE is too busy trying not to throw up upon watching SOLID FLESH MOVE LIKE IT WERE A LIQUID.

You feel sorry for the girl- She is not cut out for necromancy at all.

**> JADE: Re-bury BEC.**

You're not sure HOW the hell Bec's body got into the void that Jake pulled his earth out of, or why Yomi gave you his soul trapped within a CRYSTAL NECKLACE, but the long and short of it is that you'll have to bury his body again because his soul has fully DISCONNECTED from his body and would DRIFT OFF if any attempts were made in putting it back into his body.

You're also FAIRLY ANNOYED by this, but you'll CONCEDE TO THE WISDOM of someone who has had A LOT OF NECROMANTIC EXPERIENCE that nothing can really be done at this point.

For now, you'll just be glad that you now have the choice of WHEN to release BEC'S SOUL. So you have a chance to have a PROPER GOODBYE this time, at least.

You just need to decide where to bury him. 

You'd consider going with ARGO to bury JASPERS and her own MOTHER, but that just seems a little too... public for your personal tastes.

**> LALONDES: Hold FUNERAL**

You are now MARRIN. With A JOHN somewhere nearby providing WINDY COVERAGE of your SCENTS, the LALONDE FAMILY- spread across three different iterations of reality- holds a funeral for those dearly departed.

ROXY: this if friggin strange.

ARGO: it is.

The first body to go in the ground was Argo's MOM, the ADULT ROXY LALONDE.

ROXY: i'm lookin at my own dead self.

ROXY: srsly this just weird.

ARGO: and i'm looking at my own mother as a teen.

ARGO: all the while we're burying YOU and HER and--- ARGGHHHHH

ARGO: when did my life get so fucking complicated!?!?

Argo starts screaming in frustration.

You look down at the second body set to go in- the CORPSE of JASPERS. Argo's PET CAT who.... you're pretty sure shared a portion of your SOUL. 

Rhozee pats you on the shoulder and shakes her head.

RHOZEE: Try not to think about it.

RHOZEE: Let's just say it's the Lalonde family tradition is to have Paradox Funerals and leave it at that.

ARGO: okay, let's put jaspers in...

A CAT meows- this BEATRICE Roxy's holding. Around its neck is a CRYSTAL NECKLACE that supposedly holds the SOUL of the cat you're about to bury. You desperately wish to NEVER TOUCH EITHER, because who knows what would happen to you if that happens.

You put the DEAD CAT ALT SELF into the ground next to the other body and back away as quickly as possible.

ROXY: soooo...

ROXY: anyone got any words?

RHOZEE: Not personally, no.

ARGO: ...don't really wanna talk right now...

You shake your head, knowing that even if you had anything to say, it likely wouldn't be heard.

Silence reigns as the four of you quickly work to using shovels to replace the dirt you'd dug up...

At least it isn't raining here on the Land of LIGHT and FORESTS.

**> VRISKA: Be distracted.**

Now there are Horrorterrors rambling about INANE TELEVISION SHOWS and CARTOONS AND GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

JUST.

SHUT.

UP!!!!!!!!

NO! STOP! STOP GNASHING YOUR TEETH, YOU! 

AND NO MAKING CHILDREN CRY! YOU! HEY! YES! YOU, YOU'RE TALKING TO YOU! DON'T YOU GO SLIDING AWAY AND PRETENDING TO HIDE. YOU'RE TALKING HERE AND YOU'D ALL BETTER PAY FUCKING ATTENTION!!!!!!!!

...Needless to say you're PRETTY BUSY RIGHT NOW.

**> PROTOTYPED MONSTER: What is that?**

Suddenly, a PRESSURE IN YOUR MIND eases up, and you're feeling... a bit more like yourself.

You look around... and then you catch wind of a SCENT.

It's a METEOR IN THE VEIL.

And it... SMELLS...

DELICIOUS.

You quickly access the powers of ONE OF THIS SESSIONS' QUEEN'S RINGS, which you aren't wearing properly on a finger, but instead have nestled inside your mouth ontop of one of your SHARP TEETH. The powers are accessible, but not the prototyping forms, in this way.

You're not sure WHAT OR WHO POSSESSED YOU to do something like that, but it's actually QUITE THE LOOK, you'd think. It also TASTES GOOD when you rub your tongue over it.

You TAKE OFF with ease, and shoot into the VEIL towards that meteor.  
  
 **> STRONG BAD THE HORRORTERROR + DIRK THE HORRORTERROR: Continue bothering VRISKA**

Oh god and now they've taken on the shapes of PEOPLE. URGHHHHHHHH....

Now they're POKING YOU with STICKS. Where did they even get STICKS!??!

**> ==>**

You are now the PROTOTYPED MONSTER as she arrives at the meteor. There is a LAB, full of ABANDONED ECTO BIOLOGY EQUIPMENT.

It brings back MEMORIES. You are sure this is a CARAPACIAN CLONING METEOR.

You stalk down the halls, following the smells of FRESH MEAT. Your stomach GROWLS in anticipation.

No thought is spared towards the SUDDEN APPEARANCE of this new delightful smell- after all, a whole PLANET APPEARED very recently. Things appearing out of thin air is JUST A THING that happens. Hell, to the people of this session, YOU appeared out of thin air, so....

That's when the THING giving off the SMELL comes into view.

It's TEN TIMES TALLER than you are- it has LARGE PIECES OF METAL put on its arms to replace HANDS, and... are those SPIKES jutting out of its back? Not to mention the sheer UGLYNESS in its facial area and... well.... with every step it takes, its entire body JIGGLES like someone threw a rock into a bowl of JELL-O.

How something so visually repulsing can smell so good, you cannot figure out, but that's okay, because you're going to try EATING IT ANYWAYS.

**> TRAP: SPRING.**

As you leap towards the monster there is a LOUD BANGING SOUND.

Your instincts fail you a moment too late- you're dodging, but your NON-RING-WEARING ARM is CUT OFF by some AIR-BLADE!!

Your arm lands on the ground nearby, before DISAPPEARING entirely. Damn it, you were REALLY ATTACHED to that arm.

**> PROTOTYPED MONSTER: Look around.**

Surrounding you are DIRK, DAVE, MEENAH, ARANEA, YOMI, JANE, ROXY, JOHN, ARADIA, KARKAT, and CALLIE.

You, of course, do not know these names at all, but the narrator puts them in here for the sake of convenience. 

**> MARRIN: Where are the others?**

Hiding with you, waiting for PHASE TWO of this attack to start.

**> PHASE ONE: Attack.**

Everyone with a valid close range weapon charges in at FULL SPEED.

Dirk and Dave try their best to DISARM the monster- John and Karkat dive in either cut its feet off or bash its head in- Meenah goes for the mouth with her 2X3DENT. 

Callie readies a pistol and Aradia readies her whip while standing infront of Yomi and Jane in case things are about to go horribly wrong.

**> PROTOTYPED MONSTER: Regret life decisions.**

Boy do you have Regrets.

Like one of them right now is the loss of your ar-- ***DOOF* - _NAK!_**

_*gulp*_

....

You dodged the TRIDENT and got a HAMMER TO THE TEETH for your troubles....

You think you just SWALLOWED the TWELVE ORB RING, including the tooth it was wrapped around.

Why did you even possibly think that was a good idea, again?

**> MARRIN: Interject**

You got a BAD FEELING about this, and so YELL A WARNING.

Yomi is the only one who hears you- who in turns relays it to the others: "BACK AWAY!! QUICKLY!"

Everyone does such just before the PROTOTYPED MONSTER'S FORM begins to DESTABILIZE and RANDOMLY TAKE ON the appearances of the RINGS PROTOTYPING CONTENTS.

There is no rhyme, nor order to this chaos.

Things are about to go bad very, very pawfully quick.

_**> ========>!!!!!!!!** _

Horror Terrors continue to annoy VRISKA with their shambling, annoying presence. 

Eventually, Vriska roars in anger as she engages RAGE MODE.

Her PSYCHIC POWERS lash out and grab hold of the HORRORTERROR that Mockingly called itself "Strong Bad The Great" and she BREAKS ITS MIND.

The HORRORTERROR impersonating DIRK STRIDER quickly makes the wise choice to ABSCOND.

He doesn't get very far before the mindless corpse of his fellow is thrown at him.

**VRISKA: Now...**

**VRISKA: That is just ENOU8GH OF TH8T!!!!!!!!**

With a hiss of anger, she refocuses her mental grasp back towards the Prototyped Monster and tries to find where she left off at...

* * *

[ **> [S] ASCEND** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9gGXYbtSt8)

The Second Attack Team leaps into the fray- with everyone else who is able to fighting. Tavros is absent- because of his broken nose and general inability to be silent.

Everyone is pretty much beaten up after several minutes of strifing with a rapid fire form changer on the field.

Anyone who is not a God Tier in terms of power is probably bleeding out or on the verge of dying. Even the FLESH ATRONACH was torn to shreds by one powerful PSYCHIC BLAST from Sollux's Prototyping.

Like Aranea here- she's currently being strangled to death by a TENTACLE LIMB that sprouted out of the CUT OFF ARM.

Gosh, that's bringing back some unpleasant memories for her.

Not that she has much time to focus on it- SNAP!- she's dropped to the floor.

Correction, anyone who is not a God Tier was pretty easily mowed down within the first five minutes of this Twelve Times Prototyped Ring and is pretty much already on Death's Door.

Good thing they have a Reaper on their side here, hm?

**[0:15]**

While John and Rhozee try to keep the Monster Busy for the moment- Yomi begins to cast her spell. The Souls of the players who had not yet God Tiered all rise up and begin to circle around the room as their Aspect Elements begin to manifest over their bodies.

Those still alive, but taking a brief rest to recover from their wounds, watch on in awe as life and light begin to fill the room from all angles.

**[0:30]**

From outside the Meteor, everywhere in the Session- all eyes are drawn up towards that one pinprick of light in the Veil where something incredible is definitely about to happen.

Every planet owned by a player about to Ascend glows as well- sending precious life energy towards their players in the form of swarms of streams of rainbow flickering light.

**[0:45]**

Back in the Meteor, it becomes unbarable to do anything but stand there as so much light fills the room- swirling both into the souls of the players about to ascend and their bodies as well.

And all the while- Yomi stands there directing the flow like a conductor of a symphony. Her black and green robes themselves seem to change as well- becoming less monotone and obviously necromantic, and instead shifting into something more.... Sburbian.

**[1:00]**

With a flash- the symbol for Heart appears on her chest as her clothes take on the hues of that aspect, and shift into what all recognize as the WITCH CLASS.

The Souls in the room began circling faster and faster before shooting down into their proper bodies- which then begin to rise up into the air as they properly...

_ **ASCEND.** _

**[1:19]**

Symbols for various Aspects flash through the room in time to unheard, yet recognized music, as clothes change from mundane, to GOD TIER, and wounds of all kind heal up as the blood left behind fades away into the ether.

John has a happy grin on his face as all of this transpires.

The Prototyped Monster's eye twitches as Vriska finally gets a single tendril back in- just in time to watch all of her plans go to shit, and then that connection is cut for good.

**[1:33]**

The Meteor Explodes with all the energy flowing through it- leaving a grand total of TWENTY GOD TIERS floating in the space surrounding the Rapidly Shifting Prototyped Monster.

Almost immediately- all leap into actions of some kind or another. From the STRIDER CLAN all diving in swords and claws blazing, to the Space Aspects all throwing their hands together and warping space to create a bubble around the battlefield so that the Monster can't escape.

**[1:49]**

Meenah, Feferi, and Jane- all HEROES OF LIFE, cross their STAFF LIKE WEAPONS (Two tridents and a Restoration Staff) together and generate a massive SIPHONING ATTACK via the Fraymotif _**"Like a Healer Scorned,"**_ which begins to slowly but surely SIPHON THE GEL out of the Monster's HIT POINT BAR, and funnels it back into EVERYONE ELSE, making almost every attack the Monster can deliver already healed before the damage even takes.

**[2:04]**

Rhozee and Roxy activate a Fraymotif, and summon whole hordes of GENERIC OBJECT CONSTRUCTS that begin smashing into the MONSTER inbetween the gaps when nobody is attacking it.

Meanwhile, a certain winged player sneaks through the fray, coming up alongside a blind spot through the rushing horde of generic objects- claws are readied, and---

**[2:19]**

That's when ARGO manages to DISARM and SWIPE the FOUR X RING on the right hand.

The INDOMINUS PROTOTYPING is removed- and this somehow causes the Monster's swallowed ring to go HAYWIRE and start changing forms even faster.

So fast that it seems like the monster's about to EXPLODE from the rapidly changing energies.

**[2:49]**

Aradia and Yuui- both now ascended as MAID and WITCH of TIME, respectfully- put their hands together and generate a massive TIME STOP FIELD around the Monster- slowing her down long enough for the team to hold a brief conference on what to do about the SWALLOWED RING.

"It's obviously inside her," Aranea says. "We'll have to cut it out."

"That could kill her though!" Jade protests. "She's been mind controlled this entire time!"

**[3:20]**

After a brief off screen discussion, The Decision is made.

All contenders back away as Aradia and John take center stage with TIME ASPECT weaponry ready to deploy. 

"Ready for this?" Aradia asks.

"Well, I guess we'll have to be," John shrugs.

**[3:29]**

Yuui dismisses the Time Stop Field- and the Monster resumes their rapid changing.

John and Aradia fly in and begin dancing around- slashing and attacking with their time aspect weapons- a hammer and a whip, respectively- each doing their best to lock the Monster down into a single form.

**[4:05]**

Every hit comes and manages to lock a wild TENTACLE HERE into a CRAB ARM THERE, and TOUGH CARAPACE THERE for a SOFT SNAKE SKIN HERE.

Spikey Goat Horns bashed away for less immediately dangerous ram horns.

Two heads mashed firmly into one-

**[4:50]**

With that done- Karkat- KNIGHT OF BLOOD- activates his BLOODY POWERS to summon MAGICAL BONDS to restrain the Monster in a single place.

She struggles, but none come to attack her in this vulnerable state... Unnoticed, unseen, a PRINCE OF VOID makes their approach.

Marrin slips up behind the monster, and phases their hand through the monster's back- grabbing the ring, and the stealing it back out through without causing any unnecessary internal damage.

**[5:30]**

All of the Prototyping fades away, as do the Blood bonds, and the poor Parcel Mistress who now was missing one arm, fell down onto a floating chunk of rock and began crying her tears of thanks for being finally freed from the power of those rings.

And so with that- the Space Players dismiss the warped bubble, and our camera is free to pan out backwards and backwards and backwards, until we come to Hecate, who watched the whole thing with wide, awe-filled eyes.

The Curtains Close.

**> END OF ACT FIVE ACT 1**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You ever have that sinking feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach for reasons that don't directly affect you but definitely directly affect hundreds of other people? I've got that now, had it while editing the next few chapters together. Get ready for a brief upload spree.  
> \---  
> I have no idea where the idea of horrorterrors shaped like characters came from- but this reader tormenting me and Vriska with Strong Bad requests seriously caused the following events to unfold in... a very dramatic and utterly unpredictable way.
> 
> Poor Vriska, she definitely did not deserve what's about to happen to her here.


	42. ACT 5 ACT 2: Jumping Through the Hoops.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a lot happens this chapter... Including a lot of dialoguelog-formatting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Mental Breakdown.  
> Body Hijacking/Possession.  
> The Literal Voring of Several Eldritch Gods.

**> ACT FIVE ACT 2**

Land of Canyons and Hoops > Jurassic World > Main Plaza > Dairy Queen

That is every location name in sequence that you had to jump hoops through (Haah) just to locate two God Tiers who thought they were being sneaking.

RHOZEE: John, Aradia, I hope you have a very good reason to be here when we were supposed to be gearing up to confront the Black King on the Battlefield.

RHOZEE: (The strategy meeting you missed out on went fine, by the way.)

As expected, the two jolt in their seats. Neither are wearing their God Robes- instead, they're both wearing the season typical tourist clothes.

If it weren't for your SEER-Y POWERS, you'd never have seen through the GLAMOUR ILLUSION placed upon them both to make them appear as different people. Where did John learn that one, you wonder? Probably from some other world, if you had to guess.

Even without the illusion, you almost didn't recognize them.

RHOZEE: Aradia... did you do something different with your hair?

It's a completely sarcastic comment. Aradia's had her hair cut short at some point on her personal timeline and has had the remainder put up into pig-tails. It probably was to help sell the illusion.

Maybe.

She looks kind of cute like that, especially with the flustered looks she and John are both giving you.

JOHN: errr... hi rose?

RHOZEE: Yes, hi.

RHOZEE: Enjoying your date, I presume?

ARADIA: very much so, yes.

You don't so much as blink at this. Ever since ascending, Aradia dropped the hollow tone from her voice as well as dismissed the zeroes from her typing quirk.

At this point, a waiter arrives with an order of cheese sticks and a large bowl of ranch dressing. He ignores that you're one of the players of the session, and merely asks if you'd like a glass of water- to which you say yes. He leaves.

RHOZEE: So... your reasoning for being here instead of being at our all important planning session?

ARADIA: we're from a few weeks in your future, decided to take a break when things were busier.

RHOZEE: That seems rather backwards to me.

JOHN: what she means is that we can't do anything dating wise in our present time frame because all of you are busy bodies with nothing better to do than mess with us whenever we try to do anything.

Punctuating that point, John and Aradia both take a cheesestick off the plate and dip it into the bowl of ranch dip. Together, in an almost disgustingly cute way, they simultaneously time their bites. You say "Almost" because you and Kanaya have done similar things and you're quite used to that level of cuteness. Ah, young love.

RHOZEE: So besides my interruption just now while trying to find the current instance of you...

RHOZEE: You've avoided our future harassment- no doubt spurred on by this very conversation- by ducking into the past when we are all busy preparing for the battle against the Black King?

JOHN: yup.

ARAIDA: that's about it, yes.

RHOZEE: I see...

RHOZEE: And the haircut?

ARADIA: no real reason.

ARADIA: well, besides that yuui stopped tying her hair up and people were starting to mix us up from behind.

ARADIA: even though neither of us have the same clothes and the fact that i have horns and she doesn't anymore so-

RHOZEE: One of you had to change?

ARADIA: one of us had to change!

RHOZEE: I'm detecting a trend here.

RHOZEE: Isn't this the second time you've changed something about yourself because of her?

ARADIA: meh.

RHOZEE: Meh?

ARADIA: meh!

RHOZEE: Don't you 'Meh' at me, Araida!

ARADIA: meh, i say!

She stalls for time by taking a bite out of another cheese stick.

You face palm.

RHOZEE: Fine. Just... Where can I find the yous of this time frame?

JOHN: mmmh.... this is last week, right?

ARADIA: somewhere around then, yes,

JOHN: then... try....

JOHN: oh, wait, now i remember.

RHOZEE: Yes?

JOHN: the us you're looking for are going to be talking with jade, argo, and marrin when you find us!

RHOZEE: That's... actually quite helpful.

RHOZEE: Enjoy your meal.

ARADIA: we are!

You take off into the air, opening Trollian and messaging your estranged otherself as you do such.

\- tentacleTherapist [TT] began trolling unknitTalismen [UT] -

TT: Jaspur?

UT: mmh?

TT: Are you with Argo and Jade right now by any chance?

UT: yeah :3

TT: What planet?

UT: mine

TT: On my way, then.

UT: kaay X3

At least SOMEONE has been in an UPBEAT MOOD since ascending. Marrin's VOIDY POWERS are finally under control. You don't dwell much on it while flying.

**> PERSPECTIVE: Change.**

You are now ARGO LALONDE. You're currently engaged in a conversation with JADE, JOHN, and ARADIA. But, ah, you lost concentration for a moment trying to see where MARRIN slipped off to. What were you all talking about again? 

**> Argo the Horrorterror: Suddenly appear along wi--**

How about I stop you there and spell it out for you.

EN.

OH.

That spells,

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

I thought I made it perfectly clear that we are not doing the Stong 8ad thing?

Are we clear????????

You're not reincarnating ANYTHING.

The Horrorterror impersonating DIRK STRIDER nods furiously in understanding.

He will not even so much as MENTION the words "Strong" or "Bad" in the same sentence ever. EVER. Again.

**> ARGO: Just ask.**

ARGO: um...

JADE: and it was SO STINKY!!!

JOHN: eurgh, i can only imagine.

ARADIA: but what about the chocolate filled pastries?

ARADIA: were they intact?

JADE: not at all.

JADE: the car drove over them and chocolate filling went flying EVERYWHERE!

JOHN: oh god, seriously??

ARGO: ...

JADE: yeah, but then the store owner said it was okay, because they had another box lying around.

ARADIA: that was thoughtful of them.

ARGO: ...what were we...?

JOHN: okay okay, so i get that they totally bungled the give away,

JOHN: but what happened to the mouse?

JADE: oh nooo

JADE: don't get me started on the mouse IX[

JADE: please don't get me even started on what happened with the mouse, john!!

You have no idea what the hell you missed when you zoned out, and now you have even less of an idea as to how this relates to what you were talking about before... Anime, you think??

Something to do with anime. But you can't really bridge the gap between that and....

JOHN: i wanna know what happened to the mouse!!!

JADE: FIIIIINNNNEEEE

JADE: it crawled up the waitress' leg!!!

JOHN: oh god...

ARADIA: Oh My!

JOHN: please don't tell me it went further than that

JOHN: please, please please PLEASE don't tell me it went further than that

JADE: you asked for this, john!!!

JADE: It--!

RHOZEE: Hello, everyone.

**> ROHZEE: Arrive.**

You entered through Marrin's Hive's FRONT DOOR just in time to watch Jade lean up to John's right ear and whisper something that makes him emit the strangest, wet sounding kind of wail from the back of his throat.

JOHN: OH MY GOD, JADE!!! I ASKED- NO!!!

JOHN: I BEGGED YOU NOT TO TELL ME!!!

JADE: heheheheheheWOOF!!!

RHOZEE: ....

JADE: ....

ARADIA: ...

ARGO: ......

RHOZEE: ...Did I come at a bad time?

ARGO: no, you didn't, we were just-

JOHN: -JADE WAS TELLING US ABOUT---

JADE: ---SO WE WERE TALKING AT THE-

ARADIA: well we were talking about-

RHOZEE: *Sharply Whistles*

RHOZEE: Why weren't you two at the meeting?

JADE: huh? but argo and i were theeeerrrrrr...

RHOZEE: Yes, you get that I'm not talking about you two.

JOHN: well...

ARADIA: ...

RHOZEE: Dot Dot Dot Dot.

ARGO: (pffftheheh)

MARRIN: I'm back with snacks what did... i... miss...

MARRIN: hi rhozee!

RHOZEE: Hello, Jaspur.

RHOZEE: These two seem to be rather reluctant to answer my questions as to why they refused to come to the meeting earlier. Did they happen to mention anything by any chance?

MARRIN: uuuuhhhhmmmm....

MARRIN: they didn't say anything to me but

MARRIN: i think....

Marrin lists back and forth on their heels for a few moments before speaking again, a particularly feline smirk on their face.

MARRIN: they've started dating and wanted to keep it a secret!

ARADIA: 0_0

JOHN: wait what how did-?

ARGO: **_EEEEEEEEEE!!!_ **you two are dating!??

JADE: _why didn't you tell usss????_ huh huh huh???

Jade and Argo then pull John and Aradia into a two sided hug. Both seem completely blindsided by this sudden hugging- but their flushed faces are all the confirmation you need. So this is the start of the shenanigans that resulted in this morning's encounter.

You could take the chance to troll them a little, or just let them be.

**> Dirk Horrorterror: Summon Strong--**

Before the Horrorterror can even so much as contemplate finishing that thought- your FIRM, PSYCHIC GRIP latches onto its brain AND CRUSHES ITS FREE WILL ENTIRELY.

**I thought.**

**I didn't need to make the unsaid...**

**SAID.**

**But apparently I F8CKING DO!!!!!!!!**

**ANYONE ELSE WANNA TANGLE WITH ME!?**

**HUH??? _HUH????????_**

**I DARE YOU.**

**I DOU8LE. _FUCKING._ D08 D8RE YOU.**

**TRY MY PATIENCE ONCE MORE YOU F8CK8NG HORROR8EASTS.**

_**AND SEE WHAT I F8CK8NG D8 T8 TH8 REM8NS OF YOUR F8RTHE8T R8NG!!!!!!!!** _

**> RHOZEE: TROLL them a little, what is the worst that could happen?**

You wait until Marrin gives out the cups of water that were brought in with the snacks before delivering your HAYMAKER.

RHOZEE: I see.

RHOZEE: So I assume you're both considering marriage?

JOHN: _*nearly chokes on water*_

ARADIA: _*gloriously spit-takes*_

Argo's shades slide down her nose to reveal awestruck eyes, that, Yes, you did just troll them with such a comment. Meanwhile, Jade unceremoniously drops her own cup of water onto herself while dodging the water spraying from Aradia's mouth. Ironic, that. She moved too quickly to avoid getting wet and got even more wet in the process. You feel a little sorry for her.

Needless to say, Marrin hisses a little as the floor of their hive's front room is soaked in water from two directions.

JADE: yipes!! now my fur's all wet IX[

JADE: urgh, now im gonna smell like a wet dog all day!!

JADE: towels, marrin?

MARRIN: yeah. kitchen.

JADE: thanks.

While Jade and Marrin slip off to fetch clean towels, John and Aradia shoot you annoyed glares. Argo just sort of stares off into space as she processes the sheer elegance of trolling contained within one simple sentence.

Subtly, ever so subtly she, through the part of Davesprite within her soul that approves of their once ecto-twin's trolling, gives you a thumbs up. 

**> Rhozee Horrorterror: Annoy Vriska to death.**

You are now a Horrorterror who briefly assumes the guise of ROSE LALONDE.

You take but one step into Vriska's vaccinity to annoy her...

And that's when you watch her mouth twist into a VICIOUS SMILE.

**YOU.**

What?

**_YOU THERE, HORRORGIRL._ **

Um....

**_GUESS WHAAAAAAAAT DAAAAAAAAY IT IIIIIIIISSSSSSSSS????_ **

....Friday?

**WHY YES, YES IT IS... _FRY DAY._**

**> VRISKA: Bodily Possess Horror Terror.**

You LEAP INSIDE the Horrorterror's THINKPAN and FRY ITS CONTENTS by overwriting every MAGICAL GOOPY SYNAPSE WITH YOUR OWN MEMORIES.

If horrorterror screams could be translated into something that would not get this adventure immediately kicked off the forums for violating community guidelines, then the author still wouldn't post it for fear of BREAKING SOMEONE'S MIND.

**> RHOZEE: Go over the CONTENT of the STRATEGY MEETING.**

While you have John and Aradia's attention, you RECAP the strategy meeting and--

And...

Suddenly, just about EVERYONE is overcome by a MIND PIERCING SHRIEK OF PAIN AND TERROR.

But to you?

You can pick out what some poor Horrorterror's LAST WORDS ARE.

_**"I REGRET PICKING A FIGHT WITH VRISKA SERKET."** _

Once the scream's echoes fade, Argo fixes you with a look that cleanly says "Well, now we're fucking screwed, aren't we?" 

**> Horrorterrors: Get all up in Dave's grillz, man.**

Unfortunately, the PSYCHIC SCREAM broke the PSYCHIC EARDRUMS of all HORRORTERRORS in the Furthest Ring. They cannot hear your command, nor would they want to.... or could.

Because, at this exact moment- using the latent powers of the horrorterror body- Vriska is throwing every single HorrorTerror that still exists into the BLACK HOLE in the VOID OF REALITY.

Each one goes tumbling into the void, screaming, crying, lamenting that if ONLY THEY HAD IGNORED THESE FOOLISH COMMANDS sent by an ANONYMOUS PSYCHIC, then their ENTIRE KIND would not face this MASS GENOCIDE that is presently going on.

**> VRISKA: Go mad.**

She is so mad, that we can no-longer jump into her head.

Wow, good going there, Anonymous Psychic Reader. You've just kick started a series of events of UNFATHOMABLE PROPORTIONS by throwing Homestar Runner references at people non stop.

_**Nice Job Breaking It, Anon. Nice Job Breaking It.  
** _

**I Hope You're Happy.  
**

**> REMAINING HORRORTERRORS: Cry out for help.**

Oh, and CRY OUT they do. 

Unfortunately, their PHYSICAL CRIES are swallowed up by the SHEER GRAVITATIONAL MASS of the BLACK HOLE they're being thrown into.

Even if we took the THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS OF YEARS to wait for the sounds to play out and reach audible ears, they would come out as SLOWED DOWN, DISTORTED MASSES of WHITE NOISE and TEMPORAL STATIC.

Only LORD ENGLISH, trapped inside the BLACK HOLE, can hear their cries, and he LAUGHS AT THEIR PAIN. 

**> Lord English: Just summon plain unkillable Horrorterrors that take the form of every single Homestar Runner character there is.**

Unfortunately, Dear Caliborn is unable to much of anything besides OBSERVE and LAUGH, and even if he would consider it, WHY do you think he **_Could_** ever summon such a thing as "Unkillable Horrorterrors"? Like. Uhh... Why would he do such a thing? Does it make any sense to his character as a whole or...? No, better question.

Just what really, _really, Psychic Anon?_ Just what is your obsession with Homestar Runner, may I just ask? You probably won't even answer, but it would give some incredible insight into the machinations you've set in motion.

**> ALT!CALLIOPE: React.**

The BLACK HOLE PRISON gets a few new inmates. You're vaguely satisfied by this in ways even you don't quite understand.

**> HORRORTERRORS: Regret life decisions.**

AND BOY HOWDY DO THEY!

**> HORRORTERRORS: Die out.**

Yeah, they're basically STUCK in here for the REST OF ETERNITY, however long that lasts.

Nobody dares say it will be "FOREVER" though- because someone once said that about the GREEN SUN and well, would you just look at how THAT TURNED OUT??

Saying that something "Will last Forever" is only as much of a certainty as long as "Forever" doesn't get hit by a cosmic Reset Button. Or, well. Only apply from a certain point of view.

There may or may not be one of those floating around right now in the form of a SUPER SECRET ESCAPE PLAN.

But then again, that's not news to this narrative. I'm pretty sure it's been mentioned at least once before now.

**> REMAINING GHOSTS: React.**

You're now the LAST GOD TIER NEPETA GHOST left over from the previous iteration of reality.

Everyone else around you is FLIPPING THEIR SHIT and panicking about THE END OF DAYS- not that your days weren't already numbered.

You're not quite sure how you survived, but you're DISTANTLY AWARE of another instance of yourself that IS ALIVE and presently feeling dismayed by that LOUD PSYCHIC SCREAM from earlier.

You're 100% CERTAIN that Vwiskers will be coming along to MOP UP you and the remaining ghosts. However, unlike everyone else, you're accepting of that fate because you're very much aware of that OTHER SELF that is active out there somewhere.

You wonder what she's up to right now?

**> Nepeta: Be Argo**

What? You've always been ARGO LALONDE. Come on, just because everyone's brains got rattled by a PSYCHIC DEATH CRY doesn't mean you're not still in full possession of your MENTAL FACULTIES.

**> ARGO: React.**

ARGO: so....

ARGO: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!??!?

RHOZEE: A HorrorTerror just died.

JOHN: wait what? what's strong enough to even do that anymore?

RHOZEE: Vriska.

ARADIA: well that makes sense. :|

ARGO: so vriska's gone and killed a horrorterror??

ARGO: why??

JADE: GUYYYYSSS!

JADE: COME OUT HERE AND LOOK AT THIS!!

RHOZEE: I suspect we'll find out if we go find Jade and Jaspur.

And so you all head into the hive's KITCHEN, and then out the BACK DOOR where Marrin and Jade are waiting.

**> ARGO: Look to the FURTHEST RING.**

Up above in the far flung distance is the PERPETUAL SIGHT of a BLACK HOLE, framed by a BROKEN PIECE OF VOID SPACE floating in the BLACK VOID.

Nothing unusual, except...

Except now there are HUGE BLACK SPLOTCHES drifting across the GAP, highly visible thanks to the CONTRAST.

JADE: ._. what the heek

JADE: just

JADE: what is this

JADE: what is going on?

JOHN: the too long don't read is "vriska."

JADE: vriska?!

RHOZEE: Vriska.

MARRIN: *hiiiissss*

ARADIA: i wonder what possible end goal this could possibly serve for her plans for us?

RHOZEE: I don't know. It's entirely possible we're meant to see this- or perhaps we're not Vriska's intended targets for such a display. Who knows for certain but Vriska herself.

JOHN: wait a second.

JOHN: vriska IS a ghost now, right? no physical strength at all to throw things?

JOHN: and scorpio psychics like aranea and vriska are just *mental* psychics, right?

JOHN: not like aries psychics like aradia who can physically move things with their minds, right?

RHOZEE: I believe so, yes, Why?

ARADIA: i think i see where you're going with this. o_o

JOHN: so... how is vriska throwing the horror terrors into the black hole?

RHOZEE: That's...

RHOZEE: That's a very good question, John.

MARRIN: isn't it pawvious?

MARRIN: she's possessed a horrorterror's body and is using it against them.

RHOZEE: ....Fuck. Let me do the math on that....

ARADIA: she's completely jumped off the deep end, hasn't she?

JOHN: you say that as if we weren't already aware of that fact?

JOHN: however long she's spent out there in the void, alone, clearly hasn't made her *saner* by any clear cut measure.

RHOZEE: Marrin's right. It's almost a complete certainty that Vriska's performed Grand-Theft-Body on a Horror Terror.

JOHN: urgh... i'm really starting to hate body jacking ghosts... first ryouma, and now vriska...

JOHN: what is it with body jackers and possessing super-made all-powerful bodies that completely come out of left field??

ARGO: may i just say?

ARGO: we are *SO* completely, totally, fucking screwed that it isn't even funny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> John and Aradia suffer the same fate here- they've both got thousands of years of extra memories jammed into their skulls thanks to their respective void wanderings-- Aradia's just happens to be from a past life. And unlike the others, she remembers a LOOOOOOOOOT more than everyone else does. 
> 
> Also, let's be honest, Ara/John is a rarepair if ever there was one and this was probably the first time I wrote them as a couple... not the last, though. *Coughs*  
> \---  
> The Strong Bad Bullying Was Strong With This One.
> 
> Remember about how I said many times before that bullying the characters wasn't going to get the readers a good response? What's about to happen with Vriska is the natural extension of that. This ONE READER wouldn't let it go. Given some time to step back and collect her thoughts, Vriska wouldn't have collapsed as badly as, well... she does here.
> 
> Past me *really* should have put it all on hold. Ignored the commands. Just. Ignored the commands entirely... But nope. 
> 
> And this is the result we get. Vriska utterly broken. It sure helped clear the board, I suppose, but I'd intended a very different climax to the one that we wound up getting for her arc here.
> 
> I have no idea if ">VRISKA: Bodily Possess Horror Terror." was a reader submitted command or one I made up on the spot, but OH. I played this one horrifically straight if it was a submitted command. After so many vague interpretations of the commands up until now... so many flat out rejections...
> 
> Oh. OH. Did it ever get played horrifically straight.
> 
> ...the ride's not over yet.
> 
> \---  
> Yet again, There's that cameo of that favorite line I read in a homestuck fanfic once. The wet sounding wail. 
> 
> Also, it must have been a Friday when I first posted these updates, or something.


	43. ACT 5 ACT 2: [S] CLEAN SL8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vriska Serket ceases to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> The utter collapse and consumption of everything within a black hole, including several eldritch gods.   
> Bodily Transformations.  
> Mass Destruction.  
> The Literal Consumption Of Living Beings.  
> MUSIC SEQUENCE!!!!!!!!

**>[[S] VRISKA: CLEAN SL8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7c6Tt42y-aA)**

Standing above the dying ghosts of the Furthest Ring stands a towering, menacing figure- her form is humanoid, and yet subtly wrong and broken.

Her mouth is a touch too wide as it gives a feral grin down at a Nepeta Ghost...

And then the ghosts disappear with flashes of cerulean light.

The figure looks upwards at the Black Hole, and she licks her lips.

[0:23]

Her feet kick up, and her shadow covered form launches, expanding, preparing, daring to make a malleable body big enough to consume that which it shouldn't.

Inside the black hole, a certain Cherub watches on in wonder and confusion before he suddenly realizes that this is a bad place to be stuck.

The Prey is Now Predator, and the former Predator is Now Prey.

[0:33]

A Muse closes her ghostly eyes in acceptance- knowing that this would always be going this way.

[0:43]

The Black Hole is suddenly put under an enormous amount of pressure as psychic powers constrict down and push and push and push- compressing and compressing until an already dense super core becomes even denser to the point of vaporizing everything within it and transmuting it into pure energy.

[0:53]

Hands made out of tentacles grasp onto that energy and throw it into a far too wide mouth- and then the body of the horror-terror, not meant to contain such exotic energies, colapses and begins to transform itself into something more befitting of the powers being shoved down its throat.

A Ghost Ascends, becoming something Greater than a God Tier, and those energies explode outwards with a wave of pulsing, rainbow energy.

[1:03]

That shock wave plows outwards into the Furthest Ring- breaking the fragile glass that makes it up, and drawing those chunks inwards and inwards, expaning a punched hole in reality even larger and larger.

The Ascended One looks on as reality collapses around her, and its mass is added to her own in ways that cannot be understood.

A Thief of Light no more- but a Thief of Everything.

Vriska Serket smiles on as the name ceases to apply, and she becomes something...

MORE.

[1:13]

Her eyes fall upon a A LOST DERSE as it is hit by the shock wave, and propelled forwards faster than the speed of light towards a particular session.

It races past the shock wave, then past even the furthest distance that the shock wave's damage would cause, and then passes another DERSE and then VEIL, slipping through planets and meteors and then moving so fast even SKAIA cannot catch it with a defense portal.

A Black King and a White King both look upwards- pausing their duel as the rocketing planet comes hurtling down onto their Battlefield.

The Black King dodges- and watches on as his opponent is VAPORIZED upon impact.

And then....

[1:48]

He watches as something EMERGES from the wreckage.

Tentacles slither out- then reshape into a massive arm even as more tentacles slither around it to form a COAT SLEEVE.

The same process as another arm comes out- then lifting upwards, revealing a torso forming out of tentacles- the faux dress failing to form fast enough to cover the writhing mass of tentacles that equally fail to form into legs.

The King's breath fails him as his eyes watch a massive beak twist, break, and reform into a grinning maw.

Tentacles form a pair of horns- colors changing to be something absurdly candy colored.

And then the eyes open, and the Black King sees too many pupils within each eye.

[2:10]

From the perspective of all within the session- these events are overshadowed by the change overcoming the FURHEST RING above them.

BLACK SPACE gives way to WHITE VOID before fading once more into BLACK- except this time there are added COLORS. 

Red tendrils of energy fade into existence, cris-crossing everywhere and everything- and then begin slowly alternating between that angry, blood red, and another angry, hissing green.

Temporal Energies in the form of VISUAL AND AUDIBLE STATIC begin filling in the void spaces between the tendrils, and then OBSCURING THEM ENTIRELY.

[2:23]

John Egbert watches on as PARADOX SPACE's walls are finally BROKEN DOWN ENTIRELY, and the space contained within is merged with the bubble of space containing a NEIGHBORING MULTIVERSE.

[2:33]

Back on the Battlefield, the BEAST grabs the Black King in a MASSIVE HAND and lifts it up to a gaping, tooth filled mouth which holds too many teeth and a hidden BEAK that conceals TWIN, FORKED TONGUES that FLASH WITH RAINBOW ENERGY.

Struggle as he may, the Black King has a sudden premonition of D00M befalling him, and realizes that there is no escaping this fate at all.

[2:43]

And then he is swallowed up within the rainbow energies- and his PROTOTYPINGS are CONSUMED for their POWER.

The Beast on the Battlefield lets loose a ROAR as their FULL POWER begins to take hold within their transformed body, becoming that which was not meant to be, and yet, is.

All eyes turn to Skaia as the FUTURE SEEING CLOUDS are BLOWN AWAY and SCATTERED across the Medium.

One of the two Battlefields flashes with a disturbingly familiar rainbow energy.

[3:05]

Meanwhile, lying at the tentacle feet of the Invader, is the WHITE KING'S SCEPTER, which reflects all of these sudden changes that have overcome Skaia.

The Scepter is damaged, however, and as the camera focuses in on it, we see the orb flicker with static, and then again, and again, for longer this time, before finally--

The Orb vanishes off of the scepter as if it had been erased entirely from existence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [REINCARNATION + ASCENSION = DISASTER]  
> \---  
> This gets its own standalone chapter for the importance of the event.
> 
> Vriska... is no more. She has become something else entirely. Her mind is lost to the madness, her soul is jumbled up with English, and Alt Callie, and the Horror Terrors and whatever ELSE was inside the black hole and Furthest Ring.
> 
> IF the last flash sequence of Ascension was a mass, Forced Ascension done PERFECTLY?
> 
> This is a Singular, Forced Ascension gone WRONG. So horribly, horribly wrong.
> 
> This is an Oh Shit We Fucked Up Moment of tremendous proportions.
> 
> ...And this is the kind of thing that The Tailor inevitably sought to perform as well.


	44. ACT 5 ACT 2: The Force(d) A(scension)wakens.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone fucking panics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Disorderly Chaos as Plans are Made.  
> Time Loops.  
> SPOILERS FOR XROS WARS AU02!!!

Karkat opens a memo briefly to deliver the message that there's a MANDATORY EMERGENCY MEETING at Rezi's house on LOFAF which we won't bother with doing the memo format because he closes it a moment later.

No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Teleporting there is a breeze thanks to John's powers. Everyone is in the ATRIUM, yelling and panicking up until Karkat gives a shrill whistle to silence everyone.

NOW we'll do the fancy log formatting.

KARKAT: OKAY IS THAT EVERYONE?

CALLIE: ...fifteen, sixteen, seventeen....

CALLIE: yes, that's everyone jUst now.

KARKAT: GOOD.

KARKAT: OKAY. SO.

KARKAT: DOES *ANYONE* WANT TO EXPLAIN TO ME IN EASY TO DIGEST WORDS WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED TO THE SKY?

REZI: *COUGHS LOUDLY* JOHN! *COUGHS 4GA1N*

JOHN: really, rezi!?

REZI: <3<

KARKAT: OKAY SHOVE YOUR SPADES FLIRTING INTO A BOTTLE FOR LATER.

KARKAT: JOHN? I'M GUESSING OUR ESTEEMED AND RECENTLY ASCENDED SEER OF MIND HAS A REASON FOR PUTTING YOU UP FRONT ON THIS?

JOHN: ...okay well it's a really long story but i'll try to keep it short.

JOHN: good news and bad news.

JOHN: good news is that i know what happened with the sky.

JOHN: i'll get on with that first, i guess.

JOHN: you guys remember how bec noir destroyed our universe with the red miles?

JOHN: specifically how it took something like 400 years after the 2000's to have the red miles appear?

JOHN: that'd be because our instances were pretty far in.

JOHN: but there were obviously other instances closer to the top layer, right?

KANAYA: That Makes Sense

KANAYA: The Surface Layers Would Naturally Be Destroyed Much Faster.

JOHN: right so... there was a sburb session launched from one of those surface universe layers.

JOHN: but it was a really weird one.

JOHN: their hacker of the group... ah... he made his own customizations to the code.

JOHN: instead of drawing them into a normal skaia orbiting session, they...

JOHN: well, they got pulled into one planet with gods and sburb powers and all kinds of wacky hijinks.

JOHN: several long battles later, the kids of that session realized they needed help beating the big bad so they talked to the four denizens of the session.

JOHN: Typheus, Echidna, Hephaestus, and Cetus.

RHOZEE: Interesting. I was just about to ask how many players, though?

JOHN: eight?? i think?

JOHN: it was a weird session and the denizens were actively needed to keep the world running so...

JOHN: hephaestus made this crown thing to run the place in case the fighting went bad and they all died.

JOHN: too long, don't read, that crown thing became a super powerful relic people wanted to get their hands on.

JOHN: so years later this group of knights came and used the local scratch machine to break it...

JOHN: this had the side-effect of shattering the key crown thing and the whole planet into huge chunks- about a hundred of them i think.

JOHN: btw, if this is sounding familiar to anyone, feel free to zone out.

MEENAH: thanks bluefin.

YOMI: I think I've heard a similar tale before, but please, do go on.

JOHN: right so...

JOHN: about twenty years after the session was won, the kids of the sburb players formed this army to fight another army over the key crown thing fragments.

JOHN: another *really* long story short, the biggest bad of the time killed his brother, took over the army, and launched an all out assault on the local version of earth.

DAVE: why is it always a local instance of earth?

DAVE: earth gets cut no slack in stories like these.

JOHN: i know, right?

JOHN: (as an FYI sort of related to this, about a year later another bad guy would blow it up??? does that count as a spoiler or not, i wonder??)

CALLIE: well i deem it a spoiler and mUst be placed behind a spoiler tag!! :U

JOHN: alright geeze, fine...

JOHN: anyways, the first badguy reformed the other planet into these crystal recievers, and had the crown thing reforged into a focus point between them all.

JOHN: he then launched, i quote, the 'green miles' in an attempt to reach every point in the universe and... i don't even know, destroy it all?

JOHN: he went a bit further than that, actually.

DAVE: how far are we talking here like rhode island further or texas bigger?

YOMI: The local Multiverse cluster, I'm guessing?

JOHN: yeah, that.

DAVE: oh that big well fuck me

JOHN: anyways, good guys win, bad guy gets turned into an explosion, and all of that green shit turns red and gets reversed.

JOHN: hence the color distortions we're seeing.

RHOZEE: And the static?

JOHN: oh, geeze, nobody really knows what made the static.

JOHN: at first everyone thought it was the ... er...

CALLIE: *stares*

JOHN: the spoilery thing.

JOHN: but then it was thought that it was something else entirely?

JOHN: anyways there was a lot of time travel done after that and another twenty or so years later i met the kids of the kids of the sburb players and we all fought monsters as the kyoryugers.

JOHN: so yeah.

JOHN: i guess our rebooted pocket of paradox space just got jettisoned out of paradox space itself into the wider cluster of the multiverse that houses all the other multiverses that exist and... uh... yeah i dont know waht to make of any of this either??

JOHN: i guess paradox space got tired of our shenanigans and decided to let us go or something... I guess.

KARKAT: OKAY.

KARKAT: I'M A LITTLE CONFUSED

KARKAT: BUT OKAY.

KARKAT: THAT'S THE GOOD NEWS.

KARKAT: SO...

KARKAT: WHAT'S THE BAD NEWS?

RHOZEE: I'm fairly certain that Vriska has bodily possessed a horrorterror and has crash landed on our proverbial front door.

KARKAT: OH, GOOD. AND HERE I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST *YET ANOTHER* OUT OF CONTEXT ENEMY WE HAD TO DEAL WITH!!

KARKAT: BUT NO, JUST ANOTHER REGULAR OLD ENEMY WE'VE ALREADY BEEN DEALING WITH.

YOMI: I'm afraid I'll have to dispute that part, Karkat.

KARKAT: OH FOR THE LOVE OF- *WHY????*

YOMI: I sensed the extremely exotic energies of a new-born Ascendant.

YOMI: Vriska has likely brute forced her way into becoming something close to what I am.

KARKAT: ....AND??

YOMI: AND it took me several centuries to discover what my full limits were when I wasn't aiming specifically for my limit break threshold.

YOMI: If Vriska has come here looking for a fight... well...

YOMI: We should all be prepared for her to pull several out of context abilities out of thin air very quickly.

KARKAT: BUT BESIDES THAT YOU'RE SAYING SHE SHOULD BE WEAKER???

KARKAT: BECAUSE THAT'S THE IMPRESSION THAT I'M GETTING HERE.

YOMI: Yes, for the moment, she should be 'weaker' but I don't think we should undersell the most critical point of information here.

YOMI: Even at their weakest, a freshly Ascended person has incredible powers.

YOMI: As I'm sure John here can attest to.

JOHN: i don't want to drag them all into this.

RHOZEE: I get it, John, they're the friends you made while we were all off being reborn, or reset, or whatever it is that happened.

RHOZEE: But we need to know what you know.

JOHN: ...

JOHN: FINE!

JOHN: at the very end of that battle where the bad guy threw that green stuff everywhere, one of the kids went up to the code crown and *absorbed its energy*

JOHN: do you really wanna know what they really did after that??

KARKAT: YES, PLEASE. DO ENLIGHTEN US.

JOHN: ...he basically turned into a friggin time lord with two hearts, the ability to regenerate from a near death, and- oh, yeah, the power to teleport through time and space like a first guardian.

JOHN: that's not to mention the planet fusion that he pulled off OR the whole 'let's turn the bad guy into our new SUN' thing, either!!

CALLIE: what.

RHOZEE: *Sharp breath*

KANAYA: !

DAVE: *low whistle*

KARKAT: WELL FUCK.

YOMI: Ah... yes... that's what I thought you were going to say.

YOMI: Lagann the Maintainer is what he calls himself now, correct?

JOHN: yeah, he used to have a different name before all of it.

YOMI: *nods*

YOMI: As you all know, Yomi is what I used to go by when I was mortal.

YOMI: When I Ascended, I took on a new name. Yaovi the Reaper.

YOMI: It's a similar trait among people who gain such powers.

YOMI: This is what we are now dealing with.

YOMI: Vriska will likely re-introduce herself to us in short order.

REZI: (...and who knows what powers she has up her sleeves.)

**> EVERYONE: React.**

Predictably, everyone begins screaming. A few people (Tavros, Feferi, Jane) faint. Argo and Dave just share similar respects about everything being screwed over by spider troll.

Rezi face palms, muttering, "This wasn't what I saw when I told John to talk about it."

Hearing this, Rhozee's eyes widen. "I think I just figured out what Vriska's first power is." All eyes belonging to those who haven't fainted turn to her, and she clarifies. "Pre-cognition Scrambling."

Meenah just looks confused by this as she re-enters the room, asking, "What'd I miss? I went fishin' for some grub in the hunger tank."

**> All: attempt to come up with some way to slow her down at the very least. **

The Yelling resumes upon Rhozee's declaration.

ARANEA: _ **EVERY8ODY QUIEEEEETTTT!!!!**_

The Yelling Ceases.

KARKAT: WOW. AND HERE I THOUGHT *I* WAS THE LOUDMOUTH OF THE GROUP.

ARANEA: *Huffs angrily*

ARANEA: Look, everyone, let's just... at the very least find a way to slow her down?

YUUI: So... i'm pretty sure another scratch is off the table.

YUUI: If we've merged with another multiverse outside of the original laws of paradox space, then we can't just use that to wipe her out.

ARADIA: true, besides that, our session didn't come with a scratch construct that i'm aware of.

ARADIA: but that could simply be due to the mitigating circumstances that kept me from exploring my planet any.

DAVE: so we cant erase her

DAVE: can we exile her?

FEFERI: you mean back to alternia and beforus?

MEENAH: the old ladies wouldnt like dat, ill betcha.

MEENAH: (who are we exilin' again? i was lookin for food...)

ARANEA: (Shoooooooosh you!)

KARKAT: IF WE'RE LOOKING TO SLOW HER DOWN, I HAVE MY [BLOODY RESTRAINT] ABILITY.

KARKAT: WE COULD TIE HER DOWN TO THE BATTLEFIELD AND THEN HAVE JOHN ZAP IT THROUGH A DEFENSE PORTAL?

YOMI: If that would hold her, possibly. You should test it on me first, I think, just to make sure I can't slip from it.

YOMI: If I can't escape, then she... hopefully can't.

ROXY: maybe i can banish her to the void or something?

RHOZEE: Unfortunately, I suspect she would be heavily resistant to that.

RHOZEE: Besides that, we have no idea which void you'd end up sending her to, what with the Furthest Ring now apparently consumed by another Multiverse.

JOHN: what if we just evacuate all the planets- take the one good battlefield we have left- and leave her here on her own?

RHOZEE: Good point. We haven't even built the houses up yet...

RHOZEE: At the very least, you should move the planets somewhere safe in case the fighting gets to the levels it did in our last endgame session.

DIRK: (Poor LOTAK, struck down by a stray black hole before its time.)

JANE: That's a good point. At the very least, we don't need to have Earth here during all this, as it's not a SBURB generated planet.

DAVE: yeah that's just tempting fate at this point to leave it floating around.

RHOZEE: Agreed.

RHOZEE: As it stands, it looks like Earth isn't surviving this if it stays.

**> ARGO: Be DETERMINED.**

ARGO: guys!

ARGO: i know exactly what we need to do!

MARRIN: what's that? :?

REZI: Y34H, wh4t's th3 pl4n?

ARGO: we rip vwiskers' soul out of her body and shove it in one of those gemstones like yomi put jaspers and becs souls in!

ARANEA: I approve.

ARANEA: It nearly worked on me once when Dirk tried it in the previous timeline.

DIRK: What? When did I try that?

DIRK: Pretty sure I'd remember that.

JAKE: Ah... that'd be because it was a brain ghost you?

ROXY: o yeah! brain ghost dirk!

REZI: H3h3h3h, 1 r3m3mb3r h1m.

DIRK: So what, my Prince of Heart powers let me almost tear a spider troll's soul out once, and you expect me to do it again?

YOMI: You'll have to, at least, to get the souls out.

YOMI: I think I can safely soul trap Vriska if it comes to it.

YOMI: But I have a bad feeling that if I do anything more I might set off a signal beacon to my pursuer.

JAKE: That's right, we're not in a closed off bubble of Paradox Space anymore, are we?

MEENAH: (water we talking about now? i got thirsty so....)

ARANEA: *Deep Sigh*

CALLIE: if i might make a sUggestion?

MARRIN: sure! .w.

RHOZEE: Of course you can.

CALLIE: let's take a page oUt of john's brief retelling of past events and do as all those faced with a devioUs, all too powerfUl enemy do.

CALLIE: we speak with oUr denizens.

JOHN: somehow i just knew it'd come to this.

CALLIE: what more can yoU tell Us aboUt that fight?

JOHN: well...

JOHN: not a whole lot, really!

JOHN: i wasn't there for most of it and i just got the cliff notes version after--

A Second JOHN EGBERT and ARADIA MEGIDO appear just then with a flash of red hued TIME TRAVEL MAGIC.

F.ARADIA: hah! told you i could find it!

F.JOHN: right, right, you told me.

JOHN: oh come on!!!

ARADIA: oh, it's me!

F.ARADIA: oh, it's you!

F./ARADIA: hello, mirror!

KARKAT: OH FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING THAT IS HOLY AND RIGHT IN THE MULTIVERSE CAN WE NOT DEAL WITH TIME TRAVEL CLONES RIGHT NOW???

F.JOHN: karkat's got a point. you two have to go off and become us- but first, you gotta go pick up the secret weapon from torin and ask about the denizen deal details!

JOHN: BLUUHHHHHHHHH

JOHN: fine.

And with that, the CURRENT JOHN AND ARADIA leave via ZAP TRAVEL.

MEENAH: so what's the deets, blue buoy?

F.JOHN: well, our situation isn't as 'special case' as their session was.

F.ARADIA: basically their denizens were unchained and unrestricted.

F.ARADIA: ours aren't.

F.JOHN: and we can't really do anything TO unchain them unless they want to be unchained and they don't.

F.JOHN: belive me, we asked. will ask? have will asked???

F.JOHN: (aradia??)

F.ARADIA: each are equally accurate :)

KARKAT: JUST FUCKING FANTASTIC.

KARKAT: ANY OTHER FLIPPING FANTASTIC NEWS TO REPORT?

KARKAT: ARE OUR ASSES STUCK ON THE GRILL LIKE SOME KIND OF GRILLED CHUMPASS SANDWICH? IS THAT THE BAD NEWS?

KARKAT: PLEASE TELL ME THAT THE UNCHAINING RESTRICTIONS IS THE BAD NEWS PART.

F.ARADIA: the unchaining restrictions is the bad news part.

F.JOHN: the good news is that there IS one denizen that wants to be unchained!

DAVE: who? please say hephaestus because we could totally use his hammer as the best grilled cheese press in the history of grilled cheese presses.

F.JOHN: her name is Hecate.

DIRK: Mother. FUCK.

DAVE: (language, son.)

DIRK: (You're not my Dad, Bro.)

DAVE: (alt me begs to differ, kiddo)

JANE: (Would you two kindly can it for the moment??)

YUUI: Well, that was a twist we should have seen coming.

F.ARADIA: :) that's just how life works sometimes.

KARKAT: ALRIGHT LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

KARKAT: SO THE PLAN IS...

KARKAT: GO TALK TO OUR DENIZENS.

KARKAT: AND SEE WHAT CONCESSIONS THEY'RE WILLING TO GIVE US IN FIGHTING VRISKA-THE-SECOND-COMING-OF-HELL?

KARKAT: MEANWHILE UNCHAINING THE ONE WHO THOUGHT IT A GOOD "CHOICE" TO SHOOT A BULLET AT DIRK'S HEAD AND BASE THE ANSWER ON IF HE LIVED OR DIED?

RHOZEE: Yes, that about sums it up.

KARKAT: OKAY. GOOD. JUST MAKING SURE I DIDN'T GO INSANE AT SOME POINT DURING THIS CONVERSATION.

DIRK: Well, I've already talked with Hecate and made MY deal, so it's going to have to be someone else who talks with her and almost gets their heads blown off.

ARGO: well, you said she went to my land, right? so... it should be me, right?

YOMI: I'll go with you.

YOMI: I am wearing the proper Heart colors, after all.

YOMI: (Still no idea how that happened. Strangest bit of magic I've ever felt...)

YOMI: *trails off into mutterings of arcane spell matrixes*

KANAYA: Should Those Of Us With Doubled Aspects Do The Same Thing

KANAYA: ?

CALLIE: she has a point.

CALLIE: a lot of Us have doUbled aspects, after all.

RHOZEE: I would say, yes. That should save some time.

ARANEA: Alright then, it seems we have the 8eginning stages of a plan.

ARANEA: Shall we execute it?

MEENAH: SHELL YEA!!!!

MEENAH: (what's the plan again? i was chowin down on this funky blue puddin i found in a crate over there by the stairs)

REZI: OH FOR TH3 LOV3 OF- YOU 4TE TH3 R3PULS1ON G3L!?

MEENAH: what? it was actually kinda good.

MEENAH: also... 'repulsion gel'?? i don't like tha sound a dat.

REZI: *S1111GH*

REZI: you all go on ahead and deal with the denizens.

REZI: F3f3r1? 1 could use your help taking care of this.

FEFERI: okay. 38|

FEFERI: (seariously, meenah! i told you you should have eaten breakfast this morning!)

MEENAH: (but i didn't want calamarine soufflé!!)

DAVE: alright everyone, you heard the lady

DAVE: its time to go play, 'let's make a deal.'

KARKAT: IN NOT SO MANY WORDS. LET'S MOVE, PEOPLE!!

**> JOHN: Before you lose your ZAP POWERS, go grab ALTERNIA, BEFOROUS, and their RESPECTIVE MOONS.**

You're not the JOHN EGBERT that left with ARADIA for a TIMEY WIMEY MISSION.

Loose your Zappy Powers? Why would that ever happen? You can't think of a reason that.

As for Alternia and Beforus- you ask Aradia, and she says that as long as you don't grab the TWIN QUEENS, you should be fine.

You ask why not, and she just shrugs, stating, "Politics are Politics" and something about "clashing over who got the last slice of end-of-the-world-cake"???

You don't really get the cake thing.

Anyways, yeah, you GRAB THE TWO TROLL PLANETS and CAPTCHALOGUE THEM. You go to teleport to where you keep the SPARE EARTH and- wait. Huh.

Another you has TELEPORTED the EARTH from the Session here as well.

You wonder what that's about.

**> JAKE: HOPE BRAIN GHOST DIRK into existence to INCREASE FIREPOWER.**

You do just that, except... You only bring BRAIN GHOST DIRK just to the VERY EDGE of existence- but not quite just yet. You want to save the FULL REVEAL for during the battle as a TRUMP CARD.

Yeah, you've got EXACTING CONTROL over your HOPE POWERS now! How cool is that?

**> EVERYONE: Meet with DENIZENS.**

These Denizen meetings go off across the session as quickly as possible- facilitated by DAVE, ARADIA, and YUUI using TIME TRAVEL to speed things along.

But you all don't care about a bunch of monsters speaking gibberish, now do you?

No. You want to see what happens when one of them gets UNCHAINED.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of words this chapter and a lot of discussion. Next Chapter...
> 
> Hecate Unbound.


	45. ACT 5 ACT 2: Hecate Unbound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Implications of Metaversal Time Loops.  
> Implications regarding Skaia's vice like grip on its game NPCs.

**> YOMI, ARGO: UNCHAIN HECATE**

Argo and Yomi have found HECATE, of all places, wandering around Argo's HOUSE.

Yomi gives Argo a look, and Argo shrugs, considering it a FORTUITOUS ACT OF NARRATIVE CONVIENCE.

Yomi clears her throat.

"Oh? Well now isn't this interesting." Hecate turns to look at Yomi, eyeing her expectantly before looking you over as well. "A girl whose powers are not derived from Skaia, and yet is blessed with the God Robes just the same, and... A split soul. Time and Heart. Knight and Rogue."  
Argo greets, "Hello miss Hecate."

Hecate chuckles. "Miss? Now that is interesting."

Yomi starts to explain, "We've come seeking advice, as well as to offer you a deal."

Hecate laughs. "Oh now that IS *QUITE* very Interesting indeed. Usually I am the one offering deals and choices." She smiles. "Very well, I shall dole out the advice first, then hear your request."

Yomi nodded. "As you may have noticed, someone has intruded upon the session and has... well... There is no delicate way to put this.

Hecate replied, "There never is."

Yomi asked, "You can sense how powerful I am, yes?"

"Yes, it's a very... distinctive aura..." Hecate's eyes flared, shifting between forms then restoring as they were, as if bound to that form by Skaia's will... A will that seemed to be somewhat looser given that she performed the feat at all. "Similar to my own, in a way. Interesting. Very, very interesting. I've never..." She stopped for a moment.  
"I've never felt anything like it before from a non player," Hecate said. "You are quite unique, I can honestly say."

Yomi sighed. "Yes, well... the intruder to this session has recently gained the same tier of power that I have achieved."

"I see." Hecate answered curtly.

Argo spoke next, "We were hoping you could help us out."

Hecate raised an eyebrow, "I've already given you my weapon. There is not much else I can give."

"That's not what we're after," Yomi gave her a warm smile.

"We want you," Argo said, "specifically."

Hecate answered, "I am a Denizen. I am bound not to interfere in the affairs of Players."

To that, Yomi asked, "What if we could unbind you from that duty?"

Hecate stared for a long moment, silent.

"Such a thing would normally be impossible," she finally said. "However... Coming from you I can sense... Hope, perhaps? Ironic, considering who found you."

She reaches into a pocket on the front of her clothes and pulls out...

Argo gasped, "Hey! That's one of my books!"

"Yes it is," Hecate answered. "I found its prologue intriguing, so I borrowed it for a time. Were you aware that some instance of me had written it?"

She asks that, opening it to a front page cover spread showing several anime-drawn characters you've become familiar with over that particular book series' run. On it are the Would-Be-Gods who made the world in the book, a direct parallel to the whole Skaian Creation Story, you suppo....se....

Included among that motley crew are the Pathfinder, Hecate, and the Reaper in Green, Yaovi.

Argo and Yomi boggled, and Argo whispered, "No fucking way."

Hecate said, "Somehow, I am not as surprised as I should be by this development. And it is that, which is more surprising, ironically."

She holds the book up, comparing drawn art to the girl next to you... to Yomi... or rather, Yaovi, as she'd said earlier.

"I suppose then... this book is somehow my own doing, and not just a passing instance of my own soul."

Yomi blinked, unsure of how to respond to that.

Hecate continued, "You probably can do what you actually say you can, then. To unbind me from Skaia's will..." she paused. "I wonder how you came to learn that I was uniquely wanting of this freedom? It does not matter, I suppose."

She closes the book with the utmost respect and then hands it back to Argo. "I suspect I shouldn't be reading this."

"Um..." Argo nodded. "Yeah, I guess not?"

"What are you talking about?" Yomi asked. "What does that book have to do with anything going on here?"

Argo captchalogues the book, and says, "Nothing right now, I think."

Hecate muses, "But the future is a slippery thing, is it not?"

Argo nods. "Yeah."

"So, then. Shall we begin, Yaovi?" Hecate asks, looking at Yomi.

Yomi stares, startled, "What? How did you...?"

Hecate gives a faint smile, and Yomi laughs a little in return.

"Nevermind." Yomi sighs. "I suspect I'll find out later, won't I?"

Argo feels a little out of place as Yomi begins weaving her magic powers into a spell, so she steps outside to wait out the inevitable lightshow.

She turns her eyes down to the book as she retrieves it from her Sylladex.

Mystryal, the title reads on the cover...

She wonders if it really is an exact preview of the future? 

Or if it's just a fictionalized retelling to serve as a keystone to leverage current events into place? 

She supposes she'll never know... either way, she'll be looking at her favorite detective series in a whole new light from now on.

**> You are now....**

IBRIS- the Black Rock Shooter, once known as MATO KUROI to some people you considered friends... most of whom are now dead.

You have LOST THE TRAIL of the one who caused those deaths: Yaovi... Yomi... Whatever the hell she calls herself these days.

She was HERE, there was a PLANET. There was a BOY, and then--

_**ZAP. ZAP. ZAP.** _

They were all gone.

And now you have no idea where the hell she's gotten to.

It's the PERFECT ESCAPE- especially to those people with EYES like yourself.

But damn it, you'll pick up the trail eventually! You just have to--

**> ====>**

That's when the faintest echoes of a SHOCK WAVE brushes past you.

You breathe in the DILUTED SCENTS of a LONG AGO EXPLOSION of ARCANE ENERGY.

You smell DEATH. You Smell BLACK MAGIC. You SMELL.... HER!!

A grin breaks out on your face, and you TURN to CHASE the SCENT, backwards through the cosmos towards the place where SHE WILL HAVE BEEN! And may even STILL BE!!

You transform your arms into guns, and ROCKET FORWARDS as a BLUE SHOOTING STAR.

You will FIND HER, and KILL HER.

Even if it's the last thing you do. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter for tonight. Shit hits the fan after this.


	46. ACT 5 ACT 2: [S]R^3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a Rare and Highly Dangerous 3X Flash Sequence Showdown!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Three Consecutive Musical Sequences! May cause Sanity Damage! Please Take Breaks between each!!
> 
> Battle to the Death.  
> Bifurcation of Souls.  
> Soul Trap Spell Work.

**> [[S] RENAME](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkLNamfaBy0)**

On the Battlefield, a pair of eyes look out upon everything with eagerness.

She who was once Vriska Serket is No More... Now, she is BALI the CONSUMER.

[0:10]

The Battlefield's residents all FLEE from her might- and those who are too slow are eaten.

[0:18]  
  
That is when a METEOR comes crashing through the atmosphere and smashes into the ground where she stands- melting a HUGE SWATH of land, and bathing her in MOLTEN ROCK. 

Rock that is easily Consumed as she surfaces,[ with billowing smoke flowing from her mouth](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Svy9DBBZKpk/hqdefault.jpg).

_**STRIFE: ROUND ONE!!! ([0:30])** _

SOLLUX and ARADIA begin throwing more of their HIDDEN ARSENAL OF METEORS at the Ascendant, meteors which she either BREAKS with her massive arms, or grabs with her mouth and swallows whole.

She won't let herself be hit a second time.

[0:38]

From the REMAINS OF THE SLAUGHTERED ARMIES, the REAPER Casts her MAGIC to reanimate their corpses, launching an UNSTOPPABLE WAVE that crashes into BILA the CONSUMER, and threatens to keel her over from the attack.

She steadies herself on legs not really there, and then roars as her clothing- really just another aspect of her body- opens up and begins to ABSORB the Wave of UNDEAD.

This is enough of a distraction to get her hit on the head with ANOTHER METEOR.

[0:55]

The TIME PLAYERS line up, gathering together and activating a _**FRAYMOTIEF: STOP (IT'S DECAPITATION TIME).**_

All time slows for a moment- and the Time Players see that their attack barely works- BALI slowly (absurdly, as a matter of fact) turns her head towards them, completely missing as a ROGUE KNIGHT flies in from left field and delivers what would NORMALLY BE a DECAPITATING BLOW.

Instead, all that happens is that Argo's Claws cut thinly into the skin, causing a FOUNTAIN OF RAINBOW ENERGY to shoot outwards and send her flying away in the ARTERIAL SPRAY (Which heals up almost immediately even as the time stop stops).

[1:11]

JANE, MEENAH, and FEFERI take center stage as they use their LIFEY POWERS to start another HEALING SIPHON ATTACK.

Unfortunately, BALI, being at BOSS TIER as an ASCENDANT, has SO MUCH HP that this barely affects her at all.

[1:17]

Aradia FLIES in, wielding a STONE AGE WHIP and throws it straight into one of their enemies MANY EYES.

That single EYE turns to STONE- angering the Would-Be-Goddess greatly.

One of her EYELASHES turns into a large tentacle that SLAPS ARADIA AWAY- she is thankfully caught by TAVROS, who happened to be floating in that general direction.

[1:25]

Together, they nod, and Aradia wraps her whip around one of Tavros' ROCKET PROPELLED LANCES. They Line Up a Shot, and wait for just the right moment, then, FIRE!!!

The Rocket Lance shoots forwards and then navigates its way past the MANY TEETH and BEAK COVERING THE TONGUE, and then DOWN THE HATCH.

[1:33]

Bali Chokes for a moment- then finds that SOMETHING INSIDE has turned to STONE. 

This is when her REGENERATIVE ABILITIES kick in and heal the damage to the EYE and whatever was done inside of her.

She casts an evil grin over the battlefield, and then lets loose a TERRIFYING ROAR.

[1:45]

That's when a DERSITE DROP SHIP flies over the battle and RELEASES ITS ALCHEMIZED PAYLOAD.

Two massive RIVER STREAMS of ORANGE AND BLUE colored GEL LIKE PASTE.

Bali glares at the DROPSHIP, turns one of her horns into a MASSIVE TENTACLE HAND, and GRABS IT before CRUSHING the poor Dropship ENTIRELY.

This has the wonderful side-effect of causing the CORE TO EXPLODE, taking away a good portion of the Ascendant's HORN-HAND.

[1:56]

BALI THE CONSUMER SHRIEKS IN DISMAY.

That's when REZI HARLEY steps out onto the battlefield, drops a REMOTE CONTROL BOX onto the ground, and then takes a RUNNING FLIP LEAP onto a PUDDLE OF BLUE GEL.

_**SPROIIIING!!!** _

The SEER OF MIND draws out a CANE SWORD and EMBEDS IT somewhere deep into BALI's LOWER TORSO, before LEAPING OFF THE HANDLE, performing several more ACROBATIC PIROUETTES of drawing out CANE SWORDS and driving them down into BALI's Body, carving a line straight up to the the base of BALI'S THROAT, right at the BASE OF THE JAW.

With a sinister Grin, Rezi then JUMPS AWAY, flipping until she lands in SOLLUX'S FIRM PSYCHIC GRIP.

Both yell, "NOW!" ROXY presses the DETONATOR SWITCH she's been holding the entire time.

[2:29]

The Cane Swords EXPLODE- shrouding BALI in a DUST CLOUD, leaving her fate uncertain for several moments before everything fades to black---wait, what???

Oh, sorry, this Flash Animation is OVER. Welp. Dang. Okay.

I guess that means ROUND TWO is NEXT. 

* * *

**> [[S] REVISE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7jg87kn5ps)**

The Smoke Cleared.

Though heavily wounded, BALI THE CONSUMER stands tall, many eyes GLARING at the enemies before her until they settle down on a few in particular that are clustered together rather than being spread out.

Aradia, John, Jade, and Marrin all look worried as Vriska's eyes FLASH with a decrepit purple hue.

[0:14]

That's when HECATE steps into the Ascendant's LINE OF SIGHT- eyes narrowing upwards as a massive ball of energy gathers in the Ascendants MOUTH.

Everyone not standing directly behind the Denizen wisely back off several dozen yards in conscious awareness of what was about to happen.

[0:27]

The Energy Ball FIRES out of BALI'S MOUTH and hurtles forwards like a ROCKET.

Hecate just stands there, slowly raising an arm as if to block the oncoming projectile that is coming in much too fast.

[0:33]

Then- the burst of energy clashes against a GOLDEN FORCE SHIELD- with the only thing passing through it being the SHOCKWAVE OF AIR.

Behind Hecate, JOHN creates a WIND SHIELD around his fellow players. Hecate Herself doesn't so much as flinch as the shockwave tears into her and quite literally tears her skin from her bones in large chunks, like wet paper being tossed into the breeze of a fan. 

And what strange Bones they are indeed, golden and metal, curving and also straight. Instead of muscle there is strings, and instead of eyes there are glowing orbs.

[0:46]

The Energy blast dissipates, and then the golden skeleton of Hecate LEAPS FORWARDS- metal bars and strings all unspooling and revising and GROWING.

Tiny orbs of hands suddenly become massive, giant claws with bones the size of skyscrapers connecting them to the elbow and then even more to the shoulder. A slender Ribcage suddenly becomes a MASSIVE STRUCTURE that could contain whole armies of ELEPHANTS within. 

A rough set of bars making an attempted knockoff of a human skull shift, bend, and twist into the gaping maw of a MIGHTY WOLF.

And that's when the skin and flesh and fur begin to flow back onto the reshaped, massive beast like a fire burning in reverse.

_**STRIFE: ROUND TWO!!! [0:58]** _

This all happens in mid air- in mid leap- and then the UNCHAINED DENIZEN unleashes their full FURY upon the Ascendant, who quite literally has no idea what the hell just happened.

Claws and punches and feral ROARS are exchanged between the two massive combatants even as Bali sheds the remains of her Giant Vriska Guise, becoming more and more monstrous, attempting to replicate the sheer mechanical elegance that is HECATE'S CURRENT FORM.

[1:12]

Back- Back- Back! Hecate pushes the Ascendant backwards across the Battlefield, towards a NEARBY CASTLE.

Nobody thinks anything of it- least of all BALI THE CONSUMER- until it is much too late.

The FORWARD WALL COLLAPSES- and out from behind it emerges MECHA GROUDON, Piloted by the PAGE OF BREATH himself!!

[1:25]

With two giants now opposing her, Bali begins to shift forms once more- becoming something with SPEED- more than anything else. Tentacle Legs receede and somehow the Ascendant FLOATS on air.

Bali has become a MOCKERY of a WHALE, and even more of a MOCKERY of whatever Pokemon was supposed to counter GROUDON, making Tavros ROAR IN RAGE and order his mecha to launch a LAVA STRIKE straight into BALI'S FACE.

[1:39]

MECHA GROUDON fires the blast from the mouth- and BALI COUNTERS with a WATER-LIKE EXPLOSION of RAINBOW ENERGY.

An EXPLOSION occurs where the two attacks meet- and then the RAINBOW ENERGY PUSHES ONWARDS, smashing into MECHA GROUDON, and sending it BLASTING OFF into the distant horizon.

BALI, thus distracted, MISSES the FOUR-PERSON ASSAULT on her top by ARADIA, JADE, JOHN, and MARRIN until it is MUCH TOO LATE.

VOID, TIME, SPACE, BREATH- FRAYMOTIF: IMPLOSIBLE CATERWALL.

[1:50]

A massive AIR BUBBLE surrounds a LARGE CHUNK of Bali's SPINE, and then CONTRACTS AND CONTRACTS, compressing the space within across several different time lines until finally DETONATING THEM EXPLOSIVELY on the TARGET ENEMY.

This has the WONDERFUL EFFECT of BLOWING A CHUNK of Bali's Back SKY HIGH- looking something like a whale's water spout.

[1:58]

Bali, of course, dislikes that this much damage was done SEVERELY.

From the wound- FOUR TENTACLES emerge fresh and ANEW, each grabbing onto one the four PESKY PLAYERS and GRIPPING TIGHTLY.

They cry out in pain- and then Bali THROWS THEM at the Ground.

[2:05]

HECATE ROARS- and LEAPS HIGH INTO THE AIR before coming down onto Bali's back and TEARING INTO THE WOUND with CLAWS and TEETH- even going so far as to revise her form to have an EXTRA SET OF ARMS and THREE MORE ROWS OF TEETH.

Bali begins BUCKING wildly- shifting from a MOCKERY OF A WHALE into an INSULT TO BULLS EVERYWHERE.   
[2:16]

But then Hecate pulls off another TRANSFORMATION of their own- spawning MASSIVE WINGS of GOLDEN STEEL even as FUR FALLS AWAY, revealing MASSIVE DRACONIAN SCALES. A LUPINE TAIL becomes DRAGONOID.

Claws GRIP TIGHTLY into Bali's EXPOSED BACK, and then WINGS FLAP- and Hecate LIFTS the Ascendant high into the air before ROARING, and throwing her transformed enemy into the REMAINS OF THE CASTLE that MECHA GROUDON had first emerged from- setting off A ROUND OF HIDDEN EXPLOSIVES and sending MASSIVE REMAINS of ROCK, EARTH, and, yes, it needs to be said, TENTACLE CHUNKS flying everywhere.

[2:32]

During this Reprieve, JANE arrives on the scene of the FOUR FALLEN HEROES, and uses her LIFE POWERS to restore them to FULL HEALTH.

[2:40]

As BALI emerges from the RUINS of the Castle- shifted back into something vaguely more humanoid once again- YUUI TIME TELEPORTS MECHA GROUDON back into position- just in time for the SLIGHTLY DENTED ROBOT to spew MASSIVE FOUNTAINS OF FLAME AND ROCK out of its mouth at the Ascendant.

BALI ROARS in DISMAY as the CASTLE MELTS, causing her to SINK DOWNWARDS.

[2:52]

That's when KARKAT focuses his BLOOD POWERS through EVERY AVAILABLE PLAYER for the ULTIMATE FRAYMOTIEF:

_**THE TIES THAT BIND.** _

This has the WONDERFUL EFFECT of turning the MOLTEN EARTH into MOLTEN BLOOD- which shoots up BLOOD-MADE MANACLES that attach around BALI'S NECK AND WRISTS- holding her firmly to the spot.

[2:59]

A STARING CONTEST ensues as all players GLARE at BALI, and BALI glares RIGHT BACK AT THEM.

That's when ERIDAN withdraws his AHAB'S CROSSHAIRS, lines up a shot, and FIRES OFF a concentrated stream of _**KAME HAME FUCK YOU VVRIS!!!!** _straight at her face.

That blast is JOINED by SOLLUX'S PSIIONIC EYEBLASTS, and HECATE's DRAGONOID MOUTH spewing out a concentrated beam of ICE MAGIC, for added effect.

Finally, that's when RHOZEE aims ECHIDNA'S NEEDLEWANDS at the SKY, and FIRES OFF A SIGNAL FLARE (Made out of MAGIC!)

**ROUND TWO, END.**

* * *

**>[[S] (f)RE(e)FALL](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5UVjKZcz5w)**

The Signal Given, a BATTLE FLEET shimmers into visibility high up in the Skaian atmosphere above the Battlefield. The FLEET is made up of DERSITE and PROSPITIAN ships alike- this much is obvious as they descend closer to the ground.

[0:15]

Our camera view pans up sharply onto a CERTAIN BATTLESHIP- focusing first on a pair of DERSITE FEET, then panning backwards to reveal them belonging to the ONE ARMED JACK NOIR, who is standing alongside the WHITE QUEEN of another sessions' Prospit.

Standing behind them are the PARCEL MISTRESS and AUTHORITY REGULATOR from the White Queen's Session- both manning the TARGETING CONTROLS for that ship's weaponry.

Jack gives the nod, and the DUO LET LOOSE a SPECIAL PAYLOAD of ROCKETS. These ones have spearheads made out of the DARK ANCHOR CHAIN METAL, and each impact causes MASSIVE DAMAGE to BALI'S ASCENDANT FORM.

[0:32]

Massive BATTLESHIP ROCKETS are then fired from every other battleship in the FLEET. Each round fired is the standard PROSPITIAN/DERSITE INCINDIARY ROUNDS, only enhaned by a TIME/SPACE FRAYMOTIEF which locks everything caught within the ensuing explosions in a bubble of frozen space/time, preventing her from healing.

[0:40]

Dirk nods towards Karkat, and tosses him his UNBREAKABLE KATANA for some BLOOD ASPECT SHENANIGANS.

Dave and Yuui take up defensive positions in front of Dirk while he is weaponless- and BALI NOTICES, but is unable to do anything but scream as her form continues to be restrained to the battlefield.

[0:48]

Karkat holds up the UNBREAKABLE SWORD into the air, and BLOOD ENERGIES gather around him and begin flowing into the BLADE- transforming it from PURE SILVER to BLOOD RED AND SHADOWY BLACK.

[0:56]

Meanwhile, freshly arriving in the session is IBRIS, sensing such a MASSIVE EXPENDITURE of ENERGY from Skaia, that she is drawn there like a moth to a flame.

Cloaking herself for safety, she descends to the Troll's Battlefield and OBSERVES EVENTS.

[1:05]

It is a WAR- all out warfare with all sorts of fighters confronting a NEWBORN ASCENDANT whose powers... 

Could it possibly be? No, that couldn't be Yaovi, Ibris shakes her head. The signature is close, but all wrong... but it was CLOSE ENOUGH to lure her to this session regardless.

[1:20]

Jake ascends into the air, gathering HOPE MAGIC around his body into the frame of a GIANT ORB.

Like a GIANT SUN radiates light, so does this HOPE ORB radiate ANGELS- ghost like dragon demons that fly out and begin to swarm the battlefield- aimless, until ERIDAN, the PRINCE OF HOPE, raises his arm, and orders them to ATTACK BALI.

[1:27]

Ibris's eyes widen at this RAW MANIFESTATION OF POWER...

And then her nose catches whiff of the REAPER'S SCENT, and she LOOKS DOWN in time to watch the DAMNED GIRL floating up into the air to join the PAGE OF HOPE in the air- holding a VARIETY OF SOULGEMS in hand.

Curious to see what happens next, Ibris Waits.

[1:35]

All eyes turn towards YOMI as she begins to juggle the soul gems within a MAGIC MATRIX....

And so, it is completely missed as BRAIN GHOST DIRK materializes FULLY and aims his hands at BALI'S EXPOSED BACKSIDE.

[1:44]

With a JOLT- Bali's SOUL is ATTACKED by a massive TEARING FORCE from one side. It is but a MINOR ANNOYANCE to an Ascendant such as her, so she--- SCREAMS as a second burst of SOUL TEARING MAGIC emerges from the REAL PRINCE OF HEART, dragging her soul in YET ANOTHER DIRECTION.

Dave grabs the BLOODY KATANA from Karkat, and then TIME LEAPS across the battlefield to deliver it to Argo, who takes off with a flap of her wings- soaring HIGH INTO THE AIR.

[1:52]

BALI'S SOUL- being torn in TWO DIRECTIONS, manifests strangely. ONE HALF appears as a THIEF OF LIGHT GARBED VRISKA SERKET, the OTHER HALF appears as a HORRIFYING AMALGAMATION of LORD ENGLISH, A HORRORTERROR, and a METAL HORSE. 

But it's still tied and bound to the BODY- and she is FIGHTING to keep herself WHOLE.

Not for long.

[2:00]

Argo reaches the PINNACLE OF HER ASCENT, and then BRINGS THE SWORD DOWN upon the TEAR in the SOUL.

She swings clean and true, and SPLITS THE SOUL in TWAIN- this jolt being enough to FULLY RIP THEM out of the ASCENDED BODY.

[2:07]

Yomi's SPELL MATRIX fires off- sending twin beams of SOUL TRAPPING MAGIC at the two SOUL CHUNKS, grabbing the MORE OBVIOUSLY INSANE HALF, and beginning to SHOVE IT into the LARGEST of the available SOUL GEMS.

The other reaches out, grabs the free-floating soul of VRISKA SERKET, and easily drags it into another, smaller, Soul Gem.

[2:17]

The MASSIVE FUSED SOUL, however, continues to put up a STRUGGLE.

With the FULL ATTENTION of TWO DIRKS now on it- they use their SOUL TEARING MAGICS to FORCE APART the SOUL FUSION- ripping out a CHERUB GIRL, a TINY SQUID, a SWEATY TROLL wearing POINTY SHADES, and HALF OF AN INSANE CLOWN.

[2:23]

Yomi REDIRECTS more SPELL TENDRILS into the SEPARATE FRAGMENTS, and Shoves each of them into the smaller Soul Gems before focusing on the STILL LARGEST SOUL remaining- a CHERUB MALE whose soul radiates RAINBOW ENERGY.

Yet still, the LORD OF TIME roars, STRUGGLES, and REFUSES to be PUT DOWN.

Until a certain MUSE OF SPACE adds her own SPACE MAGICS into Yomi's Spell Matrix- and yet it is STILL NOT ENOUGH.

Argo throws her OWN POWERS at it- John, Rhozee, Dave, and Jade as well. 

[2:39]

In short order, everyone else adds their own might to the mix. Life energies- Time Steams- Windy Things- Light Beams- Void Blasts- Angel attacks- even a stray coin is FLUNG at the spirit in an attempt to banish it with iron- and yet the Damned-able CALIBORN refuses to go down- dragging this process out for every INCH HE CAN TAKE.

[2:55]

Jake ROARS- and FOCUSES his Hope Powers STRAIGHT into the SPELL MATRIX- finally getting enough energy into it to begin finally pulling the Wayward Soul into the Gem.

Closer, Closer, the ghost of Caliborn struggles for every inch, but it's a losing battle now. He is well and truly done for, yet he struggles still.

"NO!" he yells. "NO!!! I WON'T! I WON'T TRADE ONE MORE PRISON FOR ANOTHER!!!"

"SUCKS TO BE YOU THEN!" Karkat shouts at the soul.

[3:12]

As he is thrown into the SOUL GEM, Caliborn's voice can be heard crying out, "THIS WAS NOT WHAT I WANTED AT ALL!!!"

Feet first- then knees- then hips and waist and then he's up to his chest- Caliborn grips out onto reality itself, willing his rainbow powers not to fail him and to tear him out of this situation...

[3:28]

And then he is gone- the spell matrix COLLAPSES with nothing else to shove into a gem, and as Jake's HOPE FIELD begins to fade away, HECATE ROARS firing off a BLAST OF MAGIC from their mouth- the signal for the battle fleet to launch their FINAL STRIKE against the SOULLESS BODY that remains behind- Hecate's attack and all of the FINAL MISSLES hit with ease, ripping the soul-less corpse to shreds.

[3:36]

And so, as the remains of BALI crumble to ASH, everyone else falls to their knees out of sheer exhaustion. 

Ibris nods, and decides that this is her time to STRIKE, her cloak disengages, and she grins upon the weakened heroes who would dare to side with the Reaper.

And so she descends- all eyes looking up upon her in trepidation, fear, and... anger?

[3:43]

  
Karkat grits his teeth, glaring up at the newly arrived Ascendant as he tightens his grip on a BLOOD ENHANCED SCYTHE.

Rhozee and Jake both worriedly look at Yomi, who is standing stock still, absolutely terrified of what is to come.

Dirk glances at Argo, who is still holding his sword, and she has no way to return it quickly at this stage.

John and Aradia look at each other sadly, knowing for sure what is about to come will hurt, very much so.

[4:00]

Jade and Marrin stare up at Ibirs, and with a shiver of fear running down their backs, resolve to fight with their all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright. That's... that. Hoo. Boy. Things are about to get dicey. Show's not over yet but the next chapter is a TOOOOONNN of Textlog formatting and... YEAH. OKAY. That's enough uploading for tonight.
> 
> ...I'll... let this ambitious sequence of events speak for itself. I've got no words to talk about it right now.


	47. ACT 5 ACT 2: The Formatting Strikes Back.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things heat up rapidly as everyone takes a few critical moments to gather their wits and breaths before diving once more into the fray.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Insult Flinging.  
> Risky Last Minute Plan Preparations.  
> Sudden Mode Change Transformations.

**> ==/==>**

BRS: YAOVI!!!

YOMI: Oh fuck me-

JOHN: oh shit! its the rocket girl!

ARGO: why now?! WHY NOW!!?!

KARKAT: HEY! YOU! SHOUTY GIRL!

BRS: _**WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!?**_

KARKAT: GET FUCKING LOST!!!

KARKAT: COME BACK LATER- MAYBE IN ANOTHER FIVE OR SIX MONTHS WHEN WE'VE HAD A CHANCE TO REST AND COME AT YOU FRESH AND KICK YOUR TOO-SHORT-SHORTS CLAD ASS BACK INTO THE VOID WHERE YOU FUCKING BELONG!!!!

BRS: ...short... sho...

BRS: WELL YOU'RE ONE TO TALK- _**MISTER SWOOSHY CAPE!** _WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE EVEN!? **_A SQUIRE???_**

KARKAT: I'LL HAVE YOU FUCKING KNOW I'M THE GOD DAMNED KNIGHT OF FUCKING _ ***BLOOD***_ , SHORT-SHORTS!!

REZI: (K4RK4T! DON'T 4NT4GON1Z3 H3R!)

KARKAT: I'LL DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT!

KARKAT: WE JUST FUCKING BEAT A HONEST TO FUCK ASCENDED GOD LIKE BEING WITH NOTHING MORE THAN OUR WITS!!

KARKAT: SO YOU'LL EXCUSE ME FOR NOT BLAH BLAH BLAH!!

BRS: WHAAAATTT!???! OH YOU'RE GONNA YAK YAK YAK!!!

KARKAT: BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH MELT DOWN YOUR FUCKING STUPID GUNS BLAH BLAH!

BRS: YAK YAK YAK YAK I'LL FEED YOU YOUR CAPE YAK YAK YAK!

KARKAT: TAKE THATS AND WHAT HAVE YOU!

BRS: OH NO YOU DIDNTS AND SO FORTH!!

**> FUTURE PI: What is life?**

Life... life is the eternal struggle between the DREAD LORD FATHER OF DEATH and his OPPOSITE, the HOLY LORD OF ALL CREATION.

Death chases after that which has been born anew, and Life continually refreshes that which has been slain by by SITHIS. Between them, lies the VOID- the stage upon which the PLAY OF LIFE is Set.

This is what you have come to after A VERY LONG TIME SPENT IN MEDITATION within the Void.

After that, you LEFT THE PLANET BEHIND- to explore the void.

Naturally, of course, after you left, the PLANET DISAPPEARED. Coming and Going, as easy as breathing in and exhaling. You were not surprised.

It is a cycle with which you have accepted...

Now, if only you had some way of making a MAP.

**> ==/==>**

RHOZEE: (Quickly, while Karkat has her distracted.)

RHOZEE: (Is there any weakness we can exploit here, Yomi?)

YOMI: (no! _there isn't!_ fuckfuckfuck i am so dead)

RHOZEE: (Calm breaths, Yomi! Think! There has to be something??)

YOMI: (mato- ibris- has been ascended for nearly as long as i have!)

YOMI: (we lucked out with vriska because she was *new* at this!)

JOHN: (maybe i could try to zap her somewhere else??)

RHOZEE: (Maybe. Let's call that Plan Z and work backwards from there.)

KARKAT: WELL _ ***EXCUUUUUSEEEE ME***_ I DIDN'T KNOW WE WERE DEALING WITH A STUCK UP PRINCESS WHO DIDN'T GET HER FUCKING HAPPY GRUB'S KIDDY MEAL TOY!

BRS: _ ***SHARP GASP!!***_

RHOZEE: (URGH. No, Yomi. Offering yourself up as a sacrifice is not an option!)

KARKAT: AND MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT A PAIR OF PROPER PANTS TO GO WITH THAT (admittedly awesome looking) LONG COAT INSTEAD OF WASTING ALL YOUR MONEY THAT STUPID ASS *CHOKER COLLAR*!!!

BRS: ***FOR THE LAST TIME***

BRS: _***STOP INSULTING MY CLOTHING CHOICES!!!!***_

KARKAT: OH _ ***HEEEELLL*** _NO!

KARKAT: I'M JUST GETTING WARMED THE FUCK UP!!

KARKAT: WE ARE *GETTING ENTRENCHED* UP IN HERE SO BUCKLE THE *FUCK* UP!

KARKAT: AND LISTEN TO ME BADLY PARAPHRASE A BUNCH OF KANAYA'S RANTS ON FASHION HISTORY!

KANAYA: !!!

DAVE: (so uh, is anyone else kinda getting turned on by karkats choice word choices here or is it just me?)

ARGO: (not the time, dave!! (but yeah, kinda, just a little.. >m> ... ))

RHOZEE: (no! no john! bad! bad idea! we are filing that under PLAN B for BAD IDEA! No Self Sacrifice!)

JOHN _: *hisses*_

JOHN: (yeah, you're right. fuck. this is hard...)

**> SOMEONE: Ask ARQUIUS how to build SOUL BOTS.**

ARQUIUS is presently stuck inside of a SOUL GEM and cannot be interacted with.

**> ==/==>**

JADE: marrin?

MARRIN: yeah, jade?

JADE: ...do you think maybe we could do that thing we were going to try using on the black king here?

MARRIN: ...maaayyybeeee...

MARRIN: do you think dirk would let us take his swoooo... riiight, argo has it right now doesn't she?

JADE: yeah, she does.

KARKAT: NUBBY!? _***NUBBY*?!** _REZI, CHECK MY EARS FOR ME, DID SHE SERIOUSLY JUST STEAL YOUR ONCE FAVORITE PLATONIC NICKNAME FOR ME AND TRY TO USE IT AS AN _INSULT??_

REZI: WHY Y3S, Y3S SH3 D1D!

REZI: 1'M GONN4 SU3 YOU, SHORT-SHORTS!!!

BRS: **RAAAAAAHHH!!! YOU CANNOT SUE ME! I AM THE BLACK ROCK SHOOTER AND YOU WILL _ALL DIE_ IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME YAOVI RIGHT THIS MINUTE!!!!**

KARKAT: YAOVI? I DON'T KNOW ANY YAOVI. DO YOU KNOW ANY YAOVIS, TEREZI?

REZI: 1 KNOW NO 'Y40V1'S, NO.

BRS: _**OH FUCK YOU!!!**_

REZI: TH4NKS, BUT NO TH4NKS. 1'V3 SWORN OFF H4V1NG FUCK BUDD13S UNTT1L 1M 100% C3RT41N TH4T MY L1F3 1SN'T 1N 1MM3D14T3 D4NG3R.

KARKAT: BESIDES THAT, I'M TAKEN. I'M FLATTERED, BUT I'M **_*FUCKING TAKEN*_ **SO HOW ABOUT YOU TAKE THIS ANSWER AND CONSIDER IT THUSLY:

KARKAT: **_GO!!! FUCK!!! YOURSELF!!!_**

**> TWIN QUEENS: React to LOSS of KINGDOM.**

At some point during the QUEEN'S DUEL for... whatever stupid reason it was... the TWO PLANETS of BEFORUS and ALTERNIA disappeared completely!!

And so the two Queens remained STUCK on the ROYAL FAMILY BATTLE CRUISER, with only their own company to keep.

Needless to say, both decided there was no point waiting around, and so set their ship to DRIFT AIMLESSLY through space. This got old quickly, and then another stupid argument about something else utterly stupid arose...

This time, it ended in DEATH for both Queens.

**> ==/==>**

ARADIA: (okay, even i can tell even karkat can't keep this up for much longer.)

YUUI: (What do we do then?)

ROXY: (fuuuukkk, this is so messed up what do we even do??)

DIRK: (I need to get my sword.)

JANE: (Bad Idea! Who Knows if you taking it back now could set her off early!!)

SOLLUX: ((II for one would liike two 2ee how long kk can keep thii2 up.))

MEENAH: (shouty's got her octo-fried so far...)

MEENAH: (do u think i could sneak up behind and harpoon 'er?)

FEFERI: (not unless you've suddenly become a void player, meenah!)

MEENAH: (fair 'nough)

BRS: ---A FUCKING BACKSTABBER!!

KARKAT: BACK STAB HER? NO, I JUST SAID I DON'T KNOW HER!!

KARKAT: WEREN'T YOU LISTENING????

ARANEA: (Oh No. I've got a 8ad feeling all of a sudden.)

**> ==/==>**

_**BRS: THAT.** _

_**BRS: IS.** _

_**BRS: IT!!!** _

_**BRS: I HAVE HAD IT** _

_**BRS: WITH** _

_**BRS: YOU** _

_**BRS: STALLING!!!!!** _

A massive BLUE FIRE leaps out of IBRIS'S LEFT EYE, before engulfing her entire body in FLAMES.

KARKAT: WELL...

KARKAT: FUCK, I DON'T HAVE A GOOD COMEBACK FOR THAT.

Ibris begins to laugh when another voice cuts her off.

"Too Bad." Hecate shouted- "BECAUSE I DO!!!"

**> ==/==>**

Suddenly, a massive pair of WOLF/DRAGON JAWS chomp down upon IBRIS, concealing her from view, flame and all.

Cheers go out from the heroes!

But then....

Flames FLOW from between Hecate's teeth- shifting from COLD BLUE to BLOODY PURPLE.

"CWAP!! WUN!~" she warns before-

**> ==/==>**

  
And then IBRIS EXPLODES out of Hecate's Mouth- clothing having changed entirely from her [PREVIOUS STATE OF DRESS](http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/blackrockshooter/images/7/7f/Black_Rock_Shooter_2012_Anime_design_Main.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20150911042222) into something more...

[CLEARLY INSANE.](https://images-goodsmile-info.s3-ap-northeast-1.amazonaws.com/cgm/images/product/20120214/3464/17261/large/55685c50ed9fc379daeb1004b0684ef9.jpg)

**> ==/==>**

Hecate flips over backwards and hits the ground with a mouth-less grunt, still alive, but clearly knocked out of the fight from that attack.

IBRIS floats over them all, and her eyes all but radiate killing intent.

**IBRS: Guess what?**

She says this in a mechanical monotone reminiscent of a voice synthesyzer.

**IBRS: I just decided to release all of my power limiters.**

**IBRS: So you are all going to be in for a Real.**

**IBRS: _BAD._**

**IBRS: _TIME._**

Silence falls across the battlefield as her right arm shifts into a massive sword/gun combination.

**IBRS: _Let us begin, shall we?_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dave and Karkat suddenly are both remembering having dated in the past life as of Karkat's sudden declaration of being taken. That's really all there is to say on the matter. If they survive this they'll definitely be shacking up again.  
> \---  
> Mato/Ibris is what happens when you have the Insane Black Rock Shooter archetype leveled up to godhood. If you've seen the 2012 anime then you know *exactly* how bad she was just on the Otherworld... Supped up this much? Hoo. It's gonna be a bloodbath.


	48. END OF ACT 5 ACT 2: [S] REPRISE.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Brutal Fighting.  
> Character Deaths.  
> Self Sacrifice.

**> [[S] REPRISE.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GwzHVFhF5g)**

IBRIS steps forwards, slowly, surely making her way away from Hecate and towards Yomi instead. Music plays, slow and warped, like time itself struggles against her very aura. 

Yomi cowers under the intense, murderous gaze of someone who could have once been her closest friend.

Mato... is long gone. Only The Insane Black Rock Shooter- IBRIS- remains.

[0:20]

John rushes to the forefront- windy powers gathering in the palms of his hands as if to weaponize his zappy powers.

Ibris takes one look at him- and it is a look filled with contempt. How DARE someone prioritize this murderer? This backstabber? THIS---

THIS----!!!

And then she realizes that she just flat out doesn't care anymore. She's caught her prey and there is no escape anymore.

Ibris smirks. Today, she'd take everything from these fools for protecting Yomi Takanashi from her wrath.

[0:40]

Leisurely, as if she has all the time in the world, Ibris raises her right arm and points the tip of the blade at John. The message is clear- leave, or die.

John narrows his eyes at her as the windy energy gathers to full force. Go ahead and try, that look says.

Well, Ibris decided, if he insists, then she very well try.

And so she does.

[1:00]

The Gun portion of the massive arm cannon fires- and John Egbert is Blasted across the battlefield- bowling over anyone who was not fast enough to get out of the way.

Aradia, one of those who had been standing behind John, quickly gets back up to her feet to rush over and check on him once he lands. The bell chiming sound the gun makes as it reloads settles his fate in everyone's minds before she can make it, though.

_**Heroic.** _

[1:10]

Everyone turns to glare at Ibirs, and she eyes them- daring them to attack. She could kill any one of them just as easily. 

While everyone else takes a wise step back- towards a defensive position around whoever was closest to them- Aradia takes a bold step forwards.

[1:20]

She draws not a whip from her sylladex, but instead a CLOCKWORK THEMED HAMMER, and then leaps forwards into a Time Travel Attack.

With reflexes faster than the eye can blink, Ibris nonchalantly moves her sword into position to block every single attack Aradia makes until finally catching onto the pattern at which Aradia was appearing at.

The next movement doesn't so much as block as it does predict where Aradia will be- by having the blade's tip be occupying the same space as Aradia's stomach.

[1:40]

Everyone cries out as Aradia appears, self impaling completely by accident. 

But even so, Gritting her teeth, Aradia raises the hammer, and glares straight into Ibris' eyes.

_**'Got you!'** _

The TIME HAMMER comes crashing down on IBRIS'S ARM CANNON with a resounding CLANG-- something inside the cannon breaks from the SNAPPING SOUND that echoes out a moment later. It turns out to have been something in the firing mechanism- as the gun CLICKS LOUDLY as Ibris tries to fire it off again.

Ibris ROARS, and swings the cannon-sword arm- dislodging Aradia off of the blade and sending her flying into a RANDOM NEARBY TREE.

[1:59]

Now disarmed of her RANGED ATTACKS, our Heroes RUSH IN to avenge and/or rescue their fallen friends.

With a frightening ease, Ibris kicks, punches or swats the annoying heroes away as she continues on her one-woman-march towards Yomi, who continues to back away with every step forwards Ibris makes.

Weapons clashing against her armor make loud noises as they bounce off and drag their owners with them. Even stranger- weapons that hit Ibris' exposed thighs and stomach similarly share the same knock-off effect, only without the loud clashing sounds of metal on metal.

Kanaya swings her chainsaw in for a decapitation blow at the neck- but quickly finds her chainsaw's blade half the length it used to be.

Energy blasts from Rhozee's wands and Eridan's CROSSHAIRS simply get absorbed by the FLAME AURA around Ibris.

[2:22]

Feferi and Meenah arrive at Aradia's side, finding her still alive, and try to use their magics to HEAL HER.... but for some strange, and concerning reason, their LIFE POWERS do nothing to close the wound or stop the bleeding...

If anything it just accelerates it.

Panicked looks shoot across Meenah and Feferi's faces as they realize what this means- something to do with either Ibris' weapons or specific attacks are designed to ensure a fatal strike each and every time.

Feferi roars- and leaps at Ibris' back with her own trident- and ends up cut in half at the waist when Ibris delivers a nonchalant heel-spinning slice with the sword.

[2:30]

Meenah goes to move after Feferi, but it stopped by Aradia grabbing her hand. Meenah looks back, and Aradia shakes her head 'no.'

Meenah looks over at the ongoing fight, and closes her eyes as tears threaten to flow from them.

[2:40]

Tavros brings MECHA GROUDON to bare- and the heroes all scatter behind it as he unleashes a LAVA BLAST.

Ibris launches a FLAME ATTACK from her LEFT HAND that hits the lava blast and stalls it out, holding and holding it in place until finally overwhelming it and smashing straight into the MECHA'S MOUTH- then down the SPECIAL TUBES that generated the LAVA BLASTS.

The lava generator inside the Mecha Overheats and EXPLODES- creating another MOUTH BASED EXPLOSION that sends Tavros flying off into the horizon yet again- only this time without the aid of a mecha to cushion the landing.

The heroes continue their RUNNING RETREAT even as Ibris SLICES CLEAN THROUGH the remains of the robot, and vaults over the LOWER HALF to continue her charge.

[3:05]

Jade nods to Marrin, and as the Prince of Void FADES OUT to do whatever it is they plan to do, Jade steps forwards and ROARS as the muscles beneath her skin clearly expand- the fur covering parts of her body then expand to cover everywhere it does not- which thankfully hides from view the disfigurement going on in the face as it becomes that of a wolf's rather than a human girl's.

For the first time in the entire session, the WITCH OF SPACE unleashes the fullest extent of her modified power set, and leaps into battle with a SHORT RANGE TELEPORT.

Ibris tries to do the same trick as she did against Aradia, yet finds it incredibly hard to land a hit on the pesky werewolf girl.

Instead, this time, Jade lands hit after hit against the Ascendant- tearing long GROOVES into the armor, and lightly scratching the skin wherever she makes contact.

[3:25]

Argo's eyes widen as she recognizes the tactic in play, and leaps in with the BLOODIFIED KATANA in an attempt to exploit Ibris' confusion- only to get a roundhouse kick to the gut for her troubles, knocking her far away, and forcing her to lose her grip on the katana.

[3:33]

Jade then grabs hold of IBRIS'S CANNON ARM and then BITES DOWN upon the leather armor in between the END OF THE CANON and Ibris' SHOULDER.

Ibris roars in pain as sharp teeth finally penetrate deep into the flesh beneath the leather- and blood is drawn on the Ascendant for the first time.

[3:44]

Marrin fades into existence as they pick up the sword Argo had dropped, but this turns out to be a costly move.

Ibris clenches her free hand, and tosses an exploding fireball at Marrin- knocking them away and forcing Jade to teleport away to catch them.

Both fade away from sight as she does this, and Ibris' next fireball fails to hit her target at all.

[3:56]

That's when Roxy summons a GIANT PERFECTLY GENERIC OBJECT right above Ibris, and seemingly SQUASHING HER FLAT for a few critical moments...

But then Ibris's AURA practically EXPLODES- vaporizing the GIANT GENERIC OBJECT and leaving her looking more than a bit UNHINGED from all the resistance thrown against her.

[4:06]

Why? Her eyes ask of the heroes. Why do you protect her? What has she done to earn your trust??

Jake answers with a firm glare of his own- one that shoots back that she told them the truth, and that they accepted Yomi regardless of what she had done because she had only done it to save her own life.

Ibris scoffs as she process that idea. Trust? Who needs trust? 

[4:13]

She decides that she'll make them all pay for that trust with their lives.

She begins to gather up another FLAME AURA attack- this time, there would be NOTHING TO STOP IT.

That's when JADE comes out of thin air- wrapping her legs around IBRIS's WAIST, and holding on tight as she bares the extreme flames of the left arm to aim it upwards at the sky with one hand/paw, and restraining the SWORD ARM with her other.

[4:25]

Marrin fades into existence in between the other heroes and Ibris- their clothes are burned clean through to the skin in places- where blood can be seen flowing from the wounds.

In their hands is the BLOODIED KATANA, and in their violet eyes are ASSURED VENGEANCE as they briefly lock with Ibris's eyes, then shift over to Jade's.

Jade gives a NOD to Marrin, then BITES DOWN with her teeth into IBRIS'S neck, right above the RIGHT SHOULDER- eliciting another scream from the Ascendant as a SPACE-VOID FRAYMOTIEF BEGINS,

Marrin closes their eyes, takes a deep breath as they enter a STANCE, and then PROPEL THEMSELVES forwards with VOID POWERS.

The SWORD glows with the power of the FRAYMOTIF.

[4:45]

Rhozee's eyes widen, and she quickly gives the command for everyone to GET AWAY as QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE.

Dave and Yuui abuse their TIME TRAVEL POWERS to clear everyone away as fast as humanly possible within the next few critical seconds.

Flying STRAIGHT and UNERRINGLY TRUE, the KATANA'S BLADE pierces into IBRIS'S CHEST- straight through the center of the rib cage where the faintest outline of a BLUE STAR suddenly IGNITES as it is pierced- then continues on through- and out IBRIS'S BACK into Jade, who merely bites down HARDER through the pain.

The BLUE STAR expands- shooting high into the air as the **_FRAYMOTIEF: Opposites Collide_ **reaches its FINAL STAGE.

SPACE and VOID icons appear on either side of the BLUE STAR- which CRACKS, and then SHATTERS as the SOUL EQUIVALENT REACTION of MATTER and ANTIMATTER meeting occurs.

[5:05]

From the AERIAL PERSPECTIVE of the BATTLE FLEET, a WEARY VILLAGER watches as a massive FOUNTAIN of BLUE, GREEN, and PURPLE FIRE shoots up, swirling into the air like a massive geyser of ARCANE ENERGY.

The flame tower continues upwards and outwards, and then begins to CURVE thanks to the OTHER BATTLEFIELD'S GRAVITY, drawing it back downwards and smashing into its surface.

This lasts for several seconds before the FLAMES VANISH and TWIN TUNNELS have been carved into both Battlefields, going down straight to the CORES.

[5:27]

With the light show over, Dave and Yuui teleport back to the Trolls Battlefield to see what happened.

On either side of the GIANT HOLE IN THE GROUND, Marrin and Jade's bodies lay peacefully, both having succumbed to their wounds- no doubt HEROIC in any book.

That's when Meenah comes walking over with Aradia's body across her back, and FEFERI under each arm, crying her eyes out.

With Dave and Yuui pulling time travel double duty, they carry each dead body upwards and away from Skaia.

As they ascend, our view shoots down into the TUNNEL- down and down until we reach the core and discover the fate of IBRIS' BODY...

A body that has reverted to the state it had been in before ascending- the shape of a young school girl- that slowly, but surely, decays away into dust as the fragments of its soul drift out and away into the void...

Where those would land? Nobody could say.

Our camera then pulls back and away from Skaia- then out of the Medium- past the Veil- then into what should have been the Furthest Ring, but is instead now just a writhing mass of ENERGY TENDRILS and SUB-SPATIAL STATIC.

[6:12]

Our view then pulls outwards further, through a GLASS PANEL that is part of a FOURTH WALL, resting within a LARGE BOXED IN CRATE.

Out further, the CRATE that rests in the former ATTIC of the HARLEY RESIDENCE that Rezi lived in...

Out further to the EXTERIOR VIEW of the house itself, as GREEN LIGHT flashes through the ATRIUM WINDOWS, before EXPLODING VIOLENTLY as the HOUSE enters the Medium.

Our view pulls out again, to see the planet as it is hit by a LARGE METEOR shortly there after, and then out again, once more into the SUB SPACE STATIC.

[7:13]

Then, out past yet another FOURTH WALL, framed with CURTAINS that slowly draw closed as the sound of static overwhelms everything.

**> END OF ACT 5 ACT 2 **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO.
> 
> Yeah.
> 
> That happened.
> 
> John, Aradia, Jade, and Marrin. 
> 
> Why those four? Well. Honestly, I can't remember much of the specific reasoning for the plot that I had at the time beyond that I had plans for their souls to reincarnate into characters in the Mystryal Timeline who would eventually Ascend again after hundreds of cycles of reincarnation.
> 
> As to who those characters would be, I won't spoil if only because Mystryal has its own rewrites pending in the future. That said, there's some obvious thematic tie-ins that, if one views the character list in abstract, they could piece it together.


	49. ACT 6: Revivals and Decisions.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So begins the final upload spree for this fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Revival.  
> Informing people of their own death.  
> Time Loops.  
> Discussion of Reincarnation.

**> FEFERI: Awaken**

You are now FEFERI and.... you groan as you come to.

JANE: Oh thank god it worked!

FEFERI: wh...what hit me?

FEFERI: i feel like a sword fish gutted me.

MEENAH: you DIED!

And then as you start to sit up, Meenah is hugging you and... when was the last time she had ever hugged you?? You look around and... there's John's body, Aradia's... Jade and Marrin??

FEFERI: what the shell happened?

JANE: That's... a long story.

You finally get Meenah to stop hugging you enough to fully stand up and examine the METEOR LAB that you all had been hiding in earlier. (Meenah then latches on and wraps her arms around your right arm as if she doesn't want to let go.)

Not everyone is around right now, only those who are currently grieving over their lost ones.

JANE: Meenah told us about how Aradia's wound wasn't healing up.

JANE: Yomi told us after she'd finally calmed down, but Ibris' honed specialty was preventing healing magic of any kind from directly working, as a counter to Yomi's necromancy.

FEFERI: That _**B---EACH!!**_

JANE: We weren't sure if I could heal you or not after Marrin and Jade killed her.

JANE: Yomi wasn't optimistic, but.... then again, she had no idea that Space/Void as a combination could utterly annihilate a soul like that.

FEFERI: I didn't know that was an option either!! 38O

JANE: According to Roxy, it's a Suicide attack for the Heroes that perform it.

JANE: Last Ditch as Last Ditch Gets.

JANE: It was only teachable through Nyx as part of a Denizen Deal and Marrin...

RHOZEE: *sniff* they thought they were expendable, being an alternate version of me.

FEFERI: Oh Glub!

FEFERI: But what about Jade??

JANE: I don't think she knew about the exact connotations of the Fraymotief specifically.

JANE: But then again, I never really got to know her all that well in either time line so I can't say for certain.

JANE: Callie certainly wasn't aware of it existing.

RHOZEE: *Sobs*

KANAYA: I Was Not Aware Of It Either.

Kanaya's sudden entrance makes you jump slightly, but then you realx as she kneels down and starts masaging Rhozee's shoulders. While she does this, however, she looks over at Jade's body, where Argo is kneeling nearby, silent, but clearly upset.

KANAYA: I Am Not--

KANAYA: I DO Not Feel As If I Should Be Able To Speak Of Her Motives

KANAYA: However

KANAYA: I Suspect Jade Was Well Aware What Restraining Ibris Would Do To Her When Marrin Struck With That Sword

JANE: Dirk says he saw Jade nod to Marrin like he'd done to Dave back in the old time line.

JANE: Remember, I had to put his head back on and...?

RHOZEE: *WAILS LOUDLY* WHY, YOU STUPID CAT!??!

JANE: ....Maybe we should go elsewhere...

**> ==//=>**

Meenah and Jane lead you both to another room in the Meteor, passing by John and Aradia along the way.

Their bodies are positioned next to each other, hands held together.

Yuui is nowhere to be seen, although you're sure you saw her here when you woke up. Rezi sits at a COMPUTER near John, but seems busy writing something to pay you any attention. 

FEFERI: What was that about?

MEENAH: Rhozee said 'Rezi was tryin' to date 'im, so...

She goes uncharacteristically silent, and it's only then that it hits you that she's been silent as well.

JANE: I put their hands together, so that they could be together, at least.

FEFERI: And we can't help them?

JANE: No, it's--

ZAP!!

JOHN: whew! okay we're baaaa.......

You, Jane, and Meenah both stare at John and a LONG HAIRED ARADIA who have JUST REAPPEARED out of thin air.

ARAIDA: john, i think you screwed up the landing.

JOHN: wow, you three look like you've seen a ghoooo....

JOHN: fuck... things went wrong, didn't they??

JOHN: wait...

JOHN: OH COM---

Meenah quickly leaps forwards and slaps a hand over John's Mouth.

MEENAH: SSSSSHHHH!!!!

She lets go, and John gives her a sad look.

JOHN: we died, didn't we?

JANE: Yes. You Did.

JOHN: fuck.

ARADIA: that about sums it up, doesn't it...?

JANE: Did you get the secret weapon?

JANE: Future you didn't have it on him.

JOHN: what? no, it wasn't finished yet so...

JOHN: we... came back... fuck.

JANE: Damn it.

JOHN: aradia, stay here, i'm gonna go grab it before something bad happens and throws us off course.

ARADIA: okay

And then the ghost is gone with another ZAP.

ARADIA: how did it happen?

ARADIA: how did we die?

ARADIA: we beat vriska, obviously, but how did we die?

And just like that, your heart feels like it's going to stop.

They don't know.

FEFERI: we can't tell you.

ARADIA: i understand

ARADIA: it would throw off our deaths to know how we died...

ARADIA: shit, fuck, damn it all...

She stomps her feet on the floor. You're heavily inclined to agree.

JANE: Aradia... I...

ARADIA: it's fine. i get it...

ARADIA: we obviously died twice and-or you couldn't get to us on time...

ARADIA: who else?

MEENAH: ja-

FEFERI: you can't know.

Aradia grimaces, and plants a hand onto her head.

ARADIA: of course we can't.

John RETURNS then with a ZAP, but this time curiously with a NOTICEABLY DIFFERENT COLOR to it. A more BRIGHT RED than the BLUE he'd been using up until now.

He looks excessively pale.

JOHN: urgh... who know giving up retcon powers would be so tiring...

JANE: What?!

JOHN: i'm going to die anyways, so i gave my powers over to one of the kyoryugers.

JOHN: i had her send me back here with the secret weapon.

JOHN: well, not before i went and made sure the flooded earth was in place in the new universe, i mean.

JOHN: i went and did that first.

JOHN: put all the planets in a nice little orbit around a nice new sun

JOHN: AND THEN went and transferred my powers over, got the weapon, and came back here.

JOHN: that order....

JANE: ...

ARADIA: ...

JOHN: right anyways...

And then he pulls out a small battery, and hands it to Jane.

JOHN: behold, the ultimate secret weapon to defeat caliborn once and for all...

JOHN: i guess we don't use it against vriska, huh?

JANE: ...No, we don't.

JOHN: *sighs*

JOHN: okay so there's a trick to this zyudenchi.

JOHN: you have to put souls into it in order to let it work.

JOHN: the original plan was to just have me zap a bunch of people into it, and then we'd come out alive on the other side but...

JOHN: i guess that's not an option any more, is it?

MEENAH: no, it ain't bluefin!!

And then for the first time since you woke up, Meenah has latched herself onto someone else- or rather, two someones, John and Aradia in this case.

**> ==//=>**

After several awkward minutes of silence, Meenah lets go, and returns to your side.

ARADIA: did yomi soul trap our souls into crystals yet?

JANE: I don't know if she did or not, why?

JOHN: because you might as well just use mine and aradia's so our deaths don't go to waste.

JOHN: put them in the charger, have someone activate it, then use it on the caliborn that's inevitably going to be born on the old-world earth.

JANE: After we went to all that trouble to trap the prat, he's still going to exist??

ARADIA: he had many exit plans, as i recall from our strategy sessions.

JOHN: dude was crazy prepared.

JOHN: besides that, i've already put the final steps of that plan into motion too.

JOHN: one last sucker punch from a dead ghost ;)

MEENAH: so where did u put that lil adventure in the timeline?

JOHN: oh, somewhere between planting the planets in the new universe and fetching a super weapon.

JOHN: ....

JOHN: man, it feels weird knowing the clock is ticking down and i'm going to die.

JOHN: but at the same time, it's kind of a relief, you know?

JANE: HOW is it a relief!?

JOHN: you all... got rebooted. i didn't. you may remember bits and pieces, or even all of it, i don't know, but...

JOHN: i've got ten thousand times all of those memories now.

ARADIA: i'm in a similar boat as well...

ARADIA: i spent countless eons in the furthest ring before it finally collapsed into that black hole

ARADIA: i have about the same grand total memories.

ARADIA: it's... overwhelming, just a bit.

JANE: That still doesn't make it fair!

JOHN: sometimes, people live too long.

JOHN: immortality can be SO overrated!

**> ==//=>**

John and Aradia look at each other, and you can see a bond forged from a shared mutual fate between them in that moment.

ARADIA: you know what i could go for right now?

JOHN: no, what?

ARADIA: ice cream

ARADIA: and cheese sticks!

JOHN: oh! i think i know a place we can just... ah...

They go nowhere, an evident fact of John's powers being missing now.

ARADIA: i think i have this part covered, john.

She smiles sweetly, and then- VWORP, both are gone before any of you can say so much as a goodbye.

MEENAH: ...they didn't even stay to say goodbye

JANE: No. *Sigh* They did not.

JANE: ...I guess... I need to go talk with Yomi.

FEFERI: would you mind if i came with you?

MEENAH: me too?

JANE: No, I wouldn't mind at all.

**> ==//=>**

On the DENIZEN TEMPLE on DIRK'S LAND, a DENIZEN and an ASCENDANT talk.

HECATE: It's my fault.

YOMI: Oh? I thought we were firmly settled on it being my fault.

HECATE: I am being completely serious here!

HECATE: If I hadn't hesitated while Bali had them in her tentacles, they might still be alive!

HECATE: They died because I *hesitated*- and that wasted their One True Revival before they NEEDED IT!

YOMI: You had no way of knowing that-

HECATE: It's Still *MY FAULT*!

HECATE: I wasn't even Supposed to BE on that battlefield!

HECATE: I am... WAS a Denizen.

HECATE: I was MEANT to guide, offer advice... Not to FIGHT along side them.

YOMI: You could have turned down my offer to unchain you, you know.

HECATE: The worst part is that I would have KNOWN this outcome could have happened if you hadn't...

HECATE: Now... now I don't have access to Skaia's well of potential.

HECATE: I can't see into other possibilities now.

YOMI: So what? Just because you couldn't see the future means your choice was already set in stone??

YOMI: And what if you still COULD?

YOMI: What if you could see that your actions would have caused their deaths regardless of what you chose?

HECATE: I.... I....

JANE: Yooo-hooo! Anyone home??

MEENAH: (why did we climb up all these stairs again???)

FEFERI: (because i wanted to use my legs since i still have use of them now shoosh!)

YOMI: Now how did they find us??

HECATE: Dirk, no doubt.

**> JANE + FEFERI + MEENAH: Talk to YOMI.**

JANE: Yomi! Hi!

JANE: Good news! We found the Secret Weapon John fetched!

JANE: He, ah... hid it.

YOMI: He did?? Strange of him to do so without telling us but alright...

JANE: Yeah. Left us a note saying that it needs to be powered by souls- he had a plan for using his zappy powers for it but... we don't have that now.

HECATE: *Observes cautiously*

YOMI: ...What do you want me to do, exactly?

JANE: John said that... if he and Aradia died then we could use their souls to power it.

JANE: Explicit permission, pretty much.

YOMI: I see...

YOMI: I suppose that's... reasonable.

YOMI: I don't know if I have the full power to harvest their souls for the weapon right now or not, though.

YOMI: I'm still somewhat ti....

YOMI: Feferi?

FEFERI: Hi! *waves*

YOMI: You... were revived??

FEFERI: Jane fixed me up, yeah. 38( Too bad about everyone else though.

HECATE: *Sighs* I knew it was my fault...

YOMI: Not now, you!!!

YOMI: Anyways. As I was saying... I'm still feeling tired and drained from that massive spell matrix.

YOMI: I suppose if I don't recover my energies fast enough to harvest their souls before they depart, I can always time travel back in time once I have my powers.

YOMI: May I see this weapon?

JANE: Sure.

Yomi takes the battery and looks it over with a spell of some kind.

YOMI: This...

YOMI: Two souls aren't enough for it.

JANE: Really? How many do we need then?

YOMI: Four.

YOMI: The internal reservoirs match this icon on the back, the SBURB Logo.

JANE: I was wondering about that...

JANE: *Sighs*

JANE: It's the House Juju.

JANE: John had the House Juju remade.

MEENAH: So it needs four souls... we've got a surplus!!

MEENAH: All those ones we fished out of vriska, right??

YOMI: No. We can't use them.

YOMI: Besides the fact that I would have to harvest the souls directly into the weapon...

YOMI: It seems specifically bound for four specific elements. Light, Time, Breath, and Space.

JANE: Of course it would...

JANE: *Face palms*

FEFERI: Well, we have three of those.

FEFERI: John and Aradia were Breath and Time, and Jade was space!

JANE: We can't use Jade's soul for this! She can't give us permission!!

MEENAH: What if we did have it though?

MEENAH: Sent someone back in time and asked if we could use her soul in-case she died?

FEFERI: That's horrible!

FEFERI: We know she dies, and to ask that of her is...!

FEFERI: ...

JANE: What is it?

FEFERI: How much would you be willing to bet if we checked Jade and Marrin's pesterlogs with John and Aradia, that they would have already given permission to use their souls for such a weapon?

YOMI: Why Marrin?

FEFERI: It was something Rhozee said earlier.

FEFERI: Marrin thought they were expendable being another verison of Rose.

FEFERI: Light and Void are opposite aspects, aren't they?

MEENAH: i think i see where yer goin' with this, sis.

MEENAH: marrin was voidy because they... i dunno, capsized their aspect or somefin?

FEFERI: ...could fit the Light Aspect Void regardless...

JANE: *groans*

JANE: Because it'd be a VOID of LIGHT. God. DAMN IT, John!!

YOMI: Heh... I'm sure he's laughing at us somewhere as we piece it together.

HECATE: You do realize that if you use their souls in that weapon then there's no way to ever bring them back afterwards, right?

HECATE: Even I can tell that weapon was designed for souls that were alive, not souls that have had their ties to the mortal world severed.

HECATE: Using their souls would burn up so much of who they were, what they were...

HECATE: That would be just as bad as if we were killing them with our own hands.

HECATE: They would BURN, and there would be almost nothing left of who they were.

HECATE: All of their memories, all of their powers, everything that made them THEM would just be GONE. They'd never remember any of this happening.

HECATE: And they would never return again, even when the ashes of their remains reincarnate into new lives. They'd never be as they were. If they reincarnate... they'd be new people with only the barest threads of a connection to who they used to be.

YOMI: Maybe that's a blessing for them, then.

She sighed.

YOMI: Not too long ago, before the battle, Aradia asked me recently if I could erase her memories of her past life. The remembering hurts too much, she said. I couldn't do anything about that while she's alive but...

YOMI: But this would accomplish near the same feat. Erasing memories. Releasing the soul into the universe for reincarnation... Near the same as sacrificing their souls for energy to beat Caliborn.

YOMI: I have no arguments against this plan. It may be the kindest thing for them after the suffering they've lived through.

Nobody has anything else to say to that. You all share looks for a moment, before you, personally, make the hard decision...

FEFERI: I'll speak with their loved ones, get them to agree to it.

FEFERI: I'll be the bad guy in this.

FEFERI: It will be my idea.

FEFERI: That way...

MEENAH: no way in shell am i gonna let you flounder for this, fef!!

FEFERI: It's fine, Meenah. I've already made my decision.

JANE: Feferi...

FEFERI: Yomi, could you teach me how to use the soul trap spell?

FEFERI: I'll do the harvesting myself, if I have to.

YOMI: No, there's no need for that, I'll--

FEFERI: Please. Yomi. You've done so much already for us.

FEFERI: Let me do this for you, now.

YOMI: ...

**> FEFERI: Be the BAD GUY.**

You BE THE BAD GUY to a T.

You take all the credit for "Finding" the weapon and how it works, and strong arm those who are hesitant in participating in this endeavor into agreeing to the plan.

While most everyone agrees that Caliborn needs to be stopped before he can become a problem again, they still don't like your FORCING THE ISSUE by swiping a stray pair of TIME TABLES to grab A FUTURE YOMI so she has the necessary energy to perform the task at hand- putting the souls into the Weapon.

Oh well, at least it keeps their anger focused on you rather than on Yomi. Everyone can tell how uncomfortable she is by all of this, even if she steadfastly refused to teach you the spell to do it yourself.

By the time the FROG BREEDING is done, though, it should all blow over well enough that the others should understand why you did what you had to do.

For now... you'll WAIT....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hecate, now unbound, gets a proper text color in this iteration of the story. I settled with Sollux Yellow for the hue, as it's the closest match to the metal-bronze color Hecate's bones have.  
> \---  
> Feferi gets to do something in this fic! ...She really didn't get much of a chance to shine before. Nobody really submitted reader commands for her after she was introduced.


	50. ACT 6: Be Someone Else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Mourning.  
> Wishing for better in the future.  
> Meeting of the Jack Noirs.

You are now ROXY LALONDE.

ROXY: u know jade,

You say to the body as you sit down next to a NOW ASLEEP ARGO.

ROXY: when i had that voidy dream while we were waiting on jane to tell us when to enter the game,

ROXY: and i pretended 2 be ur fairy god parent...

ROXY: i really though that maybe i could make some wishes come true

ROXY: and i mean, i guess u got to reunite with beccy... sort of...

ROXY: even if it was only with his soul stuk in a gemstone but whatevs

ROXY: but then u didn't even wish for anything else after that and you never said anything to me when we got here but....

ROXY: well

ROXY: i guess i didn't want to come off like a creepy since my wishy magic didn't come tru the way i thought it would.

ROXY: i was just so sure you'd prototype bec!!

ROXY: but then you didn't and--

ROXY: *LE SIGH*

ROXY: some fairy god parent i am

ROXY: more like a fairy FLOP parent am i right???

ROXY: but u've still got a couple o' wishes left soooo...

ROXY: imma wish them for you retroactivmagicly

ROXY: *ahhem*

ROXY: i wish for a happier life in whatever world you wind up in

ROXY: free from...

ROXY: well, i can't exactly wish for you to have a really mundane boring life ALL the time, right?

ROXY: i mean, a girl's gotta have adventure sometimes!!

ROXY: SOOO....

ROXY: i wish for you to have a life free from unnecessary deaths of people you care about.

ROXY: ....

ROXY: end o wish two.

ROXY: idk, that seems like the thing to say.

ROXY: shooo... wish granted?

ROXY: ...

ROXY: okay, wish three tiem!

ROXY: *ahhem*

ROXY: i wish for you to have lots of kids to cuddle and hug and spoil for all their lives!!

ROXY: everyone deserves to be happy, right??

ROXY: End o' Wish Trace!

ROXY: ...

ROXY: So wish numero three LE GRANTED!!

ROXY: can we break the rules and go for a fourth wish???

**> ==//=>**

ROXY: ARRRAARAAUUUGGHHH!!!

ARGO: *snorts awake* huh!? What????

ROXY: WHY IS THIS SO FREAKING HARD???

ARGO: roxy?? what's wrong??

ROXY: i can't think of a freakin' fourth wish to make for jade!!

ARGO: ...

ARGO: maybe i can help with that?

**> JACK: Meet JACK.**

You're now the JACK NOIR of the Troll's Session, having been invited to SOME STRANGE SHINDIG on this session's PROSPIT to sign some kind of PEACE TREATY. Bah, you'll just backstab whoever came up with this idea and--

Holy. Fucking. SHIT.

There's another YOU- but with one arm- and he's WORKING WITH THE WHITE QUEEN of- your sources tell you- ANOTHER PROSPIT!!

What the hell happened to cause THIS???

You march right over to him and ask that. Well, more like yell it. Straight into his face.

It's a LONG STORY, he answers. Mainly involving bad prototyping choices leading to SCRATCHING, a SELF-INDUCED EXILING, and the simple desire to GET HIS PEOPLE OUT OF DODGE while the GETTING WAS GOOD.

You ask him if he knows who came up with the peace treaty and if any of them have unguarded backs.

He says he's the one who proposed the peace treaty, and his back is ALWAYS GUARDED.

What do you mean by that you go to ask when you feel a FAMILIAR SWORD BLADE pressed against your neck.

You glance upwards and backwards and find that the blade is being held by a PARCEL MISTRESS who only has ONE ARM as well. 

Holy SHIT. She looks like she's been through hell and back!! The look in her eyes is VERY CLEARLY one that has seen A LOT OF DEATH.

HEY HEY NOW, the other Jack says, let him go, he's just trying to figure out which Jack is the one that's going to lose their JACK CRED.

Jack Cred? You ask, even as the sword blade is removed from your throat and the one armed Parcel Mistress returns to the one armed Jack Noir's side. (As an aside, you spot YET ANOTHER Prospitian Parcel Mistress hanging out with a DERSITE AUTHORITY REGULATOR in PROSPITIAN CLOTHES and a DERSITE WANDERING VILLAGER. What's up with that wacky friendship? Something to do with the catering table, it seems.)

Yeah, Jack Cred, One Armed Noir says. You know, the thing that makes a Jack a Jack and pretty much the most AWESOMEST JACK NOIR around town, when there are MULTIPLE JACKS to be FOUND.

You say that sounds like a Jack Off to you. (You get slapped by a passing PROSPITIAN for saying that- and she's gone into the wind before you can even so much as draw your knife.)

Well, yeah, the other Jack shrugs nonchalantly, and it is a fine, damned smooth shrug, despite having only one arm to its name. But really, who cares about that sort of punnery, he asks. It only counts when there are three of us and the third Jack ended up killed by his own plans failing. BLOODY DECAPITATION, he's heard. 

You gulp slightly. Decapitation, you say?

Yeah, DE. CAP. IH. TA. TION. He stresses the syllables and mimes slicing a blade across the throat with his good hand. 

Obviously, you say, that means he's lost all Jack Cred, right?

WRONG! Other Jack laughs. He Bloody Took over his entire KINGDOM, and would have gotten away with KIDNAPPING a PROSPITIAN PRINCESS had the WHITE KING'S SCEPTER not been rigged to EXPLODE!

Explode? You ask. 

Yes, EX. PL. OUUUUDE. He says "Ex-ploud" instead of explode, but that's okay. You get the idea. 

That means, Posthumously, that Jack has the most Jack Cred, right?

Of course it does, other Jack nods. And it also means that the Jack whose done the least out of this entire kerfuffle is the one who looses his JACK CRED.

You pale just a little as he leans in closely and asks.

So. 

_**What have you done lately?** _

**> JACK: Lose JACK CRED.**

You're now the ONE ARMED JACK and you gleefully STRIP THE TWO ARMED JACK of his JACK CRED for nature of HAVING DONE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING this ENTIRE SESSION! Why- not even a SINGLE incident of INDECENT MURDER to his name!! How dare he claim to be a JACK NOIR when he's done nothing to aid or even HINDER the way things went in this session?? All he's done was SIT AT HIS DESK and DO PAPERWORK.

WOW. 

Just.

WOW.

Really? Nothing but paperwork slain by your mighty PEN SWORD???

Can you believe this, PM? You ask your ONE ARMED BODYGUARD. Can you BELIEVE the AUDACITY of this guy?

Man. What a Looser. Didn't even LOSE AN ARM in a DRAMATICALLY COOL FASHION or ANYTHING LIKE THAT either... She replies.

You quickly call over a PROSPITIAN AUTHORITY REGULATOR, have him FRISK the Two Armed Jack and relieve him of his WEAPONRY.

That all said and done, you and your ESCORT skip off to go find the WHITE QUEEN and let her know that CERTAIN BUSINESS HAS BEEN TAKEN CARE OF.

The other Jack has no idea what the hell just happened, and you intend to leave it that way.

**> ARGO: Help.**

ARGO: so that's what you wished for already, huh?

ROXY: yup.

ARGO: alright...

ARGO: roxy, i wish that jade will always be friends with john, aradia, and marrin!

ROXY: dang that's a perf wish!!

ROXY: totes granted!!

ARGO: for my next wish...

ARGO: i wish that more often than not, jade and john will be *siblings* and will grow up proper, together!

ARGO: no more of this sburb splitting people up to live in different places!

ROXY: yesssss

ROXY: wish go is a go-go!

ARGO: finally...

ARGO: i wish they'll ALL make lots of friends who will stick by their sides no matter what!

ROXY: best wish of all! LE GRANT!!

ARGO: i think that about covers it, right?

ROXY: i can't really think of anything else...

ARGO: ....

ROXY: ....

ARGO: i'm still going to miss them...

ARGO: but jade especially!

ARGO: she was the only family i had left from the old world :(

ROXY: *hugs*

ARGO: *sniffs*

ARGO: thanks, mom...

ROXY: !!

ROXY: ...yer welcome, kiddo...

**> First, be the One Armed JACK; Second, Talk to the QUEEN.**

First of all: You're still the ONE ARMED JACK- what do you mean BE the One Armed Jack? Come on, get your tenses straight here. And second of all, what did you think you were doing?

The White Queen of the alt-session-and-not-from-this-session (There has GOT to be a quicker way to go through that distinction) approves of your HANDLING of the ALTERNATE JACK NOIR, and hopes he won't cause TOO MUCH TROUBLE.

That done, you go MINGLE WITH THE CROWD.

**> JACK: Meet with the DRACONIAN DIGNITARY**

Ergh... How's about NO? The one from this session is hanging around ALT YOU like a FLY BUZZES AROUND FRESH MEAT. And he's giving you the STINK EYE TO BOOT. 

You make a single-handed gun formation with your left hand and wink at him. You wish you still had a second arm so you could make it a clearly obvious DOUBLE PISTOL AND WINK but alas, oh well, nothing to be done.

It freaks TROLL-SESSION JACK (Heeeyy! There's your designation term for you!) though, and that's good enough for you right now.

**> JACK: Meet With the HEGEMONIC BRUTE**

You pass TROLL-SESSION'S BRUTE and ask him what's hanging.

He says not the BUFFET, that's what.

Why's that, you ask.

Because it's sitting on a table that's sitting on the ground, he says.

You just laugh and pat the guy on the arm. You've MISSED THIS, you tell him. Always with the jokes, this guy!

He looks at you with confusion evident in his eyes.... is he not usually the jokester of his group? Oh well. 

You just sort of... casually side-step away... Jack Noir: exiting stage right!

**> JACK: Meet with... TWO (2) COURTYARD DROLLS.**

MY GOD.

** _THEY'RE REPLICATING._ **

But nah, it's just YOUR SESSION'S DROLL (Hrrm, Dino-Session's? Murder-spree-Session's? Dino Breath?? Ah that works. DB-SESSION.) hanging out with TROLL-SESSION'S DROLL.

Both are conversing eagerly about HATS, and maybe starting a HAT CLUB, which HAHAHA, so funny, sets them off for some stupid reason. 

Their insane cherubic laughter makes you cover one ear and once again wish for a SECOND HAND to cover the other while you make your way over to the... the... 

Theeeeeeeeeee....(Wait for iiiiittttt....)

MARIO-SESSION'S versions of PM, AR, and WV.

(Mario. Because the Princess was in another castle. Get it?.... PFAH! Your humor is lost on this meta narrative!)

**> ==//=>**

The WANDERING VILLAGER gestures excitedly towards the buffet- wait, no, not excitedly, annoyed? Happy? What's the emotion here??

Anyways, he says something about the FOOD being.... OHHH...

It's been farmed from _ALTERNATE HIM'S FARM_. This little guy used to be a farmer? Really? Both-Armed Parcel Mistress nods, confirming that he was, indeed, a farmer.

Before their Skaia blew up in a massive GREEN HELL FIRE EXPLOSION.

You....

You quickly excuse yourself because you think you heard your radio's RING TONE go off and no, radios don't usually HAVE ring tones but you made yours special anddddd.....

Nobody's buying that, are they?

All three of them shake their heads, and your own Bodyguard seems AMUSED by the attempt.

**> JACK: Wonder where the OTHER WV, ARS, and PM are.**

No need to wonder, the "WV" is obviously on one of the Battlefields, there are MANY, MANY Authority Regulators about (Both Prospitian and Dersite alike), and you've seen another PM staring at your one armed bodyguard with FEAR and also AWE.

The only one missing that you've not seen any version of is MS. PAINT.

You wonder what they're up to?

**> MS PAINTS: How is the MURAL coming?**

With THREE versions of yourself helping, you've gotten a HEAD START on the FINAL PIECE of the HISTORY MURAL.

It will be the VAST CROAK- the BIRTH of at least ONE NEW UNIVERSE!!

Given that there are TWO BATTLEFIELDS, one of you assumes that there will be at least TWO, but HOW TO PAINT THEM will have to wait until the FROGS ARE BORN.

No sense trying to PREDICT THE FUTURE and get it wrong, hm??

In the mean time, you'll all go BACK and fill in some of the MISCELLANEOUS DETAILS that got skipped over in each of your FIRST PASSES. Time to REFINE and HONE your paintings to become THE VERY BEST like there EVER WAS!

**> SOMEONE: Evacuate the BATTLEFIELD(S) already!**

There's plenty of time for that, geeze! Frog Breeding isn't even scheduled to commence for another FEW DAYS, and it's expected to take SOME TIME before the GENESIS FROG(S) will be ready for ASCENSION, plus there's the whole GOTTA IGNITE THE FORGE thing to do first, along with only SKAIA KNOWS HOW MANY PERSONAL QUESTS that need to be completed.

Until then- the FARMS will RUN. People gotta EAT, after all.

**> PS + PI + AD + DB SESSION WV: What is life?**

One moment- the earth is in danger of being eaten by a GREEN HUED BLACK HOLE, the next, everything felt kinda SLOWED DOWN, and then...

_POOF!_

Suddenly, everyone's in a Session! A few days later, the PLANET IS MOVED once more, temporarily to a VOID, and then it is STRUNG UP around a NEW SUN along with TEN OTHER PLANETS, two of which are already confirmed to be INHABITED!

Life, you would conclude, is CONFUSING AS ANYTHING, but ENTIRELY WORTH the LONG JOURNEY it takes to get someplace NEW.

**> MARIO SESSION WV: What is life?**

You're now the WANDERING VILLAGER up on PROSPIT. 

Everything is SO SHINY!!!

You've made NEW FRIENDS, and EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!!!

Life... Life is ESCAPING CERTAIN DOOM and just LIVING, and being glad that you've got FRIENDS to share the journey with.

**> TROLL SESSION WV: What is life?**

Farming.

Farming is Life.

Without Farming, there would be no FOOD.

Without Food, there would be no SUSTENANCE.

Without Sustenance, there would be no LIFE.

You're pretty certain TROLL ROBERT WILLIAMS said that. 

**> PM: What is life?**

You rapid fire alternate through three people with this designation:

Life is the simple things after escaping jail.

Life is the feeling of regaining control of a situation.

Life is fearing what paths your future could hold.

**> AR: What is life?**

You're now an Authority Regulator eating from a BUFFET.

Life is having a JOB that won't get you ARRESTED.

**> HB: What is life?**

FOOD.

**> DD: What is life?**

You WISH YOU KNEW.

**> CD(s): What is life?**

**_HATS!!_ **

**> TROLL JACK: What is life?**

You don't got TIME for questions like that.

You're trying to figure out why a version of you would willingly WORK WITH these graveyard stuffers...

**> WHITE QUEEN: What is life?**

Life is mourning death, and also celebrating the lives lead by those slain (sometimes thrice over.)

**> SPRITE: What is life?**

You're now BOXED FORTUNE COOKIE SPRITE....

You have no frigging idea!!!!

**> BRO: What is life?**

The Immortality kind? That cute green haired girl in the Heart Clothes came over and made you an offer to ASCEND about a day ago after all that fighting went down.

You've seen the cloths KID YOUs wearing, you're not sure if you want them or not yet.

**> ROXY'S MOM: What is life?**

Life is sitting pretty in the background and watching things go by. Your daughter's made something interesting of her life, and you wonder where it will end up...

You've turned down the REAPER'S OFFER to ASCEND, however. You think IMMORTALITY is OVERRATED.

**> JANE'S DAD: What is life?**

Being PROUD of what your Daughter seems to be heavily leaning towards the MEDICAL FIELD.

**> YUUI'S MANAGER: What is life?**

Dealing with the unfortunate fact that one of your CLIENTS has FIRED YOU via TEXT MESSAGE. She was just a kid, but now she's SOMETHING MORE... 

Oh well, still plenty more CLIENTS in your CIRCLE.... 

**> JAKE'S GUARDIAN: What is life?**

Giving your GRANDSON HUGS and listening excitedly to his RECENT ADVENTURES.

**> BEATRICE: What is life?**

FISH.

**> TIKI: What is life?**

HUGS and PETTINGS. Meow... what were you expecting? You're a KITTEN.

**> ~~FEMALE BEC~~ RACHEL: What is life?**

Sadness.... and also getting comfort pettings from just about everyone who passes you by. 

She'll live with Yuui after everything's settled and done.

**> ELLIE: What is life?**

Getting PETTED by your CARETAKER, DIRK, while you sit pretty and watch DAVID STRIDER work alongside the space players work on FROG BREEDING.

Apparently, you're going to be a major DNA source! Not that you understand exactly what that means.

**> CASEY: What is life?**

GLUB GLUB,,, you're sad that the WINDY BOY is dead, but he's left you in the care of the TROLL GIRL SEER OF LIGHT. You will be WELL TAKEN CARE OF.

**> KARKAT: Comfort DAVE.**

You and Dave mourn the losses your team has suffered in the only way that they would appreciate from you two...

YOU write a shitty script starring happy-go-lucky camper-versions of them, and DAVE draws the COMIC based around it.

Together, you work through your issues.

**> DAVID: What is life?**

Life is the genetic code of DNA brought together in just the right way to form consciousness... Although you wonder if a GIANT FROG would get bored just sitting alone in a pond...

Maybe it could stand to have some company.

**> CALIBORN SOUL: Regret life decisions.**

This soul is currently trapped within a SOUL GEM and cannot process active thoughts... but if it could process thoughts, they would be THIS:

_**GRAAAAHHH! I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGEEEEE** _

> SQUIDDLE SOUL: Regret life decisions.

Same deal, only with the feeling of being AT EASE.

**> VRISKA SOUL: Regret life decisions.**

DITTO, only: May8e my next life will be better? Maybe I'll have a person who will love me?

And maybe I could not get murdered? Being not murdered would be great.

**> HALF GAMZEE SOUL: Regret life decisions.**

DITTO DITTO.

HONK HONK.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a rollercoaster of checkins. Past me forgot the Girl Bec Pup the first time.


	51. END OF ACT 6: Funeral By Pyre.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Funeral.  
> Cremation by Volcano Lava.

**> REZI: Be alone.**

You finish writing up your TRANSCRIPT of everything that has happened thus far- a chronological record stretching from the beginning of your OLD MULTIVERSE, it's DEATH, and then beyond into the present day.

You've been alone with your THOUGHTS for so long it's hard to tell how long life has gone-- OH HOLY CRAP IS THAT TODAY'S DATE??? 

You are VERY MUCH LATE.

**> EVERYONE: Hold FUNERAL.**

You head off and find the perfectly sensible spot on LOHAC that someone decided to build a FUNERAL PYRE on.

Everyone is here, save Feferi, gathered around four BOUND IN CLOTH WRAP masses that are FOUR BODIES, about to be CREMATED via LAVA.

You give your silent apologies as you step out in between those bodies, preparing to deliver your SPEECH.

"Hi," You begin, weakly. "Sorry this took so long but writing the last act was pretty rough for me... It was rough for all of us, really..."   
  
You shake your head.   
  
"But we're not here for us.. we're here for JOHN, J4D3, M4RR1N, and 4R4D14. Four friends whose lives were cut short before their time... though their souls remain with us briefly, it is time to finally say goodbye to our friends...." 

You pause.

"I'm not one for speeches so I'll keep this short... Goodbye, Aradia, may you dig up many more bones in your future lives. Goodbye, Marrin, I wish we could have known each other better as friends. Goodbye, Jade, let's hope death won't cling so stubbornly to you in what comes to you next. Goodbye, John.... Lets meet again someday, okay? Maybe in your past, or my future.... It doesn't matter which."

  
You give a nod to Yuui, Rhozee, Dave, and Argo- and they pull the levers they were instructed to.

**> ==//=>**

Moments later, the four bodies fall through the trap doors in the floor, and fall into the lava below- igniting, burning, and then sinking beneath the surface in a gurgling rush of flames. 

In a few more months... that will be a set of three miss matched rings inside a volcano caldera. 

**> ==//=>**

And so it was, as the bodies of the four heroes were consumed by lava, did our view become obscured, oh so briefly, by a pair of orange curtains closing. Then, opening again, revealing a pair of green curtains behind them.

**END OF ACT 6.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This WHOLE section of "Act 6" was originally an "Intermission" and thus why it's so short. 
> 
> ...I shuffled the tags around a bit here to make things make a bit more sense.


	52. ACT 7: Game Overture.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Heroes Drop it Like it's Hot While the Pimp's In the Crib.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Musical Sequence.  
> Creating New Universes.  
> Soul Trapping.  
> Soul Burning.

[ **> [S] ACT 7** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPsMeamXcE8)

The Curtains open, revealing Yomi standing over the four bodies of the heroes as they had laid in the meteor, sighing sadly as she generated a spell matrix to pull their souls out of their corpses, and into the Secret Weapon.

Her eyes began to glow, and then FLASHED brightly, engulfing the screen.

[0:27]

_**SIX MONTHS LATER...** _

The Forge on the Land of Frost and Frogs was active- bubbling and bursting even as two glowing GENESIS TADPOLES swam in circles, chasing each others tails. Peering over the volcano's edge is Ellie, staring at the two tadpoles, and barking excitedly at them, wagging her tail in eagerness to see them off.

The Genesis Tadpoles give similar barks and whines back as they circle the center of the lava pool.

[0:40]

Nearby, on a small ledge on the caldera's lip overlooking the center of the lava pool, Rezi, Dirk, and Aranea stand at the ready; each one holding a ring in their hands, ready to toss in.

[0:51]

With a nod, they threw in their respective session rings, and the items begin to melt rapidly- exciting the already excited volcano and causing the magma within to bubble and boil faster. 

Ellie backs away quickly as the rings finally dissolve away, and then-

[1:02]

The Forge erupts- launching the two Genesis Tadpoles upwards and upwards, sending them on an express route to Skaia.

[1:14]

Our view pulls out from watching them, revealing the view of their ascent being through a Skaian' Dream Cloud, nearby, another cloud shows the extraction of the heroes souls. 

The Aspect of Light from Marrin- at the same time as the eyes on the Genesis Tadpoles flash and glow with the same symbols.

The Aspect of Time from Aradia- at the same time as the circle in the center of the Light symbol's sun turns into a Gear.

The Aspect of Breath from John- as the longer spokes of the Light aspect take on a more windy, breathy appearance.

The Aspect of Space from Jade- as the tiny spokes on the Light symbol are replaced with the graceful curves of Space.

[1:25]

And then the Genesis Tadpoles themselves rush past the cloud they were represented in- and our camera chases after them as they whirl in circles, while bursts of energy in the shape of that combined multi-aspect flare off of them whenever it seems like they're about to clash.

[1:37]

Around and around they go as they ascend upwards like tops, and then with one final clash- they fly off in opposite directions.  
  
[1:48]

The camera pulls into split screen as it follows each of the two Tadpoles- now growing into larger, four limbed beings- as they fly into the two tunnels carved into the two different Battlefields.

Down and down they go- deeper and deeper into the cores.... One of the two passes by a chilling fragment of a blue crystaline star, and it is snagged and pulled into the Genesis Frog's body as food and nourishment for what is to come.

They reach the cores- and our view pulls out once more from a Skaian Cloud- pulling back onto a FLOATING FROG PAD beneath Skaia.

[2:12]

Yomi and Feferi re-appear there via time travel along side their fellow players, and clenched tightly in Yomi's right hand is a glowing Zyudench- flickering almost hypnoitically with the colors red, blue, green, and yellow. 

The Weapon is Charged.

All eyes turn upwards towards Skaia and the Battlefields as a CRACK is heard. 

All clouds show what is happening within- the last vision they will ever foretell.

[2:35]

Within a chilling split screen- the Genesis Frogs become less immediately frog like, and instead, more reptilian- elongated, narrow heads- spikes and quills emerging from their backs- their tails becoming longer, thicker, and lose the frills.

Then- they explode with energy as their tiny bodies can no longer contain all that energy in that scale.

The twin Battlefields begin to crack- like eggs- and then through those cracks emerge alternating hues of two specific colors- one green, one red.

The cracks widen- chunks of the battlefields fly away explosively- and then---

[2:57] 

Skaia transforms- becoming a pond for two Indominus Rex styled Genesis Frogs to circle in their pond endlessly- chasing eachothers tails even as their glistening white bodies radiate pure energy.

Their eyes are the only way to tell them apart- one has red eyes, the other has green.

[3:11]

Each lets out a cry of delight as their bodies let off aura flashes of their respective colors.

Our view then drifts in splitscreen into both of their eyes before focusing firstly on the eyes of the Green One, we see the DB-Session Earth, then the two Troll planets, followed by every other planet from Earth's Solar System. 

[3:21]  
The view shifts over- into the eyes of the Red One- and we see the Water Flooded Earth being placed into a solitary orbit around a decaying red giant.

The water evaporates quickly- and soon, a GIANT SNAKE CHERUB appears to lay an EGG- our view focuses in on an ABANDONED METEOR as a certain CHERUB PAIR grow up and PLAY A GAME. 

[3:46]

The LORD OF TIME ENTERS the game solo, and our view follows in fast forwards through his session, before descending down into the CORE of the planet- where CALIBORN approaches his REWARD CHEST for defeating his DENIZEN.

Caliborn opens the chest and... looks intensely confused.

He pulls out a small ENVELOPE from the chest, and slices it open with a single fingernail. Inside the envelope is a LETTER, containing four words and an arrow pointing at the backside.

"y0u l0se."

"G4ME OV3R."

On the arrow's instruction, Caliborn flips the letter over, and it reads:

"turn around, sucker."

[4:20]

Caliborn turns around, and sees the INFURIATING GHOST BOY leaning against the GOD TIER CLOCK, looking INCREDIBLY SMUG as he flicks a latch on the front of the clock and---

[4:24]

Suddenly- a massive hurricane gusts in through the bottom of the REWARD CHEST- forcing Caliborn slowly, inch by inch towards the suddenly appearing portal that forms inside of the CLOCK.

Caliborn tries to wedge his CROWBAR into the floor to hold himself in place- but alas, it is not enough grip to prevent the BREEZE from grabbing him by his cape and tossing him through the PORTAL.

[4:46]

He lands with a roll and a grunt as the wind stops pushing him, and then Caliborn gets up and looks around.

He is surrounded by the PLAYERS- quite a few of whom he DOES NOT RECOGNIZE, although there is one... only one, that he knows instinctively despite her appearance being incredibly different.

His SISTER.

He tries to take a step forwards when he suddenly stops in place.

[4:56]

A glance down confirms it- a BLOODY SHACKLE binds his LEFT LEG onto the FROG PLATFORM.

He hears a COUGH- and he looks across the platform to see KARKAT smiling DEVIOUSLY and waving HAPPILY.

[5:05]

Karkat then steps aside- and reveals RHOZEE, KANAYA, ARGO, and REZI standing in an angled V formation behind DAVE- who holds the RAINBOW WEAPON CHARGER in hand.

Calibron sneers at the Knight- "And just what is that supposed to do? Blind me to death?"

"That's for you to find out." Callie takes a step forward- drawing the UNBREAKABLE SWORD from her sylladex, and pointing it at her once Brother. 

As Caliborn takes his eyes off of the weapon, drawing his Crowbar and aiming to use it like a MOCK SWORD- he laughs. "And you think you have a chance at beating me?? What a laugh! You couldn't beat me if you-"

Callie lunges across the field- and delivers a mighty sweeping cut to Caliborn's CHEST- breaking the TIME GEAR there into two pieces with a ZIG-ZAG CUT.

For a moment- Cherub and Troll lock eyes in silence- and then it happens.

 _ **"BRAVE IN!"**_ Five voices cry out in harmony- and a Weapon CLICKS.

[5:35]

A massive BUBBLE of RAINBOW ENERGY covers the space around the FROG PLATFORM as the Aspects for BREATH, LIGHT, TIME, and SPACE flash around the space in rapid fire sequence.

Callie quickly backs away and tosses the weapon back to DIRK- who catches it with ease and begins his march forwards onto the field.

Argo, Rezi, Rhozee, and Kanaya break off of their formation from Dave, each drawing their weapons and converging as well. Dave meanwhile, slots the WEAPON into the lower slot of his Gaburevolver "toy."

_**_GAUBRINCHO! PURIFY-FLAME CHAIN!!_** _

Caliborn sneers at them all even as the FLASHING LIGHTS taunt him of WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN.

"You think loud toys and flashy lights will save you!?"

"No, but it makes for a nice DISTRACTION!" Dave yells- and then spins the barrel on the revolver.

[6:05]

As the Revolver begins to POWER UP for the FINAL SHOT- the five heroes jump in to deliver their opening barrage of sword strikes, claw swipes, chainsaw slashes, and magic blasts.

[6:20]

As Caliborn tries his best to block every attack coming his way with the crowbar- he is suddenly reminded that there are MORE PLAYERS than just the ones fighting him head on, as MULTIPLE RIFLE BARKS sound off, and he's forced to block those at the expense of taking hits from other weapons.

The shots fired? From Roxy and Hecate and Jake and Eridan.

[6:36]

The LIFE PLAYERS begin using their SIPHONING MAGIC once more to added benefit to those fighting him face on.

Yuui uses a TIME TRAVEL BLOCKING FIELD SPELL to prevent any EXTRANEOUS LOOPS from interfering.

Aranea and Sollux meanwhile use their LIGHT AND DOOM FRAYMOTIEFS to CURSE CALIBORN.

[6:49]

And as this happens- the Gun continues to Charge- the barrel continues to spin faster and faster... Dave hands it over to Callie with a nod, then draws his sword and LEAPS INTO BATTLE.

Callie takes aim at her Brother and WAITS for the gun to finish its charge up sequence.

Caliborn grunts as he is forced to take hit after hit due to so many random variables coming at him from multiple directions.

It's a forced game of attrition- Caliborn realizes a moment too late. Either he lets them KILL HIM, or he survives long enough for that SECRET WEAPON to finish him off first.

And then- "IT'S DONE!" Callie cries out- and the heroes fighting him all scatter as she Pulls the trigger.

[7:19]

A BURST OF ENERGY shaped like the SBURB LOGO shoots out and splits from the pointy top down to the end- opening and closing rapidly like a dinosaur mouth before it chomps down on Caliborn's VERY SOUL AND RIPS IT OUT.

[7:27]

FOUR CHAINS grip each LIMB, and Caliborn's soul-eyes look at the ends of each one. John, Jade, Marrin, and Aradia rest at the end of each chain- pulling them taught and holding him in a forced OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE even as Dirk tosses Dave his sword. Dave activates its BLOOD ENCHANTMENT and brings it down across Caliborn's living body's NECK, slicing downwards at an angle, and cleaving him left shoulder to right hip.

[7:34]

That's when his BODY IGNITES- burning away into ash while leaving behind flames that leap up and begin to DEVOUR HIS SOUL.

Flames that also leap across each chain and begin to burn away at those four souls holding him in place.

"W-WHAT KIND OF PLAN IS THIS!?" He roars- even as he sees Yomi holding up a SOUL GEM that cracks- breaks- and then SHATTERS as the SOUL WITHIN is BURNT AWAY in a faster version of what's happening to him in real time.

That is the last he sees, however, before every memory that made Caliborn "Caliborn" is burnt away- and the tiny, feeble remains of his soul- the purest pieces that could ever remain of any soul put through such a purification- scatter away into the void. 

[7:55]

The chains disperse- and the four souls put through the weapon all smile down on their friends.

It's a final goodbye, with no words said through anyone. 

[8:18]

And then- they're gone, and the tiny remains fly away just as the spherical shield of rainbow energy fades away.

Everyone turns their eyes up to the twin UNIVERSES circling above them, even as two ENTRY DOORS finally fade into existence on the frog platform.

Nobody says a thing, not even as the green curtains close on the screen once more....

**> END OF ACT 7.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This "Act 7" was the original "Act 6."
> 
> ...Nah, IDK what I was thinking there.  
> \---
> 
> Also, yeah. It was a real Gaburevolver the entire time Dave had. It was just set to DEMO MODE. :P


	53. PROLOGUE: Fast Forwards Seven Years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Old Number Diary Messaging.  
> Someone Faints at a Dine-in Sonics.

**> Argo: Pester Jade.**

\- arsenicCataclysm [AC] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] @ 6:18 A.M. -

AC: hey jade

AC: i had the dream again.

AC: you know what that means, right??

AC: ...happy 23rd birthday!!!

\- gardenGnostic [GG] is offline. -

\- [223] Messages will be delivered when they are online again.-

AC: i can't believe it's been seven years already.

AC: life sure is flying by fast, isn't it?

AC: ...

AC: sigh.

AC: why does this never get any easier?

AC: soooo...

AC: i guess it's recap time?

AC: it's been a whole year so... yeah.

AC: recap time.

**> /|**

\- [263] Messages will be delivered when they are online again.-

AC: man that's annoying.

AC: anyways, karkat and dave have adopted yet another orphan and added them to their ever growing family of misfits.

AC: eridan's still in the role of photographer and is video-taping everything for posterity

AC: it could make for a fun show, some years down the line, he keeps saying.

AC: (not doing the vv and ww thing.)

AC: in similar news, jake's gotten the directing rights to tell out our adventures in television format!

AC: not quite sure how i feel about that, given what we know about ascending.

\- [270] Messages will be delivered when they are online again.-

AC: aranea's left to explore the cosmos. that was about half a year ago.

AC: dirk and ellie sit outside the universes as their eternal guard-dinos!

AC: i was visiting last month when we got visitors!

AC: an ascendant girl- kind of like me with the cat ears and the tail.

AC: she's on her way to apprentice with some "Master of ThievingZ" to learn the tricks of the trade

AC: hecate was there with me during that visit too- she seemed to hit it off with this new girl

AC: she smiled, at least?

AC: that's something even yomi's had a hard time getting out of her, lately.

AC: let's see, who else is out there...?

\- gardenGnostic [GG] is online! -

\- [279] Messages Delivered! -

AC: wait what the fuck

**> /|**

GG: ....

GG: oh

GG: Oh My GOSH.

GG: I totally just name sniped someones dead account, didn't I??

AC: um... yeah, i guess so? unless your name is jade, then in that case...

GG: yeah no, sorry

GG: my name's Serena

GG: I can stop using this chat handle- I'm SO SO SORRY!

AC: no, it's...

AC: it's fine.

GG: still! now I feel bad :(

AC: no, it's fine

AC: it was bound to happen eventually.

AC: seven years was a... really, really long time for a chat handle to go unused.

GG: oh... man, now I feel even WORSE!

AC: please, don't.

AC: jade had a few others i can dead-message-journal her on...

AC: i'll just stop messaging to this one.

GG: wait!

AC: :??

GG: if... if it isn't too much to Pry... could you tell me about her?

AC: ...

AC: sure.

AC: first things first, my name is argo!

AC: jade was my cousin.

GG: nice to meet you, Argo.

GG: and wow... now I feel even worse than before because this is your cousin's old account

GG: Losing family is hard...

GG: I lost my dad and our pet cat in a fire, a few years ago, actually.

GG: I'm still not entirely over it.

AC: jade was always more of a dog person... funny that a cat owner would inherit the handle.

GG: that is pretty funny!

AC: i had a pet cat, once... two, actually, although I've since let the survivor live with other family members.

GG: that's nice.

GG: how much of a dog person was she? Like...

GG: OMG I'm a total Dog Lover! I'll baby you all to bits!!

GG: or

GG: I like dogs, they're cool, but I don't/can't own one.

AC: definitely the first one *nods*

**> Feels: Flow.**

Oh and how the feels do flow. You both spend several hours reminiscing about your pasts. Your stories, of course, focus in so much more on the life you lived Pre-Game.

By the time Serena is called away to dinner (and subsequently reveals that she's two hours BEHIND you in terms of time zones), you're both quite certain that talking like this has helped both of you through some tough issues. 

You think....

**> ARGO: Make a friend.**

You think you've made a friend.

It's with that to bring a smile to your face, and a rumble in your tummy that says you're hungry, that you head off to find some restaraunt that's still open at nine in the evening.

**> /|**

Ironically, you find a Sonics. Even more ironically, it's one of those super rare ones that actually have a sit-down diner on the inside. Why is that ironic? Because you walked. You walked almost half a mile at random and the first place you find is a Sonics.

You walked, and boy are your feet tired.

You enter, wait in line (There are at least two other night birds here getting their snack on), and fire off a message to Dave about the irony of it all.

One of the phones belonging to one of the two people in front of you rings at the same time.

You're rather confused about that- but this phone belongs to a girl, and she's answering it to talk with someone (Then asking, "Is this about a hospital payment?" to which she then holds the phone away to look at the screen a moment later as the scammer calling hung up), so it wasn't a text message she received. Just a really, really weird coincidence.

You message Dave about that too.

This time, the other night owl's phone beeps at him. He ignores it. You message Dave again about it, and it happens. Yet. Again.

Then again, and again, and again. The girl on the phone and the person behind the counter shoot the guy an annoyed look. You weren't sending any more messages so it's just another freaky bizarre coincidence.

Finally, the guy looks at his phone to read the incoming texts. He groans in frustration, and puts his phone on silent.

**> /|**

You finally get to the counter and make your order. 

You order way too much food for a girl your size, but the waiter doesn't care about that because he shrugs and says "Hey, it burns through our end-of-day reserve stock." Since you're doing them such a favor, you get a discount. Whoop de whoop.

You find a place to sit down, and settle for one of those absurdly tall bar stools that have no backs on them. Though invisible- your wings, tail, and ears are just that- Invisible. In the last seven years, you've failed to figure out how to suitable manipulate your actual physical appearance. 

Skaia didn't give you *that* particular page of the manual in your sprite knowledge either. What a ripoff.

**> /|**

Idly, as you wait for your food, you alternate between reading Dave's response texts (it alternates between amusement at the coincidences and his own distracted retelling of a live stream of events going on at home. (One of the kids is sick is alternating between feeling boiling hot and freezing cold in a medium range temperature house (Not too cold, not too hot (also, wow, I really need to cut down on these parenthesis, don't I? How many is that so far? Four? ...Yeah, four.)))) and eavesdropping on the night owls as they talk.

AIKO: So what did your mom want?

EUGO: same old, same old.

EUGO: apparently I'm "The best with computer help" around right now,

EUGO: never mind the fact that my sister actually works tech support and I don't.

AIKO: Alice would just tell her to turn it on and turn it off again.

EUGO: which is exactly why she's pestering me about it.

AIKO: ...Fair enough.

EUGO: so who was on the phone?

AIKO: Scammers trying to edge in on my "late h0spital bills."

EUGO: didn't you already pay those off like two years ago?

AIKO: Try telling them that!

Something about the way they talk is familiar, but you can't quite place it just by their voices. You definitely don't see anything familiar as far as facial structure goes. 

The girl has long, violet hair, and the boy has short blonde hair. While "Short and Blonde" may describe many people in your family, the almost glowing blue eyes he has seem like the kind of thing you'd remember. You definitely don't know any girls with long and violet hair, though, especially not any with glowing redish, almost pink eyes.

Romantically, a part of you wonders if this is John and Aradia reborn- together in life, happy and together- maybe that "Alice" girl mentioned is Jade? ...But these two night owls are definitely in their late teens- maybe even almost into their twenties like you are. Only through time shenanigans could those four souls have made it here to be reincarnated specifically into these people. 

Besides that, you've trained under Yomi to learn one specific spell- a passive tracker you hope could find John, Jade, Marrin, and Aradia if they were ever reborn and in front of your- and the idle magical program in the back of your brain isn't firing off warning signs, so it's quite clearly not.... them...

**> /|**

The spell is, _however,_ telling you that the two people in front of you have the potential to Ascend.

_FUCK._

You go to message Dave about this predicament...

TG: and holy shit daniel just barfed

TG: BRB CANT TALK

AC: dave something serious just-

AC: ... fuck

And Dave is now away taking care of a barfing kid. Great. Absolutely great.

You immediately go to your next best go to, and find the open chat-log, though neither of it's participants have talked in it since earlier this morning. (You're a lazy cat who hates closing message boxes even if they waste phone battery.)

AC: RHOZEEEEEEEE

You immediately begin typing up your problem- tapping away at your iPhone's tiny touch-screen keypad as fast as you possibly can. In the interlude, Rhozee manages to get in two responses.

TT: That is a lot of Es.

TT: Is there a problem?

AC: THERE ARE TWO TEENS HERE AT SONICS THAT HAVE SOULS THAT YOMI'S TRACKING SPELL SAYS ARE CAPABLE OF ASCENDING AND AAAAAAAAA

TT: I see, that is quite a predicament.

TT: You're asking me what you should do, yes?

AC: YES!!!!

TT: ...Calculating.

TT: 98.69(1284444(Just 4s, Repeating endlessly into the Void(I'm not sure why it's important that I mention this, (This as well.) but the numbers are better when I do (This, too. Also, even more Recursive Parenthesis just for Added Fun(Wheee!)))))% Chance you should sit still, remain calm, and wait for your excessively large food order arrives. Eat, then wait for me to message you again.

TT: If there's not anything else of import, I now need to go contact Yomi and get her input on this situation.

AC: nope, i think that about covers it

AC: thanks rhozee!

TT: You're very welcome.

Now.... You wait...

Your mind races in a panic regardless. 

**> BRO: Make a decision already.**

The One Known as "Bro" Made his decision the day he saw his first grey hair, choosing God-hood instead of growing old.

He has since renounced that name and has become the Vigilante known as....

The Zorro of the Poofy Pantaloons.

Striders everywhere face palmed when the name first hit news-stands.

**> ARGO: CONSUME.**

Your food arrives, and you eat- thoughts rushing faster and faster as you try to process how the hell two potential Ascendants could just random-as-fuckly go to the same Sonics that you went to.

As you're chowing down, you watch the two closely.

The girl gets another phone call at some point during their meal- and talks to what sounds like a sister of her own as well- while the boy continues to ignore texts from his mother.

Dave has yet to get back to you yet, probably still dealing with a sick kid, and Rhozee....

Rhozee went offline.

She almost never does that these days. Kanaya threw a fit early on when Rhozee went off to explore Jupiter without letting anyone know and forgot to bring a wifi-hotspot with her. You think about pestering Kanaya when you hear the girl at the table suddenly stops in the middle of the sentence.

The boy starts asking if the girl's okay when the phone suddenly drops out of her hand and her eyes roll up into the back of her head mere moments before she falls out of her seat and falls towards the ground.

The Boy was expecting something of the sort after the sudden stop, however, and manages to catch her- crying out her name in fear and dismay, over and over again.

Your heart beats for several moments as you try to process this sudden turn of events. What to do what to do what to do- help or stay seated like a fucking deer caught in the headlights???

You close your eyes and make your decision.

**> /\**

You call for an ambulance.

DSPC: What is your emergency?

ARGO: i don't know exactly this girl at the sonics just-- she collapsed and-- please send someone, quick!!

Out of the corner of your left eye, you see the boy briefly shoot you a grateful smile. Out of the corner of your right eye, you see that some of the kitchen staff have emerged to spectacle at the situation- one of them in manager clothes is also on the phone, rattling off the address of the building. You quickly parrot it right into your own phone call a moment later.

DSPC: I see, we just got another call from the manager. We're dispatching a unit right away.

DSPC: Please stay on the line...

ARGO: thank you!

You go over to the boy and tell him that they're sending someone.

EUGO: thanks- can I have that phone for a moment?

You hand it over without preamble.

EUGO: I'm-- I'm the boyfriend of Aiko Konno, the girl who collapsed.

EUGO: you need to tell the people you're sending that Aiko has an acute case of...

You tune it out as you back away and take a few deep breaths to calm your rapidly increasing heart rate. 

Though they are invisible, you can feel your tail and ears beginning to lash side to side out of control. No sense letting it hit someone at this stage. Your wings, too, are tensing at the situation. If you're not careful you could blow your cover and---

**> /\**

You just gave the guy your phone. Rhozee might contact you and not be able to get through. There's no way she could have seen this coming- right?? Right????

You glance to the floor, where you can see the girl's phone resting on the floor.

You pick it up and look- surprised to see that the call is still active and that the girl on the other end is crying out, demanding to know what was going on.

ARGO: um... hello?

YUUKI: OH GOD OH GOD OH--- WHO IS THIS!?

YUUKI: WHERE'S AIKO!? WHERE'S MY LITTLE SISTER!?

ARGO: i'm just a girl at the diner- your sister just- she collapsed and i called 911 and they're sending a--

YUUKI: EUGO! PLEASE! PUT HIM ON!

ARGO: he's on my phone right now talking with the paramedics that are on the-

YUUKI: PARAMEDICS!??! ohgodohgodohgodohgod...

YUUKI: she's dying she's dying oh god I"M THE OLDER SISTER

YUUKI: I'M SUPPOSED TO GO FIRST!!

You take a deep breath. If Jade were here- she'd want you to calm this girl down, at the very least.

But how to go about it?   
  


**> RHOZEE: Seek Advice**

You are now Rhozee Llonde- and you have spent the last several minutes rocketing across the solar system on your GLOWY GOD TIER FAIRY WINGS towards the FLOATING CHUNK OF CRYSTAL PALACE that is still chained to the EARTH.

Nobody wanted to unchain it after John went to all the trouble of connecting them, after all, let alone Yomi. 

It's been some time since you were last here, but it seems Yomi has done some REDECORATING recently- transforming the once ROUGH-LOOKING chunk of ROCK into something more akin to a STONE SCULPTURE of a GIANT SKULL.

Necromancers and their "Death" Ascetic- you swear to every DEITY TIER BEING that you can think of. (This is a list that mainly consists of you and your friends.)

**> /\**

You enter the palace through the usual BALCONY ENTRANCE- which appears to have now been given a GRAND ENTRY WAY around it shaped like a NASAL CAVATY.

You have to give Yomi credit where it's due- she managed to make one side accurate to human anatomy, and the other half accurate to troll anatomy. You wonder if that's the plan for the rest of the exterior.

You land, and call out:

RHOZEE: Yomi?

RHOZEE: Yomi? Are you home?

YOMI: Oh! Rhozee! Hi! We're just in the garden!

CALLIE: noooo! it got oUt!!

YOMI: SHIT! Where are the hedge trimmers?!

You just love the acoustics. You're not sure if it's magic, or if Yomi is just that good with the stone carving, but this entire place is built so that a voice can easily travel from any one point to the other with ease. 

You make your way to the garden with a running pace. You don't think you need to actually hurry- after all, the numbers indicate that nothing *should* go wrong as long as Argo waits for you to message her- but damn it if you're not excited at the prospects of this situation.

**> /\**

You find the GARDEN- a paradoxically larger-on-the-inside room that Kanaya and Callie helped Yomi set up. Inside are PLANT LIFE SAMPLES from various worlds that Yomi has visited, some of which are VERY EXOTIC and you'd love to examine again since the last time you visited, but this is not the time.

You wander around briefly before locating Yomi and Callie hard at work trimming a rather UNRULY PLANT that appears to have grown out of its assigned area.

CALLIE: yoU said the nepents were LITTLE!

YOMI: They are, compared to their much larger cousins from Ain-

CALLIE: i woUld _**NOT CALL THIS LITTLE!!**_ XU

The "Little Nepent" is about just a head taller than Yomi- who is taller than you and Callie by a few inches, even without her horns. (She's not wearing her horns, you suddenly realize. When did she make that change, you wonder?)

You wish Kanaya were here- she would know how to deal with this unruly plant.

Wait. No. You've got just the spell. You raise your wand and chant:

RHOZEE: _**Rosegadren Chainsawficus Bonsaitrimming!**_

Magical chainsaws appear out of thin air, and cut through the HIGHLY DANGEROUS ARMS waving about- causing the plant to hiss in pain and to withdraw back into its enclosure.

**> /\**

CALLIE: rhozee!

CALLIE: *GLOMPS*

RHOZEE: *Is Jump Hugged*

RHOZEE: Hello, Callie. How are things here in the Garden?

CALLIE: oh, yoU know.

CALLIE: jUst the UsUal transplanting "little nepents" from their old pots into their new ones...

CALLIE: they can be qUite the rascals :U

RHOZEE: So I see.

YOMI: You'll have to teach me that spell, Rhozee. It could have come in handy a lot sooner than this.

RHOZEE: Maybe later. We have a situation.

CALLIE: when don't we?

RHOZEE: Argo observed two people in a Sonics that have the potential to Ascend.

YOMI: Oh My!

CALLIE: oUo

CALLIE: that's amazing!!

RHOZEE: Predictably, she's panicking right about now. I told her not to do anything until I messaged her back, which I should do soon.

RHOZEE: What DO I tell her???

**> ARGO: Be Reassuring**

ARGO: miss! please calm down! i'm sure everything will be fi-

YUUKI: No! It WON'T! You don't understand-

YUUKI: Aiko *beat* this! I'm the one whose still sick!!

YUUKI: she's not suppos- *SOBHIC* -nOT SUPPOSED TO RELAPSE!!!

ARGO: ._.;

  
_That.... did not work._

**> /\**

YOMI: Okay, okay... let's think for a moment...

YOMI: Admittedly my first instinct after so many years of Mato hunting me is to run.

YOMI: But these two obviously aren't going to be aware of that.

YOMI: And this is Argo they'll be meeting- not me.

CALLIE: she probably is one of the best of Us to meet in any sitUation like this.

CALLIE: argo's one of the nicest girls i've ever known! ^U^

CALLIE: she'll do fine!

RHOZEE: That aside- what is the first contact situation going to even be like?

RHOZEE: "Hi, I'm a god, and you two have the power to become gods too?"

RHOZEE: I can't imagine that going over well.

YOMI: No, it wouldn't.

YOMI: I would tell her that the best course of action is discrete observation- don't interfere.

YOMI: They'll Ascend when the time is right for it and---

Suddenly- you all feel a sort of.... pressure wave wash over the room.

YOMI: ...Suddenly, I have the strangest feeling that we don't have as much time for observation as I initially thought.

RHOZEE: I'm going to contact Argo again--

RHOZEE: .... Fuck- it didn't send.

YOMI: What? Why?

RHOZEE: Callie, have you ever seen this error?

CALLIE: "PH4-U53-"-oh! that's the 'phone is in Use' error!

CALLIE: it means she's currently in a phone call with someone!

RHOZEE: Why would she do tha...

Another pressure wave is felt, and you repress a shudder.

RHOZEE: Nevermind, I think I have a suspicion.

YOMI: We need to find Argo right away.

YOMI: If I'm right about the energy levels these shockwaves are implying...

YOMI: This could be a very explosive Ascension!

**> RHOZEE: WARN**

TT: Dave.

TT: Dave?

TT: Dave this is very important.

TT: Dave???

TT: Damn it where are you, Strider??

TG: THIS IS HIS BETTER HALF SPEAKING

TG: AND TAKING A LARGE CHUNK OUT OF HIS CURRENTLY VERY BUSY LIFE TO INFORM YOU THAT OUR KID IS PUKING SICK AND DAVE IS BUSY.

TT: I see, thank you for the heads up, Karkat.

TG: YEAH YOU'RE- OH SHIT

TT: ??

TT: ...Karkat?

TG: CAN'T TALK, DEALING WITH ANOTHER KID SYMPATHY PUKING NOW

TT: ....Sometimes, I wonder why I even ask when all I get is too much information.

**> /_\**

TT: Mister Strider?

TG: yeah?

TT: Your younger alt-self is busy dealing with puking kids and thus cannot deal with a potential time travel situation that has arisen.

TG: you mean those pulse echo things?

TT: Yes, that is to what I am referring to.

TG: sorry cant help you there for two reasons

TT: And what would those be?

TG: well first would be that im dealing with busted keyboards here at jurassic world

TG: they're spewin jibberish for whatever reason.

TT: That does not necessarily preclude your use of time travel to-

TG: second thing is that im pretty sure that what's happening is a fixed point of time-space and is locking down all forms of time travel in the immediate space around it until its done.

TT: ...You already tried time traveling to fix you computer problem, didn't you?

TG: ya think?

**> |_|**

TT: So how the hell are Yomi, Callie, and I supposed to get down there fast enough??

TG: you go the old fashioned way

TT: And that would be...?

TG: take a step out the front door and let gravity do the rest

TT: I see.

TT: Good Luck on your computer issues... ah...

TG: "have you tried turning it off and back on again?"

TG: yes, smart ass. that was five hours of tech support ago.

TG: why do you think im even working on this??

TG: im as last ditch as it gets

TT: I was actually going to ask if you'd tried moving the slider yet?

TG: you cheeky little troll

TT: >;)

**> |*|**

Rhozee and Yomi shared a glance as they reached the exit to the floating castle. It would be easy to leap from here and let gravity- or maybe fate- lead them to the site of the rapidly coming Ascension.

Yomi could tell that this could be bad.

As very few in the Multiverse knew as a fact- such a sudden influx of energy like this was almost always something no single body could contain. It was why the ascension process was usually more gradual, slower, over the lifetime of the given future-Ascendant. Such beings would normally be very unstable unless there was someone close to them who would be willing to take on the excess energy of the Ascension- they themselves Ascending in the process.

However, it just so happened that- in that random Sonics with the rather rare interior diner- the girl lay in the arms of a boy with blue eyes- a boy who was her lover, a boy who cared, a boy who would gladly accept the excess energy when it finally came time to be released unto him....

A Boy who also had the potential to Ascend as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We now enter what was originally the act 7 of this fic... but is instead the Epi... Prologue. Prologue/Epilogue.
> 
> Like I said at one point, I was using this fic for Prototyping another story's background plot. This section of story was meant to be that bridging point... or, atleast, one among many. The transition directly from Determibent to Mystryal...
> 
> Of course, I had other bits of lore that developed after the fact and were not included in the original version of this story...
> 
> More on that when we get there.
> 
> \---
> 
> Yomi adopts Jade's Bright Green Text Color in this version of the story, signifying she's turned her life towards a brighter future, as well as reminding her of the sacrifices made to give her that future. 
> 
> She is the Reaper in Green, after all.


	54. PROLOGUE: |S|TELLAS CAELI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Spoilers for Sword Art Online: Mother's Rosario arc.

**>[[S] AIKO: Ascend](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3S8LNG4aNo)**

Our view pulls away from Rhozee, Yomi, and Callie as they drop down towards the earth as fast as they possibly can- pulling away out into the vast cosmos of the multiverse and traveling through energy strings of red and green coloring.

Through these strings, we pass by several other instances of reality, where a similar scene plays out again and again.

[0:20]

A girl with long, violet hair, and glowing red eyes, lies in the arms of a person wearing blue. Most times they're the same version of another girl- others, they're close friends, or family members. But the color blue... that's consistent. 

So too is that gathering around them are hundreds of people. In most worlds, these people are magicians and warriors, adventurers and enchanters- in a few other, they're opposing armies stopping their fight to observe, or they're a bunch of random strangers on the street stopping to gawk and stare as the violet haired girl dies.

She dies of various causes, be they fatal wounds, or grievous diseases, or simply natural causes- but she dies all the same.

[0:36]

And in yet even more instances of reality beyond that- there are those who watch versions of this same scene happen on their TVs or on their computer screens, or read about it in a book.

And as this one heart wrenching moment happens again and again- the observers wish, pray, and hope that somewhere out there- one version of this girl could survive. Just one version of her could lead a happy life without pain or suffering...

And that hope- that wish- is energy- it flows out into the cosmos and gathers together- hurtling across reality towards the version of this girl whose soul is designed to receive that mystic energy.

[0:52]

It heads towards a completed Skaian Session on the edge of the Paradox Space Multiverse- it flows overhead- visible as rainbow energy to the Prince of Heart standing guard outside and observing it all as heads towards one of two Twin Universes- where pushing ahead into the Green Eyed one, and heading towards a certain planet in a certain solar system.

[1:08]

The energy pulses, confirms itself into a viable stream, and it spirals downwards into the body of a girl who, in this one random happenstance instance of irony, had been given her twin sister's name at birth, instead of the name so many other versions of her held- the name that her Twin Sister now owned in this reality. 

And as that energy rapidly siphoned in, it began to pulse within her chest, replacing her mortal heart beat and supplementing it- for no single mortal heart could possibly keep up with the strains of a body that could contain this much energy.

[1:24]

So close to the Epicenter of it all- Argo never felt the energy shock waves pulsing off of the girl. So close to the center of it all- none inside the Sonics could see the light show in the night sky above them.

An AURORA had formed- rippling across the night sky above a small desert town in Eddie County, New Mexico. 

And as eyes looked up to that aurora, they saw two colors- a ruby red and a icey blue- flickering above them, even as it reached small tendrils down towards the ground.

[1:38]

Inside the building, tendrils of the Aurora began to work their way into the building- circling the boy and the girl. For a moment- the girl's eyes opened, and she smiled up at her partner- her soul bound mate for the rest of eternity.

And she choose.

She asked him a question- not with words, but with the gleam of mischievousness in her eyes. And he smiled down at the girl in his arms- somehow knowing that everything would be alright.

He answered yes.

[1:56]

Then- the Aurora fell down upon the world and engulfed its chosen one and the one who would ascend by her side.

For Argo, whose eyes were shielded by orange shades- the whole world in front of her seemed to warp and be drowned out by pure rainbow energy- condensing down into a single point before exploding outwards with a mighty flash.

[2:12]

Up above- the Aurora condensed down into twin glowing stars- one red, and one blue.

Inside those stars were twin beings- the boy and the girl- their mortal trappings being burnt away by the fires of ascension and being replaced by the clothing that defined their very souls.

The Girl wore long flowing robes of deep purples and brilliant reds- with the occasional piece of metal armor to cover some exposed area.

The Boy wore heavy plate metal of an ice blue color- even with the open faced helmet he wore- it was clear that he was a Knight.

Having punched a hole in the roof with their ascension, from below, Argo and the work staff in that Sonics looked upwards in awe and amazement as the Twin Stars took each others hands, and then pulled the other into a tight hug.

Neither were sure what had just happened, but whatever it was, they had survived it together.

[2:44]

As Rhozee, Yomi, and Callie finally descended from above to view the scene, the world warped subtly- and all became aware as the new Ascendants renamed themselves.

And so it was that The Warrior Princess- MIZAR- and her Ice Rose Knight- ALCOR- had arisen to take the place of the two Ascendants who had been slain in battle not so long ago. Hopefully, with hearts pure and free of rage, they would do better with their powers than their predecessors had. 

But that, as it is said, is another story for another time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've seen forced ascensions gone right, we've seen god tier ascensions... we've seen forced ascensions gone wrong...
> 
> This sequence is all about a Natural Ascension as it happens in the moment. 
> 
> The Death of Yuuki Kono, in Sword Art Online, is an example of Ascension Fodder if ever I've seen one. Hundreds of people gathering to be there with her out of respect and... 
> 
> Yeah. 
> 
> Completing the set of ascensions, we watch a version of Yuuki Ascend... and of course, she does so alongside an alt-self of yet another SAO character who died a heartwrenching death. 
> 
> That's really all there is to say on the matter regarding this.


	55. PROLOGUE: Argo: Join Memo.

**> \\*-*/**

\- arsenicCataclysm [AC_] joined memo ASCENSION X2 COMBO on board (thii2 ii2 priivate "IINVIITE ONLY" for a rea2on, iif you hacked iin, GET LO2T, A22HOLE2!!) RIGHT NOW! in SILENT MODE -

\- I FUCKING CALLED IT WITH THE TWIN STARS THING [TA_] Joined Memo -

AA_: That is the opportune question- oh, is that everyone?

GC_: H3Y! Sollux F1nn4lly m4d3 1t!

TA_: ii gue22 iim the la2t on3 iintwo the pool for once.

AA_: Hello, captor.

TG1: hey sol!

TA_: hey rx, yu, rz,

TG2: so is that everyone?

TG3: hold on lemme do a headcount

TG3: yeah thats everyone except for the usual absentees and argo

TT1: She's observing, so go ahead and count her

TT1: I now call this meeting of Sburb Players to Order.

TT1: I think I can safely say that last night could have been a total disaster.

CG_: YOU MEAN IT WASNT? I CONSIDER LAST NIGHT TO HAVE BEEN PRETTY DISASTER WORTHY.

TG3: i kinda agree on that

TG3: danny made a huge mess out of the bathroom so yeah

TT1: Dave, Karkat, We are all still alive, so no, it wasn't.

TT1: That is the level of "could have been" Disaster we are talking about.

TT1: As some of you are aware- late last night Argo went on a snack run at a Sonics near where she lives.

TT1: While there, she encountered two almost-twenty-something teenagers there who shared a single trait:

TT1: Souls Capable of Ascending.

DM_: We knew it would only be a matter of time before the Machines in place to govern the Infinite flow of Energy would try to fill the gaps.

DM_: I just didn't think we were expecting it to happen so brazenly in our own universe.

TT1: Quite so.

TT1: Although given the sheer amount of re-location that Earth had to go through to get to this point, I'm not surprised that we imported them.

**> \\*-*/**

CG_: SO WHO ARE OUR NEW 'FRIENDS', AND DO WE HAVE TO BUY THEM 'ASCENSION DAY GIFTS'?

TT1: They've renamed themselves Mizar and Alcor- the girl and the boy respectively.

TT1: As for 'gifts', the only thing we have to give them now is time to adjust.

TT1: Yomi, Argo, Callie, and I all explained the situation they're in- what happened to them- and our contact information in case they need to reach us.

DM_: As far as I can tell, their affinities lie more in line with the creative side of things, rather than the destructive.

DM_: We don't have to worry about another Bali appearing suddenly from their powerset.

DM_: Comparatively speaking, they're both somewhat weaker individually than she was.

DM_: Together, it's where we may run into problems with them.

GA_: And What Does That Mean

GA_: Exactly

GA_: ?

UU_: the energy bUrst that caUsed their ascension was a massive flare of energy sent towards mizar specifically.

UU_: alcor merely absorbed half of it as radiation oUtpUt and ascended throUgh it. U_U

UU_: that is to say, they are two halves of the same coin, mUch like gUrren and lagann are

CC_: who were those two again?

UU_: from the world john got his kyoryUger powers from.

CC_: uuhhh....

UU_: yomi mentioned knowing of them back when john did?

CC_: ......

UU_: gUrren is the one who makes the lightning beams oUtside oUr Universe tUrn from green to red?

CC_: noooot... ringing any bells... exactly???

GG_: Oh for goodness sake, Meenah! What has you distracted this time??

CC_: ...they're polishin my giant golden statue collection...

CC_: water we talkin aboat again?

GG_: Oh good grief- just ignore her, everyone. She knows perfectly well who we're talking about and is just too distracted by her own reflection to remember properly!!

CC_: shiiinnyyy....

CG_: SHOULD I BAN HER, OR...?

GG_: Just let her be, I'll make sure she reads the log later.

TG1: have i mentioned lately how ur the best, janey?

GG_: Yes. Many times over, Roxy.

AA_: Shall we get back to our meeting?

TT1: Yes. Thanks, Yuui.

**> \\*-*/**

TT1: There really isn't too much more to say. They're going to try to live their lives normally for the forseeable future- and Argo will be helping them train their powers whenever they feel like training.

TT1: We're mostly leaving this in Argo's capable wings unless something catastrophic happens- mostly since they all live in the same general area.

TT1: Really, the fact that Argo never ran into them before now is simply astounding, in terms of coincidence.

TT?: Should we be worried?

TT1: About what, Dirk?

TT?: About other ascendants popping up?

TT?: Just because we got two *now* that are happy and content with cuddling and snogging each other day after day doesn't mean the next one will.

GT_: Geeze, Dirk. Maybe we should pull you back in from guard duty already.

GT_: That sounded rather bitter!

TT?: I'm Good, Jake. How many times do I have to say that?

TG2: and as your dad i could pull you back in at a moments notice, dirk.

TG2: im a little concerned myself, actually.

TT?: Can we not go into this right now??

TT1: No, I think this is a perfect time for it- just not the right place.

TT1: Mr. Strider, could you make another memo?

TG2: already doing that.

TT1: Anyone who wants to jump into the guard duty rotation discussion, feel free to double time over there ASAP. Otherwise, we're continuing on our discussion on the double ascension here.

TT1: (And someone make sure Aranea and Feferi are brought into that one too, please?)

AT_: sURE THING.

AT_: i'M, UHH,,, oN IT.

TT1: (Thank you, Tavros.)

TT1: As to your question, Dirk, I think you have a valid point.

TT1: It is very possible that... what were the terms again, Yomi?

DM_: Baring In Mind I'm still sorting through the data Hergie provided us, it seems the consensus at the moment is "Demon" For chaotic action alignments, "Denizen" for neutral action alignments, and "Demigods" for more pure good action alignments.

TA_: (what the fuck why are we iintroducing new term2 now for??)

DM_: (If you'll remember, I was on the run up until seven years ago, and we still hadn't meet a more modern member of the Ascendant Community until our catgirl friend visited a short while ago.)

TA_: (did II miiss that memo or 2omethiing??)

GA_: (I Do Believe You Roxy And Terezi Were Out Hacking Some Magic Spell During The Time)

GC_: (oooh, y34h, 1 th1nk k4n4y4's r1ght.)

TG1: (yeeeah, i remember that now. we totally missed that memo, sollux!)

TG1: (remember, with the kitten magnet field?)

TA_: (oooohhhhhhh.... yeah... THAT one.... riight...)

TT1: *AHHEM*

**> \\*-*/**

TT1: Are we done?

TT1: Good.

TT1: To answer your question, Dirk, it's entirely likely a "Demon" could surface here, yes.

TT1: However, Yomi has come up with a solution to any Ascensions that sneak past our attention.

DM_: I'm still working on the kinks of the spellwork with Hecate, but we should be able to take the idle passive scanning spell Argo used to discover Alcor and Mizar, and tweak it so that it will let us know if anyone's souls are on the threshold of Ascending.

DM_: If they start causing havok, we should be able to expel them from this Universe easily enough.

TT?: Hrm. Where to, though?

DM_: If they're just acting childishly, a time out in the Red Universe should do for the most part... If they're doing more than that...

TT1: We'll come to that when the time comes.

TT1: (Speaking of, we still need to come up with plans to colonize the Red Universe. I'll open another memo on that later.)

TT1: But other than that, I think we've covered just about everything we needed to cover.

GT_: I think that about covers it, yeah.

\- [AC_] exited silent mode -

AC_: wait

AC_: one last thing

TG3: woah where the heck have you been

AC_: invisible mode

TT1: Told you she was observing.

TG3: oh okay

**> \\*-*/**

AC_: guys. i just wanted to say something before we close this memo

AC_: it's not got anything to do with what we've been talking about but

AC_: after all of this happened last night, it got me thinking.

AC_: it was jades birthday yesterday, and mine is coming up again soon...

GC_: We haven't done anything for your birthday since before Sburb.

AC_: exactly. and I know that's mostly my fault for telling you all that i didnt want to do one but...

AC_: i think its time i stopped kicking myself in the butt and got over it.

AC_: it's what jade would have wanted, so...

AC_: birthday party at my place this weekend?

TG3: hell fucking yes

AA_: A party.... sounds like it could be fun.

TG1: are the new kids coming along too?

TG1: wait! no! don't tell me!

TG1: i wanna be surprised :3

GG_: I'll see if we can get a clearing in Meenah's schedule, if so, count us in on being there :)

CG_: WHILE DAVE MAY BE GOING, MY APPEARANCE DEPENDS ENTIRELY ON IF DANIEL DIDN'T GET THE OTHER KIDS SICK OR NOT.

CG_: AND IF HE DIDN'T... WELL, EXPECT US EITHER TO BRING THE WHOLE LOT WITH US, OR TO HAVE ERIDAN BABYSITTING.

AC_: i completely understand, karkitty :33

GC_: 1 W1LL BR1NG TH3 B1GG3ST C4K3 1 C4N G3T MY H4NDS ON!

**> ARGO: Wrap it Up.**

Your name is ARGO LALONDE.

As you sit back in your COMFY CHAIR in front of your OLD BIRTHDAYGIFT LAPTOP, you smile to yourself as your memo about the ascensions shifts gears into a rapid fire party planning session.

Seven Years Ago- your cousin Jade died. You've been hell bent and DETERMIBOUND towards not having a party at all. It seemed like a silly thing, but the idea of having the party without your cousin always made you feel melancholy and sad... 

After last night, after talking for so long with Serena and getting all of it off your chest.... and then, later, seeing how much comfort those two newborn Ascendants had just by being in each others arms... You came to the realization that Jade wouldn't want you to stay stuck in this funk year after year again and again....

You've decided it's time to break that cycle. 

And so in another couple of days, it will once again be APRIL FIFTEENTH. It will be your TWENTY-THIRD BIRTHDAY. And unlike the SIX before it, you're going to do something different. Something you haven't thought would happen ever again ever since your immediate family died. 

You're going to have fun. 

You kneel down and pick up TIKKI off the floor, and give the earless cat a scritch across the top of her fur covered skull. She purrs in appreciation, and you can't help but smile. You close your eyes, lean back, and as you feel Tikki purr against your chest, you feel the curtains closing on this old part of your life, and open anew on this fresh chapter that you're going to make for yourself.

You're done with hiding from your problems. 

It's time to sneak up behind your problems, and stab them in the back (and maybe twist a few problem's necks to boot) until your problems are but a DISTANT MEMORY.

You are the ASSASSIN OF DETERMINATION, after all. And what DETERMINATION BENT cat isn't good at ASSASSINATING their problems in extremely clever ways?

"The ending of one journey, is merely the beginning of another." - Atrus, MYST.

"The Ending has Not Yet Been Written." - Mata Nui, BIONICLE.

...You're pretty sure those are the right quotes, anyhow.

**> END OF DETERMIBENT.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it. That's the end of the pre-written Determibent Story that I've had to format and reupload to here... That's... The ending. That's it.
> 
> It's optimistic, it's bright, it's cheery... It's everything I thought this setting deserved as a sendoff before moving onto an original project that...
> 
> Necessitated the following chapter that's about to be posted. The last chapter of this story. More on that there.
> 
> These kids, now in their 20's as of this seven years later epilogue of sorts, have earned a happy ending after all the troubles canon homestuck, and then myself, put them through to get here.
> 
> They get a solid hundred years out of this victory before the Tailor comes and mucks things up for them.


	56. THE LAST EXILE.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mogami begins her Ascension into The Tailor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW:  
> Time/Space Fuckery.  
> Intentional Massacring of Masses Through Multiple Resets Of Time And Reality.  
> Broken Arms.  
> Offscreen Character Deaths.

The DB_timeline Earth hovered silently, a hundred or so years in the future after its transplantation here from another dimension, relative to the local spacetime of this particular universe cluster. 

Naturally, time between Multiverses within the Multiverse does not always flow particularly lineraly between them. After all, as Paradox Space itself exemplified, when on stands outside of a Specific Universe, all the points of a timeline within it are easily available to puruse as points of data on a line.

Time Travel, thus... is very often possible to happen by sheer accident.

A hundred and seven years after John Egbert had died, but only two years since he'd said his goodbyes and given over his full Zappy Powers to Kuuko Hinomoto...

Time converged, and distantly related stories crossed over yet again.

**_WHAM! BAM! PCHWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMM!!!_ **

A hole in space time blasted open above the Earth- and a massive alien beast of crimson thread rocketed through the atmosphere like a missile.

It spun, spiraling like a drill, before plowing firmly into the ground in the middle of a city and disappearing beneath the crust. 

Alarms sounded- and several glowing dots approached rapidly from all directions. The first two on the scene, however...

"What the fuck was that?" Dave Strider, Knight Of Time, asked as he gazed at the massive hole in the ground.

"Some Messy neighbor," Dirk Strider, Prince Of Heart, scowled as he glanced upwards at the rift in the heavens. "One who tore our front door right down."

The rift was slowly closing but--

They heard a roar of energy- and a flying Plesiosaur Mecha-ship rocketed through the rift.

"...Oh, good, it's another Ibris situation," Dave griped as the mecha-ship came to a hover nearby.

Dirk's phone rang, and he decaptchaloged it to open it. "Huh. Video Call."

He answered, and helmeted figure appeared on screen. The Helmet was oddly familiar but Dirk couldn't place it.

 _"Hi, sorry to ask, but are you the local defenders of this world?"_ the girl wearing said helmet asked..

"I suppose you could say that," Dirk said. "You can call me Restrid for now. And you?"

 _"Yui Kirigaya, Kyoryu Violet,"_ the girl answered.

"Kyoryu...?" Dave suddenly was peering over Dirk's shoulder at the phone. "Did you just say Kyoryu Violet? As in Kyoryugers? As in friends with John Egbert Kyoryugers??"

Yui seemed startled by that statement, then nodded _. "Yes, we were his teammates up until he resigned a couple years ago."_

Dave laughed, a bitter, tired laugh, and Dirk sighed when Yui seemed perturbed by it.

 _"Are..."_ she began to ask. _"Are you his former teammates and friends?"_

"I'm sorry to report, but you're about a hundred and eight years too late," Dirk answered. "John's dead."

Yui took that information in stride, and nodded. "We know. He didn't say so much but we figured that was the only reason he'd give over his powers when he did. I guess we've crossed the timeline a bit late."

Reality suddenly pulsed around them- a building exploded as crimson threads grew out of it like a massive spire.

"...We can chitchat about our old friend later," Dave interjected, looking very unnerved. "What's the situation we're dealing with here?"

"That giant drill that struck the city down there?" Yui pointed down. "That's Tailor Mogami's last ditch plan, as best as we can figure. We've been hunting her for Five Years and that's..." She swallowed. "That's her doomsday weapon. We have to destroy her before she can set it off and--"

There was screaming- more mechas were falling through the rift now-, descending uncontrollably-- and reality buckled as the ground where the drill had impacted began cracking apart, red light gleaming out of the fissures and impact crater in the ground.

Reality rippled around them as a planet's very life energy was being siphoned away to fueld something nefarious.

In the corner of Dirk and Dave's shades- a spell bound alarm system flared up a warning:

"IMMINENT DEMONIC ASCENSION!"

Dirk knew what had to be done, or his Ascended name wasn't RESTRID. 

"Tailor Mogami has to die before she kills us all, got it," Dirk said simply. "Let's patch you guys into the Network so we can get everyone up to speed."

\---

What followed was a hours long struggle that felt like it stretched on for days.

Reality warped inwards, resetting time constantly as the two time bound players- Yuui and Dave- worked to keep people alive... only to fail as the Tailor unleashed tendrils of energy across the planet- smashing lives- spearing souls...

Consuming the utter mass of everything and everyone that her Life Fiber Monster could get its tendrils on.

Repeatedly.

Every time someone died, time reset, and she did it again- continuing to absorb again and again the souls of everyone she'd slain and eaten.

Ascendants from outside the planet's orbit came in, drawn by her show of power... some seeking to capitalize on it for their own gain, other seeking to stop it...

"A bloody mess, if ever I've seen one." The One called HERGIE muttered, watching as Skybattle Kyoryu Gold was smacked out of the sky and sent hurtling towards the ground.

Hecate took to the beast from behind- roaring, rampaging, tearing away- even as Hergie ran through the alleys, seeking the fallen ranger.

Reality warped around them- Hecate was intercepted by a wall of fibers and ruined buildings and sent flying off into the horizon.

Above the giant tower, gleaming dots of light of the Ascendant Guardians of this world swarmed, firing off attacks, distant and ranged, hoping to deal damage.

They, too, were taking casualties.

Reality rumbled as Hergie found Kyoryu Gold lying, helmetless, battered, and clutching her left arm as an animated black sailor uniform stood guard.

"Who goes there!" He demanded. 

"Woah, easy there!" Hergie held her arms up. "I'm just the local ascended Local sneak thief."

"Can you help?" The uniform asked. "Fam's arm is...!"

"I'll do my best," Hergie ran in to observe the damage. The Uniform moved to give her some room and to stand guard.

"Hey," the gold ranger offered with a weak, pain filled smile. Her green eyes were framed with sweaty and blood slicked hair that was clinging to her face. "I'm Fam."

"Hergie," she introduced herself, kneeling down to get a good look. She winced. "This is a bad break."

"Landed on it wrong when we got blown out of the sky," Fam answered. "Atleast my Morpher didn't take damage, but-" She hissed out a yelp as Hergie touched it.

"Oh fuck," Hergie swore. "Your arm is...!"

"Broken up into a billion tiny shards or something?" Fam asked, choking out a pained laugh.

"I'll start working on that," Hergie's eyes and hands began to glow orange as she started to heal Fam's arm.

Reality warped and thunder clashed in the heavens as the Voltasaur Megazords did battle with a giant towering monster made of crimson threads that burst forth from the very ground itself- again and again and again- the fight reset again and again and each time...  
  
Each time everything got a little bit worse. 

"Shit- this break is not clean at all," Hergie muttered.

"Tell us something we don't know," the animated school uniformm called Senketsu, said, continuing to stand guard nearby. "I felt the damned thing break!"

"Senketsu-" Fam started.

"What good are powers like ours if they don't keep us safe during times like this!" the Kamui snarled- more upset with himself than anything else. "Our Skybattle form got blasted out of the sky like nothing at all!"

"Tailor knew we were coming that time," Fam said, eyeing her friend and trying to assuage his guilt. "There wasn't anything we could-- _**NHAAAGH!!!"**_

"Sorry!" Hergie apologized. "I'm not a Maid of Life here! That's Jane and--" And Hergie didn't know if Jane was still alive or not. Where was she? Where were Meenah and Feferi? Were they okay? Were they dead? Were they--??

There was a roar- the world rumbled- and someone shouted out-- _**"DIRK! FUCK!"**_ \--and then the sounds of Exploding Kyoryuzin's energy attacks firing off in rapid fire sequence to even higher levels than before.

"Damn it," Fam growled. "I gotta get back out there..."

"Even if I get your arm put back together there's no telling if this fix will hold," Hergie advised her. "Grrh. This timeline is fluxing around too much, I can't get a grip on where anything's going. How can I steal victory from the jaws of defeat when there's nothing obvious to steal?"

Stealing was her thing, really. Hergie was stealing the breaks in Fam's arm with the magic she was using.

"She's doing it, isn't she?" Fam asked. "The Tailor."

Grimly, the cat-girl Ascendant nodded. "She's Ascending, and she's taking her sweet time deciding what she wants to be with it. Of all the people for this kid to _Instance Off Of,_ it had to be Worm's Memetic Queen of Escalation. Why did it have to be her for?"   
  
And holy FUCK the realization that Tailor Mogami was an instance of Taylor Hebert had been sickening to Hergie on so many levels- if not the least because Hergie had met a version of the girl during her training of thief powers what seemed like a hundred lifetimes ago.  
  
"How does that usually end for her?" Fam asked.  
  
"Bullets in the Brainpan," Hergie answered, focusing on the arm. A shard of bone twisted back into place, the fracture reversing. Fam grimaced at the pain. "But she's made herself immune to that already. Life Fibers prevent that. Fuck... how do we stop this?"  
  
"If we can survive this and loop back in time, maybe we could double down the firepower?" Fam offered. "Or... find a parallel reality to this one where it's not so dire?"  
  
"And risk the alternate Tailors teaming up?" Hergie asked, frowning.  
  
The world shook- and another instance of the timeline briefly quantum superimposed as events went bad, and someone abused time travel to undo it.   
  
There was a roar- the world rumbled- and someone different shouted out-- ** _"DAVE! FUCK!"_ **\--and then the sounds of Exploding Kyoryuzin's energy attacks firing off in rapid fire sequence to even higher levels than before.  
  
The world shook and trembled again- echoes of other timelines bleeding into this one- a flicker of a reality superimposed itself onto this one, and the spectral image of some other unknown Ascendant was briefly superimposed next to Hergie, holding a stone shaped like half of a Yin-Yang symbol to perform the same healing feat they were here.  
  
"What the-?" Hergie blinked as that reality slipped by, that potential... But... "No, get back here!!"  
  
She grasped at that string of reality, and tugged it back while reality was still trembling from the timeline overwriting itself.  
  
The orange hued stone manifested in Hergie's hands, continuing the same spell as it pulsed magic into Fam's arm to reverse the damage in the bones.  
  
"What the hell is that?" Senketsu asked.  
  
"I have no idea," Hergie said, staring at the stone, awestruck for a moment. "But I think you had the right idea, Fam."  
  
"I did?" She asked.  
  
"Some other possible timeline had a solution and I snatched it for ours," The thief paused. "I think. Let me see..."  
  
She made sure the bone fragments were all in alignment before pulling back the power of the stone.  
  
The orange stone glistened in the light as echoes of an alternate reality's conversation whispered through the air.  
  
Several variations of _"--can't you just use the stones--?"_  
  
 ** _"I'm not using Energia on you! It'd kill you!"_ **someone's voice responded sharply in one of them. Another, different voice, spoke another, _"I already used Energia on her and she's pulled a-"_ A flare of static as reality trembled around them again obscured the name spoken - _"and repairing the damage faster than it happens!"_  
  
There was a single echo of "Use it anyways" and Fam grimaced at a shriek of pain from her alternate self- but that was squashed flat by other echoes of reality. "Then don't use it on me!!"   
  
"Alternates..." Hergie muttered in reality as things stabilized for the moment- the orange stone flickered in their hand with static flaring around its very essence- her powers weren't going to hold it here for much longer.  
  
A Time Storm was converging on their location as The Tailor used her father's Quartz Towers to doom a reality.  
  
"That was... weird," Fam breathed out.  
  
"Did anyone else feel like they were in two places at once?" Senketsu asked.  
  
"Yeah," Hergie answered, "but also no. Really more than like three places just now, actually." They all stared at the orange stone, and Hergie frowned. "This moment is constantly in flux, but it has to have a fixed point of an ending, doesn't it?"

"You're the pseudo-god here, not me," Fam said.

Hergie looked Fam in the eyes, green to green, and gasped- "That's it."

"What?" Fam asked.

"You're not Ascended or anywhere close to doing that," Hergie said, suddenly getting to her feet. "But what if there's a version of you somewhere in this multiverse who is? Or, at the very least- a version of you who has the potential to fix this mess!"

There was a roar- the world rumbled as time flickered around them- and someone different shouted out-- **_"DAVE! WHAT THE FUCK! I THOUGHT WE WERE COOLING IT WITH THE DOOMED SELVES!?"_ **\--and then the sounds of Exploding Kyoryuzin's energy attacks firing off in rapid fire sequence to even higher levels than before. There was a follow up of- ** _"DON'T ASK ME! ASK THE OTHER ME WHO JUST TOOK THAT FUCKING SPEAR FOR DIRK!"_**

Echoes of another conversation whispered past.

 _"---Damn it, she knows all of your moves! All of mine!---"_ A warp of static as another Ascendant visiting from the outside narrative was slain- absorbed- and---

**_WARPPP._ **

Reset to do it all over again.  
  
 _"---She knows every move we're going to make before we make them!---"_ another, strange voice roared in Hergie's ears.   
  
_"---What if we did something unexpected then?---"_ Fam's voice echoed.  
  
"Whatever we're going to do," Senketsu said, "we have to do it now."  
  
Fam clutched her broken arm to her chest, and nodded. "Give us our best shot, Thief-chan."  
  
Hergie rolled her eyes, "Fine. Let's just hope this isn't a worse mistake than what we've already had happen today." She held out the stone- not noticing that during the latest shift, the orange stone had seemingly swapped colors for a white one with yellow, red, and blue stripes. "Alright, Magic Stone, bring me an alternate version of Fam who can help us end this!"  
  
The stone pulsed- and then reality quaked around them.  
  
 _ **"WHAT?!" The Tailor's voice shouted through the air. "WHAT IS THIS--!? WHO DARES---!?"**_  
  
A Golden bloom of light tore open in the air before Fam, Senketsu, and the Traveler, and it stabilized for a moment- revealing... an island of some kind.  
  
There were massive stone structures- all kinds of carvings of giant blocks of squared off stone...  
  
And standing proud amongst them all was a golden stone that towered above them all.  
  
"...What the hell?" Fam asked as said giant stone suddenly shrunk down in size, and rocketed for the portal, slipping through it before it closed behind and another ripple of reality surged across the local space-time.  
  
The stone hovered in the air for a long moment, looking at the strange stone in the Thief's hands as it turned black, and then flickered out of existence with a puff of static.  
  
Then, it turned towards Fam, taking in her appearance.  
  
And then, it spoke with Fam's voice. "Well, shit."  
  
Fam laughed- "You could say that again."  
  
"Double Shit!" The stone swore, then swooped into the air above the buildings. "OH for the Love of- WHAT IS THAT!?" Then, the stone returned, hovering before Hergie. "Okay- whatever the hell's going on, TL;DR it for me!"  
  
"Tailor Mogami up there is Ascending to Godhood," Hergie answered. "And it's REALLY fucking up the local time space. She's already out matching the local Ascendants and Denizens and God Tiers PLUS being able to match blows against the people who have been hunting her for years--"  
  
 ** _"ZYUDEN BRAVE FINISH!!"_** a roar shouted out- but the fight wasn't over yet. Reality trembled- trying to warp-- but something was holding it tight this time.  
  
"Okay okay, and you need something to help tip the tides and unbalance the scale, got it," The Golden stone nodded in the air, then shimmered with light- rippling across her surface as the solid gold stone shifted shape. "I think I've got just what you need."  
  
She rocketed upwards into the air- growing with size back to that original, massive scale- completing whatever transformation was going on in the process.  
  
"OIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" The stone shouted- voice echoing loud through the air, and everything went still in the moments after.  
  
"WHO ARE YOU!?" The Tailor shouted from atop the mass of Life Fibers.  
  
The giant gold stone started to laugh- Fam's giggly, bubbly, "I can't believe you asked that" laugh.   
  
Fam blinked as Senketsu chuckled, "Well, we know it's really you, alright."  
  
 _ **"That laugh...!" The Tailor's snarl echoed across reality like a harp string being snapped. "YOU! I ALREADY DEFEATED YOU AND YOU PULL OUT THIS!?"**_  
  
 ** _"MASHIIIIN!"_** The giant stone suddenly transformed with a gleaming burst of golden light.  
  
And then an unfamiliar voice echoed into the air- _**_"MASHIN FANDORA!"_** _\- and when the light cleared- a massive golden jet-bird hybrid rocketed forwards, igniting with golden flames of burning light.  
  
"A Skyfish...!" Fam gasped at her altertnate self rocketing forwards towards battle.  
  
 _ **"NOOOOOO!"** _The Tailor's Mass of Life Fibers roared- charging down the ground and leaving the Kyoryugers' Voltasaurs and the guardians of this world behind as it ran to meet its new opponent- throwing a spiralling spear of life fibers forwards like a lance--  
  
 _ **_"MASHIN HENKEI!"_**_ the second voice suddenly called out, and Mashin Fandora transformed on the spot.   
  
**"EXILED GUARDIAN!!"** The alternate Fam was suddenly in a humanoid form, bringing two axes down upon the mass of Life Fibers- slicing through the red strings with ease.  
  
The Tailor shrieked- the Earth quaked- and then the battle truly began in earnest.  
  
Kuuko zapped in from three different times at the same time, simultaneously grabbing Hergie, Fam, and Senketsu, yanking them away to safety ar the same time the Voltasaurs were retrieved- zapped away- and so too were the world's defending diety guardians. _**Zap Zap Zap**_ \- as the fight went on between the two pseudo god-like beings- the evacuation of the area was quickly completed by abusing time travel because the outcome of events had been solidified to a climatic conclusion and the Local Reality was pulling itself back together despite the Tailor's attempts to tear it apart.  
  
Slashes- kicks- punches- roars- and then the winged mecha took to the skies- combining the axes into a singular weapon-- and the walking deity ignitied like it was a sun.  
  
 _ **"EXIIIIIILEEEEED PROMINANCE!"**_  
  
Then- she descended down like a meteor, the halbred came down at speed---  
  
 _ **"NOOOOOO!"**_ The tailor struck back, launching one last final strike---!  
  
Reality warped in that moment---   
  
Both attacks struck true in the last moment-- a spear of fibers piercing through the Kiramei Stone Mecha's head... the Halbred utterly reaching the ground at the base of the Primoridal Life Fiber tower...  
  
Electricity zapped around in all directions from both attacks, fire from the halbred attack tore through the tear in the ground the Tailor's Life Fibers had left in their wake...  
  
And then.  
  
The Tailor's life fiber body Exploded with a shriek of pain and utterly consuming flames.  
  
The camera pulls back to high orbit, showing a cracked, and rent asunder earth flickering golden light through the cracks, and then---  
  
 _ **PWROOOOMMMM!!!!**_  
  
The whole thing shattered as an Ascention Attempt Failed, large fragments breaking loose and jettisoning away from the rest of the planet as all of that stolen life energy was vented out into the physical reality around it.  
  
And when the utter destruction of the Tailor's soul had been completed... and the light faded...  
  
All that was left was a shattered planet with survivors who needed to relocate, and quickly, to other worlds.

Of the golden stone, nothing was seen either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter. The last chapter. Was half written originally for Stargate Alternia Act 8 Act 4, and half written originally for this posting of Determibent. But it was all written Originally, never the less, during the last few days.
> 
> Tailor's assault on this Earth was always meant to be off screen for the most part- and far too brutal to be shown directly on screen, even for my past self's tastes. Even now it's... Brutal. Very brutal. And that's with it off screen for the vast majority of time. 
> 
> We meet the last Ascendant here, Hergie. Hecate's matching mate in Mystryal. Two sides of a coin, those two. She doesn't get much screen time, but for such a prominent character in that arc, she needed atleast a proper introduction and not a passing reference in dialogue. 
> 
> And what better introduction than mending Fam's arm after she gets swatted out of the sky by the Tailor?
> 
> Past me had never decided on any particular take of how the Tailor had died except that the act shattered the planet. Just that it happened. Off screen. Just another mistake allowed to fire off to doom.
> 
> ...Present Me refused to accept that. In alternate drafts of this attempt, I tried many different ways of solving this. In one, I even self-inserted to pull off much the same role as what we see here with Hergie. Those alternate drafts echo around with quotes in this chapter due to the nature of what the Tailor is doing as she Ascends. Ideas that were prevented from manifesting as reality...
> 
> But in the end this mess was unstable enough that I couldn't figure out a way to pull anything off safely or convincingly. Tailor... I'll admit I was honestly at a loss as to how to bring her to an end.
> 
> And so I relied on allowing Hergie to swipe a Kanaema Stone. Outside Context Solution to the problem.
> 
> I'll be honest, the only reason I came to the solution of a Kiramei Stone Ascendant alternate of Fam is because of what plot is going on in Act 8 Act 4. This... ties together. Really. Ties together.
> 
> I won't say more due to spoilers, however. We haven't even finished Act8Act3 yet at the time I'm writing this.
> 
> ...So is that it? Is that the end of everything to do with the Kyoryugers and the XWAU02 part of the timeline?
> 
> No. It's not. 
> 
> Act8Act4 will be posted to the XWAU02 series AS WELL as the Stargate Alternia series AND the whole Multiverse series. It's bringing things together and... well... I can't resist a good crossover.
> 
> Does that mean one has to read ALL of Stargate Alternia to know what's going on from the XWAU02 side of things, or vice-versa? No. It shouldn't. And I won't be forcing anyone to read through it all, at any rate. 
> 
> Good grief we're over 3million words on the Carnation Rein series and... HOO. That's a LOT OF WORDS. How did I write so many words? 
> 
> I have no idea.  
> \---  
> Once again, I apologize for waiting so long to post this Determibent arc to AO3. It really should have been done ages sooner.
> 
> But better late than never, I suppose.


	57. (F + L) x (D x A) = Y

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Solve for (Fear + Loathing) x (Death X Abuse)."  
> \---  
> Yomi Takanashi has had enough of Kagari's bullshit- especially now that it's threatening to turn her into a god at the expense of countless lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...This one's kinda dark.
> 
> CW:  
> Kagari's Abusive Behavior.  
> Depictions of an Abusive Relationship.  
> Implications of Magic based abuse.  
> Murder in cold blood.  
> Fighting back against abuser.  
> Killing in defense to end a horrible situation.

There was a Spark.  
  
Yomi Takanashi sat in the dark of her bedroom, and watched as a Spark flared across her soul.  
  
Or, well, not directly, at any rate. That kind of magic would have involved the magical equivalent of an open heart bypass surgery to begin with and...  
  
Well. This rudimentary diagnostic spell was enough for her hypothesis anyways.  
  
A magical projection- a flattened map of the presumed spherical nature of Yomi's soul- lay spread before her, emerging from the gemstone that she'd basically glued to the skin of her chest over her heart... next to the scar that Kagari had given her what seemed a lifetime ago.  
  
Yomi swallowed as she took in the implications of the spark she saw before her. It pulsed, like a heart beat-- but it wasn't her heart beat, no, that was represented with another pulse a bit further off to the side. No, this wasn't even tied to her own magical essence-- that was another pulse of a green flame smoldering quietly in the center of everything...  
  
This was like some secondary heart nestled into her soul that was growing with every passing beat.  
  
 _Spark. Spark. Spark._  
  
It swelled, imperceptibly, save for the mental impression of a .9999999-extending off into infinity length by adding yet another nine to the end of it with every pulse and every tick.  
  
Not quite enough to roll over into the next whole number, but... enough growth that it was measurable...  
  
This was something inexplainable. And yet, this was clearly the thing Kagari had been after all this time.  
  
That strange book- that green and purple tome with the fancy golden RL scrawled on the cover- that Kagari had stolen out of the Arch Mage's library. The one that talked about things like Skaia and God Tiering...  
  
Ascension towards the power of Gods.  
  
Yomi felt a terrible tension in her back, between her shoulders, and she wasn't sure if it was the strain of casting this spell or the tension of the realization she had before her.  
  
The realization that Kagari had no doubt pushed Yomi towards to begin with when she insisted on making Yomi learn Necromancy so "they" could study soul magic.  
  
 _ **They.**_

 _Sure._  
  
If Kagari was studying necromancy, she wasn't showing Yomi any of the results  
  
But officially, it had only been Yomi who chose that route in school. Kagari never really practiced any of it. No, her magic went towards a different tendency.   
  
But this was Soul related. It was so intimately soul related and it was a miracle that nobody had ever discovered it before.  
  
Maybe it was the fact that Yomi had to come up with this utterly unique diagnostic spell?  
  
Or maybe it was the fact that whatever this was inside of Yomi's soul was nearing the tipping point into that rounding to a whole number.  
  
It... it would take another few years of natural growth to get there, but it would probably happen sometime in the next... eh... Well. Yomi wasn't certain but she would probably still be in her youthful years when it happened. Late 40s? That seemed to be right.  
  
...Obviously, though, there had to be ways of artificially producing the effect and the energy required of it if the tome was right. If this Skaia and its God Tiers really existed out there somewhere.  
  
Ascending to become Immortal through accessing a wellspring of Infinite Energy.  
  
...The question was... was it Yomi's right to develop such a thing?  
  
No, either way, Kagari would want to know she'd made her discovery.  
  


* * *

  
"Oh, Yomi, look at how my soul Swells," Kagari said, looking at the matrix projected infront of her. "I'm going to become a God!"  
  
Yomi felt nothing but fear as she worked the spell.  
  
Kagari was closer to Ascending. Far, Far, FAR closer to ascending than she herself was.  
  
It wouldn't take much to push her over the edge- within the next three years of growth if Yomi was understanding her spell's results right.  
  
Kagari would Ascend within the proverbial blink of an eye when compared to Yomi.  
  
"It's amazing," Yomi forced out, trying to remain positive even as the terror swelled in her soul. Kagari had a look in her eyes. The kind that said she was about to force something on Yomi. The kind that had resulted in Yomi learning Necromancy to begin with. The Kind that had resulted in Kagari scaring Yomi's chest with that damned heart---  
  
 ** _The Kind That had Lead to Kagari---_**  
  
Yomi closed her eyes, swallowed her fear, and pushed the anxiety of the trauma related to Kagari assaulting her that one time out of her mind.  
  
This wasn't the time and place for it.  
  
Kagari's growth was far faster. The beats and pulses were rapid fire, and with each one, greater and greater punches of soul magic were added with each burst.  
  
"How long, do you think?" Kagari asked.  
  
Yomi answered, "Within the next three to five years." She lied, claiming she didn't have a full grasp on the subject yet. It might buy her time. Buy her-  
  
"That's too long," Kagari said simply. "I want to do it before the year's over."  
  
And then she brought a hand up to Yomi's face, and Yomi fought back the urge to shudder.  
  
"Would you kindly figure out a way for me to... for Us. To Ascend. My Dear Yomi?" Kagari whispered. It wasn't a request, or a bargain. It was a demand.  
  
Kagari's voice was honeyed, but her eyes were narrowed and sharpened like knives.  
  
Yomi...  
  
Yomi was powerless to do anything about it but stall for time.  
  
There had to be a way to prevent Kagari from Ascending at all.  
  


* * *

  
Weeks blew by as Yomi performed the research, creating refined versions of the spell so that she could passively study her classmates at the Magic Academy.  
  
Kuroi, Mato, runic name The Black Rock Shooter, was another potential Ascendant, but she would be the key Yomi would need to figure it out.  
  
Weeks turned to Months, and with every kind act that Mato performed of her own volition, gratitude was expressed, and Mato's soul SURGED with affection and energy.  
  
Yomi was progressively certain she was piecing together what the mechanic behind the different absorbtion rates was.  
  
Kagari took everything from everyone, leaving them with nothing while bettering herself.  
  
Kagari wasn't simply just absorbing that energy faster than Yomi could- she was flat out stealing it from everyone around her.   
  
And Yomi was powerless to do anything to stop it. Kagari would ascend and-  
  
And while she was fearing for her life while passively watching Kagari from across the school yard as the blonde worked on her summoning magic, Yomi made another break through.  
  
Yomi felt a fragment of her own energy diminishing as Kagari's surged.  
  
Fear was just as powerful of a fuel as Gratitude and Respect were.  
  
Yomi herself was practically fueling Kagari's growth with the fear she sent the girl's way on a daily basis.  
  
The abuse Kagari had put Yomi through day to day was-- it was....!  
  
"Kagari's a fucking Lich," she swore quietly to herself.  
  
"What's that?" And then there was a teacher- no, a councelor. 

"Sayo-sensei," Yomi turned to her, and... And...  
  
"You look like you need somewhere private to talk," Sayo said, eyeing the training field with a frown. "Let's talk there, shall we?"  
  
And so they went to Sayo-sensei's office. ...And Yomi told her everything that Kagari had been putting her through for years.  
  
With each passing description of terror- with each display of torment and the 'gift' of the Heart Kagari had left on her skin...  
  
Sayo grew angrier. Yomi was afraid that Kagari would be ascending sooner rather than later and--  
  
"I'll let the authorities know," Sayo-sensei said suddenly, standing, and placing a hand on Yomi's shoulder. "You need to avoid Kagari until things get sorted out. Can you do that for me?"  
  


* * *

  
Kagari must have had a sixth sense already- or spies or something- because when the school bell rang ending the day, Kagari grabbed Yomi on her way home and dragged her into an alleyway.  
  
"What did that counselor want to talk to you about?" Kagari demanded, her voice cold and piercing and mocking and---  
  
Yomi lied- said it was about some concerned behavior regarding some of the other students Yomi had been spying on for research. Someone'd noticed she'd been staring, and so she'd been asked if she'd seen anything out of the ordinary...  
  
Kagari didn't quite buy it, but she pretended she did anyways. "Well, what about the research then? Did you make any breakthroughs?"  
  
"I think... I might have a theory?" Yomi hesitated. "I'm not sure if it'd work or not but-"  
  
"Tell me EVERYTHING." Kagari demanded, and Yomi---  
  
She broke.  
  
She broke and she told her about the observations of Gratitude and Appreciation and Fear-- all of it and other similar emotions made the Ascension Energy accumulate faster.  
  
And then Kagari smiled, and supposed a suggestion, "What if we killed a bunch of people and absorbed their souls? That'd really get the fear going, wouldn't it?"  
  
Yomi shot it down immediately- "There's no way to tell if that'd even work! There's no way to know if absorbing someone's soul would even power up your own in that way--!" Except she had a theory that it would work that way. A horrible, terrible theory and Yomi wanted nothing to do with it because that was Lichdom and Liches were horrible and---  
  
"I think I'll try it anyways," Kagari said, and then kissed her and...  
  
And Yomi blacked out.  
  


* * *

  
Either Mind Control or Poison was the only explanation, because Yomi woke up the next day, clothes torn up around her, half-heartedly chained to a boulder in the middle of a park.  
  
Yomi felt naked and cold, and afraid and---   
  
And she wasn't the only one here. Others- people she'd seen with potentials for Ascending-- Damn it all, Kagari must have been using her own version of the observation spell to target people.  
  
"Aaah," And Kagari stood there, dressed up in the gear of her Runic Mage self, Chariot. "Looks like Dead Master's awake. Just in time to kick off the ceremony."  
  
Mato looked at Yomi, horror in her eyes. Mato, poor Mato shouldn't have anything to do with this. She was a pure soul, and innocent soul not- not...!  
  
Kagari unchained her, and Yomi staggered to her feet.  
  
"What's... going on?" Yomi asked.  
  
"Oh, just the start of the end of your world." Kagari said, smiling sweetly... too sweetly. "Now then, my sweetheart. Would you do the honors of kick starting my-- OUR. Ascension to Gods?"  
  
Yomi wasn't sure what was happening- she wasn't sure what was was left or right or up or down but...  
  
But Yomi looked, and she saw Sayo-sensei sitting there, eyes firm and red and glowing and encouraging Yomi to STOP THIS.  
  
Yomi thought for a moment... even though her heart was racing a mile a minute and she felt defiled and used and... and just what had Kagari done to her while she was unconscious?  
  
It didn't matter. What Kagari was doing was... No. No! There was no time to second guess anything this was WRONG _and it was WRONG and Kagari was going too far and Yomi wanted OUT OF THIS **STUPID ABUSIVE RELATION SHIP FUCKING NOW!!!!**_  
  
She summoned her armor to her- the dress of Dead Master- and her scythe as well. Kagari watched with eager amusement...  
  
And thus, Yomi spoke with firm conviction in her heart even as her voice trembled.  
  
"No." Yomi said. "It won't work. We can't know if the magic actually works the way we think it does and doing this now without further research or testing is... it's immoral and I won't let you do this, Kagari!!"  
  
"Ah," Kagari said flatly. "I thought you'd say that."  
  
And then a giant metal wheel of a shield slammed into Yomi from behind, sending her flying sideways.  
  
Yomi blacked out again for a moment- just a moment, because when she came to, Kagari was standing near Sayo-sensei, her sword at the ready and gleaming.   
  
"--hink I'm stupid? No, of course I'm not. I know when adults are trying to take what's mine away from me," Kagari was saying. "And you've been a naughty thief, Sayo-sensei."

NO. Yomi knew what was coming and Yomi threw herself forwards--  
  
Kagari thrust her sword forwards--  
  
 _ **But then the World Lurched,**_ and Yomi Takanashi hit the dirt- her face hurt and it hurt so bad she'd---  
  
She spat out blood onto the ice cold, dirt and gravel covered ground of the ritual site and struggled back to her feet, looking around to get her wits about her.  
  
"You're. MINE." Kagari spat out vitriolicly. The tone of voice made Yomi's stomach twist into an uncomfortable knot. Years of this behavior made her want to cower and toe the line and... "Yomi. You'll always be mine even if I have to eat your damned soul to do it."  
  
Kagari's sword was stained red- far, far, FAR too much red and it was displaced on the side as if...  
  
Yomi looked down- she'd been batted aside by Kagari's sword's flat end but the sharp end...  
  
She didn't need to look but she did anyways.  
  
Sayo-sensei's body was set on fire with golden yellow flames.  
  
The world warped again- reality trembled...   
  
**The Ritual had begun.**  
  
"NO." Yomi snarled back, glaring defiantly at her abuser. "I won't let you Ascend."  
  
Kagari stood there opposite her, still clad in the regalia of Chariot, except there was...  
  
There was a crown this time, and... and the wheels?? When did she equip the wheel boots? Because her wheel-boots revved on the spot, and... and Kagari's clawed gloves flexed around her sword and shield.  
  
"You DARE to defy me, Yomi? After everything we've done together? After EVERYTHING I'VE DONE FOR YOU!?" Kagari shouted. And Yomi had Dejavu.   
  
She'd heard these words before. Time and again... but this time...  
  
This was public. This was far too public for Yomi's liking... but no, it was Kagari's liking. Her desire for this to remain private. Hidden.   
  
But with THIS audience there was no better way to set the record straight.  
  
 _ **"YOU'VE DONE NOTHING BUT HURT ME FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE!"** _Yomi shouted, summoning at her magic once more to summon her scythe to hand not to use, but to balance herself against. Her legs wobbled from the exertion she was putting out on all fronts.   
  
The People watched them- chained to the trees, chained to rocks, chained to the playground equipment and to the exercise stations...  
  
The place Kagari had chosen was called Shinigami Park, and it was clearly meant to be a blood bath of a ritual... but this...  
  
This....  
  
This was Too Far. Yomi repeated that like a mantra inside her head. Too Far Too Far Too Far!  
  
"And now this?! THIS!?" Yomi motioned at them all with her free hand. "Students, teachers, innocent civilians, workers, and parents, children and--" She snarled at Kagari. "This is just the same. You. Kagari. Trying to force me to do yet another thing you don't have the courage to do yourself because you refuse to get your hands dirty with anyones blood but my own." She spat out some blood and a loose tooth. _"I've had ENOUGH of your fucking Abuse, Kagari._ I won't let you bully me into using my powers to turn you into a God- or whatever the FUCK it is you think you want to be."  
  
Kagari snarled in turn. "Yomi, you little... Ungrateful--! _Since_ _**WHEN** have I ever HURT YOU before today?"_  
  
"You mean you don't remember the heart scar!?" Yomi asked, grabbing at her already torn up shirt and ripping it open, revealing the pale scar of a heart carved into her skin with a needle some years earlier. Kept fresh from constant applications whenever Kagari thought Yomi was getting thoughts of turning on her.

The reminder made Yomi want to cower again, beg for forgiveness so she didn't get hur-

 _ **"OR HOW ABOUT-!!?"** _Kagari actually flinched under Yomi's shout. _**"HOW YOU FUCKING DRUGGED OR SPELLED ME UNCONSCIOUS!"** _Yomi stomped her foot- flet her magic shaking off the last of whatever had been done to her. Not that it helped her legs stop from feeling like jelly.  
  
 _No More No More No More--_  
  
 _ **"NO MORE."** _Yomi shouted. "No More of THIS! No more of the HURT you put on me. Again and AGAIN and AGAIN!!!" She shrieked, tears flowing from her eyes. "You HURT ME! You USED ME! You FORCED ME to do HORRIBLE THINGS in your name!!!" She sobbed, grasp tightening onto her scythe to hold her steady.  
  
From nearby, Mato, chained up, gazed outwards in horror. Near her, some girl named... Yuu, Yomi thought, was struggling against her bindings.   
  
And over there was Sayo-Sensei who'd given her the... The courage to finally stand up again.  
  
Who'd tried so suddenly to get Yomi out of this situation only for Kagari to slate her as the first sacrifice towards her Ascension.  
  
And Sayo's as body burned up with flames as the magic Kagari had started when Yomi had refused to do it consumed her soul for fuel...   
  
...Yomi thought...  
  
...Sayo-sensei wouldn't mind if Yomi borrowed her strength for herself in this moment.  
  
"I'm Done Being Your Slave," Yomi hissed at Kagari- silently redirecting the energy of the ritual into herself instead of Kagari. One person's soul wasn't enough for this, it'd never be enough for ascending, but...  
  
Yomi needed just enough to win this fight. To stop Kagari from Ascending. Becoming an abuser of millions instead of just a handful of people.  
  
"Then I guess I'll just have to make you the next sacrifice," Kagari said coldly, eyes narrowing as golden flames erupted around her.  
  
"Just Try Me," Yomi declared, summoning her own battle aura around her- green flames wreathed with red hints.  
  
Kagari stopped short. "Red? Your soul shouldn't be red. It's Green. Foul and Putrid like the awful little girl you are!"  
  
Yomi let the insult flow past her. Just another familiar vitriolic that she'd heard time and time again.  
  
Yomi was done listening to her.  
  
"Fuck," Yomi swore. "YOU." She pulled her staff from the ground and forced the bones in her shoulders to grow into wings to support her weight. **_"TO THE ENDS OF HELL!"_**  
  
Green light erupted from her eyes.   
  
Kagari took a hesitant wheel backwards. "What the-!?" Then she scowled, and roared- charging forwards- _**"DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!"**_  
  
Yomi stood her ground- and let their weapons clash.  
  
"I'm DONE WITH THE GASLIGHTING!" Yomi swore- pushing back without losing ground to the wheeling charge Kagari was putting forwards.   
  
"I'm DONE with you FUCKING TURNING PEOPLE AGAINST ME!" She took a step forwards- and Kagari's wheels threw up dirt from the ground.  
  
"I'm Done with the Rumors," Yomi continued. "And I'm DONE WITH THE FUCKING FEAR!!!" She took another step, and another- Kagari was struggling, her sword wasn't breaking through Yomi's scythe.  
  
"Why!?" Kagari hissed. **_"Whywhywhywhywhy!?"_**  
  
 _ **"YOU KNOW WHY!!!"**_ Yomi roared- and then she swung her scythe.  
  
Kagari went flying- her sword too, in a different direction.  
  
It crashed into the ground between Mato and Yuu, and their chains shattered.  
  
 _ **"KAGARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"**_ Mato roared- igniting with blue flames as she summoned the regalia of her mage persona around her. Black Rock Shooter's cloak appeared over Mato's school uniform and the sword formed in her hand.  
  
Yomi allowed herself to catch her breath as Mato began throwing herself against Kagari's shield.  
  
Yuu was going around, using Kagari's sword to break everyone elses chains using her own bare hands- now gleaming with metal as her own magics took hold. Strength had entered the field.   
  
Yomi collected herself- collected the energies of the ritual, and began doing her best to shut it down.  
  
...Kagari had done her research, even if she'd not ever shown it to Yomi. She was probably just as accomplished in Necromancy Theory as Yomi was... even if Yomi was far more an expert at the practical from experience.  
  
This was a master tier spell in theory, but oh...was it flawed. If Yomi had crafted this thing, she'd have made it better, stronger, more fulproof and not-  
  
Not this.  
  
This foolhardy stupid ass experiment that should never be attempted and--  
  
 _Nobody would be Ascending today._  
  
Yomi Takanashi was a necromancer- and while she'd only gone down that path thanks to Kagari's abuse, she'd found that Kagari had seen one thing right in Yomi's soul.  
  
Death was a firm part of who she was, and Yomi had a supernatural TALLENT towards the weaving of Souls.  
  
Stopping this ritual was complicated, but not impossible.  
  
Yomi privately considered herself a Witch, for sure, when it came to the things. And that was a title she was proud of. Kagari had called her all sorts of things but never a Witch.  
  
A Witch of Souls.   
  
Yomi thought it fitting, here she was a proverbial Reaper clad in Green Flames, Witch of Souls... fighting to prevent a horrible person from becoming a God.  
  
"GYAH!" Mato suddenly was sent flying from a wheel-powered kick- and Yomi was forced to break her concentration to catch the girl as her blue flames sputtered out.  
  
The Ritual PULSED, and Reality trembled as a gateway wasn't stopped from opening in time.  
  
Infinite Soul Energy from outside this reality began flowing in, and Kagari started laughing, focusing on herself as her clothes ignited in flames or... whatever. Not Important Now.  
  
"Mato! Are you okay?" Yomi asked, looking at Mato.  
  
"Nrgh... Not really," Mato whimpered. "Can't beat her... She's too strong..."  
  
 _ **"THAT MOUSE IS WEAK, YOMI!"** _Kagari shouted. "She doesn't have the killer's instinct at all! Not like you! Not Like ME!"  
  
"You Can't kill her..." Mato muttered, dropping her sword to the ground. "It's impossible..."  
  
Yomi looked at the blade, and then to her own dropped scythe.

She could feel the work she'd done to stop the ritual becoming undone as Kagari forced it all back into alignment.  
  
A teacher shrieked as golden-yellow flames consumed him.  
  
Yomi spared a look at Yuu, who was aghast she hadn't made it in time to save that person.  
  
"Mato, help Yuu." She said. "Save them."  
  
And then she grabbed Mato's sword in one hand, and her scythe in the other, and allowed the blue flames of Mato's magic to mingle with Yomi's already strained mix of red and green as her aura reignited around her.  
  
"Yomi! Don't!" Mato shouted once she realized what was happening, but she couldn't get the strength back to her feet to stand up in time to stop Yomi as she lunged forwards into battle.  
  
It was a frenzied, furious thing- and Yomi knew she was running short on time. Kagari had a sword made of flames now- and a shield too, she'd ditched her original shield. And the wheels on her boots had melted away to reveal literal burning rings of fire and...  
  
Kagari was close. Too close to Ascending.  
  
Reality pulsed around them- trembling as the laws of physics began to cave before a terribly tyranical instance of a soul.  
  
Yomi didn't have enough. It wasn't enough. Wouldn't be enough.  
  
Blue flamed sword clashed with yellow fire and green flared up in Yomi's eyes.  
  
Another woman shrieked- but Mato got her free before anything more than her foot burned.  
  
Had to stop the ritual. Had to interrupt it at its focus point. That was th--  
  
 _ **...No!** _Stopping it would be cataclysmic to the world at this point. Yomi had a horrible premonition then. If she stopped this incredible flow of energy, it'd release into the wild and the planet might not survive.  
  
 _ **Explosion. Detonation. Shattering. GONE.**_  
  
She couldn't allow that. Kagari's last hurrah of a parting gift. The ritual had been designed that way to begin with it seemed.  
  
So flawed. So inefficient. There had to be better ways. Safer ways. But Kagari didn't want safer. She'd taken Yomi's early research results and run with them the moment they promised success without even so much of a proper theory crafted behind--  
  
This wasn't even ready for a trial run, and here Kagari was trying to Ascend to Godhood with it!!   
  
She had to stop this.  
  
She had to stop it the only other way possible.  
  
She had to replace Kagari as the focus.  
  
And there was only one way to do it.  
  
 **"YOMI!"** Mato shouted- Yomi didn't need to check- her sixth sense had confirmed it. Mato and Yuu had freed everyone they could. _"DON'T KILL HER! THERE HAS TO BE ANOTHER WAY!"_  
  
 _"She's SO Naive!"_ Kagari hissed as she locked weapons with Yomi. "She doesn't see what we see, does she? You know what you have to do if you really want to stop this, but doing it will make you no better than me!"  
  
"There's one difference between us Kagari," Yomi countered, narrowing her eyes. "I do what I do now to save people. Not hurt them."  
  
And then Yomi siphoned the red and blue together into purple around her weapons, and she kicked.  
  
Kagari suddenly found herself winded- and the flames around her briefly sputtered out. Her weapons faltered her armor--- when had her clothes and armor become replaced by the flames? It didn't matter now.  
  
Yomi saw her opening and struck for the chest with Mato's sword.  
  
Blood flew from Kagari's mouth as she gasped for air-- but then the flames returned around her- Yellow surging forwards and--  
  
A grin formed on Kagari's bloodied lips.   
  
"You're too late, Yomi Taka-"  
  
Yomi's scythe cut through her neck a second later- and Yomi felt reality tremble as she pulled Kagari's soul into herself- Burning away everything there while stealing the power it had absorbed into herself.  
  
Yomi heard screaming- she wasn't sure if it was her own or Mato's or Yuu's or the civilians or what.  
  
But she heard screaming, she felt the spark in her soul surging with energy--- igniting into a fullyfledged STAR!!!  
  
Blue flames consumed yellow- shifting them to Green- Yomi's green. The red flames of Sayo's soul gave her a comforting hug, before being absorbed as well.  
  
 ** _THOUSANDS of UNIVERSES worth of POWER flowed into Yomi, and she realized that Kagari had made a seriously fatal mistake._**  
  
...Bitterly, Yomi realized that the thief that Kagari was had only gotten where she was so close to ascending because she'd stolen it from someone else. And all of this other energy flowing in from the outside hadn't meant to be Kagari's either.  
  
All of this energy hadn't been directed at Kagari from the start- she'd just been stealing it like she stole everything.  
  
All of this energy had been destined to be Yomi's the entire time.  
  
"I guess I was wrong," Yomi said to herself, even as her body screamed with the energy flowing through it. "Someone was Ascending today after all."  
  
A series of threads wove around infront of her eyes- forming spell circles.  
  
She saw a name form, letter by letter.  
  


_**Y A O V I** _   
  


And then the threads copied- flipped horizontally, then the whole thing was copied and flipped vertically- and then it was all twisted ninty degrees and then there were Skulls forming at the corners- encircled and bound together.  
  
The mortal known as Yomi Takanashi ceased to exist in that moment.  
  
The spell circle spun before her eyes as a magic rune, a calling card...  
  
In her last breaths, Yomi closed her eyes, and smiled.  
  
...Kagari had to die so that countless others might live. In this reality there had been no other choice.  
  
Kagari was a person who could not have been allowed to Ascend.  
  
Gently, Yaovi's feet touched the ground, and she... did not feel the need to breathe. And yet, she did so regardless. She took in a deep breath, relishing in the success of the moment for a few seconds before letting it pass on.  
  
She'd done what needed to be done.  
  
She turned around to face Mato and Yuu and...  
  
Yuu looked like she understood what needed to be done. A small nod, a grim smile...  
  
Mato looked like she'd been utterly betrayed. The girl who had been Yomi Takanashi felt utter grief then.   
  
"You... killed her... You ate her soul...!" Mato whispered. "Why?"  
  
"It was the only way to save the world," Yomi explained. "If I'd stopped the ritual in any other way... that energy would have become directionless and--"  
  
"There had to be another way!" Mato shouted, _**"THERE HAD TO BE ANOTHER WAY BESIDES KILLING HER!!"**_  
  
And then Yaovi saw it, the spark of self regret. The potential to Ascend within Mato's soul was responding to this turmoil...  
  
Black Rock Shooter wanted revenge for a murder that had been done to save countless lives... because SHE had not been the one to perform the deed.

A kill stolen.  
  
No matter how she explained- no matter how Yuu tried to console her...  
  
The weeks wore on after that, and Mato grew more and more entrenched, trying to figure out ways that things could have been done differently. Insisting there had to be another way. The self blame was turning to anger towards Yomi after a time, and...  
  
...And so...  
  
Yaovi left the life of Yomi Takanashi behind as she escaped into the cosmos before Mato gained the power to get that revenge.  
  
She didn't understand. _Wouldn't understand. **Refused to Understand.**_  
  
And Yomi mourned the loss of her life that could have beem while Yaovi went into the space beyond space- the void between multiverses- seeking an escape she might never find...  
  
But one day would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I wasn't going to add another chapter to Determination Bound after that conclusion of the last chapter, but... I had some emotional stress I needed to burn and emotions to vent, and suddenly Yomi's backstory felt like it needed clarification and expansion... 
> 
> Well. I wound up with a chapter I wasn't sure should be stand alone, or go into a specific story somewhere and... 
> 
> I decided it goes here.  
> \---  
> For once I don't feel that I'm exaggerating a character when I write them doing horrible things.
> 
> Kagari was the kind of girl who canonically faked being hit by a car and being bound to a wheelchair just to guilt Yomi into 'being with her.'
> 
> Kagari- pre BRS interrupt- was kind of a total bitch. Change the setting to have legit magic, and put them in a school to train that magic and... 
> 
> That Heart Scar thing is CANON. I didn't make it up. Kagari *Fucking Did That* to Yomi.
> 
> The 2012 Black Rock Shooter Anime did NOT HOLD BACK. (Oh, and hey! It's getting a Blu Ray release finally sometime in 2021 WITH an English Dub! How about that!! neato!! But that's besides the point.)  
> \---  
> Yomi's Ascension was always intended as a bit of an escape for her. At the time I wrote Determibent I knew I didn't have the technical skills to cover it in any great detail. To do that would require... a lot. A lot I know I wasn't emotionally ready to handle. I'm still not. But... Last couple of days I got hit with a lot of similar feelings to Yomi. 
> 
> That feeling of being trapped in a worldly situation with no escape in your control. Things that you do just by existing suddenly feeling like they're under intense layers of scrutiny and attention by people who don't care how you feel or what you think. 
> 
> Because there's always Certain people with power complexes driving the fear and loathing and anxiety down upon the ones below them. Any small semblance of power over someone else, and they'll leverage it however they can.
> 
> A mean word here, a scowl there... It doesn't take much to make someone fear you. It takes courage, then, to fight back. To stand up and say no. To do the right thing and put an END to it.
> 
> And-- and yet despite that there are still idiots in the world who say fighting back against it is wrong?? And I'm??? 
> 
> You see some takes on the internet some days about various things. You see horrible things in the news and wonder how some people can be so cruel and--
> 
> How? How can anyone not think that fighting back against an abusive situation is anything but the right thing to do? You see something wrong and you work to END IT or else you're just letting it EXIST and COAST BY and--
> 
> And I perfectly understand some people literally can't afford to fight back emotionally or physically or monetarily... But the people who CAN fight back in their stead SHOULD DO SO to protect them. The Victim shouldnt HAVE TO FIGHT for their lives. Other people should be intervening and stopping it. 
> 
> But we all know the world's not perfect. And so situations arise where the victim has to fight back... and often times they're the ones wrongly punished for it. 
> 
> It's not right. Mato's stance here isn't right. There was no other way to disarm this ticking time bomb of a situation. Kagari had escalated to murder. Plain and Simple, she was escalating to murder here and Yomi had every right to kill her to stop her. There was no other way.
> 
> Mato's indignation over this would continue to fester, though. If only because she saw herself as the hero. A failed hero. A hero who didn't notice what was going on with Yomi and Kagari in this timeline. A failure who couldn't even beat back Kagari and stop her personally and then had her sword deliver a blow that didn't even finish the job. If only she'd done better. if only she'd caught the signs sooner... if Only. IF ONLY. There HAD To be ANOTHER WAY. There had to be some other, different course of action and---
> 
> This would continue to grow and she'd Ascend and chase after Yomi for a god awful amount of time, perpetuating the cycle of abuse because-
> 
> Because she refused to accept that there wasn't another way in this timeline. 
> 
> She didn't fight for Yomi sooner and because of that, she'd chase after her until her rage warped her into insanity, becoming the very thing that Yomi had to put down to begin with. 
> 
> And that's it. 
> 
> I still feel numb, trapped, by the situation around me. I'm hopeful I'll find that escape to a better life someday. I stand up and help where I can... but I'm afraid It'll never be enough. No matter what I do, or how I do it...
> 
> I'd rather be Yomi, than Mato, with how things turned out in this timeline.


End file.
